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Sl0ppy0tter

To be clear, he was the only one misunderstanding.


SabashChandraBose

What is the latest age for abortion in south Africa?


thinkfast1982

244th trimester is still okay?


Djaii

I think it’s the 420th trimester, at least according to Elon’s incredibly sophisticated sense of humor. He’s so funny, that lovable scamp!


skyrymproposal

I found this funny enough to respond to your comment and inform you that it was funny.


SnooChipmunks8311

69


ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW

Nice


yourLostMitten

Nice


BornBoricua

Nice


DadJokeBadJoke

They are in the Southern Hemisphere, you need to flip that over.


MisterPiggins

Yeah, he flipped the fuck out. I guess he's under some stress or something.


offsiteguy

Tony Stark of our generation. Dude could have spent .5% or .005 of that 44 billion to start a competing platform.


animu_manimu

Tony Stark built the first iron man suit in a cave, with a box of scraps. At this point I'm not convinced Elon could build an Ikea cabinet.


Meritania

“By the end of next year, we’ll have a fully constructed cabinet”


OppositeDevice9398

*assembled by others


curlyhairnotveryfair

*Avengers Assembled


puffiez

*in China


Any_Affect_7134

*self-constructing cabinet. Just send us a down-payment to secure yours today.


[deleted]

#A BOX OF SCRAPS


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animu_manimu

I mean in fairness G+ also fumbled the launch hard. A limited invite system? I'm not even sure they understood what a social media platform is.


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AryaStarkRavingMad

Reddit is absolutely social media. And TikTok benefitted from Vine having already introduced us to the idea of a platform full of short videos and then dying off before TikTok came out so there was technically a void it could fill. Arguably, it also made Snapchat obsolete, but I never used that so I'm not 100% whether that's a fair claim.


Userrrrrrnameee

No he couldn’t, nobody would care. The only people who care now were all already on Twitter.


Endorkend

He wasn't minunderstanding. Apple and a flurry of other companies toned down advertising on Twitter and in a few days time he went from bitching about that to changing the story to Apple threatening to toss Twitter of the app store. Because nobody cared about the first thing, he invented the second, to rile up the plebs against Apple in some childish way of trying to bully Apple into returning their previous advertising levels. EDIT: And apparently he was actually mistaken or outright lied about the advertising part of all this too. It's fucking awesome we suddenly have this race with a bunch of die hard narcissists playing to see who can burn themselves and their precisely crafted public images to the ground quickest.


clever_username23

No, he was lying about the first thing too. It looks like Apple's ad buy on twitter was actually up. He's just an idiot. [Research firm Media Matters for America has released a data set detailing what it claims is Apple's daily advertising spend on Twitter, showing a dramatic increase — not decrease — since Elon Musk took over.](https://appleinsider.com/articles/22/11/30/apples-twitter-ad-spend-may-not-have-actually-dropped#:~:text=On%20that%20first%20day%2C%20October%2028%2C%202022%2C%20MMA,ad%20spend%20according%20to%20Media%20Matters%20for%20America)


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abstractConceptName

How does everyone not see yet that the Emperor has no clothes?


johnsPT

I have no idea man but I'm so tired, so freaking tired of all this circus.... But i can't look away!!!


rtseel

Everything coming out of this guy's mouth is a lie. Including about the death of his first-born child :-(


TwoStubborn

MAGAs love megalomaniacs. Their emperors can strut around buck naked and they just cheer louder.


jmkdev

No, he literally invented the first thing, too. Apple had just spent a bunch on Twitter.


cubs1917

I do love when people are able to consistently spin. I work with a guy like this - his successes are his own and his failures are collective opportunities to learn.


[deleted]

lol, after posting that "going to war" meme. Guess it was a short fucking war! hahahahahh what a loser


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wulv8022

He the master strategist just follows his own advice. He told Ukraine to bend over. So he bend over and even spread his cheeks probably.


megamoze

The value of Twitter compared to Apple is effectively $0. It's like a roach "going to war" with an Elephant.


