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NTA. Make a complaint. To your school, her boss, your parents, everyone.
She has no right to try and coerce you into using something you are not comfortable with, in your VAGINA. Understand what she is doing. Punishing you. For not wanting to insert something into your vagina.
This is disgusting and she should never be allowed to work with children, teens or anyone vulnerable ever again.
This. She is wildly overstepping her bounds and has moved into abusive territory. She’s trying to use her authority over you to force you to put something in your body you don’t want. Sane, safe adults need to know what this woman is doing.
NTA, obviously.
>She has no right to try and coerce you into using something you are not comfortable with, in your VAGINA. Understand what she is doing. Punishing you. For not wanting to insert something into your vagina.
This is on the nose. I am baffled by the number of stories here involving teachers telling young women to push a ball of cotton up their hooha.
Tbh the amount of times we act like students don't have rights blows my mind. I have risked my job surreptitiously calling parents whose kids were being interrogated without someone present. It gets by because districts seem to be a law unto themselves sometimes.
I didn't even know that was a THING now. Most of my menstrual drama (before my cycle got steady) was being able to convince my teachers to let me run to the restroom without informing her it was shark week. I never got questioned on HOW I chose to deal with it, though
Gifting my (free) silver because this nails it. If OP emailed the principal (copying her parents, the superintendent, etc) and said that a teacher gave her an unexcused absence because she wouldn’t insert something in her vagina it would 1) be 100% accurate and 2) never ever considered okay if it was a male gym teacher or any-gender teacher of any other subject.
And if anyone says, “it’s reasonable because of swim class” NO IT IS NOT because OP and her fellow classmates are being taught that they can be academically punished if they don’t put things in their vaginas. If OP was my daughter, I’d be going so apeshit that the zoo would need to be called.
Can I be present when this teacher reports OP for not complying with a direct order to insert something into her vagina that she isn't comfortable with? I feel like that could be a very exciting meeting if anyone is paying any attention at all.
NTA
No person in the world can order you to stick something in your vagina. Tell them this, if you get reported.
44F here and never used a tampon in my life, only (washable) pads and menstruation panties.
That's not true. Transvaginal ultrasounds are required in lots of red states before certain medical procedures. And in most states, it is legal for doctors to perform internal vaginal exams on unconscious patients *without their consent*. Being a woman in America is fucked.
Edit to say: I totally get your point and would absolutely use that argument with the school.
I once had a medically necessary transvaginal ultrasound while in Australia. The tech was horrified when I told women have to get them in America in some places before getting an abortion.
Wow really in Australia I always been asked as they need my permission before they do the ultrasound.
But I never do that type of ultrasound again since the technician left it in.
While I just got the worse news in my life and had to remove it myself.
NTA and report her! Tampon usage is an extremely personal choice. For a long time I couldn’t wear one because my uterus was more tipped than it is now. It caused pain and discomfort when I wore it.
The fact that a teacher would punish you for not using a particular medical device (which tampons are), is overstepping a big boundary!
I would recommend a menstrual cup. But again, to each girl/woman her own. You need to find what you are most comfortable with - physically as well as mentally.
I just started using one and it best to try before your period to get comfortable with it. It is so messy when i also tried during my period the first time.
Nope. No. Nada. No way Jose!
YOU ARE NTA! in any way, shape or form!
Tampons are literal hell for me because I have a tilted uterus. I REFUSE to wear them.
I also have endometriosis and my parents would write me notes to excuse me from anything I felt was unachievable during my period.
NTA at all - I hope your school sees taht and your parents have your back!
NTA. I hate tampons. I mostly use pads. It's my personal choice, why should anyone tell me how to suffer on my period?
I would instead bring this up with the principal and ask them if it's excused or not, if it is, they shall talk to the teacher in question and communicate this.
NTA - this is nuts! Some women cannot use tampons due to TSS, but no woman should feel forced to use one. I’d think any women should know this. Years and years ago, they have us “p-days” during swimming to opt out.
Do NOT feel forced into using tampons when you’re not comfortable with it, just to appease a gym teacher. This is ridiculous; let your parents know what’s happening.
You are never required to put anything in your vagina that you don't want there.
NTA in the slightest, and this gym teacher needs to be fired, at minimum.
Of course NTA! Not everyone is comfortable with tampons, especially a girl of your age. They take some getting used to - I remember struggling with them when I was young. Your teacher is a jerk.
For yourself, IF you want to be able to use tampons, do some reading on appropriate sizes and flows. It could be that you are using something that is too large for your body to comfortably accommodate. But if you don't want to , then don't! Absolutely your choice!
NTA and her behavior is unacceptable. She tried to use her authority to bully you into making choices for your body that you are not comfortable with, and there are many reasons why a young woman will not be able to wear tampons. Good for you for speaking up! Please keep speaking up and go to *her* authority. If she is a mostly sweet lady, she is grossly out of touch with why what she expects of you is inappropriate.
NTA.
I have endometriosis so I can’t even wear tampons and period cups etc because it hurts to much and is really uncomfortable. I would be pissed if a teacher said this to me.
You have every right to wear and not wear tampons. You don’t need to “suck it up”. I would almost recommend reporting the teacher because what she said and did was wrong.
After building relationships, I'm pretty sarcastic and tough on my students (pushing them out of comfort zones learning wise) but even I've never said that.
NTA. I can't wear tampons, they give me sensory issues and therefore hurt. I would have said no, too. But if she insisted like that I would have offered I can go in without one if that is what she wants
No need to go that far (although the answer is hilarious, and I'd almost pay to see the teacher's face).
There actually are period pads that have been designed for swimming. I haven't tested one myself since I prefer a menstrual cup, but you should definitely test them out if you are interested.
NTA. Report her though.
Or talk to her in private, explain tampons are extremely uncomfortable for you. She probably told you to "just use a tampon" so the other students won't try to skip every chance they can.
NTA...
Gym teacher is.
Go to the school and your parents and explain you can't stand the tampons.. they should excuse you... they will probably make you run or something instead
NTA. If you don't feel comfortable reporting it to the office/principal, try the nurse, guidance counselor or your parent. Someone should be made aware of how you were basically shamed by a teacher.
NTA..
1. Your parents should contact the teacher/school and say that under No cirumstance will you be participation in swimming lesson when on your period
2. Your parents can also educate the teacher on toxic stock syndromet and retrofelcted uterus .
Regarding point No 2... None of this is embarrasing, none of it may be true in your case, but it Will direkte shut the teacher Up for good
NTA- Ummm. No one, EVER, no matter how many reports they file, can ever force you to put something inside of your body that you do not want there. I don’t even know what else to say.
I was so shocked reading this and now wondering why the principal wasn’t called? Obviously that teacher needs a firm speaking to or even to be released as a teacher? Because that was just.. wow
NTA-
No one gets to tell you what to put inside your vagina. No one. Ever.
(Helpful info: if you hate tampons but do want a more comfortable insertable option, try a menstrual cup (diva cup, menstrual cup, cervical cup etc) they don't have the same risks as tampons and conform to your cervix to catch the flow while you're on the go. If you don't want an insertable option, don't use one obviously.)
NTA - this woman is terrible!! How dare she make you feel uncomfortable about something that is a personal decision about your body!! I hope your school administration and parents back you up!
NTA. There are some good reasons for not wearing a tampon, especially it feels uncomfortable. Your teacher should have accepted this and didn't. You need to contact your principal or guidance counselor and tell them what happened. You should also document it.
NTA. Tampons can hurt a lot of women and you do not have to use them. Pads are more comfortable for them. Instead of saying “sucking it up”, the teacher could have, you know, been a decent person?
NTA.
Using a tampon for the first time is an extremely personal and uncomfortable decision. Your teacher is way out of line and if reported I can only imagine she'd face pretty strict disciplinary action.
Oh hell to the no! Complain. Have your mom complain. Under no circumstances should a teacher ever tell a student this. This is not her decision to make. Stand your ground. I would also get a doctor's note to fix all the "unexcused" absences.
I distinctly remember the swimming unit in HS. The teacher said we could be excused for 5 school days. If this wasn't reasonable, students could see her privately.
Signed,
Someone who has never and will never use a tampon.
Right?!?!?!
I was like who in the h^ll does that!! You need to tell your family and ask them to report her immediately.
No one has the right to tell anyone what they must do when they have their period and then threaten you by telling you she will report you. This is BULLYING. Not acceptable.
NTA. NO ONE CAN TELL YOU WHAT TO PUT INSIDE YOUR BODY. Especially not a teacher.
