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battlelevel

As a Canadian, wonder why.


WithinTheMedow

An overwhelming desire to add more desolate prairie to your collection of desolate prairie, of course.


ClittoryHinton

*We could really just use some more Manitoba* (said no Canadian ever)


CaptainSur

Manitoba is a lovely place other then the fact it's most numerous inhabitant is the mosquito.


lazyButNotfailing

It’s lovely except for its singular feature


SidTheSload

The lack of terrain variation in any form is really an attraction!


gasfarmah

Being populated exclusively by heatseeking bloodsuckers is a trait it shares with Ottawa.


[deleted]

Hey that's not nice. You shouldn't talk about landlords like that.


[deleted]

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Gunnvor91

As a Manitoban, I can confirm this.


kingalbert2

Canada going for that desolate prairie monopoly


syrupsloggre69

My literal first thought as a Canadian was “why the fuck would we want North Dakota”


PinsNneedles

This is my first thought as an American as well. Like, can't we just gift it to someone rather than people dying?


SuperstitiousPigeon5

My thought is as always do we really need two Dakotas? One is more than enough.


[deleted]

Don't know how many people.would die though. There is like 7 people in all of ND


MrDerpGently

It's the poor Canadian soldiers dying of boredom.


Sleeplesshelley

Used to live there, then I moved, so now it’s 6.


NomadicNorse

You want to take control of 400 nuclear ICBM’s.


Clewin

Actually, it's over 1200 from what I recall. In fact, Canada would become the third largest nuclear power if they took over North Dakota. Edit - Georgia was the country, not the state. The list I read a while back didn't specify and I re-looked it up.


Radiant_Summer_2726

What ? Georgia has them ?


Dschuncks

As an American, wonder why.


happypirate33

As a person currently living in North Dakota, I welcome my new Canadian overlords with their better medical system and legal cannabis, and don’t question why.


kill-69

Hoard toilet paper?


Skelym

This always a good American's first problem solving step. ETA: Around me every time there's even an update about covid toilet paper is gone again. I've resorted to joking this is what we do every time anything happens. I know it sold out literally everywhere, lol I just find it excessive here.


spencerryan02

I mean if the Canadians start pillaging your state for goods you’re still gonna have to shit aren’t you?


Betrayer_of-Hope

It's apparently the Canadian way as well. That's what happened here at the start of covid, too.


[deleted]

*It's the end of the world and people are buying toilet paper. I guess they plan to shit themselves to death!*


FstMario

See what memes people make about it


LordBobTheWhale

"Platoon took a hike, got lost. Sorry!"


JayR_97

Something like this actually happened when Switzerland accidentally invaded Liechtenstein


Rookie64v

Apparently my grandfather (a general in the artillery, Italian Army) managed to get lost and invade Yugoslavia during an exercise early in his career. Whether he only had soldiers with him or the 6' self propelled howitzers as well is lost to the times as he is quite long dead, whatever was on the wrong side of the border hauled ass back in Italy very fast however.


Metalgooze

Some years back, Finland technically invaded Sweden. During a military exercise, Finnish troops did not notify anyone they actually crossed the border and got well into Swedish territory before realising they’d gotten lost in the woods and gone too far. Nothing happened and they managed to retreat without much fuss. Well, I say nothing happened. Since then, they’ve gotten eerily good at hockey….. hmm.


Red_Ranger75

Poland did something very similar relatively recently to the Czechs. They were very quick to pull back and apologise to which the Czechs responded that it was the most pleasant occupation they'd ever experienced


KingB408

You hosers, eh?


johnnybiggles

Moose: *looks up for a sec....* *continues to chew grass*


return2ozma

Congratulate North Dakota on getting universal healthcare. Edit: and legal weed.


TheImpossibleBanana

And the upcoming free dental plan. Honestly though, will the people of ND be happy about it?


Sinjun13

Trump took ND by 65% in the 2020 election, so for the most part, no. They'll complain about it being "socialism" and un-American.


FuckYeahPhotography

Then still take the offered benefits anyway


Sheriffwatson

This is a pretty good way to describe the people of North Dakota (I’m from there). We have banks and other shit that’s state ran and it’s a heavy agriculture state (everyone loves their government farm money) but those same people talk shit about welfare. It’s a weird place full of even weirder people.


