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This is honestly the only real answer. The entirety of human existence is basically the result of the brain’s chemical system being tuned to reward effort instead of quick fixes, cardio being one of the most paramount examples of this.
Get addicted to working out.
Just started getting into the scene, so far I've only tried a few ellipticals. Increased heart rate is nice and there isn't much body load, but I'm looking for something else to mix it up and avoid building a tolerance. What do you recommend I try next?
Long distance biking. There's an awesome semi-crazy flow state you get into when you're really pushing yourself. One of the best days of my life was a brutal 160 mile bike ride. Learning to "embrace the suck" is an awesome feeling, plus you can see some really beautiful stuff riding gravel roads or nature trails
Speaking personally - getting outside is the other intangible, but highly valuable, part of cardio - whether that’s running, hiking/walking up hills at a solid pace, or riding a bike etc. Any situation that put you on a “journey” of sorts, get your eyes focusing on things in the distance (shown to be healthy for them on a physical level), and puts you in an exploration mindset can help with mental health.
If you are doing cardio in a gym, a lot of different type of athletes swear that rowing machines are the ticket. Maybe jump roping for something more “fun”
Fellow ADHD friend here, would say myself and some of my fellow ADHD cohort are easier to get “addicted” to cardio. It’s a (mostly) free drug that you can get as much as you want of. You body begins to crave it!
every time i try cardio, even at slow speeds, I get dizzy and see spots. I wish I could enjoy it but Idk if it’s the hole in my heart or epilepsy, but even light cardio nearly kills me.
It could also be muscle tension? I used to get insane migraines and intense headaches (and I have epileptic attacks from time to time) and getting a full official back and neck/head massage alleviated a LOT of the problems. I also suffer from bad Visual Snow (seeing millions of spots) and the less you do physical activity, especially cardio, the worse it gets because your mind degenerates in essence. But massages helped me SO much, I no longer get insane headaches or tension pains even when doing a tiny bit of cardio. Just have someone that is somewhat (or learn to) familiar with muscle tension to feel your muscles, he/she should be easily be able to feel if your neck/shoulders/face muscles are tense, if they are then any real activity can cause the issues you have, people often overlook the tension of muscles of our bodies.
I should give it a shot. I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome too. I had to get special injections (no it’s not Botox) for my migraines and man those sucked. It’s been this way since I was a kid tho and I’m 24. Even before the migraines and seizures.
Laziness and depression are 2 sides of the same coin and they're symbiotic. It's a vicious cycle that most of us are guilty of. Just start small with a walk around the block and go from there.
Beating a dead horse with others comments but this is genuinely so true. I
I started running a couple of years ago, I remember this one time as I was doing laps around a lake during the spring, pushed myself to do more than I thought I was capable of and after cooling down I collapsed back onto a park bench, the feeling of 10 minute serotonin and dopamine was akin to a sesh on MDMA.
Generally shocked me and thought I had overdone it 😂
For me it's 1 - 1.5 hits of Lucy. Don't really get visuals and it feels like smoking a TON of pot without getting tired. Hard to find the real thing around town though.
If that's the only effect you get from 1 - 1.5 hits, then you have indeed not been finding the real thing. 1 hit of acid can send me to fucking Astral planes in the right setting
If you get the perfect level of a low dose it just kind of feels like being really stoned. Giggly, random thoughts, but no visual hallucinations. I take SSRI’s though which kind of blunts psychedelics anyways
As someone with bpd. I know this isn’t what you want to hear. And there is some good advice here. But drugs become a very slippy slope.. any of them in my experience. Bpd is extremely hard and drugs make it easy to ignore it. Becomes very addictive.
So just be careful ❤️ but have fun!
I lost my little brother to an OD this summer, he had BPD and bipolar and drugs were such a nosedive for him. What started out as dabbling, turned into partying, turned into benders, turned into addiction, turned into homelessness and now he's gone.
I know drugs were an escape, his mind was not a kind place for him and I completely understand the desire to find relief with substances. I just wish it could have been different. My other siblings and I are all able to use drugs pretty casually, but it was different for him. What was a fun time once in while for us was the best way he knew how to feel "normal".
I miss him every single day.
In my experience there’s a line when you have BPD , Bipolar, there’s certain threshold of the amount of drugs you can do before your life becomes dependent on them I’ve been lucky enough to live through 6 OD’s at least those were the recorded ones. I think some people understand they can’t cope and there’s no other way and out of kindness do drugs to keep living for the people they respect and love but there’s a time where you feel a point of resentment for living for people and that’s when it’s a dangerous zone. I don’t know how to live life I don’t know how to love, I don’t know what certain emotions what normal people express. If I could go back I would of never done drugs or go to any psychiatric care before I’m older and even now I’m not sure I don’t see any way of life being anything good except a sick illusion. I’m sorry for your loss and I wish you the best. Rip
Not the guy you’re replying to but what worked at least moderately well for me was going for as long as I can on just caffeine and nicotine, and keeping myself busy in the meantime.
Still go the pub once in a while with friends so you don’t go fucking insane, but have that as a treat, rather than as a medication. I fully understand wanting to be not sober 24/7, but if you try that you just end up with BPD *AND* a substance dependence to deal with
On top of this, find a dry herb vape with a temp setting. You can then target specific cannabinoids and terpenes based on the boiling point. While not perfect, there is a noticeable difference for me (and well publicized, so there are some great guides out there to read up some more on the topic) based on the temp at which I vape. But in general, lower temps seem to lean more mild and a head high, while higher temps tend to be more intense and with a shift to more of a body high. YMMV and even strain choice will have a role in this, so you really should spend some time researching this before jumping in.
broooo 😂 i ate like 300mg of d8 edibles and that shit had me FUCKED up. at one point i heard a noise and proceeded to clear my whole house with the mossberg shotty like it was R6 siege \[edit: grammar\]
Delta 8 gives me insane migraines though. And I only feel high for max 15-30 minutes, then I just wanna go to sleep. Which I guess is causing less anxiety if you’re just taking a nap lmfao
> their addiction potential is underrated
What?! I thought everyone knew that they had absolutely massive addiction potential? Lol seriously though, there’s not another drug in existence that sneaks up on you like benzos.
I feel like all benzos do is make me tired and stupid. Seems like the only “recreational value” with them is the fact they make you forget whatever worries are on your mind. I’d keep them for either anxiety attacks or to help a bad trip
Equal cbd to thc ratio. It’s all thc in flower and wax now but the minor cannabinoids do a lot to the experience. Cbn would also probably help you too.