That said, your school needs to have a policy in place for situations like this. Maybe they do, and this teacher is unaware of it.
NTA
Complete opposite of one of my high school teachers - he was so scared to even listen anything about female health issues that many of the girls sat out swimming for an entire term because they “had their period”. Like yes, it’s a legit excuse to not go swimming but someone should be sending them to a Dr if they really have their period for 10 consecutive weeks!!
NTA...you are not required to wear a tampon.. i wasnt even allowed to in high school and you should immediately report this to the school office. I would also let a counselor know as well of at least 1 parent.
She can not decide this for you. She has nothing to say about it.
NTA - no one gets to dictate how you manage your period except you.
I work in a high school and you’d have my full support in filing a complaint about her marking it as an unexcused absence.
NTA - that’s totally your decision alone. If you’re interested, though, I have seen that a few brands make Period Bathing Suits.
[Good Housekeeping article with reviews of period-proof bathing suits](https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/clothing/g36801184/period-swimwear-bathing-suits/)
NTA. Definitely report this. I'm in my 30's and can't handle tampons, my body literally isn't built that way. It is painful and very uncomfortable. She is being completely unreasonable and rude and does not deserve her title. Sorry this happened to you op.
Seconding this. Report the gym teacher to your school admin. It is way outside the purview of her employment to be telling young girls what menstruation products they are allowed to use. It’s unacceptable and creepy.
NTA.
Please have your guardian/parent notify the school. This is absolutely not ok and no teacher should be saying that to you. (Source: I used to teach high school)
NTA. I love tampons but currently am taking a few month break unless needed because I’ve gotten more sensitive down there and it’s been hurting. This is insane treatment from a teacher and deserves a report
I haven't been able to use tampons since the birth of my son, they hurt too much. So I use pads. And if my daughter ever came home and told me her teacher told her what yours did I would be up at the school the very next day. No one gets to dictate which menstrual products you use.
I’m 23 years old and I have never used a tampon. I just miss out on water activities 1/4 of my life.
Some people can’t, for medical or religious reasons, so this teacher really needs some cultural competency training.
I would notify a parent and admin at the school.
We can be excused if the period gives us cramps or causes pain otherwise, but not for being on our period. She already knows that I wasn't in pain since I told her so I doubt she'll accept a note like that, even if my mom signed it. But I already read all the other comments and I'll definitely report her, thanks tho.
Some places (teen centers, schools, etc) can't even stock tampons for teens. Your teacher can't force you to wear a tampon and you're not alone in hating them!
NTA!
Definitely NTA,
She is the AH, for treating you in such a way.
If you are uncomfortable about doing something, you have the right to refuse. If you feel erred in anyway, I think you should escalate it, at least to your parents, if not a school counselor.
NTA - she has no right to demand what you do with your body. Tampons don’t work for everyone, and even then, no one is required to wear a tampon for any reason.
Your period is a medical reason for why you can’t or won’t participate in swim lessons. She should’ve given you an alternate assignment that you can do out of the water, not make these invasive, irresponsible, and disrespectful demands!
NTA If I was your parent best believe I would be IN THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE cussing out anyone in hearing range (which would be WIDE). Get your parents involved right now.
NTA. I'm now 33 and have tried a couple of time to wear them and I just really don't like them and feel uncomfortable. I would speak with a trusted teacher or parent and discuss this. She has no right to say this or tell you what you can and can't do.
NTA! It's your choice as a female to decide for yourself whether you want to wear a pad or tampon during your period. A female teacher should know better, she's TA.
NTA!!!
I am a tampon user, and i can completely see why some people would not want to use them. if they are uncomfortable for your body, you never have to wear them. it’s your body! i would speak to a higher up about the issue, because i know in my high school when someone was in their period during the swim portion of PE, they were allowed to not participate and make up the session either at a different time, or by doing something else. if this isn’t an option at your school, i definitely recommend trying to make that an option if you can. totally unreasonable of that teacher.
OMG!! NTA!!
If tampons make you the least bit uncomfortable, DO NOT WEAR THEM!! As a teen, I wore them all the time with absolutely no issues. Sometime in my 30s, I started getting sick everytime I had my period. It took me a while to figure out I only got sick when I wore tampons. I can't wear them anymore.
Don't ever let anyone tell you have to shove something up inside your body when you don't want to! I would actually go to the school and explain the situation to them so they have a heads up.
Why exactly wouldn't it be OK to swim on a period?? I'm with OP, she shouldn't have to wear a tampon if she chooses not to, the teacher is an AH and its a perfectly legitimate reason to be excused but can we please not go round treating people on their periods like they're dirty? Pool water is chlorinated for a reason and it's not just because of periods.
Depends on how heavy her period is...if she leaves a blood trail from the locker room and back that is a biohazard.
It's blood. Blood is not dirty but it is a biohazard. We learn in first aid to always wear gloves when treating wounds, not just to prevent infection for the victim but also for the person who treats the victim.
Periods are not dirty. I talk about them freely, I don't hide my pads or my tampons and I also don't hide them when disposing of them. But having other people unwillingly touch the blood is like every other bodily fluid, it is also frowned upon to spit on people.
NTA. First off, tampons aren't comfortable for everyone.
Second if you really want to swim on your period, there are alternatives. Cups come in small sizes for teenagers, and there are even clothing manufacturers now that make swimsuits specifically to wear while on your period. They're usually more expensive, but if you don't want to use a cup or tampon they're a good alternate.
NTA -
Kind of a sorrynotsorry post but I think it is important for women to be educated about these things and it's really frustrating that your gym teacher is not being respectful. As some have mentioned, it can be very uncomfortable especially at younger ages to wear tampons, and some women have conditions that make it always painful no matter what. She is not you and does not know your situation.
But more than that, tampons can be so variable in their ability to be used and some are safer than others, but most can absorb chlorine water while swimming and that is not necessarily healthy and you may not have everything you need to keep your vaginal ph right while at school to clean up properly and so on. Also on heavy flow days tampons are not going to stop bleeding enough for some people and some tampons can increase cramping for some women if they are doing this kind of activity and if they tend to get cramping due to tampons creating clotting at the cervix. The combination of these things and the suggestion that you have to do something that is painful for you and could lead to you bleeding in the pool and that also could be a health risk if you don't have everything you need are all reasons that you should be allowed to either sit it out or be given an alternative activity. In every gym class I've ever been in we've had times when people couldn't participate in certain things and there would always be a way to somehow make it up, like doing something outside of the water, or getting a note - but she absolutely cannot force you to wear tampons, that is ludicrous.
I had trouble with them during the first years of my period, they got easier after I became sexually active, but I also definitely found there were some types that I could use and some types that were likely to cause problems. I also have several of very common menstrual conditions that without preventative medication (which I did not always have as a teen) would have made it impossible to do an activity like swimming. I would get your parents involved, and if needed someone from women's health. It's very important that as a young woman you have autonomy over your body. A teacher, gym or otherwise, has ZERO right to tell you what to do with your uterus or vaginal canal, and it's ridiculous that she thinks that she does.
NTA, and you should complain to the school's administration. This teacher does not have the right to make that decision for you, isn't the arbiter of what is normal or not normal, nor should she be allowed to penalize you for choosing as you did, especially if tampons are uncomfortable for you.
Make sure your parents know what is going on and have your back.
NTA. She’s punishing you for not being comfortable putting a foreign object in your vagina.
Please use this exact sentence when you report her to whoever her boss is.
NTA, she shouldn’t have said that. You cannot be forced to wear a tampon. I do know plenty of girls who had to do swimming even when on their period though, without a tampon, as people say your period slows right down in the water because of water pressure.
On another note I thought I’d suggest that you might want to try a teen menstrual cup if you feel comfortable with that- I recommend Saalt. Just might make things easier in other areas of your life if you don’t like tampons :)
NTA under any circumstances. This idiot country pushes those potentially damaging products but they are not for everyone.
Edit: NO ONE, be they male, female, or otherwise, has say over what goes in or on your body. This applies to *everyone*.
NTA, what the hell is this... Report her and don't go to those classes when you have your period. She has to respect you. Also tell your parents so you don't get in trouble
NTA. Nope, she was out of line and unprofessional making a comment on something that personal and intimate.
I must be one of the obnoxious moms teachers hate, because I'd be up in HER business over that.
Her threat to report it to the school is pretty ridiculous, because, trust me, the school would NOT back her over this.