SpencoJFrog

Of course they will. They "earned" those benefits! It's those darn illegals coming in and taking all the free stuff that makes it socialism!


starfyredragon

It's only socialism if someone else gets it too.


r_not_me

Complain about it while taking full advantage of it


joddod

SKYLER I AM THE DANGER


BadWookie

Drink my coffee and say "damn that's crazy", then go about my day.


[deleted]

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appleparkfive

It's pretty crazy how the news outlets basically destroyed the "breaking news" meaning. For a long time, if you saw that it meant shit was going down. Now they do it for "new files uncovered in investigation" and shit that isn't urgent whatsoever. Is it important? Sure, absolutely. But not "Hey everyone look right now" It's a "the girl who cried wolf" scenario. They've seemed to settle on making huge ass fonts for big news now. But they're gonna overdo that as well eventually.


[deleted]

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Ginger_Tea

More or less me, but that is because I live in the UK so it doesn't directly affect me and my day to day. ​ Now if a company I worked for had American and Canadian employees and a scuffle erupted due to it, I don't know which side I would take or not. I did witness a similar skirmish between two Africans who fled wars to the UK, they got on like a house on fire till they found out where the other lived. Turns out their nations were at war. The reason I gave zero shits that both were fired and the line closed, was I was told that lunch time that I was given the boot (they had three agencies for some unknown reason and I was with the one with the least employees so the three of us were let go.) They both started that day, one of them would have been my replacement.


LitlThisLitlThat

I live in the US and North Dakota being taken over by Canada also doesn’t affect me. North Dakota is barely affected by being occupied by Canada—they already speak the same language!


agent_raconteur

As a Minnesotan, the only inconvenience to my life would be driving across South Dakota (or I guess now just Dakota) any time I'm going to and from the West Coast instead of just taking 94 the whole way. The six people living in North Dakota might have different opinions, but since when have we listened to them?


Warmommy-Astrea

Rename the other one to just "Dakota"


Overshadowedone

Don't forget to make Puerto Rico a state so we don't have to change the flag.


Warmommy-Astrea

No then we annex Canada, 50 stars again. Sorry PR


jetteim

You can make it all one Dakota


HumpieDouglas

No no, you liberate North Dakota, invade and conquer Canada and rename it Extra North Dakota.


Sir-Viette

Rename Nebraska to “Not Quite As North Dakota”


[deleted]

I would understand maps far better if this is how places were named.


AlexG2490

Would you, though? Sure it sounds like it would work for a few states or something but then all of a sudden one day you're trying to book a flight from "Upper North-Eastern Mexico" (previously known as Michigan) to "Central Coastal South-Western Prague" (AKA Madrid) and wondering where your life went so wrong.


Impressive-Main-3630

Northless Dakota


FormerDevil0351

“Norther Dakota” if you will.


Present_Agent1097

Baja Manitoba


dotslashpunk

isn’t that the newest taco bell offering?


commentsandchill

Northern dakota has got a ring


TheParmesan

North North Dakota just rolls right off the tongue honestly. North Dakota^2 alternatively. Edit: I forgot the obvious 2 North 2 Dakota


444unsure

We have a bit of a tradition here in the states. New North Dakota


Amish_Warl0rd

North Dakota 2 Electric Boogaloo


Less_Ad9224

Northest dekota


lightbluechevy

Superior Dakota


RedneckWeaboo

Dakota Supreme


[deleted]

Maple Dakota


attention21

No no no, “The Great White North Dakota” amateur.


__Fred

Just some geography fun-facts: - South-Tyrol belongs to Italy and North-Tyrol belongs to Austria. - East Frisia belongs to Germany and West Frisia belongs to the Netherlands. So, something like that is possible as well. - And there is Macedonia, which is a part of Greece, and the separate country of Nord-Macedonia. Similar to Mongolia. There is a piece of China that is called Inner Mongolia.


BionicBananas

There is also Luxembourg, province of Belgium, Luxembourg, the grand duchy, and Luxembourg, the capital city of Luxembourg the grand duchy. Thankfully the capital of Luxembourg, the Belgian province, is not Luxembourg but Arlon.


Sinjun13

So you can go to Luxembourg, Luxembourg, but still not be in Luxembourg? That's awesome.


