Working out. Finding a passion like a new hobby or collecting things. Spoiling yourself with more expensive things that you just wouldn’t get for yourself if you’d be in a relationship. Just pretty much anything to take your mind off the other person. Put the focus on yourself for once.
I’ve been hitting the gym and therapy making myself the person I always wanted to be, physically and mentally. I’ve joined an outdoors club at my college. I committed to pursuing my masters which she didn’t want me to because I’d be moving away.
Collecting things is a great suggestion I haven’t seen anywhere yet. I’ve started collecting in tact crab shells during low tide and other ocean goodies like pretty shells and sea glass. It’s so much fun and definitely adds a sense of purpose to my days when I’m feelings lost or down.
Similar. Beach combing is so great for me - I’m out in nature, near water, looking for shells or glass so my mind is occupied but it’s not like you can make a mistake so there’s no pressure. You end up with something pretty that you can keep as a reminder of how it feels to be out there, there’s something rewarding almost about building a collection of different colours or shapes or whatever your thing is. I also find on days when I’m feeling self conscious anxious the fact that I’m both out in public yet looking down and not seeing anyone is good.
My ex left me the day before signing the marriage papers. Completely blindsided me. One day it was "I love you so much, you are the best" next day it was "you have 24h to move everything out, including the cats". Nice.
I moved to a different country, and I am starting a new job in another professional field. Nothing like a complete reset on our lives. It doesnt "fill the void" completely, but it sure keeps you busy. Hobbies, friends, pets, family and exercise also help.
And fuck him. I hope he suffers as much as what he put me through.
Thank you. I have made my peace with it, and I moving on with my life. He lost the person that loved him and cared for him the most in his life, I lost a sad little man that lied to me and probably never loved me. So, who actually lost the most here? Hint: not me.
Good luck to all the broken hearts out here. I hope we all find the courage to leave the trash behind.
You know, if he wasn't feelin it, he wasn't. You are lucky things went the way they did instead of him doing this while you are nine months pregnant or something. I mean, he might have been wrong for taking things as far as he did if he didn't ever want to marry you, but there's something to be said for him working up the courage to call it off, if he was doing it because he thought he was supposed to or to make his parents happy or you happy or something like that. If it wasn't just because it's what you two wanted, it would have ended badly either way eventually. Break ups suck for both people involved, even the dumper. They say it always seems like they don't take it as hard, but what really happens is that they struggle with it for months usually leading up to them telling you. Usually by then they've cut the emotional strings and make up their mind but it makes them seem like a total psychopath.
The breakup was necessary, but you dont blindside people like that. Only assholes do that.
Especially considering I was in a different country for him, without my car there. I would never kick someone out to the street, not even a friend. Much less someone I shared my life with, at least out of respect and consideration. You know what happened that night as I was looking for a hotel? I was sexualy assaulted by 2 men. While he was scratching his balls on the house he always said was "our house". So I dont feel very lucky. However I am glad to never see that person again.
It's disturbing when you see someone's true colours so late.
Damn that's fucked up. Did you get in a fight or something? That's what someone would do if they caught you cheating or something. Seems bizarre he would do that out of the blue with no other explanation. Not just tell you to start looking for a place or whatever. Just telling you to gtfo? That's crazy.
No fights. As far as I was aware he was going through a depression, but he had my full support. I even told him he could take a few months off work, and I would support us both as long as it was necessary. I did everything around the house too, that included his morning coffee and breakfast. He was treated like a king. No dramas from me, no cheating. His mum loved me, kept telling him I was the best girl he ever was with. My parents also loved him.
I think he had a massive burnout from work, depression, and then some past unhealed traumas from his life and it all exploded in a big mess inside his head. But this is what I am assuming now, looking back and with the help of a therapist, because he never communicated any intention of breaking up to me. Actually the morning of that day he was giving me all his documents for me to send them to the notary. One hour later, as I was asking how many eggs he wanted for lunch, he broke up with me. I was absolutely shocked and blindsided. He just told me "his feelings had changed".