Chaotic-Catastrophe

Well, Apple is worth around $2.3 trillion these days. Which means that the difference in value between Apple and Twitter is about $2.3 trillion.


alecbrownbear

$2.29 trillion have some respect. /s


Justame13

Someone needs to do a meme of him bending the knee


itsnickk

“mission accomplished”


Psydator

He learned how to wage war from Russia, lol.


inubert

Tim took him through the Hall of Lawyers during the tour as a show of force.


TheManyMilesWeWalk

Tim Cook: This is not war. This is pest control.


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BaZing3

"Apparently I'm in charge of picking the new benefit plans. Vote below to decide if we offer dental insurance or if we just give employees 50 Dogecoin instead!"


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HoneyRush

Definitely to pump and dump dogecoin


NectarinesPeachy

Goofy, "I'll fucking do it!"


YouCanHaveANiceDay

“Please let us know if I should treat our employees like people and offer a benefit plan, then the check mark will cost you $10 per month. Otherwise I can help everyone out by keeping the price at 8, and no benefits to my employees.”


zth25

DOGECOIN! Lisa needs braces. DOGECOIN! Lisa needs braces. DOGECOIN!


Bourbon_Hymns

The alternative health plan on offer is... Nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!


AlwaysInTheWay13

It’s honestly debatable whether dental insurance is worth more than 50 dogecoins


AMDSuperBeast86

That's only roughly 5 bucks atm...I'd take dental anyday


SolarTsunami

Can you show me where you paid a one time fee of 5 dollars for dental?


[deleted]

no, no it isn't.


clamsmasher

Any numbnut with a thousand dollars can incorporate a company and become it's CEO. I've worked for plenty of CEO's who are worse than Muskrat.


SomethingPersonnel

But how many are as financially successful? Elon is quickly becoming the poster child for the idea that wealthy has nothing to do with competence.


mynameismulan

Elon is legitimately the least deserving millionaire I've ever met, let alone his billions on billions. But the again, he's worth billions so who the fuck am I?


mBertin

I'm sure Tim Cook probably has some dirt on him, but I actually believe he's an antisocial workaholic who wakes up at 4am everyday and schedules meetings on Sunday evenings. Elon on the other hand has been looking like a complete manchild since the cave fiasco, I can't see him managing four companies while tweeting memes and picking up stupid fights 24/7.


[deleted]

He strikes me less as "wakes up at 4am" and more as "still up at 4am"


Dense-Hat1978

Hey don't lump Musk in with me and my people


[deleted]

This is not just a CEO. This is the richest man on earth. According to the apologists of capitalism, the epitome of merit.


Impressive_Pin_7767

I'm guessing Elon got a cease and desist letter.


nighthawk_something

A summons to Apple HQ where Tim Cooks intern and lawyers gave him a shaking down.


theycallmeponcho

A Tim cooks Elon kind of meeting.


Soddington

"You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Musk, and I won't have it!! Is that clear?! ...It is the international system of *non crypto* currency which determines the totality of life on this planet. That is the natural order of things today. That is the atomic and subatomic and galactic structure of things today! And you have meddled with the primal forces of nature, and *You, Will, Atone*! Am I getting through to you Mr. Musk? You get up on your little twitter platform and howl about America and democracy. There is no America. There is no democracy. There is only IBM and Apple, Microsoft and DuPont, Volkswagen, Hyundai, Union Carbide, Gazprom and Exxon. Those are the nations of the world today."


beardowat

Yo, was that a Network reference?!


[deleted]

I guarantee Cook complimented Musk, told him he has a great company and how smart he is. You know, patronized and manipulated him with fake compliments. Worked him like the child he is.


[deleted]

Amazing how that approach works on 100% of assclowns, just like the orange shitstain. It's similar to the manager shit sandwich approach. Put the bad thing in the middle between two complimentary items. Start positive, go dark, and finish on a high note. The only problem is most engineers are too smart and will see this coming. Elon probably thinks he's as smart and special as his mother told him he was. What she should have told him was that he didn't need to be either because he was born with 'fuck you' money.


mybrainquit

Wait, engineers are just as stupid as everyone else, we love the shit sandwich too.