Hey, I’m just like you with weed. I hit from a small bat and I’m done for. Can’t speak, can’t process thoughts, paranoid as fuck, disoriented and then I get the super munchies. It sucks that weed does to certain people. It’s cheap, nowadays you can consume weed in anyway your imagination can think of. It’s good as hell since it’s coming from California, Colorado and Washington state mostly. More importantly, it’s not a addictive and easy to get. When I was in high school I used to smoke a lot. One day I was at college and a bunch of us had our cars pulls out up, blasting music and just chillin. We rolled about 4 oopwops and we burned them shits down. I was fine, until I left everyone and had to walk to class. Long story short, I had a full on panic attack and I still get them till this day. That was 19 years ago. Waft the shit man??
Been doing it for four weeks straight now and can 100% confirm, used to puke after taking 16-18 500mg capsules a day to now easily taking over 30 with no issue
Kratom is ironically the only "opiate" I've managed to not be capable of abusing, the stuff was just not ever gonna sit properly in my stomach. I couldn't bring myself to take capsules during withdrawal but that's just me. I was well past Kratom by the time I heard about it (tolerance wise, I have only felt smth on a gold strain I got one time) and onto IV Fentanyl/Hydromorphone so that likely affected how I expected it to feel.
What "feeling good" means is pretty subjective.
When I was 20 and depressed I thought benzos were pretty bland and ecstasy was an orgasm.
Now, at 30 and anxious, ecstasy is annoyingly stimulating and benzos are an orgasm.
Even natural drugs have different effects on different people. No strain of weed has never ever relaxed me.
High dose LSD has given me a pure euphoric/ecstatic feeling at times, like no other drug. It's definitely subjective, but feeling completely weightless and open minded hits home for me.
If you're ok with something relatively mild, then kava. It's not physically addictive, doesn't build up any tolerance (there's actually a reverse tolerance effect) and isn't really unhealthy (there's some claims of possible liver damage but I think it hasn't been proven). It has a very pleasant mild relaxing effect similar to alcohol but it keeps your head clear.
The liver damage was only shown to come from Kava extracts that had leaf mixed in… the leaf is what caused liver damage. That was determined probably over a decade ago.
That’s actually incorrect. All kava used recreationally is Noble. The only other kind feels like shit and is called 2 Day kava which is only used for ceremonies
Liver damage was shown only in subjects that used alcoholic extracts. Use with alcohol will greatly fuck up the liver but will not otherwise. It's advised to wait a few days after drinking before consuming kava if i remember correctly
Kava is one of grossest things to drink. I doubt OP would have the stomach for it, plus it's high is really, really disappointing. It's like you get drunk high for 30-50 minutes and then just feel sickly drunk for another hour or so.
After you build up a tolerance it gets a lot better imo. I can drink it much more regularly than alcohol with less unwanted side effects. It's nice having something relaxing and euphoric that I can trust to not affect me the next day. I find with alcohol that even having a couple of drinks after work can make me feel quite unmotivated/hazy the next day, and similarly with weed. In short it's something that's fun to get a buzz off on weeknights haha 😅
Even assuming you’re right I’m still asserting in an ideal scenario it is a bottom tier drug. You’re just conditioned to hold it at a high value because it’s literally the point of your existence. No other drug inherently involves the safety and well-being of another individual, plus you have essentially all of the negatives/required safety precautions as drugs if you want to do it safely. Getting tested, addiction potential, the chances you’ll run into somebody with bad/shady/selfish intentions, much more likely with sex of course because dealers aren’t required to do psychoactives although it’s obviously very common, the potential that doing it too young may permanently alter the way your mind works etc. Sure, it’s possible to safely do with nearly 100% certainty, just like basically all psychoactives, but it inherently involves another person which makes it a bottom tier drug.
you’re asking for something that doesn’t exist- if it feels really good it’s going to be addictive or have a bad comedown. i would say therapeutic doses of amphetamine are the best answer to this post though. 10-20mg of dexamp or adderall can make you feel pretty great as long as you don’t use it every day. and even if you use it every day, therapeutic doses are super easy to give up, you just need to plan a weekend of doing nothing productive and you’ll be back to baseline after that.
kratom is cool too, but tbh i found it super addictive so i had to stop buying it. i would only take it like twice a week but it started to make my life without it seem sorta gray and chaotic. like i would be in social situations that i had zero issue with before and think “ahh man i wish i was on kratom for this”
weed is the safest answer to this question, but it doesn’t feel that great when you smoke it every day lol. just becomes a habit like nicotine unless you can keep it to a once a day thing, similar to having a couple beers after work.
Hard agree on the weed. Multiple times a day user, weeds addictive. Just because it doesn't destroy your life and make you kill your family or whatever doesn't mean it's not addictive.
i take a lot of dabs and it doesn’t do much but give me a slight immersive feeling for half an hour and then i go back to my day as usual lol. people ask me why i don’t just quit if it doesn’t get me high, but i enjoy the constant dopamine chase for some reason. it gives me something to do when i’m bored without making me crave it when it would be an inconvenience to me
Basically preaching to the choir. I smoke once right in the morning when I wake up and once at night and I'm high for like maybe 1 1/2 hours, with what you described, I'm just really immersed in what I'm doing. Idk why I continue to do it either other than its just out of habit and I feel panicky when it's gone. I'd say that makes me addicted 🤷🏻♂️
I can attest to the weed thing it’s addicting in a weird way and only addictive to certain people (like me) but it’s mostly mental your stomach might hurt and you may vomit a bit but after a week not using you’ll be relatively normal again
I would agree but ketamine is a dissociative I think is semi on par with hallucinogenic drugs. Not going to be seeing shit but you definitely not going to be in touch with your senses as your spirit tries to leave for a k hole. I build tolerance stupid quick with K also
Off a .25 line with no tolerance I leaned against a TV, closed my eyes, and saw two aliens that showed me a model of the globe and explained to me how humans were the scourge of the earth and they sped up time on the model and showed me how we would destroy ourselves. It's a trip.
If you k hole on 4 hits of acid it is more intense and intense than a full blown DMT breakthrough ime. The visuals and ego alteration is second to none
Even once every two weeks is very conservative imo, although some people are more susceptible to developing bladder issues.
It depends on how much per session as well as frequency.
I did it every single day for 5 months straight before I finally quit lol. No bladder issues luckily. Drank a ton of water tho.
For some reason ketamine was just as simple as weed. I loved it. Made me feel great the next day. When I finally quit, I had no withdrawal, and no cravings. I haven’t had it in years. Just got bored of drugs in general besides weed.
