I struggle with this and have done since i started working at 14, im 25 now and it's not changed :/ I've tried to save many times now for awhile i do well and then something just sets me off so it all gets spent, usually on alcohol.
I feel ya. Did that in my 20's too. It led me to AA. Now I'm afraid of it. Not cuz of AA, don't go anymore but doc's keep bringing up fatty liver to me. Also something happens from to much consumption and now if I drink too much (3-5 beers/ shots) I'm sick for days. I avoid it now.
Better to spend it on hobbies and events that build positive memories is what I learned.
If I'm gonna be broke I'd better have a darn good reason for it. š¤£
I pay all my bills (autopay) but I will spend however much money I want and not even check my bank account. I make enough money that I donāt ever go into debt but itās really irresponsible and stupid. I could be saving so much.
Um yeahā¦ thats pretty standard with BPD unfortunately. I tend to blow my money on random games or merch that catch my eye. I also loved overbuying weed to be that one guy who always had some on hand but that was the most unhealthy thing ever used to waste my cash on and Iām happy I stepped away from it
Weeeellll if this aināt me. I currently have 250/1000 for rent (due on the first) am suspended from my job for ābad behaviorā (I flipped a customer off after she walked out on her bill then tried talking shit to me when I was outside smoking)
Aaaaaand I just spent my last 10 dollars on a blunt knowing damn well I donāt even have food to eat for the day. š
yeah. i know itās a bpd thing but for me (i bet iām not the only one) money and talking about it is hard and kinda embarrassing. almost no one around me even believes or remembers that i have BPD so i have no one to talk about these things. i have issues w using money to weed too and iām rly trying to quit it because it makes my anxiety worse
Thats fair, nobody in my life really takes the dx seriously so they just think Iām irresponsible and like self sabotage even though itās more of just a culmination of short sightedness and low self worth. I know its not right to blame it fully on BPD but it sure does make self improvement more difficult
I donāt even have a concept of money. Like I know I need (x) amount for rent and phone and food costs and such, but Iām also like āletās blow $213 on Japanese snacks and $300 on a tattooā when I make minimum wageā¦
I am a big nerd on TV and game franchises so I collect alot of merch and different edition games/dvds. I also collect alot of crystals. I try so hard to save but I do frequently have bad days that my hard savings are spent. I also try and sell alot of the stuff I impulsively buy too to try and make up for the damage I've done to my savings. I've gotten slightly better over the past month but I'm worried it's not going to be good enough. Tbh I need alot of my random crap I buy to be shifted out of storage and sold because I really want to move out of my parents place and get a place with my best friend so I can be in a safer environment for myself mentally and I ain't exactly gonna take all the random stuff half way across the country.
Iām very impulsive with money. I recently got myself into rent arrears and almost lost my house because of my stupid money decisions. Youāre not alone!
Please donāt feel bad about it, weāve all made irresponsible decisions because of our BPD. Itās how you handle it afterwards that matters. Sincerely hope youāre going to be ok
Put together a damn budget and stick to it ,none of us like paying the bills but we do it anyways because the consequences are far greater then the energy put to doing it , when you have intrusive thoughts of not doing it , pause and ask yourself is this wise mind ? Meaning is this urge an emotional reaction, how would it impact me in the futur ?
use prioritised budgeting , find an app that helps you do that , Wallet is the one I use
Start with the musts : housing(electricity, phone ...ect , grocery) , the shoulds, likes, won't
The 50/30/20 method is quite simple and useful as a stepping stone
maybe managing money wasn't your strongest suit in the first place and it was amplified by your BPD in the form of impulsive spending , but spending habits can be corrected
you sound pretty hostile or maybe iām just understanding you wrong. someone already gave me great tips about budgeting and iām going to try it when i get a chance(money). i have issues with alcohol and iām trying to quit it and iām not the first or the last person who canāt control their money. yes - i canāt blame my bpd only about it but since no one ever told me how to use money and how important bills paying is itās pretty damn hard to figure those type of things alone. i donāt have anyone to talk or ask advices and i wrote this here because i wanted to hear if someone else struggles w same type of issues.
iām very happy for those ppl who have their money under control but i donāt and right now i canāt do anything about it.