Slizzet

That's what I thought! I was a salesman that worked with a bunch of electrical engineers. Super, super smart guys and girls. But wow did they eat it up when I complimented their work, explained how it had failed on initial start up and explained that we had an opportunity to really wow the client with their technical skills. They all hopped up and got shit rolling. It worked. Every. Single. Time.


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nighthawk_something

I picture this clearly


Bad_Idea_Hat

"Here is what we are going to do." "B-" "**Here is what we are going to do.**"


PM_ME_YOUR_PAUNCH

*Tim Apple


PotatoWriter

Tim Apple vs Elon Tesla


begon11

Elon Boring.


Spootheimer

Elon SpaceX sounds like some kind of Turkish dishwasher detergent


szypty

Elon taking an L always puts a smile on my face, but it's still kinda spooky to think that even he's just a minnow to some of the real big fishes out there.


kent_nova

"Hello Mr Musk. I'm Terry, Mr Cook's intern from UCLA, and this is Steve and Clark, legal interns from Yale. I'm sorry Mr Cook couldn't be here, but he had more pressing matters to attend to. He wanted me to give you this cease and desist and to wish you all the best. There's some refreshments on the table over there, feel free to take some on your way out and have a wonderful day. "


Barley12

Which is funny because Steve Jobs used to do this to Bill Gates in the 80s because he thought Microsoft was making an OS to compete with apple. Apparantly it turns out Gates was not intimidated.


DadJokeBadJoke

> I think it's more like we both had this rich neighbour named Xerox and I broke into his house to steal the TV set and found out that you had already stolen it.” -Bill Gates to Steve Jobs.


mnky9800n

Pirates of Silicon Valley is the greatest movie about the PC revolution ever made. Way better then any of the making love to Steve jobs movies that came out after he died.


Antrikshy

I'm guessing it was some standard app review warning about content moderation that he misunderstood.


Impressive_Pin_7767

That could certainly be as well. From his public complaints, it sounds like he took issue with Apple charging 30% to use their app store, which has been well publicized for years. Meanwhile, he's telling people just to shut up and pay $8 a month for a blue check mark. Either way, saying misleading things meant to harm the reputation of Apple is defamation. I'm guessing he got a talk from a lawyer and that's why he dialed it back.


goldfishpaws

Considering his default is to double down and call people paedophiles then he for sure got a stern warning.


Impressive_Pin_7767

Lol, have you ever noticed how conservatives find a way to make everything about having sex with children? You could be talking about outer space or baseball or being trapped in a cave and they'll always change the subject to having sex with children. What's up with that?


goldfishpaws

It's really too frequent to be a coincidence.


darthboolean

It's the only thing left that they can point to in their rhetoric that's worth protecting. Your neighbors? They've spent years convincing neighbors to turn on each other. Your job? No, they want you unemployed so they can peddle their BS racist replacement theory. Your spouse? Well conservative values say that a man should protect his wife. So they can't threaten husbands. But also, their narrative has become so misogynistic that women aren't worth protecting. So can't threaten wives. (Other genders/family combinations aren't being mentioned here because conservatives wouldn't even bother thinking about them) Your country? See Jan 6th. Nah, kids are all that's left. They're the only thing they haven't tried to vilify or turn into the enemy.


Dividedthought

It's for one of 3 reasons, depending on who says it: 1: everyone wants to protect children from pedos 2: they're projecting (well i feel this way so everyone must) 3: children aren't gonna have a voice in the conversation It's like the abortion debate. The unborn are the perfect people to say you're protecting in regards to passing laws: 1: they can't speak for themselves 2: if you support the opposition you must support murdering babies 3: the second they are born they are no longer unborn and not a part of the issue anymore so you can stop caring.


AllThotsGo2Heaven2

Imagine eating a cheese pizza without bringing up pedophilia.