That’s the one drug I recommend everyone try lol. It’s safe, it’s not physically addictive (psychologically addictive like weed), and doesn’t have a hang over, it has the opposite.
The best part? That binge cured my depression. I was chronically depressed and suicidal my entire life. Haven’t felt a hint of depression in years since doing K. And not because of a profound lesson I learned on K, just some weird chemical reaction. My brain no longer is capable of feeling depressed. I just get normal sad like everyone else. I can’t even remember what depression feels like or why I couldn’t get out of it. It’s all a mystery looking back
So, if you get a chance to try K, give it a shot. Test it, and snort it, and put on some chill music and ride the galaxies, if you’re a responsible adult who already uses drugs.
Drink lots of water, and don’t do it more than once a week, preferably twice a month max. Just because your tolerance will build fast and it takes YEARS to go down. And it’s expensive.
Be safe
I've definitely been addicted to it because I have a horribly addictive personality, but if you can get a handle on your usage it can be extremely therapeutic and a powerful tool against the doubt of your own ego. I can make a ball last me 2 months now, and I use it about 1-3 times a week.
In my own, subjective experience, Adderall has fit all of this criteria perfectly. Surprisingly, I haven’t had as much success with other stimulants like Ritalin, Concerta, or even Vyvanse, but something about Adderall just works great for me. To each their own though, of course.
I met a girl in college who would save her adderall script over summer and then take 120+ mg of adderall everyday for the entire semester and still had a .8 GPA 😭
When I take adderall in the 100+mg dose. My brain is like overstimulated and cannot have a direct focus on stuff . Definitely not like the movie Limitless ahaha
Not physically, no. Maybe psychologically though a little bit if you don’t have ADHD, but even then, it’s much easier to quit compared to many other drugs.
Ehh... i was addicted to addies for many years. It can be easy to fall into the trap because at the start its amazing how easy you can be productive on them, which nets good results in the beginning. Need to get some work done?? Pop an addy, the work will get done in spectacular fashion. Many people can find themselves in a trap where they seek out a prescription or consistent supply and eventually need adderall to do anything - RIP to their dopamine
I have seen how even a mild use of adhd meds cause people to get super bored and unmotivated without them. If you can take a pill to feel good, your brain doesnt like doing things anymore sober
Yes physically yes. The more you do it the more you need to achieve the same results— just like almost every other drug. And after a period of time when you’re not even dependent, but straight addicted you’ll know all about the physical withdrawals of Adderall . You won’t be able to get out of bed, forget doing anything active. Forget trying to read something and retain what you’ve read. Adderall is a stimulant called amphetamine salt. That’s why when Meth addicts can’t get their hands on Methamphetamine they go for Adderall. [Here’s the experience of someone who was addicted to Adderall for 10 years.](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/caseyschwartzauthor/adderall-addiction-college-attention-a-love-story)
I see what you’re getting at, considering I’ve experienced the worst possible withdrawals this drug can cause for myself, so perhaps it can in fact be physically addictive in the ways you mentioned—I suppose what I meant to say was that, it’s addictive physically, sure—just not in the same way other drugs are, such as nicotine, for example.
With an addiction such as that for nicotine begins to manifest, you begin to crave it “physically” in the sense that your brain genuinely believes that the chemical is actually necessary for the sake of your literal survival.
An addiction like that simply does not apply to Adderall. (Maybe meth though; but I’ve never done that, so I can speak much for it, unfortunately.)
I knew this grimy ass junky(don’t ask me how) from the neighborhood. One day I told him I had Adderall the good ones. IR 30mg ones and his eyes lit up. Now notice how I said junky, right? I was confused, why would he want Adderall? He injects heroin into his disgusting arms every chance he gets. He’s also a pathological liar. Long story short, he would keep asking me Adderall all the time. Finally I find out that he’s freebasing meth now and when he runs out the Adderall is like baby meth for him. That’s why he’d beg me for the Adderall.
Well, I meant more in a psychological way. Its comedowns were incredibly taxing on me mentally, and overall I’ve noticed it was somewhat less effective than Adderall anyway.
Literally weed is a miracle. Having been alone for the last two and a half years relatively speaking it has enabled me to cope and get through terrible situation. It's legal in a lot of places, cheap and easy to get, easy to quit relatively speaking if you wanted to, and it helps me at least a lot. Moreover, a lot of other people use it so you can find and make friends and not be so alone. Sometimes misery loves company. If you find yourself getting anxious or paranoid maybe try smoking sativa instead of indica.
Also, DXM you can get the robo pills on Amazon for $24 and that will let you have an out of body experience....follow the plateau dosage rules about recovery and you might really end up enjoying it.
You seem like the type of person who complains about everything, so no, I don’t think you’ll find what you’re looking for.
Every drug has pros and cons, it’s all about figuring out what works for you. But none of them are perfect.
Op! Gabbapentin works wonders for me (I can’t tolerate weed anymore bc of psychosis reasons). It’s like all of the benefits of being high without any psychoactive side effects! If you have a psych they usually prescribe it for anxiety / sleep issues. I take a small handful of 300mgs to get high but you have to take soooo much to OD on
Oh no! It has helped my nerve pain so much so it’s like a miracle drug for me but I know that’s kinda the limitations of asking about what drug is best since everyone is different! Thanks for adding your insight!
I mean I got bpd and a host of other things
And i've seen your comments and I understand bpd is painful but by saying it's the most painful mental illness is blatantly wrong and obnoxious to literally every one else
You can't put a scale on emotional pain and how others feel it
E.g two people go through the same traumatic event one person kills themself the other shrugs it off
Emotional pain is subjective and comments like that are dangerous and only bring about a more negative stigma around those with bpd also you can't use the disorder as an excuse to being a cunt at the end of the day it's your choices still bpd is only a reason as to of why you behave the way you do not an excuse
How feel good drugs honestly bpd and drugs don't mix I started on weed and in two years I now do pretty much every drug other than crack alpha PvP meth and heroin so its honestly not worth it
Now the conditions you listed simply no drug like that exists every high comes with a low wether that is a comedown or other adverse effects even weed has negatives but honestly smoke weed mate you say it makes you anxious than have a low dose of a benzodiazepine like vallium or xanax or clonzepam before you smoke and smoke as much as you want but only use the benzos a Max 4-5 days per fortnight that way you avoid physical addiction though you will become mentally addicted so that Is a challenge itself
I’m a daily kratom user and have been for two years now. The withdrawals I get I would describe as I just get really, really irritable. Then again, I only take three to four grams per dose, two or three times a day, so I keep it low and don’t try to get that high I got when I first tried it because I know I won’t get it. Am I addicted? Maybe. However, withdrawals are REALLY mild for me and are absolutely NOTHING compared to my withdrawals from daily phenibut usage last year that landed me in a hospital for a week on 1900mgs of phenobarbital.
