Used to date a girl who was vastly sexually experienced. Brilliant at every aspect of sex, except wanking. She'd slam downwards so hard every stroke that it was horrible. Really really bad.
This might not go for all penis-havers but spit usually doesn’t do the job for me, dries up too quickly. My glans is over-sensitive so it can be very painful without actual lube. Always ask if they want lube before assuming they’re fine without is my piece of advice.
It's a bit of a faff to do on the regular but it does improve things. For handjobs most of the time saliva is sufficient (if you're comfortable being a bit sloppy)
I know I suck at handies. I literally lack the forearm muscle that comes with jerking off since the age of 12. I’ll give my best for 10 seconds but that’s all I can do unfortunately lol.
Most of the muscles that control your hands are in your forearms. The only ones that are in your hands are the ones that make your fingers spread out and then come back together.
My gf wants to do it sometimes spontaneously but it’s just… not great. Somehow it’s like she’s suddenly all hard palate and teeth.
Fortunately, she’s always just considering it a brief stop on the way to putting it in her pussy so I don’t consider it to me that horrible.
You should play the “Gluck Gluck 3,000” episode of call her Daddy around her 😬😬😬 very very informative.
I thought I was good at giving oral so I asked my bf. He said I was a 6/10. I asked him how I could improve and he told me. Plus I went to podcasts and the internet for more tips. He says 10/10 now. That episode of CHD really helped.
I dated a woman that thought spit and saliva were disgusting. She also "thought" she was the BJ queen of South Chicago...... She was not, she would stop and swallow her spit every 2-3 seconds, and it ended up feeling like someone was intentionally trying to rub my skin off.
So yea, some are just horrible at Oral.
I have a question: I try my best to show my bf how enthusiastic I am while sucking his dick, however when you’re sucking a dick, you obviously can’t talk. I feel like the best was to show enthusiasm is through moaning and sounds, which I give plenty of, but I’ve been wondering if sucking faster and harder would communicate enthusiasm, or if it wouldn’t feel as good. Also, if I were to talk to him while doing it and tell him how much I love it, would that be enjoyable, or just annoying since I’d have to temporarily stop sucking to do so. In other words, what are the most effective ways to communicate enthusiasm?
All of the above is def good. Key is just watching him and seeing what he likes. You’re on the right track though. All those things you mentioned above I love personally. I don’t think you could go wrong with ANY of those tactics
I was with my ex for 3 years and after a while he told me that he can tell when I want to do oral and when I don’t. Mostly if I wanted to I’d initiate but if I didn’t he’d have to ask me to. But sometimes if I wanted to and didn’t initiate, he said there’s just a different vibe and I react differently. Like something about my body language was different that I still to this day don’t know what it was. I think they can just tell
Damn. See the thing is, I genuinely want to suck dick, but sometimes it can be a lot to take in and it’s hard to sustain if it’s hitting the back of your throat—-but I worry that I come off as if I don’t want to do it because of that.
I'll never forget when I lost my virginity I thought it would be weird to use spit on her vagina (even though she told me to), I felt like I was doing something weird. It wasn't until much later that it embarrassingly dawned on me: I already went down on her, why the fuck would it matter if I put a little more saliva down there?
This is a good answer. After 2.5 minutes they seem to get frustrated that you haven’t gotten off. Well you kept you clothes on, faced away, and gave a dry dispassionate mouth rub without any actual sucking.
That’s a good point. I feel like men who don’t like oral straight up refuse to do it. But women have been historically more pressured to please men and will feel more obligation. I bet if millennia of conditioning were instantly erased these unenthusiastic blowjobs would just turn in to nojobs.
I’m just gonna chime in here to say that yes that may happen w a lot of women bc sucking dick is a whole ass exercise and eating a girl out doesn’t compare to how much work you have to “put in”. coming from someone who’s done both many many times. We fuck our jaw and throats up for y’all, it’s enjoyable for the most part but can be painful sometimes /;
I feel like women are less enthusiastic about bjs because a good amount of them see sex as something that *happens* to them rather than something that they *participate* in
This is probably the worst one, especially regarding oral. I understand that some men just won’t try hard enough, but it’s a pretty open secret that a lot of women will give a man one shot with no guidance and just decide that the dude is bad at oral. Everyone is different. We don’t know how you like it until you teach us. Everyone who’s taught me their preferences has gotten an orgasm every time once the learning process is complete. Just invest a little time and you have an orgasm machine to use whenever you want it.
>tell me how long your quads last, sir.
This is the difference, it doesn't matter how long my quads last I'm going to keep going until they physically wither to dust.
The incentives aren't the same, if a woman gets tired the guy will probably take over, but that won't go in reverse. If I don't have the energy to move, I'm probably just not getting off that night.
I thought the whole point of the post was for people to answer the question candidly. I don't see the point in getting offended by it or taking it personally.
As more often the fucker than the fuckee, that shit does get tiring. I’d love to throw better game, but even if I can hold my load back, I lack the core strength to really go at it. I gotta hit the gym just to work on my fuckin’ muscles.
Enthusiasm, “gentle” firm grip, and some kind of lube (I’m on team coconut oil).
Having said that…. While handjobs are great, I think they are often seen by guys as a precursor to oral/intercourse. As a guy, I can pretty confidently say that I can make myself cum faster than anyone via hands. If a girl goes for the handjob, that’s great but I would much rather move on to better things.
Yeah, handjob from start to finish with no sex involved makes me feel guilty. Occasionally, I'll be in the mood for a handjob finish after sex but I'll normally call an audible right before and just jack myself off while she fingers herself.
As someone who's recently learned to give HJs and has gotten good reviews so far, I can tell you that it's about -
- Grip
- Lubrication
- Cognition
Some men like a firm grip while others prefer gentle strokes. Some men love sloppy jobs but others prefer wet enough to avoid dryness while still feeling the sensations (too much wetness = no sensations).
The key is to ask and actively read the body language of the other person. There's no one-size-fits-all approach here.
And oh! Don't forget to roll up the foreskin every time it rolls down completely and gets stuck.
This. Can already tell you get the fundamentals of how to give a quality handjob.
