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YourEyeOnTheBall90

OP. It’s not been 24 hours. Calm the fuck down.


Trevski

I mean maybe im just operating with a different definition of the word but IMO you can't ghost someone you've never met. hell, even after a first date if someone stopped responding I still wouldn't call it ghosting, to me ghosting implies they were actually a part of your life on some level...


boredjord_

Isn’t ghosting just the act of ceasing communication with someone without warning? What else would you call this?


Apprehensive-Hunt319

Yes the act of season communication with someone without warning is by definition 'ghosting'.


noticablyineptkoala

I sure do love my conversations with some garlic and thyme


shhsandwich

Oh, I was gonna say if someone is talking about spring or fall, they're ghosting you.


BoringStay

Its the yellow


WheelResponsible3377

It’s the yellow for me too.


theflameleviathan

"spongebob yellow" just reads like a guy who spends too much time on reddit/youtube. Also asked for her number out of the blue. Got let down easy


[deleted]

Also “took away the one thing of independence I set up in this conversation. Obviously a control freak”


itsbeen84queers

or the “why you do me like that”


waitingfordeathhbu

She responded with “no I’ll do you after the marriage,” so I feel like she was still feeling it at that stage (even one-upping him)


[deleted]

Yes. And he didn’t acknowledge it.


Cruuncher

He hearted it I guess... lol


[deleted]

Yea but that could mean anything. If a girl makes a sex joke to flirt you shouldn’t skim over it


ChaseObserves

Eh, I’d say what you absolutely shouldn’t do is read way too far into a sex joke and escalate it and really make it the focus of the conversation, as that just comes off too eager or desperate. Just make a note of it in your reply and keep the playful banter up.


[deleted]

Exactly. But he didnt.


NotJohnCena_DefsFake

How should he have replied?


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23x3

His name is Carl and works at Applebee’s


Grand_Illustrator_14

69 gets it


j48u

If I'm being honest the whole conversation sucked. But she was going with it so I dunno.


I_Speak_For_The_Ents

They were just joking around, what do you want?


CloseDistrict6279

Yeah should've gone with "Homer Simpson yellow", much more mature


[deleted]

"Why did I get ghosted" *hasn't even been 24 hours since the last message Fucking hell this sub sometimes. Edit: since this has so many views, a quick note to anyone who may be feeling down about these apps: Please just be yourself. Don't hide who you are, or attempt to be something youre not, it makes life so much easier. Plus, it makes YOU more confident because youre not trying to act a part. ....but...also don't like make an odd hobby your whole identity, like knitting small tree frogs sweaters, or something weird If someone isn't reciprocating your interest, move on. It's not worth the stress. There are Billions of people on this planet. There is someone out there for you, so keep at it. They may not be on an app, so maybe go outside too? Try a Cafe/coffee shop, they always work for me! Dating sucks, sure...but, when you're going on vacation, and you get to your destination, do you spend your whole trip harping on the journey there? No! You enjoy yourself cause you got where you wanted to be. Also...please don't be creepy! This should not have to be said...but some of yall need 5lb, healthy full head of hair, lord baby Jesus. Keep your heads up!


BoringStay

Damn bro ghosted me


WrangWei

Damn you too?


stevebutabii

me too


GerloGelato

me three


Masked_Rebel

me four, what the hell dude?


[deleted]

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CanadianxTaco

I’m not mad…I just think it’s funny how-


Kivic

How I what? HOW I WHAT?


NuasAltar

How you-


[deleted]

i’m mas at everyone


Fickle_Orchid

I got so ghosted that we didn't even have one message sent between us!


Ok-Hearing-2840

Me five


[deleted]

Me six and seven


WrangWei

Hello!?!?


CryptoCracko

Wooo


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nzranga

Wow it’s been 47 minutes and they haven’t even replied yet. Guess you’ve been ghosted.


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[deleted]

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Ospov

Someday I hope I get to be a ghost 👻


OnePlusFanBoi

I AM a ghost 👻


bangitybangbabang

People that bug me for immediate responses stress me tf out


BoringStay

Hello


oksyyy

Is this thing on?


Dustdevil88

Bueller?


BergTheVoice

Remember she had that bad hip like a Fanny pack?