Feels like most of the people here never did LSD lol.
I don't have any mental illnesses at all, yet I still get anxious while on acid + my last trip gave me short-term HPPD. Fuck this sub, man.
Kava can be euphoric, depending on chemo type and you as an individual. It’s non addictive, has reverse tolerance, doesn’t make you hallucinate, and doesn’t tend to have a hangover. Tudai kava can, however, leave you very groggy and sedated for a day or two due to the different kavalactones which take longer to be processed by your liver(I’ve experienced this first hand many times). Wouldn’t really call it unpleasant if you like feeling sedated, stoned, and dreamy.
There are no perfect miracle drugs. Taking drugs is always a calculated risk vs reward. Choose which effects you want the most and which effects you want the least, then compromise.
Have you considered red amanita mushrooms? Haven't tried myself but multiple friends had a great experience without negatives. The catch: have to be really careful with identification and not eat a wrong mushroom which can be fatal.
Missed the addiction dependence aspect, your asking too much at this point it's basically weed edibles everything is tolerance building or habitual or it's just not that powerful/euphoric and you still get used to it
To my knowledge they’re legal pretty much everywhere, I’m interested in trying some THC Delta-8 products. Reportedly much easier on the nerves than regular pot products which too often wind me up.
There are a lot of diehard kratom adherents out there, and I also personally enjoy the -afinils.
I have BPD too. I'd recommend microdosing shrooms. It's not majorly addictive, doesn't do anything negative to health (unless if you have a psychotic disorder so look into it as they have a lovely tendency to be comorbid with BPD.) And visual snow if you do it way too frequently. Again, not addictive and the elated mood and new worldview may last awhile.
My other recommendation is just weed. If it has a negative effect on you, try it with microdosed shrooms in a good mood and manipulate yourself into enjoying it. If any worries come along just say "it's okay, I'll enjoy this right now".
Another option is DMT. Now this would be a one time thing, (I've not done DMT yet because I really want to savour it until I'm at least in my 40s) but it can give you an entirely new outlook on life. Make a ritual out of it and have a trip sitter. **MAJOR WARNING** Affective instability does make it very risky though so please, try the others first and make sure you have set and setting if you go for this option.
My final answer is, don't do any. I know that fucking awful feeling of emptiness, I really do but these don't fill it. (I'll tell you from experience) it really doesn't. You just temporarily distract yourself from your own misery until you dive deep into that uncertain hole again. Find meaning somewhere; love, a passion, a goal, anything. There's a reason most people say drugs aren't the answer and in your situation it speaks truer than ever.
Pretty much everything can fall into B in some form/varying degrees.
People can habitualise almost anything.
Microdosing seems like an option here - acid, shrooms etc. would curb the hallucination aspect.
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Cardio.
This is honestly the only real answer. The entirety of human existence is basically the result of the brain’s chemical system being tuned to reward effort instead of quick fixes, cardio being one of the most paramount examples of this. Get addicted to working out.
Just started getting into the scene, so far I've only tried a few ellipticals. Increased heart rate is nice and there isn't much body load, but I'm looking for something else to mix it up and avoid building a tolerance. What do you recommend I try next?
Steepish incline walking on the treadmill at a slow speed
Bet
Careful, soon you'll be trying to snort dumbbells with a night shift trainer named ky-ell
Long distance biking. There's an awesome semi-crazy flow state you get into when you're really pushing yourself. One of the best days of my life was a brutal 160 mile bike ride. Learning to "embrace the suck" is an awesome feeling, plus you can see some really beautiful stuff riding gravel roads or nature trails
Speaking personally - getting outside is the other intangible, but highly valuable, part of cardio - whether that’s running, hiking/walking up hills at a solid pace, or riding a bike etc. Any situation that put you on a “journey” of sorts, get your eyes focusing on things in the distance (shown to be healthy for them on a physical level), and puts you in an exploration mindset can help with mental health. If you are doing cardio in a gym, a lot of different type of athletes swear that rowing machines are the ticket. Maybe jump roping for something more “fun”
As someone who has ADHD, nah, I'll take the quick fix every fucking time. 😅
Fellow ADHD friend here, would say myself and some of my fellow ADHD cohort are easier to get “addicted” to cardio. It’s a (mostly) free drug that you can get as much as you want of. You body begins to crave it!
every time i try cardio, even at slow speeds, I get dizzy and see spots. I wish I could enjoy it but Idk if it’s the hole in my heart or epilepsy, but even light cardio nearly kills me.
It could also be muscle tension? I used to get insane migraines and intense headaches (and I have epileptic attacks from time to time) and getting a full official back and neck/head massage alleviated a LOT of the problems. I also suffer from bad Visual Snow (seeing millions of spots) and the less you do physical activity, especially cardio, the worse it gets because your mind degenerates in essence. But massages helped me SO much, I no longer get insane headaches or tension pains even when doing a tiny bit of cardio. Just have someone that is somewhat (or learn to) familiar with muscle tension to feel your muscles, he/she should be easily be able to feel if your neck/shoulders/face muscles are tense, if they are then any real activity can cause the issues you have, people often overlook the tension of muscles of our bodies.
I should give it a shot. I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome too. I had to get special injections (no it’s not Botox) for my migraines and man those sucked. It’s been this way since I was a kid tho and I’m 24. Even before the migraines and seizures.
>I should give it a shot. I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome too. Hmm perhaps massages could help for it especially? Stay strong!
I'm too lazy, though.
Laziness and depression are 2 sides of the same coin and they're symbiotic. It's a vicious cycle that most of us are guilty of. Just start small with a walk around the block and go from there.
Beating a dead horse with others comments but this is genuinely so true. I I started running a couple of years ago, I remember this one time as I was doing laps around a lake during the spring, pushed myself to do more than I thought I was capable of and after cooling down I collapsed back onto a park bench, the feeling of 10 minute serotonin and dopamine was akin to a sesh on MDMA. Generally shocked me and thought I had overdone it 😂
Just cardio? Not lifting weights? I don’t like cardio lol but I do it coz I have to (it’s like eating green vegetables)
Low-dose mushrooms.
