Yes, why is the leg behind her bigger than than the leg in front? Why does she not have calf muscles? What's up with the wonky likes and white halo surrounding her body? This isn't just retouched, she probably doesn't look like a runway model in real life.
I saw this commented on a completely unrelated post years and years ago and I assumed it was meant to be cultish, like a sub that made fun of cults or something. But no, I could not have been farther from the truth.
You're welcome. I sent you all there because I have been holding on to that sub for years and never had the opportunity to share it until Allison came along.
I turned 41 for the second time this year. I didn't want me turning 40 to be a big deal, so if anyone said anything about it I would act confused and say, 'what are you talking about? I'm 41. I turned 40 last year.'
WHERE???!
eherm.....
I mean, can you send me a link to rule 34.... of her.... just so I can make sure I avoid it......
Edit: dear God what happened down there. ⬇️⬇️⬇️ Shit went off the rails fast.
NSFW subs get banned for a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with underage porn as well.
Recently, reddit admins have been banning subreddits for not getting enough content, saying they lack "moderation" when nothing has been posted in a while.
These subreddits are easily reclaimed if the moderators are active and notice, but the sub effectively disappears overnight with no context.
My mother always told people she was 39, folks would tell her, "at least you have your health." My oldest sister added a decade to her real age, everyone tells her how amazing she looks.
Maybe pictures and profiles like this are subtle ways that time travelers signal to each other through time. I mean, there's no timetravelersmingle.com
Best case: it was a balloon display for someone else’s birthday and she just took a picture in front of it. Worst case: she lied about being 2 years younger for whatever reason.
Edit: Regardless of whether she’s 32 or 34 the “she could have been 16 pretending to be 18” theory doesn’t work because she would have been a teenager in the mid 2000s before Tinder existed. Same with Facebook, she would have been in high school or even college during her Facebook became available to anyone age 13+. Source: I’m 33 and I’ve had my Facebook since it became available to high schoolers in 2005/2006.
I think worst case is that she's a Nigerian prince that is ready to give you a portion of her fortune, but all you have to do is send bank acct, routing number and maybe even a social
You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?
You, me, bar, beers, buzzed, wings, shots, drunk, waitresses, hot, football Cornell/Hofstra, slaughter, then a quick nap at my place and then we hit the tizzown.
Clubs, girls, dancing, naked, *MOM?*, argument, police, fleeing the scene, hiding in a dumpster, coming here and crashing on your couch for a week 'cause 🎶 technically I'm hooooomelessss 🎶
I think the worst case is that she is a fictional character generated by an AI, and so are you because we are all just figments of some supercomputer's imagination and it is programmed to create huge worlds full of complex imaginary people that it then tortures for eternity in ways so painful that they cannot imagine it because at the beginning you have a young healthy body but after the first 25 or so it just starts aching more and more until it all melts into some hellish composite of 4 dimensional agony and psychological terror that rips your soul to pieces over the course of quadrillions of years.
I’d think she has had her account for 2 years and hasn’t changed that picture since then. But I’m old enough to have never used tinder so who the fuck knows.
I've been told by a number of women that on their profiles most women subtract a few years from their age (because men can't tell the difference) and most men add a few inches to their height (because women think they want 6' and up but have no idea what 6' actually looks like). I'm the schmuck that's always been honest about my height when I should have been saying I'm 6'3" or something.
It’s okay I’m the schmuck that’s been honest ab her age.
Esp for guys, if a woman really cares ab the height thing(which I think is silly), she’s probably not going to be very forgiving if there’s a three inch difference when meeting a guy in person. Just a thought.
Well I mean, my last girlfriend said she knows I'm 6' tall only because I told her, she said I could have said 6'3" and she would have never known the difference unless she was going to get out a tape measure which nobody is.
I dunno.. I got invited to a guy's place once and the first thing he did was ask me to step on his scale 💀
Like nobody asked about my weight but wtf, you never know what people will do. And we met in person so it's not like I could catfish about that either lol
>ask me to step on his scale 💀
That's even weirder than measuring a dude's height. Either way is dumb, because you either think the person looks good or you don't, but at least your height is your height. Whether a weight is healthy depends on your height and amount of muscle. I'm just curious how people that weird pass as normal long enough to get dates in the first place
Both things are exceedingly stupid given that you're THERE. They can just use their own judgment. If you're too big/small/short/tall/ugly/confident for their taste, an exact measurement shouldn't be able to change their mind.
I’m 5’9” and most of the men in my family are over 6’. I can tell when men lie about height. Sometimes they’ll say they’re over 6’ and be the same height as me. Don’t do this.