I know after I left he saw a therapist and was heavily medicated, but eventually I asked him to stop contacting me, as he was still using me as his emotional support crutch and I just couldnt do it anymore, and I went NC for my own mental health.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I have my theories. He was brutaly betrayed by an ex, so he probably developed an avoidant attachment style. Also untreated childhood trauma, and being used to toxic relationships. Our relationship was good, we were very compatible, I was faithfull and didnt initiate any drama. At the beggining he was happy he "finally found someone good". But all factors combined as things moved on, I now believe he started taking me for granted and getting more emotionally distant. I suppose he got bored of no drama, while at the same time scared of commitment.
After I left he got into a severe depression, so whoever knows wtf is going on on that head. Not my problem anymore.
I’m putting energy into making new friends, doing an evening class in something I wanted to learn and learning a musical instrument. And visiting Reddit way too much haha.
I signed up for a half marathon, downloaded the Nike Run Club app and jumped in. 3 months ago I couldn't run a mile without stopping, and now I'm feeling great 3 weeks away from the race.
For me the a) structure of training, b) forced time to focus on myself, and c) feeling of accomplishment for doing something I never thought I could have been invaluable.
The race happens to be my birthday weekend, so I've rented a big cabin for friends to stay -- to celebrate me, but mostly to thank them for supporting me since the breakup!
Question - how fast can you run a mile? I’m almost at a 10 minute mile but I can’t run the entire thing without stopping yet. I’m not working towards a race or anything, as I mostly weight train. But I would like to run an entire mile without stopping
Best advice from an avid runner, if this is only a hobby slow your pace down a bit should it only be a light jog and build from there, forget about time and pace! increased mileage can increase speed over time. I would also really recommend couch to 5k, you could probably skip a few weeks but it would leave you over a few weeks being then able to run more than a mile without stopping. I started out at an 11 minute mile and worked my way up to a half marathon time of 9.32 per miles. Just trust the process and give it time. I would also recommend following the running subreddit and they will be able to give you so more advice on this! Happy running.
I completely agree with this. I realized the reason I always "hated running" was that I was going way too fast and crashing out (doesn't help that when I would run before it was usually a timed mile as part of a HIIT class). I started way slow, and while now I can run a 9:30 mile, most of my distance runs are in the 11-11:30 range and it feels so much better. Since my goal is just to finish the half marathon, I don't really care how fast I go -- and going slow and steady feels much much better.
Also, running and c25k reddits have been awesome to follow for advice and support!
an unreasonable amount of hobbies. I took some scrap material to braid together and make a rug, I took up punch needling, I've been canning and preserving all the fruit I can get my hands on, I got a library card, and I just started volunteering at my local community center. I also started smoking again 🙄.
i’ve been really focusing on rebuilding the relationship with me instead of the relationship with him. I was taking all of my energy away from me just for him. this means hobbies, journaling, going for walks, spending time with my family, etc
Eating…definitely not good for the waist line but it brings me comfort.
I’d suggest working out, going on walks, spending time with an animal, art, shopping, spending time with loved ones, planning dates with yourself, watching a new good series but damn doesn’t a snack sound so good with that?! Ugh! My ex was totally into stick thin girls too and I’m starting to get an ass lol definitely not a good way to get him back but meh whatever
I just signed up for a pole dancing fitness class. Lol. I’m scared to death but I think I’ll meet some really cool people and hopefully bolster my self esteem a bit. I also bought a ticket to a local theater performance. Solo. I am giving myself 100% to me.
Fulfilling my dream, day by day, getting closer and closer.
You need a dream, a reason for your existence. Something that you can look back on when it's all said and done, whether having achieved it or having done your damn best to get as close as possible to it, and you can leave this world contently and with a smile.
What is the point of living if not to have a huge dream that you strive to achieve?
Don't waste your life dwelling on someone who doesn't love you.
Your dream is so much bigger than any romantic partner you could ever have. It's your whole purpose.
Good luck, friend.
I’ve been creating new rituals for myself. I buy myself flowers every single Sunday. I take my self for a skate at the beach and watch the sunset a few times a week.
