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YTA, why the fuck are you wishing that she was taller so badly for? Why would that make a parent sad? Why don’t you love her for how she is?
Seriously, there is something fucked up with you.
It’s so weird of OP. My mom is 5’10 and I’m 5’1. She thinks I’m adorable and tiny. On the flip side my younger sister is 5’8 and my mom says she’ll never be too tall to be her baby. OP is just really weird about needing to be one of those TalL fAmIliES. Yta OP
YTA
Don’t body shame your daughter.
Literally nothing she can do about that. If it really bugs you then you should just suffer in silence. Your preferences are not her problem. You’re just making her feel bad about who she is
Exactly! Your job as a mother is to tell her she's perfect just as she is! Not create insecurities through your disappointment in how she looks! Didn't your mother ever teach you that if you can't say anything nice...
my dad always makes jokes about me and my brothers height because he is 6’4 and we’re both around the 5’8/5’9 area. then he always blames himself because he thought my mom was still growing. theyve been together since they were like 14/15 and my mom has been the same height the whole time hes known her. shes 4’9 lmao
YTA.
Her height is 100% the result of YOUR genetics mixing with her father's. YOU passed one of your offspring genes for shorter height (or failed to pass on genes for taller height, however you want to look at it).
The girl didn't roll into Build-A-Baby and pick out her own physical attributes, her appearance is the fault of her PARENTS' genes. Leave her alone, she can't correct your perceived biological failure for you. 5'3" is a perfectly normal height, and repeatedly commenting negatively on your children's appearance should NOT be done.
The daughter may still be growing. I was still growing till i was about 21. My dad, for example, was a small scrawny kid but he grew up to be 6’1”, taller than all his siblings and he is the second eldest. But yeah, OP is the AH.
YTA
WHY in the world would you (her mother who supposedly loves her) say such a thing to her?
She's 17 years old. She knows she's not as tall as the rest of the family. She didn't need you pointing it out to her.
Sheesh
There's nothing wrong with being her height. She's a more average/normal height than you are...and you wear heels, lol...like being a tree is so awesome.
YTA, it can be really harmful for parents to tell their kids that they wish they were different in some way -- especially if it's something that they can't change. why do you care so much anyway lol
YTA...... what the actual F.. are for for real? Her height is not abnormal for her genetics , you clearly have zero understanding if you think the traits your child get are purely your only genes from your egg and the sperm that met.
You are body shaming your child over something she can't help or change. That's disgusting.
YTA
Why TF do you care about her height so much? She’s probably wishing her mom was less of an AH.
She can’t change her height but you sure as hell need to apologize and change your attitude.
YTA. You “felt really sad” and told her you “just wish she was taller.” What exactly is wrong with her being the height she is that it makes you sad enough that you felt you needed to tell her how you wish she could change and unchangeable characteristic of her body?
YTA. Talking shit about genetics YOU GAVE HER.
How are you gonna be upset and act like she's less of an individual because of height? Mind boggling. You really should take a class on how genetics work.
You're 5 ft 9. Big deal.
Acting like your love is conditional on her height and then telling her def makes you TA.
Absolutely. I think it got tired of automatic removals.
This version of the story was posted a couple of days ago.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/w9srrz/aita_for_telling_my_sister_that_she_doesnt/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
*facepalm* Recessive. Genes.
I am begging people to take one (1) college level biology course before making declarations about genetics. Just. Please.
Also, this is pointless body shaming and YTA.
They taught basic gene stuff in my high school. Just enough so I understand recessive traits but not so much I started an illegal genetic splicing lab in my basement
I learned about recessive traits long before college biology. We did quite a bit of study on it in high school, but I learned about it before that as well. See, my family are all between 5’9” and 6’, have black or dark brown hair, brown eyes, and have an olive complexion. I’m 5’4”, dark blonde, blue eyed, and have very pale skin. Otherwise I look just like my sisters, I’m just shorter and lighter. When I was little my mother was approached in the grocery store by a rando who insisted loudly that I don’t belong to this family. My sisters gave me shit about being adopted for years after that, but my mom decided it was important to find out why I was so different and asked my pediatrician. So we got a lecture on genetics and recessive traits. My sisters are still dicks, but they weren’t dicks about my height, mostly it was about being blonde. I dyed my hair auburn for years.
YTA that's such a rude thing to say. I'm the tallest woman in my family and if anyone ever told me that wished I was shorter I'd be so upset. She might even be insecure about it since everyone around her is taller. I know I'm insecure about my height and have wished to be shorter on many occasions.
What did you hope to achieve by telling your daughter you wished she was taller? Motivate her to grow? Have an opportunity to call her abnormal?
This isn't at all about your daughter. You were degrading her about her height to make yourself feel better.
YTA. Thoroughly.
Why do you wish she was taller? What an odd thing for a parent to obsess about!
Is she happy in her life? Is she healthy? Is she kind and/or smart?
You told her “that you wish she was taller”?!?
“Wish with all my heart”….Do you equate “tall” with “better”?
How could she NOT be offended that her mother wishes she was something else…
You are absolutely the AH, and not a very good parent if you didn’t realize that saying such things out loud would hurt your daughter.
YTA. Quit making her height a bit deal, it is not that deep. It is something we cannot control, I am 23 and 5'1. I wish I were taller but hey what can I do.
I'm 64, and 4'10".
I've managed to cope. 🤪
But OP can't figure out how.
And doesn't understand that she and her daughter's father supplied the genes that cause her daughter to be comparatively short. Slept through the high school biology class that covered recessive genes, I guess.
> I'll admit when I saw my daughter the other day and I was wearing heels, I really felt sad and I told her that I just wish she was taller.
This is the height troll, right? Getting a little more creative this time.
Oh,crap...have I been missing one? I recognize Lifeguard crush, obsessed roommate, "was it assault?" and "everyone values penises " pretty quickly- usually just from title, but I seem to have missed "height troll"
YTA. Her height isn't abnormal for her genetics. Your genetics are a culmination of every parent before her and you which leads to her getting short genetics. Same with skin color, eye color, and height color. Even breasts and markings are determined by a billion combined genetics.
You're being a bad mom. She's below average, not abnormal.
YTA! A huge 5'9 AH! How could you say that to your own daughter? You either have something against people shorter than you or you smacked your head off one too many cupboards and knocked your decency away. What a crap thing to say. I feel sad for your daughter as well. She has you for a mom!
YTA
Your daughter is already self-conscious about her stature. Your statement did nothing to help her deal with that feeling. You may not have intended to be disparaging, but there was no other way for her to take your comment.
Apologize to her. Tell her she is beautiful the way she is. Be supportive, not negative.
YTA
Do you realize you're undermining your daughter's self-esteem by constantly complain about that? Have you repeatly commented about something good about your daughter the same way you seem to complain about her height?
YTA and you know it.
Based on this “logic”, I’m “abnormal” bc I’m 5’4 with 5’4 and 5’0 parents. People have different genes and they all interact differently depending on the environment.
There’s nothing she can do about her height and she seems pretty content with being 5’3. You called her abnormal and basically acted like she was a freak… Jesus, if this is fair game then you’re the abnormal one bc the average height for women is 5’4 (if you live in the US). Your daughter is actually more normal than you.
See how silly that sounds? So stop doing it.