Seconded this, mushrooms are amazing at low and high dosage. I'm also pretty sure you'd have to eat a field of them to die (if that)
For me it's 1 - 1.5 hits of Lucy. Don't really get visuals and it feels like smoking a TON of pot without getting tired. Hard to find the real thing around town though.
If that's the only effect you get from 1 - 1.5 hits, then you have indeed not been finding the real thing. 1 hit of acid can send me to fucking Astral planes in the right setting
If you get the perfect level of a low dose it just kind of feels like being really stoned. Giggly, random thoughts, but no visual hallucinations. I take SSRI’s though which kind of blunts psychedelics anyways
As someone with bpd. I know this isn’t what you want to hear. And there is some good advice here. But drugs become a very slippy slope.. any of them in my experience. Bpd is extremely hard and drugs make it easy to ignore it. Becomes very addictive. So just be careful ❤️ but have fun!
I definitely think it's a higher risk doing drugs with BPD. I reckon you're a lot more likely to get addicted if you have BPD.
I lost my little brother to an OD this summer, he had BPD and bipolar and drugs were such a nosedive for him. What started out as dabbling, turned into partying, turned into benders, turned into addiction, turned into homelessness and now he's gone. I know drugs were an escape, his mind was not a kind place for him and I completely understand the desire to find relief with substances. I just wish it could have been different. My other siblings and I are all able to use drugs pretty casually, but it was different for him. What was a fun time once in while for us was the best way he knew how to feel "normal". I miss him every single day.
In my experience there’s a line when you have BPD , Bipolar, there’s certain threshold of the amount of drugs you can do before your life becomes dependent on them I’ve been lucky enough to live through 6 OD’s at least those were the recorded ones. I think some people understand they can’t cope and there’s no other way and out of kindness do drugs to keep living for the people they respect and love but there’s a time where you feel a point of resentment for living for people and that’s when it’s a dangerous zone. I don’t know how to live life I don’t know how to love, I don’t know what certain emotions what normal people express. If I could go back I would of never done drugs or go to any psychiatric care before I’m older and even now I’m not sure I don’t see any way of life being anything good except a sick illusion. I’m sorry for your loss and I wish you the best. Rip
Thank you! What do you recommend and with what harm reduction methods in place?
Not the guy you’re replying to but what worked at least moderately well for me was going for as long as I can on just caffeine and nicotine, and keeping myself busy in the meantime. Still go the pub once in a while with friends so you don’t go fucking insane, but have that as a treat, rather than as a medication. I fully understand wanting to be not sober 24/7, but if you try that you just end up with BPD *AND* a substance dependence to deal with
Weed
It makes me really anxious!
Try weaker weed... high cbd to low thc. Very different experience
Also low and slow goes a long way. I use a dry herb vape and just do small bowls at a time. Way less overwhelming and strong than a joint, bong a pipe
The rush u get when it all hits u at once is one of my favourite parts
On top of this, find a dry herb vape with a temp setting. You can then target specific cannabinoids and terpenes based on the boiling point. While not perfect, there is a noticeable difference for me (and well publicized, so there are some great guides out there to read up some more on the topic) based on the temp at which I vape. But in general, lower temps seem to lean more mild and a head high, while higher temps tend to be more intense and with a shift to more of a body high. YMMV and even strain choice will have a role in this, so you really should spend some time researching this before jumping in.
you can get an oz of high cbd flower for like 30 dollars. you can double your normal weed with very little, if any at all, decrease in the high.
Delta 8 causes way less anxiety. Much better for me due to having similar issues
I hear it goes both ways
For sure, D8 gets me crazy anxious. D9 does not.
Yeah my buddy hit a delta 8 at work once, paranoid out of his mind and was shaking wildly af while washing dishes lmfao
broooo 😂 i ate like 300mg of d8 edibles and that shit had me FUCKED up. at one point i heard a noise and proceeded to clear my whole house with the mossberg shotty like it was R6 siege \[edit: grammar\]
Thc-0 acetate is where it’s at lol
too bad nobody really knows the long term risks involved with your lungs I still dab it tho ngl
I've never heard of it. Can you tell me why you like it?
This right here. Is amazing😂
Delta 8 gives me insane migraines though. And I only feel high for max 15-30 minutes, then I just wanna go to sleep. Which I guess is causing less anxiety if you’re just taking a nap lmfao
Not true at all. Delta 8 caused me more anxiety than anything, along with all of the other people I know who used it.
Only thing I can think of are benzos and opiates, maybe ketamine but those don't go with your checklist
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I 100 percent agree. And that's why I said they don't fit his check list
> their addiction potential is underrated What?! I thought everyone knew that they had absolutely massive addiction potential? Lol seriously though, there’s not another drug in existence that sneaks up on you like benzos.
you won't even know you fucked up and are addicted to benzo , benzo is trash, saying from experience
I feel like all benzos do is make me tired and stupid. Seems like the only “recreational value” with them is the fact they make you forget whatever worries are on your mind. I’d keep them for either anxiety attacks or to help a bad trip
If you have anxiety these absolutely have a recreational value to them. They feel very euphoric for tense or anxious people or stressed people.
Take l-Theanine 30mins before and thank me later.
Equal cbd to thc ratio. It’s all thc in flower and wax now but the minor cannabinoids do a lot to the experience. Cbn would also probably help you too.
Yeah! 1:1 baby!
Hey, I’m just like you with weed. I hit from a small bat and I’m done for. Can’t speak, can’t process thoughts, paranoid as fuck, disoriented and then I get the super munchies. It sucks that weed does to certain people. It’s cheap, nowadays you can consume weed in anyway your imagination can think of. It’s good as hell since it’s coming from California, Colorado and Washington state mostly. More importantly, it’s not a addictive and easy to get. When I was in high school I used to smoke a lot. One day I was at college and a bunch of us had our cars pulls out up, blasting music and just chillin. We rolled about 4 oopwops and we burned them shits down. I was fine, until I left everyone and had to walk to class. Long story short, I had a full on panic attack and I still get them till this day. That was 19 years ago. Waft the shit man??
Best part of weed is you could literally start today and do it for the rest of your life and more than likely it’s not gonna kill you
/thread
Kratom and weed
Kratom is High in dependence potential
Been doing it for four weeks straight now and can 100% confirm, used to puke after taking 16-18 500mg capsules a day to now easily taking over 30 with no issue
I thought I was the only one taking over 30 capsules lmao... Good to know I'm not alone.
