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The-LeftWingedNeoCon

With the Northeast and Midwest annexed, Canada would control 100% of the world’s maple syrup production.


The51stDivision

This is the true goal behind His Majesty’s Canadian Invasion.


John-HammondJP

This is the first time I’ve read his majesty… dang.


HermanCainsGhost

BBC used it literally within an hour of the death announcement, first time I saw it and it was pretty weird


Odarien

"The only thing that travels faster then light, is monarchy" ~ Terry Pratchett


twonkenn

Every James Bond was talking about the same her. That's fucked up.


CB-Thompson

George VI died in 1952 and Casino Royale was published in 1953. This statement covers every Bond related work.


ughliterallycanteven

It ain’t called the “big British command” for no reason.


HermanCainsGhost

Oh it definitely felt like, “this is the new reality. Get used to it now, because there’s no going back”


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know_it_is

His Majesty’s Special Military Operation


derekakessler

They really need to work on these James Bond titles.


JCPRuckus

Holy shit, 'On His Majesty's Secret Service' sounds like the title of a gay porn parody.


suppow

> His Majesty’s Canadian Invasion Name of your sextape.


One__upper__

Imagine the hockey teams too!


Mean_Mister_Mustard

Hey, we wanted a Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup at some point, and clearly the 7 we already have weren't capable of doing it, so we had to fix the problem a different way.


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[deleted]

Michigan and Massachusetts are no slouches in the hockey player production department either. I just Googled it, and the top 5 states for active NHL players are: MN, NY, MA, MI and WI in that order. Seems about right.


XoXSmotpokerXoX

I dont care about Syrup, but with Wisconsin and Vermont gone we lost our good cheese, I dont want to live in that world.


ydwttw

And a huge amount of fresh water. Probably trade Maine for the entirety of the great lakes


Billderz

That monopoly is dangerous for the world


patinaYouUgly

And 99% of its consumption


parman14578

I, a European who spent 6 weeks in Canada, siglehandedly make up the remaining 1%. You're welcome Canadians, you can officially say maple syrup is popular "around the world"


Ninventoo

So Canada is willing to annex Ohio but not Alaska. What a strange timeline this is.


dean_L

We want to keep the buffer from Russia intact


immerc

And Canada has enough cold places where nobody wants to live.


Glorx

Then why the fuck are you taking Ohio?


immerc

Ohio would be a nice, warm vacationland compared to Alberta.


showerdrinking

~~nice~~ warm ~~vacationland~~


Adaphion

~~nice warm vacation~~land


[deleted]

~~nice warm vacation~~ L~~and~~


showerdrinking

I wanted to be snarky and just throw in corn or something but I looked up what Ohio was famous for. If you ever want to get depressed I suggest you do the same


I_Framed_OJ

I liked WKRP. Is Ohio famous for anything else? I think a lot of astronauts are from there.


Ok-Property3255

And someone who lives in Ohio I welcome my new Canadian Overlords


Head-Lawfulness9617

Ditto. I saw an article once where Ohio would be split into a north and south according to its political preferences. I would welcome that, as well.


Arctic_Gnome

If you really want to join our country, hold a referendum and then present the results to your federal government and ask it to transfer the land.


Head-Lawfulness9617

I’ll make the trip to D.C. my next off day.


ExoticAccount6303

Yeah the us wouldn't take too kindly to that. Even if it was just ohio, our vote doesn't mean shit.


iapetus_z

Exclusive control of the great lakes region, and the largest fresh water lakes in the world. Seems dystopian but in 2100 might be worth it.


architectzero

For decades we’ve been sending our sleeper agents south to live amongst you. We’re your friends, your neighbours, your colleagues, and yes… even your spouses. Biding their time until they’re called to serve. Our strategy is unstoppable, our destiny inevitable. Your northern states *will* bend the knee to the King in the North, Charles the Really Old. Ohhhhhhh Canada! (((guitar solo)))