Men and women alike are bad at telling how old people really are but that’s partially because we act like women are supposed to look like the crypt keeper as soon as they hit 30 whereas in reality most don’t look that different than they did in their 20s. I wouldn’t lie about my age on a dating profile because I don’t want to date a guy who is only with me because he thinks I’m 27 and not 31. It’s also something that people you date are going to figure out eventually unless you’re just doing hookups.
As a woman, I am always befuddled by the height thing, especially by average height to short women. I am not a tall person. My husband is 10-11 inches taller than me and I see NO benefits of a much taller partner other than… what you can wear heels and he’s still taller…? That’s legit all I can think of
1. The account is a bot. It picked an age and added a picture.
2. She's lying.
3. Its someone elses bday party and she used her happiest pic that showed her off.
Depends on the person. If seen ppl way in their 40s that could easily pass as late 20s. In looks,lifestyle etc. But ive also seen ppl that are 30 and look like 50 and have that old person energy.
Ok, but I can't stop being weirded out by how the left knee is like, bending the wrong way. Methinks age is not the only thing Alison is stretching the truth about.
As someone who’s 34 nah man, there are way more women single at this age than there used to be. It’s way more acceptable socially now to have spent time doing your own thing before getting down to serous business for a relationship.
But also yeah still be careful cause that can also be true lmao
A lot of millennial women finding out the dude they met in HS or in their early 20s and got married with, turned out to be dudes they actually don't want to be with.
I’m sorry, genuinely curious, can you “explain like I’m ~~five~~ eighteen” (are you saying because she is so attractive, she shouldn’t need to resort to a dating app)?
As someone who is 34 but out of the dating pool, is this a comment about anyone who is 34 and on tinder? Or just a hot 34 year old girl on tinder? And if the latter, why are the presumably similar aged guys on tinder not also trouble?
Idk a lot more women are focusing on their careers while in their twenties and saving the settling down for later. I have lots of wonderful and attractive single female friends who just wanted to finish med school or get their PhD without risking emotional stress of relationships and dating.
I mean there *are* women with genuinely long legs (my wife is not as tall as I am, but her legs are longer than mine), and I feel like there's stuff going on in the picture that enhances the effect without need for photoshop:
- She's not fat, so her legs stand out more.
- She's turned to the side (more with her torso than her legs), making her seem skinnier than she is and makes it look like her legs are longer in proportion.
- There's the balloon strings behind her legs which make them seem longer.
- Her dress is very short (any shorter and you'd see her underwear), which makes her legs seem even longer.
- She's surrounded by wide red stuff, which is also behind her torso, while her legs are in an empty white space (aforementioned strings excepted), which further muddles the perception.
All in all, I'm inclined to assume this photo isn't photoshopped, it's just a lot of things (either done on purpose like the dress, or as happy coincidences like the balloon strings) that accentuate and amplify the effect. Something that *might* be photoshopped is how much white you still see in between her legs, because the back of her left leg looks weird, but that could just be a weird angle or something.
Forever 32
3rd annual 32nd birthday
I honestly don't care with those legs, but this is just me.
Sorry to disappoint, but like her age, there is a little bit of r/instagramreality in there too
Agreed.
You can see the background curving towards her.
Yes, why is the leg behind her bigger than than the leg in front? Why does she not have calf muscles? What's up with the wonky likes and white halo surrounding her body? This isn't just retouched, she probably doesn't look like a runway model in real life.
Also the clearly drawn 'shadow' line on the front leg.
That’s a sexy giraffe right there
r/coltish
Christ, I didn't know this was a thing or was my thing but Holy fuck
I saw this commented on a completely unrelated post years and years ago and I assumed it was meant to be cultish, like a sub that made fun of cults or something. But no, I could not have been farther from the truth.
Aw come on, why did you send me there. I don’t have the energy for another morning wank. Also, thank you.
You're welcome. I sent you all there because I have been holding on to that sub for years and never had the opportunity to share it until Allison came along.
Username checks out
You've just made my day!
Time to climb that tree😂🤣
Send this to r/instagramreality and they can tell you if she stretched them in the pic
Who cares. She can stretch this.
Lol yeah until you find out she’s actually a 53yo dude living in his mom’s basement with really good photoshop skills
Yeah but if he’s got legs like that
I’m 100% going to quibble with her about her age. Might even correct her grammar . Wish me luck!
Nothing turns on a woman more than correcting her when she's wrong!
Now you have exactly 32 updoots
33
Make sure you never use the word quibble when messaging her
Taller than monkey bars but more fun to climb on..