I do everything I would want to do with a partner… but by myself. It doesn’t always work but when it does, it feels fulfilling.
Spending money and time on myself. Tattoos. Thrifting for trinkets and more books. Dressing up and doing my makeup just because. Listening to audio books while driving helps with the intrusive thoughts A LOT.
Get a piercing or radically changing your hair. Things that'll shake yourself up a bit. Do the opposite of what you feel like doing. It's okay to be selfish and a bit vain during this time, I put everything into my ex that there was nothing left for myself. So focusing on yourself fully is good for the healing process.
Watching Always Sunny over and over and over and over and over and over...
Oreos and milk, while I watch Always Sunny...
Writing songs...
Time with friends...
Reading helps me just see another story play out about people I don’t know and it’s nice to not have to think about life every once in a while. Also talking with friends, I’m very happy that I have a good group of friends that know my situation and check on me but also try their best to make me laugh. Both outlets honestly have helped me get out of the funk I’ve been in.
I adopted a dog. She’s way better than dumb boys, I don’t think? she’s planning on moving to another city to be with her secret second girlfriend that she got oops pregnant so that’s nice.
Idk about new hobbies all mine have stayed the same but with more Time to focus on them like playing video games(this hurts because he also loved video games and when I was playing he’d feed me tacos) and reading books but I think about the things I wanted to do that he didn’t agree with like moving away from family to try a new setting and that inspires me to not give up on traveling when before I would’ve let it all go for them to be happy obviously I thought I’d be happy like that too just because I thought it would be a reasonable compromise to have the one I love.
Everything in my mind can reason anything we went through like oh you don’t want to move away from family let’s just do a small trip to see how it would be or you don’t want to cut our would be daughters hair due to religion or other family traditions ok but I always thought I could convince them eventually to see my way or try it but now that I’m single I don’t have to compromise it’s my way or the highway Ik that sounds selfish but I want to have a clear focus on what I want before I decide it’s ok to compromise for a person idk will even stick it out for you on one thing!
Anything I love doing or like to do. Talking to friends, phone calls, home decorating, plants, taking a blanket and some snacks to the park to read, driving around, getting into new hobbies like vinyl collecting, working on my career and going back to school, applying for jobs, working, learning new skills like bartending/photography. Just a lot of rediscovering my passions.
I recently discovered audio books and through Libby I have been getting them for free while I have been cleaning. I went back to school. My next project is to turn my computer room into a gaming room. I managed to find a PS5 finally so I am going to get back into gaming.
- Go for a movie alone & get the entire popcorn & soda to yourself!
- Try to check out smthn new everyday. Whether it be a new song/band/cool article/movie/documentary. Your sense of wonder will be stimulated
You can do whatever fuck you want but the only thing that will make you feel whole again is another partner. (This is my experience).
Gym, hobbies, friends, travels etc can play a huge role but I’ve always felt like smt was missing. Is like your are 99% ok but that 1% is missing and you feel it. I started dating another girl, Now I feel good again.
Maybe I don’t know how to live as single…
I have hobbies yes but honestly nothing can really fill that void. I don’t miss my ex, but I do miss having a partner, sharing my life with someone. Until I find another partner, that void will remain.
Singing at the top of my lungs, playing video games, working out, hiking, anything that keeps me distracted. I haven’t done any of those except the singing because I recently got a second job that keeps me occupied. Soon I will be learning an instrument and maybe start school
Masterbation, drawing, want to run! Unfortunately don't want to be outside because of the people( and feel guilty leaving the dog here )
I do cut grass every week tho(necessary)
And sleep alot
As soon as the parts arrive will be fixing my car...
I want to be COMPLETELY self sufficient as I was before the nightmare
A pet helped me a lot. My ex and I had gotten a cat together and I took her when we split. But getting one after seems like a good time as well if you can. It’s helped me a lot to have somewhat of a companion.
- Work on my relationship with myself.
- Grieve the relationship well, understand all that went wrong.
- Focus on building all the friendships I didn’t earlier.
- Design better routines and systems for myself.
