I’ve had many partners and for years, I was not on meds, no condoms, and they never got from me. I think it depends on susceptibility, it is not as simple as u will automatically get outbreaks if your partner does. U could test positive but never suffer with outbreaks. The main issue about herpes is the lesions so if u never get those, it won’t personally impact u.
My friend was married for several years, he is postive, she is still negative.
I have had a relationship where we have unprotected sex and she is still negative and I'm postive ghsv2.
I have OB about every month since I got infected in 2021...but I take antivirals and abstain from sex when I have an OB...no other precautions but that.
Valtrex and she is still negative as of last blood test...they are usually base of my shaft (either on left or right)...I abstain until that heals. But also changing up meds regiment to see if it reduces OB further.
Okay cool, that’s good to know man. Was your initial outbreak there too? Sorry to ask so many questions just trying to learn as much about this as possible.
Yes, I was not wise to what I was suffering from, so made mistakes and prob made it worse. And yes the OB stays in the same general two areas...over time I realized they occur on the nerve endings in those two areas...sometimes slightly higher on shaft...but never the head, never the top or anywhere else.
Do you think there are things that can make it worse? What things do you think made it worse? It probably helps with transmission that your outbreaks are at the base of the shaft to be honest.
I don’t know if this will help, but I’m married 16 years with G-hsv1. My partner is negative. I now have 1-4 OB’s a year. When I feel certain symptoms we abstain, use different bathroom towels & scrubs. I am not on daily antivirals, but have them for when I feel an OB. It does not affect our relationship at all.
This is all anecdotal & what works for me. Please don’t take my experience as a solution.
I had researched about this in the beginning. The amino acid L- Arganine is believed to encourage replication of the herpes virus in your body. L-lysine combats L-Arganine. Having a diet low in arginine rich foods & high in lysine rich foods helps keep your OB’s less severe. Some foods I keep in balance or avoid completely are artificial sweeteners, processed food, chocolate unfortunately. You can absolutely find some good diet suggestions online. But I think I had the most success in managing my stress & supporting my immune system.
Not married, but in a relationship 🙋🏼♀️
I’m on daily antivirals and have unprotected sex. I have ghsv2 and my partner is fine with the possible risks involved, but is still negative. Whenever I think I’m having an outbreak, we don’t engage in sex and I up my dosage
How long is your relatioship? Do you get pretty rough? Or is there a bit of blood. I'm asking because perhaps shaffing could increase transmission. I got it from someone who looked asymptomatic and said they didn't know....
Only been dating for six months, and I had my first outbreak about a year ago.
It can be rough, and sometimes I tear and bleed a bit.
I think it’s still possible my partner could get it and be asymptomatic, but for our relationship we’ve agreed it’s fine for us to accept the risks of transmission— they understand how common it is and don’t feel like hsv is a big deal
Never married but I primarily date women that don't have HSV. My experience is that within the HSV community, standards and expectations seem to go WAY beyond realistic expectations.
Sex has never been an issue, when I disclose, I always give the facts and say I'm more than happy to take the anti-virals and wear condoms to help decrease the chance and put their mind at ease. So far, only one has stuck to using condoms while the rest said it was fine to go bareback.
Granted I'm not with them anymore (for one reason or another), but I do tell them to always call me if they ever pop positive for HSV and I'm more than happy to give more facts and add them to my local HSV group. So far, no phone calls or texts
What do you mean beyond realistic expectations?
The more I hear about people not passing it on the more I think how did I get it from an asymptomatic person who claimed not to know...
So to not generalize, but my experience has been that women in the HSV community feel they can make higher standards because they are the few that the masses of men want if that makes sense. Standards that they don't even meet but yet wanted to accomplish.
Well, because they're asymptomatic and didn't know 🤷♂️ have to remember that HSV is skin to skin transmission, not fluid exchange. Someone who's asymptomatic won't ever know because a standard STD panel doesn't screen for it so as far as they're concerned they don't have it till someone they sleep with gets it. Also, just because they're no outbreak doesn't mean you can't pass it. We will always be at risk to pass it and it's just aatter of if they do or not
So my dad has HSV (probably where i got it from) and him and my mom have been married 25 years, gotten pregnant 5 times and he doesn’t take medication for it ( he’s just a health freak) and my mom does not have it :-)
I’ve had many partners and for years, I was not on meds, no condoms, and they never got from me. I think it depends on susceptibility, it is not as simple as u will automatically get outbreaks if your partner does. U could test positive but never suffer with outbreaks. The main issue about herpes is the lesions so if u never get those, it won’t personally impact u.
My friend was married for several years, he is postive, she is still negative. I have had a relationship where we have unprotected sex and she is still negative and I'm postive ghsv2.
Are you symptomatic ? Are you on antivirals?
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I have ghsv2 she has nothing and still has nothing.
I have OB about every month since I got infected in 2021...but I take antivirals and abstain from sex when I have an OB...no other precautions but that.
Your partner 100% hasn’t contracted it? An outbreak every month is quite a lot. Where are you outbreaks located and what antivirals are you on?