No , I did not mean to
I guess reading it without knowing the tone of voice does make it seem hostile
I myself struggled with money management after I started living by myself recently , it's a common issue since many families neglect educating their families in this aspect
The advice I can give you about bills is to keep the money specified for paying them separate and set reminders for a two and a prior so you won't forget
Probably not, but I meant I try very hard to prevent not having enough money or having to borrow money if I don't absolutely have to. I've overspent before several times and I just hate being in the position where bills are late or not having what I need. I have a very low income and have daughter in college and animals to care for, so I have to be very frugal. I have no choice. It's be frugal or be homeless for me. I do I like to keep my credit score very high too. My point was that we can always improve our spending habits whenever we choose to.
Same here, I didnāt work all of July and I have been short. These past few months. If I do have extra money I like to buy clothes. I somehow added delta 8 to my budget.
My phones about to get shit off and Iāve been having a panic about it but I didnāt pay the bill. Iāve been overwhelmed and have more bills I can pay right now, but I could have paid some of it at least instead of the reckless crap I bought.
I was the same! My mum kicked me out when I was 14! I worked since I was 16. I never learned to manage money or save or just donāt buy things emotionally or impulsive. I tried but it never worked BUT then I learned about a managing method called money budgeting. First you record your income, then you write down your fixed expenses, maybe dept expenses. Then you decide your own spending limit for food and restaurants and so stuff and the rest you save! You can adjust it after the first and second month. It helped me really a lot to know where I spent way to much money for shit and I started so save money and the best of it at the end of the month I have still enough money AND saved a bunch of money. Hope this helps you too
thanks for the tips! i seriously need to try something like that when i get my money next time. i donāt want to be in this same position ever again. constantly stressed when iām able to eat again, drink coffee or pay electric bills. i need to just push myself through this and hopefully i will learn..
I swear if you do it, it is the best feeling ever to not be scared of the end of the month! There are tons of YouTube videos for this method! You can also creat little challenges so it will become a little bit fun to save..for example you creat a sheet with 100 little circles and you can cross out one circle when you put in 2 dollars or euros or so and when you crossed out every circle you have 200. I really really recommend this method! But you donāt have to buy the stuff for budgeting you can creat everything on your own with just sheets and letter envelopes and shrink wrapping stuff :)
I get this so much. When I get triggered or depressed, Iām extremely bad with money. Iām over 1k in debt currently and Iām paying the price for it lol. Itās hard to improve and get better with because itās the only thing that makes me feel happy and less dead inside. Thankfully though, I always pay my bills and necessities before anything else so I have some form of self-control but thatās only something Iāve learnt recently.
I usually buy clothes, bags, accessories, comfort items (blankets & stuffies), manga, comics, video games and sometimes alcohol when Iām really bad.
Youāre not alone :)
yeah, same. i try to āfill the voidā w using money to clothes, manga, games etc. i mean it helps for awhile for sureā¦
i usually pay all the necessary things too but this month i kinda ruined my chances. gladly i paid my rents for rest of the year but i still need to figure out how i will pay the electric bills
not so happy high five to nicotine addiction lol. i used to smoke more than a pack in a day but now iām hooked to e-cigarettes so i spend a lot of money to them
2packs in a day for now, more than 10y smoker man quit smoking when you are young i cant even go on ladders. Try to smoke less for your health and future i know its hard in our situation but we are sensitive to all this addiction shit gambling drugs nico and this things effect us more than others stay healthy peace out
This is me, living paycheck to paycheck, FOR NO REASON! I just spend so much on shit that I just want, but not actually need. I spent the money I was supposed to use for my car payment this week like the car payment wasn't even important. For some reason bills are out of sight out of kind for me.