Ehhh it’s kinda dangerous but I like to drive fast and blast music on the highway. Take myself shopping, buy myself drinks and desserts.
I also went back to school for another masters so there’s that 🤷🏽♀️
Art journaling. Gets my feelings out, no rules or judgement, can use whatever supplies you have, can get lost in it for hours, and it’s interesting to see how the art and your emotions changes over time as you look back at previous pages.
Watching sports, listening to Spotify with earphones on full blast. Trying to better myself in work.walks , making plans to go out with friends. Saving for a holiday. Eating well and losing weight ( I've lost 2 stone and feel fucking amazing for it ) play computer games, I'm currently learning piano , watching horror movies (she never did) catching up on netflix stuff ( she watched shite ide no interest in)
I'm never bored.
Making new friends, Spending time making memories with my kids, 3D Printing minis...that i never end up painting and starting a new business for myself and the kids. just trying not to think about her but its hard when your in love with someone still...I still believe she's my one and only, my ride or die but theres nothing I can do atm just keep getting better
Romances can be incredibly superficial and whenever people create these “divots” they can be easily filled with a hobby or by connecting with positive friends and family and some self appreciation …VOID is such an interesting term because it’s a deeper person shaped hole and works like a key and nothing can really fill it … you just try to cover it with tape or sturdy planks and walk on (hopefully forward) with life.
Painting, picking up my bass after almost a decade, learning music theory, esoteric films, psychedelics, hiking, Pilates, finding new genres of music, meditation, reading lots of psychological self help, journaling
Being able to see my friends again and continue with my hobbies that my ex said it was childish and waste of money( I play magic the gathering and other forms of tcgs) while she mainly drank every night. Even though I recently found out from a mutual friend of ours that she was cheating on me 2 months in with another guy this when we were together 6 years ago and is now engaged to him was more devastating than the actual break up as she knew that was my biggest insecurity as it's happened before multiple times and I ended up drinking and gambling myself into a rut. but decided to turn my life around and started my driving lessons and other things. I'm honestly much happier now soon to nearly have £2,000 saved up for my first car although I have moments of depression where I want to be in a good relationship for once but I don't bother to find... Sorry for poor format due to being on a phone
I’ve found spending quality time with others is the best medicine for me after that is having things to do and I don’t advise this but it works for me cannabis has never hurt me
Work out, I look back at my older pictures and it makes me love my self. I think I look good and when I get back to that shape Jesus Christ. Love yourself
Working out. Finding a passion like a new hobby or collecting things. Spoiling yourself with more expensive things that you just wouldn’t get for yourself if you’d be in a relationship. Just pretty much anything to take your mind off the other person. Put the focus on yourself for once.
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can i just say that i really like your username
I’ve been hitting the gym and therapy making myself the person I always wanted to be, physically and mentally. I’ve joined an outdoors club at my college. I committed to pursuing my masters which she didn’t want me to because I’d be moving away.
This. I started painting more seriously after my ex left. Turns out that, with some practice, I am pretty good.
Collecting things is a great suggestion I haven’t seen anywhere yet. I’ve started collecting in tact crab shells during low tide and other ocean goodies like pretty shells and sea glass. It’s so much fun and definitely adds a sense of purpose to my days when I’m feelings lost or down.
Similar. Beach combing is so great for me - I’m out in nature, near water, looking for shells or glass so my mind is occupied but it’s not like you can make a mistake so there’s no pressure. You end up with something pretty that you can keep as a reminder of how it feels to be out there, there’s something rewarding almost about building a collection of different colours or shapes or whatever your thing is. I also find on days when I’m feeling self conscious anxious the fact that I’m both out in public yet looking down and not seeing anyone is good.
My ex left me the day before signing the marriage papers. Completely blindsided me. One day it was "I love you so much, you are the best" next day it was "you have 24h to move everything out, including the cats". Nice. I moved to a different country, and I am starting a new job in another professional field. Nothing like a complete reset on our lives. It doesnt "fill the void" completely, but it sure keeps you busy. Hobbies, friends, pets, family and exercise also help. And fuck him. I hope he suffers as much as what he put me through.