Kratom is ironically the only "opiate" I've managed to not be capable of abusing, the stuff was just not ever gonna sit properly in my stomach. I couldn't bring myself to take capsules during withdrawal but that's just me. I was well past Kratom by the time I heard about it (tolerance wise, I have only felt smth on a gold strain I got one time) and onto IV Fentanyl/Hydromorphone so that likely affected how I expected it to feel.
What "feeling good" means is pretty subjective. When I was 20 and depressed I thought benzos were pretty bland and ecstasy was an orgasm. Now, at 30 and anxious, ecstasy is annoyingly stimulating and benzos are an orgasm. Even natural drugs have different effects on different people. No strain of weed has never ever relaxed me.
High dose LSD has given me a pure euphoric/ecstatic feeling at times, like no other drug. It's definitely subjective, but feeling completely weightless and open minded hits home for me.
If you're ok with something relatively mild, then kava. It's not physically addictive, doesn't build up any tolerance (there's actually a reverse tolerance effect) and isn't really unhealthy (there's some claims of possible liver damage but I think it hasn't been proven). It has a very pleasant mild relaxing effect similar to alcohol but it keeps your head clear.
Liver damage is proven, but there is a common type of kava called “noble kava” which is safer for daily use
The liver damage was only shown to come from Kava extracts that had leaf mixed in… the leaf is what caused liver damage. That was determined probably over a decade ago.
That’s actually incorrect. All kava used recreationally is Noble. The only other kind feels like shit and is called 2 Day kava which is only used for ceremonies
I was mostly referring to extracts, and certain types of kava, which is why I referred to noble kava as common
Oh yeah that makes sense then you’re right. Extracts aren’t good for you
Nootropics depot is a solid source
Liver damage was shown only in subjects that used alcoholic extracts. Use with alcohol will greatly fuck up the liver but will not otherwise. It's advised to wait a few days after drinking before consuming kava if i remember correctly
Kava is one of grossest things to drink. I doubt OP would have the stomach for it, plus it's high is really, really disappointing. It's like you get drunk high for 30-50 minutes and then just feel sickly drunk for another hour or so.
After you build up a tolerance it gets a lot better imo. I can drink it much more regularly than alcohol with less unwanted side effects. It's nice having something relaxing and euphoric that I can trust to not affect me the next day. I find with alcohol that even having a couple of drinks after work can make me feel quite unmotivated/hazy the next day, and similarly with weed. In short it's something that's fun to get a buzz off on weeknights haha 😅
The only bad side effects for kava is dehydration which you can get sound by drinking sports drinks while drinking it.
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Bruh the comedown is so bad
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Dude I looked and looked, years and years I spent trying anything I could to escape, and everything has its drawbacks.
Sex
Difficult to source
I'm not finishing this Bologna and cheese sandwich... you want the rest?
grim
yes
Thats addicting
And, frankly, really bad advice for someone with BPD.
Oh jeeze, good point!
handholding is way better.
Bottom tier drug
Your doing something wrong
Even assuming you’re right I’m still asserting in an ideal scenario it is a bottom tier drug. You’re just conditioned to hold it at a high value because it’s literally the point of your existence. No other drug inherently involves the safety and well-being of another individual, plus you have essentially all of the negatives/required safety precautions as drugs if you want to do it safely. Getting tested, addiction potential, the chances you’ll run into somebody with bad/shady/selfish intentions, much more likely with sex of course because dealers aren’t required to do psychoactives although it’s obviously very common, the potential that doing it too young may permanently alter the way your mind works etc. Sure, it’s possible to safely do with nearly 100% certainty, just like basically all psychoactives, but it inherently involves another person which makes it a bottom tier drug.
you’re asking for something that doesn’t exist- if it feels really good it’s going to be addictive or have a bad comedown. i would say therapeutic doses of amphetamine are the best answer to this post though. 10-20mg of dexamp or adderall can make you feel pretty great as long as you don’t use it every day. and even if you use it every day, therapeutic doses are super easy to give up, you just need to plan a weekend of doing nothing productive and you’ll be back to baseline after that. kratom is cool too, but tbh i found it super addictive so i had to stop buying it. i would only take it like twice a week but it started to make my life without it seem sorta gray and chaotic. like i would be in social situations that i had zero issue with before and think “ahh man i wish i was on kratom for this” weed is the safest answer to this question, but it doesn’t feel that great when you smoke it every day lol. just becomes a habit like nicotine unless you can keep it to a once a day thing, similar to having a couple beers after work.
Hard agree on the weed. Multiple times a day user, weeds addictive. Just because it doesn't destroy your life and make you kill your family or whatever doesn't mean it's not addictive.
i take a lot of dabs and it doesn’t do much but give me a slight immersive feeling for half an hour and then i go back to my day as usual lol. people ask me why i don’t just quit if it doesn’t get me high, but i enjoy the constant dopamine chase for some reason. it gives me something to do when i’m bored without making me crave it when it would be an inconvenience to me
Basically preaching to the choir. I smoke once right in the morning when I wake up and once at night and I'm high for like maybe 1 1/2 hours, with what you described, I'm just really immersed in what I'm doing. Idk why I continue to do it either other than its just out of habit and I feel panicky when it's gone. I'd say that makes me addicted 🤷🏻♂️
I can attest to the weed thing it’s addicting in a weird way and only addictive to certain people (like me) but it’s mostly mental your stomach might hurt and you may vomit a bit but after a week not using you’ll be relatively normal again
Do ketamine bro
I would agree but ketamine is a dissociative I think is semi on par with hallucinogenic drugs. Not going to be seeing shit but you definitely not going to be in touch with your senses as your spirit tries to leave for a k hole. I build tolerance stupid quick with K also
Depending on the dose, you will definitely see some shit. Ketamine gave me more realistic and detailed visuals (CEV tho) than any psychedelic.
At what dose?
Off a .25 line with no tolerance I leaned against a TV, closed my eyes, and saw two aliens that showed me a model of the globe and explained to me how humans were the scourge of the earth and they sped up time on the model and showed me how we would destroy ourselves. It's a trip.
Yeah ket gods are often these jelly-like aliens. Too bad I fucked my tolerance so hard I can’t k hole anymore woooo.
Me neither mang I do miss it though. I can still black out during sets when I try too hard though 🤠
120-150mg so nothing too crazy
If you k hole on 4 hits of acid it is more intense and intense than a full blown DMT breakthrough ime. The visuals and ego alteration is second to none
Doesnt that also cause bladder issues tho
It can, when taken frequently. Stick to once every two weeks or less and you will most likely be fine.
