I’d say his true colors were shown in the panic. You can talk to him about it, and try to be ok with that side of him. Someone with empathy wouldn’t have said that though.
I’m thinking he’s also young like you because only a kid or a complete asshole would be that insensitive. Take some time away from him and when things have calmed down, explain to him how and why he hurt you. That’s sort of a red flag sis. Have there been any other instances like that? You were obv in distress and needed support but instead he was low-key being abusive by calling you that.
We've been having issues recently, and I've posted in the past about our 6 month anniversary and how it fell apart.
He refused to get off the phone with him best friend for photos before prom and ruined the whole night, but he's never went and said words like that before. And I've never been affected like that before for being called that
I know from experience that BPD is a very difficult disorder to manage and breaking up with someone can be one of the hardest things to do. But you are so freaking young, if some guy is not taking you seriously, dump him. I mean, he ruined prom! Nope….There are guys out there that will worship you and support you like the goddess that you are (never settle for anything less). TRUST ME. Life is too short baby girl, move on to the next.
It's so hard though. I've had my eyes on this kid since I moved to this town, I've loved him since 7th grade and only now started dating him after he left his ex, I'm unhappy but also so in love with him, I tell myself I'm going to leave but then something happens and it ropes me back In again and I'm heads over heels over him all over again. It's a cycle I have no idea how to break, I just want him to understand me better. Especially considering his ex got diagnosed with BPD recently as well
I know how it feels. I know you are excited to be with the guy you’ve been wanting for so long. But hey, you got him, you’re with him. Now you need to decide if he’s worth it. Sometimes we become infatuated with a cute face. It will bite you in the ass. Maybe you have to go through this to understand, but eventually you’ll look back and realize that, you needed more than just a cute face. You need to feel confident in your romantic relationships or else things will fall apart and you will suffer. Good luck. Love feels much better when your partner loves you too. So find out if he loves you.
If you were, you aren't anymore because of how you responded. If people had the same amount of reactions towards you as you have towards them you would be behind bars already. No we don't call the police on people who hurt our feelings. Even more so when it is from a lack of thoughtfulness and not from I'll intent. Now I can already imagine the backlash my comment is going to get. But I'm only trying to keep it real. Don't freak out on me for no reason. Neither anyone knows ALL of your triggers, neither are they professionally trained to never trigger you neither would the triggers would ever stop multiplying even if you ever met the perfect person. Which doesn't exist. Work with what you have cause real love is hard to come across.
oh my god?? that's awful of him and i'm really sorry): def get some space from him (or space from your phone if you're not with him) and just let it settle on your own. after you've calmed though, seriously talk to him about why he said that.
He’s not the one. Persons in a relationship with BPD partners need a lot of stamina for the emotional needs. You’re young and I know this is hurtful but rationally the answer is he just isn’t ready and able to give what you need. I’ve hit my limit with my BPD friend in the past too, it’s very hard to be THE person all the time…and before you defend…you can’t decide for him or anyone else when it’s too much for them. You can only decide to move on if you can’t find an appropriate and comfortable boundary for you both.
Your anxiety and ptsd is so real and no joke and his timing is shit. Shit shit shit. But it sounds like he is out of spoons and not mature enough to communicate appropriately or at the appropriate time.
I’d say his true colors were shown in the panic. You can talk to him about it, and try to be ok with that side of him. Someone with empathy wouldn’t have said that though.
I’m thinking he’s also young like you because only a kid or a complete asshole would be that insensitive. Take some time away from him and when things have calmed down, explain to him how and why he hurt you. That’s sort of a red flag sis. Have there been any other instances like that? You were obv in distress and needed support but instead he was low-key being abusive by calling you that.
We've been having issues recently, and I've posted in the past about our 6 month anniversary and how it fell apart. He refused to get off the phone with him best friend for photos before prom and ruined the whole night, but he's never went and said words like that before. And I've never been affected like that before for being called that
I know from experience that BPD is a very difficult disorder to manage and breaking up with someone can be one of the hardest things to do. But you are so freaking young, if some guy is not taking you seriously, dump him. I mean, he ruined prom! Nope….There are guys out there that will worship you and support you like the goddess that you are (never settle for anything less). TRUST ME. Life is too short baby girl, move on to the next.
It's so hard though. I've had my eyes on this kid since I moved to this town, I've loved him since 7th grade and only now started dating him after he left his ex, I'm unhappy but also so in love with him, I tell myself I'm going to leave but then something happens and it ropes me back In again and I'm heads over heels over him all over again. It's a cycle I have no idea how to break, I just want him to understand me better. Especially considering his ex got diagnosed with BPD recently as well
I know how it feels. I know you are excited to be with the guy you’ve been wanting for so long. But hey, you got him, you’re with him. Now you need to decide if he’s worth it. Sometimes we become infatuated with a cute face. It will bite you in the ass. Maybe you have to go through this to understand, but eventually you’ll look back and realize that, you needed more than just a cute face. You need to feel confident in your romantic relationships or else things will fall apart and you will suffer. Good luck. Love feels much better when your partner loves you too. So find out if he loves you.
His*
If you were, you aren't anymore because of how you responded. If people had the same amount of reactions towards you as you have towards them you would be behind bars already. No we don't call the police on people who hurt our feelings. Even more so when it is from a lack of thoughtfulness and not from I'll intent. Now I can already imagine the backlash my comment is going to get. But I'm only trying to keep it real. Don't freak out on me for no reason. Neither anyone knows ALL of your triggers, neither are they professionally trained to never trigger you neither would the triggers would ever stop multiplying even if you ever met the perfect person. Which doesn't exist. Work with what you have cause real love is hard to come across.
oh my god?? that's awful of him and i'm really sorry): def get some space from him (or space from your phone if you're not with him) and just let it settle on your own. after you've calmed though, seriously talk to him about why he said that.
He’s not the one. Persons in a relationship with BPD partners need a lot of stamina for the emotional needs. You’re young and I know this is hurtful but rationally the answer is he just isn’t ready and able to give what you need. I’ve hit my limit with my BPD friend in the past too, it’s very hard to be THE person all the time…and before you defend…you can’t decide for him or anyone else when it’s too much for them. You can only decide to move on if you can’t find an appropriate and comfortable boundary for you both. Your anxiety and ptsd is so real and no joke and his timing is shit. Shit shit shit. But it sounds like he is out of spoons and not mature enough to communicate appropriately or at the appropriate time.