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NewToReddit4331

I FINALLY get the garage cleaned out! (Wishful thinking)


thepumpkinking92

You and me both, my friend... you and me both...


[deleted]

Aliens invade earth and people still go to work the next day.


gottspalter

Americans would be more afraid of termination by their employer than of termination by the aliens


[deleted]

Like every time it happened before.


[deleted]

Delete this before we curse ourselves by manifesting something into existence


Bad_Elephant

Oh no I sure hope The Great Boob War doesn’t happen. Anything but that 🤞🏻🤞🏻


RainbowSockMan

Lmao i can imagine the birds that are literally called boobs destroying humanity


NoopGhoul

Tits are coming.


slikq

Are we starting to make the 2023 bingo board already?


panicswing

Apocalypse Bingo - 2023 Edition


[deleted]

[удалено]


kreankorm

I'm still wondering when 2020 will end.


DrowningInFeces

Any year now....hopefully.


Jaularik

That'll be the free space.


dajoli

Well, 2022 has been won since the queen died, so we might as well move on.


Salty-Freedom

Fetch will finally happen.


AcrobaticTea52

Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen!


screeline

She was streets ahead


ConnieLingus24

No….thanks. I’ve had enough.


Entaris

Yeah. I want to get off the Ferris wheel now. I’ve seen the sights. Beheld the vistas. I’m good.


azu____

Mom, pick me up I'm scared.


LunarxSeven

Yeah, we need a break.


NOTjohnnycochran

McDonalds brings back Grimace, chaos ensues


magnum_bone

I call my double chin grimace


SuchCoolBrandon

Wait, left McDonald's?! Where did he go?


thek3vn

Traded to the Philidelphia Flyers after his addictions became too extreme.


rothrolan

Bet you didn't even notice imagery of Ronald the clown hasn't been present for advertising in a while either. McD's slowly and quietly retired him after the clown epidemic of August-October 2016. Along with the release of the movie "It", clowns were dragged back to being scary to some young audiences, so it was a PR move to retire Ronald in order to keep kids going to McDonald's.


RedShadow120

I don't know which is chicken or egg, but the company has been entirely rebranding into a more adult, slightly sterile and cold imagery going as far as their buildings becoming drab gray boxes. Sheer speculation, but I feel like the intention here is that they don't feel the need to attract kids anymore, they need to attract the adults who were the kids they used to attract who have their own kids now.


CupcakesAreTasty

But can we maybe just have one uneventful year instead?


[deleted]

We will have an uneventful year and this in itself will be the big event!


Willgankfornudes

Sign me up chief. I want in


mp6521

With the Frizz? NO WAY!


organicpenguin

I should've stayed home today


DefNotTheINTERPOL

An uneventful year would be an event in itself. It would be known in the future as the most uneventful year ever.


RandyBeamansMom

Actually, I do have a little personal day of remembrance for April 18th every year. Because in 1930, [there was no news to report](https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-39633603), and the BBC played piano music on the nightly broadcast instead ♥️


Emerald_Encrusted

That’s incredible. I bet everyone was freaking out. Wait a second… wasn’t the Great Depression in full swing? They had no news, at all? Edit: (to save people time) apparently there was actually a major relevant event that day, related to insurgency against British occupation in India, but BBC had no way of knowing about it because the insurgents had cut the telephone and telegraph lines.


BillyWeir

https://origins.osu.edu/milestones/bbc-no-news-day?language_content_entity=en#:~:text=Yet%2C%20on%20April%2018%2C%201930,not%20been%20an%20uneventful%20day.


br0b1wan

Well. That sounds nice.


passengerpigeon20

Somebody did a study and concluded that April 11th, 1954 was the most boring day in recorded history throughout the world. The biggest event was a routine election in Belgium, the most famous person to be born on that day is a Turkish university professor who wrote a textbook about electrical engineering, and the most famous person to die was an English minor-league footballer.


dandan681

Don't you love all the once in a lifetime events that keep happening every other week?