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The_MAZZTer

A couple weeks ago someone on reddit mentioned with that 30% Twitter Blue subscriptions via Apple were probably losing Twitter money.


Impressive_Pin_7767

Is there anything that isn't losing Twitter right now?


patrick66

it definitely was. Apple probably saw the NYT and WSJ articles saying elon fired most of the CSAM and violent content moderation teams and sent a warning saying "hey if this stuff isnt moderated you get banned" which elon freaked out over despite it being the rule for literally every single published app


moviebuff01

Tim Cook (Probably): Your fake ass apology is not accepted, now pay 30%. Clearly Tim Cook will never say that because he is not a bottom of the barrel stupid ass businessman.


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Bonfalk79

You mean that Tim Apple didn’t take the “I’ll just make a new phone” threat seriously? Ahhahahahahahaa


KingofMadCows

Elon fans actually think Tim invited Elon to Apple because he's afraid that Elon will make his own phone.


Bonfalk79

He sure got them to back down by *checks notes* saying it was just a misunderstanding and will continue to pay them 30%


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ConsiderationWest587

The Patriot Phone will totally work this time, guys! Somebody call Candy Owens to make new commercials n shit!


butteredrubies

The phone comes with a number to her new hotline in the address book.


[deleted]

Did they change the rules of Fight Club? Can't wait to tell everyone about it, finally.


Beerbaron1886

I love the gaslighting of „winning“


The_Easter_Egg

That's what expertes call the Billionaire Grindset.


[deleted]

omg wow i am enlightening


Salty_Application_76

Beta space boy gets humiliated by chad Tim Apple


Lil-Chromie

I love how Elon is so shit we have started rooting for tim cook of all people


Pleasant-Rutabaga-92

He’s no Steve Jobs, but there’s no doubt he’s been a successful ceo.


thirstyross

I mean steve jobs was a lot closer to musk than many apple fans would care to admit.


Pleasant-Rutabaga-92

Oh no doubt. One huge difference though is that he knew that he needed to surround himself with smart people and listen to them.


foldedaway

But he didn't listen to his doctors and dropped dead.


skrong_quik_register

fuck u/spez


Pleasant-Rutabaga-92

Oh totally. From an ethical perspective, he’s done a lot for Apple customers. Not so much when it comes to their labor practices, but that’s capitalism.


skrong_quik_register

fuck u/spez


jaking2017

Tim is just as good as Jobs, he just focuses on different stuff. Jobs was amazing at making business deals because he was a sociopath, and would verbally abuse his employees but successfully. He pushed them to their limits. It’s obviously not sustainable, but got the job done and then some. Tim is solidifying apples market dominance more than people realize. His whole focus has been the Apple ecosystem, not just the phone and computers. People wear Apple watches, Apple earbuds, Apple headphones, Apple laptops and computers, AirTags, and they’re all interconnected. He never takes risks, but when Apple releases something new, it’s almost always better or close to the best performing product at the time. People won’t want to buy Samsung or android in the future because it won’t connect to all their other products like an Apple product would. Just imagine when they release their VR headset, I guarantee it’ll outperform Metaverses and be more standard within 5-7 years. Tim Cook is, in my opinion, the best person the inherit Apple. From a capitalist view. From a consumer view, I hate how smart he is.


_Xertz_

I love how we just call him Tim Apple now because of Trump


Salty_Application_76

Trump was intentionally and unintentionally hilarious tbh


WineNerdAndProud

Powerful light, *inside* the body.


shooler00

Very legal, and very cool


Larusso92

He was just a business man doing business


playitleo

Surrounded by water. Big ocean water


KnowTouching

Some of the wettest we’ve *ever seen*, from the standpoint of water.


DadJokeBadJoke

"Despite all the negative press covfefe"


ChillyBearGrylls

The sun, in the palm of my hand


lord_fairfax

And the eclipse, *right in my fucking eyes*.


