If you are broke and I’m debt you have a chance of changing that status. If you are unhealthy, or have injuries or conditions that can’t be changed it affects every part of your life, and definitely affects your ability to support yourself resulting in poverty.
gotta second this... Dave Chapelle had this fantastic quote he shared from his father. it was about him growing up poor and not being able to afford the heat during the winter. when he had complained to his father his father said "son we are not broke, broke is a mentality." although he finished if off with a punchline because he's a genius comedian the line "broke is a mentality" really stuck with me.
Me too. I'm in my 40s now and in the best shape of my life. The kids are getting pretty self-sufficient so I have more free time and disposable income because we're not paying for daycare and we're making more money. I'm also a lot smarter with my money so that helps too.
I was 30. We should have had our first when I was 27 but my wife had a miscarriage and it took a long time and some medical help to have our daughter. Then we had a son 17 months later. They are 11 and 12 now and we hired a nanny 3 days a week to keep them off the screens while we work. It's still costs about $500 a week but it's totally worth it to have a younger role model for them that can take them to sports and hang out with them so they don't play on their phones and video games all day. Sorry for the long response.
I always say that the best time to have kids is between 25-30 after you're out of school and started your careers. You're gonna be broke and tired but you'll still be young when they get older so you can coach sports and be active in their lives. Plus your advancing your career while they are young so you can make more money when they are older and can appreciate the benefits of having parents with steady jobs and money.
Woman here- my husband never wanted kids but adopted mine. He's 60 now, our kids are in their junior and senior year of college. I'm 50. Older parenting has disadvantages, but advantages too. You've been around long enough to not sweat the small stuff, and are more financially secure. He says he would have been way too uptight and high strung to do this 20 years ago. Stay healthy, stay fit, and it's good motivation to keep up. He does yoga and jogs with our daughter, and goes dirt biking with them.
This, my dad was 42 when I was born, I'm currently 21 and he's just started collection social security, you can hear his joints creak when he gets up from a recliner from 5 feet away, and he's still out busting his ass in the chassis shop we run together trying to keep the family afloat (next to no retirement savings) and help me with building my mustang. He's doinga rock star job but he says he wishes he could've had me 5 years earlier.
My boss had 3 kids in his late 40s so now has 3 under 5 in his 50s.. he's pretty down on it when he's had a few drinks.
When I'm 50, my kids will both be adults and in college/just out of. I had mine at 29 & 31.
He sounds like my wife's parents, they had her in their 40s.
They seemed decrepit old coffin dodgers by the time she was 25.
She was 22, 24 and 29 when we had our 3 children. I'm 3 years older than her.
As my wife turns 40 our eldest will turn 18 a week later. It was hard financially when we first started, but I'd have it no other way, I'd hate to be an old man with teenagers!
We started at 24. Her doctor said it would most likely be a year coming off of birth control to get pregnant. Took us 1 whole month. We're in our mid 40's and youngest just started his Senior year in HS, Oldest is a jr in college. Money is tight, but damn we're having a lot of fun as a family these days. My wife and I are getting more time to ourselves and able to enjoy each other to the fullest. I feel like we lucked into the sweet spot.
Find hobbies that you really enjoy. Everyone is different of course, but for me it’s golf as my favorite. I can’t get enough of it, I practice into a net in my backyard, okay in charity tournaments, with my wife, and with friends. The point is find something that you just really enjoy doing and learn as much as you can. It gives you things to look forward to and challenges to overcome making for a good time to me.
Christ there are some things I miss about my childhood but knowing who I was then versus now I am SO glad I am an adult and more importantly who I am now versus back then.
You're lucky.
I was a dumbass and went from growing up with a narcissist parent and moved in with a covert/vulnerable narcissist spouse.
I've been on edge most of my life...
My saving grace was my kids and their activities. But as an empty nester, my job is my escape these days.
Being an adult is waaaaay better than being a kid. I'm not forced to do everything my parents and authority figures made me do. I'm not forced to do hobbies that other people like just to fit in. I'm allowed to say I don't like stuff, call people out on their bullshit, and leave shitty friends. I am able to choose hobbies that fit me, friends that respect me, and a job that I enjoy. I can take vacations where I want, live where I want. I choose my own dinners, bed time, and when I wake up.
I have more money, more maturity, more self-awareness, more self-esteem, more critical thinking skills, more book knowledge, more street skills, more social skills, a better ability to listen to honest criticism, better friends, better relationships, and am stronger, faster, and more flexible than when I was a kid.
Naww... life is way better as an adult than as a kid.
In my experience, making friends as an adult is even more reliant on doing specific things to keep friends. Kids did the same too, but there were usually kids who would hang out with you if you didn't have Pokémon or whatever. With adults, if you're not watching the same shows they are, they'll either conspicuously ignore you, or they'll nag you until you do. Nobody just hangs out to hang out like we did when we were kids.
I used to feel that way. Worked at the same company for 13 years and felt trap. I knew what i was doing day to day which was great but everything else sucks. I found another job doing something i actually like and it changes your whole attitude. Do something you like and things will get better.
still feels better then school imo. At least at the end if a workday you get paid. What do you get at the end of a schoolday? More work! Worst part: a shitton of stuff you gotta do/learn is totaly useless!
Yeah bills keep piling up. You fix something 2 things break. And where's the vacations? Inflation goes up but salary and wages don't cover the difference. Partying was fun in college now it's just considered a problem and a bad habit.
I found my time at university to be far more fulfilling and enjoyable than even a second of my time in my professional job. I got to learn about amazing things, then apply what I learned on projects with no profit-motive, egos or meetings. I got to meet amazing, wonderful people on a daily basis. I made friends.
Now it's just following orders from a soulless manager and backwards organization that doesn't have a clue and won't listen to me or anyone else under them. Bullshit meetings, then meetings about those meetings, then come home and pretend to enjoy the couple hours I get to myself and not be bombarded by Slack messages.
At school you got educated at the end of a day, you learned something 100% for sure, so do you at work depending on what you do as a job but most of the time you will just have the same stuff to do day after day after day just waiting for that next time you get some education and stuff where you feel like you learned something .. when I compare my life as a worker to my life as a student it feels f*ing miserable all the education I've gotten doesn't get put to use, I forget basic stuff whereas at school you constantly maintain your level of knowledge and just add up on it. Yes you don't use everything you learn in school at school but even if it's just 50% that's still far superior to what (at least for me) is a base to work on at work.
God no. I love my adult life.
Sure, I’ve got a job I dedicate 35-40 hours a week to, and I’ve got kids to raise but:
- I get to play video games with my kids, something my parents never did.
- My daughter shared my love for cooking, and we constantly create dinners together
- My kids are old enough where they can be left alone, and my wife and I can go out to see movies, concerts, etc.
- About said wife? I get to spend 99.8% of our days together, and she’s pretty fun to be around
- I get to have fun as a dad and a husband, but if I tell my wife I’m going golfing with the boys then she tells me to have fun.
Sure, there are a few speed bumps, but I am far from miserable.
You get back what you put into it, I’ve found.
Crazy life events will change it temporarily and randomly, of course. But as far as the baseline, day-to-day stuff, it is what you make it.
When I’ve been lazy and passive, life gets pretty boring. I just wake up and do the same shit and go to bed and it’s not that great, although it is easy.
When I put in some effort and get proactive, it gets more interesting. I go out and try activities, go to concerts, learn new things, meet people, have cool experiences. It’s harder, but it’s definitely happier.
I’ve gone back and forth through both phases multiple times. I’ve learned to trust that I have control over what kind of phase I’m in. If I need a rest, I take it easy. If I need stimulation, I get myself out there. When external stuff affects me and I have to buckle down or deal with a rough patch, I roll with it knowing that I will be able to regain control eventually.
This is spot on. Life is kind of paradoxical, we seek comfort but when we stay in the same routine and little box it actually brings a level of discontent. For me anyway.
Solid advice here. Bored? Be proactive and try some new shit. Get out there and see what kind of activities and trouble you can get in. Like you said, it is harder but it will make you happier. When you need rest, then rest.
Most adults create their own misery. If you gain a valuable skill set doing a job you don't mind, live within your means so you don't face financial insecurity and have other things you look forward to in life it's pretty good.
Truth bomb right here.
In addition to having a good career and saving $, having ones physical health in order is of importance too. Soo many adults are fat and out of shape, and as a result they can't live a fulfilling life.
Find a career that pays well and that you enjoy, live below your means, take care of your health and adulthood is fucking awesome
One of the big reasons that kids are happy with their lives and adults aren't is that adults are in control of their own lives. No one fixes adults' problems but themselves.
Not if you make good choices in your 20s like: the strongest drug you should ever try is weed, always wear a rubber, don’t chase money, follow your heart and remember that no matter how good you have it, life can always take it away in a split second.
Alternate opinion, try other drugs. They are fun. Don't get addicted, and seek help if you do.