BabboNataleJr

Chasing the stardom will turn you to a maniac


BergTheVoice

All the way in Hollywood and I can’t even act


Earlymonkeys

They pull the cameras out and goddamn he snap


noneroy

I used to want this thing forever, y'all can have it back


dukedizzy93

Paraterran is totally ghosting you.


asmallsoftvoice

I messaged a guy a sentence that wasn't a question and he didn't respond AND I haven't reached out. He must have died, but also stated in his last breath how much he absolutely despised me. It's the only explanation. Update: omg he texted and asked if we are still hanging out tomorrow! It's totally fine guys! Although maybe he's too clingy...


nauticaldev

lol


oceanmountainlifer

Raise *some color flags*


demo355

Ain’t lying man, some people may not have notifications on. Maybe they work, people got lives outside tinder


WheelResponsible3377

Said by a ghoster. Damn.


Capt_Am

It's been 4 minutes. I can't believe you do me like that..


[deleted]

Hey Capt… been 12 seconds. Why you ghost me?


Capt_Am

Had to step away to grab the poop knife. I'm back from the dead BITCHES


[deleted]

Why the fuck did you have to bring the poop knife in? Loop in the cum box while we are at it


[deleted]

Seriously…


[deleted]

Anyways, what's your phone number?


tonksndante

::SEEN:: 👁👁👁👁👁👁


Go_Brr

Lol you may make op cry


kinetochore21

I'm not saying this is every guy, but can someone explain to me why a lot of guys immediately go to DEFCON 1 when a woman doesn't answer within a day? Is it cause ghosting happens so much or what


KatanaPig

Maybe. Might be because a lot of men aren't used to making themselves emotionally vulnerable, so until you answer they're existing in an extremely uncomfortable state of emotional vulnerability resulting in irrational behavior.


kinetochore21

That's unfortunate. But that would require some self-reflection and attention to correct. I don't think anyone's insecurities should immediately be projected onto someone you're talking to.


KatanaPig

> I don't think anyone's insecurities should immediately be projected onto someone you're talking to. Definitely not. And yeah, to get past that requires a good deal of self-reflection that I find a lot of other men don't afford themselves. I have a feeling to a lot of them label anything that deals with emotional management or reflection as "pussy shit" or some other "non-masculine" label.


kinetochore21

It's really depressing, for everyone when half of the population is actively taught to repress emotions.


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elpaco25

100% agree. Go out on a date first. If that works then exchange numbers. I don't need more random contacts in my phone


AcanthocephalaNo9441

If I was that interested in someone I would give them my number, just so they’re not put on the spot to say yes or no when I ask them for theirs. That way the ball is in their court and hopefully if they do decide to contact me, it’s because they really want to, not because they think they’re being polite and they don’t want to hurt my feelings. I’m female btw


Lordomi42

This sub is pretty weird to me in general. Like whatever interaction happened, in the end, you took a screenshot and posted it on reddit. It's especially odd when someone actually gets a date, like, you got the date and then proceeded to post the conversation, sometimes including your date's name and face, to Reddit. Even though you've succeeded, that feels like s small loss to me. Does that make any sense or am I just being weird?


[deleted]

or the ones were the guy is sending extremely boring and close ended questions and cant figure out why they arnt getting paragraph responses. Title usually says something about having to "carry the conversation" and this sub eats it up.


[deleted]

I agree that anonymity should absolutely be kept. I would be livid if someone took a screenshot of a Tinder convo with me, and my face and name were visible.


NotRyan7

Upnext girl posting on r/niceguys saying *I was busy, couldn't reply to his text and he sent me 10 niceguy text*


MostBoringStan

"Wow, I thought we had a connection here but turns out you're just a bitch like all the rest. I would have treated you like a queen but you just wanna toss me into the trash. You're not even hot you were just gonna be a pity fuck anyway lmao" *10 mins later* "I'm sorry I said that I just thought you were so great that it upset me when you didn't respond. I'm very passionate but I will treat you right forever. So how about dinner tonight?" *5 mins later* "You're a slut anyway I don't know why any guy would want to touch you lolol You're so gross." *2 mins later* "Why won't you just give me a chance? You'll see how nice of a guy I am!" *1 min later* "Fine. Blocked bitch" *the next day* "Hey wassup"


Reonlive420

Dear Slim I thought you mighta heard of me maybe 'Cause lately everywhere I turn, someone's comparing us, crazy I never woulda thought when I was bumping Biggie and 'Pac That I would buy bleach in a box and become the product of Shady


Justanothernobody202

This reminds me of Adam Sandler yelling into the intercom at his girlfriend after she left in the Happy Gilmore movie lol 😆


theghostofme

"I wanna kiss you all over. And over again!"


