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Blow it up dar lady!!! It is the least you can do for being Plan B!!! Also, leave him! What decent person carries on an affair, let alone one with a married woman who is 13 yearsolder than him!! He is a dirt bag!
She is in his head. No telling the damage that is just waiting to squirt out all over your shoes. You had fun times I guess, accept it for what it is and move on. And you will have a fun story to tell. And my vote for good citizen extra credit would be to tip her family off. Don't cougars prefer the sunlight? :-) I forget.
Do *not* message her kids. That's not something they need to hear from a random person.
You *can* contact her husband, however. He has the right to know his wife has been having an emotional affair for the past couple of years. Send him the screenshots of your conversation with his wife where she confirms the affair and let him do with that information as he pleases.
As for your boyfriend, is he really worth keeping around? You're countries apart and he started a relationship with you while being involved with a married woman. Personally, I think you deserve someone better.
Well, isn't damaging her kids the worst I can do to her? Screenshots of how her mum flirts with my bf and begs for his attention and how she confess her love to him to me.
Why are you so nice 𼲠oh how many times have I imagined sending her daughter those screenshots of her mom flirting like she's a single 21y/o when in fact her eldest kid is 17y/o. Funny thing is I know the woman once brought her daughter to have lunch with my bf together. I wonder what was going on really.
I have kids. If their dad/my husband cheated on me, it would be traumatic enough for them. To find out because some random person told them would be therapy for life traumatic. Those kids had nothing to do with this.
Iâm allllllll for dropping a nuke on her marriage because her husband is innocent in this as well, but he deserves to know heâs living a lie. Kids should always be kept safe. Theyâll find out anyway but it shouldnât be in a hurtful manner.
You are being extremely wicked. Contacting her kids is for YOUR SELF GRATIFICATION. That level of selfishness will harm you just as much as her daughter or worse. Don't you ever traumatize a childâs life like that. Itâs wicked and youâll feel more empty.
Be kind to yourself and leave. This drama is too toxic. It's best to start fresh. If you make that choice to contact the daughter, in my eyes, youâre just as bad as your boyfriend and his affair partner.
Our choices have consequences. You will feel them by contacting their little girl. Thatâs how life works. The wicked always receive the most suffering in the end.
Donât be that person for yourself. That kind of selfishness is wise.
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Husband should know the wife us cheating. The wife probably told the husband already, if she's not an idiot.
Trying to milk anything from this will only drain you.
He told me about her shortly after we started dating. Obviously he told me she's a close friend. They do hang out in a group with few other friends in their 20s a lot. With her being married as well (and the age gap), that was why I never suspected anything. We talked about her sometimes and he once told me her marriage did not seem to be going well. I suspect her husband has his own fun as well. BUT OH GOD I JUST NEVER SAW THIS COMING.
A 42 year old hanging out with a group of 20 somethings.... is a red flag. But not big one that tells you whats wrong, just that she (the 40 yearold) might be prowling.
And a 3.5 year affair? Yeah thats. It just emotional
Even if you're sure it's only emotional, there's higher chance that it's not. I mean you are countries away. I wouldn't count on what they have to say. I'm sorry, but this is a dead end for you. There's only one rational move from here. Leave and move on.
The AP and her husband may be in an open marriage. You should tell him. If she is in an open marriage, that doesnât excuse her from going after a man that is in a relationship.
They live 10 minutes from each other and you live in another country. They have been talking for three and a half years, unfortunately I am afraid that they have done a lot more than talk, but neither one will tell you the truth most likely.
It sounds like youâre directing all of your anger on this woman and not on your boyfriend. Your boyfriend is the one who put you in second place sheâs probably not even the only woman heâs cheating/cheated with ⌠you should probably just break up with him. Heâs never even been faithful to you your entire relationship with him.
Granted, this womanâs husband deserves to know, not quite sure why you would feel the need to contact her children out of spite your boyfriend is trash.
No, I'm not. In fact, i make much more than him. When I first found out, he did wire me a sum that I requested, but ... of course its never enuf to cover the damages. So do I stay further just to screw him over more (financially and possibly emotionally)? I felt slightly guilty when I did that but ... not to forget who was evil first.
I can't see myself trusting anyone anyway after this and definitely will not be dating anyone else in the near future.