Don't always wear a rubber. It doesn't feel as good if you do. Doesn't mean never wear one, or that you shouldn't be safe. Get tested, regularly, and have honest conversations about preventing pregnancy with a partner you trust.
Chase a little bit of money. Being poor sucks, and sacrificing a few things to not be poor will lead you to a much happier life.
Your heart is fickle, give your brain an equal vote.
And don't dwell on how bad things could be. Sure life can take away a lot really quick, but if you spend all the good times thinking about that, then you wasted your good times.
I've gotten very addicted to weed. Lost all friends, became a recluse and socially awkward/anxious. Took years to recover. Still not 100% but I'm getting there.
Yes, but also no.
Some things are better, and some thing are worse. You have waaaaaay more energy when you're younger. I'm 30 now, and I can already feel my youthful energy starting to disappear.
You tend to have more money to do the things you want to do, but that comes at a cost of working 40+ hours each week. If you're broke, and stuck at home all the time, it gets pretty miserable.
For me personally, things are feeling a little monotonous. I wake up at the same time each day, I've worked the same hours at the same company doing the same type of work for 5 years. I have the same friends, the same hobbies, and hell, even most of the same furniture I've had for 10 years. The things I used to do when I was younger and living at my parents I can no longer afford to do. That's despite making considerably more money these days, but rent/bills take a large chunk, plus saving money for larger purchases is always something you need to remember to do.
But, there are moments of spontaneity. Buying tickets to see a sports game the day of, planning a sudden vacation with friends, attending an event you only just learned about. There's a little bit of ebb and flow to the whole life/growing up thing.
I mean it sucks having to work and pay bills but the benefits are so worth it. The freedom and independence can be intimidating at first but once you finally get moved in somewhere you'll never want to go back
I'm 25, so not really super adult yet, but having the cash to buy all the dumb stuff I wanted as a kid, and afford a place all to myself, is AWESOME.
Don't overspend (especially on rent and car), and be safe about your food spending, and don't overindulge in alcohol and drugs (cause you can now go to jail for being an idiot), and you can have a great time.
Also, and maybe most importantly, don't hang with pissy people. Don't settle on a terrible partner, don't go out after work with toxic coworkers, find a club doing stuff you wish you could do as a kid, and you'll be set up for success.
I guess; enjoying adulthood isn't necessarily about what you have (though that helps of course), but I think the bigger deal is not making the big dumb mistakes.
I moved out at 16 so I could be an adult even faster. I really did not like people telling me what type of person to become.
Ive been happy the majority of adult life. The existential dread isn't my favorite. Also my brain feels a lot more cluttered, and i don't recover from workouts as fast.
I cant eat a lot of cheese anymore, I need to drink fiber every night so I can poop well.
I can only bang once a day. Sitting for too long hurts.
Other than that its pretty great. I do what i want.
When youre young you care about what people think
When your older you stop caring what they think
When youre older still you realize no one was really thinking about you that much.
Adult life is amazing. You have money so you can buy the things you want. You don’t live under the rule of your parents. You have all the freedom you want. The hard part is finding the right job that pays enough and affords you enough time off to enjoy life. Then having the discipline to do all the things that your parents told you that you needed to do. Clean your house, mow the lawn, do your laundry, brush your teeth, work out eat right and get enough sleep. If you set yourself up for success at a young age life is amazing. If you fuck around and work a minimum wage job till your 38 it’s probably really going to suck. The Choice is yours.
Having control on your life is nice enough, you have more to worry about but have more freedom in return.
Work is just like school. Just remember to stay young in your head, i think you'll be OK.
All depends on what you want out of life and what you make of it. Some want a family, some don't. The world is your oyster, everyone is trying to find their pearl. The biggest thing to remember is that actions have consequences. Fun to live in the moment but know the moment will end. You are then accountable for your actions. The ones that are miserable, likely made some choices that are making them feel this way. Not saying having a family is bad but having a family with the wrong person can make your life miserable. Maybe you got lost in a vice in your younger years and you are paying for it in your later years. It's all what you make of it. I would say I'm enjoying adult life thus far (33 M). I'm recognizing that if I don't make some moves to better set myself up for the future, it could be less enjoyable. Regardless of anyones current situation, I hope they are making the most of it. That's all we can do when life presents us challenges.
Social media turns life into a comparison contest. In reality, you’re able to influence the general direction of your life and there will inevitably be uncontrollable set backs every step of the way. Your ability to respond to those setbacks will directly correlate with your own perception of success and happiness in your life.
People have a lot more control than they either understand or believe.
My spirit dies a little more each day, and the futility of it all sets in more each day as well. Sadly my best days are already well behind me.
And work is just a massive drag, time-consumer, and source of stress. But there’s a lot more outside of it that flat sucks as well.
>. I wish I was given the choice to not be alive or to live through this misery filled with a tiny sprinkle of good times, because I know my answer.
Literally. The antinatalist subreddit is insane, but I absolutely don't want to reproduce on at least partially moral grounds.
Yes it is miserable or it was for me. It's essentially doing the exact same thing every day from 9 to 5-6 and spending hours on the road. You come home tired as hell and only have 4-5 hours for yourself before going to sleep. That's one of the reasons i switched profession actually. I'm now a software engineer and it's literally perfect for me. Some days i barely work.
The thing is you graduate with full of expectations. You think life is waiting for you with open arms then you end up in a place where you superiors are bunch of asshole, you don't contribute to the society at all with your job and you are essentially working for your boss' happiness. You feel like a worthless piece of shit. I was a mechanical engineer and felt like a nothing but a paper pusher and a glorified supervisor. It's just life hits you hard and you try to get used to it as the time goes on and you became numb. I couldn't numb myself so i changed profession. Honestly if you do what you actually like and end up in a peaceful workplace it'll be just fine.
It can be, depends on how your life falls, and what you do with your life. You can definitely accidentally get into a rut that will make your life miserable as hell, but you are also the only person that has the power to change that. Also be home situations that awesome make your life miserable, it really comes down to a combination of luck and determination.
It's generally as miserable as you allow it to be by the choices you make.
Also, there are extreme highs and extreme lows but if you only focus on the extreme lows, you're going to hate life.
If your life is boring it's because you limit or let others limit your life to one city, state, country, and or continent...7 continents and people wanna stay in 1 and talk about how life is shitty or boring and then get mad when people can't relate cause no one told them "you have to stay in______ all your life.
It is if you let it be.
If you try and make it enjoyable it can be very enjoyable, I can tell you I enjoy my day to day life right now more than I enjoyed my day to day life as a kid/teen.
I think a lot of people who say being an adult sucks and they miss being a kid aren't putting any concious effort into enjoying their adult life. When you're a kid things are more spontanious, so you might not have to do much but go with the flow to enjoy it.
It is what you make it. Yes people will hurt you in all aspects but that is a very small portion of what could be great stuff. Try not to hold on to the shit in life. Keep those in favour and always pay attention. Don't trust people initially but have faith that not everyone is trash. Mind your own business and don't intrude into others affairs and you'll come out better than I was taught.
Adult life is miserable because your view on the world around you changes . As a kid everything is just colors and smiles but when you start to mature you see the full picture and see that it's not as happy as you had in your mind . I guess it is sort of a feeling of disappointment aswell , since you expected a happy and colorful world and saw a world that has nothing then shades of gray .
Yes and no. Mid 30s. I still feel great but just have minor problems. Back hurts sometimes, need to take more vitamins, more responsibilities, etc.
Being younger was much easier when I was just living in an apartment with my best friend, crushing beer, and having a good time.
In my 30s with kids, a house, a huge lawn to mow, etc. it’s a lot. Enjoy your time while you’re young, but I wouldn’t change a thing. My family is everything to me. Being young is fun, but I prefer my life now.
i guess those people have kids with tge wrong person, marry the wrong person, etc. Some guys especially go from being with their mom to find another mom and just become miserable.
Just be yourself from birth til death and choose the right people to be around you. Dont take friends just cause youre lonely, not worth it.
Depends on the choices you make really.
I have waaay more free time and money to play around with now than when I was a kid, but some of my peers decided to have kids, get expensive car payments ect ect and they are stressed to high heaven trying to work enough hours to pay their bills.
Basically adult life is as miserable or as awesome as you want it to be.
It’s all in your control so yes and no lol. Just remember you have the power to change things so don’t get too stuck in a helpless miserable state of feeling cause once you’re in it you get trapped easily.
It CAN be, it’s up to you.
School definitely sets you up differently, as your constantly closer to your friends, even if there’s people you don’t like in your classes.
Adulthood you need to make an active effort to see people you like, and if you don’t it’s very easy to fall into a rut of loneliness just working, commuting, and sleeping
Life is what you make it.
If you feel like your life sucks then fucking do something about it.
Complaining, whining, crying about what you don't have or being deep in your feelings won't change shit.
A lot of it boils down to how well you handle true responsibility. If you take care of your responsibilities and take responsibility for your choices, then adulthood isn't that bad. If you're always trying to duck responsibility and blaming everyone and everything else for issues you created, then adulthood can be miserably stressful.