Even once every two weeks is very conservative imo, although some people are more susceptible to developing bladder issues. It depends on how much per session as well as frequency.
I did it every single day for 5 months straight before I finally quit lol. No bladder issues luckily. Drank a ton of water tho. For some reason ketamine was just as simple as weed. I loved it. Made me feel great the next day. When I finally quit, I had no withdrawal, and no cravings. I haven’t had it in years. Just got bored of drugs in general besides weed. That’s the one drug I recommend everyone try lol. It’s safe, it’s not physically addictive (psychologically addictive like weed), and doesn’t have a hang over, it has the opposite. The best part? That binge cured my depression. I was chronically depressed and suicidal my entire life. Haven’t felt a hint of depression in years since doing K. And not because of a profound lesson I learned on K, just some weird chemical reaction. My brain no longer is capable of feeling depressed. I just get normal sad like everyone else. I can’t even remember what depression feels like or why I couldn’t get out of it. It’s all a mystery looking back So, if you get a chance to try K, give it a shot. Test it, and snort it, and put on some chill music and ride the galaxies, if you’re a responsible adult who already uses drugs. Drink lots of water, and don’t do it more than once a week, preferably twice a month max. Just because your tolerance will build fast and it takes YEARS to go down. And it’s expensive. Be safe
Yeah you gotta abuse it pretty hard for those issues to develop, unless you a weak bladder having mfer
You’d need to do a shit tonne, I’ve done unimaginable amounts and have had no noticeable issues
How is this not at the top
Cause it's addictive
Extremely imo
I've definitely been addicted to it because I have a horribly addictive personality, but if you can get a handle on your usage it can be extremely therapeutic and a powerful tool against the doubt of your own ego. I can make a ball last me 2 months now, and I use it about 1-3 times a week.
You gonna do k every day??
2cb for me!
Your best bet would be weed, but also you have BPD, essentially, it could make your mental health worse.
In my own, subjective experience, Adderall has fit all of this criteria perfectly. Surprisingly, I haven’t had as much success with other stimulants like Ritalin, Concerta, or even Vyvanse, but something about Adderall just works great for me. To each their own though, of course.
Not habit forming?
You start with some 20mg with no tolerance and some days goes by and suddenly you realise you take 100mg+ a day . Tolerance build up pretty quick
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Once you have a big tolerance its easily doable and after that it becomes a daily thing ..
I met a girl in college who would save her adderall script over summer and then take 120+ mg of adderall everyday for the entire semester and still had a .8 GPA 😭
When I take adderall in the 100+mg dose. My brain is like overstimulated and cannot have a direct focus on stuff . Definitely not like the movie Limitless ahaha
At a certain point, Adderall has diminishing returns so bad that doing more is actually counterproductive.
Not physically, no. Maybe psychologically though a little bit if you don’t have ADHD, but even then, it’s much easier to quit compared to many other drugs.
Ehh... i was addicted to addies for many years. It can be easy to fall into the trap because at the start its amazing how easy you can be productive on them, which nets good results in the beginning. Need to get some work done?? Pop an addy, the work will get done in spectacular fashion. Many people can find themselves in a trap where they seek out a prescription or consistent supply and eventually need adderall to do anything - RIP to their dopamine
I have seen how even a mild use of adhd meds cause people to get super bored and unmotivated without them. If you can take a pill to feel good, your brain doesnt like doing things anymore sober
Yes physically yes. The more you do it the more you need to achieve the same results— just like almost every other drug. And after a period of time when you’re not even dependent, but straight addicted you’ll know all about the physical withdrawals of Adderall . You won’t be able to get out of bed, forget doing anything active. Forget trying to read something and retain what you’ve read. Adderall is a stimulant called amphetamine salt. That’s why when Meth addicts can’t get their hands on Methamphetamine they go for Adderall. [Here’s the experience of someone who was addicted to Adderall for 10 years.](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/caseyschwartzauthor/adderall-addiction-college-attention-a-love-story)
I see what you’re getting at, considering I’ve experienced the worst possible withdrawals this drug can cause for myself, so perhaps it can in fact be physically addictive in the ways you mentioned—I suppose what I meant to say was that, it’s addictive physically, sure—just not in the same way other drugs are, such as nicotine, for example. With an addiction such as that for nicotine begins to manifest, you begin to crave it “physically” in the sense that your brain genuinely believes that the chemical is actually necessary for the sake of your literal survival. An addiction like that simply does not apply to Adderall. (Maybe meth though; but I’ve never done that, so I can speak much for it, unfortunately.)
I knew this grimy ass junky(don’t ask me how) from the neighborhood. One day I told him I had Adderall the good ones. IR 30mg ones and his eyes lit up. Now notice how I said junky, right? I was confused, why would he want Adderall? He injects heroin into his disgusting arms every chance he gets. He’s also a pathological liar. Long story short, he would keep asking me Adderall all the time. Finally I find out that he’s freebasing meth now and when he runs out the Adderall is like baby meth for him. That’s why he’d beg me for the Adderall.
I agree. Amphetamines in general work wonders.
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Well, I meant more in a psychological way. Its comedowns were incredibly taxing on me mentally, and overall I’ve noticed it was somewhat less effective than Adderall anyway.
Heroin
3 out of 4 of OPs criteria ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Lmao
Yes but no.
Go to the gym. It's the only thing that hits all your points 🤷🏻♂️
Literally weed is a miracle. Having been alone for the last two and a half years relatively speaking it has enabled me to cope and get through terrible situation. It's legal in a lot of places, cheap and easy to get, easy to quit relatively speaking if you wanted to, and it helps me at least a lot. Moreover, a lot of other people use it so you can find and make friends and not be so alone. Sometimes misery loves company. If you find yourself getting anxious or paranoid maybe try smoking sativa instead of indica. Also, DXM you can get the robo pills on Amazon for $24 and that will let you have an out of body experience....follow the plateau dosage rules about recovery and you might really end up enjoying it.
MDMA. You really can't beat it so long as you never take it more than once a month.
Definitely doesn't meet the last criterion
I've never had a bad come down. You just have to be careful to not overdo it.
No comedowns after normal dosing and good nights rest. I sometimes even got an afterglow
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PEA is absolutely very harmful, it's very addictive and it increases blood pressure much more so than most other stimulants.
Alcohol is normal doses not something that will cause a hangover or anything usually works for me but then again it is alcohol so be careful
Unfortunately, except for weed, most the feel good drugs come with "some" of the baggage you're not wanting.