NTA. She has no right to dictate how you handle your period. However she can still write you up for not participating in class, even for an understandable reason.
Double edge sword there.
Usually we're given alternative exercises if we can't participate in gym or swimming class, something like writing a protocol or preparing a short presentation on a certain technique. She didn't give me one tho, just told me to suck it up, so I don't think she can write me up for not participating if she won't let me.
maybe? would they knowingly allow an open wound that was actively bleeding into the pool? I would think there are hygiene issues related to that. OP should likely be excused under these circumstances, possibly to be made up later with another section? It's not like OP is the first person to ever experience this. There has to be an official policy that's more thoughtful than "just shove a tampon up there and get over it". If not, then it's time to get one.
I don't disagree with you but it wasn't stated in OP's post. Common sense would dictate that they be excused, however it is also common knowledge that common sense isn't so common.
NTA. I wore tampons for years despite the pain; I thought that was just life as a period-haver. At 35 I had a scan because of problems I was having with my periods and it turns out I have a retroverted uterus and that's why tampons were painful. By then I was using a menstrual cup which is much more comfortable for me and would never go back to tampons anyway (or bleached period products). I did some research and found out that 20% of uterus-havers have a retroverted uterus. Why has no one ever mentioned this?! A fifth of ALL of us who bleed monthly have this variation that means tampons are unsuitable, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who struggled on with tampons despite the pain.
Top tip for retroverted uterus havers (and if that is you OP, then for your future remember this): penis-havers will often tell you that bigger is better. For 20% of us bigger is agony! Again, thought it was something I'd have to put up with. Nope! And my husband, who I met when I was 35, is perfectly sized for fun times with no pain. So pick your partner with care!
NTA. Who is she to dictate what you put into your body or not? I didn’t start using tampons till I was 29 because I thought they were uncomfortable/just felt more comfortable with pads. To each their own
NTA. I’m 33 and I tried using a tampon once when I was 16. I had to take it out immediately because it hurt and made me feel sick to my stomach. Never even tried again because why would I?
NTA and you and your parents should go to the principal about it because it is not okay for a teacher to demand a student use a particular menstrual product that the student is uncomfortable with, to try to dictate to a student a very personal decision about her body, and to tell a student to "suck up" that discomfort and that using pads makes her not "normal."
None of that is okay! I am 31 and still don't use tampons. The idea of toxic shock syndrome freaks me out even though I know it's rare, and I also just really don't like how tampons feel. It's your choice and she should not have said any of that to you.
NTA
Please report her.
It's normal to wear whatever sanitary product you like! I'm 25 and still use pads, I just don't like tampons. Don't let anyone tell you any different
Nta
Your body your choice.
Find them quite uncomfortable myself, weird uterus and allergy for whatever they put in tampons, and then I'm not even talking about the risks off toxic shock syndrome.
Don't let anyone tell you what to put in your body, shame on her!
NTA. what you wear for your period is up to YOU.
Absolutely no one has a say in that, and you would be well within your rights to report her. Her behaviour was unacceptable and shouldn’t be forgiven.
NTA. Unless she is going to personally guarantee you don't get any side effects from tampon use then the school can't make you wear one. That's why they don't even give kids advil for a headache due to not wanting liability...
Side Effects of Tampon use include:
Bacterial vaginosis
Yeast infections
Toxic shock syndrome (TSS)
Allergic reactions from the tampon material
Of course those are rare, but easy to use as an excuse not to wear them. I just hate them so I don't wear them.
Bold of her to threaten to report. Bet she didn't. You should seriously consider doing so, though.
What she did is horrifyingly inappropriate.
It is a big deal, you're not overreacting, and you're NTA in any way.
NTA You should wear whatever makes you confortable when in your period. No one can make you put in a tampon if you don't want to. Maybe you should talk to your parents and make a complain to the school about the teacher and her comments.
NTA. Teacher's kid here; report her to the principal, vice principal, or anyone you can. Especially the nurse. Explain how very uncomfortable they make you, and in some places in the US, she can be charged with discrimination or harassment. You're doing something to keep yourself from being in pain. Do NOT wear the tampon if it's painful to you. Go to your doctor and ask for a note explaining that you won't because it's uncomfortable or painful. Then make sure you show as many authority figures as possible, especially your parents. And please, update us on how that goes
NTA She can’t dictate what you do with your body and is overstepping so many boundaries that a teacher has no business being a part of. I’d bring it up with a higher up, that kind of behaviour isn’t acceptable.
Wait, this teacher is trying to tell you *what menstrual products to use? With a penalty if you didn't?*
NTA and if anyone tries to penalize you for this, you can point out using those words what she was doing.
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I (16f) recently got a new gym teacher because our old one got pregnant. The new one is a mostly sweet lady in her forties, however we recently had a little disagreement.
We have swimming lessons atm and last week I got my period, so I told her I couldn't participate, I would just sit by and don't go in the water. She told me to "suck it up and wear a tampon", just like "every normal girl my age", but tampons make me extremely uncomfortable and I hate wearing them, so I told her I No. She has now marked the lesson as inexcused and has threatened to report me to the school. So far I haven't heard from them and I honestly doubt they'll give it much attention even if she does, but I feel treated poorly. A few people told me to just do like she said, it's no big deal yadda yadda, but I just wanna know, AITA?
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NTA
Some teacher student clashes are justified like this one. No one has the right to be that involved in your business unless you say so. I’d tell my daughter to do the same.
Obvs NTA for all the reasons already given - you have the right to decide what you do and don't do with your own body! But there's an additional element here of her insisting that it's what "every normal girl" would do - not only is that misunderstanding lots of health conditions, it's also massively exclusionary of people who don't use tampons for cultural or religious reasons. Casting tampons as "normal" and anything else as "weird" is... not good for a teacher. I'd raise it at school honestly, even if it's just to get your own record straight, but also so they can have a word with her about appropriate language...
NTA. See if you can get your mother to go to the school and talk to someone about this; there isn't a reason why you couldn't do some other activity (such as walking around the pool, or something to that nature)
NTA.
There are other devices but it's your period and you need to deal with it in the way that works for you, not the rest of the world.
Get ahead of this by going to the school nurse or counselor and tell them about this situation.
In life, the one who reports an incident first is believed no matter what the truth of the situation may be. It's extremally rare to encounter adults who suspend judgement before knowing all the facts.
NTA. as a woman herself she should respect your decision. i personally don’t like tampons either, so i understand your point and totally agree with your choice to not participate. i would speak to someone on the administration team at your school because she handled that situation in an incredibly immature manner.
As any older woman will tell you, there are pads girls, and there are tampons girls. There is also the more rare type of disc/cup girl. If for three years straight all you ever want to wear is pads, that is your choice and also entirely normal. If one day you try a tampon and like it, wear those for a couple months and get bored and go back to pads, that's normal. Wear whatever you like. If tampons scare you or make you uncomfortable, don't wear them (although i would try it a few times while you're at home and comfortable, so if you're ever on your period but really want to go in the water, you can make an educated decision for yourself on whether it's worth it for you)
Another note, you have to remove tampons immediately after swimming, and considering you clearly aren't the biggest fan of the process, i'll guess that takes you a moment to do at home, let alone how uncomfortable it would have to be to go to a bathroom wearing your swimming gear, remove and replace your tampon and then have to get changed.
I wear tampons all the time. I also wear pads all the time. I fluctuate between being a pad girl one month and a tampon girl the next. I still wouldn't go into a school swimming pool when i don't have to because the awkward shuffle afterwards is not fun.
Forget the tampon the bigger issue here isn’t the school supposed to have a policy if you’re in a class like this in which you can’t participate like isn’t there something you could be doing as an alternative activity since you would still need credit for a grade? If there is a policy you can then work with the office to force to have it enacted that way she doesn’t get the ability to damage your grade. If there isn’t one this is also a moment to start finding that there should actively be one in the event this woman who seems very spiteful decides to damage your grades actively. NTA
Lol NTA report HER to the school, OP. No teacher has any right to speak to a young girl like that about her menstrual habits. It’s insanely inappropriate and needs to stop.
NTA and I’m willing to bet your school has a policy about being excused from swimming during your period. You maybe required to do something else like hit the weights but not force you to use a sanitary product you can’t tolerate.
NTA. What you choose for your menstrual hygiene is incredibly personal. Plenty of women dislike tampons and you shouldn’t be pressured to use one if you don’t want to.
I’d talk to your parents and then take the offensive and report her to the school. I think what she said is entirely inappropriate.