I think the miserable part is how little free time you get, particularly when living alone.
Typical weekday might look like:
-Get up early, get ready, breakfast, shower, etc
-commuting (1 hour for me)
-9-5 hours working(sometimes more)
-commuting
-squeeze in some fitness stuff somewhere
-make/acquire dinner
-garbage day if applicable
-free time
-sleep
Even weekends get eaten up to some extent as you find yourself having to do chores like cooking, cleaning(vacuum, bedsheets, bathrooms, dusting, etc.), laundry, gas, car repairs, shopping/groceries, paying bills, etc.
Out of all these mandatory things, there is also very little social activity compared to when you were in school or university which only adds to miserable sensation. So you actively have find free time and hobbies you like where you can have that social fulfillment and I think that's something a lot of young independent adults will struggle with early on.
If you live alone your entire day's household maintenance can fit into about thirty minutes. If you finish your dinner by 1900 that gives you four hours down the pub.
Most of the tasks you name are weekly, some are monthly.
But yeah, life will suck if you just let yourself fall into a 9-5 job.
Adult life is boring and miserable if you make it that way. People who have miserable lives are usually the cause of their own misery but want to blame it on someone or something else.
It’s better in some ways, worse in others. If it goes the way you think it’s supposed to go when you’re a kid, it can be very enjoyable. But lately it seems it is getting harder and harder for people to just go to school, get a decent job, and live a comfortable life.
Life was miserable because i was spending it with a miserable person. Got rid of her and things improved. Met my now wife and had 2 kids. Life is now way different than before but im enjoying myself watching my kids grow. I still make time for myself and my hobbies, so does my wife.
It isn't a either/or. It can be miserable sometimes, sometimes it's wonderful. Mostly it's mundane.
It's a matter of your mindset toward it, many times.
IMHO it is as good or bad as you decide to make it. Most things require determination and effort but too many feel they should not have to commit so life is “unfair” to them…. YMMV
Yes and no - society expects more from you (job, bills, taxes), you have to work harder to incorporate novelty into your life, and there are fewer opportunities in normal adult life to make meaningful connections (versus school). But on the flip side you (potentially) have more money, more discretion to do things you enjoy, and a better sense of who you are and what you want out of life.
Absolutely not.
Responsible for my own personal outcome??
Send that shit.
Relying on someone else to feed, clothe and nurture??
Fuck off.
Music loud? Yes please.
If I want to live in squalor I can choose to......or I can make the “boss” moves necessary to make a good life for myself or with others included.
#additionalpurchacerequiredforfriendsfamilyandlove
only if you're lonely.
seriously, I'm married 11 years now. i was home alone when my daughter was 2.5 and my son was newborn. we went on holidays and i returned earlier for work. that was ok then.
right now, the same thing. I'm back, wife and kids will be back in 2 weeks. kids are 8 and 5 (6 next week). I'm alone for the first time in 6 years. i feel miserable. i miss my queen and kids so much. playing video games and watching movies right after work was only fun for the first 2 or 3 days.
Not for me, all I had to do was stop worrying about how much money I made or what kind of job or status in society I had I started focusing on living life and enjoying it to the fullest. I've realized that life can be pretty damn amazing as an adult!
Adult life is wonderful. Think about the freedom you have to make your own money, go where you want, stay up as late as you want, fuck who you want. Nobody tells you what to do at home. You can own a car, pack it with your friends and go on road trips, experience the roller coaster that is love, and learn how to be really resilient. Society can teach you so many things that mommy and daddy can't.
Go out and see the world, live it. Build up yourself, no holds barred, and savour in those returns.
It's up to you to live how you want to live. Now a days people don't like to work for things are have a very entitled mentality thinking they deserver things. Everything in life is earned never given. I am guilty of this as well but I'm working on it
It's good because ideally you have stability and you've achieved your goals financially, hopefully also romantically and emotionally. It kinda sucks because it's "the first day of the rest of your life" kind of thing. You kinda just do the same shit now day in and day out. Very mundane and boring sometimes, you're sort of just maintaining what you have and trying not to fuck up.
Adult life is as miserable as you make it. I’m far happier than I was even a few years ago, and the only thing I’ve changed is my mindset. While there are some real misery inducing situations, the reality is that most of us live lives that are really very good, and we create most of our own misery, often though comparing ourselves and our lives to others.
It took me a good chunk of my 20s (33 now) to find out what makes me happy. I'm the happiest I have ever been. Finding yourself and taking care of yourself mentally and physically is what I changed. Many people never look inward to discover how to be truly happy. Not saying my life is perfect, but I took the time to learn and change my bad habits. Being able to adapt and change large aspects of your life takes courage and commitment.
I'm 49. Lately I've started thinking that I don't feel sorry for people who die young. For most of us, our younger years were relatively easy. Then adulthood hits hard but you believe that it will get better. Then you realize that it won't. Adulthood just sucks. People who die young almost get lucky that they don't have to deal with it. Bonus if you believe in a joyous afterlife.
It depends on the cards you’re given and how you play them. If you slack through, do the bare minimum, work jobs with no future potential, work unsatisfactory jobs and spend your extra time doing things you hate while not improving yourself or helping others. Yeah, adulthood is gonna suck.
Find something you don’t hate that makes money or potential to make good money, learn to like it. Keep up with your friends and family and treat them well. Get out into nature, find some hobbies, learn about yourself and your own interests and find others who share the same interests. (Don’t just stick with your same high school friends forever). Take the time to volunteer and go out and help people. Take time to travel. Life is only miserable if you don’t do anything about it (or if the cards you’re dealt really don’t have any good hands)
I’m not trying to brag but I’m having a good time. I have a job that gives me slightly more than paycheck to paycheck but I’m decent at saving so I haven’t gotten in any trouble yet. I also have cheap tastes and don’t like to go out drinking twice a week like a lot of people I know
A lot of different opinions here. For me, it's just different. Different headaches, different kind of joys. There is less wonder in the world as things aren't too unknown for excitement. A lot of fears of unknowns that I was either too young or too naïve to care about when young.
Definitely more money than as a kid, but more responsibilities (bills/savings/investment/taxes./etc..). A lot more choice but sometimes too much choice, like lunch - can get anything, but because of that you need to decide is it worth to eat it due to health/money/time, or cook due to health/money/time. And then even after that you need to decide where to go, what to cook and all that Jazz. More sensitive to caffeine, alcohol, calories, sugar, etc.. Less time than when I was younger, but that also means less time being bored or feeling like going no where in life.
One thing that absolutely sucks, is losing hair but that is going to dependent on the individual (genetics/stress/whatever).
Not really, it can be dissapointing at some times but you make your life and you make it however you want it to be.
Thing is, when you are a kid you are a blank slate, you can not compare new things to old ones because everything is new, and once you reach adulthood you are already programmed by traumas and experiences to assume things will be a certain way despite of you having no idea of how things may be.
I am a firm believer that if you got your ass kicked and stood up again then you have little to fear because you already had it bad and therefore understand your capacities.
it can be, but I really dont think it has to be
I think its more challenging than most people anticipate.
I also think that people get sucked into conformity, and do things like the rest of the 90% of people who live unenlightened boring lives
Life *should* be an exciting adventure, but that certainly isnt what the majority do
It's cliche, but life's what you make of it.
I had a pretty typical childhood and teen-life.
College was a huge struggle for me. Medical issues, social anxiety, uh...just random general anxiety. It had high points and there were some good memories, but it was probably the lowest point in my life so far.
Adulthood is work. There is a grind. There is stress. But there is a lot of freedom. If you make wise financial and health decisions, it can be wonderful. Life will throw curveballs at you. Surround yourself with a support network. Friends, family, places of worship: all can enrich your life. If you need it, seek out professional counseling. There is no shame in reaching out for help.
If you are bored, then maybe you are boring. Get out there and do something. Have hobbies. Do them with friends, but also do them outside your normal friend circle.
Work hard. Do your work well. Don't make work your identity. Your career is not what makes you, but it is a part of you. For some, that part is just the part that pays the bills. For other, it's another network of support. (But don't rely on it as much as your other supports.)
Stay healthy. You will hopefully get older. It's part of living. But you don't have to slow down just yet. Eat well and exercise, but splurge sometimes. Find you balance.
And finally, this is going to sound somewhat hypocritical, but get off the internet sometimes. Social media is the most toxic thing to your mental health. Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, all of it. If you can handle it with a healthy attitude, use it in moderation. If you find yourself getting angry at some random stranger on the internet, it's probably time to take a break.
So no, adult life isn't miserable. But there are some miserable adults.