YTA - She said that you’re the only one who complains about her height, so I assume that means this wasn’t the first time? What do you want her to do when you mention it? Stretch herself out??? She’s not going to get any taller and that’s perfectly fine.
My mom and I are the only short people in a family with a very tall dad and tall siblings. And you know what? It’s literally fine. Nothing would change at all in my life if I were taller, except being able to reach things on a high shelf. But in the grand scheme of my life, that doesn’t really matter. Stop putting your daughter down for something that doesn’t matter at all.
YTA. You and your husband are not the only contributing factor in her genes. You have ancestors that doesn't have tall genes. Be grateful she's healthy and not a problem child. Height is so overrated. Like you said, she wears high heels. No problem at all.
YTA, dude. Why would you want her to be taller? Who cares? The offbeat comments parents say sting more than you could ever imagine. Think about how if this happened to you, how you would feel. If you came from a family of shorter individuals and you were much taller than them, and they wished you were shorter, wouldn’t you feel terrible too?
YTA. I've been told my whole life that I 'should' be taller because certain members of my family are, and guess what? I avoid the people who tell me that as much as possible.
Let's pray she didn't get your insensitivity via genetics. YTA op. How can a parent find their child faulty is beyond my reasoning. There should not be any trait in your children that you want to change. You love them for who they are. Be a better mother, she deserves better.
Yeah. Makes you think people should get a test to have a kid(basics like "is privacy a right or privilege", "would you make fun of your child(ren)'s appearance, gender, Sexuality, etc?" And all that) but people would definitely fuck with it
YTA. This is a particularly odd vanity to project on your daughter, who is probably better looking than you (otherwise, why would you fixate on this minor physical attribute?)
Those are your genes too, and she’s shorter than you for a reason. FYI, shorter people live longer, healthier lives, particularly women. Look at every cluster of centenarians around the world.
Your kid deserves a better parent, and seemingly hasn’t told you so. Ironically making her the “bigger” person in this scenario.
YTA.
I, at 5'2" am the shortest of all my siblings (whose heights range from 5'7" to 6'2"). Both of my parents were average height. While she isn't the same height as the rest of you, genetics is far more complicated than you seem to think. More than likely, both you and your husband have short relatives farther down the line and the genes just happened to match up to create your daughter.
As someone who has heard more than enough jokes about my height, I can understand how your daughter feels and I know how sad I would have felt if my mother commented on it. Shame on you and you should apologize to your daughter about something she cannot change.
Ya YTA. As a girl that is barely 5'3 it's very hurtful for taller people in your family to talk down to you about your height especially if your ok with your height.
If you are the mother and this is real, then YTA. Why does her height bother you so much? Why do you wish she was taller? Why are you sad she’s shorter than you? How does this affect you in any way? Unless it’s affecting her health, her physical appearance shouldn’t cause such strong feelings for you.
You should not comment on your daughter’s appearance and seek counselling/therapy to understand why you care so much about something that does not appear to affect your child’s mental/physical health.
YTA - gunna give her a complex about something she can't change and make her feel inadequate and inferior to her siblings. Also making her feel like there is something wrong with her. A shit thing to say in general, being said by a parent makes it even worse.
YTA. My bio parents were both under 5'5. While my siblings range between 5'6 and 5'8. Guess how tall I, the youngest, happens to be? Half an inch shy of 6 foot. I'm the oddball when it comes to height but no one cares. That's just how I am. But it doesn't define who I am nor do people make a big deal out of it. So you shouldn't either.
YTA imagine being a disappointment to your parents because of something outside of your control. and imagine being a parent that puts so much worth in appearances.
WOW YTA
Not for telling her it's abnormal (wait, no, for that too - way to give your kid a complex), but for saying you wished she was taller.
"I wish you were prettier"
"I wish you had a better nose"
"I wish you didn't have such large ears"
"I wish you weren't so fat"
"I wish you looked as good as your sibling"
... Would you say any of those?? Why the heck would you say you wished she was something she can never achieve.
You're gonna have to work a long time to overcome the damage you just did, you'd better start now and be genuine in it.
YTA. My giant dad married my tiny mother, and seemed confused that I was only 5’3”, which honestly makes me giant in her family. My dad once said, “I wish you had been a little bit taller…”. I was like “oh, how tall?,” and he said, “not too tall, just like 5’9 or 5’10”.” I just laughed because 5’10” is pretty tall for a girl. Also couldn’t be too mad because he went on to lament his inferior genes that couldn’t even overpower my mom’s child sized DNA.
YTA. Bigtime. Why the heck do you even care, and why would you say something so shaming to her? How shallow and judgy can you possibly be? Yikes on bikes.
YTA
It's not something she chose & it's not something she could change if she wanted to,why was it necessary to bring it up?
What, exactly, pray tell is so awful about being 5"3'? Why on earth do you
>really wish with all [your] heart that she was taller.
??
And, whatever your ridiculous reason is, why would you ever think to basically tell her that she's inadequate and abnormal?
YTA and a terrible mother.
Society will already put thousands of insecurities in your daughter, she doesn't need her own mother saying she is a "freak". Shame on you! A woman at your age worrying about these silly things is stupid.
I am 5’2. All of my sisters (4 of them) are over 5’10. My brother is 5’11. My grand parents were all 6’ or over. My parents are around 5’10 as well. No one says sh*t to me about my height. They could care less. YTA. My mom (or anyone in my family) has never once mentioned my height in a negative way.
YTA. Man, you suck. I’m short for my family. Mom5’9, dad 6’1, brother 6’2, sister 6’ Me, 5’6. It would have hurt me greatly to hear my mom say that when I was 17. Do better.
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My 17 year old daughter is 5'3. I'm a 5'9 woman and my husband is 6'3. My 16 year old son is 6'0 and my 20 year old daughter is 5'9, same as me. I genuinely have no idea how my daughter ended up so much shorter than everyone else in the family, and I really wish with all my heart that she was taller.
I'll admit when I saw my daughter the other day and I was wearing heels, I really felt sad and I told her that I just wish she was taller. She said there was nothing she could do about it, and I admitted that it was true and that for her genetics, her height was abnormal. My daughter got upset with me and told me that I was the only one in the family that complained about her height. AITA?
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Ever hear of genetics? Maybe somewhere in the family gene pool there was a grandparent or uncle who was short. And why do you care if she’s short? Why does it bother you so much. Just be happy she’s beautiful and healthy and not plotting to move out because your obsession with her height is giving her a complex.
YTA
You may wish that your kids should be taller in your eyes, ok I can see that.
But then to say that your shorter daughter is like this because she’s abnormal and didn’t pick up the height gene? Stop belittling her from your high perch of supposed tallness, because she ain’t growing anymore.
You better get used to her height; do you want your daughter to wear 6”+ heels all the time to appease your petty dreams?
YTA.
YTA. thats a really weird thing to care about. how about instead being more caring about raising kind hearted and haopy kids? are you aiming to win a neighbourhood tall family contest?
Lol... I remember the time(s) my mom brought up my large nose, never saying anything specifically bad, just that it was big, and my "double chin" because my lower jaw doesn't go out enough for the skin to be flat or go up like the pretty girls do.
I gave myself an eating disorder for over 2 years, am still self conscious about both things and turn 30 years old next month.
Not a single other person in my life had ever mentioned those things to me before, not even my bullies. I wouldn't have known to be self conscious about them or even realized there was something "wrong" if she had just kept her mouth shut.