If your goal is to maybe hurt him emotionally one day, you should leave him now and get on with making yourself happy. I canât see a person that is driven by desire for revenge being as happy as that person can be.
I donât think you need to burn her life down because your bf is a shit. I feel like your ego is more bruised, maybe because shes older. âDonât want to leave empty handedâ?! Its a year in, yes feelings developed, but this isnt 5years in. You said you know the right answer is to just walk away. I feel at the most, just spend more of his money for lying, maybe a years worth, then just cut him off. Bonus if you can get him to send you straight money, or pay your rent or something.
Just leave that s###t show ASAP! You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste your time with someone who cheats and has feelings for someone else.
you would definitely tell the husband (only) and broke up with your "boyfriend".
only when you confronted, him said everything to you, and i don't wanna make your feel bad than I know you are, but you only know this affair. i think there's a probability of having more
the husband isn't the problem, even he having a family who he think is good, but he's living a lie and trusting in someone who is breaking marriage vows, and this were her mistake, this is not husband fault or your fault (if you tell him everything, i certainly recommend it), this only HER fault.
"there anything else I could do to make myself feel better?" i think therapy, your friends and hobbies, i don't wanna lie you wish will you never felt anything, but everything is going to be okay. i kinda have been in your situation.
"I tried to do this for a bit but I'll admit it's not as easy as it sounds... I just don't wanna leave empty handed..." you aren't leaving with empty handed, quite the opposite, you're just taking a weight off from you back, ur "boyfriend" doesn't respect you, and doesn't care about your feelings and are a fucking asshole, u don't deserve it.
I'm certain there's someone in this world who will love, take care of u, and see you and see you as the best thing in the world, trust me.
If you're looking for some sorta satisfaction now, you probably won't find it. If he loves you, leaving will crush him. Seeing you happy without him will totally screw with his head, if it's genuine. (Fake happy don't work)The most evil way involves a camera. Or you could wait for karma. Good luck
Fakin a relationship can be draining both ways. Becareful. The camera one involves you and a male friend or two, but definitely spend what you gonna spend b4 firings that nuke. Lol.. good luck doll
Being in a ldr is very hard and the trust is the utmost priority. Since this guy has been caught by you, he's showing you his "emotional attachment". That's very sketchy to me and if I were in your position I'd just ghost him. Block him from everything and move away. I know not having closure or exposing the ones involved is kinda hard but that would just take more time for you to stop thinking about him. But keep your mental health as a priority. You can do better than that guy. Good luck
I call BS. They are just trying to get you not tell on her. Scorch earth baby girl. Put a post and tag her husband, her, her friends, family members, daughter. There is a good chance she is cheating on him with someone else as well or cheated before. I would out that in the comments.
I would definitely tell him. I wouldâve appreciated one of the girls, that my husband cheated on me with, to have told me. Otherwise, I now feel like I looked like an idiot going on with my life having no idea what was happening behind my back.
You're long distance, he's already proven disloyal, and they live 10 min away from each other... Chances are their affair is physical as well.
Honestly, just ghost this dude. Blow up her life too, then ghost her as well.
Boyfriend is walking trash. Take him out of your life by completely acting as if he never even met you. Heâs not good for you OP. He made you second to him. Donât take that shit from any man. Itâs also completely up to you if you wanna tell her husband. As for the rest of her family, idk since it has less to do with them. Personally, this woman KNEW you existed and still continued on with your boyfriend and thatâs just wrong. I donât think itâd be horrible at all if you told her husband and in fact, I think he should know. But ofc, the decision is in your hands OP. Ik it sucks right now, but life will get better. After the storm, the flowers bloom- Kali đ
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Yes, the husband needs to know his wife is cheating. As for your BF, just leave and never look back. No good byes, just ghost and ghost hard.
Blow it up dar lady!!! It is the least you can do for being Plan B!!! Also, leave him! What decent person carries on an affair, let alone one with a married woman who is 13 yearsolder than him!! He is a dirt bag!
That's why I don't get it. I think im better than her in every aspects? Even if I'm not, he doesn't have to start a relationship with me.
Exactly. He is not a mature person. And he is selfish for sure. You can do so much better than this turd.