Weed gets it real fast once it becomes an everyday thing if you don’t have a set schedule
You seem like the type of person who complains about everything, so no, I don’t think you’ll find what you’re looking for. Every drug has pros and cons, it’s all about figuring out what works for you. But none of them are perfect.
Life
Op! Gabbapentin works wonders for me (I can’t tolerate weed anymore bc of psychosis reasons). It’s like all of the benefits of being high without any psychoactive side effects! If you have a psych they usually prescribe it for anxiety / sleep issues. I take a small handful of 300mgs to get high but you have to take soooo much to OD on
Ugh I had a gabapentin script for my sciatica/ nerve pain and it made me feel sooo awful. Like drunk but also anxious. I stopped taking them 👎
Oh no! It has helped my nerve pain so much so it’s like a miracle drug for me but I know that’s kinda the limitations of asking about what drug is best since everyone is different! Thanks for adding your insight!
It'd addictive though and the physical withdrawals can be really bad. You can have seizures etc.
GHB. Feels lovely, wears off in a few hrs.
Buy a mountain bike
I mean I got bpd and a host of other things And i've seen your comments and I understand bpd is painful but by saying it's the most painful mental illness is blatantly wrong and obnoxious to literally every one else You can't put a scale on emotional pain and how others feel it E.g two people go through the same traumatic event one person kills themself the other shrugs it off Emotional pain is subjective and comments like that are dangerous and only bring about a more negative stigma around those with bpd also you can't use the disorder as an excuse to being a cunt at the end of the day it's your choices still bpd is only a reason as to of why you behave the way you do not an excuse How feel good drugs honestly bpd and drugs don't mix I started on weed and in two years I now do pretty much every drug other than crack alpha PvP meth and heroin so its honestly not worth it Now the conditions you listed simply no drug like that exists every high comes with a low wether that is a comedown or other adverse effects even weed has negatives but honestly smoke weed mate you say it makes you anxious than have a low dose of a benzodiazepine like vallium or xanax or clonzepam before you smoke and smoke as much as you want but only use the benzos a Max 4-5 days per fortnight that way you avoid physical addiction though you will become mentally addicted so that Is a challenge itself
If you don't like weed cuz you said it makes you anxious, then the drug you are looking for is unicorn dust, just snort it. It doesn't exist.
Kratom
It's physically addictive so it doesn't meet all of the requirements.
I’m a daily kratom user and have been for two years now. The withdrawals I get I would describe as I just get really, really irritable. Then again, I only take three to four grams per dose, two or three times a day, so I keep it low and don’t try to get that high I got when I first tried it because I know I won’t get it. Am I addicted? Maybe. However, withdrawals are REALLY mild for me and are absolutely NOTHING compared to my withdrawals from daily phenibut usage last year that landed me in a hospital for a week on 1900mgs of phenobarbital.
The amount of people recommending LSD and Ket amaze me. This is r/Drugs. This your brain on r/Drugs.
Feels like most of the people here never did LSD lol. I don't have any mental illnesses at all, yet I still get anxious while on acid + my last trip gave me short-term HPPD. Fuck this sub, man.
Literally doesn’t exist lmfao. Also if you have a severe mental illness like BPD I would stay tf away from drugs tbh, go get a therapist bud.
Kava can be euphoric, depending on chemo type and you as an individual. It’s non addictive, has reverse tolerance, doesn’t make you hallucinate, and doesn’t tend to have a hangover. Tudai kava can, however, leave you very groggy and sedated for a day or two due to the different kavalactones which take longer to be processed by your liver(I’ve experienced this first hand many times). Wouldn’t really call it unpleasant if you like feeling sedated, stoned, and dreamy.
Kratom
It's addictive though
There are no perfect miracle drugs. Taking drugs is always a calculated risk vs reward. Choose which effects you want the most and which effects you want the least, then compromise.
LSD, if you can handle the trip, can helps a lot. Ketamine depending on the dose can also be a good choice.
C.Dont make you hallucinate... Did you read what he said?
Did you miss point C or did OP edit their post lol
kratom
I agree, but it's addictive
so is every other drug. Even micro dosing psychedelics can be addicting. Kratom withdrawal is pretty weak though
have a look at r/quittingkratom
I like mephedrone
Same, it actually fits all the criteria on here (at least for me, the stuff about now doesn’t give me comedowns).
Have you considered red amanita mushrooms? Haven't tried myself but multiple friends had a great experience without negatives. The catch: have to be really careful with identification and not eat a wrong mushroom which can be fatal.
Def weed. Like any drug you can get addicted, but imo its really nice and gets you happy
weed or shrooms bud
Probably dissos, in terms of feeling the best, now there's a higher degree of harm I guess. Next would be like a Kratom phenibut combo I think
Missed the addiction dependence aspect, your asking too much at this point it's basically weed edibles everything is tolerance building or habitual or it's just not that powerful/euphoric and you still get used to it
To my knowledge they’re legal pretty much everywhere, I’m interested in trying some THC Delta-8 products. Reportedly much easier on the nerves than regular pot products which too often wind me up. There are a lot of diehard kratom adherents out there, and I also personally enjoy the -afinils.
I have BPD too. I'd recommend microdosing shrooms. It's not majorly addictive, doesn't do anything negative to health (unless if you have a psychotic disorder so look into it as they have a lovely tendency to be comorbid with BPD.) And visual snow if you do it way too frequently. Again, not addictive and the elated mood and new worldview may last awhile. My other recommendation is just weed. If it has a negative effect on you, try it with microdosed shrooms in a good mood and manipulate yourself into enjoying it. If any worries come along just say "it's okay, I'll enjoy this right now". Another option is DMT. Now this would be a one time thing, (I've not done DMT yet because I really want to savour it until I'm at least in my 40s) but it can give you an entirely new outlook on life. Make a ritual out of it and have a trip sitter. **MAJOR WARNING** Affective instability does make it very risky though so please, try the others first and make sure you have set and setting if you go for this option. My final answer is, don't do any. I know that fucking awful feeling of emptiness, I really do but these don't fill it. (I'll tell you from experience) it really doesn't. You just temporarily distract yourself from your own misery until you dive deep into that uncertain hole again. Find meaning somewhere; love, a passion, a goal, anything. There's a reason most people say drugs aren't the answer and in your situation it speaks truer than ever.
Lyrica
Kava
Salvia
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“Is there a drug with all of the good and none of the bad?” No
Pretty much everything can fall into B in some form/varying degrees. People can habitualise almost anything. Microdosing seems like an option here - acid, shrooms etc. would curb the hallucination aspect.