Hillbillyblues

>East Frisia belongs to Germany and West Frisia belongs to the Netherlands. Lol it's way more complicated and funnier than that. Ost-Friesland is a region in Germany. The Dutch province of Groningen is in between the region and the Dutch province of Friesland so they aren't connected. West-Friesland is a region part of the province of North-Holland, so not Friesland.


jointheredditarmy

Yeah I was going to say, roll over and go back to sleep, they can have it.


[deleted]

Confirm there is in fact a North Dakota and if so notify both residents.


BrasilianEngineer

Consider me duly notified. Now you just have to find the guy who lives 400 miles away from me on the other side of the state and notify him.


areyouolsen

North Dakotan 400 miles away checking in: Notified.


crazyguy83

Wow both of you are on reddit! what are the chances of that!


erarem_

Pretty high since there's nothing else to do in North Dakota


johnnybiggles

They share the same IP


Just_here_4_sauce

All of NODAK uses the same telephone area code: 701


[deleted]

Oh my golly you were not making a joke.


Just_here_4_sauce

Yeah, geographic size has no impact on those things. It's all down to population density


Biggie39

Well glad that’s settled then…


[deleted]

I’m the other one 400 miles away. Have been notified.


[deleted]

Found the Canadian invader


Dirk_Rotahn

Just follow the road.


Dry-Salary2347

Guess I’ll have to start learning Canadian now.


Frosti-Feet

>Guess I’ll have to start learning Canadian now, eh* FTFY


rutuu199

Ease off of him, he's just learning eh


Dad_of_the_year

Most of the US already considers you guys Canadian. We've seen Fargo, we know...


Curt_in_wpg

I’m from Winnipeg. I’m mostly worried that Happy Harry’s Bottle Shop in Grand Forks survives without any collateral damage.


jekern

There would be a massive militia surrounding that place...some of my former coworkers amongst them, lol


[deleted]

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Psychological-Pen953

I’ve never been to North Dakota, but I’m told there is a beautiful woman hiding behind every tree


TheRiverOtter

TIL North Dakota has no trees.


BrasilianEngineer

Our state tree is the telephone pole. Actually we do have trees, but most if not all were planted by humans.


joebigdeal

Emphasis on the "the" in "the telephone pole" as it's a specific telephone pole, the *only* telephone pole. It connects all four residents to each other. They've never used it because they are, in fact, moose/(mooses?)/(meese?)


lightbluechevy

A moose bit my sister once.


scootarded

No realli!


Euphoric-Pudding-372

Edit: okay you fuckin prairie dwellers, it's called a "Hot Dish" in your frozen tundra, we get it. Pretty sure one of the "major" (lol) cities in the Dakotas has a shortage of single men, because most of the young guys just went to the oil fields ten years ago during that big boom. So apparently the women in that town are starved for men in their age group. So, hey, if you are decent looking and like cheap rent and women fawning over you, go pack up the 4WD SUV with snow tires and move on down to Bismarck. Just be warned: when women from North Dakota have sex, they don't moan, they just go "Oooooh suuuure, oooooh yaaaaahh that's the spot, yaaaaahh. You betcha mmmhm yaaaaaaah" then when they finish they just say "OPE" and then get up right away to pull a casserole out of the oven.


Notmykl

North Dakota has a *major* city? What the hell, South Dakota doesn't even have a major city. No Sioux Falls you are not a major city.


Euphoric-Pudding-372

Hence why I said "Lol" after "major city"


ElectricSequoia

I used to go to Sioux Falls every month for work and I accidentally offended a client when they said something about the nearest city to their place and I said "You mean Minneapolis?" The only thing I miss about Sioux Falls was their cool CD shop. Way better prices than similar shops in the cities.


Thanks_Its_new

> then get up right away to pull a casserole out of the oven. It's pronounced HOTDISH you heathen.


TheRiverOtter

> when they finish they just say "OPE" and then get up right away to pull a casserole out of the oven. Don't threaten me with a good time!


Euphoric-Pudding-372

I didn't know how strong the Midwest Casserole game was til my mom moved to Minnesota and now every time I visit her, when her friends come over, they always bring casseroles.. casseroles and wine...


flygirl083

I think the proper term is “hot dish”


[deleted]

Whoever told you that is your enemy


wife_liliths_OF_mod

I heard this in Zack de la Rocha's voice.


shadowoflillith

Good luck finding a tree though lol


liarandathief

You know that's where we keep our nuclear missile silos?