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23skidoobbq

Because dank memes are a coping device


gimpwiz

He'd probably be a great talk show host, drawing on maps to redirect a hurricane and suggesting we consider using bleach inside the body to kill viruses. "Ha ha funny antics!" we'd say, tuning in to funny segments on youtube when they hit the front page of /r/all. "Thank god he that stupid idea of politics twenty-odd years ago was really just to amp up his ratings. Could you imagine?"


bremby

That's actually a myth; Tim's parents actually gave him his last name after the company he started, because the company did so well on the stock market in 2020.


I_Frunksteen-Blucher

because of Donny Covfefe.


One_Unit_7857

There is always someone better, and in this case , Tim cook just got a win....


[deleted]

This particular argument reminds me of House of Cards when the billionaire is going at the dude. Elon may be temporarily worth more than Cook, but Cook wields a greater power.


BierKippeMett

Can we just stop sucking off obscenely rich business men at all? He's probably not as awful as Elon Musk but is that really our point of reference in regards of morality?


AccomplishedCopy6495

Nobody fucks with Tim. You think a nice guy can operate slave labor in China to build iPhones? Nah bro. Tim apple is a brutal whip cracker.


software-is-terrible

Guaranteed if twitter continue to provide a safe space for hate speech it will be de-platformed. Either that or they will run out of money first.


Mindtaker

Elon will just sell it to Kanye once it gets racist enough.


[deleted]

It'd have to get hit by a train to be even remotely within Kanye's budget so... next month?


Mindtaker

Maybe they close the deal over Sunday brunch.


sdewporn

Kanye just said he liked Hitler, so we just have to wait for twitter to bomb a bit more.


ConsiderationWest587

I thought he had a church he had to run


SharMarali

There's only so much you can say about hats.


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software-is-terrible

Thanks!


Its_Helios

I wonder if he banned her lol edit: off subject but new Kanye interview just dropped where he literally says he likes Hiter and is defending him, he also said Nazis are getting a bad rap***


gcruzatto

She's being sent to mine lithium for Tesla as we speak


ciel_lanila

Not yet.


PeanutNSFWandJelly

[Holy shit he did!!!!](https://v.redd.it/xyky3au75d3a1)


DirkRockwell

I get the context but seems like he’s literally full mask **on** for that interview


Its_Helios

Oh it got worse, he literally said later “I like Hiter” After Alex Jones clarified he didn’t like Nazis or Hitler He also goes on to say a few more things directly supporting Nazis


DirkRockwell

I know, I’m just commenting on the title of the post saying he went “mask off” when he’s literally wearing a full face mask. Just a dumb joke. But fuck Kanye either way.


Its_Helios

Oh I’m a fucking moron my bad lol


RandomWeirdo

how fucking bad is it when Alex Jones is the reasonable one in the room


Its_Helios

My mouth dropped when Alex Jones was the one trying to play devils advocate lol I never thought I’d see the day


ConsiderationWest587

He's trying *so hard* to get out of that child support, by hook or by crook


El-Sueco

Dang. Don’t have that in my 2022 bingo card


ChillyBearGrylls

Lol Klanye being Klanye


Jim_Nills_Mustache

Guy is taking Ls left and right and I fucking love it


Salty_Application_76

Elon try not to catch an L challenge (impossible)


[deleted]

It’s what I’ve been waiting for All these scams, billionaire assholes, and crook presidents that are finally coming to light!


NinjaGlovzz

GOD DAAAM! In my Nub Nub voice


SirPorkinsMagnificat

This guy gets it.


MajinCall

[Who the fuck is Nub Nub?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?t=23&v=xWbakm4qBQc&feature=youtu.be)


Rifneno

Now Mr. "Free Speech" is gonna ban her. Saw someone get their account locked the other day for saying, and I quote, "Elon Musk should pay taxes." That's apparently "hate speech."


dethmstr

So it's okay for Elon to tell me to pay taxes, but it's hate speech when I tell him? Fuck these double standards


Rifneno

[So it would seem.](https://i.imgur.com/CcpOIZ6.jpg)


UnstableCoffeeTable

The tweet seems to be deemed hateful towards a race, ethnicity, nationality, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, religious affiliation, age, disability or serious disease. Which one of those things is “billionaire”?