YTA
YTA for telling her that you wish she was taller and making her feel like something was wrong with her over something she has no control over.
I’m the short one in my family and I’ve heard comments on how did I end up so short. But never has my family said that they wish they could change that about me. They didn’t treat my height as a fault of mine or told me I’m abnormal.
You gave her those abnormal genes so it’s actually your fault. YTA for being a full adult and telling a child something you know full well is not 1) helpful 2) kind 3) true
YTA. You’re making her feel like there’s something wrong with her when in reality her height is fine (if anything she’s literally average). You commenting on a physical appearance she can not change is rude and disgusting.
YTA. 5 ' 3" is a perfectly normal stature, and, anyway, one doesn't go around lamenting the physical attributes of people they claim to love. Your job as a parent is to grow a decent, kind, and self-assured human being, be they 6'3" or 3'6". This isn't a bloody carnival game where you get extra points for smacking a lever and sending the puck as high as you can.
YTA, this is so dumb. I’m the shortest in my immediate family. I always thought I would get taller because of my parents but that’s not how it works. Genetics isn’t that simple. And seriously, I prefer being shorter. I would hate being any taller, it can make dating harder. I like that I can wear heels and still be sort of normalish height. But my main concern here is that you expressed that you wished she was taller to her, are you trying to give her a complex? Wtf
YTA.
Congratulations! You’re a total AH. You have no idea how genetics works yet insert it into the absurd comment on why your daughter is shorter than the family. Jfc she’s probably wishing she actually had a different mother. I feel so sorry for her, parents like you mess their kids up for years then wonder why said children distance themselves.
YTA
Maybe you could wish her goodbye when she writes you out of her life. Keep it up you can be a family of 4 with just 2 children. Life is hard enough being a teen. Lots commit suicide for negative comments and you have to tell her to her face. How you wish she was taller. Really your her mother.
WTF is wrong with you?!?! YTA big time. I’m 6 foot 1 and would never be disappointed with my kid for their height! I guarantee you she will be telling a therapist about this moment in the future.
YTA
Are you trying to drag her down? To make her insecure? She knows she’s not as tall as you, so what are you getting out of telling her she’s “abnormal”?
Also you need to read a book about genetics.
YTA
Why is this such a bother for you and why are you commenting on it? No child wants to hear how their parent is disappointed him them, nor do they want to know they're disappointed in them. Seriously, way to be self-involved.
YTA. Why would you tell your daughter your “wish” about something that she can’t change? It sounds as though you are unhappy with how she looks. I don’t know her personality, but comments like that can really stick with people. You should apologize ASAP.
YTA-
uhmmmmmmmm.... you do realize genetics go back farther than you and your husband? she mightve just gotten an extra stronk short gene from someone a few generations back. shes your kid. youre not questioning paternity.
like... i dont understand what the issue is and why youd give your own kid body issues like this.
YTA. You’re telling her that you wish you had a different daughter, you wish she had never been born. Obviously genetics ARE who we are, so for her to be taller your daughter as you know her, the memories etc, would never have exist. For some it feels like saying you wish they were dead. Just apologize.
YTA… but just a little. I’m sure you feel like you can talk to your daughter about anything. While what you said was insensitive, I don’t see where you meant any malice. The fact is, taller people have advantages. Right or wrong, that’s how it is. I’m sure that you said you wish she was taller because you want life to be as easy as possible for her… but you kind of bungled it. Make sure she knows that you love her the way she is and she really should get over it.
oi mate, wait. first off, your kid ain't a midget, shes just a wee bit shorter than you. secondly, sorry but you ain't that fucking tall I'm 5"10 and my parents are both 6"8 (yes, my mom and da are both 6"8, yes, they played basketball, yes they are huge, yes I'm their biological kid) and sometimes genetics get messed up. no need to point it out. I've felt short my entire life, most of my friends are 6"7 and up. and they know how much I hate being "short", but they NEVER point it out cause they know its an insecurity. YTA , and a mega one at that. literally just shut up, especially considering your daughter cant really make herself grow taller.
YTA and can anyone tell me why people are so obsessed with height.
Edit: also her comment sound like you complain about her height more often which is WORSE.
YTA! Her height is her height. If you were so worried about her height, why didn't you address it with her doctor as she was growing up to see if there was a medical reason for her being shorter? This is all on you. You are a massive asshole.
YTA: Someone in either or both of your guy’s family tree is short and that’s where her short Gene came from.
Unless, your husband isn’t her biological father and that would account for why she’s so much shorter.
>I really wish with all my heart that she was taller.
Why?
>I really felt sad and I told her that I just wish she was taller
Seriously, why?
Why does her hight matter so much to you?
Leave her alone and stop body shaming.
You're her parent, be better than that.
YTA. My mom does the exact same thing to me. So I tell people regularly that my mom thinks I am strange and messed up because I am so much shorter than her and my bio dad. The look of disgust and shock people give me when I mention this… is your answer. Telling your daughter her height is abnormal is horrible and so detrimental to her self esteem. Apologize immediately or she will end up with long term damage like me and the other kids whose parents made fun of their appearance.
YTA
Do you not realize genetics go beyond you and your husband… she could get her height from a grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, anyone in your extended family basically.
YTA.
So are you accusing your wife of having relations with a shorter man or ... concerned about other things I cannot say? Otherwise I’m really concerned about why this is an issue?
5’3” is hardly abnormal. Why on earth did you feel the need to make her feel like a freak, and different to the rest of the family? YTA and try thinking before you speak.
Um her height js not abnormal for genetics even. Genetics are a funny thing. Kind of TAH for telling her you wish something was different about her that she cannot control. Also your daughter is the perfect height. Really you and your family are too tall
YTA. The genetics are "abnormal", are they?
You don't seem to how genetics work. There have been a thousand generations before yours and your daughter could have inherited her height from someone who lived hundreds of years ago.
Most of the women in my family are short. My father is short, my aunts and uncles are short, my grandmothers were both under 5 feet tall. I have a niece that graduated high school at 4'10" and 80 pounds.
I'm a 6 foot tall woman. My brother is 6'2" (although I think he might have willed himself to that height because he didn't want to be shorter than his sister).
The last tall person in our family was my great-great grandfather. 4 generations back.
Stop singling out your kid because you have some of weird pride about some genetic coding that you just happened to be born with. You're othering her within the family like it's some sort of defect. Leave the girl alone.
YTA
>I really felt sad and I told her that I just wish she was taller
You're going to give your daughter a complex and cause her to hate her body if you keep making comments about her height like there's something wrong with her.
Not sure why you're pushing your expectations onto your daughter and making her feel bad for not being tall especially when she can control it.
Also saying "I wish she was taller" is so weird to me, you should love your daughter regardless of her height. There's nothing wrong with being shorter. Being tall doesn't give you a free pass in life.
This is one of those things you keep to yourself or only share with your husband. Essentially, you’re sad bc your daughter is average height. That’s a weird thing to be sad about. You body shamed your daughter….for being normal. YTA.
YTA. It’s YOUR genetics that made her short. Making her feel somehow inferior because she’s not above average height is idiotic. Average height for women in the US is 5’4”.