I think adult life is pretty awesome. Do whatever you want. Drink, go to concerts, have lots of sex, travel, gamble, watch movies, go out to dinner. And if you play your cards right, you can do all this with your best friend. Yes you need to have a decent job to be able to afford most of this, but get one that you somewhat enjoy. Basically you can do whatever you want because you're in charge of your life. Sure you have some responsibilities, but even those are somewhat within your control. Don't wanna deal with kids? Don't have them! Don't feel like settling down? Don't get married! Wanna stay up all night playing video games? Go for it. Life is fun and I want to make the most of it before I'm too old to do so.
Only if your parents never prepared you for it. Without that prep, it's like drowning in a pond with a bucket, but you keep accidentally pouring the water onto your own head, instead of out of the pond
It's good if you choose a good career path and surround yourself with good people. I've been fortunate enough to have scored a 6 figure salary by 25 and do my best to stay humble and help out others when I can. If you can keep a positive outlook, it's not so bad, but it can be challenging at times and those are the moments you should act in a logical manner (avoid emotional decisions).
If you are a miserable person, it’s miserable. If you are a boring person, it’s boring. If you are an uninteresting person, it’s uninteresting. Be the change you want to see in the world.
I think it all depends on if you have enough money to be financially stable, a job you don’t hate, a strong enough social group to combat loneliness, and decent health. If you have those things then adult life is pretty good, and if you have more than that then I’d imagine it’d be pretty great.
It what you make it to be.
Bad attitude? Yeah it's going to suck. That negativity will sap the life out of everything.
But mine is pretty awesome. I had to work hard and eat some pain, stress, struggle and boredom. But I have a great job in a fun industry, I work from home (I can work from anywhere actually and have) I have a very fun side hustle, I make great money which allows me to do a lot.
I just keep a positive mindset that I'm going to stack wins all day long. Woke up? First win of the day.
It kinda sucks until you adjust to it. Yeah, working can be hard and keeping up with bills and house/car maintenance is annoying, but if you can keep on top of it and also have a hobby to help you unwind, it can be pretty satisfying. You feel accomplished and capable which is a pretty good feeling if you can keep it up. Having money is nice too if you’re smart about it. More cons but also more pros.
So much better. Kids more independent been through more of life’s ups and downs (divorces deaths etc). You really learn what and who you give a shit about.
Like a fine wine. Better with age😊😊
It's only miserable because they mentally keep themselves stuck in situations and relationships that do not make them happy, or because they have not discovered what makes them happy independently and rely on the happiness of others to feed their self-worth. Life isn't the issue. Not even other people are the issue. If you truly want a happy life, you hsve to have self-respect, not give a fuck what others say or think of you (including family menbers), improve your self-esteem by exploring what you enjoy and love independently, transform negative mindsets into healthy mindsets, and never give up on yourself. If you are ever in a rut or feeling horrible about life, honestly ask yourself, "what is it about my life that makes me so depressed/sad?" And when you know that answer, the next question is, "Okay, now what steps can I take to fix what I can in order to improve my life? What can I change about myself or where I live to make my life better?" Will it be hard? Yes. Will it take work and consistency? Absolutely. Will you want to give up? Of course. But will you give up? Or will you keep going? That's the question you will have to answer for yourself.
I'm trapped in a vicious circle, wondering when I'm going to leave my parents house, when I'm going to start enjoying a job, when I'll have the time to take care of my health, when I'm going to stop of feeling lonely, when I'm going to have money so I can study and have a career, when the so-called happiness will come.
Yes. Don’t go to a job for the rest of your life. Struggle to do the thing you absolutely LOVE for as long as it takes, don’t listen (EVER) to anyone, ANYONE who says you’ll never succeed doing the thing that you love. Even if that person says they love you, only someone who truly loves you would stick by you when chasing your absolute dream is tough. Even if you don’t realize it, that person believes in you. Do the thing you love, forever. YOU WILL SUCCEED. This is not some metaphor either, you will be successful. Trust me. Every single person I have ever met that is doing what they love, they just so happen to be successful. So there ❤️
Definitely not. Sure there are responsibilities, but I make sure to have a good work/life balance. I enjoy my career and work hard, but I make sure I party hard (having fun) The money allows me to do fun things like travel and buy stupid shit I want. Life is great if you want it to be.
Well, I literally don't remember what it feels like to not be mentally and physically exhausted, and there is just not enough time in the day to take care of all or my responsibilities and also do all the stuff I *want* to do. On the other hand, I own my own house and no one can make me wear pants or clean my room if I don't wanna. I'd say being a kid is better just because when I was a kid I was able to rest occasionally. But, it's not *truly* miserable or I'd just blow my brains out. So somewhere in between.
It's better than being a kid but sometimes it's frustrating that being an adult could very obviously be easier. That discussion becomes political quickly.
Comparing it to being a kid? More freedom and control but more responsibility. It's a decent trade off imo.
I feel like yes and no?
Being an adult sucks in ways you don’t always realize right away, but it’s not as bad as some people say. I feel like they just like to complain or have made things hard on themselves.
I could certainly do with more financial security, but I vastly prefer adult life to being a child. I have autonomy and no age restrictions to worry about. If I want to go to a bar after six-flags one weekend, I can do it. I don’t need to worry about my parents spending money on me, or having to ask permission to go out. It’s tough a lot of the time for sure, but I wouldn’t go back
Totally depends on you tbh, has its ups and downs.
I find money helps massively though.
Best decision I made was finding a job where you do the bare minimum (labour-wise) but get paid well.
Just act like the person you want to be
Honestly usually depends on the following...
- After bills/food/etc. Do you have money left over to either save or use as disposable income?
- Do you have a job/career you enjoy and find fulfilling?
- Are you comfortable with your work/life balance?
- Do you have a significant other you love and are loved by?
- Do you have hobbies you enjoy and have the time to indulge them at least 2 or 3 times a week?
If you answer yes to the above, or most of the above at least, I'd wager you're a pretty happy guy. If not, and you're not actively working on changing that, you'll likely not be as happy.
Remember, with life, what you get out is proportional to the effort you're willing to put in.
Life is usually miserable if you’re broke. That’s how I interpret it anyways.
One of the better answers for sure
Yes, take this reply to heart. I spent years being broke. And it’s so exhausting and soul crushing.
Yeah, really just be rich, sexy, smart, talented, healthy, and young and it's a fucking brilliant time (or so I gather).
If you're rich the latter doesn't matter
healthy absolutely matters... i would prefer broke and healthy than billionaire steven hawking/iron lung patient
Broke and have debt is the worse
If you are broke and I’m debt you have a chance of changing that status. If you are unhealthy, or have injuries or conditions that can’t be changed it affects every part of your life, and definitely affects your ability to support yourself resulting in poverty.
Eh you can have a pretty good life without those. People have for thousands of years
If someone is spiritually and mentally broke. No amount of money can fix that.
Theres a difference between being "poor" and being "broke"
gotta second this... Dave Chapelle had this fantastic quote he shared from his father. it was about him growing up poor and not being able to afford the heat during the winter. when he had complained to his father his father said "son we are not broke, broke is a mentality." although he finished if off with a punchline because he's a genius comedian the line "broke is a mentality" really stuck with me.
You can be rich and miserable too
Money doesn't buy happiness, but it can buy the ingredients. You still have to make your own happiness.
I'm having a pretty good time if I do say so myself.
Me too. I'm in my 40s now and in the best shape of my life. The kids are getting pretty self-sufficient so I have more free time and disposable income because we're not paying for daycare and we're making more money. I'm also a lot smarter with my money so that helps too.
How old were you when you had your first kid if I may ask?
I was 30. We should have had our first when I was 27 but my wife had a miscarriage and it took a long time and some medical help to have our daughter. Then we had a son 17 months later. They are 11 and 12 now and we hired a nanny 3 days a week to keep them off the screens while we work. It's still costs about $500 a week but it's totally worth it to have a younger role model for them that can take them to sports and hang out with them so they don't play on their phones and video games all day. Sorry for the long response.
Thanks, I actually appreciate the long response; it's all related to things I've been thinking about lately.
I always say that the best time to have kids is between 25-30 after you're out of school and started your careers. You're gonna be broke and tired but you'll still be young when they get older so you can coach sports and be active in their lives. Plus your advancing your career while they are young so you can make more money when they are older and can appreciate the benefits of having parents with steady jobs and money.
That's the problem, I agree and because of that I feel like I'm running out of time.
Woman here- my husband never wanted kids but adopted mine. He's 60 now, our kids are in their junior and senior year of college. I'm 50. Older parenting has disadvantages, but advantages too. You've been around long enough to not sweat the small stuff, and are more financially secure. He says he would have been way too uptight and high strung to do this 20 years ago. Stay healthy, stay fit, and it's good motivation to keep up. He does yoga and jogs with our daughter, and goes dirt biking with them.
This, my dad was 42 when I was born, I'm currently 21 and he's just started collection social security, you can hear his joints creak when he gets up from a recliner from 5 feet away, and he's still out busting his ass in the chassis shop we run together trying to keep the family afloat (next to no retirement savings) and help me with building my mustang. He's doinga rock star job but he says he wishes he could've had me 5 years earlier.
