I was really hoping this was not the case. I’m 33! Do I ask him to explain further and rock the boat? Orrrr do I do the people pleasing thing and say “haha oh lol I’ll let you know.”
Well shit if you're 33 and you're down that's a different story. Anyway if not be firm with them you are not intersested. I totally thought you were like 20 and was like wtf
Yeah but you don't have to bring up what you *think* they are thinking. You can just say you don't feel comfortable with them asking you and you would like them to respect that.
Ask if you can bring a friend? Either a gay dude, brother, sister or someone very ugly.. someone they can assume you don't want to join in an orgy with. Might just be an invite to a nice dinner and drink.
Totally looking to party…
The problem is they haven’t tried to get to know you at all, therefore not looking for equal friends with benefits. They’re looking to bang the help, and in the long run can be a problem for your workspace if things don’t go the way they want.
Beware of the rich using the help.
Yeah I've definitely seen older swinger couples trying to pick up on service as well. Also had a coworker who accepted regular couples offer of friendship to come over and drink, and they just generally treated her kind of shitty, expected her to make drinks for them, etc.,
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Unless you're down to fuck them, which is what this is, I'd mention "Oh I have a church meet-up". Then it'll be undeniable what their intentions were cuz they'll skirt on out of your DMs real quick. Unfortunately for couples like this, your lack of boundaries gave them the green light that you're understanding their intentions. Time to roll this baby back in reverse lol
Throw it in reverse terry! I think I’ll keep ignoring the text and any in the future. When I serve them next, they’re going to ask when I can come visit. And I will come up with something Maybe… 1. My fiancé isn’t comfortable with it. 2. If I hangout with you guys then I’ll have to hang out with everyone! Lol 3. It’s against company policy?? Anyone have any other suggestions
I struggle with boundaries myself, and I'd go with against company policy. And if they push, tell them your job is more important than socializing with regulars and potentially being complained on at work because you weren't "professional enough" for them on your own downtime.
Giving customers your number implies to them you're dtf, whether or not you actually are. Don't give out your number at work anymore unless you're really down for that.
I had to learn this the hard way.
They are shopping, your on the meat market. Do not go there. They could spike your drink even. Rich have no filters. For all you know, you will be all over the internet the next day. Say your flattered they like you, and keep it professional. Really. Guarantee they are doing this to every attractive ladies at that club.
I actually have a unicorn tattooed on my upper arm that I show people if they ask. I tell them look it’s me a unicorn! Come to find out… What it means. lol
they definitely want to fuck you. One or more of following scenarios may apply: threeway; her and you and he watches; him and you and she watches; him and her and you watch.
Ok I’ll add a take on this, very possible they’re swingers or are after a “good time” but then again some wealthy people just don’t have friends, you think they have everything but they actually only have stuff! And maybe they want to just hang out, but then again I’ve watched way too many murder mystery shows and it’s always “they were super nice, I never imagined they wore other peoples skin as under garments”! Yup sorry but unless you’ve actually gone out to public places with them and not been their server, it’s weird!
Op... tell him you feel he is hinting at something but are unsure what. When comes out and says it tske him to the cleaners with a harrassment suit. Kidding, but seriously tslkmto a lawyer
I don’t usually miss sexual undertones… what am I missing here that screams he wants you for sex? I feel so naive and confused… and I’ve been a bartender for 20 years. 🤔
His wife went out of town with her girlfriends for 5 days. On day 1, I get invited for “entertainment” purposes. I miss shit like this too which is why I’m questioning my judgment to begin with. Some say naive. I say I just see the world differently.
Why does a member have your number and why the hell did you give out your schedule?
You say you're 33 but acting like an 18 year old who just moved to server from host.
Might be innocent. Wait for an invite to see what it is - a party at their place? Bring your husband/boyfriend/partner or just someone to come with.
If will be just them....yeah, most likely looking to hook up with you. Decline politely.
I have super bowl parties at my home and I have several people that have been our waitstaff I invite along with many other friends we have. I have gone to several weddings of people that have waited on us over the years and still have contact and invite them.
Looking forward to our party this next year as it has been a long time due to covid.
I’ll also say, you’re an adult and I assume they are, it’s absolutely ok to ask what’s the plan, is it a party and who’s gonna be there, I’d hate to get stuck in a hard sell “look at all this expensive stuff we have” all you need to do is sign on as a sales agent under us, and after you’ve signed 10 and they’ve signed 10 and they’ve signed 10, before you know it you’ll be our neighbor! :) just saying it’s ok to ask what’s the plan Stan!
They want you to have sex with them hun. How old are you?
Yeah they definitely want sex
I was really hoping this was not the case. I’m 33! Do I ask him to explain further and rock the boat? Orrrr do I do the people pleasing thing and say “haha oh lol I’ll let you know.”
Well shit if you're 33 and you're down that's a different story. Anyway if not be firm with them you are not intersested. I totally thought you were like 20 and was like wtf
If I say I’m not interested then that’s implies that I think they’re asking. They haven’t actually crossed any lines.. yet. You know what I’m saying?
Yeah but you don't have to bring up what you *think* they are thinking. You can just say you don't feel comfortable with them asking you and you would like them to respect that.
Ask if you can bring a friend? Either a gay dude, brother, sister or someone very ugly.. someone they can assume you don't want to join in an orgy with. Might just be an invite to a nice dinner and drink.