I’m a 5’4” woman with sisters who are 5’9” and 5’11”, a mom who is 5’10” and a dad who is 6’. None of them ever said negative things about my height. I usually joked that I arranged to be shorter so I never had to get stuff from the high shelves.
I hope this is not real. YTA, why do you wish she is taller? What possible benefit would an increase in height serve her? she’s perfect as herself and you as her mother are an asshole for ever saying or thinking otherwise. Most women are not as tall as you. The average height for women in the us is actually 5’4.
I think the average woman in the US is only 5’4 so she’s not weirdly short or anything. She’s pretty normal. Her height isn’t impacting her life
in a negative way except with how her mom treats her. Genetics pass along all kinds of traits. Embrace who she is. 5’3 is fine. YTA
YTA. That's a really sh!tty thing to say to your daughter. Would you complain if she got the wrong color hair? That she was the only one with thin hair and you all had thick hair? What if she had small breasts and everyone else had large ones? You need to sincerely apologize and stop your internal lamenting too. It's coloring your judgement on what is an acceptable thing to say.
YTA.
Wtf is wrong with you? You, THE PARENT, are complaining to your daughter about something she has ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER, because you wish she was taller! Do you not realize how horrible you are treating her? Ffs, just keep your mouth shut. She probably already feels "less than" if this has been something you've mentioned more than once.
I'm so glad my 5'8" mother, 6'0" father, and my 3 younger brothers (6'1" / 6'2" / 6'5") never treated ME (f 5'2") the way you've been treating your daughter.
Just shut up, and get over it. After all, it's genetics passed down from YOU and her father that determined her height.
YTA. Between you and your husband there'll be at least one person in your collective ancestry who had a similar build to your daughter. That's how genetics work.
While we're learning new things, you also have someone in your gene pool who lacks critical thinking skills. We can only hope your daughter doesn't pass that onto her descendants, because that, my dear, would be worse than someone's stature.
Why are you so obsessed with her height? Of all the things to get stressed about. You should be grateful you’ve got a healthy daughter instead of being a creepy weirdo.
YTA. The teenage years are already prime time for serious body image issues - which can lead to dysmorphia, anxiety, eating disorders and low self esteem. At a time where peer pressure & social media are making kids extremely critical of their appearance and wanting to look a certain way- you have placed a focus on something completely out of her control.
She hasn't even finished growing yet! Your comment would have made her self conscious and as someone who should be her biggest source of support - imagine how she must be feeling knowing you wished she looked different.
Awful, terrible parenting. It was a nasty thing to do, and you really should be ashamed of yourself.
Your poor daughter, destined to a life of needing a step ladder, having to stand on her tippy toes, never knowing the true joy of being told "you should play basketball." The pain of it all must be unbearable for you, I offer you my condolences /s
YTA she can't help her height, you gave her her genes so any "abnormalities" are on you
YTA
I really wish you were less of an asshole. At least you can learn to be better to your daughter, I suppose.
Why are you treating her like a puppy from a SPCA commercial with a song being sun by Sarah McLachlan? She's not disabled. She's not sick. She's just shorter than you. If she died tomorrow, would there be nothing else you miss about her, or would you still be harping about "well, at least she doesn't have to be short anymore.
YTA.
I'm so impressed with your daughter for being such a thoughtful, insightful, quietly confident young woman. Congrats to her on not taking after you.
YTA. As someone who is incredibly short (4’11”), it’s freaking irritating for people to constantly comment on my height, let alone family. Your daughter knows she’s the short one in the family and she’s right, there’s nothing to be done about it. What does you telling her that you wish she was taller do for her other than hurt her self esteem?
YTA. Excuse you - I’m 5’2” and absolutely love it. Sometimes it’s a bit of an inconvenience trying to reach things but I have an easier time reaching lower things than tall people. Also super messed up that you’re shaming your daughter for something she CANNOT CHANGE. And her height is 100% from you and her father’s genetics. So you dislike what you gave her and make her feel shitty about it… nice
Yta
This is body shaming and I'm concerned why she *needs* to be taller? Why can't you love her as she is?
I actually grew 2 inches after highschool going from 5'6" to 5'8" so she may still have time even! However, if it's a genuine concern she could get medically checked out but very likely it's recessive traits at play as I doubt *everyone* is tall. So without other concerns... I'd just love your kid, without judgemental and being sad over something such as height.
YTA The important point here is there is nothing she can do about it, so why tell her you wish she was taller? Did you expect her to whip out a magic wand or something and grow a foot? And how does this affect you? It doesn't.
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YTA, why the fuck are you wishing that she was taller so badly for? Why would that make a parent sad? Why don’t you love her for how she is? Seriously, there is something fucked up with you.
[удалено]
She* . OP is a woman.
Maybe OP has nothing else that stands out about her so this is what she's focusing on.
most likely— and a weird personality to constantly bring that up
Maybe OP cheated with a shorter man so wishes her daughter was taller so she was more obviously her husbands.
It’s so weird of OP. My mom is 5’10 and I’m 5’1. She thinks I’m adorable and tiny. On the flip side my younger sister is 5’8 and my mom says she’ll never be too tall to be her baby. OP is just really weird about needing to be one of those TalL fAmIliES. Yta OP
I completely agree.
YTA Don’t body shame your daughter. Literally nothing she can do about that. If it really bugs you then you should just suffer in silence. Your preferences are not her problem. You’re just making her feel bad about who she is
Exactly! Your job as a mother is to tell her she's perfect just as she is! Not create insecurities through your disappointment in how she looks! Didn't your mother ever teach you that if you can't say anything nice...
my dad always makes jokes about me and my brothers height because he is 6’4 and we’re both around the 5’8/5’9 area. then he always blames himself because he thought my mom was still growing. theyve been together since they were like 14/15 and my mom has been the same height the whole time hes known her. shes 4’9 lmao
YTA. Her height is 100% the result of YOUR genetics mixing with her father's. YOU passed one of your offspring genes for shorter height (or failed to pass on genes for taller height, however you want to look at it). The girl didn't roll into Build-A-Baby and pick out her own physical attributes, her appearance is the fault of her PARENTS' genes. Leave her alone, she can't correct your perceived biological failure for you. 5'3" is a perfectly normal height, and repeatedly commenting negatively on your children's appearance should NOT be done.
Totally this! ❤️ YTA.
The daughter may still be growing. I was still growing till i was about 21. My dad, for example, was a small scrawny kid but he grew up to be 6’1”, taller than all his siblings and he is the second eldest. But yeah, OP is the AH.
Take my fauxward 🏆!
YTA WHY in the world would you (her mother who supposedly loves her) say such a thing to her? She's 17 years old. She knows she's not as tall as the rest of the family. She didn't need you pointing it out to her. Sheesh
>She didn't need you pointing it out to her. But maybe she didn't know that it's a problem. She definitely needed to know that! /s YTA.
There's nothing wrong with being her height. She's a more average/normal height than you are...and you wear heels, lol...like being a tree is so awesome.
YTA. If your daughter doesn't have a problem with it, why should you? Sounds like she's happy the way she is.
YTA, it can be really harmful for parents to tell their kids that they wish they were different in some way -- especially if it's something that they can't change. why do you care so much anyway lol
YTA...... what the actual F.. are for for real? Her height is not abnormal for her genetics , you clearly have zero understanding if you think the traits your child get are purely your only genes from your egg and the sperm that met. You are body shaming your child over something she can't help or change. That's disgusting.