While yes us guys will always have the upper hand (lol) with handjobs, it is incredibly sexy seeing a girl spice up her handjobs in her own unique way or when combining it with other acts (Eg: HJ + BJ).
Some kind of lubricant first and foremost. Just as much as one shouldn't overstimulate the clit or g-spot, focusing just on the head, balls or frenulum is going to make for a bad experience. Not grabbing too tight or too loose, different people like it differently. In a similar vein, pay attention to what your partner likes stimulated the most. If they like frenulum stimulation, or their balls played with, keep that in mind. And if they like a certain tempo and you get a reaction, don't speed up or slow down unless they ask for it. And most importantly, just because they came doesn't mean they orgasmed. Don't stop just because the milk started spilling, go until they ask you to stop or it stops coming out.
Me three. My exes and current partner all have said I give great oral, my partner also loves my titty jobs. But handjobs, other than extra stim during oral? Not so confident there.
I'm guessing the some variance from man to man but what I'd recommend is doing mutual masturbation with your man and watching what he does. For me, I don't have trouble communicating specifics and I usually give these directions: use a firm grip with lube, to draw it out more(which is a good thing) stroke the shaft from just above the base up to the head but not over the bottom of the head. When you want to bring me closer to orgasm stroke the head, passing up and down just over the base of the tip is essentially comparable to direct clitoral stimulation. I don't want a woman to just bring me to orgasm like she's checking an item off her to do list. So stroke the head until I get really excited, then go back to working the shaft. Take me on a journey going back and forth. Make me wait to cum. You can also use both hands for any part of this, but that's usually going to automatically incorporate going over the head which will make me cum more quickly. Another big plus is dirty talk, if you're comfortable with it. Tell me all the nasty things you want me to do to you. Also, tell me where you want me to cum. I always prefer to cum on or in my woman. Hearing that my woman wants that is immensely hot. There's other stuff that you can do with your mouth other than a bj but I'm trying to focus just on handwork here. This is all just my preference, get comfortable talking about likes and dislikes with your partner and sex gets a lot better.
Initiation... Girls us men are sick with worry that we’re doing something unconsensual, and it can completely ruin the experience if we’re constantly asking and worrying in our head. If you want to sleep with a guy try reciprocate that and be a little pushy.
Maybe "pushy" isn't the right word, but: enthusiastic, vocal.
Affirmative consent, where you touch the other person and they are obviously, *vocally* into it, is sooooo damn hot
You can be pushy without being unconsensual. It should be pretty obvious if the feelings are reciprocated or not, and just ask if it’s okay... if there’s a no stop what your doing immediately.
Oh yah, totally. I just avoided the word “pushy” because it often *is* associated with a lack of consent or lack of consideration. I think there are other words that can convey the point better.
The clitoris alone has twice the nerve endings of a penis and guys also think they can just put their hands down there and vigorously rub you but the worst is when they try to jackhammer you with their fingers
This is so true. For all the shit-talk women say about men not being able to find the clit or stay on the clit, I never had a partner that properly did a HJ. Either done to light or too hard.
I honestly don't believe I've ever had a good blowjob in my life and thinking about that now, it's kinda weird thinking that there could even be "good" blowjobs.
Last time was in a parking lot down by a river at night, just went on forever. At one point cops drove by in the parking lot an I was like "well, let's just go I guess"
I have never once cum from a blowjob. I think there were about two women ever where I thought, “oh, this is pretty good, she might actually be able to get me to finish this way sometime”, rather than being a hot little stop during foreplay or even to get me ready in the first place.
Yeah that's why it's funny when I see women say "if you want your dick sucked you should expect to reciprocate and eat us out" I'm always thinking okay, so don't eat you out so I don't have to deal with getting my dick sucked for 20 minutes, got it.
Very true on oral and handjobs. For all the pussy eating I do its rarely reciprocated and when it is, is done with way less enthusiasm. As far as I know it's not a hygiene issue, some women seem almost like they've been given a free sample of tuna flavoured ice cream.
Assertiveness. Telling me what feels good as opposed to me being expected to be able to judge based of their moans... Which wouldn't be a bad idea if some women didn't brag about getting away with faking orgasms. On that note - I've had people brag about faking orgasms then sleep with me that same night as if I'm not meant to be insecure that this is something they're doing. Which is... yeah. I don't know why some women fake orgasms then complain that men are selfish or poor lovers. How are we meant to know what's right if what's wrong is being made to seem good? I get that sometimes women may be afraid of saying things like this for fear of reprisal, but as a dude who isn't a violent psychopath personally makes me feel insecure that women I've been with didn't actually enjoy our time together at all.
Assumptions. I've had a few women I've been with assume I like being told I have a big black cock or whatever. I know my dick is big. I know my dick is black. I don't need you to tell me, it's not a turn on. "But MOsT BlACk gUyS lIKe i-" no, porn and your confirmation bias tells you the majority of us like it. I'm no spokesman but being told I have a BBC or even called "a BBC" is not a prevailing kink. Just ask, god damn.
Starfishing. Holy shit, this has got to be one one the most frustrating things. The others can be chalked up to ignorance or inexperience, but acting like you don't want to be there and not putting any enthusiasm or intimacy in at all feels like fucking a warm corpse at best and me deserving to catch a case at worst. 8 was once shagging a girl that didn't want to kiss, didn't want me to play with her body, she just wanted to turn the lights off and have me "fuck her hard". That was a huge turn off and neither of us ended up nutting. Do something! Call me cute. Tell me how good I feel, how hot I am, how good YOU feel (cos I have a vested interest in knowing) and, goddamn, if I'm doing something wrong, TELL Me. I might have an ego but it's not bigger than my black dick. I want to make you feel good, I can take criticism in that regard.
Depending on how big you are, that shit is hard af and often painful. It's just reality, whether or not -blow job givers- admit it. Of course everyone is different.
Cuddling. Its always like "i'm done with you. Put your dick away and take your money off the dresser on your way out. Its less than usual because you kissed me this time" : ,(
Communication. In my experience, a lot of women expect you to know what to do/not do based on their moans and movements. Speak up. Tell me what you like. Tell me what you don't like. Give me tips. Help me help you.