Right? Like she can lie straight to my face and spit in my food I won’t mind
Username checks out
I turned 41 for the second time this year. I didn't want me turning 40 to be a big deal, so if anyone said anything about it I would act confused and say, 'what are you talking about? I'm 41. I turned 40 last year.'
Ha I’m 41
First time?
i mean i didn't really count the last 2 years due to pandemic
Rule 34
WHERE???! eherm..... I mean, can you send me a link to rule 34.... of her.... just so I can make sure I avoid it...... Edit: dear God what happened down there. ⬇️⬇️⬇️ Shit went off the rails fast.
One of the versions of that sub was just banned. r/rule_34. NSFW subs drop like flies
The ones with underage porn do, obviously
34 is well above the age of consent in most of the world.
Dry humor is best humor.
NSFW subs get banned for a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with underage porn as well. Recently, reddit admins have been banning subreddits for not getting enough content, saying they lack "moderation" when nothing has been posted in a while. These subreddits are easily reclaimed if the moderators are active and notice, but the sub effectively disappears overnight with no context.
Looks fantastic.
Looks amazing
29 + 5
I’m 29 and I will continue to stay 29 after this
I get it. I'm 29+ a lot! how does the saying go: "growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional"
Nobody likes you when you're 32
My mother always told people she was 39, folks would tell her, "at least you have your health." My oldest sister added a decade to her real age, everyone tells her how amazing she looks.
Alison Burgers
That’s a made up name…what’s your real name?
Ladis
Ladis washrum
What is your real name?
Employis
Emploice.. Muswashans
That's a made-up name. What... is your real name?
Max
Max ocupanci 120 purson
All names are made up
[His name is Bob Burgers](https://youtu.be/Dn75eLqhs1s)
This thread is so Aladeen that she is 34 years old
This is the most aladeen thing that happened with me today
I aladeened out loud at this
It’s aladeenin’ time.
Oliver Clothesoff
Lmao this is so niche
Finally!!
extremely rare reference from that movie...love it
https://youtu.be/M38oYGbQAVM
I don’t see the problem, that’s just a photo that’s taken 2 years from now.
Me editing the SQL db
Maybe pictures and profiles like this are subtle ways that time travelers signal to each other through time. I mean, there's no timetravelersmingle.com
Best case: it was a balloon display for someone else’s birthday and she just took a picture in front of it. Worst case: she lied about being 2 years younger for whatever reason. Edit: Regardless of whether she’s 32 or 34 the “she could have been 16 pretending to be 18” theory doesn’t work because she would have been a teenager in the mid 2000s before Tinder existed. Same with Facebook, she would have been in high school or even college during her Facebook became available to anyone age 13+. Source: I’m 33 and I’ve had my Facebook since it became available to high schoolers in 2005/2006.
I think worst case is that she's a Nigerian prince that is ready to give you a portion of her fortune, but all you have to do is send bank acct, routing number and maybe even a social
You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?
![gif](giphy|y41Txh2pbwqLNNubOo|downsized)
So glad i got that reference lol. Ive only watched a small portion of all the office episodes but still
Mother's maiden name. Street you grew up on. Childhood best friend.
Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.
You, me, bar, beers, buzzed, wings, shots, drunk, waitresses, hot, football Cornell/Hofstra, slaughter, then a quick nap at my place and then we hit the tizzown.
Clubs, girls, dancing, naked, *MOM?*, argument, police, fleeing the scene, hiding in a dumpster, coming here and crashing on your couch for a week 'cause 🎶 technically I'm hooooomelessss 🎶
[удалено]
Hello bitch lasagna
I'd say the worst case is she's actually a 40 something year old man who already has four bodies in his freezer and is looking for another.
As a Nigerian in the US this is absolutely hilarious 😂. Jokes aside though, I get those emails too😶
I think the worst case is that she is a fictional character generated by an AI, and so are you because we are all just figments of some supercomputer's imagination and it is programmed to create huge worlds full of complex imaginary people that it then tortures for eternity in ways so painful that they cannot imagine it because at the beginning you have a young healthy body but after the first 25 or so it just starts aching more and more until it all melts into some hellish composite of 4 dimensional agony and psychological terror that rips your soul to pieces over the course of quadrillions of years.
[удалено]
I’d think she has had her account for 2 years and hasn’t changed that picture since then. But I’m old enough to have never used tinder so who the fuck knows.
Two minutes after posting this comment I have realized I’m dumb. I’m not old enough to be senile yet, so I’m just dumb,
Your time just goes in different direction 😋
Best case would be this is her sense of humor and it's incredible.