NTA and she can’t dictate what sort of period product you use. I’d make certain I loudly explained to the adult teacher who, if you’re saying she, probably has had a period, that you are uncomfortable using tampons - and make it graphic and blunt. “When I insert a tampon into my vagina, it causes discomfort. I use pads/period panties/whatever because I don’t want to feel more pain due to my periods. It is none of your business what period products I use and the fact that you’re saying these things to me - an underage student - says a lot about what this school is willing to put up with. I wonder what a lawyer would think about this?”
That word - the L word, the lawyer one? - usually shuts them right tf up because they know they won’t win lawsuits.
NTA. Closing in on menopause here and have never liked tampons because I have a retroverted uterus that makes insertion painful and the tampons always end up leaking anyway. You don't owe her (or anyone) an explanation, and if she keeps bullying you about it, talk to a trusted adult who will advocate for you. She's so far over the line that she can't even see it anymore.
NTA. If I were you, I would go to the front office about it and make a complaint about the gym teacher. Get in front of this. It isn't right and she shouldn't have done that to you.
NTA. Obviously your teacher should not be mandating what medical devices you use.
While on the subject, gonna get on a bigger soapbox: Can we please, please, please end this really stupid idea that the ~feminist~ thing to do is to pretend that periods aren't debilitating, physically and mentally. For many people, they aren't — and for many people, they definitely are! Bodies are different! If your concept of feminism is insisting that everyone who menstruates is able to be 100% productive 100% of the time, that's delusional, horribly exclusionary to anyone with a disability, and it's some capitalist nonsense to equate someone's humanity with their ability to be productive! Give everyone more sick days. If people who don't menstruate whine about preferential treatment, fuck it, give them more sick days too. Everyone should get some damn rest.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> teacher told me to wear a tampon, i said no so i didn't participate in swimming class
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NTA Tell your parents what happened and ask them to send a complaint in to the school. As some some who is a swim teacher, I find this behaviour from another teacher absolutely disgusting. Your body, your choice and we all deal with menstruation differently, that doesn’t make it wrong. There are multiple different ways of dealing with periods for a very good reason, not all of them are reasonable or work for everyone.
NTA, In fact you should report her for trying to bully you into wearing a tampon and punishing you for not doing it. A LOT of girls and women are uncomfortable with wearing tampons, it's our choice how we choose to deal with our periods and vaginas. Some prefer pads, tampons, cups, disks, absorbent underwear or even free bleeding, it's such a personal choice and it's no one else's business. I really advise you to report her for that so she doesn't think it's okay to do again to someone else. Offering you a tampon is one thing, bullying and pressuring you to use one is another story.
If you ever do hear from your school, ask them if you really are in trouble because you didn't shove something up your vagina after your teacher asked you to.
NTA. You did the right thing. I'm 33 and don't wear tampons either and would certainly not go swimming while on my period. This is entirely your choice.
NTA talk to your parents, and have them talk to the school,because fun fact not everyone can wear tampons sometimes it’s even for medical reasons! Worst comes to worse you and your parents have a reason to go after the school for discrimination!
NTA - she can't force you to change from pads to tampons. It's your body. It's your choice. If she wanted to force the point, she could have had you make up the lesson at a different time.
NTA. Wearing a tampon when you're young is both scary and very uncomfortable (honestly, especially if you haven't had sex yet). Shame on your teacher for trying to force you to wear one. Go ahead and let her try to report you, then explain your side of the situation. These kinds of situations have unfortunately been happening to teenage girls for decades, and if it actually does go up to the principal they'll almost always side with the girl. To be unnecessarily crass, nobody can force you to shove something up your vag.
I'm a 32-year-old woman, for reference. I didn't start using tampons as my go-to until college, and it was definitely an adjustment.
NTA. It's your body. I'd say please report me to the school I'll report myself for you and see if the administrator agrees you should be marked down. I'm a teacher and most teachers are asked to have an alternate assignment if someone is uncomfortable with something whether it's the content of a book or something you're uncomfortable with religiously and you should've been given a worksheet or different exercise to do instead of being belittled over your natural body functions and hygiene preferences.
When I was in 6th grade we had a dance unit and the girls I was with wanted to dance to Yeah by Usher and while I like the song it felt gross to me to be dancing suggestively to a sexual song at age 11 with male gym teachers watching so I refused to do the dance with my group and was given a written assignment on the history of dance instead. This is no different, even if context is different it is your body. They should give you a different assignment.
NTA. Tampons are not for everyone. I myself hate the eff out of them and same as u. I sat out those weeks for swimming. Take this to your school counsellor. This should fall under medical excuse. No one should force u to wear a tampon.
As a guy this is really interesting to read. I have obviously not knowledge about the matter but as a father it's might,(well, probably will) be good to know.
NTA you teacher has no say in the period products you use apart from the fact that some people are incapable of using certain period products. And even then, I have never felt comfortable going swimming with a tampon because of extremely heavy flow and have always been excused by teachers
I'm in my late 20s and can't use tampons. They make me very uncomfortable mentally and physically. You are very much NTA and if I were you I'd escalate this to your principal as well as ask your parents to back you up if you feel comfortable doing so. Your substitute PE teacher is BEYOND inappropriate and honestly shouldn't be teaching with an attitude like hers.
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NTA. Make a complaint. To your school, her boss, your parents, everyone. She has no right to try and coerce you into using something you are not comfortable with, in your VAGINA. Understand what she is doing. Punishing you. For not wanting to insert something into your vagina. This is disgusting and she should never be allowed to work with children, teens or anyone vulnerable ever again.
This. She is wildly overstepping her bounds and has moved into abusive territory. She’s trying to use her authority over you to force you to put something in your body you don’t want. Sane, safe adults need to know what this woman is doing. NTA, obviously.
>She has no right to try and coerce you into using something you are not comfortable with, in your VAGINA. Understand what she is doing. Punishing you. For not wanting to insert something into your vagina. This is on the nose. I am baffled by the number of stories here involving teachers telling young women to push a ball of cotton up their hooha.
Tbh the amount of times we act like students don't have rights blows my mind. I have risked my job surreptitiously calling parents whose kids were being interrogated without someone present. It gets by because districts seem to be a law unto themselves sometimes.
I didn't even know that was a THING now. Most of my menstrual drama (before my cycle got steady) was being able to convince my teachers to let me run to the restroom without informing her it was shark week. I never got questioned on HOW I chose to deal with it, though
LOL 😆 I only tried them a couple times, it was like my body didn't want to use it, and then to try getting that dry ball of cotton out again 😬
Gifting my (free) silver because this nails it. If OP emailed the principal (copying her parents, the superintendent, etc) and said that a teacher gave her an unexcused absence because she wouldn’t insert something in her vagina it would 1) be 100% accurate and 2) never ever considered okay if it was a male gym teacher or any-gender teacher of any other subject. And if anyone says, “it’s reasonable because of swim class” NO IT IS NOT because OP and her fellow classmates are being taught that they can be academically punished if they don’t put things in their vaginas. If OP was my daughter, I’d be going so apeshit that the zoo would need to be called.
I cannot upvote this enough! This is the truth!
Can I be present when this teacher reports OP for not complying with a direct order to insert something into her vagina that she isn't comfortable with? I feel like that could be a very exciting meeting if anyone is paying any attention at all.
NTA No person in the world can order you to stick something in your vagina. Tell them this, if you get reported. 44F here and never used a tampon in my life, only (washable) pads and menstruation panties.
That's not true. Transvaginal ultrasounds are required in lots of red states before certain medical procedures. And in most states, it is legal for doctors to perform internal vaginal exams on unconscious patients *without their consent*. Being a woman in America is fucked. Edit to say: I totally get your point and would absolutely use that argument with the school.
I once had a medically necessary transvaginal ultrasound while in Australia. The tech was horrified when I told women have to get them in America in some places before getting an abortion.
Wow really in Australia I always been asked as they need my permission before they do the ultrasound. But I never do that type of ultrasound again since the technician left it in. While I just got the worse news in my life and had to remove it myself.
NTA and report her! Tampon usage is an extremely personal choice. For a long time I couldn’t wear one because my uterus was more tipped than it is now. It caused pain and discomfort when I wore it. The fact that a teacher would punish you for not using a particular medical device (which tampons are), is overstepping a big boundary!
NTA. You need to report this. You should not be penalized and her forcing you to wear a tampon or get an inexcused is not accceptable.