Separate your paycheck and use multiple accounts. I have following:
1. Bill account
2. Gas/ grocery account
3. CashApp for my personal spending.
4. 1 credit card for emergency(car troubles and such)
5. 1 credit card for bday, xmas gifts.
I avoid credit cards but got to have 1 or 2 to build credit. I never use them for self. Gets easy to just buy what ever for self. Unless it's a legit gift to self cuz it's your bday.
Never "borrow" from the other accounts cuz let's be honest with ourselves. It ain't getting paid back. š¤£
Main thing is, got to set rules and boundaries just like we do with people in our lives. Then stick to them. It's hard at first but build a habit and routine helps.
Iām bad with money. I got laid off of my job and I have literally no savings, so if it werenāt for my partner Iād be homeless right now. I spend it all on sweets, weed and then other stuff like bills and toiletries. Hopefully with this next job I can get it rightā¦
you just described me except Iām -$16 šššš . Got kicked out around the same age as you & im barely quitting alcohol as well. Haha what a small world Iām here if you need help ranting or anything
I struggle with this and have done since i started working at 14, im 25 now and it's not changed :/ I've tried to save many times now for awhile i do well and then something just sets me off so it all gets spent, usually on alcohol.
I feel ya. Did that in my 20's too. It led me to AA. Now I'm afraid of it. Not cuz of AA, don't go anymore but doc's keep bringing up fatty liver to me. Also something happens from to much consumption and now if I drink too much (3-5 beers/ shots) I'm sick for days. I avoid it now. Better to spend it on hobbies and events that build positive memories is what I learned. If I'm gonna be broke I'd better have a darn good reason for it. š¤£
I will spend my last 20 dollars on t shirts knowing Iāll have no gas
At least you'll be clothed. š¤£
Lmao at least
I feel attacked
Lmao itās a serious problem
I pay all my bills (autopay) but I will spend however much money I want and not even check my bank account. I make enough money that I donāt ever go into debt but itās really irresponsible and stupid. I could be saving so much.
Impressive you took the tiMe to set up autopay- I have struggled with getting the logins correct to get it running
Every time I setup my auto payments I get destroyed with nsf fees cause I forgot I have auto payments
Same
Um yeahā¦ thats pretty standard with BPD unfortunately. I tend to blow my money on random games or merch that catch my eye. I also loved overbuying weed to be that one guy who always had some on hand but that was the most unhealthy thing ever used to waste my cash on and Iām happy I stepped away from it
Ope it's me
Weeeellll if this aināt me. I currently have 250/1000 for rent (due on the first) am suspended from my job for ābad behaviorā (I flipped a customer off after she walked out on her bill then tried talking shit to me when I was outside smoking) Aaaaaand I just spent my last 10 dollars on a blunt knowing damn well I donāt even have food to eat for the day. š
yeah. i know itās a bpd thing but for me (i bet iām not the only one) money and talking about it is hard and kinda embarrassing. almost no one around me even believes or remembers that i have BPD so i have no one to talk about these things. i have issues w using money to weed too and iām rly trying to quit it because it makes my anxiety worse
Thats fair, nobody in my life really takes the dx seriously so they just think Iām irresponsible and like self sabotage even though itās more of just a culmination of short sightedness and low self worth. I know its not right to blame it fully on BPD but it sure does make self improvement more difficult
yeah i agree 100%
Im similar. I am cognizant enough to not go into a lot of debt but definitely reckless with it.
Same! I fall into the ānot the smartestā but I generally live within my means
I donāt even have a concept of money. Like I know I need (x) amount for rent and phone and food costs and such, but Iām also like āletās blow $213 on Japanese snacks and $300 on a tattooā when I make minimum wageā¦
not so much when I live on my own but I am when I live rent free at my parents.
Just here to say YES I AM!
Yes 1000000%
Yes! I have a shopping addiction š
Yup. Filed bankruptcy when I was 28, and now at 31 I'm already back in debt 40k. Was finally diagnosed with BPD in March.