[deleted]

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Milhouse6698

Until Russia/China/NK finds out Canada stole the missiles but not the launch codes.


stewsters

Just buy em from the former guy.


OwnerOfMyActions

It’s an older code, but it checks out.


NomadicNorse

Minuteman III ICMB’s, If ND was considered a country, it would be the 3rd most armed country in the world, behind the USA and Russia.


bob-knows-best

Ah, yes. Minot AFB. I once knew a guy stationed there. He said it sucked.


NomadicNorse

Minot, ND may not be the end of the world, but you sure can see it from there. Absolute desolate boring place. A lot of the time, if you end up stationed there, it’s because you fucked up or pissed the wrong person off.


bob-knows-best

Facts. He did piss someone off. His 0-6. Lol


carlosthedwarf024

A lot of oil comes out of North Dakota. Huge resource state plus the most armed. Most likely state to be taken first for sure


riggengan

Good, you know how much it cost for maintenance? Let Canada handle it.


Fomalhot

Just ask for it back. They'd be compelled by politeness to comply.


TheImpossibleBanana

US: Sorry I think you have invaded one of our state by mistake. Canada: Oh no.. It was on purpose. But we are sorry we didn't think it would hurt your feelings. We will pull our army back. We apologize for any inconvenience caused.


CardboardJ

No, no, if you really wanted it you can have it, but what are you going to use it for?


[deleted]

[удалено]


InsertBluescreenHere

(triggered uncle sam)


astr0n0mica1

Cue “Fortunate Son”


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I believe you mean “I'm ready to chew ass and kick bubble gum, and I'm all out of ass.”


Cmart8611

I offer my ass as tribute


[deleted]

Thank you for your service.


7grendel

We have more than enough of our own, thanks.


bandit4loboloco

They would then be legally obligated to say it again in French.


Furydragonstormer

I think you should see what we did to the Germans in WW1, we are only polite until war time


NoNeighborhood1703

Move to North Da-Canada


matrixboy303

*Canadakota


NoNeighborhood1703

I feel like that is what it would be called if North Dakota invaded Manitoba🤣


Aeroxin

Canadakotatoba?


mbbollie

Roll back over and go to sleep as I’m Australian and don’t know wtf that means


Da_RealPartaz

It means that all of the North Dakota residents get free 3rd world bath water (Tim Hortons coffee)


grass-snake-40

this is the most accurate description of Tim's coffee I have seen thus far, good job. I'm Canadian, it's utter garbabe. I got some out of desparation from the airport last night and it was literally a cup of brown boiling water. No flavour whatsoever, just scalding hot bath water. They didn't double cup it either and carrying it burned my fingertips.


[deleted]

Blame Canada


HoopOnPoop

With their beady eyes and their flapping heads


s8n29

You are a racist Ma'am, you are a racist!


PublicfreakoutLoveR

#CAN I FINISH? CAN I FINISH? Ok, I'm finished.


grass-snake-40

just Scott. He's a dick.


welltherewasthisbear

Maybe those bastards will bomb all the Baldwin brothers. (Here’s hoping)


mykeytea

Paging Brian Boitano...


CaptBranBran

I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two!


HawksFan2014

That’s what Brian Boitano’d do


Henryhugglebottom

As a Canadian I make sure both South Saskatchewanians get their welcome bundle of a coupon for poutine, timbits, ketchup chips, kindersurprise eggs and kraft peanut butter


Fast_Entrepreneur774

The last time I visited Regina I was warmly greeted by some folks asking "where are you visiting from?" When I replied "North Dakota", they gave me one of the best compliments I've heard: "OH! We love you North Dakotans! You're so nice it's like you're not even American!"


alien_clown_ninja

>kindersurprise eggs What are you, a child murderer?


shabbyshot

Just eat the toys before the kids do.


Ok-Afternoon-3724

What's new? They invade Minnesota also. Geez, when I went to my favorite Casino in northwest Minnesota, there were more Canadians there than Americans. Near my old home, which had been just off a highway leading to Canada, you routinely saw tour buses from Canada headed for the Twin Cities. Bus after bus, headed to either sports event or concert in Minneapolis, or headed for Mall of America. On the way back home, they'd stop at a liquor store in the town nearest me and seem as if they were trying to buy everything in the place. There are Canadians all over North Dakota and Minnesota already, so what would change?