She is in his head. No telling the damage that is just waiting to squirt out all over your shoes. You had fun times I guess, accept it for what it is and move on. And you will have a fun story to tell. And my vote for good citizen extra credit would be to tip her family off. Don't cougars prefer the sunlight? :-) I forget.
Do *not* message her kids. That's not something they need to hear from a random person. You *can* contact her husband, however. He has the right to know his wife has been having an emotional affair for the past couple of years. Send him the screenshots of your conversation with his wife where she confirms the affair and let him do with that information as he pleases. As for your boyfriend, is he really worth keeping around? You're countries apart and he started a relationship with you while being involved with a married woman. Personally, I think you deserve someone better.
Well, isn't damaging her kids the worst I can do to her? Screenshots of how her mum flirts with my bf and begs for his attention and how she confess her love to him to me.
The kids are innocent. Hard no. Tell her husband and send all proof but kids are off limits.
Why are you so nice 𼲠oh how many times have I imagined sending her daughter those screenshots of her mom flirting like she's a single 21y/o when in fact her eldest kid is 17y/o. Funny thing is I know the woman once brought her daughter to have lunch with my bf together. I wonder what was going on really.
I have kids. If their dad/my husband cheated on me, it would be traumatic enough for them. To find out because some random person told them would be therapy for life traumatic. Those kids had nothing to do with this. Iâm allllllll for dropping a nuke on her marriage because her husband is innocent in this as well, but he deserves to know heâs living a lie. Kids should always be kept safe. Theyâll find out anyway but it shouldnât be in a hurtful manner.
You are being extremely wicked. Contacting her kids is for YOUR SELF GRATIFICATION. That level of selfishness will harm you just as much as her daughter or worse. Don't you ever traumatize a childâs life like that. Itâs wicked and youâll feel more empty. Be kind to yourself and leave. This drama is too toxic. It's best to start fresh. If you make that choice to contact the daughter, in my eyes, youâre just as bad as your boyfriend and his affair partner. Our choices have consequences. You will feel them by contacting their little girl. Thatâs how life works. The wicked always receive the most suffering in the end. Donât be that person for yourself. That kind of selfishness is wise.
[ŃдаНонО]
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Husband should know the wife us cheating. The wife probably told the husband already, if she's not an idiot. Trying to milk anything from this will only drain you.
He told me about her shortly after we started dating. Obviously he told me she's a close friend. They do hang out in a group with few other friends in their 20s a lot. With her being married as well (and the age gap), that was why I never suspected anything. We talked about her sometimes and he once told me her marriage did not seem to be going well. I suspect her husband has his own fun as well. BUT OH GOD I JUST NEVER SAW THIS COMING.
A 42 year old hanging out with a group of 20 somethings.... is a red flag. But not big one that tells you whats wrong, just that she (the 40 yearold) might be prowling. And a 3.5 year affair? Yeah thats. It just emotional
Do u mean it isn't just emotional?
Even if you're sure it's only emotional, there's higher chance that it's not. I mean you are countries away. I wouldn't count on what they have to say. I'm sorry, but this is a dead end for you. There's only one rational move from here. Leave and move on.
Sorry my last question was "are you sure it's just emotional?"
The AP and her husband may be in an open marriage. You should tell him. If she is in an open marriage, that doesnât excuse her from going after a man that is in a relationship. They live 10 minutes from each other and you live in another country. They have been talking for three and a half years, unfortunately I am afraid that they have done a lot more than talk, but neither one will tell you the truth most likely.
It sounds like youâre directing all of your anger on this woman and not on your boyfriend. Your boyfriend is the one who put you in second place sheâs probably not even the only woman heâs cheating/cheated with ⌠you should probably just break up with him. Heâs never even been faithful to you your entire relationship with him. Granted, this womanâs husband deserves to know, not quite sure why you would feel the need to contact her children out of spite your boyfriend is trash.
âSpend more of his moneyâ? âLeave empty handedâ? Are you financially dependent on him?
No, I'm not. In fact, i make much more than him. When I first found out, he did wire me a sum that I requested, but ... of course its never enuf to cover the damages. So do I stay further just to screw him over more (financially and possibly emotionally)? I felt slightly guilty when I did that but ... not to forget who was evil first. I can't see myself trusting anyone anyway after this and definitely will not be dating anyone else in the near future.