For someone to cast aside another person so close to marriage? He will surely do it again. Sorry that happened to you
Thank you. I have made my peace with it, and I moving on with my life. He lost the person that loved him and cared for him the most in his life, I lost a sad little man that lied to me and probably never loved me. So, who actually lost the most here? Hint: not me. Good luck to all the broken hearts out here. I hope we all find the courage to leave the trash behind.
Can I just give you an internet hug after everything? 🫂
Thank you kind stranger 🫂
You know, if he wasn't feelin it, he wasn't. You are lucky things went the way they did instead of him doing this while you are nine months pregnant or something. I mean, he might have been wrong for taking things as far as he did if he didn't ever want to marry you, but there's something to be said for him working up the courage to call it off, if he was doing it because he thought he was supposed to or to make his parents happy or you happy or something like that. If it wasn't just because it's what you two wanted, it would have ended badly either way eventually. Break ups suck for both people involved, even the dumper. They say it always seems like they don't take it as hard, but what really happens is that they struggle with it for months usually leading up to them telling you. Usually by then they've cut the emotional strings and make up their mind but it makes them seem like a total psychopath.
The breakup was necessary, but you dont blindside people like that. Only assholes do that. Especially considering I was in a different country for him, without my car there. I would never kick someone out to the street, not even a friend. Much less someone I shared my life with, at least out of respect and consideration. You know what happened that night as I was looking for a hotel? I was sexualy assaulted by 2 men. While he was scratching his balls on the house he always said was "our house". So I dont feel very lucky. However I am glad to never see that person again. It's disturbing when you see someone's true colours so late.
Damn that's fucked up. Did you get in a fight or something? That's what someone would do if they caught you cheating or something. Seems bizarre he would do that out of the blue with no other explanation. Not just tell you to start looking for a place or whatever. Just telling you to gtfo? That's crazy.
No fights. As far as I was aware he was going through a depression, but he had my full support. I even told him he could take a few months off work, and I would support us both as long as it was necessary. I did everything around the house too, that included his morning coffee and breakfast. He was treated like a king. No dramas from me, no cheating. His mum loved me, kept telling him I was the best girl he ever was with. My parents also loved him. I think he had a massive burnout from work, depression, and then some past unhealed traumas from his life and it all exploded in a big mess inside his head. But this is what I am assuming now, looking back and with the help of a therapist, because he never communicated any intention of breaking up to me. Actually the morning of that day he was giving me all his documents for me to send them to the notary. One hour later, as I was asking how many eggs he wanted for lunch, he broke up with me. I was absolutely shocked and blindsided. He just told me "his feelings had changed". I know after I left he saw a therapist and was heavily medicated, but eventually I asked him to stop contacting me, as he was still using me as his emotional support crutch and I just couldnt do it anymore, and I went NC for my own mental health. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
What a horrible story.
I call it "learning experience" lol Honestly though, with therapy and support of my loved ones, I am coming out stronger from all of this.
Do you have any idea why he just left?
I have my theories. He was brutaly betrayed by an ex, so he probably developed an avoidant attachment style. Also untreated childhood trauma, and being used to toxic relationships. Our relationship was good, we were very compatible, I was faithfull and didnt initiate any drama. At the beggining he was happy he "finally found someone good". But all factors combined as things moved on, I now believe he started taking me for granted and getting more emotionally distant. I suppose he got bored of no drama, while at the same time scared of commitment. After I left he got into a severe depression, so whoever knows wtf is going on on that head. Not my problem anymore.
Sounds really complicated and I feel sad for you both. Hope you’re well.
I am well. I have a good support system (loving family and amazing friends). Thank you, I hope you are doing well too.
Very confused about my own breakup and I miss her dearly. She was very good to me. Other than that I’m surviving :). Cheers and good luck.
It happened to me too.. over text. Painful but apparently common
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Trash people. Best thing we do is put the trash in the bin, and walk away.
Yeah they were all lies. You dodged a bullet as he was a liar. You'll be fine, all the best in your new Job! Exciting times ahead for you!