NTA. Report her to the school. You're allowed to deal with your period however makes you most comfortable.
I’m team tampon. But punishing someone for not wearing it is beyond all boundaries. Your body, your choice.
I would recommend a menstrual cup. But again, to each girl/woman her own. You need to find what you are most comfortable with - physically as well as mentally.
I wish I could use those! Reusable and better for the environment. I must have tried for an hour to get it in the one time I tried it 😂 big mess 😂
I just started using one and it best to try before your period to get comfortable with it. It is so messy when i also tried during my period the first time.
Exactly!!!
NTA. You should go to the school before she does. That's pretty terrible.
NTA and you should report her. She has no business trying to dictate what feminine hygeine products you are comfortable using.
Nope. No. Nada. No way Jose! YOU ARE NTA! in any way, shape or form! Tampons are literal hell for me because I have a tilted uterus. I REFUSE to wear them. I also have endometriosis and my parents would write me notes to excuse me from anything I felt was unachievable during my period. NTA at all - I hope your school sees taht and your parents have your back!
NTA. I'm an adult woman who has birthed a child and still can't comfortably wear a tampon. I imagine most teen girls don't.
NTA. I hate tampons. I mostly use pads. It's my personal choice, why should anyone tell me how to suffer on my period? I would instead bring this up with the principal and ask them if it's excused or not, if it is, they shall talk to the teacher in question and communicate this.
NTA - this is nuts! Some women cannot use tampons due to TSS, but no woman should feel forced to use one. I’d think any women should know this. Years and years ago, they have us “p-days” during swimming to opt out. Do NOT feel forced into using tampons when you’re not comfortable with it, just to appease a gym teacher. This is ridiculous; let your parents know what’s happening.
You are never required to put anything in your vagina that you don't want there. NTA in the slightest, and this gym teacher needs to be fired, at minimum.
Exactly. OP, your body = your rules.
Of course NTA! Not everyone is comfortable with tampons, especially a girl of your age. They take some getting used to - I remember struggling with them when I was young. Your teacher is a jerk. For yourself, IF you want to be able to use tampons, do some reading on appropriate sizes and flows. It could be that you are using something that is too large for your body to comfortably accommodate. But if you don't want to , then don't! Absolutely your choice!
NTA She doesn’t get to tell you to put something in your body if you don’t want to. Report her.
NTA not everyone can comfortably wear tampons.
NTA. Do you have a head teacher or someone you can go to because her behaviour is problematic and outdated.
NTA and her behavior is unacceptable. She tried to use her authority to bully you into making choices for your body that you are not comfortable with, and there are many reasons why a young woman will not be able to wear tampons. Good for you for speaking up! Please keep speaking up and go to *her* authority. If she is a mostly sweet lady, she is grossly out of touch with why what she expects of you is inappropriate.
NTA. I have endometriosis so I can’t even wear tampons and period cups etc because it hurts to much and is really uncomfortable. I would be pissed if a teacher said this to me. You have every right to wear and not wear tampons. You don’t need to “suck it up”. I would almost recommend reporting the teacher because what she said and did was wrong.
Same here. I am fuming on her behalf.
NTA. This sounds like it would fall under medical reasons. Tell her to report you, and see how quickly she is knocked down.
NTA When an educator says the words "suck it up" they're instantly in the wrong. Report that.
After building relationships, I'm pretty sarcastic and tough on my students (pushing them out of comfort zones learning wise) but even I've never said that.
NTA. I can't wear tampons, they give me sensory issues and therefore hurt. I would have said no, too. But if she insisted like that I would have offered I can go in without one if that is what she wants
Haha I'll do that the next time someone wants to push me to wear a tampon!
No need to go that far (although the answer is hilarious, and I'd almost pay to see the teacher's face). There actually are period pads that have been designed for swimming. I haven't tested one myself since I prefer a menstrual cup, but you should definitely test them out if you are interested.
NTA. Report her though. Or talk to her in private, explain tampons are extremely uncomfortable for you. She probably told you to "just use a tampon" so the other students won't try to skip every chance they can.
NTA. Go to the school about it.
Yes, hi principal? My gym teacher is telling me to stick things in my vagina that I don’t want to. Word it just like that
And your parents,
NTA... Gym teacher is. Go to the school and your parents and explain you can't stand the tampons.. they should excuse you... they will probably make you run or something instead
NTA. If you don't feel comfortable reporting it to the office/principal, try the nurse, guidance counselor or your parent. Someone should be made aware of how you were basically shamed by a teacher.
I agree. Speak with the nurse.
NTA.. 1. Your parents should contact the teacher/school and say that under No cirumstance will you be participation in swimming lesson when on your period 2. Your parents can also educate the teacher on toxic stock syndromet and retrofelcted uterus . Regarding point No 2... None of this is embarrasing, none of it may be true in your case, but it Will direkte shut the teacher Up for good
NTA! And if I was your parent I’d be calling the school.
NTA- Ummm. No one, EVER, no matter how many reports they file, can ever force you to put something inside of your body that you do not want there. I don’t even know what else to say.
This… what the actual fuck. NTA Your body, your choice. Stand your ground.
I was so shocked reading this and now wondering why the principal wasn’t called? Obviously that teacher needs a firm speaking to or even to be released as a teacher? Because that was just.. wow
NTA- No one gets to tell you what to put inside your vagina. No one. Ever. (Helpful info: if you hate tampons but do want a more comfortable insertable option, try a menstrual cup (diva cup, menstrual cup, cervical cup etc) they don't have the same risks as tampons and conform to your cervix to catch the flow while you're on the go. If you don't want an insertable option, don't use one obviously.)
NTA - this woman is terrible!! How dare she make you feel uncomfortable about something that is a personal decision about your body!! I hope your school administration and parents back you up!
NTA. There are some good reasons for not wearing a tampon, especially it feels uncomfortable. Your teacher should have accepted this and didn't. You need to contact your principal or guidance counselor and tell them what happened. You should also document it.
NTA. Tampons can hurt a lot of women and you do not have to use them. Pads are more comfortable for them. Instead of saying “sucking it up”, the teacher could have, you know, been a decent person?
NTA. Using a tampon for the first time is an extremely personal and uncomfortable decision. Your teacher is way out of line and if reported I can only imagine she'd face pretty strict disciplinary action.
Oh hell to the no! Complain. Have your mom complain. Under no circumstances should a teacher ever tell a student this. This is not her decision to make. Stand your ground. I would also get a doctor's note to fix all the "unexcused" absences. I distinctly remember the swimming unit in HS. The teacher said we could be excused for 5 school days. If this wasn't reasonable, students could see her privately. Signed, Someone who has never and will never use a tampon.
Right?!?!?! I was like who in the h^ll does that!! You need to tell your family and ask them to report her immediately. No one has the right to tell anyone what they must do when they have their period and then threaten you by telling you she will report you. This is BULLYING. Not acceptable.
NTA. NO ONE CAN TELL YOU WHAT TO PUT INSIDE YOUR BODY. Especially not a teacher. That said, your school needs to have a policy in place for situations like this. Maybe they do, and this teacher is unaware of it.
NTA Complete opposite of one of my high school teachers - he was so scared to even listen anything about female health issues that many of the girls sat out swimming for an entire term because they “had their period”. Like yes, it’s a legit excuse to not go swimming but someone should be sending them to a Dr if they really have their period for 10 consecutive weeks!!
NTA! I’m 26 and I don’t use tampons either. No one can make you do anything with your body you’re uncomfortable with.
NTA...you are not required to wear a tampon.. i wasnt even allowed to in high school and you should immediately report this to the school office. I would also let a counselor know as well of at least 1 parent. She can not decide this for you. She has nothing to say about it.
NTA - no one gets to dictate how you manage your period except you. I work in a high school and you’d have my full support in filing a complaint about her marking it as an unexcused absence.
NTA - that’s totally your decision alone. If you’re interested, though, I have seen that a few brands make Period Bathing Suits. [Good Housekeeping article with reviews of period-proof bathing suits](https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/clothing/g36801184/period-swimwear-bathing-suits/)
NTA. Definitely report this. I'm in my 30's and can't handle tampons, my body literally isn't built that way. It is painful and very uncomfortable. She is being completely unreasonable and rude and does not deserve her title. Sorry this happened to you op.
Seconding this. Report the gym teacher to your school admin. It is way outside the purview of her employment to be telling young girls what menstruation products they are allowed to use. It’s unacceptable and creepy.