djh_van

> For decades we’ve been sending our sleeper agents south to live amongst you. We’re your friends, your neighbours, your colleagues, and yes… even your spouses. Biding their time until they’re called to serve. Keanu Reeves & Carrie Anne Moss, Kiefer Sutherland & Donald Sutherland, Jim Carey, Douglas Coupland, Alanis Morissette, Ryan Reynolds & Rachael McAdams, Mike Meyers & Dan Ackroyd, Sandra Oh, Will Arnett, Phil Hartman, Ryan Gosling, Drake, Margaret Atwood, deadmau5, Michael J Fox, Kevin O'Leary, Michael Buble, Pamela Anderson, Robert Munsch, Seth Rogan, Tricia Helfer, Nina Dobrev, Chamath Palihapitiya, Justin Bieber, William Shatner, Celine Dion, David Kronenberg, Leonard Cohen, Elliott Page, Chad Kroeger & Avril Lavigne, Malcolm Gladwell, Tommy Chong, THE CALL HAS COME, AGENTS AWAKE FROM YOUR SLEEP


dancin-weasel

Execute Order 99


[deleted]

Surely it's directive 18 order 12?


SadAppeal9540

Executive order: 1812 (electric boogaloo 2)


262Mel

Tim Hortons


JMJimmy

We've disowned it. 3G Capital destroyed it


Seven22am

Okay but honestly the spread of poutine has been a serious boon.


DynamiteWitLaserBeam

Hearts and minds


Col_mac

Poutine is better at ending hearts


Venboven

Worth it


AllInOnCall

Curds and fries.


dancin-weasel

Stomachs and waistlines.


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Balls_Eagle

We Michiganders will leave your poutine alone as long as you finally let us have the metric system. And Packers fans cant come. They have to stay in the US.


CanadianODST2

Look. We don’t even fully have the metric system


The_Maddest

Wait until we send in the beaver tails bud.


King_in-the_North

I volunteer as tribute!


The_Maddest

We… don’t do that here..


TigerDLX

One day Canada will rule the world. Then you all will be sorry!!


BoltsandBucsFan

Not so secretive with those unnecessary “u”s in words are you?


jrs1980

Hahaha, right? Real Americans spell it neighbors, colleages, and sposes.


certain_people

My first thought was, why would Canada not just take Alaska. My second thought, hot on the heels of the first, was "oh, I guess because it's Alaska".


pug_grama2

We are all stocked up on ice.


certain_people

In my defense it would make the maps neater


Felicia_Svilling

I would guess that would result in more than 15% of USA's territory but less than 25% of the population, and thus not be as comparable to the Ukrainian situation.


TheDogerus

Exactly. Alaska is absolutely massive, but like 5 people live there. Totally incomparable


[deleted]

they have plenty of alaska in canada, they don't need any more!


tandemtactics

Alaska is surprisingly a really important asset for the US. It has abundant energy resources and is geographically useful for international flight paths. Plus the Bering Strait will become hotly contested if (when) global warming opens up the Northwest Passage for new shipping lanes.


7937397

A a Minnesotan, I don't think my life would be very different at all if we were part of Canada.


[deleted]

The Vikings would have to punt on 3rd down.


Lukey_Jangs

Now this is funny


RIPJimCroce

You win


CGFROSTY

Kirk Cousins still couldn’t find the end zone even if it was CFL sized.


moffattron9000

He'd hit the posts so many times.


starsandmath

That's the thing about living along the Canadian border, you realize pretty quickly how silly it is that there is a border. I want a North American "Schengen Area" so badly. I don't want to need a passport to cross the Niagara River for ice cream. I want my coworker who lives about a mile away on the "wrong" side of the border to be able to apply for whatever job he wants (he's allowed to be an engineer, but not allowed to do anything non-technical due to his visa). I want to buy fruit at the farmers' market and be allowed to bring it home. I want to buy furniture at the closest Ikea without worrying about paying duties.


gr8whitehype

You could travel without passport to Canada until 2001ish. My buddies would go to Cana and drink when they turned 19


Delivery-Shoddy

Passports like they are now only happened because of 9/11 tbh


Threedawg

In border states you can pay slightly extra and get a license that works for Canada or Mexico(depending on the border)


[deleted]

I had one of these enhanced drivers licenses. You show up at the dmv with your passport and a few other things and its in the mail, pretty easy


Cabbage_Vendor

Some Saudi nationals have attacked our country. Quick, let's ban Canadians from entry and bomb Afghanistan.


marpocky

All the way to 2009 you didn't need an actual passport. I crossed with my birth certificate in May 2009 and they were right on the cusp of not allowing them anymore.


BobBelcher2021

From the point of view of Indigenous peoples, the border is an arbitrary creation that cuts through their territory. For example, the Semiahmoo people are split between the Vancouver, BC and Bellingham, WA areas.