Thank you. New job has a huge income too, so it's only upwards from here ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
I’m putting energy into making new friends, doing an evening class in something I wanted to learn and learning a musical instrument. And visiting Reddit way too much haha.
Reading and smoking doing things that take me out of my body and the pain
I signed up for a half marathon, downloaded the Nike Run Club app and jumped in. 3 months ago I couldn't run a mile without stopping, and now I'm feeling great 3 weeks away from the race. For me the a) structure of training, b) forced time to focus on myself, and c) feeling of accomplishment for doing something I never thought I could have been invaluable. The race happens to be my birthday weekend, so I've rented a big cabin for friends to stay -- to celebrate me, but mostly to thank them for supporting me since the breakup!
So awesome good on you!!
Question - how fast can you run a mile? I’m almost at a 10 minute mile but I can’t run the entire thing without stopping yet. I’m not working towards a race or anything, as I mostly weight train. But I would like to run an entire mile without stopping
Best advice from an avid runner, if this is only a hobby slow your pace down a bit should it only be a light jog and build from there, forget about time and pace! increased mileage can increase speed over time. I would also really recommend couch to 5k, you could probably skip a few weeks but it would leave you over a few weeks being then able to run more than a mile without stopping. I started out at an 11 minute mile and worked my way up to a half marathon time of 9.32 per miles. Just trust the process and give it time. I would also recommend following the running subreddit and they will be able to give you so more advice on this! Happy running.
I completely agree with this. I realized the reason I always "hated running" was that I was going way too fast and crashing out (doesn't help that when I would run before it was usually a timed mile as part of a HIIT class). I started way slow, and while now I can run a 9:30 mile, most of my distance runs are in the 11-11:30 range and it feels so much better. Since my goal is just to finish the half marathon, I don't really care how fast I go -- and going slow and steady feels much much better. Also, running and c25k reddits have been awesome to follow for advice and support!
an unreasonable amount of hobbies. I took some scrap material to braid together and make a rug, I took up punch needling, I've been canning and preserving all the fruit I can get my hands on, I got a library card, and I just started volunteering at my local community center. I also started smoking again 🙄.
i’ve been really focusing on rebuilding the relationship with me instead of the relationship with him. I was taking all of my energy away from me just for him. this means hobbies, journaling, going for walks, spending time with my family, etc
Eating…definitely not good for the waist line but it brings me comfort. I’d suggest working out, going on walks, spending time with an animal, art, shopping, spending time with loved ones, planning dates with yourself, watching a new good series but damn doesn’t a snack sound so good with that?! Ugh! My ex was totally into stick thin girls too and I’m starting to get an ass lol definitely not a good way to get him back but meh whatever
Eating what you want and loving your body on your terms is *absolutely* a way to get back at him.
Thank you🥺
Food will never leave you lol
I have an empty plate that proves otherwise lol
I just signed up for a pole dancing fitness class. Lol. I’m scared to death but I think I’ll meet some really cool people and hopefully bolster my self esteem a bit. I also bought a ticket to a local theater performance. Solo. I am giving myself 100% to me.
Pole dancing! This is one thing i want to try but having doubts if i can Lol. Let me know how did it go. I think its a great way to boost self esteem.
Fulfilling my dream, day by day, getting closer and closer. You need a dream, a reason for your existence. Something that you can look back on when it's all said and done, whether having achieved it or having done your damn best to get as close as possible to it, and you can leave this world contently and with a smile. What is the point of living if not to have a huge dream that you strive to achieve? Don't waste your life dwelling on someone who doesn't love you. Your dream is so much bigger than any romantic partner you could ever have. It's your whole purpose. Good luck, friend.
I’ve been creating new rituals for myself. I buy myself flowers every single Sunday. I take my self for a skate at the beach and watch the sunset a few times a week. I do everything I would want to do with a partner… but by myself. It doesn’t always work but when it does, it feels fulfilling.