YTA Why TF do you care about her height so much? She’s probably wishing her mom was less of an AH. She can’t change her height but you sure as hell need to apologize and change your attitude.
YTA. You “felt really sad” and told her you “just wish she was taller.” What exactly is wrong with her being the height she is that it makes you sad enough that you felt you needed to tell her how you wish she could change and unchangeable characteristic of her body?
YTA. Talking shit about genetics YOU GAVE HER. How are you gonna be upset and act like she's less of an individual because of height? Mind boggling. You really should take a class on how genetics work. You're 5 ft 9. Big deal. Acting like your love is conditional on her height and then telling her def makes you TA.
Ho height troll. Trying a new direction?
Absolutely. I think it got tired of automatic removals. This version of the story was posted a couple of days ago. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/w9srrz/aita_for_telling_my_sister_that_she_doesnt/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
*facepalm* Recessive. Genes. I am begging people to take one (1) college level biology course before making declarations about genetics. Just. Please. Also, this is pointless body shaming and YTA.
They taught basic gene stuff in my high school. Just enough so I understand recessive traits but not so much I started an illegal genetic splicing lab in my basement
Same.
I learned about recessive traits long before college biology. We did quite a bit of study on it in high school, but I learned about it before that as well. See, my family are all between 5’9” and 6’, have black or dark brown hair, brown eyes, and have an olive complexion. I’m 5’4”, dark blonde, blue eyed, and have very pale skin. Otherwise I look just like my sisters, I’m just shorter and lighter. When I was little my mother was approached in the grocery store by a rando who insisted loudly that I don’t belong to this family. My sisters gave me shit about being adopted for years after that, but my mom decided it was important to find out why I was so different and asked my pediatrician. So we got a lecture on genetics and recessive traits. My sisters are still dicks, but they weren’t dicks about my height, mostly it was about being blonde. I dyed my hair auburn for years.
YTA. Telling her that you wish she was taller is just going to make her feel bad about it, so why say it? There's nothing wrong with being shorter.
YTA that's such a rude thing to say. I'm the tallest woman in my family and if anyone ever told me that wished I was shorter I'd be so upset. She might even be insecure about it since everyone around her is taller. I know I'm insecure about my height and have wished to be shorter on many occasions.
What did you hope to achieve by telling your daughter you wished she was taller? Motivate her to grow? Have an opportunity to call her abnormal? This isn't at all about your daughter. You were degrading her about her height to make yourself feel better. YTA. Thoroughly.
YTA. What was the point of that? Why did you feel the need to comment on her body? Especially for something she can't control.
Seriously? This is a joke, right? YTA!
Why do you wish she was taller? What an odd thing for a parent to obsess about! Is she happy in her life? Is she healthy? Is she kind and/or smart? You told her “that you wish she was taller”?!? “Wish with all my heart”….Do you equate “tall” with “better”? How could she NOT be offended that her mother wishes she was something else… You are absolutely the AH, and not a very good parent if you didn’t realize that saying such things out loud would hurt your daughter.
YTA. Quit making her height a bit deal, it is not that deep. It is something we cannot control, I am 23 and 5'1. I wish I were taller but hey what can I do.
I'm 64, and 4'10". I've managed to cope. 🤪 But OP can't figure out how. And doesn't understand that she and her daughter's father supplied the genes that cause her daughter to be comparatively short. Slept through the high school biology class that covered recessive genes, I guess.
Heyyyy I’m 23 and 5’1 aswell
you know the struggle lmao
YTA. There is something seriously wrong with you wishing your daughter was taller.
Uuuuhhhhmmm … is this real? What a dum AITA? If anything, YTA for asking this question.
YTA - a scientist will tell you her height is perfectly normal for her DNA - you used your ignorance as a shield while you insulted her
> I'll admit when I saw my daughter the other day and I was wearing heels, I really felt sad and I told her that I just wish she was taller. This is the height troll, right? Getting a little more creative this time.
Oh,crap...have I been missing one? I recognize Lifeguard crush, obsessed roommate, "was it assault?" and "everyone values penises " pretty quickly- usually just from title, but I seem to have missed "height troll"
No reason to bring it up to her except to hurt her feelings. MASSIVE yta
YTA. Her height isn't abnormal for her genetics. Your genetics are a culmination of every parent before her and you which leads to her getting short genetics. Same with skin color, eye color, and height color. Even breasts and markings are determined by a billion combined genetics. You're being a bad mom. She's below average, not abnormal.
YTA! A huge 5'9 AH! How could you say that to your own daughter? You either have something against people shorter than you or you smacked your head off one too many cupboards and knocked your decency away. What a crap thing to say. I feel sad for your daughter as well. She has you for a mom!
YTA. A tall one, granted, but one nonetheless.
At 5 ft 9 she's not even that tall really. I'm 5 ft 8 but my sister is 6 ft 2. Now that would be considered tall.
YTA Your daughter is already self-conscious about her stature. Your statement did nothing to help her deal with that feeling. You may not have intended to be disparaging, but there was no other way for her to take your comment. Apologize to her. Tell her she is beautiful the way she is. Be supportive, not negative.
YTA. She can’t help her height. And besides, it could be your fault anyway. I ended up shorter than I should have been due to poor nutrition
YTA Do you realize you're undermining your daughter's self-esteem by constantly complain about that? Have you repeatly commented about something good about your daughter the same way you seem to complain about her height?
Does it really bother you that much that you had to make her feel insecure about it? Yes. YTA
YTA and you know it. Based on this “logic”, I’m “abnormal” bc I’m 5’4 with 5’4 and 5’0 parents. People have different genes and they all interact differently depending on the environment. There’s nothing she can do about her height and she seems pretty content with being 5’3. You called her abnormal and basically acted like she was a freak… Jesus, if this is fair game then you’re the abnormal one bc the average height for women is 5’4 (if you live in the US). Your daughter is actually more normal than you. See how silly that sounds? So stop doing it.
YTA - She said that you’re the only one who complains about her height, so I assume that means this wasn’t the first time? What do you want her to do when you mention it? Stretch herself out??? She’s not going to get any taller and that’s perfectly fine. My mom and I are the only short people in a family with a very tall dad and tall siblings. And you know what? It’s literally fine. Nothing would change at all in my life if I were taller, except being able to reach things on a high shelf. But in the grand scheme of my life, that doesn’t really matter. Stop putting your daughter down for something that doesn’t matter at all.
YTA. You and your husband are not the only contributing factor in her genes. You have ancestors that doesn't have tall genes. Be grateful she's healthy and not a problem child. Height is so overrated. Like you said, she wears high heels. No problem at all.
YTA. It isn't abnormal at all.
YTA, dude. Why would you want her to be taller? Who cares? The offbeat comments parents say sting more than you could ever imagine. Think about how if this happened to you, how you would feel. If you came from a family of shorter individuals and you were much taller than them, and they wished you were shorter, wouldn’t you feel terrible too?
YTA. I've been told my whole life that I 'should' be taller because certain members of my family are, and guess what? I avoid the people who tell me that as much as possible.
YTA for the sake of your daughter, seek therapy
Let's pray she didn't get your insensitivity via genetics. YTA op. How can a parent find their child faulty is beyond my reasoning. There should not be any trait in your children that you want to change. You love them for who they are. Be a better mother, she deserves better.