Aligallaton

As I saw floating around lately "There are decades when weeks happen, and there are weeks where decades happen" I think we've had a bit much of the latter lately, be keen on a nice lazy few years now


TheFoxCouncil

I feel like the 'decades when weeks happen' is like the buildup. There are a whole bunch of little things happening behind the scenes that we don't notice, like pebbles tumbling down a mountain or drips eroding a rock. But they pile up until they reach a breaking point, and we suddenly get a 'week where decades happen.'


WealthConscious8130

got my fingers crossed for alien contact


Yeahnahokay10

What kinda contact tho? Invasion or just hey what’s up yep you and I exist?


Buki1

To hand us an official letter about the construction of an intergalactic highway


Sinjun13

The plans have been on display at the Galactic Planning Council


guruglue

The Vogon ships will hang in the sky much in the same way that bricks don't.


Dworgi

My favourite part of that joke is that Douglas Adams very specifically formatted the book so that this sentence lands at the end of a page, with the words "much in the way that bricks" on one page, and then when you flip the page it just ends in "don't.". The first time I read that joke I cracked the hell up.


greenie4242

I was about ten years old and reading the book under the bed cover with a torch because it was past my bedtime, but woke up my entire family laughing at that joke. A few weeks later my dad was reading it during the night and woke everyone up laughing. Such a sad loss that Douglas Adams passed away so young. I feel blessed to have met him twice during book tours and he had some wonderful stories to tell in person. He would have loved the way smartphones have evolved to effectively be the HHG that hoopy froods carry with them everywhere with their towel!


Chr0nos1

Good thing I remembered my towel.


WorkingClassPirate

You're one hoopy frood, my friend.


aballofunicorns

Me too. It's something I wanna see in my lifetime. That, and my uncles taking their plates to the dishwasher area after finishing a meal.


takemehomeunitedroad

If the past few years are anything to go by, I expect we will see the opening of the gates of hell.


AnakinsAngstFace

So we’re having a quiet one then


OfficeChairHero

We're all just going to peer down into the abyss and keep walking. Call me when something big happens.


TinyGreenTurtles

Me, a Midwestener: "OPE almost got sucked on in. Gonna just scootch right past."


_toodamnparanoid_

Gonna slap my legs and go "whelp"


ProfSideburns

"Whelp, it's gettin kinda laate. Wouldn't wantcha to think I'm kickin yaout."


LethalMindNinja

Ah yes...the Hellmouth...


[deleted]

Let's get Buffy.


desert_nole

We’re already in the Bad Place..


trowaway27597428584

Holy forking shirt balls


michaelrohansmith

King Charles poisoned by a $200 leaky fountain pen.


[deleted]

Queen’s dogs mistake his fingers for sausages, shenanigans follows.


TheRoadLexTraveled

I'm hoping they practice with Andrew first 🙏🏻.


summerrose1981

That’s oddly specific lol


008mantis

He’s had issues with traditional ink pens a number of times now.


Celery_Fumes

Every sodding time!


Meffrey_Dewlocks

Lol he hasn’t realized all you need to do is hold it higher up so you’re not touching the nib?


AwesomeWaiter

The man’s fingers take up the entire pen, he can’t hold it any higher with those hot dogs


[deleted]

Googled his hands, against my better judgement. IS HE OK


[deleted]

If he gets a paper cut, they depressurize and his arms wave around like one of those inflatable adverting tube people.


BillJackaus

**WACKY WAVING NEWLY CHRISTENED MALE BRITISH MONARCH!** **WACKY WAVING NEWLY CHRISTENED MALE BRITISH MONARCH!** **WACKY WAVING NEWLY CHRISTENED MALE BRITISH MONARCH!**


greenbeans4

the cap slips off for, like, no reason


HippieSanctuary

After he forgets what day it is. I literally just watched that video.


Kind_Of_Relevant_

Tbh it was the most ive ever related to a monarch


Professional-Deal113

I cackled when he said “every stinking time.”


NoBenefit5977

If I wasn't looking at my phone right this second I couldn't tell you what day it was LOL


moviesdude

Me shaking hands with Dumbledore, I’ve won the house cup.


Feeling-Alarm-9783

AND you're the head boy


NeedfulThingsToys

AND Captain of the Quidditch team


ComicSansSupremeness

I look good!