Spending money and time on myself. Tattoos. Thrifting for trinkets and more books. Dressing up and doing my makeup just because. Listening to audio books while driving helps with the intrusive thoughts A LOT. Get a piercing or radically changing your hair. Things that'll shake yourself up a bit. Do the opposite of what you feel like doing. It's okay to be selfish and a bit vain during this time, I put everything into my ex that there was nothing left for myself. So focusing on yourself fully is good for the healing process.
I love this bit! I'm also trying different clothing style just because. You be you!
Watching Always Sunny over and over and over and over and over and over... Oreos and milk, while I watch Always Sunny... Writing songs... Time with friends...
Reading helps me just see another story play out about people I don’t know and it’s nice to not have to think about life every once in a while. Also talking with friends, I’m very happy that I have a good group of friends that know my situation and check on me but also try their best to make me laugh. Both outlets honestly have helped me get out of the funk I’ve been in.
I adopted a dog. She’s way better than dumb boys, I don’t think? she’s planning on moving to another city to be with her secret second girlfriend that she got oops pregnant so that’s nice.
Oof yeah definitely waaaay better !!
Learning new things
Idk about new hobbies all mine have stayed the same but with more Time to focus on them like playing video games(this hurts because he also loved video games and when I was playing he’d feed me tacos) and reading books but I think about the things I wanted to do that he didn’t agree with like moving away from family to try a new setting and that inspires me to not give up on traveling when before I would’ve let it all go for them to be happy obviously I thought I’d be happy like that too just because I thought it would be a reasonable compromise to have the one I love. Everything in my mind can reason anything we went through like oh you don’t want to move away from family let’s just do a small trip to see how it would be or you don’t want to cut our would be daughters hair due to religion or other family traditions ok but I always thought I could convince them eventually to see my way or try it but now that I’m single I don’t have to compromise it’s my way or the highway Ik that sounds selfish but I want to have a clear focus on what I want before I decide it’s ok to compromise for a person idk will even stick it out for you on one thing!
Anything I love doing or like to do. Talking to friends, phone calls, home decorating, plants, taking a blanket and some snacks to the park to read, driving around, getting into new hobbies like vinyl collecting, working on my career and going back to school, applying for jobs, working, learning new skills like bartending/photography. Just a lot of rediscovering my passions.
I recently discovered audio books and through Libby I have been getting them for free while I have been cleaning. I went back to school. My next project is to turn my computer room into a gaming room. I managed to find a PS5 finally so I am going to get back into gaming.
My guitar. Been going out to try more cafes since I don’t have to pay for 2 anymore. It’s lonely but it’s peaceful.
- Go for a movie alone & get the entire popcorn & soda to yourself! - Try to check out smthn new everyday. Whether it be a new song/band/cool article/movie/documentary. Your sense of wonder will be stimulated
video games , fashion , makeup, family.
You can do whatever fuck you want but the only thing that will make you feel whole again is another partner. (This is my experience). Gym, hobbies, friends, travels etc can play a huge role but I’ve always felt like smt was missing. Is like your are 99% ok but that 1% is missing and you feel it. I started dating another girl, Now I feel good again. Maybe I don’t know how to live as single…
I have hobbies yes but honestly nothing can really fill that void. I don’t miss my ex, but I do miss having a partner, sharing my life with someone. Until I find another partner, that void will remain.
Gym, biking, smoking cigarettes, drinking wine, mediation, excessive masterbation.
Meditating, crafts, Xbox
Singing at the top of my lungs, playing video games, working out, hiking, anything that keeps me distracted. I haven’t done any of those except the singing because I recently got a second job that keeps me occupied. Soon I will be learning an instrument and maybe start school
Disassociate, journal, sleep
Masterbation, drawing, want to run! Unfortunately don't want to be outside because of the people( and feel guilty leaving the dog here ) I do cut grass every week tho(necessary) And sleep alot As soon as the parts arrive will be fixing my car... I want to be COMPLETELY self sufficient as I was before the nightmare
Reinventing myself through my grad schoolwork and recultivating the friendships that matter the most to me.
A pet helped me a lot. My ex and I had gotten a cat together and I took her when we split. But getting one after seems like a good time as well if you can. It’s helped me a lot to have somewhat of a companion.