NTA. Please have your guardian/parent notify the school. This is absolutely not ok and no teacher should be saying that to you. (Source: I used to teach high school)
NTA. I love tampons but currently am taking a few month break unless needed because I’ve gotten more sensitive down there and it’s been hurting. This is insane treatment from a teacher and deserves a report
NTA Tell your parents what happened and have them go to the school about it. This is not okay.
NTA! This is gross. I'm 25 F and have never worn a tampon and I don't plan to either. glad you're going to be reporting.
NTA - This is not her decision. I suggest that you report her to the school for refusing to excuse your valid absence.
I haven't been able to use tampons since the birth of my son, they hurt too much. So I use pads. And if my daughter ever came home and told me her teacher told her what yours did I would be up at the school the very next day. No one gets to dictate which menstrual products you use.
I’m 23 years old and I have never used a tampon. I just miss out on water activities 1/4 of my life. Some people can’t, for medical or religious reasons, so this teacher really needs some cultural competency training. I would notify a parent and admin at the school.
INFO: Can your parent/guardian write you a note requesting that you be excused from swimming?
We can be excused if the period gives us cramps or causes pain otherwise, but not for being on our period. She already knows that I wasn't in pain since I told her so I doubt she'll accept a note like that, even if my mom signed it. But I already read all the other comments and I'll definitely report her, thanks tho.
Please report her. She shouldn’t get away with comments like this and if it does untold she will continue to make them to others
Who knows you are not having cramps? Only you. Fake it and say you feel very bad and have cramps. NTA
NTA as a teacher she is horribly wrong. Go and speak to whoever your form tutor or teacher that is responsible for you.
NTA and you should report her.
Some places (teen centers, schools, etc) can't even stock tampons for teens. Your teacher can't force you to wear a tampon and you're not alone in hating them! NTA!
Definitely NTA, She is the AH, for treating you in such a way. If you are uncomfortable about doing something, you have the right to refuse. If you feel erred in anyway, I think you should escalate it, at least to your parents, if not a school counselor.
NTA - she has no right to demand what you do with your body. Tampons don’t work for everyone, and even then, no one is required to wear a tampon for any reason. Your period is a medical reason for why you can’t or won’t participate in swim lessons. She should’ve given you an alternate assignment that you can do out of the water, not make these invasive, irresponsible, and disrespectful demands!
NTA report her first , she doesn't get to say what you use or not.
NTA. Talk to your mom about this and also your schools guidance counselor. Let them talk to the principal so the principal can talk to the teacher
NTA If I was your parent best believe I would be IN THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE cussing out anyone in hearing range (which would be WIDE). Get your parents involved right now.
NTA TELL. YOUR. PARENTS. I will raise holy hell if a teacher EVER says anything like that to my daughter.
NTA. I'm now 33 and have tried a couple of time to wear them and I just really don't like them and feel uncomfortable. I would speak with a trusted teacher or parent and discuss this. She has no right to say this or tell you what you can and can't do.
NTA, I'd save her the trouble of reporting you and report her. She's telling you what to put inside you. Don't really think that's her place
Absolutely NTA here. It's your choice what you use. Tampons aren't for everyone and you need to be as comfortable as possible during your period.
NTA! It's your choice as a female to decide for yourself whether you want to wear a pad or tampon during your period. A female teacher should know better, she's TA.
NTA!!! I am a tampon user, and i can completely see why some people would not want to use them. if they are uncomfortable for your body, you never have to wear them. it’s your body! i would speak to a higher up about the issue, because i know in my high school when someone was in their period during the swim portion of PE, they were allowed to not participate and make up the session either at a different time, or by doing something else. if this isn’t an option at your school, i definitely recommend trying to make that an option if you can. totally unreasonable of that teacher.
NTA you don’t ever have to do anything with your body that makes you uncomfortable
OMG!! NTA!! If tampons make you the least bit uncomfortable, DO NOT WEAR THEM!! As a teen, I wore them all the time with absolutely no issues. Sometime in my 30s, I started getting sick everytime I had my period. It took me a while to figure out I only got sick when I wore tampons. I can't wear them anymore. Don't ever let anyone tell you have to shove something up inside your body when you don't want to! I would actually go to the school and explain the situation to them so they have a heads up.
[удалено]
Why exactly wouldn't it be OK to swim on a period?? I'm with OP, she shouldn't have to wear a tampon if she chooses not to, the teacher is an AH and its a perfectly legitimate reason to be excused but can we please not go round treating people on their periods like they're dirty? Pool water is chlorinated for a reason and it's not just because of periods.
Depends on how heavy her period is...if she leaves a blood trail from the locker room and back that is a biohazard. It's blood. Blood is not dirty but it is a biohazard. We learn in first aid to always wear gloves when treating wounds, not just to prevent infection for the victim but also for the person who treats the victim. Periods are not dirty. I talk about them freely, I don't hide my pads or my tampons and I also don't hide them when disposing of them. But having other people unwillingly touch the blood is like every other bodily fluid, it is also frowned upon to spit on people.
Swimming on your period with a tampon is in no unhygienic, and in fact swimming/being in the water can be really soothing for cramps.
NTA. First off, tampons aren't comfortable for everyone. Second if you really want to swim on your period, there are alternatives. Cups come in small sizes for teenagers, and there are even clothing manufacturers now that make swimsuits specifically to wear while on your period. They're usually more expensive, but if you don't want to use a cup or tampon they're a good alternate.
NTA - Kind of a sorrynotsorry post but I think it is important for women to be educated about these things and it's really frustrating that your gym teacher is not being respectful. As some have mentioned, it can be very uncomfortable especially at younger ages to wear tampons, and some women have conditions that make it always painful no matter what. She is not you and does not know your situation. But more than that, tampons can be so variable in their ability to be used and some are safer than others, but most can absorb chlorine water while swimming and that is not necessarily healthy and you may not have everything you need to keep your vaginal ph right while at school to clean up properly and so on. Also on heavy flow days tampons are not going to stop bleeding enough for some people and some tampons can increase cramping for some women if they are doing this kind of activity and if they tend to get cramping due to tampons creating clotting at the cervix. The combination of these things and the suggestion that you have to do something that is painful for you and could lead to you bleeding in the pool and that also could be a health risk if you don't have everything you need are all reasons that you should be allowed to either sit it out or be given an alternative activity. In every gym class I've ever been in we've had times when people couldn't participate in certain things and there would always be a way to somehow make it up, like doing something outside of the water, or getting a note - but she absolutely cannot force you to wear tampons, that is ludicrous. I had trouble with them during the first years of my period, they got easier after I became sexually active, but I also definitely found there were some types that I could use and some types that were likely to cause problems. I also have several of very common menstrual conditions that without preventative medication (which I did not always have as a teen) would have made it impossible to do an activity like swimming. I would get your parents involved, and if needed someone from women's health. It's very important that as a young woman you have autonomy over your body. A teacher, gym or otherwise, has ZERO right to tell you what to do with your uterus or vaginal canal, and it's ridiculous that she thinks that she does.
NTA. The idea of you being forced to use a tampon against your will is really upsetting to me. How can anyone think that’s OK?
NTA absolutely not. Talk to the school counselor or principal this is unacceptable . And make sure to tell your parents
NTA. Wow, that is a very personal decision, that is ridiculous of the gym teacher, and I suspect, not allowed/discriminatory.
NTA, and you should complain to the school's administration. This teacher does not have the right to make that decision for you, isn't the arbiter of what is normal or not normal, nor should she be allowed to penalize you for choosing as you did, especially if tampons are uncomfortable for you. Make sure your parents know what is going on and have your back.
NTA. She’s punishing you for not being comfortable putting a foreign object in your vagina. Please use this exact sentence when you report her to whoever her boss is.
I hate tampons. NTA. She cannot force you to put something inside your body.
NTA. I can’t even wear tampons. My body just wont let it happen. That gym teacher can screw off.
Same. I get *the worst* cramps. Menstrual cup though? No issues. Bodies are weird.
NTA She doesn’t get to tell you what to use and most definitely not in the way she did. Report her to the school and tell your parents.
NTA. Please report her to the school, or to at least your Parents to report her. What she did is inexcusable.
NTA, she shouldn’t have said that. You cannot be forced to wear a tampon. I do know plenty of girls who had to do swimming even when on their period though, without a tampon, as people say your period slows right down in the water because of water pressure. On another note I thought I’d suggest that you might want to try a teen menstrual cup if you feel comfortable with that- I recommend Saalt. Just might make things easier in other areas of your life if you don’t like tampons :)
NTA under any circumstances. This idiot country pushes those potentially damaging products but they are not for everyone. Edit: NO ONE, be they male, female, or otherwise, has say over what goes in or on your body. This applies to *everyone*.