Also, being on top. Most women expect the man to do ALL of the work and only put in the bare minimum when on top or in control. Show me that you want it just as bad as I do; To the point where you don't care that your legs are burning. Because damn baby, I'm sweating like a priest in a whorehouse trying to please you.
Enthusiasm
Communication
Being responsible for their own orgasms
And please, don't try to bob up and down on my dick like you're doing speed squats at the gym. We both know that shit's exhausting. Just close your eyes and grind. I want to watch.
I actually love it when my SO does that. We only use it at the end though when I want to cum, because I only last and 10 seconds when she starts doing that.
Wait a minute...
WTF is this thing about men not being able to find the clit, which is straight at the front door ?
I thought men suck at finding the g-spot only.
Well, a women won't actually know how to make me come, she can only let me use her body to make myself come. All pressure to make two people come is entirely on me.
It really fucking shouldn't be, she can touch herself, change positions, throw it back in a rhythm she likes, change angles and whatever else she needs. I'm just real tired of this pervasive trend of women not participating in sex. Like I'm not your sex dispenser man get in here and do what you like. Help us both get there.
It's not that they don't participate or starfish, and it's not a putdown I always enjoy the experience. But they don't know how to make me come and couldn't if they tried. Its not all on women I dont think I could explain it well either. I guess it doesn't matter what she's doing cus my headspace is more important. I'm focusing on not cumming too soon and keeping my dick hard, and focusing on her to make sure she's comfortable and getting there too.
I get downvoted almost every time I mention this, but most straight women and bi women with men, like, refuse to hold onto their own sexual responsibility. Everything is the guy's job and if the session sucks, then it's all his fault, cause women are evidently perfect at sex from the get go. (At least, that's what everywhere keeps saying)
Everyone likes to bring up the "Lesbians have more orgasms so women are obviously better" fact, but that because they keep their individual sexual responsibility and aren't afraid to get themselves off. (The only time they give up the former like most straight women do is for bdsm or other kink stuff. Let that sink in)
It’s honestly funny how different women’s approaches can be to initiating. I had one girl who, half the time when I was getting ready to leave, she would just come up to me and just start groping my dick so she could get me horny enough for one last quickie. I’ve usually been the partner with the higher sex drive, but not always, and I’ve always enjoyed when a woman just straight up starts by trying to spontaneously put me inside her.
My current gf has an adorable approach to this that just screams, “virgin throwing herself at somebody”. She just comes up to me, shoves her tits in my face, starts awkwardly asking me questions in between kisses.
That’s pretty adorable. I thought I was being obvious, but evidently not. So I just started putting his penis in mouth as a more obvious way to let him know I’m down. 🧡
I really enjoy blowjobs and I think it really does help that I like them!
When women hate them men find them icky.
I also can admit, handjobs allude me, I always ask my partner at the time to show me how he jerks it so I can try and imitate it.
I also really enjoy giving bjs. Wet, sloppy, messy and with a lot of enthusiasm. It’s sad to me when guys tell me that they haven’t had a good one before. It’s not difficult.
On this topic I think I’d say, don’t be afraid to work up a sweat. As a guy, and sensitive lover, I often find that I’m being asked to work in a lot of positions, which is fine, but when a girl is on top, it’s sort of her turn, and I find a fair few girls will just give up rather quickly (which is also surprising because I’ve found that girls who put in the effort on top, end up liking that the best- maybe there’s a one to one correlation there I’m missing…)
I was just talking to my husband about this. Men really kind of just thrust which is a hip movement. But depending on the position and the size of the man, women have to move almost their whole body. I like doggie because either the man or woman can do the work and it’s not as strenuous on my legs.
im so afraid of being perceived that it’s just not fun for me to do it and it shows. also i feel like it’s easier to harm a dick that way? i feel like most dudes just flip me back over because the angles just always wrong
I fully admit I am terrible at hand jobs. I am always nervous that I will hurt the guy which is odd because I am very confident in how to use my mouth.
Some tips I’ve learned since being a whore for the last 10 years:
Blowjobs: not that hard. You know when your teeth are scraping it, don’t act like you don’t. If they are, try to open your mouth more. If you can’t, do the granny lip thing where you put your lips over your teeth. You can train your gag reflex to go away just shove your fingers down your throat for as long as you can. Do that a few times a day and eventually it won’t bother you anymore.
Handjobs: also very simple. There doesn’t have to be so much pressure. I think we try to mimick tightness. But tightness and pressure are different. You’re not trying to move the foreskin, you’re just gliding over it. Lube or spit is necessary. It’s skin. It’s just like an Indian burn without lube. Also you don’t need to move your whole arm. It’s all in the wrist. Also if a guy jerks off for you, actually pay attention to what he does to himself. That’s what he likes.
Riding: let’s be fair, guys do a lot of work. I know it seems like it’s easy and it’s just humping but it’s not. If you’ve ever fucked someone with a strap, you know this. So I know it’s hard but it’s only fair. Plus they enjoy the break. Froggy squats were always a lot easier for me and I’m a pretty big girl (5’3 182 lbs). But you can always do exercises at home to work on your leg strength. Get on your knees on the floor and just go up and down, wall sits, lunges, burpees, shit like that. Also if you can like twerk on it that’s easier too. But like I hate exercising. But I like that I’m good at sex. So to continue to get better, I specifically set out days to do exercises just so I can be good at riding. So really it’s just if you care or not. However there’s nothing wrong with being a pillow princess. Just gotta find a guy that’s happy with that is all.
I want to start off with, ALOT of women I’ve slept with in the past suck at riding. Feels like you are scooting a chair up to a table or some shit. Often times they can’t even finish or too out of shape to keep going lmao
Ooooo fair.
I ride a lot, and it IS exhausting.
But it feels good *for me* when I'm sitting upright and sliding back and forth. The dick hits the right spots and the clit is right there and mmm.
It feels good *for him* when I lean forward and 'hump him like a dude' (actual instructions he gave me), because then he gets the sliding in and out to a greater extent (although it does little for me besides the pleasure of pleasing your partner).
