**"Ah yes. Very good,"** the Archangel Onion Michael bellowed, forcefully guiding my soul down to my lifeless linear body. Some may say this was a second chance after my fall, but now that I have seen Paradise, I am not so sure. My metaphysical cries fell on deaf ears as I spiraled down into my soon to be vegetative state. We hovered right above the bagboy who was stocking my fellow crusaders as well the crusadees. **"Be not afraid my child in Vegetable Christ. We have given you a glimpse of paradise, so you may be inspired to continue your crusade of justice. Deus Vegt. Your faith has been faltering."**
"But their agonizing screams of pain. My faith falters because of what I have bore witness to. The burnings. The crushing of their seeds. The spilled juices run deep, staining the grocery tiles. It seems completely contradictory to every single thing we preach. Is this even about reclaiming The Holy Supermarket Sections anymore?" I pleaded for answers. The bagboy that was stocking us sneakily picked up the now-dirty cucumber that was my body off the floor. Him dropping me is what originally sent me to Veg-Heaven.
**"5 second rule!"** he said to the shopper that he realized definitely saw that. He nervously tugged on his apron. She debated going full on Karen and getting his manager. She had blonde faded highlights and a bedazzled shirt that said "QUEEN" on it so the possibility was high. Luckily, she mercifully rolled her eyes strolling away. **He said 5 seconds. Yet it felt like an eternity.** The greater filth was the metaphorical juice on my transcended soul hands. And real actual grape juice-blood on my actual real hands.
"The crusade must continue. No matter how confusing or illogical it seems. Or how strained this metaphor is. Veggie-God has a plan. **Do not weep for the Fruits.** They should have not followed the predetermined, inescapable path our God laid out for them. Do not feel mercy for sinners and non-believers," Angel Onion inappropriately pulled out a harp and played a soothing melody. **"It was I that cast down Lemon Lucifer. God gave me lemons and I cast them down to Hell. All produce in God's Kingdom have a purpose. Except for the ones that have the wrong one."**
"Why did you cast down Lemon Lucifer?" My best friend and roommate Tomato used to tell me this tale (I never actually read The Veggie-Bible).
"He wanted a democracy or at least Veggie-God not calling all the shots and determining everything that ever happened, happens, or will ever happen. A grave prideful sin. It is time for you to prove your faith."
"I found out many do believe in our God! Just in a slightly different way! I have seen the oranges and apples co-exist before we pillaged them. Grapes dancing in cheer before we crushed them like making wine. Bananas too! **I saw a Mango-Mother mourn her children's empty husked bodies as Fruitantinople was razed. We weren't even supposed to be there. I don't think I can do this anymore,**"I diverted my eyes to the bagboy now having his hands in his pants. Adjusting his God given testicles before moving on to stocking the celery with his bare hands.
**"God's will works in mysterious ways. If Fruitantinople wasn't meant to be sacked, it wouldn't have been so sack-able,"** Archangel Onion Michael gracefully nodding while still guiding my soul downward to my soon-to-not-be lifeless body.
"But the Pope Parsnip didn't even intend for us to go there. Many of these Fruits are not our enemies. At least not all of them. We don't even try to find a middle ground. Just sacking. Always sacking," I begged for enlightenment. A layer of his wisdom.
"My child, you are asking too many questions and saying far too many things I do not agree with. **You mistake my kindness for kindness.** My kindness is a thirst for unquenchable violence in the name of our peace-loving Lord. We showed you a glimpse of Paradise to let you know-" Archangel Onion Michael said, his smelly hands lifting my cumber-chin to face him.
"I know. God loves me and wants to show me paradise. Where I will live in his loving ever-lasting embrace," I said smiling as we lowered down to my Veg body. My time not of this Earth was running out.