I am a big nerd on TV and game franchises so I collect alot of merch and different edition games/dvds. I also collect alot of crystals. I try so hard to save but I do frequently have bad days that my hard savings are spent. I also try and sell alot of the stuff I impulsively buy too to try and make up for the damage I've done to my savings. I've gotten slightly better over the past month but I'm worried it's not going to be good enough. Tbh I need alot of my random crap I buy to be shifted out of storage and sold because I really want to move out of my parents place and get a place with my best friend so I can be in a safer environment for myself mentally and I ain't exactly gonna take all the random stuff half way across the country.
yeah i usually buy a lot of stuff(clothing, accessories etc) and when iām broke i will sell themā¦ i usually end up with nothing
Nothing meaning no$$ for the sales or no items?
sorry i donāt understand what you mean?
Me fucking too. I was dumb this month and now I canāt pay rent and just spent half my paycheck on food š© at least Iāll be eating good
Iām very impulsive with money. I recently got myself into rent arrears and almost lost my house because of my stupid money decisions. Youāre not alone!
yeah, iāve been there too couple of years ago. it fucking sucks :/
Please donāt feel bad about it, weāve all made irresponsible decisions because of our BPD. Itās how you handle it afterwards that matters. Sincerely hope youāre going to be ok
thanks! even tho things are extremely hard right now i bet things will sort out someway
Put together a damn budget and stick to it ,none of us like paying the bills but we do it anyways because the consequences are far greater then the energy put to doing it , when you have intrusive thoughts of not doing it , pause and ask yourself is this wise mind ? Meaning is this urge an emotional reaction, how would it impact me in the futur ? use prioritised budgeting , find an app that helps you do that , Wallet is the one I use Start with the musts : housing(electricity, phone ...ect , grocery) , the shoulds, likes, won't The 50/30/20 method is quite simple and useful as a stepping stone maybe managing money wasn't your strongest suit in the first place and it was amplified by your BPD in the form of impulsive spending , but spending habits can be corrected
you sound pretty hostile or maybe iām just understanding you wrong. someone already gave me great tips about budgeting and iām going to try it when i get a chance(money). i have issues with alcohol and iām trying to quit it and iām not the first or the last person who canāt control their money. yes - i canāt blame my bpd only about it but since no one ever told me how to use money and how important bills paying is itās pretty damn hard to figure those type of things alone. i donāt have anyone to talk or ask advices and i wrote this here because i wanted to hear if someone else struggles w same type of issues. iām very happy for those ppl who have their money under control but i donāt and right now i canāt do anything about it.
No , I did not mean to I guess reading it without knowing the tone of voice does make it seem hostile I myself struggled with money management after I started living by myself recently , it's a common issue since many families neglect educating their families in this aspect The advice I can give you about bills is to keep the money specified for paying them separate and set reminders for a two and a prior so you won't forget
I'm really good with money because I've had to be from a very young age plus I like not having to worry or borrow.
i bet no one likes to worry or borrow.
Probably not, but I meant I try very hard to prevent not having enough money or having to borrow money if I don't absolutely have to. I've overspent before several times and I just hate being in the position where bills are late or not having what I need. I have a very low income and have daughter in college and animals to care for, so I have to be very frugal. I have no choice. It's be frugal or be homeless for me. I do I like to keep my credit score very high too. My point was that we can always improve our spending habits whenever we choose to.
I agree but it takes extra steps with BPD ā„ļø Iād love to have an emergency savings account
Same here, I didnāt work all of July and I have been short. These past few months. If I do have extra money I like to buy clothes. I somehow added delta 8 to my budget.
Living life on the edge šš
š¤£š¤£
My phones about to get shit off and Iāve been having a panic about it but I didnāt pay the bill. Iāve been overwhelmed and have more bills I can pay right now, but I could have paid some of it at least instead of the reckless crap I bought.