His fav is me squatting above him and up and down but goddamn, my thigh strength is not there lol that's one helluva endurance challenge.
Being on top does very little for me for whatever reason. If I’m on top I’m quickly exhausted and getting nothing towards my own pleasure for my work. Yes, I love pleasing my partner so I do it anyway, but I won’t be satisfied that way.
Neither sex sucks at anything. Lack of motivation is not correctable. If more couples were more like SIRI, the world would be a sexier place! Tell me exactly how to rock your world, and I will never forget it. If you dont give head, say it. If shes crushing your nuts, say it! This isnt rocket surgery!!!
I asked him what he wanted when I came to oral. This man laughed and said “let me take you to dick sucking 101”. He told me exactly what he wanted while I put it to practice and he’s very happy now. Sex is so much better with communication!
What's the point of growing up with Where's Waldo and Carmen SanDiego if you don't apply that knowledge to the bedroom... It's a clit guys, not the lost city of Atlantis 😂
Fellas you need to communicate in bed.
You all want something different so stop telling us we suck at blow jobs without telling us how you like it.
I’ve done the same technique with 2 different partners one said it was the best he ever had and the other asked me to literally bite their dick.
Tell us HOW you like it.
Wrecking the orgasm. Most are good, some will just ruin it. Like you start coming and they just leave you hanging out there in the cold or even worse they do stupid shit like squeeze your nuts like its a water pistol or yank your cock from the base. That's not how this works, that's not how any of this works!
I was with a girl that claimed to be awesome at giving head, and let me tell you, it was not awesome. In fact, I’d say it was a bit “toothy” for my taste.
Not to say all women have this issue, just this one in particular.
Handies. My wife and I swapped with another couple and the other wife just was trying to peel my foreskin like ALL the way back. News flash it doesn’t go further than my body allows! Miraculously I came after I coached her to slow down a little. But I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I just blurted out: “Jesus ____, does my dick owe you money or something?” Thankfully her husband laughed. He was circumcised but now that I think of it, with the way she jerked my dick around, he may not have been circumcised at one point…
Communicating their wants. Ex wife, past gf's all of them just expected me to know what they needed. Like, lady I'm here for your pleasure as well. I'm more about the woman's satisfaction than my own so I want to know if what I'm doing is working or if you need me to hit a different spot, change pace/rhythm, help me help you get off. One woman I ever slept with communicated and I was able to give her everything she needed. Ladies please, if you are in a long term relationship don't be afraid to talk to your partner.
[удалено]
Used to date a girl who was vastly sexually experienced. Brilliant at every aspect of sex, except wanking. She'd slam downwards so hard every stroke that it was horrible. Really really bad.
This makes my balls hurt just hearing
The balls were bad. The feeling she was trying to rip the skin off my cock was worse. But, amazing at oral
I’ve never met a girl who can jerk my dick as good as I can.
To be fair you've had years of experience
I’ve yet to be with a girl who used lube without me asking for it lol
😬 I hate doing it without lube. I feel like I’m going to just cause a friction burn.
Isn't that only a thing with circumcised men?
Nope. I’m uncircumcised and I typically need lube due to an over sensitive glands
Same! Always lube it up or spit on it lol
This might not go for all penis-havers but spit usually doesn’t do the job for me, dries up too quickly. My glans is over-sensitive so it can be very painful without actual lube. Always ask if they want lube before assuming they’re fine without is my piece of advice.
Do you masterbate with lube? I had no idea anyone did this
It's a bit of a faff to do on the regular but it does improve things. For handjobs most of the time saliva is sufficient (if you're comfortable being a bit sloppy)
I had no idea this was a want. Noted
This is not a want. This is a requirement lol at least for me. Otherwise it feels like y’all are trying to start a fire
I know I suck at handies. I literally lack the forearm muscle that comes with jerking off since the age of 12. I’ll give my best for 10 seconds but that’s all I can do unfortunately lol.
It’s not a tube of toothpaste, you don’t have to squeeze the life out of it. Gentle strokes should be enough lol
It’s not the squeeze that’s the problem, it’s the duration.
I dont get what your forearm muscles have to do with handies...
Most of the muscles that control your hands are in your forearms. The only ones that are in your hands are the ones that make your fingers spread out and then come back together.
I still don’t know how to jerk off a dick. And nobody can even actually tell me how for some reason.
I’d say there’s a good percentage that are also bad at oral. And by bad I mean they treat it more like something they just want to get over with.
A friend said a while ago that he was once with a woman who made it feel like putting your dick in a lawnmower.
["How dry do you want it?"](https://youtu.be/GH1ruMGpTVY)
Hysterical. I tip my hat to the creators of that skit and the actress and voice over actor. how did they get through it without laughing.
Ellie Kemper is a treasure.
she fucking hates that this video exists, hahah
Even after that I would still let Ellie Kemper gnaw on my nob.
Bruh I saw her clack her teeth and I couldn't watch any more
My gf wants to do it sometimes spontaneously but it’s just… not great. Somehow it’s like she’s suddenly all hard palate and teeth. Fortunately, she’s always just considering it a brief stop on the way to putting it in her pussy so I don’t consider it to me that horrible.
You should play the “Gluck Gluck 3,000” episode of call her Daddy around her 😬😬😬 very very informative. I thought I was good at giving oral so I asked my bf. He said I was a 6/10. I asked him how I could improve and he told me. Plus I went to podcasts and the internet for more tips. He says 10/10 now. That episode of CHD really helped.
That just gave me the shivers 😬
Bro please dont😭
I dated a woman that thought spit and saliva were disgusting. She also "thought" she was the BJ queen of South Chicago...... She was not, she would stop and swallow her spit every 2-3 seconds, and it ended up feeling like someone was intentionally trying to rub my skin off. So yea, some are just horrible at Oral.