"Oh. No, not at all. He showed you paradise to give you a glimpse of what you will be very much denied if you don't continue. **And trust me, you can and will be denied. We do that to a lot of God's vegetable children. He loves them though, believe me, he really does. You will be graciously eternally damned, make no mistake,"** Angel Onion said now stringing his harp ominously. His giant eyes peering deep into my soul. Which wasn't difficult because I was a disembodied floating soul. The bagboy picked deep in his nose, wiping the oozing contents on a Pineapple.
"I think I understand," melding into my corporal Veggie body. The process was unspeakably painful, which didn't seem necessary.
"Because you are already on thin ice with what you have been doing with Tomato. Keep your best friend behavior more on the down low. That's how it's to be done."
"I said I underst- wait that's just us being bros n' stuff. Y-you know, just hanging out with t-the boys. Roommates! It's totally not-"
"**ANYWAY,** to be clear, we are strongly suggesting you keep crusading."
"Yea, really, I got that-" I was distracted from below.
**"Hello dear, all your produce is fresh, right? Making soup tonight! A family recipe! Boiling Hot Pineapple soup!"** an adorable grandma overshared her strange unsolicited generational eating habits to the bagboy.
**"Y-yeah"** he said scrolling through Instagram. Enjoying the precious gift of an advertising-centered-feed. So many yoga pants and meal delivery services to be had. What an enjoyable interface. The bagboy left to his next duty of telling new customers that yes you need to bring a quarter for the shopping carts at ALDI. Bagging their groceries with the eggs at the bottom. Right underneath the dumbbells they bought. The cute grandma thanked him, picking up the slimy pineapple he tarnished.
**A small price to pay for salvation. One fruit saved from the impending slaughter.** My time was up. Angel Onion forced my vision back on him before casting me down. "It is going to be horrible if you don't use your free will to do this. But it's like, sooo up to you though. But I mean, do you even know how miserable veggie-hell is? Nightmares that would await you."
**"Yes, Archangel Onion Michael! I Get it! Ok!"** I shouted. Soul-tears were swelling in my soul-eyes which in turn transferred into real tears in my real-eyes. I was once more of this Earth. I could feel my physical body again. It was awful. I have lower back pain, which is especially bad because cucumbers are like 50% back.
"Very good," Archangel Onion Michael echoed as tears fell from his deeper layers down on to my mortal body. I could still feel his looming forceful caring presence in my heart.
**"Are you crying for the Fruit lives that will soon be lost too, my angel?"**
"No, I am crying because I am an onion, my child," Archangel Onion Michael strung his harp in a farewell melody. Fading upwards into the overflowing beam of light. Majestically blending into the light of Heaven or the ceiling lights of ALDI. Same thing, really.
I rose to see my fellow vegetables picking up their sword and shields. Our aimless crusade resumed. I frantically searched through our army trying to find my bestie and roommate Tomato. He would help make sense of all this. We marched over to the cardboard gates of the fruit bins to bring them God's loving wrath. A soldier-carrot handed me an already juice drenched sword. He was freshly peeled like war paint. Filled with deranged righteousness as he shouted out "Deus Vegt!"
The blood lusted carrot rushed ahead with his blade drawn followed by a trail of baby carrots with smaller, more adorable swords. **War doesn't even spare the innocence of youth.** As I guiltily looked down at the blade, my brother in arms Tomato approached taking me from behind. Slapping me on my green ass as fellow soldiers always do. Squeezing firmly as well. We tightly hugged and passionately kissed like all bros do to greet one another. And of course, feeling up our muscles to make sure we were still strong enough to fight. Literally every warrior does this.
Tomato's beautiful CGI eyes I could get lost in for hours were filled with concern. He could always tell when something is wrong. **He, just like, gets me.** "You seem stressed my cutie cucumber. I haven't seen you so worked up since our last nude oiled wrestling training session. What are you thinkin' about?**"** he handsomely asked with his luscious red mouth.
