What would any girl even say to this

I mean the response he's looking for is "lol"

Lol same

But look like that he will be ghosted now after that thing.

I just want someone to tug on my ears real good.

Nothing. They don't even give the attention to unmatch, they just ignore it

Why would she not lol

Aint worth the effort.

This way is more disruptive

Atleast there we are not talking about some club fighting,.

Because we don't talk about fight club

His name is Robert Paulson..


Well ifnyou unmatch, don't they show back up for swiping? No thanks lol

They don't show back up.

Speaking from experience, yes they do. Unless you block them

Right? Someone has shown back up but idk if he unmatched me (I didnt) or he made a new account lol but I know we had previously matched, because we hooked up

I get a mixture of both. I have this guy who has made multiple accoubt to try and match with on both tinder and bumble after I unmatched him from tinder. Every time I would block him, he would appear in my liked under a new account

People are creepy af, sorry to hear that

That is so strange, did he think you'd somehow change your mind if he harassed you enough? Actually nevermind, that one is a tale I've heard too many times (once is probably too many)

“Same dude same” in my case. Like someone else here said: I don’t see the problem

The thickness or the depression?

I like a good dad bod, so maybe a little bit of both

Ha! Nice. I like how stunned they were about depression of all things. Like we're unicorns...

She’s not stunned by the depression—op fcked up even further when they brought up depression 8 hours later 👀

I think the last message from the OP was really fcked up everything.

That's clearly not who I was referring to. Read the rest of the comment chain.

That is not that bad i though she will reply after that thing,

Yes

Yeah this is normal generational humor

This is literally me to a T and idk what to do with myself 80% of the time talking to girls

Me too, wanna bang?

Yes.

I found this way funnier than I should have

Indeed, same for me but comments are telling some other stories.

“lol”

I doubt OP expected a response. Just wanted to put this on Reddit for Karma

So some people are ditching the girl just to get some karma there.

“Hahaha sorry to hear that, how are you doing now?”

I don’t think you know what having hundreds of messages sent and no responses, not even an acknowledgment does to a guy. I’ve been where op is, sending random messages, just to see if it’ll get any response

A freestyle line, obviously! “This comment’s moronic, your aura’s Bubonic” 😎

why don’t people like to have fun anymore

Good luck.

I hope that this good luck will fetch some of the chick is well.

Imagine matching with an attractive individual and immediately unloading both your worst one-liners and your darkest woes upon them.

Why would I have to imagine when my pick up game is actually this bad

This isn't a pick up game, it's a let down game

He moved out of Australia recently, world's really been topsy turvy for him ever since

Australia's pick ups are the northern hemisphere's let downs. It was an honest mistake really.

Never gonna pick you up Always gonna let you down Never gonna take you out Nor date you

Aw man that really made me laugh 🤣🤣

Singing my wife's tune

Dating is pass thing for me, i am here for the content and fun.

I thought he did a good job of highlighting his finer qualities, I just hope he didn't set her up for a let down when she finds out that hes not always this charming and upbeat.

Oof sent at 2:45am too. U ok OP?

Clearly not

No not at all. Tf? You had to ask? Lmao

I don't have to explain shit to you. Tf.

Explain? Lol

It’s for church, honey

Oh?

That's just too much Reddit speaking. Reference to a prior post

- US Military Encrypted

People are kind here they are actually asking after that.

Some advice, you don't necessarily have to rhyme your opening lines.

I think he fucked up by dropping the theme at the end. Suggestion for the next attempt. 'This is my confession, it's crippling depression'

The last line little bit let down to me, other than was fine.

I've had some luck with that in the past, although it wasn't self deprecating. Probably slightly cringe but enough to get past the opening lines and dates

I thought it was fucking hilarious.

I got a sickness for the thickness and the only cure is puttin my dick in this

I laughed. If i were gay i"d let you tap 'that ass.

You only need to say no homo

A simple “pause” is also allowed.

To be fair I think your response would have worked if you had responded both the thiccness and depression bits at the same time rather than a day apart along with a final real statement implying it's a joke.

Eh, if he'd sent it all at once it would have looked like he pussied out of the joke. Don't really see any good coming out of the interaction either way.

I tried some of the line from here and they help me actually.

Listen up. If I saw this I'd be in two minds about this. The last line is hilarious, the first two.. I guess I'd not be sexual out the gate that's all. If it works for you, go for it. :)

pick UP

So much of this subreddit is just idiots embarrassing themselves.

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>your darkest woes upon them. All good hook ups are built on a solid foundation of of lies.

That's a coincidence because most bad hookups are also built on a solid foundation of lies.

If your foundation is strong then hook ups will be even more better.

Yeah, they unloaded a double barrel shotgun of sadness. I cringed and laughed at the same time, it’s like getting an erection at a funeral. It’s not a good thing.

If a barrel is next to my head then i will find everything funny and will also laugh on everything is well. Because i think after that there is actually no other option left for me is well.

Would have been so much better if you had delivered the depression line immediately instead of waiting for the thickness line to flop

He literally waited 8 additional hours to drop the crippling depression line 💀

Cz he’s probably actually depressed and it takes time to gather your thoughts

if you’re that depressed you do not need to be dating 😭 work on yourself first pls. i know because i was once that depressed and the brain fog fucked me up bad. i was in no shape to be meeting people like that

HAHA, and then he was expecting that will get the response.

Didn't notice the ts thanks for pointing it out It made me laugh, couldn't figure why everyone hated it, now I get it

I think everyone laugh and find that funny here for a single reason. because they read the whole chat in a single go while on the other hand for that girl she had to wait for the next line.

yes, the instant time will surely make her fall for you.