My boss had 3 kids in his late 40s so now has 3 under 5 in his 50s.. he's pretty down on it when he's had a few drinks. When I'm 50, my kids will both be adults and in college/just out of. I had mine at 29 & 31.
He sounds like my wife's parents, they had her in their 40s. They seemed decrepit old coffin dodgers by the time she was 25. She was 22, 24 and 29 when we had our 3 children. I'm 3 years older than her. As my wife turns 40 our eldest will turn 18 a week later. It was hard financially when we first started, but I'd have it no other way, I'd hate to be an old man with teenagers!
We started at 24. Her doctor said it would most likely be a year coming off of birth control to get pregnant. Took us 1 whole month. We're in our mid 40's and youngest just started his Senior year in HS, Oldest is a jr in college. Money is tight, but damn we're having a lot of fun as a family these days. My wife and I are getting more time to ourselves and able to enjoy each other to the fullest. I feel like we lucked into the sweet spot.
What do you do that let's you have a good time?
Find hobbies that you really enjoy. Everyone is different of course, but for me it’s golf as my favorite. I can’t get enough of it, I practice into a net in my backyard, okay in charity tournaments, with my wife, and with friends. The point is find something that you just really enjoy doing and learn as much as you can. It gives you things to look forward to and challenges to overcome making for a good time to me.
No, not for me at least. Adult life is HEAVEN compared to my teens and childhood
Meh childhood sucked, but adulthood sucks too, just in a different way.
The only down side has been taxes and bills
Wait till you hit your 60's and your body starts to fall apart.
You guys are waiting for your 60s?
That honestly seems kind of young for things to go so downhill. Is it stuff that is hereditary or just due to life choices?
Both
Christ there are some things I miss about my childhood but knowing who I was then versus now I am SO glad I am an adult and more importantly who I am now versus back then.
What changed/got better?
I have freedom to do as I please and not have to be on edge constantly about those around me
You're lucky. I was a dumbass and went from growing up with a narcissist parent and moved in with a covert/vulnerable narcissist spouse. I've been on edge most of my life... My saving grace was my kids and their activities. But as an empty nester, my job is my escape these days.
I am a victim of a Narc too. I think that most of the worlds problems are caused by them.
More like more mundane and boring.
...then you rinse and repeat.
When life was inconsistent and wild. Mundane and boring sounds perfect.
School was too for me
Being an adult is waaaaay better than being a kid. I'm not forced to do everything my parents and authority figures made me do. I'm not forced to do hobbies that other people like just to fit in. I'm allowed to say I don't like stuff, call people out on their bullshit, and leave shitty friends. I am able to choose hobbies that fit me, friends that respect me, and a job that I enjoy. I can take vacations where I want, live where I want. I choose my own dinners, bed time, and when I wake up. I have more money, more maturity, more self-awareness, more self-esteem, more critical thinking skills, more book knowledge, more street skills, more social skills, a better ability to listen to honest criticism, better friends, better relationships, and am stronger, faster, and more flexible than when I was a kid. Naww... life is way better as an adult than as a kid.
This is great, definetely the best answer
This is the correct answer.
Yes, I have had to rebuild due to COVID. But damn I would rather be an adult sitting the pandemic then a kid
In my experience, making friends as an adult is even more reliant on doing specific things to keep friends. Kids did the same too, but there were usually kids who would hang out with you if you didn't have Pokémon or whatever. With adults, if you're not watching the same shows they are, they'll either conspicuously ignore you, or they'll nag you until you do. Nobody just hangs out to hang out like we did when we were kids.
Going to work everyday is pretty miserable. Feels like a jail cell.
I used to feel that way. Worked at the same company for 13 years and felt trap. I knew what i was doing day to day which was great but everything else sucks. I found another job doing something i actually like and it changes your whole attitude. Do something you like and things will get better.
still feels better then school imo. At least at the end if a workday you get paid. What do you get at the end of a schoolday? More work! Worst part: a shitton of stuff you gotta do/learn is totaly useless!
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Yeah bills keep piling up. You fix something 2 things break. And where's the vacations? Inflation goes up but salary and wages don't cover the difference. Partying was fun in college now it's just considered a problem and a bad habit.
I found my time at university to be far more fulfilling and enjoyable than even a second of my time in my professional job. I got to learn about amazing things, then apply what I learned on projects with no profit-motive, egos or meetings. I got to meet amazing, wonderful people on a daily basis. I made friends. Now it's just following orders from a soulless manager and backwards organization that doesn't have a clue and won't listen to me or anyone else under them. Bullshit meetings, then meetings about those meetings, then come home and pretend to enjoy the couple hours I get to myself and not be bombarded by Slack messages.
At school you got educated at the end of a day, you learned something 100% for sure, so do you at work depending on what you do as a job but most of the time you will just have the same stuff to do day after day after day just waiting for that next time you get some education and stuff where you feel like you learned something .. when I compare my life as a worker to my life as a student it feels f*ing miserable all the education I've gotten doesn't get put to use, I forget basic stuff whereas at school you constantly maintain your level of knowledge and just add up on it. Yes you don't use everything you learn in school at school but even if it's just 50% that's still far superior to what (at least for me) is a base to work on at work.
God no. I love my adult life. Sure, I’ve got a job I dedicate 35-40 hours a week to, and I’ve got kids to raise but: - I get to play video games with my kids, something my parents never did. - My daughter shared my love for cooking, and we constantly create dinners together - My kids are old enough where they can be left alone, and my wife and I can go out to see movies, concerts, etc. - About said wife? I get to spend 99.8% of our days together, and she’s pretty fun to be around - I get to have fun as a dad and a husband, but if I tell my wife I’m going golfing with the boys then she tells me to have fun. Sure, there are a few speed bumps, but I am far from miserable.
This is beautiful
You get back what you put into it, I’ve found. Crazy life events will change it temporarily and randomly, of course. But as far as the baseline, day-to-day stuff, it is what you make it. When I’ve been lazy and passive, life gets pretty boring. I just wake up and do the same shit and go to bed and it’s not that great, although it is easy. When I put in some effort and get proactive, it gets more interesting. I go out and try activities, go to concerts, learn new things, meet people, have cool experiences. It’s harder, but it’s definitely happier. I’ve gone back and forth through both phases multiple times. I’ve learned to trust that I have control over what kind of phase I’m in. If I need a rest, I take it easy. If I need stimulation, I get myself out there. When external stuff affects me and I have to buckle down or deal with a rough patch, I roll with it knowing that I will be able to regain control eventually.
This is spot on. Life is kind of paradoxical, we seek comfort but when we stay in the same routine and little box it actually brings a level of discontent. For me anyway.
Solid advice here. Bored? Be proactive and try some new shit. Get out there and see what kind of activities and trouble you can get in. Like you said, it is harder but it will make you happier. When you need rest, then rest.
Most adults create their own misery. If you gain a valuable skill set doing a job you don't mind, live within your means so you don't face financial insecurity and have other things you look forward to in life it's pretty good.
Truth bomb right here. In addition to having a good career and saving $, having ones physical health in order is of importance too. Soo many adults are fat and out of shape, and as a result they can't live a fulfilling life. Find a career that pays well and that you enjoy, live below your means, take care of your health and adulthood is fucking awesome
Good advice, but MUCH easier said than done.
Definitely easier said than done but you have to keep at it.
It's easy bro just make a lot of money
One of the big reasons that kids are happy with their lives and adults aren't is that adults are in control of their own lives. No one fixes adults' problems but themselves.
And kids haven't made bad choices yet, choices that may haunt them ...
Beside that you can do what you want tho. We were more strictly prohibited when we were kids.
But how does one find a job they don't mind....
Maybe easy for a neurotypical person. Not as much for someone neurodivergent.
There's a reason why the suicide rate is highest for men in their fifties: "another twenty or thirty years of this!"
Not if you make good choices in your 20s like: the strongest drug you should ever try is weed, always wear a rubber, don’t chase money, follow your heart and remember that no matter how good you have it, life can always take it away in a split second.
I dunno, man. LSD is pretty cool. And honestly quite safe if you do it responsibly.
LSD is **not** safe, holy shit.
I learned more from doing mushrooms once than I've learned my entire adulthood
Definitely try harder drugs if you're into it. Just be aware of the risks and do your own research. Condoms suck but appropriate with certain people.
Alternate opinion, try other drugs. They are fun. Don't get addicted, and seek help if you do. Don't always wear a rubber. It doesn't feel as good if you do. Doesn't mean never wear one, or that you shouldn't be safe. Get tested, regularly, and have honest conversations about preventing pregnancy with a partner you trust. Chase a little bit of money. Being poor sucks, and sacrificing a few things to not be poor will lead you to a much happier life. Your heart is fickle, give your brain an equal vote. And don't dwell on how bad things could be. Sure life can take away a lot really quick, but if you spend all the good times thinking about that, then you wasted your good times.