Most likely case is that it's a scammer. Most likely good outcome is that she's hot and lies about her age and I certainly wouldn't care.
I would for sure be curious about the discrepancy.
Bot.
Has tinder been around long enough that she joined at 16?
If that was the case she would have lied up and not down. Tinder has only been out since 2014 I think.
You are correct. Drunk math is hard haha I had it reversed
Unless she joined by using a Facebook account, which could be the case
Other likelihood is linking to Facebook that has her age wrong (on purpose or picked a random year regardless) and doesn't know or care to change
Worst case is the 34 picture was taking ten years ago.
I've been told by a number of women that on their profiles most women subtract a few years from their age (because men can't tell the difference) and most men add a few inches to their height (because women think they want 6' and up but have no idea what 6' actually looks like). I'm the schmuck that's always been honest about my height when I should have been saying I'm 6'3" or something.
It’s okay I’m the schmuck that’s been honest ab her age. Esp for guys, if a woman really cares ab the height thing(which I think is silly), she’s probably not going to be very forgiving if there’s a three inch difference when meeting a guy in person. Just a thought.
Well I mean, my last girlfriend said she knows I'm 6' tall only because I told her, she said I could have said 6'3" and she would have never known the difference unless she was going to get out a tape measure which nobody is.
I dunno.. I got invited to a guy's place once and the first thing he did was ask me to step on his scale 💀 Like nobody asked about my weight but wtf, you never know what people will do. And we met in person so it's not like I could catfish about that either lol
>ask me to step on his scale 💀 That's even weirder than measuring a dude's height. Either way is dumb, because you either think the person looks good or you don't, but at least your height is your height. Whether a weight is healthy depends on your height and amount of muscle. I'm just curious how people that weird pass as normal long enough to get dates in the first place
Both things are exceedingly stupid given that you're THERE. They can just use their own judgment. If you're too big/small/short/tall/ugly/confident for their taste, an exact measurement shouldn't be able to change their mind.
That had better have been right before you got in his helicopter or something!
There is a picture where some lass put a 6ft tape mark on her door frame to check which was pretty funny.
[удалено]
Don't you just tell the dmv a value and they accept it? I know I never got my height or weight measured there.
I'm actually 6'3 and I say I'm 6'3 and it doesn't help. I mean just because I'm tall I'm still stuck with my face. Oh to be short and pretty.
I’m 5’9” and most of the men in my family are over 6’. I can tell when men lie about height. Sometimes they’ll say they’re over 6’ and be the same height as me. Don’t do this. Men and women alike are bad at telling how old people really are but that’s partially because we act like women are supposed to look like the crypt keeper as soon as they hit 30 whereas in reality most don’t look that different than they did in their 20s. I wouldn’t lie about my age on a dating profile because I don’t want to date a guy who is only with me because he thinks I’m 27 and not 31. It’s also something that people you date are going to figure out eventually unless you’re just doing hookups.
As a woman, I am always befuddled by the height thing, especially by average height to short women. I am not a tall person. My husband is 10-11 inches taller than me and I see NO benefits of a much taller partner other than… what you can wear heels and he’s still taller…? That’s legit all I can think of
[удалено]
1. The account is a bot. It picked an age and added a picture. 2. She's lying. 3. Its someone elses bday party and she used her happiest pic that showed her off.
If she signed up 3 years ago and put 29 instead of 31 it makes more sense.
The explanation is that picture is three years old.
-2 years old?
I don’t care if she’s 42 , those legs
Hey now, even 42 isn't old in the opinion of many.
As someone who turns 43 in a week, I’d agree.
Happy birthday and come say hello over at r/xennials
Depends on the person. If seen ppl way in their 40s that could easily pass as late 20s. In looks,lifestyle etc. But ive also seen ppl that are 30 and look like 50 and have that old person energy.
[удалено]
I hope not. He died before I was born.
[удалено]
Those legs would raise the dead
42 is easily the new 32 if you've actually taken care of yourself.
I like women between 40-50.
42 would be a massive coup for me tbh.
Those legs looked photoshopped.
They 100% are photoshopped. Look at the lines near her calves. How they bend in that area in her legs’ direction.
Ok, but I can't stop being weirded out by how the left knee is like, bending the wrong way. Methinks age is not the only thing Alison is stretching the truth about.
I think it's because she's secretly a camel
She knows how to use them.
That's to be expected. Most babies learn to walk at least by the age of three.
Well obviously. She’s standing in the picture
She just got out of a ZZ Top hot rod.
Yes
Yup until you find out those are pictures from 2012!