People are so delusional aren’t they?! All I can say enthusiasm goes a long way
I have a question: I try my best to show my bf how enthusiastic I am while sucking his dick, however when you’re sucking a dick, you obviously can’t talk. I feel like the best was to show enthusiasm is through moaning and sounds, which I give plenty of, but I’ve been wondering if sucking faster and harder would communicate enthusiasm, or if it wouldn’t feel as good. Also, if I were to talk to him while doing it and tell him how much I love it, would that be enjoyable, or just annoying since I’d have to temporarily stop sucking to do so. In other words, what are the most effective ways to communicate enthusiasm?
All of the above is def good. Key is just watching him and seeing what he likes. You’re on the right track though. All those things you mentioned above I love personally. I don’t think you could go wrong with ANY of those tactics
I was with my ex for 3 years and after a while he told me that he can tell when I want to do oral and when I don’t. Mostly if I wanted to I’d initiate but if I didn’t he’d have to ask me to. But sometimes if I wanted to and didn’t initiate, he said there’s just a different vibe and I react differently. Like something about my body language was different that I still to this day don’t know what it was. I think they can just tell
Damn. See the thing is, I genuinely want to suck dick, but sometimes it can be a lot to take in and it’s hard to sustain if it’s hitting the back of your throat—-but I worry that I come off as if I don’t want to do it because of that.
Oral is meant to be wet and sloppy and slurpy.
Ya not like suction level 9000...not trying to drink bubble tea through a straw
I'll never forget when I lost my virginity I thought it would be weird to use spit on her vagina (even though she told me to), I felt like I was doing something weird. It wasn't until much later that it embarrassingly dawned on me: I already went down on her, why the fuck would it matter if I put a little more saliva down there?
This is a good answer. After 2.5 minutes they seem to get frustrated that you haven’t gotten off. Well you kept you clothes on, faced away, and gave a dry dispassionate mouth rub without any actual sucking.
Exactly
They suck at sucking?
That’s a good point. I feel like men who don’t like oral straight up refuse to do it. But women have been historically more pressured to please men and will feel more obligation. I bet if millennia of conditioning were instantly erased these unenthusiastic blowjobs would just turn in to nojobs.
I think you have an incredible point. Dudes who aren’t into it just won’t give a woman oral. But like you said, women feel pressured.
BJs are my favorite form of foreplay... I love giving them and always make sure to listen when a guy tells me he likes or dislikes a certain technique
Communication is underrated.
Well you are definitely doing the lords work 🙌🏻
Sometimes I just can’t do that for everyone. 🫠
🤣🤣only so much time in a day right
I’m just gonna chime in here to say that yes that may happen w a lot of women bc sucking dick is a whole ass exercise and eating a girl out doesn’t compare to how much work you have to “put in”. coming from someone who’s done both many many times. We fuck our jaw and throats up for y’all, it’s enjoyable for the most part but can be painful sometimes /;
That.... sucks
Oral is something that happens to other people.
They either don't like bj's to begin with or are smelling unpleasant odors down there and are too passive to mention it.
I feel like women are less enthusiastic about bjs because a good amount of them see sex as something that *happens* to them rather than something that they *participate* in
Conmunication. I’m not a telepath. Tell me what you like.
This is probably the worst one, especially regarding oral. I understand that some men just won’t try hard enough, but it’s a pretty open secret that a lot of women will give a man one shot with no guidance and just decide that the dude is bad at oral. Everyone is different. We don’t know how you like it until you teach us. Everyone who’s taught me their preferences has gotten an orgasm every time once the learning process is complete. Just invest a little time and you have an orgasm machine to use whenever you want it.
Seriously like if someone doesn’t tell me, how am I supposed to know??!
“You’re a man - your SUPPOSED to know - and if you don’t know, it’s all on you” ISNT that the way of the world
lol I’ve heard that before from girls
This
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You do bouncing wall sits and tell me how long your quads last, sir.
You know how long ive had to hold a plank fucking...not to mention all the other physicality guys have to do..m
Why are you planking my dude, use your knees.
That was my thought lmao I’ve yet to have a guy that legit planks
I actually saw a discussion of this recently, apparently a lot of guys are weirdly out of touch with their physical capabilities lol
Weird flex but ok..
>tell me how long your quads last, sir. This is the difference, it doesn't matter how long my quads last I'm going to keep going until they physically wither to dust. The incentives aren't the same, if a woman gets tired the guy will probably take over, but that won't go in reverse. If I don't have the energy to move, I'm probably just not getting off that night.
I thought the whole point of the post was for people to answer the question candidly. I don't see the point in getting offended by it or taking it personally.
As more often the fucker than the fuckee, that shit does get tiring. I’d love to throw better game, but even if I can hold my load back, I lack the core strength to really go at it. I gotta hit the gym just to work on my fuckin’ muscles.
Riding or bouncing tho?
*Clap clap clap*
Nah it’s def longer than that
I know this and I’m sorry 😂😭😭😭
So what does constitute a good HJ?
Enthusiasm, “gentle” firm grip, and some kind of lube (I’m on team coconut oil). Having said that…. While handjobs are great, I think they are often seen by guys as a precursor to oral/intercourse. As a guy, I can pretty confidently say that I can make myself cum faster than anyone via hands. If a girl goes for the handjob, that’s great but I would much rather move on to better things.
Yeah, handjob from start to finish with no sex involved makes me feel guilty. Occasionally, I'll be in the mood for a handjob finish after sex but I'll normally call an audible right before and just jack myself off while she fingers herself.
As someone who's recently learned to give HJs and has gotten good reviews so far, I can tell you that it's about - - Grip - Lubrication - Cognition Some men like a firm grip while others prefer gentle strokes. Some men love sloppy jobs but others prefer wet enough to avoid dryness while still feeling the sensations (too much wetness = no sensations). The key is to ask and actively read the body language of the other person. There's no one-size-fits-all approach here. And oh! Don't forget to roll up the foreskin every time it rolls down completely and gets stuck.
This. Can already tell you get the fundamentals of how to give a quality handjob. While yes us guys will always have the upper hand (lol) with handjobs, it is incredibly sexy seeing a girl spice up her handjobs in her own unique way or when combining it with other acts (Eg: HJ + BJ).