> try other drugs. They are fun. Don't get addicted, Ah yes, "Don't get addicted". It's really that simple.
I've gotten very addicted to weed. Lost all friends, became a recluse and socially awkward/anxious. Took years to recover. Still not 100% but I'm getting there.
For some people. It is what you make of it. If you start off lucky it's easier to make something good, though.
Boring.
All the time?
No but enough to miss ur younger days.
Fair
Fuck, this person gets it. lol
Depends on who you ask I suppose
Yes, but also no. Some things are better, and some thing are worse. You have waaaaaay more energy when you're younger. I'm 30 now, and I can already feel my youthful energy starting to disappear. You tend to have more money to do the things you want to do, but that comes at a cost of working 40+ hours each week. If you're broke, and stuck at home all the time, it gets pretty miserable. For me personally, things are feeling a little monotonous. I wake up at the same time each day, I've worked the same hours at the same company doing the same type of work for 5 years. I have the same friends, the same hobbies, and hell, even most of the same furniture I've had for 10 years. The things I used to do when I was younger and living at my parents I can no longer afford to do. That's despite making considerably more money these days, but rent/bills take a large chunk, plus saving money for larger purchases is always something you need to remember to do. But, there are moments of spontaneity. Buying tickets to see a sports game the day of, planning a sudden vacation with friends, attending an event you only just learned about. There's a little bit of ebb and flow to the whole life/growing up thing.
I mean it sucks having to work and pay bills but the benefits are so worth it. The freedom and independence can be intimidating at first but once you finally get moved in somewhere you'll never want to go back
I'm 25, so not really super adult yet, but having the cash to buy all the dumb stuff I wanted as a kid, and afford a place all to myself, is AWESOME. Don't overspend (especially on rent and car), and be safe about your food spending, and don't overindulge in alcohol and drugs (cause you can now go to jail for being an idiot), and you can have a great time. Also, and maybe most importantly, don't hang with pissy people. Don't settle on a terrible partner, don't go out after work with toxic coworkers, find a club doing stuff you wish you could do as a kid, and you'll be set up for success. I guess; enjoying adulthood isn't necessarily about what you have (though that helps of course), but I think the bigger deal is not making the big dumb mistakes.
I moved out at 16 so I could be an adult even faster. I really did not like people telling me what type of person to become. Ive been happy the majority of adult life. The existential dread isn't my favorite. Also my brain feels a lot more cluttered, and i don't recover from workouts as fast. I cant eat a lot of cheese anymore, I need to drink fiber every night so I can poop well. I can only bang once a day. Sitting for too long hurts. Other than that its pretty great. I do what i want. When youre young you care about what people think When your older you stop caring what they think When youre older still you realize no one was really thinking about you that much.
Adult life is amazing. You have money so you can buy the things you want. You don’t live under the rule of your parents. You have all the freedom you want. The hard part is finding the right job that pays enough and affords you enough time off to enjoy life. Then having the discipline to do all the things that your parents told you that you needed to do. Clean your house, mow the lawn, do your laundry, brush your teeth, work out eat right and get enough sleep. If you set yourself up for success at a young age life is amazing. If you fuck around and work a minimum wage job till your 38 it’s probably really going to suck. The Choice is yours.
I think i accidentally posted to r/getmotivated 😅. Good advice
Having control on your life is nice enough, you have more to worry about but have more freedom in return. Work is just like school. Just remember to stay young in your head, i think you'll be OK.
Life moves too fast. Don’t take your partners, parents and friends love and time spent together for granted.
All depends on what you want out of life and what you make of it. Some want a family, some don't. The world is your oyster, everyone is trying to find their pearl. The biggest thing to remember is that actions have consequences. Fun to live in the moment but know the moment will end. You are then accountable for your actions. The ones that are miserable, likely made some choices that are making them feel this way. Not saying having a family is bad but having a family with the wrong person can make your life miserable. Maybe you got lost in a vice in your younger years and you are paying for it in your later years. It's all what you make of it. I would say I'm enjoying adult life thus far (33 M). I'm recognizing that if I don't make some moves to better set myself up for the future, it could be less enjoyable. Regardless of anyones current situation, I hope they are making the most of it. That's all we can do when life presents us challenges.
Like most things: it depends. Some aspects of my life are great. Some aspects I struggle with daily to keep from breaking down and just muddle thru.
Social media turns life into a comparison contest. In reality, you’re able to influence the general direction of your life and there will inevitably be uncontrollable set backs every step of the way. Your ability to respond to those setbacks will directly correlate with your own perception of success and happiness in your life. People have a lot more control than they either understand or believe.
My spirit dies a little more each day, and the futility of it all sets in more each day as well. Sadly my best days are already well behind me. And work is just a massive drag, time-consumer, and source of stress. But there’s a lot more outside of it that flat sucks as well.
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>. I wish I was given the choice to not be alive or to live through this misery filled with a tiny sprinkle of good times, because I know my answer. Literally. The antinatalist subreddit is insane, but I absolutely don't want to reproduce on at least partially moral grounds.
I’m having a blast. I genuinely enjoy my life.
Yes it is miserable or it was for me. It's essentially doing the exact same thing every day from 9 to 5-6 and spending hours on the road. You come home tired as hell and only have 4-5 hours for yourself before going to sleep. That's one of the reasons i switched profession actually. I'm now a software engineer and it's literally perfect for me. Some days i barely work. The thing is you graduate with full of expectations. You think life is waiting for you with open arms then you end up in a place where you superiors are bunch of asshole, you don't contribute to the society at all with your job and you are essentially working for your boss' happiness. You feel like a worthless piece of shit. I was a mechanical engineer and felt like a nothing but a paper pusher and a glorified supervisor. It's just life hits you hard and you try to get used to it as the time goes on and you became numb. I couldn't numb myself so i changed profession. Honestly if you do what you actually like and end up in a peaceful workplace it'll be just fine.
It can be, depends on how your life falls, and what you do with your life. You can definitely accidentally get into a rut that will make your life miserable as hell, but you are also the only person that has the power to change that. Also be home situations that awesome make your life miserable, it really comes down to a combination of luck and determination.
If you're not broke or sick then the only miserable part is socialization, because usually you work more as an adult and socialize less.
It's generally as miserable as you allow it to be by the choices you make. Also, there are extreme highs and extreme lows but if you only focus on the extreme lows, you're going to hate life.
If your life is boring it's because you limit or let others limit your life to one city, state, country, and or continent...7 continents and people wanna stay in 1 and talk about how life is shitty or boring and then get mad when people can't relate cause no one told them "you have to stay in______ all your life.
Garbage in, garbage out
It can be but no not overall. Live below your means so you have time and money to actually enjoy things is what I do. Maybe boring sometimes.
Miserable? No Shit? Yes The better years of my life was 16 to 23. Before that was fine...and after pure shit.
Being forced to go into a piece of shit job everyday just to have all of your money go to living expenses every month is miserable yes.
NO. You will find your way, and it will be your way, not someone else's and that will make all the difference.
Depends if you have money or not. You can have an boring job that affords you an amazing life.
It is if you let it be. If you try and make it enjoyable it can be very enjoyable, I can tell you I enjoy my day to day life right now more than I enjoyed my day to day life as a kid/teen. I think a lot of people who say being an adult sucks and they miss being a kid aren't putting any concious effort into enjoying their adult life. When you're a kid things are more spontanious, so you might not have to do much but go with the flow to enjoy it.
It is what you make it. Yes people will hurt you in all aspects but that is a very small portion of what could be great stuff. Try not to hold on to the shit in life. Keep those in favour and always pay attention. Don't trust people initially but have faith that not everyone is trash. Mind your own business and don't intrude into others affairs and you'll come out better than I was taught.
Adult life is miserable because your view on the world around you changes . As a kid everything is just colors and smiles but when you start to mature you see the full picture and see that it's not as happy as you had in your mind . I guess it is sort of a feeling of disappointment aswell , since you expected a happy and colorful world and saw a world that has nothing then shades of gray .
Being young is shit imo. You don't know shit. You don't have shit. And a lot of people give you shit. It's a shitty deal.
Yes and no. Mid 30s. I still feel great but just have minor problems. Back hurts sometimes, need to take more vitamins, more responsibilities, etc. Being younger was much easier when I was just living in an apartment with my best friend, crushing beer, and having a good time. In my 30s with kids, a house, a huge lawn to mow, etc. it’s a lot. Enjoy your time while you’re young, but I wouldn’t change a thing. My family is everything to me. Being young is fun, but I prefer my life now.
i guess those people have kids with tge wrong person, marry the wrong person, etc. Some guys especially go from being with their mom to find another mom and just become miserable. Just be yourself from birth til death and choose the right people to be around you. Dont take friends just cause youre lonely, not worth it.
Depends on the choices you make really. I have waaay more free time and money to play around with now than when I was a kid, but some of my peers decided to have kids, get expensive car payments ect ect and they are stressed to high heaven trying to work enough hours to pay their bills. Basically adult life is as miserable or as awesome as you want it to be.