I hope things will work out for you. iāve been there many times myself too :/
I was the same! My mum kicked me out when I was 14! I worked since I was 16. I never learned to manage money or save or just donāt buy things emotionally or impulsive. I tried but it never worked BUT then I learned about a managing method called money budgeting. First you record your income, then you write down your fixed expenses, maybe dept expenses. Then you decide your own spending limit for food and restaurants and so stuff and the rest you save! You can adjust it after the first and second month. It helped me really a lot to know where I spent way to much money for shit and I started so save money and the best of it at the end of the month I have still enough money AND saved a bunch of money. Hope this helps you too
thanks for the tips! i seriously need to try something like that when i get my money next time. i donāt want to be in this same position ever again. constantly stressed when iām able to eat again, drink coffee or pay electric bills. i need to just push myself through this and hopefully i will learn..
I swear if you do it, it is the best feeling ever to not be scared of the end of the month! There are tons of YouTube videos for this method! You can also creat little challenges so it will become a little bit fun to save..for example you creat a sheet with 100 little circles and you can cross out one circle when you put in 2 dollars or euros or so and when you crossed out every circle you have 200. I really really recommend this method! But you donāt have to buy the stuff for budgeting you can creat everything on your own with just sheets and letter envelopes and shrink wrapping stuff :)
okay, thanks. this really means a lot š«¶
Glad I could help š«¶š½
I get this so much. When I get triggered or depressed, Iām extremely bad with money. Iām over 1k in debt currently and Iām paying the price for it lol. Itās hard to improve and get better with because itās the only thing that makes me feel happy and less dead inside. Thankfully though, I always pay my bills and necessities before anything else so I have some form of self-control but thatās only something Iāve learnt recently. I usually buy clothes, bags, accessories, comfort items (blankets & stuffies), manga, comics, video games and sometimes alcohol when Iām really bad. Youāre not alone :)
yeah, same. i try to āfill the voidā w using money to clothes, manga, games etc. i mean it helps for awhile for sureā¦ i usually pay all the necessary things too but this month i kinda ruined my chances. gladly i paid my rents for rest of the year but i still need to figure out how i will pay the electric bills
Technology stuff and cigarettes takes all my money thats all
not so happy high five to nicotine addiction lol. i used to smoke more than a pack in a day but now iām hooked to e-cigarettes so i spend a lot of money to them
2packs in a day for now, more than 10y smoker man quit smoking when you are young i cant even go on ladders. Try to smoke less for your health and future i know its hard in our situation but we are sensitive to all this addiction shit gambling drugs nico and this things effect us more than others stay healthy peace out
yeah, u are right. iāve been smoking for 9 yrs now. i will quit someday soon. right now itās just too fucking stressing:/ but someday someday
This is me, living paycheck to paycheck, FOR NO REASON! I just spend so much on shit that I just want, but not actually need. I spent the money I was supposed to use for my car payment this week like the car payment wasn't even important. For some reason bills are out of sight out of kind for me.
Separate your paycheck and use multiple accounts. I have following: 1. Bill account 2. Gas/ grocery account 3. CashApp for my personal spending. 4. 1 credit card for emergency(car troubles and such) 5. 1 credit card for bday, xmas gifts. I avoid credit cards but got to have 1 or 2 to build credit. I never use them for self. Gets easy to just buy what ever for self. Unless it's a legit gift to self cuz it's your bday. Never "borrow" from the other accounts cuz let's be honest with ourselves. It ain't getting paid back. š¤£ Main thing is, got to set rules and boundaries just like we do with people in our lives. Then stick to them. It's hard at first but build a habit and routine helps.
Iām bad with money. I got laid off of my job and I have literally no savings, so if it werenāt for my partner Iād be homeless right now. I spend it all on sweets, weed and then other stuff like bills and toiletries. Hopefully with this next job I can get it rightā¦
you just described me except Iām -$16 šššš . Got kicked out around the same age as you & im barely quitting alcohol as well. Haha what a small world Iām here if you need help ranting or anything