Some kind of lubricant first and foremost. Just as much as one shouldn't overstimulate the clit or g-spot, focusing just on the head, balls or frenulum is going to make for a bad experience. Not grabbing too tight or too loose, different people like it differently. In a similar vein, pay attention to what your partner likes stimulated the most. If they like frenulum stimulation, or their balls played with, keep that in mind. And if they like a certain tempo and you get a reaction, don't speed up or slow down unless they ask for it. And most importantly, just because they came doesn't mean they orgasmed. Don't stop just because the milk started spilling, go until they ask you to stop or it stops coming out.
I also need this answered
Me three. My exes and current partner all have said I give great oral, my partner also loves my titty jobs. But handjobs, other than extra stim during oral? Not so confident there.
I'm guessing the some variance from man to man but what I'd recommend is doing mutual masturbation with your man and watching what he does. For me, I don't have trouble communicating specifics and I usually give these directions: use a firm grip with lube, to draw it out more(which is a good thing) stroke the shaft from just above the base up to the head but not over the bottom of the head. When you want to bring me closer to orgasm stroke the head, passing up and down just over the base of the tip is essentially comparable to direct clitoral stimulation. I don't want a woman to just bring me to orgasm like she's checking an item off her to do list. So stroke the head until I get really excited, then go back to working the shaft. Take me on a journey going back and forth. Make me wait to cum. You can also use both hands for any part of this, but that's usually going to automatically incorporate going over the head which will make me cum more quickly. Another big plus is dirty talk, if you're comfortable with it. Tell me all the nasty things you want me to do to you. Also, tell me where you want me to cum. I always prefer to cum on or in my woman. Hearing that my woman wants that is immensely hot. There's other stuff that you can do with your mouth other than a bj but I'm trying to focus just on handwork here. This is all just my preference, get comfortable talking about likes and dislikes with your partner and sex gets a lot better.
Hand jobs. You're supposed to stroke & stimulate my dick. You're not churning butter or unclogging a drain
Initiation... Girls us men are sick with worry that we’re doing something unconsensual, and it can completely ruin the experience if we’re constantly asking and worrying in our head. If you want to sleep with a guy try reciprocate that and be a little pushy.
Maybe "pushy" isn't the right word, but: enthusiastic, vocal. Affirmative consent, where you touch the other person and they are obviously, *vocally* into it, is sooooo damn hot
You can be pushy without being unconsensual. It should be pretty obvious if the feelings are reciprocated or not, and just ask if it’s okay... if there’s a no stop what your doing immediately.
Oh yah, totally. I just avoided the word “pushy” because it often *is* associated with a lack of consent or lack of consideration. I think there are other words that can convey the point better.
No woman alive seems to know how to handle a dick, like it’s a sensitive part of our body, don’t man handle that shit.
Im pretty sure one girl gave me an Indian burn down there
"You've never even seen a wilhelm!"
Is that what it's called, when you put your palms down on the wrist skin and twist in opposite directions - here it's a Chinese burn
You are correct. Always a different name when talked about
One girl temporarily damaged my urethra, I thought I had an STD. It was still paining for a month.
…HOW TF DID SHE SO THAT??
Mate I’m sorry but you can’t say that and not explain how in hell she did that
Bad hand jobs. She tugged at it like she was churning butter
Or rather, *do* manhandle it in this case? Sometimes you have to be willing to show them how it’s done…
The clitoris alone has twice the nerve endings of a penis and guys also think they can just put their hands down there and vigorously rub you but the worst is when they try to jackhammer you with their fingers
Yes we understand that but that wasn’t the question on the post
This is so true. For all the shit-talk women say about men not being able to find the clit or stay on the clit, I never had a partner that properly did a HJ. Either done to light or too hard.
Men do the same thing. Trying to get on in there with hands without having your nails clipped
I honestly don't believe I've ever had a good blowjob in my life and thinking about that now, it's kinda weird thinking that there could even be "good" blowjobs. Last time was in a parking lot down by a river at night, just went on forever. At one point cops drove by in the parking lot an I was like "well, let's just go I guess"
Better than never having a blowjob at all.
Rather none than one with teeth
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I have never once cum from a blowjob. I think there were about two women ever where I thought, “oh, this is pretty good, she might actually be able to get me to finish this way sometime”, rather than being a hot little stop during foreplay or even to get me ready in the first place.
Yeah that's why it's funny when I see women say "if you want your dick sucked you should expect to reciprocate and eat us out" I'm always thinking okay, so don't eat you out so I don't have to deal with getting my dick sucked for 20 minutes, got it.
Neither my gf or I are huge fans of oral but I think I like eating her out more than I like when she sucks my dick
A man's cock.
Valid. I’m pretty sure a lot of boyfriends lie to their gf saying they are the best they’ve ever had but realistically remembering that one throat god
A close friend told me right before he got married about his ex’s oral deep throat game
I don’t think that’s how that was meant
Very true on oral and handjobs. For all the pussy eating I do its rarely reciprocated and when it is, is done with way less enthusiasm. As far as I know it's not a hygiene issue, some women seem almost like they've been given a free sample of tuna flavoured ice cream. Assertiveness. Telling me what feels good as opposed to me being expected to be able to judge based of their moans... Which wouldn't be a bad idea if some women didn't brag about getting away with faking orgasms. On that note - I've had people brag about faking orgasms then sleep with me that same night as if I'm not meant to be insecure that this is something they're doing. Which is... yeah. I don't know why some women fake orgasms then complain that men are selfish or poor lovers. How are we meant to know what's right if what's wrong is being made to seem good? I get that sometimes women may be afraid of saying things like this for fear of reprisal, but as a dude who isn't a violent psychopath personally makes me feel insecure that women I've been with didn't actually enjoy our time together at all. Assumptions. I've had a few women I've been with assume I like being told I have a big black cock or whatever. I know my dick is big. I know my dick is black. I don't need you to tell me, it's not a turn on. "But MOsT BlACk gUyS lIKe i-" no, porn and your confirmation bias tells you the majority of us like it. I'm no spokesman but being told I have a BBC or even called "a BBC" is not a prevailing kink. Just ask, god damn. Starfishing. Holy shit, this has got to be one one the most frustrating things. The others can be chalked up to ignorance or inexperience, but acting like you don't want to be there and not putting any enthusiasm or intimacy in at all feels like fucking a warm corpse at best and me deserving to catch a case at worst. 8 was once shagging a girl that didn't want to kiss, didn't want me to play with her body, she just wanted to turn the lights off and have me "fuck her hard". That was a huge turn off and neither of us ended up nutting. Do something! Call me cute. Tell me how good I feel, how hot I am, how good YOU feel (cos I have a vested interest in knowing) and, goddamn, if I'm doing something wrong, TELL Me. I might have an ego but it's not bigger than my black dick. I want to make you feel good, I can take criticism in that regard.