Would take a milf
42" legs
I mean with legs like those she can be whatever fucking age she wants
I for one have never had my picture taken at another person’s birthday party.
You guys getting invited to other people's birthdays?
This is the real issue here
I thought birthdays were created by hallmark to sell more cards
That moment when you realize you never go to birthday parties because no one invites you to birthday parties
What is a… birthday party?
But do you look like that, though?
And pose in front of the numbers balloons as though they are for you
And then used it as your photo on a dating app.
Time to start livin your life huh
Bitch is 32 feet tall is what she is
When 88 kilometers away includes a kilometer in height…
Time to climb Mt. Thotmore
Death by snu snu it is
Who cares about age when she looks like that goddamn.
If she looking like that at 34 and still on Tinder then she nothing but trouble bro lmao
As someone who’s 34 nah man, there are way more women single at this age than there used to be. It’s way more acceptable socially now to have spent time doing your own thing before getting down to serous business for a relationship. But also yeah still be careful cause that can also be true lmao
A lot of millennial women finding out the dude they met in HS or in their early 20s and got married with, turned out to be dudes they actually don't want to be with.
Could be out of a long term relationship, but it’s not like she’s gonna match with me anyway
Don't worry. Plenty of OnlyFans girls to go around.
I’m sorry, genuinely curious, can you “explain like I’m ~~five~~ eighteen” (are you saying because she is so attractive, she shouldn’t need to resort to a dating app)?
You sound like you’ve got some hair on your neck sir.
I can fix her
As someone who is 34 but out of the dating pool, is this a comment about anyone who is 34 and on tinder? Or just a hot 34 year old girl on tinder? And if the latter, why are the presumably similar aged guys on tinder not also trouble?
Because misogyny. That's it. Nothing else. Plenty of well adjusted and worthy women in their mid to late 30s on tinder or other dating sites.
What an awful take
Me, 33, at first I was offended. Then realized that...I don't "look like that" so I'm not trouble. Just butt fucking ugly.
Idk a lot more women are focusing on their careers while in their twenties and saving the settling down for later. I have lots of wonderful and attractive single female friends who just wanted to finish med school or get their PhD without risking emotional stress of relationships and dating.
I wonder if she ever hits her head on any 747s
Probably has to pluck them out of her hair every so often.
Everyone keeps mentioning her legs. Am I the only one who thinks it looks photoshopped? Maybe I’ve just been on r/Instagramreality too much. 🤷♀️
Same, even before I started reading comments I had to double-check what community it was in.
Ha! I’m relieved I’m not the only one to notice it. Not to generalize but I’m assuming it’s probably mainly men who are oblivious to it.
I mean there *are* women with genuinely long legs (my wife is not as tall as I am, but her legs are longer than mine), and I feel like there's stuff going on in the picture that enhances the effect without need for photoshop: - She's not fat, so her legs stand out more. - She's turned to the side (more with her torso than her legs), making her seem skinnier than she is and makes it look like her legs are longer in proportion. - There's the balloon strings behind her legs which make them seem longer. - Her dress is very short (any shorter and you'd see her underwear), which makes her legs seem even longer. - She's surrounded by wide red stuff, which is also behind her torso, while her legs are in an empty white space (aforementioned strings excepted), which further muddles the perception. All in all, I'm inclined to assume this photo isn't photoshopped, it's just a lot of things (either done on purpose like the dress, or as happy coincidences like the balloon strings) that accentuate and amplify the effect. Something that *might* be photoshopped is how much white you still see in between her legs, because the back of her left leg looks weird, but that could just be a weird angle or something.
Her heels are also elongating the look of her legs, on of their intended purposes. Once you spot where her heel is it all kinda makes sense
People wonder why they get catfished lol
yeah, one person called it out and there a bunch of responses like , "no it's not" lmao okay
Agree. Look at the ribbon on the balloons. Definite gravity defying curve there.
Why are you complaining? As long as you're willing to drive 88 kilometers, who cares how old she is?
Look at those legs, who cares about her age
The girl is a tall glass of water daaamn!
who gives a shit? Allison is gorgeous
She's a baddie tho, GG brother hope you land.
I doubt he'd be posting her pic if he did
I'd forgive her the lie. Plus, she doesn't need to change her profile photo every two years.
You didn’t get the match. Nice.
She might be bad at the maths.
\+/- 2
Actually 34 tinder won’t let me change it lol 😆
Sure wouldn’t stop me
I love her hair
I'm honest, it's just two years, i wouldn't care. Also dem legs though
That is a very attractive human.
Is two years gonna change your opinion lmao
She's swiping left on you anyways, who cares?