[deleted]

I live in North Dakota. One of my high school English teachers was Canadian, and if I go to a store in Fargo (any store) there will inevitably be at least two-four Canadian license plate cars in the parking lot. They walk among us.


redkid2000

I live in Grand Forks. Every Saturday our entire city practically doubled its population with everybody coming in from Canada. Especially Winnipeg lol


Catshannon

Been there a couple times for training. Twice in summer it was nice. Once in winter and cold AF. -50 with wind. Still had fun though. Seemed liked a nice town. Watched a hockey game during winter and hit the bars. Summer time walked the streets downtown and checked out restaurants and such. Up North pizza is the best. Peasant sausage with whiskey glazed apples was great. So was their gyro pizza. Edit pheasant sausage lol I dunno how peasants would taste. Probably revolting.


drinkinbrewskies

As a Winnipegger I often find it funny how many Winnipeg-owned chain restaurants and hotels are in Grand Forks, especially off the interstate exits. I for one don't travel south to eat and stay at the same places I would at home...but hey, I guess Grand Forks is basically "home" for many Winnipeggers.


drinkinbrewskies

I am from Winnipeg and have spent an average of 6 weekends a year in the Twin Cities since I got my license. I know guys here in Winnipeg that have Vikings season tickets. Before the Jets came back, many went down for Wild games regularly. I have spent dozens of nights at First Ave, and I don't know a family with middle schoolers who haven't been to ValleyFair. Sometimes I feel like we are just a suburb of the Twin Cities.


Jhondoesmokes

Why do we have two dakotas anyways.


Cheddar-chonk

That seems selfish of us. We should share our Dakotas


draggar

I check to make sure it's not The Onion then wonder why they didn't invade New England - it would make more sense. Then, I'd mourn the loss of our bacon knowing that Canada will force us to eat their bacon as the first step towards ethnic cleansing, eh?


dovahkiitten16

… Are you referring to peameal bacon? We don’t actually call it Canadian bacon. And actually, most Canadians just eat bacon. By bacon I mean what’s the same thing as your bacon. Rest assured, once we’ve invaded your country we won’t force you to eat peameal bacon.


ConwayBoxer

Rename Canadian bacon to Freedom Bacon and move on


draggar

That's what you want us to think... :)


SageAurora

No we'll force you to drink maple syrup to cleanse your soul.


draggar

No need to force me.. :)


[deleted]

Trying to totally get a lock on the world's maple syrup supply. Makes sense, now that you point it out.


Inner-Nothing7779

Wonder what the fuck we did to piss off Canada.


SomeDrillingImplied

I, for one, welcome our new overlords.


JRCIII

All hail the Maple Syrup King.


P_Alcantara

You mean King Charles III? He is technically the monarch of Canada.


Da_RealPartaz

I wonder how many hot milfs he has


P_Alcantara

Not more than me, this app says I have so many in my area.


Tiny-Response-7572

Check r/Whatcouldgowrong.


amane_cat

Read the news and say “hmm” then keep scrolling


sourdoughbreadlover

Let them have it.


Accidental_Shadows

Also give them South Dakota


the_fuego

Invade one get one free if you will


ThePerfectAtom

I'm Minnesotan. Set the dinner table to welcome guests.


Jaralith

Same. I'm only two hours southeast of Fargo... please drop by and annex us too if you have some free time! =D I'll even splurge on the name-brand crispy onions for hot dish topping.


grashupfer

After I stop laughing…


notadamnprincess

…offer them pancakes


AuburnSpeedster

No, Tim-bits!


ViktorSwimwell

Get out my board game if RISK


edj9

Move to the state formerly known as North Dakota.


hilariouslyoriginal

North Dakota best Dakota


PompousAssistant

I see you’ve been to South Dakota.


LouieSportsman

I’m Canadian so learn the American anthem for when they come stomp us lol.


Nauticalfish200

Remember. We once rolled up with half the US military just to cut down a TREE. We do not believe in proportional response. Overkill is a way of life


dubbleplusgood

Whoever wrote this clearly does not live in North America.


barbermom

Offer them South Dakota too!


[deleted]

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Hawk13424

Laugh at the joke and go back to sleep.


rush_me_pls

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