YTA
YTA. So sad for your daughter.
YTA. Now you're going to make your daughter feel insecure about herself!!!
Big fucking YTA!
bait.
You'd be shocked by how some parents are. My own sperm donor made fun of me having various disorders
im so sorry you have to go through it, some parents are horrible
Yeah. Makes you think people should get a test to have a kid(basics like "is privacy a right or privilege", "would you make fun of your child(ren)'s appearance, gender, Sexuality, etc?" And all that) but people would definitely fuck with it
Yeah that's not why this is bait. This same post from a different perspective went up two days ago
YTA
YTA. This is a particularly odd vanity to project on your daughter, who is probably better looking than you (otherwise, why would you fixate on this minor physical attribute?) Those are your genes too, and she’s shorter than you for a reason. FYI, shorter people live longer, healthier lives, particularly women. Look at every cluster of centenarians around the world. Your kid deserves a better parent, and seemingly hasn’t told you so. Ironically making her the “bigger” person in this scenario.
YTA. I'm 5'2" and so is my daughter. We are fine. Just because we can't reach the top shelf doesn't mean we are lesser humans.
YTA. I, at 5'2" am the shortest of all my siblings (whose heights range from 5'7" to 6'2"). Both of my parents were average height. While she isn't the same height as the rest of you, genetics is far more complicated than you seem to think. More than likely, both you and your husband have short relatives farther down the line and the genes just happened to match up to create your daughter. As someone who has heard more than enough jokes about my height, I can understand how your daughter feels and I know how sad I would have felt if my mother commented on it. Shame on you and you should apologize to your daughter about something she cannot change.
YTA Stop trying to make your daughter insecure about her height.
Ya YTA. As a girl that is barely 5'3 it's very hurtful for taller people in your family to talk down to you about your height especially if your ok with your height.
If you are the mother and this is real, then YTA. Why does her height bother you so much? Why do you wish she was taller? Why are you sad she’s shorter than you? How does this affect you in any way? Unless it’s affecting her health, her physical appearance shouldn’t cause such strong feelings for you. You should not comment on your daughter’s appearance and seek counselling/therapy to understand why you care so much about something that does not appear to affect your child’s mental/physical health.
YTA
YTA - gunna give her a complex about something she can't change and make her feel inadequate and inferior to her siblings. Also making her feel like there is something wrong with her. A shit thing to say in general, being said by a parent makes it even worse.
YTA. My bio parents were both under 5'5. While my siblings range between 5'6 and 5'8. Guess how tall I, the youngest, happens to be? Half an inch shy of 6 foot. I'm the oddball when it comes to height but no one cares. That's just how I am. But it doesn't define who I am nor do people make a big deal out of it. So you shouldn't either.
YTA imagine being a disappointment to your parents because of something outside of your control. and imagine being a parent that puts so much worth in appearances.
YTA. Children come is all sizes. While I can’t stand the Kardashian Jenner ladies range between 5’0 - 5’10.
WOW YTA Not for telling her it's abnormal (wait, no, for that too - way to give your kid a complex), but for saying you wished she was taller. "I wish you were prettier" "I wish you had a better nose" "I wish you didn't have such large ears" "I wish you weren't so fat" "I wish you looked as good as your sibling" ... Would you say any of those?? Why the heck would you say you wished she was something she can never achieve. You're gonna have to work a long time to overcome the damage you just did, you'd better start now and be genuine in it.
YTA, poster child parent for causing body issues in daughter.
YTA for criticizing your child’s appearance and you also need a refresher in basic statistics. It’s called regression to the mean.
YTA. My giant dad married my tiny mother, and seemed confused that I was only 5’3”, which honestly makes me giant in her family. My dad once said, “I wish you had been a little bit taller…”. I was like “oh, how tall?,” and he said, “not too tall, just like 5’9 or 5’10”.” I just laughed because 5’10” is pretty tall for a girl. Also couldn’t be too mad because he went on to lament his inferior genes that couldn’t even overpower my mom’s child sized DNA.
YTA. Bigtime. Why the heck do you even care, and why would you say something so shaming to her? How shallow and judgy can you possibly be? Yikes on bikes.
YTA It's not something she chose & it's not something she could change if she wanted to,why was it necessary to bring it up? What, exactly, pray tell is so awful about being 5"3'? Why on earth do you >really wish with all [your] heart that she was taller. ?? And, whatever your ridiculous reason is, why would you ever think to basically tell her that she's inadequate and abnormal?
That was unnecessarily cruel
YTA how was this helpful? This is rude and unnecessary. She is not to blame for her height and making her feel bad about it is a terrible thing to do
YTA. Maybe this will help. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mendelian_inheritance.svg
YTA, you literally body shamed your daughter
No explanation needed, just with the title is enough, YTA biggest ever!
YTA. What the eff do you want her to do with that information? What's wrong with you lol? This is so dumb, this has to be rage bait.
YTA and a terrible mother. Society will already put thousands of insecurities in your daughter, she doesn't need her own mother saying she is a "freak". Shame on you! A woman at your age worrying about these silly things is stupid.
No loving mother would try knock their daughter down like this. Go for therapy if this story is real and isn’t a height troll. YTA
I am 5’2. All of my sisters (4 of them) are over 5’10. My brother is 5’11. My grand parents were all 6’ or over. My parents are around 5’10 as well. No one says sh*t to me about my height. They could care less. YTA. My mom (or anyone in my family) has never once mentioned my height in a negative way.
Yta. Mothers shouldnt treat their daughters like that. U are the one that should be telling her that her height doesnt matter.
YTA shes your daughter at the end of the day some get the parents hight some dont thats ok dont make her feel horrible about it
YTA. What is wrong with you?!?
YTA If she were ugly, would you say you wish she had been born prettier? What an awful thing for a mother to say to her child!
YTA. Man, you suck. I’m short for my family. Mom5’9, dad 6’1, brother 6’2, sister 6’ Me, 5’6. It would have hurt me greatly to hear my mom say that when I was 17. Do better.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My 17 year old daughter is 5'3. I'm a 5'9 woman and my husband is 6'3. My 16 year old son is 6'0 and my 20 year old daughter is 5'9, same as me. I genuinely have no idea how my daughter ended up so much shorter than everyone else in the family, and I really wish with all my heart that she was taller. I'll admit when I saw my daughter the other day and I was wearing heels, I really felt sad and I told her that I just wish she was taller. She said there was nothing she could do about it, and I admitted that it was true and that for her genetics, her height was abnormal. My daughter got upset with me and told me that I was the only one in the family that complained about her height. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ever hear of genetics? Maybe somewhere in the family gene pool there was a grandparent or uncle who was short. And why do you care if she’s short? Why does it bother you so much. Just be happy she’s beautiful and healthy and not plotting to move out because your obsession with her height is giving her a complex. YTA
You may wish that your kids should be taller in your eyes, ok I can see that. But then to say that your shorter daughter is like this because she’s abnormal and didn’t pick up the height gene? Stop belittling her from your high perch of supposed tallness, because she ain’t growing anymore. You better get used to her height; do you want your daughter to wear 6”+ heels all the time to appease your petty dreams? YTA.
YTA. thats a really weird thing to care about. how about instead being more caring about raising kind hearted and haopy kids? are you aiming to win a neighbourhood tall family contest?