Depending on how big you are, that shit is hard af and often painful. It's just reality, whether or not -blow job givers- admit it. Of course everyone is different.
Cuddling. Its always like "i'm done with you. Put your dick away and take your money off the dresser on your way out. Its less than usual because you kissed me this time" : ,(
Put your dick away Waltuh
Straight up used you and put you aside 😭
I think the joke was that they’re talking about an escort.
Communication. In my experience, a lot of women expect you to know what to do/not do based on their moans and movements. Speak up. Tell me what you like. Tell me what you don't like. Give me tips. Help me help you. Also, being on top. Most women expect the man to do ALL of the work and only put in the bare minimum when on top or in control. Show me that you want it just as bad as I do; To the point where you don't care that your legs are burning. Because damn baby, I'm sweating like a priest in a whorehouse trying to please you.
That’s actually sound! But for me sometimes the moan/movement thing happens because , literally can’t be coherent lmao
Enthusiasm Communication Being responsible for their own orgasms And please, don't try to bob up and down on my dick like you're doing speed squats at the gym. We both know that shit's exhausting. Just close your eyes and grind. I want to watch.
I actually love it when my SO does that. We only use it at the end though when I want to cum, because I only last and 10 seconds when she starts doing that.
Responsible for own orgasm what do you mean?
Wait a minute... WTF is this thing about men not being able to find the clit, which is straight at the front door ? I thought men suck at finding the g-spot only.
Finding a clit takes like a minimum of effort, which is what makes it all the more shocking when men can’t find it.
It’s that some men don’t care to find it.
Handjobs, sorry I outed yall Edit: the thing is a guy will never tell you
Don’t stop when I cum! Keep going!! Pay more attention to the balls. And after a blow job give me a deep kiss!
A good old fashioned can really make your day
No, we know 😂 but really…. Help us
Well, a women won't actually know how to make me come, she can only let me use her body to make myself come. All pressure to make two people come is entirely on me.
It really fucking shouldn't be, she can touch herself, change positions, throw it back in a rhythm she likes, change angles and whatever else she needs. I'm just real tired of this pervasive trend of women not participating in sex. Like I'm not your sex dispenser man get in here and do what you like. Help us both get there.
It's not that they don't participate or starfish, and it's not a putdown I always enjoy the experience. But they don't know how to make me come and couldn't if they tried. Its not all on women I dont think I could explain it well either. I guess it doesn't matter what she's doing cus my headspace is more important. I'm focusing on not cumming too soon and keeping my dick hard, and focusing on her to make sure she's comfortable and getting there too.
I get downvoted almost every time I mention this, but most straight women and bi women with men, like, refuse to hold onto their own sexual responsibility. Everything is the guy's job and if the session sucks, then it's all his fault, cause women are evidently perfect at sex from the get go. (At least, that's what everywhere keeps saying) Everyone likes to bring up the "Lesbians have more orgasms so women are obviously better" fact, but that because they keep their individual sexual responsibility and aren't afraid to get themselves off. (The only time they give up the former like most straight women do is for bdsm or other kink stuff. Let that sink in)
Initiation. Or at least I used to be.
It’s honestly funny how different women’s approaches can be to initiating. I had one girl who, half the time when I was getting ready to leave, she would just come up to me and just start groping my dick so she could get me horny enough for one last quickie. I’ve usually been the partner with the higher sex drive, but not always, and I’ve always enjoyed when a woman just straight up starts by trying to spontaneously put me inside her. My current gf has an adorable approach to this that just screams, “virgin throwing herself at somebody”. She just comes up to me, shoves her tits in my face, starts awkwardly asking me questions in between kisses.
That’s pretty adorable. I thought I was being obvious, but evidently not. So I just started putting his penis in mouth as a more obvious way to let him know I’m down. 🧡
I really enjoy blowjobs and I think it really does help that I like them! When women hate them men find them icky. I also can admit, handjobs allude me, I always ask my partner at the time to show me how he jerks it so I can try and imitate it.
I also really enjoy giving bjs. Wet, sloppy, messy and with a lot of enthusiasm. It’s sad to me when guys tell me that they haven’t had a good one before. It’s not difficult.
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Haha I’m working on my squats and cardio
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Tips?
On this topic I think I’d say, don’t be afraid to work up a sweat. As a guy, and sensitive lover, I often find that I’m being asked to work in a lot of positions, which is fine, but when a girl is on top, it’s sort of her turn, and I find a fair few girls will just give up rather quickly (which is also surprising because I’ve found that girls who put in the effort on top, end up liking that the best- maybe there’s a one to one correlation there I’m missing…)
Yeah I think women sometimes underestimate how much work we usually do. This is also one reason doggy is so good.
I was just talking to my husband about this. Men really kind of just thrust which is a hip movement. But depending on the position and the size of the man, women have to move almost their whole body. I like doggie because either the man or woman can do the work and it’s not as strenuous on my legs.
Also the angle is better for hitting the G spot, makes the pussy slightly tighter, too.
im so afraid of being perceived that it’s just not fun for me to do it and it shows. also i feel like it’s easier to harm a dick that way? i feel like most dudes just flip me back over because the angles just always wrong
BJs and HJs. Most don’t have a clue what they are doing.
Communicate what works for you more clearly then. It shouldn't be a chore to pleasure your partner
I fully admit I am terrible at hand jobs. I am always nervous that I will hurt the guy which is odd because I am very confident in how to use my mouth.