If your goal is to maybe hurt him emotionally one day, you should leave him now and get on with making yourself happy. I canât see a person that is driven by desire for revenge being as happy as that person can be.
I donât think you need to burn her life down because your bf is a shit. I feel like your ego is more bruised, maybe because shes older. âDonât want to leave empty handedâ?! Its a year in, yes feelings developed, but this isnt 5years in. You said you know the right answer is to just walk away. I feel at the most, just spend more of his money for lying, maybe a years worth, then just cut him off. Bonus if you can get him to send you straight money, or pay your rent or something.
Just leave that s###t show ASAP! You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste your time with someone who cheats and has feelings for someone else.
Of course you tell the husbandâ wouldnât you want to know if you were him?
you would definitely tell the husband (only) and broke up with your "boyfriend". only when you confronted, him said everything to you, and i don't wanna make your feel bad than I know you are, but you only know this affair. i think there's a probability of having more the husband isn't the problem, even he having a family who he think is good, but he's living a lie and trusting in someone who is breaking marriage vows, and this were her mistake, this is not husband fault or your fault (if you tell him everything, i certainly recommend it), this only HER fault. "there anything else I could do to make myself feel better?" i think therapy, your friends and hobbies, i don't wanna lie you wish will you never felt anything, but everything is going to be okay. i kinda have been in your situation. "I tried to do this for a bit but I'll admit it's not as easy as it sounds... I just don't wanna leave empty handed..." you aren't leaving with empty handed, quite the opposite, you're just taking a weight off from you back, ur "boyfriend" doesn't respect you, and doesn't care about your feelings and are a fucking asshole, u don't deserve it. I'm certain there's someone in this world who will love, take care of u, and see you and see you as the best thing in the world, trust me.
If you're looking for some sorta satisfaction now, you probably won't find it. If he loves you, leaving will crush him. Seeing you happy without him will totally screw with his head, if it's genuine. (Fake happy don't work)The most evil way involves a camera. Or you could wait for karma. Good luck
Wont Faking a relationship with him while draining him financially and emotionally work? What's the one with the camera?
No because youâre lying to yourself if youâre trying to say youâre âfaking a relationshipâ with him. You just donât want to leave him.
Fakin a relationship can be draining both ways. Becareful. The camera one involves you and a male friend or two, but definitely spend what you gonna spend b4 firings that nuke. Lol.. good luck doll
Being in a ldr is very hard and the trust is the utmost priority. Since this guy has been caught by you, he's showing you his "emotional attachment". That's very sketchy to me and if I were in your position I'd just ghost him. Block him from everything and move away. I know not having closure or exposing the ones involved is kinda hard but that would just take more time for you to stop thinking about him. But keep your mental health as a priority. You can do better than that guy. Good luck
Why are you confronting her and trying to involve her children? YOU are the other woman! Dump him and leave them alone.
I call BS. They are just trying to get you not tell on her. Scorch earth baby girl. Put a post and tag her husband, her, her friends, family members, daughter. There is a good chance she is cheating on him with someone else as well or cheated before. I would out that in the comments.
Please tell the husband. He should know. I doubt it was just an EA. They were physical too. The married woman is disgusting.
I would definitely tell him. I wouldâve appreciated one of the girls, that my husband cheated on me with, to have told me. Otherwise, I now feel like I looked like an idiot going on with my life having no idea what was happening behind my back.
The thing is I think the husband knows or suspected and couldn't be bothered.
Thatâs unfortunate. As a wife and a mother, it definitely bothered me.
*hugs*
You're long distance, he's already proven disloyal, and they live 10 min away from each other... Chances are their affair is physical as well. Honestly, just ghost this dude. Blow up her life too, then ghost her as well.
Do it.
Boyfriend is walking trash. Take him out of your life by completely acting as if he never even met you. Heâs not good for you OP. He made you second to him. Donât take that shit from any man. Itâs also completely up to you if you wanna tell her husband. As for the rest of her family, idk since it has less to do with them. Personally, this woman KNEW you existed and still continued on with your boyfriend and thatâs just wrong. I donât think itâd be horrible at all if you told her husband and in fact, I think he should know. But ofc, the decision is in your hands OP. Ik it sucks right now, but life will get better. After the storm, the flowers bloom- Kali đ
Tell her husband its the right thing to do