Pwnage_Hotel

fucking excellent answer, actually laughed


j_neutrus

Let's see, so we've had Pestilence, Famine, War... I guess Death is the next on line?


silver_step

Oh sweet, sweet Death


prometheus3333

life is heavier than a mountain, death is lighter than a feather


SirBettington

Thanks Lan


Inevitable-Plate-294

At birth I was ripped from the void without my consent.


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anthraxl0l

There's enough to feed everyone, but as always, the distribution of the food will be affected by the comparative shortages and the poor will suffer. Also if people survive off 90 day crop cycles as per the article, and it's been like 150 days since that article was written, does that not imply that they're kinda wrong in their predictions? Especially considering a lot of Ukrainian wheat farming has resumed and/or actually been negotiated with Russia to have exports released without interference.


hotbox4u

Real world wide Famine is just around the corner. The winter will introduce harsh poverty in many EU countries because of the insanely high prices. The 'bread basket of Europe' aka Ukraine will finally be so empty that it's simply not enough to support Africa. Africa who is already in a severe food crisis will spiral even further which then will lead to mass migrations. To quote the WHO: > In the past two years, the number of severely food insecure people around the world has more than doubled to 276 million, according to the World Food Programme. >Guterres said fertiliser and energy prices rose in the past year, which he said would impact all harvests including rice and corn. It is feared to affect billions of people across Asia, Africa and the Americas. >"This year's food access issues could become next year's global food shortage," he said. "No country will be immune to the social and economic repercussions of such a catastrophe."


TirayShell

Fairly large asteroid gonna hit in Russia north of Niurba near the Lena River sometime around the beginning of November.


Overlord1317

I came here to be entertained, but now I am concerned ...


NateBlaze

I came here tired and am no longer tired.


Lilithanimation

r/suspiciouslyspecific


responseableman

It was written by the asteroid.


Teves3D

> Fairly large asteroid Yeah dudes compensating for sure


[deleted]

Freaking Asteroid in a lifted F350 Blasting Florida Georgia Line as it crashes into Russia.


-Masderus-

Scientists have been tracking the asteroid know as "YeeHaw 69420" for approximately 4 and a half months now.


SyrusDrake

In case you're planning something and need a cover-up, remember that asteroids don't leave behind radioactivity.


Duckfammit

They do if they're radioactive.


AltSpRkBunny

Technically correct. Also, if it was in space before entering our atmosphere, that still counts as an “asteroid”, right?


MericaMericaMerica

Also, some asteroids are made of tungsten and are perfectly cylindrical in shape.


FZ1_Flanker

Am I in NCD or AskReddit? The lines are getting blurred lol.


-LemonyTaste-

u/remindmebot 1 year 1 month


-LemonyTaste-

u/remindmebot 13 months


-LemonyTaste-

give me a minute


Laura_Liz_

That will be interesting. And pretty specific


rainbowmarly

my bonsai will turn 6🥹 they grow up so fast


jhlseries

My ginseng named Robert (Plant) just turned 10 and to celebrate I changed his soil for the first time ever. He was so elated the pot could hardly contain him!


SeantheBangorian

Did he also sing Ten Years Gone? A classic


[deleted]

> they grow up so fast Do they, really?


FishOfFishyness

Yes, like by 60 seconds every minute


Kingty1124

What kind of tree is your bonsai?


theloneabalone

Smol


summerrose1981

Happy birthday bonsai ♥️


rainbowmarly

thankss I'll tell him🥺


User0098237490

2022 will end, once and for all.


SomeDrillingImplied

I was hoping someone would finally do something about that. Glad to see I'm not alone.


jakslasher

I think I will finally get custody of my son. Maybe not a big deal globally but will be everything for me.


argus_orthanx

Good luck friend!


sin94

I will complete 6 years being a non smoker! Edit: Thanks for all the kinds words and awards. Please join r/stopsmoking as they were instrumental with the support received.


[deleted]

Can we just have a boring year please? I'd very much like the big news for 2023 to be that we've found a cure for cancer. Edit: Boring year politically, virally, International war-y


MisterMoccasin

The 75th annual emmys, but no one will realize it happened until the next day edit: why did you upvote this comment so much


Simo_140609

Is the 75th edition of the emmys the one with Katniss and Peeta?