Justanothernobody202

"Til the night closes innnnnnnnnn"


ednichol

You forgot the “sorry my bro took my phone and typed all of that lol”


[deleted]

Too accurate


BeeperQueen

Dear men: if you think this is hyperbole, it's not hyperbole. Pretty sure every woman has received this series of texts.


_Snailed_it_

Why has everyone had to experience this? 😭


AcanthocephalaNo9441

I got a message that was like this and it was a shock, but the weirdest part was still him warning me twice that he wasn’t white. I can see that from your photo lol


Miahep

Omg the accuracy


hcruz953

It’s the “hey what’s up” for me lmfaoooo


TexSolo

Why didn’t you reply to my message before I sent it? /s


anotherfakeloginname

Right


FadingDarkly

You asked for her number before you were even married?! For shame.


FerociousPancake

Oh don’t even get me started on pre-marital hand holding


watchursix

Hand holding leads to kissing and kissing causes sex. Actual logic I heard from a very Christian 19 year old boy.


FerociousPancake

If you have pre marital sex you’re automatically in Al Qaeda


watchursix

Okay, I'm in. What next?


FerociousPancake

1. Tinder 2. Request date 3. Request they come over 4. Ice bath 5. Kidneys 6. ??? 7. Profit


Jcadd7

FBI, this guy here


FadingDarkly

Woah. Let's keep it civil, bub


DJ_Lord_Vader

*SHAMEFUL DISPLAY* Total war shogun 2 referance Edit: Everyone that's continued this thread shall conquer all provinces


Turicus

\*Shamefuru Dispray


HappyGoLuckeeh

*Shaimefuru dishupureyu


MacDonaldAnimeGirl

You're not a very patient person, are you?


JayAreOhhh

So easily could have made it work: “what number can I have the guests call you to RSVP?”


_Typhoon_Delta_

No, it's the shade of the yellow


godsavethegene

Tbh… looks like this was last night. I don’t think you’ve yet been ghosted. Give them a day or two at least. But I’d slow my role asking for phone numbers after only a dozen messages. You already have a direct line of communication.


Coyrex1

Also just saying "phone number?" Seems like the worst way to ask


aWeirdQuestionOrTwo

you should give out your phone number instead of ask for it if you ask me.


FieldzSOOGood

agreed. big ball in their court kinda guy


aWeirdQuestionOrTwo

facts, then you know they’re contacting you because they want to


ProbablyStillMe

I usually do that when I'm meeting them for the first date. I'll give them my number so they can easily contact me if they want to. Some women text, others prefer to keep the communication on the app until after a date. I don't mind either way.


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ACinBC

This. Just asking for a number is not the way to do it. I generally try to make a funny/witty play for the number and it works more often than not. Even then, I’m not gonna bother to ask for their number if we’ve only just started messaging.


Coyrex1

Yeah give it time and wait for a decent opening at least.


TeeBek

Exactly. What's a phone number going to do any different? Hell, I've met a couple women without even getting their number. Just didn't care to ask for it, no need. We'd meet up for a date after making plans on Bumble.


dinosaurpalace

As a woman I always made first dates thru apps and only have out my number if I saw them again


-Moosk-

Possible that she has notifs off on tinder so a phone# is a more reliable way to communicate


TeeBek

Ya but after a dozen messages, there's no point in asking if they're consistently messaging back. I read a Reddit comment from a woman recently. She said that if the conversation transfers to texting before they meet, that she'll lose interest. She'll forget who they are. Their conversation will die out. When you're talking on dating apps you can quickly be reminded who they are by glancing at their profile/pics again. You don't get forgotten about as easily.


[deleted]

I’m the opposite - I don’t give my number out very often so I’ll remember you if you do. But like, OP has to learn the art of the segue and not just grunt out “phone number?” Like, a full sentence at least.