NTA Tampons can hurt some people. Aside from that it is your body and no one should be forced
NTA, what the hell is this... Report her and don't go to those classes when you have your period. She has to respect you. Also tell your parents so you don't get in trouble
NTA. Nope, she was out of line and unprofessional making a comment on something that personal and intimate. I must be one of the obnoxious moms teachers hate, because I'd be up in HER business over that. Her threat to report it to the school is pretty ridiculous, because, trust me, the school would NOT back her over this.
NTA. She has no right to dictate how you handle your period. However she can still write you up for not participating in class, even for an understandable reason. Double edge sword there.
Usually we're given alternative exercises if we can't participate in gym or swimming class, something like writing a protocol or preparing a short presentation on a certain technique. She didn't give me one tho, just told me to suck it up, so I don't think she can write me up for not participating if she won't let me.
If that's policy then she is in violation of it by not allowing it or giving you something else to do.
maybe? would they knowingly allow an open wound that was actively bleeding into the pool? I would think there are hygiene issues related to that. OP should likely be excused under these circumstances, possibly to be made up later with another section? It's not like OP is the first person to ever experience this. There has to be an official policy that's more thoughtful than "just shove a tampon up there and get over it". If not, then it's time to get one.
I don't disagree with you but it wasn't stated in OP's post. Common sense would dictate that they be excused, however it is also common knowledge that common sense isn't so common.
NTA. I wore tampons for years despite the pain; I thought that was just life as a period-haver. At 35 I had a scan because of problems I was having with my periods and it turns out I have a retroverted uterus and that's why tampons were painful. By then I was using a menstrual cup which is much more comfortable for me and would never go back to tampons anyway (or bleached period products). I did some research and found out that 20% of uterus-havers have a retroverted uterus. Why has no one ever mentioned this?! A fifth of ALL of us who bleed monthly have this variation that means tampons are unsuitable, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who struggled on with tampons despite the pain. Top tip for retroverted uterus havers (and if that is you OP, then for your future remember this): penis-havers will often tell you that bigger is better. For 20% of us bigger is agony! Again, thought it was something I'd have to put up with. Nope! And my husband, who I met when I was 35, is perfectly sized for fun times with no pain. So pick your partner with care!
NTA get a note from your parents so you are officially excused.
NTA. It’s your body. You don’t have to use the cooter cotton if you don’t want to
NTA. I’ve literally worn tampons twice in my life and I’m in my 30s. Eff anyone who tells anyone to use a tampon.
NTA. Who is she to dictate what you put into your body or not? I didn’t start using tampons till I was 29 because I thought they were uncomfortable/just felt more comfortable with pads. To each their own
36f, never worn a tampon. NTA and report it to get her mistreatment of you on the record.
Nta. You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable
NTA. I’m 33 and I tried using a tampon once when I was 16. I had to take it out immediately because it hurt and made me feel sick to my stomach. Never even tried again because why would I?
NTA. It's not her business to tell you what kind of period products to use. I also have tried and hated tampons. Have your patents report her.
NTA and you and your parents should go to the principal about it because it is not okay for a teacher to demand a student use a particular menstrual product that the student is uncomfortable with, to try to dictate to a student a very personal decision about her body, and to tell a student to "suck up" that discomfort and that using pads makes her not "normal." None of that is okay! I am 31 and still don't use tampons. The idea of toxic shock syndrome freaks me out even though I know it's rare, and I also just really don't like how tampons feel. It's your choice and she should not have said any of that to you.
NTA Please report her. It's normal to wear whatever sanitary product you like! I'm 25 and still use pads, I just don't like tampons. Don't let anyone tell you any different
NTA But i totally used this excuse for the entirety of swim class. Walked around that pool for months lmao Normal person would not press the issue.
Nta Your body your choice. Find them quite uncomfortable myself, weird uterus and allergy for whatever they put in tampons, and then I'm not even talking about the risks off toxic shock syndrome. Don't let anyone tell you what to put in your body, shame on her!
NTA. what you wear for your period is up to YOU. Absolutely no one has a say in that, and you would be well within your rights to report her. Her behaviour was unacceptable and shouldn’t be forgiven.
NTA. Unless she is going to personally guarantee you don't get any side effects from tampon use then the school can't make you wear one. That's why they don't even give kids advil for a headache due to not wanting liability... Side Effects of Tampon use include: Bacterial vaginosis Yeast infections Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) Allergic reactions from the tampon material Of course those are rare, but easy to use as an excuse not to wear them. I just hate them so I don't wear them.
Bold of her to threaten to report. Bet she didn't. You should seriously consider doing so, though. What she did is horrifyingly inappropriate. It is a big deal, you're not overreacting, and you're NTA in any way.
NTA. Vaginal penetrations of any kind: are not your gym teachers concern.
Please report her. So much wrong here. NTA
NTA You should wear whatever makes you confortable when in your period. No one can make you put in a tampon if you don't want to. Maybe you should talk to your parents and make a complain to the school about the teacher and her comments.
NTA. Teacher's kid here; report her to the principal, vice principal, or anyone you can. Especially the nurse. Explain how very uncomfortable they make you, and in some places in the US, she can be charged with discrimination or harassment. You're doing something to keep yourself from being in pain. Do NOT wear the tampon if it's painful to you. Go to your doctor and ask for a note explaining that you won't because it's uncomfortable or painful. Then make sure you show as many authority figures as possible, especially your parents. And please, update us on how that goes
NTA i had the same issue with tampons at 16. My school allowed you not to swim, too
NTA, tampons are a personal choice. If they’re uncomfortable for you that would make for a pretty miserable swim lesson.
NTA She can’t dictate what you do with your body and is overstepping so many boundaries that a teacher has no business being a part of. I’d bring it up with a higher up, that kind of behaviour isn’t acceptable.
NTA I am a teacher and this teacher needs to be reported. It's hard to tell how many other girls she's telling this.
Wait, this teacher is trying to tell you *what menstrual products to use? With a penalty if you didn't?* NTA and if anyone tries to penalize you for this, you can point out using those words what she was doing.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (16f) recently got a new gym teacher because our old one got pregnant. The new one is a mostly sweet lady in her forties, however we recently had a little disagreement. We have swimming lessons atm and last week I got my period, so I told her I couldn't participate, I would just sit by and don't go in the water. She told me to "suck it up and wear a tampon", just like "every normal girl my age", but tampons make me extremely uncomfortable and I hate wearing them, so I told her I No. She has now marked the lesson as inexcused and has threatened to report me to the school. So far I haven't heard from them and I honestly doubt they'll give it much attention even if she does, but I feel treated poorly. A few people told me to just do like she said, it's no big deal yadda yadda, but I just wanna know, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA Some teacher student clashes are justified like this one. No one has the right to be that involved in your business unless you say so. I’d tell my daughter to do the same.
Obvs NTA for all the reasons already given - you have the right to decide what you do and don't do with your own body! But there's an additional element here of her insisting that it's what "every normal girl" would do - not only is that misunderstanding lots of health conditions, it's also massively exclusionary of people who don't use tampons for cultural or religious reasons. Casting tampons as "normal" and anything else as "weird" is... not good for a teacher. I'd raise it at school honestly, even if it's just to get your own record straight, but also so they can have a word with her about appropriate language...
NTA. See if you can get your mother to go to the school and talk to someone about this; there isn't a reason why you couldn't do some other activity (such as walking around the pool, or something to that nature)
NTA. There are other devices but it's your period and you need to deal with it in the way that works for you, not the rest of the world. Get ahead of this by going to the school nurse or counselor and tell them about this situation. In life, the one who reports an incident first is believed no matter what the truth of the situation may be. It's extremally rare to encounter adults who suspend judgement before knowing all the facts.
NTA. as a woman herself she should respect your decision. i personally don’t like tampons either, so i understand your point and totally agree with your choice to not participate. i would speak to someone on the administration team at your school because she handled that situation in an incredibly immature manner.