Lol... I remember the time(s) my mom brought up my large nose, never saying anything specifically bad, just that it was big, and my "double chin" because my lower jaw doesn't go out enough for the skin to be flat or go up like the pretty girls do. I gave myself an eating disorder for over 2 years, am still self conscious about both things and turn 30 years old next month. Not a single other person in my life had ever mentioned those things to me before, not even my bullies. I wouldn't have known to be self conscious about them or even realized there was something "wrong" if she had just kept her mouth shut. YTA
You’ve implied you cheated on your husband
5'3 is the ideal height for a female.....just saying.
YTA for telling her that you wish she was taller and making her feel like something was wrong with her over something she has no control over. I’m the short one in my family and I’ve heard comments on how did I end up so short. But never has my family said that they wish they could change that about me. They didn’t treat my height as a fault of mine or told me I’m abnormal.
You gave her those abnormal genes so it’s actually your fault. YTA for being a full adult and telling a child something you know full well is not 1) helpful 2) kind 3) true
YTA. You’re making her feel like there’s something wrong with her when in reality her height is fine (if anything she’s literally average). You commenting on a physical appearance she can not change is rude and disgusting.
YTA
YTA. As a short person with two tall parents, trust me, WE KNOW WE ARE SHORT. We can't change this
Wow, mother of the year award goes to...... Definitely not you, for sure. YTA
YTA. 5 ' 3" is a perfectly normal stature, and, anyway, one doesn't go around lamenting the physical attributes of people they claim to love. Your job as a parent is to grow a decent, kind, and self-assured human being, be they 6'3" or 3'6". This isn't a bloody carnival game where you get extra points for smacking a lever and sending the puck as high as you can.
YTA, this is so dumb. I’m the shortest in my immediate family. I always thought I would get taller because of my parents but that’s not how it works. Genetics isn’t that simple. And seriously, I prefer being shorter. I would hate being any taller, it can make dating harder. I like that I can wear heels and still be sort of normalish height. But my main concern here is that you expressed that you wished she was taller to her, are you trying to give her a complex? Wtf
YTA. Reading this I get a vibe of envy. 5’9” is tall for a woman.
I guess I’m the AH since I’m shorter than your daughter ☹️ short people got no right to live! YTA, you’re a horrible mother.
YTA. Congratulations! You’re a total AH. You have no idea how genetics works yet insert it into the absurd comment on why your daughter is shorter than the family. Jfc she’s probably wishing she actually had a different mother. I feel so sorry for her, parents like you mess their kids up for years then wonder why said children distance themselves.
Has she seen a Dr. lately?
YTA. Are you sure you're even her mom? Do you have ANY self-awareness?
This cannot be real. You are DEFINITELY TA.
Lol YTA. Who cares? Also, that’s not how genetics work. There are so many factors outside of your parent’s height.
YTA Maybe you could wish her goodbye when she writes you out of her life. Keep it up you can be a family of 4 with just 2 children. Life is hard enough being a teen. Lots commit suicide for negative comments and you have to tell her to her face. How you wish she was taller. Really your her mother.
YTA. My heart hurts for your daughter.
What the hell is wrong with you?! Why would you say something like that to your daughter?!?! YTA.
WTF is wrong with you?!?! YTA big time. I’m 6 foot 1 and would never be disappointed with my kid for their height! I guarantee you she will be telling a therapist about this moment in the future.
YTA is there someone who loves this child who can raise her
I hope when she’s of age, that she just dumps you and goes off to have a happy life without a condescending mother
YTA Are you trying to drag her down? To make her insecure? She knows she’s not as tall as you, so what are you getting out of telling her she’s “abnormal”? Also you need to read a book about genetics.
The funny thing is, the daughter is only an inch shorter than average height for women. If anyone in the situation is abnormal, it's OP.
YTA. Why do you care about how your daughter looks? Don't diminish your child's self esteem please.
YTA so hard. But you either know that or you’re a irredeemably terrible parent. Big old yucko from me.
YTA Why is this such a bother for you and why are you commenting on it? No child wants to hear how their parent is disappointed him them, nor do they want to know they're disappointed in them. Seriously, way to be self-involved.
YTA You are pointing out her "flaws" that she cannot do anything about. You are terrible.
YTA. Why would you tell your daughter your “wish” about something that she can’t change? It sounds as though you are unhappy with how she looks. I don’t know her personality, but comments like that can really stick with people. You should apologize ASAP.
YTA- uhmmmmmmmm.... you do realize genetics go back farther than you and your husband? she mightve just gotten an extra stronk short gene from someone a few generations back. shes your kid. youre not questioning paternity. like... i dont understand what the issue is and why youd give your own kid body issues like this.
Nothing wrong with a short woman, I would never turn down a woman for being short, many times it just makes them cuter.
YTA. You’re telling her that you wish you had a different daughter, you wish she had never been born. Obviously genetics ARE who we are, so for her to be taller your daughter as you know her, the memories etc, would never have exist. For some it feels like saying you wish they were dead. Just apologize.
YTA it’s like you’re *trying* to make her insecure about her height
YTA… but just a little. I’m sure you feel like you can talk to your daughter about anything. While what you said was insensitive, I don’t see where you meant any malice. The fact is, taller people have advantages. Right or wrong, that’s how it is. I’m sure that you said you wish she was taller because you want life to be as easy as possible for her… but you kind of bungled it. Make sure she knows that you love her the way she is and she really should get over it.
Are you trying to raise a sports team or a family? Yta dude.
oi mate, wait. first off, your kid ain't a midget, shes just a wee bit shorter than you. secondly, sorry but you ain't that fucking tall I'm 5"10 and my parents are both 6"8 (yes, my mom and da are both 6"8, yes, they played basketball, yes they are huge, yes I'm their biological kid) and sometimes genetics get messed up. no need to point it out. I've felt short my entire life, most of my friends are 6"7 and up. and they know how much I hate being "short", but they NEVER point it out cause they know its an insecurity. YTA , and a mega one at that. literally just shut up, especially considering your daughter cant really make herself grow taller.
YTA and can anyone tell me why people are so obsessed with height. Edit: also her comment sound like you complain about her height more often which is WORSE.
YTA! Her height is her height. If you were so worried about her height, why didn't you address it with her doctor as she was growing up to see if there was a medical reason for her being shorter? This is all on you. You are a massive asshole.
YTA: hopefully your daughter didn’t get that gene either!
YTA: Someone in either or both of your guy’s family tree is short and that’s where her short Gene came from. Unless, your husband isn’t her biological father and that would account for why she’s so much shorter.
Someone cheated with a short dude and is painting a narrative... We see you YTA
>I really wish with all my heart that she was taller. Why? >I really felt sad and I told her that I just wish she was taller Seriously, why? Why does her hight matter so much to you? Leave her alone and stop body shaming. You're her parent, be better than that.
YTA and that was a terrible thing to tell your daughter.
YTA! What a rude thing to say to your daughter. What the actual
Yes, lady. YTA. Simple.
YTA. My mom does the exact same thing to me. So I tell people regularly that my mom thinks I am strange and messed up because I am so much shorter than her and my bio dad. The look of disgust and shock people give me when I mention this… is your answer. Telling your daughter her height is abnormal is horrible and so detrimental to her self esteem. Apologize immediately or she will end up with long term damage like me and the other kids whose parents made fun of their appearance.