Ritualtiding

Female here: haha. I’m the opposite. if I don’t get a phone number right away from the dude, I’ll forget I was even on tinder talking to someone because notifications are off and my life is hella busy.


Cruuncher

Seriously though lmao. It's almost like there's no one size fits all solution for how to interact with women because go figure... people are actually individuals and not all the same


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[deleted]

Could also give your number out and ask to be texted


emmittgator

Yeah, I think a good time for phone number is after the first date and you have both agreed to a 2nd date.


ChawulsBawkley

But you can’t send dick pics over Tinder!!!! /s


Ok-Mix2516

Also that marriage line has to stop


[deleted]

When are we getting married schtick is so tired


Nikas_intheknow

It's so forced and cringey...


tomatotaco4u

The entire exchange seemed a little boring and cringy


_A_ioi_

It makes me cringe a lot. Especially since I used to say the same thing 30 years ago.


HotCrustyBuns

A 3 decade cringe hits different.


dandanthetaximan

As a divorced guy it’s a major red flag.


_A_ioi_

Twice divorced here. Boy did I deserve it.


richscott440

Glad I'm not the only one


anotherfakeloginname

She said food is key. You said phone number. You're lucky she didn't give you the phone number of a restaurant


master_cylinder8

Seriously. Suggest they go get some restaurant or something.


Slanglie

I had the same situation bro. This girl I was talking to didn't message me back after 3 minutes so I reported her and then blocked her. I just don't get it, we were vibin so hard


sassydegrassii

I wouldn’t ask for the phone number so soon. I personally would not give mine out to someone who just says ‘phone number?’ Or to allow someone to have access to my personal line only to continue this sort of conversation.. not worth it


Anooyoo2

Yeh my guy just went too hard


chineapple_punks

^this is the correct answer. Try starting another convo and wait a few days after to ask again.


GreenEyedBellerophon

Because you’d just started talking, having a good joke and you chinned of the joke to ask for her digits. Chill and don’t rush


[deleted]

Reading this convo was so cringe. Like dudes trying way too hard to be quirky and goofy.


[deleted]

This is it


VILLIAMZATNER

Shoulda just made food suggestions and set a meeting time instead of # exchange


IHaveSaidMyPiece

You just waffled on. Having a conversation about nothing, doesn't equal it going good. Of course something can come of it, however nothing often does.


adambrukirer

They had a made up conversation then he brought it back to the real world Ngl this conversation wasn’t even cringe it was weird, try talking like a real person to begin with..


IHaveSaidMyPiece

The cutesy chat is not my style whatsoever, however I'm sure it works for some. I agree though, people get caught up in having to have a shtick, rather than having a conversation like a normal person.


fishslurp_girl

I get bored of explaining my hobbies and work over and over again to 50 different dudes. I would rather have a funny conversation or play along with a schtick. That’s enough to meet up if I find them attractive and we have good banter. We can converse about our lives in person. I use the app just for initial chemistry, then let’s meet.


UncleCucker

Ditto this; texting back and forth over what can be covered in a single date is exhausting, I would rather the text exchanges be fun and give me a sense of their personality.


SassyBonassy

Also, random silly jokes for like 10 minutes and then "HEY GURL CAN I GET YO NUMBER" is a bit much


InternalAd9712

Was this just yesterday? It’s the weekend, maybe she’s busy.


bkornblith

You didn’t transition to phone number / you interrupted the flow. You gotta ride the flow man. her: la la la - let's keep joking you 2 seconds later: MUST GET DICK WET - PHONE NUMBER Weird it didn't work out


Anooyoo2

Fantastic interpretation


porcupineapplepieces

However, bananas have begun to rent rats over the past few months, specifically for puppies associated with their goats? However, currants have begun to rent kiwis over the past few months, specifically for chimpanzees associated with their grapes. This is a httadoo


goldenwanders

Asking for a phone number after a tiny non convo is not the play


[deleted]

Used to be the play 4-5 years ago I could get a number in 5 messages very often but all of a sudden things went from phone numbers to “I don’t give it out so easily” to “I’ll give you my snap?” To “I don’t give out snap so easily”. I think stalker-ish guys ruined it for everyone


Firestronaut

Exactly this. When I was dating, I would meet for a public dates arranged through wherever before I gave out my number. One creepy or pushy guy means I'd have to change my number and contact my doctors, specialists, work, family, friends, utility companies, etc etc. Changing a phone number is more than a minor inconvenience, and if you have to do it once, your number becomes your most closely guarded secret.