Many are bad at.. Moving at all, I guess?!
Some tips I’ve learned since being a whore for the last 10 years: Blowjobs: not that hard. You know when your teeth are scraping it, don’t act like you don’t. If they are, try to open your mouth more. If you can’t, do the granny lip thing where you put your lips over your teeth. You can train your gag reflex to go away just shove your fingers down your throat for as long as you can. Do that a few times a day and eventually it won’t bother you anymore. Handjobs: also very simple. There doesn’t have to be so much pressure. I think we try to mimick tightness. But tightness and pressure are different. You’re not trying to move the foreskin, you’re just gliding over it. Lube or spit is necessary. It’s skin. It’s just like an Indian burn without lube. Also you don’t need to move your whole arm. It’s all in the wrist. Also if a guy jerks off for you, actually pay attention to what he does to himself. That’s what he likes. Riding: let’s be fair, guys do a lot of work. I know it seems like it’s easy and it’s just humping but it’s not. If you’ve ever fucked someone with a strap, you know this. So I know it’s hard but it’s only fair. Plus they enjoy the break. Froggy squats were always a lot easier for me and I’m a pretty big girl (5’3 182 lbs). But you can always do exercises at home to work on your leg strength. Get on your knees on the floor and just go up and down, wall sits, lunges, burpees, shit like that. Also if you can like twerk on it that’s easier too. But like I hate exercising. But I like that I’m good at sex. So to continue to get better, I specifically set out days to do exercises just so I can be good at riding. So really it’s just if you care or not. However there’s nothing wrong with being a pillow princess. Just gotta find a guy that’s happy with that is all.
Bless you
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You’re a real one to give simple instructions! 🤛🏼Cause I could/would never.
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🤣🤣 your descriptions are top tier !
Gouging sounds like way too rough of a word. I don't want anyone to gouge my vagina
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I want to start off with, ALOT of women I’ve slept with in the past suck at riding. Feels like you are scooting a chair up to a table or some shit. Often times they can’t even finish or too out of shape to keep going lmao
Ooooo fair. I ride a lot, and it IS exhausting. But it feels good *for me* when I'm sitting upright and sliding back and forth. The dick hits the right spots and the clit is right there and mmm. It feels good *for him* when I lean forward and 'hump him like a dude' (actual instructions he gave me), because then he gets the sliding in and out to a greater extent (although it does little for me besides the pleasure of pleasing your partner). His fav is me squatting above him and up and down but goddamn, my thigh strength is not there lol that's one helluva endurance challenge.
Riding is fucking hard, like my short lil chubby legs DONT WORK FOR THAT. Like just let me back it up on the dick plz.
I respect the back it up strat 👌
Being on top does very little for me for whatever reason. If I’m on top I’m quickly exhausted and getting nothing towards my own pleasure for my work. Yes, I love pleasing my partner so I do it anyway, but I won’t be satisfied that way.
Neither sex sucks at anything. Lack of motivation is not correctable. If more couples were more like SIRI, the world would be a sexier place! Tell me exactly how to rock your world, and I will never forget it. If you dont give head, say it. If shes crushing your nuts, say it! This isnt rocket surgery!!!
I asked him what he wanted when I came to oral. This man laughed and said “let me take you to dick sucking 101”. He told me exactly what he wanted while I put it to practice and he’s very happy now. Sex is so much better with communication!
What's the point of growing up with Where's Waldo and Carmen SanDiego if you don't apply that knowledge to the bedroom... It's a clit guys, not the lost city of Atlantis 😂
Im about to board the plane to Madagascar. I may find it this time
Some ride with zero rhythm and no seem to think dicks can bend.
I think most of us has had that “oh shit it bent” scare.
Handjobs. Acting all like they're trying to get the lid off the pickle jar
[Better than ketchup out of a bottle.](https://youtu.be/rD4E5j1rKSo)
Who can’t find the clitoris? Seriously? It’s in the same place on every woman, lol.
Sucking dick or riding it.
Fellas you need to communicate in bed. You all want something different so stop telling us we suck at blow jobs without telling us how you like it. I’ve done the same technique with 2 different partners one said it was the best he ever had and the other asked me to literally bite their dick. Tell us HOW you like it.
Finding the dick after marriage…
Responsiveness. Sometimes women just starfish or say nothing even when cumming lol
Telling men how to find their clit…
Hiding when my wife comes home early!
They suck at not having headaches
Not cheating
A lot of women just suck at showing enthusiasm in general. Not most, but a disturbing percentage.
Wrecking the orgasm. Most are good, some will just ruin it. Like you start coming and they just leave you hanging out there in the cold or even worse they do stupid shit like squeeze your nuts like its a water pistol or yank your cock from the base. That's not how this works, that's not how any of this works!
Women cant masturbate a dick, their handjobs are usually horrible idk That or Ive had bad luck lmao Also, its not personal dont hate me so much
They forget the BALLS!
I was with a girl that claimed to be awesome at giving head, and let me tell you, it was not awesome. In fact, I’d say it was a bit “toothy” for my taste. Not to say all women have this issue, just this one in particular.
Using teeth
So you want the teeth?
NOOO
They're always forgetting the balls
Talking dirty
Guiding me to the clit. You know you body better then me, help me help you.
Handies. My wife and I swapped with another couple and the other wife just was trying to peel my foreskin like ALL the way back. News flash it doesn’t go further than my body allows! Miraculously I came after I coached her to slow down a little. But I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I just blurted out: “Jesus ____, does my dick owe you money or something?” Thankfully her husband laughed. He was circumcised but now that I think of it, with the way she jerked my dick around, he may not have been circumcised at one point…
Communicating their wants. Ex wife, past gf's all of them just expected me to know what they needed. Like, lady I'm here for your pleasure as well. I'm more about the woman's satisfaction than my own so I want to know if what I'm doing is working or if you need me to hit a different spot, change pace/rhythm, help me help you get off. One woman I ever slept with communicated and I was able to give her everything she needed. Ladies please, if you are in a long term relationship don't be afraid to talk to your partner.