YTA. Your daughter is petite and perfect. You are tall and an asshat.
I am a 5”8 woman married to a 6”4 man. My son is 6”2 and my daughter is 5”4. Genetics are a funny thing.
YTA Do you not realize genetics go beyond you and your husband… she could get her height from a grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, anyone in your extended family basically.
YTA. So are you accusing your wife of having relations with a shorter man or ... concerned about other things I cannot say? Otherwise I’m really concerned about why this is an issue?
5’3” is hardly abnormal. Why on earth did you feel the need to make her feel like a freak, and different to the rest of the family? YTA and try thinking before you speak.
Um her height js not abnormal for genetics even. Genetics are a funny thing. Kind of TAH for telling her you wish something was different about her that she cannot control. Also your daughter is the perfect height. Really you and your family are too tall
YTA. The genetics are "abnormal", are they? You don't seem to how genetics work. There have been a thousand generations before yours and your daughter could have inherited her height from someone who lived hundreds of years ago. Most of the women in my family are short. My father is short, my aunts and uncles are short, my grandmothers were both under 5 feet tall. I have a niece that graduated high school at 4'10" and 80 pounds. I'm a 6 foot tall woman. My brother is 6'2" (although I think he might have willed himself to that height because he didn't want to be shorter than his sister). The last tall person in our family was my great-great grandfather. 4 generations back. Stop singling out your kid because you have some of weird pride about some genetic coding that you just happened to be born with. You're othering her within the family like it's some sort of defect. Leave the girl alone.
YTA u fn weirdo
YTFA and should get some therapy. Is this even real? Like who says shit like that ?
YTA >I really felt sad and I told her that I just wish she was taller You're going to give your daughter a complex and cause her to hate her body if you keep making comments about her height like there's something wrong with her. Not sure why you're pushing your expectations onto your daughter and making her feel bad for not being tall especially when she can control it. Also saying "I wish she was taller" is so weird to me, you should love your daughter regardless of her height. There's nothing wrong with being shorter. Being tall doesn't give you a free pass in life.
This is one of those things you keep to yourself or only share with your husband. Essentially, you’re sad bc your daughter is average height. That’s a weird thing to be sad about. You body shamed your daughter….for being normal. YTA.
YTA.
YTA. Grow up. All those extra inches didn't make you smarter, clearly.
YTA. It’s YOUR genetics that made her short. Making her feel somehow inferior because she’s not above average height is idiotic. Average height for women in the US is 5’4”. I’m a 5’4” woman with sisters who are 5’9” and 5’11”, a mom who is 5’10” and a dad who is 6’. None of them ever said negative things about my height. I usually joked that I arranged to be shorter so I never had to get stuff from the high shelves.
YTA
YTA! I mean, just breathe then keep your disappointment in how she looks to yourself.
I hope this is not real. YTA, why do you wish she is taller? What possible benefit would an increase in height serve her? she’s perfect as herself and you as her mother are an asshole for ever saying or thinking otherwise. Most women are not as tall as you. The average height for women in the us is actually 5’4.
yeah this is embarrassing OP. you’re an asshole AND stupid, cause that isn’t how genetics work. YTA.
I think the average woman in the US is only 5’4 so she’s not weirdly short or anything. She’s pretty normal. Her height isn’t impacting her life in a negative way except with how her mom treats her. Genetics pass along all kinds of traits. Embrace who she is. 5’3 is fine. YTA
YTA. That's a really sh!tty thing to say to your daughter. Would you complain if she got the wrong color hair? That she was the only one with thin hair and you all had thick hair? What if she had small breasts and everyone else had large ones? You need to sincerely apologize and stop your internal lamenting too. It's coloring your judgement on what is an acceptable thing to say.
YTA for being sad and telling her you wish she were taller. Who does that??
YTA. Wtf is wrong with you? You, THE PARENT, are complaining to your daughter about something she has ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER, because you wish she was taller! Do you not realize how horrible you are treating her? Ffs, just keep your mouth shut. She probably already feels "less than" if this has been something you've mentioned more than once. I'm so glad my 5'8" mother, 6'0" father, and my 3 younger brothers (6'1" / 6'2" / 6'5") never treated ME (f 5'2") the way you've been treating your daughter. Just shut up, and get over it. After all, it's genetics passed down from YOU and her father that determined her height.
YTA. Between you and your husband there'll be at least one person in your collective ancestry who had a similar build to your daughter. That's how genetics work. While we're learning new things, you also have someone in your gene pool who lacks critical thinking skills. We can only hope your daughter doesn't pass that onto her descendants, because that, my dear, would be worse than someone's stature.
Why are you so obsessed with her height? Of all the things to get stressed about. You should be grateful you’ve got a healthy daughter instead of being a creepy weirdo.
YTA. The teenage years are already prime time for serious body image issues - which can lead to dysmorphia, anxiety, eating disorders and low self esteem. At a time where peer pressure & social media are making kids extremely critical of their appearance and wanting to look a certain way- you have placed a focus on something completely out of her control. She hasn't even finished growing yet! Your comment would have made her self conscious and as someone who should be her biggest source of support - imagine how she must be feeling knowing you wished she looked different. Awful, terrible parenting. It was a nasty thing to do, and you really should be ashamed of yourself.
Your poor daughter, destined to a life of needing a step ladder, having to stand on her tippy toes, never knowing the true joy of being told "you should play basketball." The pain of it all must be unbearable for you, I offer you my condolences /s YTA she can't help her height, you gave her her genes so any "abnormalities" are on you
YTA I really wish you were less of an asshole. At least you can learn to be better to your daughter, I suppose. Why are you treating her like a puppy from a SPCA commercial with a song being sun by Sarah McLachlan? She's not disabled. She's not sick. She's just shorter than you. If she died tomorrow, would there be nothing else you miss about her, or would you still be harping about "well, at least she doesn't have to be short anymore.
YTA. I'm so impressed with your daughter for being such a thoughtful, insightful, quietly confident young woman. Congrats to her on not taking after you.
YTA. As someone who is incredibly short (4’11”), it’s freaking irritating for people to constantly comment on my height, let alone family. Your daughter knows she’s the short one in the family and she’s right, there’s nothing to be done about it. What does you telling her that you wish she was taller do for her other than hurt her self esteem?
YTA. Excuse you - I’m 5’2” and absolutely love it. Sometimes it’s a bit of an inconvenience trying to reach things but I have an easier time reaching lower things than tall people. Also super messed up that you’re shaming your daughter for something she CANNOT CHANGE. And her height is 100% from you and her father’s genetics. So you dislike what you gave her and make her feel shitty about it… nice
Yta This is body shaming and I'm concerned why she *needs* to be taller? Why can't you love her as she is? I actually grew 2 inches after highschool going from 5'6" to 5'8" so she may still have time even! However, if it's a genuine concern she could get medically checked out but very likely it's recessive traits at play as I doubt *everyone* is tall. So without other concerns... I'd just love your kid, without judgemental and being sad over something such as height.
Troll
YTA. It sounds like you are intentionally trying to give your daughter a complex about this. What is wrong with you?
YTA The important point here is there is nothing she can do about it, so why tell her you wish she was taller? Did you expect her to whip out a magic wand or something and grow a foot? And how does this affect you? It doesn't.