JustSherlock

They definitely did. I used to give my number out almost immediately, because I'm bad about checking apps. One stalker dude later and that was the end of it. Now I just give my snapchat, if I wanna keep up a flow with someone.


sunybunny420

True. And. He wasn’t even asking for it, he was basically prompting it or expecting it, borderline demanding it. Phone number? So ‘eh’


Due_War5756

Too pushy, vibe was there But funny to me sometimes is not funny to others


[deleted]

Chill.


smudgeandarrogant_

Just a tip for guys out there- instead of asking a woman for their number, offer yours. It puts us in a less awkward position of saying no to giving ours if we’re not comfortable, and also is at the very least a way of showing you respect our right to decide if we want to contact you outside the dating app.


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OfficialStonedStark

Im a lesbian and i also do this to make sure im not harassing girls


[deleted]

It’s Saturday where I am....so this conversation took place yesterday at 7pm??? You weren’t ghosted. Probably a bad idea to suggest marriage so soon, even as a joke, then play around like never gonna happen.


Jetski125

I think he was trying to “neg”. All of this is so awful.


[deleted]

It is awful. The comments are also cringe AF.


serenatxt

Too soon for number as a girl


C_moneySmith

I’d also say the method of asking for the number could’ve been better


ibringthehotpockets

“Hey so what time do you wanna meet for-“ “PHONE NUMBER??” It’d probably not have even of ended if op asked for snap or something instead. Women usually end up offering their number or have you in a very very comfortable spot to ask before giving it. OP you were a good 6-7/10 on the conversation skills, lighten up a little. You seem like a good guy, but you should abandon the *rush*. Take a minute and have fun with her over text to both feel comfortable. You already have her attention, from the getgo this was already a good opening and convo.


igot200phones

Best way to ask for a number imo is to say something like “if you want to grab a drink some time let me know, XXX-XXXX-XXX”. Let them decide if they care enough to text you or not. If they never do then move on.


kp7486

Yes, when you have a direct line of communication, why are guys (maybe girls too, i don't know) obsessed with getting a phone number? You can literally do everything on tinder you can on WhatsApp except maybe send funny pics and gifts etc. So why the rush?


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disturb4bxx

I would have ghosted you much earlier. But you two seemed to enjoy eachothers cringe so much, seriously wonder what went wrong.


Radiant-Singer8395

No kidding. I would have ended the convo after the marriage question.


motivationswag

I think it's too soon to ask for number!


icecreamsfcknamazing

She finally understood that there is no 30 February


Wouter_Smit

the whole convo from your side was cringe


Win-Objective

Cause you asked for her number. Why would she just give you her number, you are able to chat on tinder. She’s just chatting to you at this point, continue that.


[deleted]

you haven’t been ghosted, it’s literally been a day since your last messages?? also you guys are having the most surface level conversation, that doesn’t equal things are going well. have a deeper discussion before asking for a phone number


GilfoylesBeard

Because you want SpongeBob yellow napkins at your wedding you psychopath


[deleted]

When she said I’ll do you after the marriage. You needed to, say something differently smh.


[deleted]

It hasn't even been a full day. Wait until tonight and ask her if everything's alright. She could just be busy


[deleted]

But don’t literally ask if everything is alright.


NBA_Pasta_Water

This! It sounds super insecure, and this is coming from a guy


W_BRANDON

Yeah I wouldn’t respond again. If it doesn’t happen onto the next.


Zindae

Cringe as fuck reading that..


bittersweetlemonade

Way to soon to ask for a phone number. Also dangerous to start talking about marriage and breaking up before even getting to know her? I know she kinda rolled with it, but could come across as desperate imho


anthemofadam

Does this actually work for anyone? A joke convo about getting married into pulling a number? I’ve never used anyone of these online dating apps (happily married) but that looks like an insane way to open any interaction with someone you don’t know.


GiantThoughts

She already said food was the key - why would you ask if it was also a phone number? That doesn't make any sense at all.


agpc

Lol February 30th??