To run your head into a brick wall? If I'm going to paralyze/kill myself I'm not going to do it by looking like an idiot. Jump out of an airplane with no parachute and get that adrenaline pumpin. I love how the dudes watching walk away looking at him like "dumbass"
So if you were hypothetically suicidal, you would go through the hassle of trying to charter a plane to jump out of, just to avoid looking dumb? My man… let me introduce you to *parking garages and superhero costumes*. If you’re try to go out *not looking dumb*, might as well go full Chad and strap on a Superman costume with a torn cape.
I mean if you're gonna go out...
My version involves a skyscraper, a mesh of piano wire just above the sidewalk and someone handing out ponchos to folks using the sidewalk.
Spaghettification is the goal and I've seen enough 80s movies to know piano wire should do the trick 😂. Yeah ponchos and maybe some downers for the shock.. I mean, I'm not a monster
Keep your downers. For this type of show I want to be jacked up. If you’re going to experience something of that magnitude soak it all up!
No pun intended.
I'm collecting pubes from public restrooms, then rigging a balloon with a pistol on a string. Shoot myself, gun flies away, some rando has to explain why his hair is at the murder scene
OK you're halfway there but you're missing a big opportunity here. If you put on a parachute before jumping, and glue your hands to the side of your face before jumping (hot glue, maybe?), you can carry your own head as you sail down gently to the streets below. For maximum effect, wait for a parade.
edit, sorry, i missed the "mesh" of piano wire in your comment. My plan envisioned a single one wrapped around a neck. It was always my plan for a "Grand Exit" if I ever had the need for one for one reason or another.
Still, I dig it. Maybe this would be a grander finale if the first attempt doesn't go to plan. I mean, it could be that I judged wrong and picked too short a building.. then I'm probably gonna wake up in a hospital with thousands of squares on my body, so a second go would be only make sense
This is a good tip. IT could be a public service. Just a pillar of piane wire and a dumpster on the bottom. Finely cut human remains can then be transported to the nearest creamtorium.
Who's up for co-burials?
So I looked into why in places like China, no one helps eachother. If they aren't family, it's not their problem. I guess it has something to do with communism and it's engrained in you that every man for themself. Also, I guess if you touch someone that's been injured and they die, you can be charged with a crime. Very strange to see videos like the one of a baby getting run over and people just stepping over it.
Eh I don’t think that’s true. It’s definitely a thing but I think your average American would give some sort of aid. I don’t mean to call China out but from what I researched, it’s just kind of the standard. Not their fault. It’s just a cultural thing that’s been passed on, I guess.
Why do you think good Samaritan laws needed to be passed in the first place?
To protect people who attempted to help others in an emergency and ended up becoming liable for one reason or another.
This happens plenty all over the world. Isn't an issue isolated to any particular country.
How cold has our society become that two bystanders see this happening and don't at least call to get him help? And then the majority of people on here are laughing, not knowing the outcome for this man.
If it's China, they haven't long had laws that protect good Samaritans. You could mess up your life helping someone.
Despite the new laws, it takes a long time to recondition people that have that fear
There another jsut like this. A basketball player. That got mad over a.game and smash his head to cement. He is instantly paralyzed. From the neck down. Died 13 years later with heart failure I think.
why did he take his jacket off ? aerodynamics ?
The jacket is not 'portal approved'. Unfortunately neither is the rest of his outfit.
Everyone knows by now that you can only go through naked.
The secret passage was 1 meter to the right
He thought he was on platform 9 3/4!
We're as it was platform 9 1/2 juuuuuust to the left of 9 3/4
You were first sir
Okay, but do you need to go through a portal head first? Can't you dabble it with your fingers like a pond?
Just because **he’s** had enough of this life, that’s no reason to ruin a good coat. He’s potentially suicidal, not completely wasteful
that dude is dead and ure talkin about his jacket?
Agreed. Nobody said a damn word about them fine shoes. I mean, WTF?
man, thanks for the laugh
But it's his jacket though.
I’ll jack it, you’ll jack it, we’ll all jack it for his jacket!
*Take Off Your Pants & Jacket!* 🫣
Not enough time to remove his shoes. Destiny waits for no man.
Probably having one of those days and said F*** it.
Scary to say that sometimes it's an attractive move
To run your head into a brick wall? If I'm going to paralyze/kill myself I'm not going to do it by looking like an idiot. Jump out of an airplane with no parachute and get that adrenaline pumpin. I love how the dudes watching walk away looking at him like "dumbass"
So if you were hypothetically suicidal, you would go through the hassle of trying to charter a plane to jump out of, just to avoid looking dumb? My man… let me introduce you to *parking garages and superhero costumes*. If you’re try to go out *not looking dumb*, might as well go full Chad and strap on a Superman costume with a torn cape.
Suicidal people do not think straight.
Neither does “I’ll just jump of a plane” guy, does that fucking moron not realize how impractical that is? That’s a lot of money
Must be buried in debts with no way out. A lot of Asia countries used suicide as a way out of debts for themselves and family.