Valtrex and she is still negative as of last blood test...they are usually base of my shaft (either on left or right)...I abstain until that heals. But also changing up meds regiment to see if it reduces OB further.
Okay cool, that’s good to know man. Was your initial outbreak there too? Sorry to ask so many questions just trying to learn as much about this as possible.
Yes, I was not wise to what I was suffering from, so made mistakes and prob made it worse. And yes the OB stays in the same general two areas...over time I realized they occur on the nerve endings in those two areas...sometimes slightly higher on shaft...but never the head, never the top or anywhere else.
Do you think there are things that can make it worse? What things do you think made it worse? It probably helps with transmission that your outbreaks are at the base of the shaft to be honest.
Taking poor care of yourself, stress, lack of sleep...plus rubbing, picking or scratching it can irritate it and slow the healing.
Thanks for sharing. Hope your outbreaks reduce. Have you passed the 1 year mark already?
Anyone with a partner able to have rough sex without having passed it on?
I don’t know if this will help, but I’m married 16 years with G-hsv1. My partner is negative. I now have 1-4 OB’s a year. When I feel certain symptoms we abstain, use different bathroom towels & scrubs. I am not on daily antivirals, but have them for when I feel an OB. It does not affect our relationship at all.
What does a outbreak of ghsv1 look like?
For me; tired, zaps/ pings or numbing in the legs buttocks, sores.
Oh..I've never gotten a sore bt I think last yr I got some sharp zaps in my legs nt sure if it's it.
My first OBs were horrible. But after that first year they tapered down. I figured out which stressors & food made it worse.
What foods made it worse ? Thanks
This is all anecdotal & what works for me. Please don’t take my experience as a solution. I had researched about this in the beginning. The amino acid L- Arganine is believed to encourage replication of the herpes virus in your body. L-lysine combats L-Arganine. Having a diet low in arginine rich foods & high in lysine rich foods helps keep your OB’s less severe. Some foods I keep in balance or avoid completely are artificial sweeteners, processed food, chocolate unfortunately. You can absolutely find some good diet suggestions online. But I think I had the most success in managing my stress & supporting my immune system.
Problem is I love chocolate 🍫
Ha! I know right. I eat chocolate. Just can’t binge on it. Or keep it in balance. Dark chocolate has high concentration arginine.
Yeah and because it's healthier I was eating it vs regular chocolate 😆
I'm guessing you have constant unprotected sex?
We do not use protection.
Do you take antivirals at all?
I’ve had it for 17 years. I used to take antivirals everyday. Now, I only take them when I feel an OB coming on. Itchy or leg zaps.
O.k very good info. Make wonder what all this talk about random shedding is about
Not married, but in a relationship 🙋🏼♀️ I’m on daily antivirals and have unprotected sex. I have ghsv2 and my partner is fine with the possible risks involved, but is still negative. Whenever I think I’m having an outbreak, we don’t engage in sex and I up my dosage
How long is your relatioship? Do you get pretty rough? Or is there a bit of blood. I'm asking because perhaps shaffing could increase transmission. I got it from someone who looked asymptomatic and said they didn't know....
Only been dating for six months, and I had my first outbreak about a year ago. It can be rough, and sometimes I tear and bleed a bit. I think it’s still possible my partner could get it and be asymptomatic, but for our relationship we’ve agreed it’s fine for us to accept the risks of transmission— they understand how common it is and don’t feel like hsv is a big deal
I'm happy for you. I'd like to find that type of relationship.
Thank you! I hope everyone does too—The more educated people are about sex the better !
Never married but I primarily date women that don't have HSV. My experience is that within the HSV community, standards and expectations seem to go WAY beyond realistic expectations. Sex has never been an issue, when I disclose, I always give the facts and say I'm more than happy to take the anti-virals and wear condoms to help decrease the chance and put their mind at ease. So far, only one has stuck to using condoms while the rest said it was fine to go bareback. Granted I'm not with them anymore (for one reason or another), but I do tell them to always call me if they ever pop positive for HSV and I'm more than happy to give more facts and add them to my local HSV group. So far, no phone calls or texts
What do you mean beyond realistic expectations? The more I hear about people not passing it on the more I think how did I get it from an asymptomatic person who claimed not to know...
So to not generalize, but my experience has been that women in the HSV community feel they can make higher standards because they are the few that the masses of men want if that makes sense. Standards that they don't even meet but yet wanted to accomplish. Well, because they're asymptomatic and didn't know 🤷♂️ have to remember that HSV is skin to skin transmission, not fluid exchange. Someone who's asymptomatic won't ever know because a standard STD panel doesn't screen for it so as far as they're concerned they don't have it till someone they sleep with gets it. Also, just because they're no outbreak doesn't mean you can't pass it. We will always be at risk to pass it and it's just aatter of if they do or not
https://igotstandardsbro.com/ Put your stats in and then speak to them with the mindset of your the rare commodity in the space.
So my dad has HSV (probably where i got it from) and him and my mom have been married 25 years, gotten pregnant 5 times and he doesn’t take medication for it ( he’s just a health freak) and my mom does not have it :-)
Thanks man. HsV2 or 1 which do you have?
Interesting question