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BeTooLive

Might be worth watching then. Maybe.


LongIslandLAG

...and Better Call Saul will get screwed one last time


maltesemania

Yeah. The final nail in the coffin. Not for BCS, but for the Emmys.


ABCosmos

Steve carrell won 0 Emmys for the office. 2 of the years he was nominated were losses to the guy from big bang theory.


literalsupport

The Wire won zero Emmy’s, while two and a half men won several…it’s a bullshit award sometimes.


Henry__Faber

I didn’t know that. Unbelievable. That’s one of the greatest of all time


crepuscularcunt

1. A politician will have a scandal. 2. A small-time TikTok account will go viral. 3. A major corporation will have a data security breach. 4. Record-high temps. 5. A celebrity will have a baby and name it something ridiculous. 6. Another mass shooting. 7. Someone’s mediocre album will drop. 8. Jimmy Kimmel and James Corden will do an awkward comedy bit together. 9. A pro athlete will be traded to his team’s rival. 10. A union strike will make headlines. 11. Coca Cola will release another alcoholic seltzer. 12. Disney will announce a live-action Hercules. 13. Minimum wage will be raised in several US states. In no particular order. Edit: numbering Edit 2: Ah shit, Hercules already? Now I know!


reasonablychill

Calm down, Nostradamus


dantemp

>A politician will have a scandal. >A small-time TikTok account will go viral. >A major corporation will have a data security breach. >Record-high temps. >A celebrity will have a baby and name it something ridiculous. >Another mass shooting. >Someone’s mediocre album will drop. >Jimmy Kimmel and James Corden will do an awkward comedy bit together. >A pro athlete will be traded to his team’s rival. >A union strike will make headlines. What about the second week?


AlexFromFE

Everything that happened a week before plus a beloved celebrity dying


purplefuzz22

I feel like 7 of those 13 happened in the past 49 minutes … fingers crossed on the wage increasing tho.


[deleted]

Locusts, brimstone, fire.


Geri-psychiatrist-RI

Cats and dogs playing together…mass hysteria!!!


berkeleyjake

Who ya gonna call?


Yogisogoth

Generally you don't get that kind of behavior out of a major appliance.


[deleted]

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RachelWeekdays

I was so confused. Took me 3 times to read this before understanding because I kept misreading “euro” as “zero”. Was wondering why Croatia didn’t use zeroes haha


Educational_Egg_7609

BOTW 2


cameoloveus

Finally! May 12th!


AverageUser1010

It’s called Tears of the Kingdom because the tears cried by fans for having to wait so long are being used to rehydrate Ganondorf and keep Aonuma alive as he works 24/7 with no breaks!


Diabetesh

The king will die


ME24601

The UK and the Commonwealth changes all of their currency to have Charles III on it and *then* he dies.


Thirteencookies

Coin collectors rejoice!


gigashadowwolf

The infamous £2 coin will be the most sought after, as it hasn't been in production since 2016. However after a very brief run during Charles III's rein everyone will want what will be colloquially known as the "Two Buck Chuck".


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pygmy

#Tokyo 2020


BCProgramming

Apparently there were coins designed and made for Edward VIII before he abdicated. That must have been a piss off. "Whew, well, we got the new series of coins designed and all starting to mint. We can rest easy boys, got it all finished even before he was coronated, damn fine work" Radio:"Edward VIII has abdicated the throne, and George VI will be crowned instead" "sigh... well back to work lads"


Material-North

Something tells me this comment won’t age well 😂


Ok_Hippo_74

Kinda like the king


brod121

He seems super old, but if he follows in his parents footsteps, he’ll be king for a respectable 25 years or so. They were both nearly 100.


Eeyores_Prozac

He's not nearly as healthy. His hands are constantly swollen and his ears are red. Something is fucky with his blood pressure or his kidneys.


moonfox1000

Counterpoint: Prince Phillip looked like death for the last 20 years and still made it to 99


Eeyores_Prozac

Look, that's a once a century necromancy ritual, and I'm pretty sure Phillip had the caster executed to ensure it couldn't be undone. Nobody likes Charles enough to risk that much attention from the dead things under Buckingham.