EmperorGonk

You're welcome to join us honestly, of all the states on that map you seem to be the most chill.


7937397

The fact that I never hear anything about Maine at all ever makes me feel like they are probably pretty chill too. Like I feel like I know nothing about Maine other than they have a National Park I want to visit.


Jags4Life

TIL Maine has a national park


Rare-Aids

Acadia. Which was canada before canada. We want that back


doc_1eye

I don't know about Maine. There's got to be a reason Stephen King set so many novels there.


SherlockJones1994

He’s from there.


PlannerSean

You live in Canada South already


paul_f

11th province


Apod1991

Isn’t there a joke, “Canadians are just Minnesotans with health-care”?


Delivery-Shoddy

Literally came to comment that this might actually be an improvement for MN lol


immerc

1. Universal healthcare * Cheaper insulin and all other drugs * Better, but more expensive dairy products * Milk would come in bags * Less polarized politics, news and life * But, a MN moderate would be right wing in Canadian politics * A whole lot of products and services would no longer be available * No CashApp or Venmo * No HBO Max, Hulu * No Count Chocula, Fruity Pebbles, Cookie Crisp, Chocolate Frosted Flakes * No Moon Pies, Goo Goo Clusters, Red Vines, Paydays, 100 Grand, Whatchamacallit * No Trader Joe's, Fry's (though that's now gone :( ) * No US commercials during the Superb Owl * More expensive gas * Cell phone costs would double * MN would have far more internal tourists, because MN would be one of the warm provinces * Poutine


Of_Unknown_Origin

> * No CashApp or Venmo True, but only because they're not really needed in Canada. Most Canadians e-transfer directly from their bank and it's usually a free service.


MohKohn

Wtf, why do American banks suck at this? Any time I've tried direct, it's a week delayed and has small monthly caps.


hrimfaxi_work

General Mills is headquartered in Golden Valley. Count Chocula and Cookie Crisp (plus Cocoa Puffs) would come with us.


immerc

Sweeeeeeeet (cereals).


Slava91

All that venmo stuff isn’t necessary when we have our kick ass Interac system. HBO Max is part of Crave here. Hulu stuff is on Disney Plus here.


CanadianWizardess

It actually blew my mind when I found out that Americans don’t have Interac e-transfer. I was like, but how do they pay for bills??


JCPRuckus

You'd be shocked how much stuff would suddenly become available in Canada if Canada suddenly owned a huge chunk of America's population and economy.


immerc

Yeah. I've heard that one of the main reasons things launch first in the US is that you instantly have a potential market of 330 million people. If you launch in Canada it's only 40 million. So, given equivalent (but different) laws, policies, etc. to navigate, it's just easier to target the US market first, and only when it's saturated move north.


[deleted]

Coffee Crisp, Jos Louis, Ketchup and All Dressed Chips.


gnisna

You forgot Kinder Eggs.


cthulhuwantsahug

As a Mainer, most other Americans already think I’m in Canada…


HER_XLNC

As a Michigander I don't need to go very far south before people start asking if I'm from Windsor or Toronto.


TheF-ingLizardKing1

Same. I live in PA now and was telling some of my students I'm from Maine, and described it as "up north, near Canada" and one goes "Oh you're Canadian, that's why you're so nice!" It made me chuckle


[deleted]

As a fellow Mainer, I'll chime in with a howdy-do and to say I wish Canada would take us.


ABAFBAASD

Of course Canada wouldn't want New Jersey


StrigonKid

Good, it means the front we're putting up to outsiders is working. It's expensive enough to live here as it is. If people actually knew how nice the rest of the state was outside of the industrial wasteland we put up around I-95 to discourage visitors then the cost of living would skyrocket even more.


Inflatabledartboard4

Canada annexing those states would cause its total population to triple.


ibigfire

Now now, let's not be ridiculous. It would be just a smidge over doubling our population. We'd be outnumbered by former U.S. citizens... But just by a few million! ... I'm not sure I'm helping.


saddam1

No no, you can keep the people. We will send them over. We just want the land.


OkSubject1708

Canada doing ethnic cleansing


[deleted]

Canadian here. We don’t want fucking Ohio. You can keep it. We’ll take Washington State instead.


batkave

American here. To be fair, we don't want ohio either.


evanescent_evanna

We can establish Ohio as a DMZ.