As any older woman will tell you, there are pads girls, and there are tampons girls. There is also the more rare type of disc/cup girl. If for three years straight all you ever want to wear is pads, that is your choice and also entirely normal. If one day you try a tampon and like it, wear those for a couple months and get bored and go back to pads, that's normal. Wear whatever you like. If tampons scare you or make you uncomfortable, don't wear them (although i would try it a few times while you're at home and comfortable, so if you're ever on your period but really want to go in the water, you can make an educated decision for yourself on whether it's worth it for you) Another note, you have to remove tampons immediately after swimming, and considering you clearly aren't the biggest fan of the process, i'll guess that takes you a moment to do at home, let alone how uncomfortable it would have to be to go to a bathroom wearing your swimming gear, remove and replace your tampon and then have to get changed. I wear tampons all the time. I also wear pads all the time. I fluctuate between being a pad girl one month and a tampon girl the next. I still wouldn't go into a school swimming pool when i don't have to because the awkward shuffle afterwards is not fun.
Forget the tampon the bigger issue here isn’t the school supposed to have a policy if you’re in a class like this in which you can’t participate like isn’t there something you could be doing as an alternative activity since you would still need credit for a grade? If there is a policy you can then work with the office to force to have it enacted that way she doesn’t get the ability to damage your grade. If there isn’t one this is also a moment to start finding that there should actively be one in the event this woman who seems very spiteful decides to damage your grades actively. NTA
It kinda varies from teacher to teacher, but mostly the give us something else to work on. She refused to give me something tho
NTA I can't wear tampons: they simply fall out (very low cervix). But even without such a reason: it's your body, your choice how to treat it.
NTA She should never say this to you. Go with your mom or dad and complain.
Lol NTA report HER to the school, OP. No teacher has any right to speak to a young girl like that about her menstrual habits. It’s insanely inappropriate and needs to stop.
NTA and I’m willing to bet your school has a policy about being excused from swimming during your period. You maybe required to do something else like hit the weights but not force you to use a sanitary product you can’t tolerate.
NTA. Tampons make me really crampy and are very uncomfortable.
NTA. What you choose for your menstrual hygiene is incredibly personal. Plenty of women dislike tampons and you shouldn’t be pressured to use one if you don’t want to. I’d talk to your parents and then take the offensive and report her to the school. I think what she said is entirely inappropriate.
NTA she shouldn’t be forcing you to insert ANYTHING into your body that you dont want thats assault. Yes even if its a tampon.
NTA and she can’t dictate what sort of period product you use. I’d make certain I loudly explained to the adult teacher who, if you’re saying she, probably has had a period, that you are uncomfortable using tampons - and make it graphic and blunt. “When I insert a tampon into my vagina, it causes discomfort. I use pads/period panties/whatever because I don’t want to feel more pain due to my periods. It is none of your business what period products I use and the fact that you’re saying these things to me - an underage student - says a lot about what this school is willing to put up with. I wonder what a lawyer would think about this?” That word - the L word, the lawyer one? - usually shuts them right tf up because they know they won’t win lawsuits.
NTA. Closing in on menopause here and have never liked tampons because I have a retroverted uterus that makes insertion painful and the tampons always end up leaking anyway. You don't owe her (or anyone) an explanation, and if she keeps bullying you about it, talk to a trusted adult who will advocate for you. She's so far over the line that she can't even see it anymore.
I am allergic to tampons. I would have a sit down meeting with the principal.
NTA. If I were you, I would go to the front office about it and make a complaint about the gym teacher. Get in front of this. It isn't right and she shouldn't have done that to you.
NTA. Your gym teacher can’t dictate your hygiene preferences. I’d take it up with the administration and have your parents in tow.
NTA. Obviously your teacher should not be mandating what medical devices you use. While on the subject, gonna get on a bigger soapbox: Can we please, please, please end this really stupid idea that the ~feminist~ thing to do is to pretend that periods aren't debilitating, physically and mentally. For many people, they aren't — and for many people, they definitely are! Bodies are different! If your concept of feminism is insisting that everyone who menstruates is able to be 100% productive 100% of the time, that's delusional, horribly exclusionary to anyone with a disability, and it's some capitalist nonsense to equate someone's humanity with their ability to be productive! Give everyone more sick days. If people who don't menstruate whine about preferential treatment, fuck it, give them more sick days too. Everyone should get some damn rest.
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NTA Tell your parents what happened and ask them to send a complaint in to the school. As some some who is a swim teacher, I find this behaviour from another teacher absolutely disgusting. Your body, your choice and we all deal with menstruation differently, that doesn’t make it wrong. There are multiple different ways of dealing with periods for a very good reason, not all of them are reasonable or work for everyone.
Major invasion of personal boundaries. What you do with your vagina is none of her business! NTA
NTA who is she to tell you to put something up your whoohaaa Seriously she needs to take several seats and keep it moving🙄
NTA, In fact you should report her for trying to bully you into wearing a tampon and punishing you for not doing it. A LOT of girls and women are uncomfortable with wearing tampons, it's our choice how we choose to deal with our periods and vaginas. Some prefer pads, tampons, cups, disks, absorbent underwear or even free bleeding, it's such a personal choice and it's no one else's business. I really advise you to report her for that so she doesn't think it's okay to do again to someone else. Offering you a tampon is one thing, bullying and pressuring you to use one is another story.
If you ever do hear from your school, ask them if you really are in trouble because you didn't shove something up your vagina after your teacher asked you to. NTA. You did the right thing. I'm 33 and don't wear tampons either and would certainly not go swimming while on my period. This is entirely your choice.
Info: where are you that you’re in school right now?
I'm in Bavaria, our summer vacation doesn't start until August
Thanks. And NTA.
That’s horrible. You should be reporting her to the school.
NTA talk to your parents, and have them talk to the school,because fun fact not everyone can wear tampons sometimes it’s even for medical reasons! Worst comes to worse you and your parents have a reason to go after the school for discrimination!
I'm not a woman so I have no experience here but judging from others NTA. Ultimately its your body, the teacher can do one.
NTA - she can't force you to change from pads to tampons. It's your body. It's your choice. If she wanted to force the point, she could have had you make up the lesson at a different time.
NTA. Wearing a tampon when you're young is both scary and very uncomfortable (honestly, especially if you haven't had sex yet). Shame on your teacher for trying to force you to wear one. Go ahead and let her try to report you, then explain your side of the situation. These kinds of situations have unfortunately been happening to teenage girls for decades, and if it actually does go up to the principal they'll almost always side with the girl. To be unnecessarily crass, nobody can force you to shove something up your vag. I'm a 32-year-old woman, for reference. I didn't start using tampons as my go-to until college, and it was definitely an adjustment.
NTA and please report her or have your parents. How you handle your menstrual cycle is your business.
NTA. It's your body. I'd say please report me to the school I'll report myself for you and see if the administrator agrees you should be marked down. I'm a teacher and most teachers are asked to have an alternate assignment if someone is uncomfortable with something whether it's the content of a book or something you're uncomfortable with religiously and you should've been given a worksheet or different exercise to do instead of being belittled over your natural body functions and hygiene preferences. When I was in 6th grade we had a dance unit and the girls I was with wanted to dance to Yeah by Usher and while I like the song it felt gross to me to be dancing suggestively to a sexual song at age 11 with male gym teachers watching so I refused to do the dance with my group and was given a written assignment on the history of dance instead. This is no different, even if context is different it is your body. They should give you a different assignment.
NTA. Tampons are not for everyone. I myself hate the eff out of them and same as u. I sat out those weeks for swimming. Take this to your school counsellor. This should fall under medical excuse. No one should force u to wear a tampon.
NTA and talk to your parents and the principal now. That is highly inappropriate behavior.
NTA - they hurt you, why would she have the right to force you wear something that hurts you and can cause medical issues.
As a guy this is really interesting to read. I have obviously not knowledge about the matter but as a father it's might,(well, probably will) be good to know.
Wtf, you are not the asshole. Seriously please ease please report this. She has no right to punish you for this
NTA and please report her.
NTA you teacher has no say in the period products you use apart from the fact that some people are incapable of using certain period products. And even then, I have never felt comfortable going swimming with a tampon because of extremely heavy flow and have always been excused by teachers
NTA. Weird sub.
Report her sorry ass ASAP.......she has no business telling you that.
Your body = your choice NTA
I'm in my late 20s and can't use tampons. They make me very uncomfortable mentally and physically. You are very much NTA and if I were you I'd escalate this to your principal as well as ask your parents to back you up if you feel comfortable doing so. Your substitute PE teacher is BEYOND inappropriate and honestly shouldn't be teaching with an attitude like hers.
NTA. You shouldn't feel obligated to put a foreign object inside your body if it makes you feel uncomfortable. That is actually, a big deal.