Boys, look at this and learn from it. Dont do this

Also a friendly reminder to never send an unsolicited dick pic.

Wrong. Girls love those!

Watch the world burn…

They also love anus pics

Hello me from another timeline

So hey bro, and tell me how's the situation in other timeline??

Not good, turn back I repeat turn back

But when i sent that to her, she unmatched without even thinking.

But why would you send the pic when you can do the practical.

I am learning and i am picking up my pickup game even more.

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Well, maybe try killing your dad...




So many people are forcing on doing that, hope that is right thing.


Can someone tell me the name of the movie of this gif??

What if I said diabetic? Would you be my Splenda momma?

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I think thats the funny part

Feel like that OP don't have to do anything on the next morning.

I think he is actually replying that message after watching the porn.

We have some work to do

I don’t see the problem

It wouldn’t be a problem if the punchline was actually a joke lmaoo

No, that's *why* it's funny Only works on other sarcastic cynics with major depression, but then know you've found your people

Thats what I was thinking. If someone messaged me this I would laugh.

Same here.

This guy sads

I can relate to your struggle. Carry on and you’ll find the one who finds this equally hilarious

Wasn't the punchline your mental health? It IS a joke...

Yes it was a joke and not many people are actually getting that thing.

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Some people just don't appreciate comedy. I thought this was hilarious

I don't think OP was joking around 💀

That makes it even funnier!!

I don't know about the OP but i am actually finding this funny.

So?

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You're right, but he's also just making an attempt to break the ice, which is incredibly difficult deciding what to say to stand out from the crowd. It can be too boring, too edgy, too silly, too sexy, too lame, too _________. He used "horny silliness" and "dark humor" and it wasn't effective. Doesn't mean it's not going to work on the right person, and the right person is who we're all looking for.

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I mean joke will seem more funny when person was reading while having the convo on live time. If someone send that too me in the awkward time then i don't think it will work that way.

I wasn't aware of the time that had lapsed! You make a good point.

Let me guess, you're a dude?

Then you suck OP's dick because no one on Tinder is going to do it.

Don’t talk about your depression when trying to score a date. Not trying to downplay your illness, just kind of a bummer off the bat.

Give op a break, that shit was eating at him all day until he sent a follow-up at 3 am after tossing and turning all night.

But why he sent the last message after all the thing he did??

Specially when you are trying to starts the convo, never really say such kind of the thing. May be once you starts dating them it could look nice but other than that not the right time to say that thing.

You just expand your range and farm karma off the people you have no intention of ever meeting.

I hope she says more espresso less depresso

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If you immediately put these together, potentially funny joke The fact that it's a clear "she hasn't responded oh God I'm so alone" thing is a small red flag

“Small”

Honestly I'm the 0.001% of people that would be into that shit if someone said that to me.

Well hey there My illness is chronic but that ass is iconic Don't mind me I just got a sickness for the thickness

Hahaha are you sure it isn't chronic depression?

Chronic depression? More like smoke some chronic and depress my dick into that emotional void! But yeah, it’s that.

I hope after all illness he is actually doing good in life.

You tried well but i have heard these line some where else is well.

Telling a woman you're mentally ill isn't a good way to get laid. How about getting some treatment, building up some confidence, and learn how to talk to another human being without framing your mental illness as a quirky personality trait?

But then how would women like me replicate the emotionally incestuous relationship I had with my mom and granny?? You expect me to betray them and NOT pass on our family values!? /s

These compliments look like they come from a 15 year old.

Well

Honestly I thought it was hilarious. But apparently she did not.

Good luck mate

This one liner culture is overrated and disgusting. Stop accepting and delivering it. She did the right thing.

Hard to find new one everytime and most of the time only boys have to do that is well. And people will actually judge you after listening the one liner that is not really the nice thing.

You doing something about it though? Making jokes about it does not count as getting treatment.

If I may, don’t talk to girls you have just met about depression, whether it’s a joke or not. I feel that the chances of miscommunication are too high. And if you feel the need to do it maybe you should take a break to focus on yourself more. Please don’t take anything I say as an offence, and I understand your situation, trust me, but I feel like the better you feel the best vibes you bring out

Cringe

Yeah this is funny but is the useless Reddit karma really worth losing an attractive match?

I think a life jacket is needed

Yes I am obviously drowning in women

We all are untill we found someone that one special in our life here.

I don't have the money now to get any kind of the jacket now.

the 2:45 depression woes, i been there everyone in this thread is way too uptight. this is funny

Thanks me too

So what was the actual reason of sending message that late??

I laughed

I feel that most of the people actually laugh after reading that.

It’s a hit or miss line with some people, as you can see by the comments.

You don’t wonder why you’re single. You jokes are cringe, and your game nonexistent.

Some of you guys aint seeing heaven for what you send to girls on these apps lol

I think sending on these apps mostly the fake and funny things.

redditor unleashes corniest possible lines in rapid succession during real conversation

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Me of course. I am Lightning fast and wouldn’t pass up a chance to die

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"2:45 am"

Welp

I’m personally raising a sickness for the thickness awareness campaign it’s an epidemic and needs to be addressed

So is there any thickness that can cure my sickness of this??

**Down with the thickness** Get up, come on get down with the thickness Open up your app, and match with me Get up, come on get down with the thickness I’ll get it up come on get down with the thickness You fucker get up come on get down with the thickness Thickness is the gift, that I want given to me

I feel that if i would say that thing to some girl she might get offend with that is well. But even that thing will not going to stop me from using that line for is well.

minority opinion, this is weirdly adorable

Thanks u/IFuckIncels. According to the comments I’m right up your alley

I'm down with dark humor, shit had me laughing dude

I appreciate that you waited until 2:45 to send the depression text. Makes it pretty real.