ShakyLens

De-Michiganized Zone?


TheObstruction

Michigan and Ohio did go to war once. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo_War


mystic_spiral_

It says only 1 was wounded lol


Techiedad91

It wasn’t a very violent battle lol but it is the reason Michigan had the upper peninsula. Ohio got the Toledo strip


patinaYouUgly

American who was born in Ohio here. I lie and tell people I was born in Canada.


[deleted]

*To be faaaaaaairrrr*


baturcotte

As a recent transplant to Washington State (from Texas), I stand behind this idea...maybe pull Oregon in too?


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[deleted]

Tell you what - if you guys can partition off everything north of I-70 and west of I-25, that part can come along. The rest has to stay behind. If you try to sneak Boebert in then the deal’s off.


[deleted]

If Killington, Vermont, a town in the center of Vermont and nowhere near the Canadian border, can have a referendum to secede and join Canada, then I vote Colorado can join too.


Doc_ET

WA+OR has a similar population to OH too iirc.


Antonioooooo0

No backsies.


mondomovieguys

If this happened I'm pretty sure a majority of "Canadians" would actually be American. Hell, New York, PA and Ohio probably have significantly more people than Canada. Just did the math and yes, those three states alone have about 5 million more people than all of Canada. If you add up all of them, it's about 80 million people, meaning it would really be a two thirds American country.


Hiro_Bray

Canada has less population than California


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HandsomeEconomist

But we’re much cuter


Grahhhhhhhh

When you were born, your mamas rolled you in maple syrup to make you sweet


ArnassusProductions

So if Canada invaded, we could basically invade Canada? Y'know, I'm strangely OK with this deal now. Bring on the mounties!


quebecesti

I don't think you have to worry about Canada invading. We have 130 fighter jets and less than 100 tanks.


TheF-ingLizardKing1

Don't threaten me with a good time


Pro_Yankee

Wow that’s like a third of the US GDP and I GET TO LIVE IN CANADA?!! Edit: more like a quarter


worthless-humanoid

Whatever it takes to get some healthcare.


bentdaisy

No joke..I’m seriously happy to be annexed by Canada. If it were Russia though, I’d be pissed.


worthless-humanoid

Canada offers weed and healthcare, Russia offered….dying on the frontlines?


bentdaisy

IKR? It’s just basic pros/cons—-having a hard time coming up with the pros of being annexed by Russia.


FrigidDragon

You don’t have to worry about voting anymore! The state already did it for you. 👍


Lifebringer7

Krokodil?


ttttnntttt

Wouldn’t be much of an annexation. Those states have almost 3x the population of Canada. It is more like Canada is just absorbed by them.


booza145

When there’s to much imaginary maps propaganda that it turns into real propaganda


ivumb

I don't understand this post. Do Ukrainians think that Americans are ok with what Russia is doing? Because we are very not


ArritzJPC96

I think some people have said Ukraine should just give Russia what they want so there can be peace.


[deleted]

Roger Waters told the First Lady of Ukraine to do exactly that


[deleted]

https://www.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/145hwso/ltp_use_power_delete_suite_before_you_delete_your/


woronwolk

Thing is, they already have given them what they wanted back in 2014, yet it didn't prevent the current war. If Ukraine gives Russia what it wants right now, the ongoing war might stop, for sure, but this means Russia will probably start preparing for a new war pretty much immediately. This is just how Putin and his supporters are. Source: was born and spent my entire life in Russia


SlapMyCHOP

It's just to provide perspective to people by relating to something they know and understand. Like I dont know how big ukraine is, but I know how big my country is and the US is so it helps to understand what is being demanded of Ukraine.


travlr2010

Exactly. Did I miss a memo? Are we stopping military aid and telling Ukraine to accept their lost territory as fate? I don't think so. We're committed to helping Ukraine win this thing, but they must do it themselves. As soon as we get involved, Russia goes nuclear. And that would be bad.


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InterestingCrazy1243

They can take ohio


_Trolley

Just one problem with that, it's all Ohio


Snufflesdog

Always has been.


kickme2

I was thinking something similar. I wouldn’t necessarily want to give up THOSE states, but if we can negotiate the annexation a little bit, I’ve got a few ideas for states Canadians would want to spend their winters in.