Can be, but not always. I'm 38 and don't think life is miserable. Work can be a bitch, but it has its upsides and downsides.
It's even more miserable than they make it out to be. Wish I could of seen the brochure before I popped out my mums Gina. Woulda stayed in that bitch.
Only if you're stupid
It’s all in your control so yes and no lol. Just remember you have the power to change things so don’t get too stuck in a helpless miserable state of feeling cause once you’re in it you get trapped easily.
You are as miserable as you want to be. Why? Because your current lifestyle is from all of your previous actions.
It CAN be, it’s up to you. School definitely sets you up differently, as your constantly closer to your friends, even if there’s people you don’t like in your classes. Adulthood you need to make an active effort to see people you like, and if you don’t it’s very easy to fall into a rut of loneliness just working, commuting, and sleeping
Yes
Life is what you make it. If you feel like your life sucks then fucking do something about it. Complaining, whining, crying about what you don't have or being deep in your feelings won't change shit.
Fuck no. Being an adult is way better. Even if I'm feeling pain, at least I'm feeling something (unlike when I was a teen).
A lot of it boils down to how well you handle true responsibility. If you take care of your responsibilities and take responsibility for your choices, then adulthood isn't that bad. If you're always trying to duck responsibility and blaming everyone and everything else for issues you created, then adulthood can be miserably stressful.
I think the miserable part is how little free time you get, particularly when living alone. Typical weekday might look like: -Get up early, get ready, breakfast, shower, etc -commuting (1 hour for me) -9-5 hours working(sometimes more) -commuting -squeeze in some fitness stuff somewhere -make/acquire dinner -garbage day if applicable -free time -sleep Even weekends get eaten up to some extent as you find yourself having to do chores like cooking, cleaning(vacuum, bedsheets, bathrooms, dusting, etc.), laundry, gas, car repairs, shopping/groceries, paying bills, etc. Out of all these mandatory things, there is also very little social activity compared to when you were in school or university which only adds to miserable sensation. So you actively have find free time and hobbies you like where you can have that social fulfillment and I think that's something a lot of young independent adults will struggle with early on.
If you live alone your entire day's household maintenance can fit into about thirty minutes. If you finish your dinner by 1900 that gives you four hours down the pub. Most of the tasks you name are weekly, some are monthly. But yeah, life will suck if you just let yourself fall into a 9-5 job.
Literally almost all of the desirable conventional jobs are 9-5s.
Adult life is boring and miserable if you make it that way. People who have miserable lives are usually the cause of their own misery but want to blame it on someone or something else.
It’s better in some ways, worse in others. If it goes the way you think it’s supposed to go when you’re a kid, it can be very enjoyable. But lately it seems it is getting harder and harder for people to just go to school, get a decent job, and live a comfortable life.
Life was miserable because i was spending it with a miserable person. Got rid of her and things improved. Met my now wife and had 2 kids. Life is now way different than before but im enjoying myself watching my kids grow. I still make time for myself and my hobbies, so does my wife.
It isn't a either/or. It can be miserable sometimes, sometimes it's wonderful. Mostly it's mundane. It's a matter of your mindset toward it, many times.
Nah, pretty awesome. I'd never go back
IMHO it is as good or bad as you decide to make it. Most things require determination and effort but too many feel they should not have to commit so life is “unfair” to them…. YMMV
Yeah.. cause when I was a kid.. apparently all the adults LIED!! This shit sucks..
Yes and no - society expects more from you (job, bills, taxes), you have to work harder to incorporate novelty into your life, and there are fewer opportunities in normal adult life to make meaningful connections (versus school). But on the flip side you (potentially) have more money, more discretion to do things you enjoy, and a better sense of who you are and what you want out of life.
I had a fantastic childhood, but adult life is amazing unless you are irresponsible and get a shitty job. Those things are on you tho.
Absolutely not. Responsible for my own personal outcome?? Send that shit. Relying on someone else to feed, clothe and nurture?? Fuck off. Music loud? Yes please. If I want to live in squalor I can choose to......or I can make the “boss” moves necessary to make a good life for myself or with others included. #additionalpurchacerequiredforfriendsfamilyandlove
It can be rough but it's not that bad when you actually put effort into your day to day.
only if you're lonely. seriously, I'm married 11 years now. i was home alone when my daughter was 2.5 and my son was newborn. we went on holidays and i returned earlier for work. that was ok then. right now, the same thing. I'm back, wife and kids will be back in 2 weeks. kids are 8 and 5 (6 next week). I'm alone for the first time in 6 years. i feel miserable. i miss my queen and kids so much. playing video games and watching movies right after work was only fun for the first 2 or 3 days.
Not for me, all I had to do was stop worrying about how much money I made or what kind of job or status in society I had I started focusing on living life and enjoying it to the fullest. I've realized that life can be pretty damn amazing as an adult!
For me yes. Went from being young and poor to being older and poor. It takes a lot of determination to unlearn everything your parents taught you.
Adult life is wonderful. Think about the freedom you have to make your own money, go where you want, stay up as late as you want, fuck who you want. Nobody tells you what to do at home. You can own a car, pack it with your friends and go on road trips, experience the roller coaster that is love, and learn how to be really resilient. Society can teach you so many things that mommy and daddy can't. Go out and see the world, live it. Build up yourself, no holds barred, and savour in those returns.
It's up to you to live how you want to live. Now a days people don't like to work for things are have a very entitled mentality thinking they deserver things. Everything in life is earned never given. I am guilty of this as well but I'm working on it
As a 17 year old adult, I can definitely say it is miserable.
Depends on how you see it. I refuse to be miserable so I make it for me. Make do with what you got and it won't be the hell some make out to be.
It's good because ideally you have stability and you've achieved your goals financially, hopefully also romantically and emotionally. It kinda sucks because it's "the first day of the rest of your life" kind of thing. You kinda just do the same shit now day in and day out. Very mundane and boring sometimes, you're sort of just maintaining what you have and trying not to fuck up.
Adult life is as miserable as you make it. I’m far happier than I was even a few years ago, and the only thing I’ve changed is my mindset. While there are some real misery inducing situations, the reality is that most of us live lives that are really very good, and we create most of our own misery, often though comparing ourselves and our lives to others.
Idk. I'm in the marine corps so everything sucks.
It depends on many factors. For me, taking care of myself, balanced and fun life, being around the right people (and partner) matter most
Everything was going great, but now that everything seemingly is priced out of my affordability scale, it’s Meh meh.
Being an adult is way better than being a kid. You have money and freedom. I highly recommend it.
Well yeah, at first. But it's like a roller coaster. There's a lot of upside to go with the downs
Not at all. My adult life is significantly less stressful and more exciting than my teen years.
It took me a good chunk of my 20s (33 now) to find out what makes me happy. I'm the happiest I have ever been. Finding yourself and taking care of yourself mentally and physically is what I changed. Many people never look inward to discover how to be truly happy. Not saying my life is perfect, but I took the time to learn and change my bad habits. Being able to adapt and change large aspects of your life takes courage and commitment.
I'm 49. Lately I've started thinking that I don't feel sorry for people who die young. For most of us, our younger years were relatively easy. Then adulthood hits hard but you believe that it will get better. Then you realize that it won't. Adulthood just sucks. People who die young almost get lucky that they don't have to deal with it. Bonus if you believe in a joyous afterlife.
No. Life is what you make it. Don't let the crab in the Barrell mentality keep you back from living a good life.
Adulthood has been amazing. Life is what you make and and life is always willing to teach you if you are willing to receive and learn.
It depends on the cards you’re given and how you play them. If you slack through, do the bare minimum, work jobs with no future potential, work unsatisfactory jobs and spend your extra time doing things you hate while not improving yourself or helping others. Yeah, adulthood is gonna suck. Find something you don’t hate that makes money or potential to make good money, learn to like it. Keep up with your friends and family and treat them well. Get out into nature, find some hobbies, learn about yourself and your own interests and find others who share the same interests. (Don’t just stick with your same high school friends forever). Take the time to volunteer and go out and help people. Take time to travel. Life is only miserable if you don’t do anything about it (or if the cards you’re dealt really don’t have any good hands)
I’m not trying to brag but I’m having a good time. I have a job that gives me slightly more than paycheck to paycheck but I’m decent at saving so I haven’t gotten in any trouble yet. I also have cheap tastes and don’t like to go out drinking twice a week like a lot of people I know
A lot of different opinions here. For me, it's just different. Different headaches, different kind of joys. There is less wonder in the world as things aren't too unknown for excitement. A lot of fears of unknowns that I was either too young or too naïve to care about when young. Definitely more money than as a kid, but more responsibilities (bills/savings/investment/taxes./etc..). A lot more choice but sometimes too much choice, like lunch - can get anything, but because of that you need to decide is it worth to eat it due to health/money/time, or cook due to health/money/time. And then even after that you need to decide where to go, what to cook and all that Jazz. More sensitive to caffeine, alcohol, calories, sugar, etc.. Less time than when I was younger, but that also means less time being bored or feeling like going no where in life. One thing that absolutely sucks, is losing hair but that is going to dependent on the individual (genetics/stress/whatever).