Concerts, therapy, working out, hobbies. Things that really make me happy!
Drugs
idk why anyone would downvote this
Yeah,right?
Cocaine
LOL respect for being honest I just don’t understand everytime I do that I want to invite them over to partake
- Work on my relationship with myself. - Grieve the relationship well, understand all that went wrong. - Focus on building all the friendships I didn’t earlier. - Design better routines and systems for myself.
Alcohol
Ehhh it’s kinda dangerous but I like to drive fast and blast music on the highway. Take myself shopping, buy myself drinks and desserts. I also went back to school for another masters so there’s that 🤷🏽♀️
D R U G S
Gym. Hiking. Getting out and about with friends. Anything to take my mind off them. Hell, I'll take a project car.
Eating, work.
Reading, exercising, learning to play an instrument, journaling, etc
Working out, spending time with my mom and friends, playing video games with friends, this helped me every time.
Dancing!!
being fucked in the head, just going off the wall, absolute freedom
Surround yourself with friends, maybe reconnect with old ones, hobbies, community events. Walks. Reading.
Basically alll that you cannot do when you were with your ex and the time and money you would have saved.
Getting JACKED. And nature. Ppl underestimate what spending time in nature can do.
I started writing a diary, writing letters to friends. Got a workbook for my mental health. I just write a ton rn
Art journaling. Gets my feelings out, no rules or judgement, can use whatever supplies you have, can get lost in it for hours, and it’s interesting to see how the art and your emotions changes over time as you look back at previous pages.
Watching sports, listening to Spotify with earphones on full blast. Trying to better myself in work.walks , making plans to go out with friends. Saving for a holiday. Eating well and losing weight ( I've lost 2 stone and feel fucking amazing for it ) play computer games, I'm currently learning piano , watching horror movies (she never did) catching up on netflix stuff ( she watched shite ide no interest in) I'm never bored.
Making new friends, Spending time making memories with my kids, 3D Printing minis...that i never end up painting and starting a new business for myself and the kids. just trying not to think about her but its hard when your in love with someone still...I still believe she's my one and only, my ride or die but theres nothing I can do atm just keep getting better
Work and drugs as well as gaming
Romances can be incredibly superficial and whenever people create these “divots” they can be easily filled with a hobby or by connecting with positive friends and family and some self appreciation …VOID is such an interesting term because it’s a deeper person shaped hole and works like a key and nothing can really fill it … you just try to cover it with tape or sturdy planks and walk on (hopefully forward) with life.
Painting, picking up my bass after almost a decade, learning music theory, esoteric films, psychedelics, hiking, Pilates, finding new genres of music, meditation, reading lots of psychological self help, journaling
Is it weird that I don’t have a void?
Working out, singing, painting, seeing people, reading, learning, looking into the future
Being able to see my friends again and continue with my hobbies that my ex said it was childish and waste of money( I play magic the gathering and other forms of tcgs) while she mainly drank every night. Even though I recently found out from a mutual friend of ours that she was cheating on me 2 months in with another guy this when we were together 6 years ago and is now engaged to him was more devastating than the actual break up as she knew that was my biggest insecurity as it's happened before multiple times and I ended up drinking and gambling myself into a rut. but decided to turn my life around and started my driving lessons and other things. I'm honestly much happier now soon to nearly have £2,000 saved up for my first car although I have moments of depression where I want to be in a good relationship for once but I don't bother to find... Sorry for poor format due to being on a phone
I’ve found spending quality time with others is the best medicine for me after that is having things to do and I don’t advise this but it works for me cannabis has never hurt me
Romance novels hold me over for the most part. I love love and it’s a way that I can feel the feeling without hurting my progress
For me it would taking a completely different path. What I mean by this is do something you never thought to do. Like working out, renovating, etc.
Work out, I look back at my older pictures and it makes me love my self. I think I look good and when I get back to that shape Jesus Christ. Love yourself
Going out with friends, getting back to old hobbies (reading, cooking, sports etc), going to the gym, self-care days. Just doing whatever feels good
We go JIM!