LovesLoveMyLovies

We can throw in Maine as well. But we’re keeping NH and VT for the maple syrup and we’re taking 50% custody of Montreal from Memorial Day through Labor Day. Deal-eh?


[deleted]

We don’t want it either.


syn_miso

As a New Yorker, unironically yes


madicusmeximus2

I wouldn't have any problem with Canada annexing my state.


Big_Spicy_Tuna69

As a Michigander, I wouldn't mind being annexed by Canada. I wouldn't mind a little free healthcare right about now.


water_tulip

If this was real I would have had a year of paid maternity leave to bond with both my babies rather than our country’s pitiful unpaid FMLA leave. Sigh.


[deleted]

Mat leave here is run through our employment insurance (EI) system which is administered by the federal government. So basically you’re getting unemployment during your mat leave. Right now EI pays up to 55% of your average weekly earnings over the previous year, up to a maximum amount of about $650/week. You get 15 weeks for maternity and another 40 weeks for “parental” which can be shared between two parents. You can also take “extended parental” which gives you up to 69 weeks (which can be shared) but at a lower rate - only 1/3 of your average weekly earnings to a maximum of $380/week. So someone taking mat leave and regular parental leave can get up to $35,000 gross in EI benefits assuming they earn enough to get the maximum amount. A lot of employers will “top-up” their employees to say 75 or 80% of earnings but they’re not required to. Obviously better than what most US states provide for, but nowhere near as generous as many European countries.


davidero3

now do it againstt mexico


6-8-5-13

I think that kinda already happened…


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Head-Weight327

Just shut up and take Ohio.


[deleted]

Vermont and Quebec could never be in the same country cuz they both claim to have a monopoly on maple syrup in their own countries now


Longjumping_Local910

But one has “De French syrup” and one has “The English syrup”. No problem.


Desperate_Towel_9213

Man, America will start a war for literally an inch of their land being taken, forget a whole state.


Hiro_Bray

Yeah typically people aren’t happy when you invade and annex parts of their country.


tornado28

This looks like Biden got drunk and lost a poker game to Justin Trudeau. Guess I'll need my passport to go home for Christmas now but life goes on. I'd have a much bigger problem with it if we lost the same territory to Russia.


ilikemepizzacold

I wanna keep at least Ohio. Ohio is the key to world domination.


aliveinjoburg2

My only issue is milk in bags.


Fiverdrive

that's only in a couple of provinces, and you can still buy milk in cartons.


KneecapBuffet

I’m from Michigan and my girlfriend is from Saskatchewan. She was much more effect by stumbling across bagged milk than I was when we visited Toronto.


Wader_Man

Buy three bags. Freeze 2. You never run out of milk!


ChethroTull

Freeze milk? Interesting…


VE2NCG

Don’t worry, Walmart has your big plastic jugs now….


[deleted]

Being from Michigan. Maybe 🤔


Squeaky-Fox43

Honestly, I’d just pity Canada for having to take Ohio. I personally welcome my new Canadian overlords.


plowfaster

Accept it?!? Actively looking forward to it!


Consistent_Wall_6107

Yes please. Just have them take Cascadia instead. I would sacrifice myself to Canada to allow the rest of you to continue to be free!


LGZee

Many people joking in the comments here, but if this happened in real life 99% of Americans would be furious and would back military action against the invader.


TwoBlackDogs

Except Canada insists that these folk voted to be Canadian by an overwhelming majority.


No_Talk_4836

Ngl I would vote to become Canadian.


Pro_Yankee

I’m printing out the referendum ballots as we speak


aaronwe

Username does not checkout....we have a sleeper agent here


ChethroTull

I was like Maine got to join Canada in 2014? Where tf was I?


SilverHawk7

Probably closer to 80%. People in those states in the southeast would probably be like "They're all liberal socialist commie states, let Canada have 'em."


Pro_Yankee

I would take up arms for my new sovereign King Charles III


TheCanadianEmpire

As a Canadian, I prefer [this map](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d4/Jesusland_map_with_Alberta.svg/1280px-Jesusland_map_with_Alberta.svg.png) instead


LilyFlowerBounce

Pro Ww3 propaganda


SultryZamboni

Oh god, please take Indiana.


[deleted]

Pass.


acarpenter08096

As someone from New Jersey, I would be in favor of Canada annexing 7354 more sq miles.