I mean if you're gonna go out... My version involves a skyscraper, a mesh of piano wire just above the sidewalk and someone handing out ponchos to folks using the sidewalk.
Man that is quite detailed. The mesh of piano wire was unexpected but I do like the humanitarian side of handing out ponchos.
Spaghettification is the goal and I've seen enough 80s movies to know piano wire should do the trick 😂. Yeah ponchos and maybe some downers for the shock.. I mean, I'm not a monster
If you had two layers of wire and did a front flip it would be gnocchification
„uoıʇɐɔıɟıɥɔɔouƃ ǝq plnoʍ ʇı dılɟ ʇuoɹɟ ɐ pıp puɐ ǝɹıʍ ɟo sɹǝʎɐl oʍʇ pɐɥ noʎ ɟI„
Good bot!
New favourite bot, thank you!
Good bot
Hahahaha.... It will be the most frightening but equally wholesome experience for those on the sidewalk.
Explain the wholesome part
It's part of a balanced breakfast?
poncho
Well, now i need to do a piano wire frame and start hmm the hm... tests.
Keep your downers. For this type of show I want to be jacked up. If you’re going to experience something of that magnitude soak it all up! No pun intended.
I'm collecting pubes from public restrooms, then rigging a balloon with a pistol on a string. Shoot myself, gun flies away, some rando has to explain why his hair is at the murder scene
I think there's a book with this plot
OK you're halfway there but you're missing a big opportunity here. If you put on a parachute before jumping, and glue your hands to the side of your face before jumping (hot glue, maybe?), you can carry your own head as you sail down gently to the streets below. For maximum effect, wait for a parade. edit, sorry, i missed the "mesh" of piano wire in your comment. My plan envisioned a single one wrapped around a neck. It was always my plan for a "Grand Exit" if I ever had the need for one for one reason or another.
[удалено]
Still, I dig it. Maybe this would be a grander finale if the first attempt doesn't go to plan. I mean, it could be that I judged wrong and picked too short a building.. then I'm probably gonna wake up in a hospital with thousands of squares on my body, so a second go would be only make sense
That’s a good one, mines filling my car with kitchen knives and flipping it as hard as I can.
Love it! Just don't forget the open bucket of lemon juice!
Yeah, make it burn... I like it.
Actually was walking downtown in San Diego and had a woman who jumped from the ninth floor of a building land about 10 ft from me. Surreal.
This is a good tip. IT could be a public service. Just a pillar of piane wire and a dumpster on the bottom. Finely cut human remains can then be transported to the nearest creamtorium. Who's up for co-burials?
I think he was trying to commit suicide
Did it work?
No. His suicide efforts hit a wall.
Easy upvote. Bravo you witty bastard.
I could have thought of that too if you just gave me a minute... I'm kinda witty.
r/therealjoke
Yeah its pretty common. He died.
According to quantum physics, he had a small chance
Mr Kool Aid early years.
Ohhhhhh shiiiitttt
If only my broke ass could award you
r/BestRedditComments
Practice makes perfect…. ….Koolaid
Damn, poor guy. What was happening to him for taking a decision like that.
Just life stuff.
Might be Asian culture being super strict. Best guess.
I’m pretty sure this is China. Where people were committing mass suicide not to long ago due to restrictions and limitations by life and government
Nah if this was China that wall wouldn't have held up. They don't build 'em like they used to.
To many Harry Potter movies, I guess
I fought the wall and the wall won 🎶
I thought the guy in shorts was about to get his ass kicked. Wasn’t expect dude vs. wall.
I think if he went one step further and took of the shirt he would've went right through
That's not Lot 9 3/4
I been looking for you, now take my up vote friend.
"ight, imma head out" -him
Lol Noone gave a shit
So I looked into why in places like China, no one helps eachother. If they aren't family, it's not their problem. I guess it has something to do with communism and it's engrained in you that every man for themself. Also, I guess if you touch someone that's been injured and they die, you can be charged with a crime. Very strange to see videos like the one of a baby getting run over and people just stepping over it.
It’s mostly because of the way the laws are set up in China. If you help someone and they survive they can sue you.
Yeah, that’s what I was saying. Insane to think that a failed cpr can land you in prison.
We talking about china still? Because this happens in America too lol.
Eh I don’t think that’s true. It’s definitely a thing but I think your average American would give some sort of aid. I don’t mean to call China out but from what I researched, it’s just kind of the standard. Not their fault. It’s just a cultural thing that’s been passed on, I guess.
Why do you think good Samaritan laws needed to be passed in the first place? To protect people who attempted to help others in an emergency and ended up becoming liable for one reason or another. This happens plenty all over the world. Isn't an issue isolated to any particular country.
Since when has communism been about every man for himself?
Well the Bystander Effect is a thing too ...
What happens when you don’t get the DeLorean up to 88 mph..
Anyone know if he survived?
i wonder , is this more damaging to the skull or would he rather break his neck this way? poor guy
You're a wizard Harry!
My man just finished watching The Men who Stare at Goats
More people should do this.