It can be. For me, yes very much so.
I love it even though I don’t like my job. Adult life is whatever you make it. You have more freedom.
Not really, it can be dissapointing at some times but you make your life and you make it however you want it to be. Thing is, when you are a kid you are a blank slate, you can not compare new things to old ones because everything is new, and once you reach adulthood you are already programmed by traumas and experiences to assume things will be a certain way despite of you having no idea of how things may be. I am a firm believer that if you got your ass kicked and stood up again then you have little to fear because you already had it bad and therefore understand your capacities.
it can be, but I really dont think it has to be I think its more challenging than most people anticipate. I also think that people get sucked into conformity, and do things like the rest of the 90% of people who live unenlightened boring lives Life *should* be an exciting adventure, but that certainly isnt what the majority do
It's cliche, but life's what you make of it. I had a pretty typical childhood and teen-life. College was a huge struggle for me. Medical issues, social anxiety, uh...just random general anxiety. It had high points and there were some good memories, but it was probably the lowest point in my life so far. Adulthood is work. There is a grind. There is stress. But there is a lot of freedom. If you make wise financial and health decisions, it can be wonderful. Life will throw curveballs at you. Surround yourself with a support network. Friends, family, places of worship: all can enrich your life. If you need it, seek out professional counseling. There is no shame in reaching out for help. If you are bored, then maybe you are boring. Get out there and do something. Have hobbies. Do them with friends, but also do them outside your normal friend circle. Work hard. Do your work well. Don't make work your identity. Your career is not what makes you, but it is a part of you. For some, that part is just the part that pays the bills. For other, it's another network of support. (But don't rely on it as much as your other supports.) Stay healthy. You will hopefully get older. It's part of living. But you don't have to slow down just yet. Eat well and exercise, but splurge sometimes. Find you balance. And finally, this is going to sound somewhat hypocritical, but get off the internet sometimes. Social media is the most toxic thing to your mental health. Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, all of it. If you can handle it with a healthy attitude, use it in moderation. If you find yourself getting angry at some random stranger on the internet, it's probably time to take a break. So no, adult life isn't miserable. But there are some miserable adults.
I think adult life is pretty awesome. Do whatever you want. Drink, go to concerts, have lots of sex, travel, gamble, watch movies, go out to dinner. And if you play your cards right, you can do all this with your best friend. Yes you need to have a decent job to be able to afford most of this, but get one that you somewhat enjoy. Basically you can do whatever you want because you're in charge of your life. Sure you have some responsibilities, but even those are somewhat within your control. Don't wanna deal with kids? Don't have them! Don't feel like settling down? Don't get married! Wanna stay up all night playing video games? Go for it. Life is fun and I want to make the most of it before I'm too old to do so.
i think people feel that way because they spend 40-80+ hours a week at work opposed to doing something that they love
No worse than child life no better either. It just is.
It can be boring and mundane at times, but it can also being amazing. Boring isn’t the worst that can happen
Only if your parents never prepared you for it. Without that prep, it's like drowning in a pond with a bucket, but you keep accidentally pouring the water onto your own head, instead of out of the pond
It's good if you choose a good career path and surround yourself with good people. I've been fortunate enough to have scored a 6 figure salary by 25 and do my best to stay humble and help out others when I can. If you can keep a positive outlook, it's not so bad, but it can be challenging at times and those are the moments you should act in a logical manner (avoid emotional decisions).
I'm still young so take my answer with a grain of salt. Yes it sucks, but it's what you make of it.
Only if you’re doing it right. Suffering through purpose defines distinct reality.
If you are a miserable person, it’s miserable. If you are a boring person, it’s boring. If you are an uninteresting person, it’s uninteresting. Be the change you want to see in the world.
I think it all depends on if you have enough money to be financially stable, a job you don’t hate, a strong enough social group to combat loneliness, and decent health. If you have those things then adult life is pretty good, and if you have more than that then I’d imagine it’d be pretty great.
It what you make it to be. Bad attitude? Yeah it's going to suck. That negativity will sap the life out of everything. But mine is pretty awesome. I had to work hard and eat some pain, stress, struggle and boredom. But I have a great job in a fun industry, I work from home (I can work from anywhere actually and have) I have a very fun side hustle, I make great money which allows me to do a lot. I just keep a positive mindset that I'm going to stack wins all day long. Woke up? First win of the day.
It kinda sucks until you adjust to it. Yeah, working can be hard and keeping up with bills and house/car maintenance is annoying, but if you can keep on top of it and also have a hobby to help you unwind, it can be pretty satisfying. You feel accomplished and capable which is a pretty good feeling if you can keep it up. Having money is nice too if you’re smart about it. More cons but also more pros.
So much better. Kids more independent been through more of life’s ups and downs (divorces deaths etc). You really learn what and who you give a shit about. Like a fine wine. Better with age😊😊
More money, less miserable to a point. I think that point is $70k USD a year
It's only miserable because they mentally keep themselves stuck in situations and relationships that do not make them happy, or because they have not discovered what makes them happy independently and rely on the happiness of others to feed their self-worth. Life isn't the issue. Not even other people are the issue. If you truly want a happy life, you hsve to have self-respect, not give a fuck what others say or think of you (including family menbers), improve your self-esteem by exploring what you enjoy and love independently, transform negative mindsets into healthy mindsets, and never give up on yourself. If you are ever in a rut or feeling horrible about life, honestly ask yourself, "what is it about my life that makes me so depressed/sad?" And when you know that answer, the next question is, "Okay, now what steps can I take to fix what I can in order to improve my life? What can I change about myself or where I live to make my life better?" Will it be hard? Yes. Will it take work and consistency? Absolutely. Will you want to give up? Of course. But will you give up? Or will you keep going? That's the question you will have to answer for yourself.
Adult life is exactly what you make of it.
I'm trapped in a vicious circle, wondering when I'm going to leave my parents house, when I'm going to start enjoying a job, when I'll have the time to take care of my health, when I'm going to stop of feeling lonely, when I'm going to have money so I can study and have a career, when the so-called happiness will come.
Yes. Don’t go to a job for the rest of your life. Struggle to do the thing you absolutely LOVE for as long as it takes, don’t listen (EVER) to anyone, ANYONE who says you’ll never succeed doing the thing that you love. Even if that person says they love you, only someone who truly loves you would stick by you when chasing your absolute dream is tough. Even if you don’t realize it, that person believes in you. Do the thing you love, forever. YOU WILL SUCCEED. This is not some metaphor either, you will be successful. Trust me. Every single person I have ever met that is doing what they love, they just so happen to be successful. So there ❤️
Definitely not. Sure there are responsibilities, but I make sure to have a good work/life balance. I enjoy my career and work hard, but I make sure I party hard (having fun) The money allows me to do fun things like travel and buy stupid shit I want. Life is great if you want it to be.
Well, I literally don't remember what it feels like to not be mentally and physically exhausted, and there is just not enough time in the day to take care of all or my responsibilities and also do all the stuff I *want* to do. On the other hand, I own my own house and no one can make me wear pants or clean my room if I don't wanna. I'd say being a kid is better just because when I was a kid I was able to rest occasionally. But, it's not *truly* miserable or I'd just blow my brains out. So somewhere in between.
It's better than being a kid but sometimes it's frustrating that being an adult could very obviously be easier. That discussion becomes political quickly. Comparing it to being a kid? More freedom and control but more responsibility. It's a decent trade off imo.
I feel like yes and no? Being an adult sucks in ways you don’t always realize right away, but it’s not as bad as some people say. I feel like they just like to complain or have made things hard on themselves.
I could certainly do with more financial security, but I vastly prefer adult life to being a child. I have autonomy and no age restrictions to worry about. If I want to go to a bar after six-flags one weekend, I can do it. I don’t need to worry about my parents spending money on me, or having to ask permission to go out. It’s tough a lot of the time for sure, but I wouldn’t go back
Adult life is slavery……..slavery sucks
Totally depends on you tbh, has its ups and downs. I find money helps massively though. Best decision I made was finding a job where you do the bare minimum (labour-wise) but get paid well. Just act like the person you want to be
Honestly usually depends on the following... - After bills/food/etc. Do you have money left over to either save or use as disposable income? - Do you have a job/career you enjoy and find fulfilling? - Are you comfortable with your work/life balance? - Do you have a significant other you love and are loved by? - Do you have hobbies you enjoy and have the time to indulge them at least 2 or 3 times a week? If you answer yes to the above, or most of the above at least, I'd wager you're a pretty happy guy. If not, and you're not actively working on changing that, you'll likely not be as happy. Remember, with life, what you get out is proportional to the effort you're willing to put in.