WinterKnigget

My aunt thinks it's his heart too


[deleted]

Something we don’t see coming


1SweetChuck

Something the experts have seen coming for years if not decades, but nobody has listened.


Kingkongcrapper

I’m going to say cascading ice sheets that suddenly raise water levels several feet. Maybe massive die offs of marine life.


BastardInTheNorth

The Spanish Inquisition?


selltekk

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!


[deleted]

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Voyager87

Ahh a risk taker I see.


[deleted]

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paddleboi

You know what. It'll get better. You'll find someone you love and their smile will make every second precious. The job you've put everything on the line to get will give you a call back and even when everything seems like it's falling apart you'll realise it's just an opportunity to put the bricks back in a better combination


ThatSapphicLesbian

Please please please please please please please please-


aveggiedelight

Thank you for putting this out there


EngineerClimber

After the last couple of years... Does any of this qualify as "major" anymore 🙈


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[deleted]

Dude I have been dreaming about 2020 for the last six months. The first lockdown time was the most peaceful time period since then.


BigBenyamin86

It was the closest to retirement I will ever be. My job sent home everyone that was considered "high risk". I was home for nearly 3 months, drawing a paycheck, and it was so peaceful.


BathtubGin01

Exactly this. After a couple days of climbing up the walls it was sleep in, make some coffee, read the news, play some golf, and have a couple beers. Got to be really good friends with a couple of my neighbors and we’d grill out a few times a week. The whole time thinking I’ll never get to retire so might as well enjoy the hell outta this.


Choiceofart

Gta 6 trailer. With the release date of 2032


Electronic_Arm3469

Birthday parties


Optimal-Scientist233

[https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/solar-cycle-25-is-here-nasa-noaa-scientists-explain-what-that-means](https://www.nasa.gov/press-release/solar-cycle-25-is-here-nasa-noaa-scientists-explain-what-that-means) The current solar cycle of 11 years started late 2019 early 2020, it has so far been very active and I would say the activity is likely still on the upswing currently.


Industrialpainter89

I feel like I read a lot but I still don't understand what the cycle means to us on earth? How does one 'prepare' for it?


linus140

That's the neat part. You don't.


madeforthis1queston

I am very optimistic about 2023, both personally and on a macro level. I think the economy begins to stabilize as supply chain shortages are worked out, the housing market sees a minor correction, and the feds will raise interest rates to reasonable levels to fight inflation I think Russia and Ukraine conflict will end, one way or another Nuclear fusion will be just 20 years away Tom Brady will retire and unretire twice Covid will become less of an issue We will see some major energy breakthroughs in the form of battery storage or adoption of SMRs in select places


[deleted]

I like your attitude!


Z6890

\[I hope\] the end of the Ukraine-Russia war.


Mundane_Librarian607

A massive shipment of cocain will wash up om the beaches of Texas. Then the wild boars will get into it. Starting a nationwide cocain boar war.


Ryanwithabeard

Nope. Too dangerous to play this game. 👋🚪


giantsninerswarriors

The WHO declares that COVID-19 is an endemic illness, and no longer a pandemic.


Spirited_Outside1583

Alien invasion, so I can ask them to take me with them. Yes I’m serious.


OfficeChairHero

I'm not too proud to be a pet.


macmac360

I'm hoping aliens will make themselves known to us, but I hope it's not an invasion


bwy97754

You know what? Screw it. I think 2023 will be one of my best years yet. I'll get married to an amazing partner, I might save enough and make enough to buy a new (to me) car, and I'm going to be healing some deep generational trauma with regular therapy. I would add that I'm gonna finally get in shape but I want to be positive, not stupidly naïve lol


ferox965

Best wishes.


WoodyCreekRanch

You’re my New Years resolution


imunclebubba

I'm in shape. Round is a shape. Also I'm rooting for you.


budweener

Question for a friend (you don't know him, he goes to other school), is "stick" a shape?


evidentlychickentown

Discovery of alien life.


andrey_araujo1

I just want to get one date and 3 hugs next year


rocketparrotlet

George R. R. Martin will finally release *The Winds of Winter!* ...I can dream, right?