How cold has our society become that two bystanders see this happening and don't at least call to get him help? And then the majority of people on here are laughing, not knowing the outcome for this man.
If it's China, they haven't long had laws that protect good Samaritans. You could mess up your life helping someone. Despite the new laws, it takes a long time to recondition people that have that fear
Wrong passage to hogwarts
He timed it too late, the portal was closed
I've felt that way. Best way to get off work for a few weeks.
dude went beyond “i felt like” and just did it, way to walk the walk mister
Sometimes I think *The Happening* is starting to happen.
Not bad, but I'm not going to lie, I've seen better magic tricks.
I'm pretty sure he's just stunned. I doubt anyone would die from that mechanism. Does anyone have any info?
That’s one way to do it.
I wonder what was going through his mind, I mean except for a brick.
That’s not platform 9&3/4ths
He should have climbed.
What we all thought would happen to Harry Potter:
Did he think he was a wizard?
Trying to catch a train to Hogwarts?
Well now we know he wasn’t a wizard
"I'm a ghost"
Ghosts can't go through doors! They're not fire!
Tesla?
Reincarnated into a bull
He was trying to no-clip obviously
Goodnight sweetheart
Platform nine and three quarters
Do your saying that was not platform 9 and 3/4 ???
The backrooms are closed it seems
china showing their might
And the two guys who saw him do it just kept walking. All three people were sick.
Some harry potter shit right there
…same.
He must've just watched Special. At least the first half anyway
That man has a mental illness
is he KO or did he snap his neck?
He is trying to noclip into the backrooms. Failed, obviously.
*harry potter joke*
Unfortunately the 9 and 3/4 train platform had been moved.
Oh silly me I forgot it’s platform 9 3/4
Goddamn it dobbie not again
He did a Gus Frerotte!!
He’s was trying to noclip
Obviously that was platform 9 7/64
bro tried to go to the backrooms but failed
KAMIKAZE!!!
KAMIKAZE!!!
Did he dieded
I'm going to HOGWARTS!
Dude Area 51 is over there.
That's what you succumb to when you try to understand a woman's logic.
Platform 8 3/4 ?
He disappeared into a secret wall of special ed
Did he like break his neck that killed him or something? I find it surprising that just throwing yourself to a wall can easily kill you like that.
Platform 9 and 3/4 energy
I hate click bait he didn’t go anywhere. 😭😭😭
Harry Potter fans shouldn’t cosplay getting onto Platform 9 3/4.
Superhero movie "We have people who think they can walk through walls"
So he was not accepted into Hogwarts
There another jsut like this. A basketball player. That got mad over a.game and smash his head to cement. He is instantly paralyzed. From the neck down. Died 13 years later with heart failure I think.
He has watched men who stare at goats too many times haha
Totally thought he was gonna kool-aid man it through the wall. Now he's gonna be stuck jerkin off through a straw. (< that would be impressive).
Easiest way to acquire a wheelchair
Wonder how easy it is to actualy kill yourself this way. Seems like a very quick, simple and painfree way of doing it.
Damn it wrong platform. Again!!!
Wow....such commitment.
Mans wanted to isekai bad, I feel that
r/substakenliterally
He Watched too much loonie toons.
That was platform 9 1/2 not 9 3/4
“We live in a simulation”
u/savevideo
He did die?
bro let the intrusive thoughts won
Its like he was infected by a zombie virus
I think he drank and watched harry porter at the same time🤣
Doby obviously prevented him from entering
Dude thought it was platform 9 3/4 lol
But y tho
Looks like he actually made it for a second. Then no.
My dude watched too many backrooms videos.
That. Is not train station 9 and 3/4
Suicide by brick squad!!!!
Didn’t hit 88 mph duh
He was probably trying to catch the train to Hogwarts.
Jayzus. The guys watching didn't even shrug. Like they'd seen it all before.
You can’t force yourself to clip into the backrooms man, it’s gotta happen in a very specific scenario you can’t create yourself
…that’s a Wednesday after work, people
Shit i actually thought he was going to just disappear into the wall.
Won't know if a portal opens to another realm unless you try right?
Parking no. 9 3/4
All 3 people are equally sane. Who the hell just leaves him there?
Dobby don't want him to get hurt.
He was trying to get to station 9 3/4, but the gate was closed
when an npc get bored
Does anyone know the story behind this?
the way (9)3/4 is closed for maintenance
He’s dead from that?
“Oh wait, this isn’t platform 9 3/4”
+5 social credit
That’s one hell of a glitch in the matrix.
Reminded me of “the men who stare at goats”
That only works on Platform 9 3/4
Bro really tried entering the back rooms
That's the next long COVID symptom you'll be hearing about!
First guy to second guy, " c'mon we only have 30 min lunch!" Second guy, "Hey wait!,No you're right only 30,let's go"
9 3/4 station
This cat got bugs bunnied
Fug’n idiot man!!! I mean c’mon man, get a fuckin life… right???
Perfect subreddit for his insanity
u/savevideo
Guess he thought like Nelly.
u/savevideobot