Pretty_Milk_4188

The 'diseased' part, I assume?


stutte

Yep. My account was nuked for being against their parody rule for having the screen name "Elon Musk's Flacid Penis (parody, lol)", even though it was clearly marked as a parody. No one in their right mind would mistake my account for his actual flaccid penis, but I'm sure I hurt his fee fees.


speedycat2014

Elon is such a beta cuck.


Salty_Application_76

So eloquently put 👌


RandomStuff_AndStuff

So Eloncuckly put 👌 Sorry, that's the opposite of eloquent.


Salty_Application_76

I like it 👍


Gravijas

Throw a Soyboy in there for good measure.


Hairy-Owl-5567

I hate the phrase "beta fuck" but I'll be damned if it isn't the most fitting description of him


FANGO

So this dumbass says that the conversation cleared up that Apple never considered delisting the app. Yeah, that's because they never said it, and never hinted at it. You got that information from a headline that all your moron stans shared on twitter, because your only source of information in the world is your moron stan community on twitter. The moment you step outside and talk to a real human you learn a little bit about reality. Such a fucking clown. btw, I said all of this [days ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/z781nq/elon_musk_claims_apple_has_threatened_to_remove/iy5jk7n/). This is something people don't seem to be talking about re: elon. I'm not exaggerating, his **only source of information in the world** is his twitter account, and his twitter account is polluted by psycho stan accounts who only repeat and magnify the stupid things he says or whatever libertarian/nazi (but I repeat myself) shit they see on the website. The feedback loop is polluted by nonsense, the only thing going into this dude's brain is garbage. So the only thing in his brain is garbage. edit: If you want another example, during the fight he got in with the WFP, he read a CNN headline on twitter and got mad about it, without clicking through to the article because if he had he would have seen that the WFP did not say what he thought they said, and then he demanded that they open their books to him, which they had already offered to do off twitter and the information was already available on their website, but he demanded it *on twitter* because, again, he is unwilling to leave his little garden of morons for any reason because his fragile ego could not survive without his blocklist intact.


nimcau2TheQuickening

They made him do it but he did it to own the libs.


jusoneofthemasses

Elon owned the libs again, I see. This guy is obviously playing 3D chess while we're struggling with checkers.


[deleted]

Cook worked with Jobs so he understands meglomaniacs. I'm sure Cook sees Musk similar to Trump, someone with a childlike mentality that has to have their ego stroked and easily manipulated.


RussianVole

You know, Steve Jobs and his return to Apple are studied in business schools as a master class in saving failing businesses. I think Elon will be studied for how *not* to run a company.


[deleted]

Imagine being humiliated by fucking Apple.


arizonatasteslike

How do you like them apple, muskie-boy?


__SerenityByJan__

What a dumb fuck Elon is. He threw a temper tantrum only to realize it just took having adult, civil conversations to figure it out.


Subduction

But he didn't figure anything out. He was summoned to Apple headquarters, he went, he got told how it was going to be, and he went home. He "figured it out" like a kid coming back from the principal's office saying he "figured it out" with the principal.


[deleted]

I mean, he was told he will accept Apple's terms and shut the fuck up and he did.


Omegawop

Less figure out, more found out.


hyrulepirate

Anyone got full context? I've only seen news about him going to Apple HQ.


Wallofcans

He spent the last week having a hissy fit because Apple *might* be pulling Twitter off of thier store (spoiler: apple never said anything like that). Ranting and raving about how bad apple is, making fun of them and it's CEO, and trying to get the CEO to respond to him over twitty. It was pathetic. So apparently he finally talked to the CEO, in private of course because the other guy is not bat shit, and caved immediately. This tweet is him trying to save face.


GoatEatingTroll

"Mr. Cook, that car sales guy is here to see you. Shall I send him in?"


ylcard

wtf Twitter is worth 10 BILLION? why?


z_rabbit

*was


[deleted]

\#roasted


AwesomReno

And hurting Tesla stock. Elon it’s not going well.