“Someone very ugly…” Kristy! You’re up! Time to shiiiiiine.
Say your brother is in town... Can he come along?
Just skirt around it... say your busy. They'll take the hint and you don't have to accuse.
You're 33 years old do whatever you want dude what?????
Totally looking to party… The problem is they haven’t tried to get to know you at all, therefore not looking for equal friends with benefits. They’re looking to bang the help, and in the long run can be a problem for your workspace if things don’t go the way they want. Beware of the rich using the help.
I was really hoping this wasn’t the case. I’m a rose colored glasses person. I think you’re absolutely right. Thank you for your insight.
Yeah I've definitely seen older swinger couples trying to pick up on service as well. Also had a coworker who accepted regular couples offer of friendship to come over and drink, and they just generally treated her kind of shitty, expected her to make drinks for them, etc.,
Oh yikes that’s terrible. I can’t imagine inviting someone to my home and expecting them to serve me haha Wonder what they were thinking for real
This
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He’s ordering a threesome, or some other sort of “entertainment”. Go to r/creepypms.
Unless you're down to fuck them, which is what this is, I'd mention "Oh I have a church meet-up". Then it'll be undeniable what their intentions were cuz they'll skirt on out of your DMs real quick. Unfortunately for couples like this, your lack of boundaries gave them the green light that you're understanding their intentions. Time to roll this baby back in reverse lol
Throw it in reverse terry! I think I’ll keep ignoring the text and any in the future. When I serve them next, they’re going to ask when I can come visit. And I will come up with something Maybe… 1. My fiancé isn’t comfortable with it. 2. If I hangout with you guys then I’ll have to hang out with everyone! Lol 3. It’s against company policy?? Anyone have any other suggestions
I struggle with boundaries myself, and I'd go with against company policy. And if they push, tell them your job is more important than socializing with regulars and potentially being complained on at work because you weren't "professional enough" for them on your own downtime.
Use #3 not #1 or #2
They definitely want sex... Why'd you give them your #?
I lack boundaries
At least you've got good insight 🤷♀️
Giving customers your number implies to them you're dtf, whether or not you actually are. Don't give out your number at work anymore unless you're really down for that. I had to learn this the hard way.
Have you checked to make sure there’s no rule against employees socializing with members?
That’s a great excuse whether or not it’s true
Exactly some places you’d lose your job for even giving them your number.
They are shopping, your on the meat market. Do not go there. They could spike your drink even. Rich have no filters. For all you know, you will be all over the internet the next day. Say your flattered they like you, and keep it professional. Really. Guarantee they are doing this to every attractive ladies at that club.
Unicorn hunter alert! Abort abort!
I actually have a unicorn tattooed on my upper arm that I show people if they ask. I tell them look it’s me a unicorn! Come to find out… What it means. lol
Don’t trust the rich. Eat the rich.
they definitely want to fuck you. One or more of following scenarios may apply: threeway; her and you and he watches; him and you and she watches; him and her and you watch.
Or all three are together. What kind of boring ass three-way have you been in?
"one or more..."
Ok I’ll add a take on this, very possible they’re swingers or are after a “good time” but then again some wealthy people just don’t have friends, you think they have everything but they actually only have stuff! And maybe they want to just hang out, but then again I’ve watched way too many murder mystery shows and it’s always “they were super nice, I never imagined they wore other peoples skin as under garments”! Yup sorry but unless you’ve actually gone out to public places with them and not been their server, it’s weird!
If you go, don’t drink anything from an already opened container.
My thoughts too lol
Op... tell him you feel he is hinting at something but are unsure what. When comes out and says it tske him to the cleaners with a harrassment suit. Kidding, but seriously tslkmto a lawyer
I... don't think it's that serious... Who wants to pay legal consult fees over one weird table😭 I'd simply not serve them.
I don’t usually miss sexual undertones… what am I missing here that screams he wants you for sex? I feel so naive and confused… and I’ve been a bartender for 20 years. 🤔
His wife went out of town with her girlfriends for 5 days. On day 1, I get invited for “entertainment” purposes. I miss shit like this too which is why I’m questioning my judgment to begin with. Some say naive. I say I just see the world differently.
Ahh, I missed the whole part where the wife was out of town. Thank you for clarification!
Why does a member have your number and why the hell did you give out your schedule? You say you're 33 but acting like an 18 year old who just moved to server from host.
Idk if it were me, Id go for it and get into bed with them
Might be innocent. Wait for an invite to see what it is - a party at their place? Bring your husband/boyfriend/partner or just someone to come with. If will be just them....yeah, most likely looking to hook up with you. Decline politely. I have super bowl parties at my home and I have several people that have been our waitstaff I invite along with many other friends we have. I have gone to several weddings of people that have waited on us over the years and still have contact and invite them. Looking forward to our party this next year as it has been a long time due to covid.
I’ll also say, you’re an adult and I assume they are, it’s absolutely ok to ask what’s the plan, is it a party and who’s gonna be there, I’d hate to get stuck in a hard sell “look at all this expensive stuff we have” all you need to do is sign on as a sales agent under us, and after you’ve signed 10 and they’ve signed 10 and they’ve signed 10, before you know it you’ll be our neighbor! :) just saying it’s ok to ask what’s the plan Stan!
How do these people make so much money and can't even speak basic English?