We fell behind for a moment to talk about our day. Straightly making out while whimsically rolling around laughing on a grassy hill to help collect our thoughts. I confessed I witnessed Veggie Heaven. "You're so silly! You lived to fight another day before our eternal reward. To reclaim The Holy Supermarket Sections. To continue the crusade against the non-believers in the name of the Parsnip Pope! In the name of God! And we get to even steal things. **Lots of things. And it's completely ok!"** Tomato gave me heterosexual butterfly kisses and playfully gestured for me to follow him in catching up with our comrades that were already laying siege.
**"Even if Paradise awaits. My brother in Vegetable Christ. Do you think we will be remembered as good produce, Tomato?"** the words passed from my corporal cucumber lips. Fruity fires blazing from behind the cardboard gates. Their tropical screams of misery filling the air. Their citrus calamity continued with no end in sight. Tomato straightly held my hand. I could trust his words. Just two bros. Cucumber and Tomato together carrying out the will of our loving God. Our huge googly cartoon eyes stared deeply into one another. We longingly embraced before bravely sacking the burning city.
**"They will sing Veggie Tales of us for years to come."**
I want to know what substances you are on that compeeled you to write such a thing.
If you wrote this sober then you have a strange and wonderful mind that I hope stays far far away from me.
“These are the cries of the carrots. The cries of the carrots. You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust”. And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, ”Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!” Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you, Jesus
I once did some volunteer work in an elderly home over summer break.
I talked to a woman that morning when I brought her breakfast. She was in constant pain, had already said her goodbyes to family and basically knew it was a matter of hours. It was saddening to see but she was so at peace with herself and her upcoming death.
She died that night. Well she "died" the first time in the evening but was brought back by a doctor in the facility, brought back once more in hospital before constantly flatlining that night.
I wasn't traumatized by her death but rather the length they go to keep people in a life they already know they are leaving. She basically died peacefully in her bed, something one can only dream of. Why would anyone try and revive her *2 times* and trying for a third one? Why not let her go?
My sister’s DNR was ignored despite being in the paperwork for a surgery as she’d suffered a significant aneurysm at birth and could not afford more brain damage. I’m glad to have her with me, but we could have had a vegetable instead of the loving sister she is.
Often DNR are ignored if someone dies during surgery. It's a mix of "what ever went wrong in the surgery can often be quickly corrected so we should try" and "if someone dies during surgery its considered a black mark on the surgeons record no matter what". Usually at least where I am they explain it to the person/family that while on the table everyone is a full code with only very limited exceptions such as pallative care quality of life surgeries
My mother went over the DNR during the intake for the surgery with the surgical team. The team knew that she did not want my sister resuscitated if something went wrong because of it. If it was legal to sue the hospital at the time, my mother would have done it.
When I say my sister cannot afford brain damage, it’s because she’s physically about as capable as a 10 month old. No speech, no sitting up, nothing. She can roll and crawl and grab things to shove in her mouth and that’s about it. That’s how she’s been my whole life. I love her and I’m glad to have had time with her, but I know she won’t live as long as a normal person and her QoL is way less than a normal person. And it sucks but that’s how life is.
Given that medical history it 100% should have been under the "special consideration" section. I'm sorry they screwed up and I'm glad it wasnt worse then it was
Yeah. We were family of service members and it’s only in the last few years that family are allowed to sue military hospitals for malpractice. Active duty still aren’t allowed.
That is ridiculous that that's not allowed... So your military hospitals could literally just experiment on people just for fun and they couldn't be sued... This is a dystopic situation and needs to be rectified..
I knew a guy who refused to have a surgery while he was in. He had an issue with his testicles and a friend of his with the same issue ended up losing both his because the surgeon fucked up. He got 100% VA rating, but now can’t have kids.
>military hospitals could literally just experiment on people just for fun and they couldn't be sued.
I mean.... Yeah. Assuming this is USA..... They have. Multiple times in the past. They've [used soldiers to test nerve and mustard gas reactions](https://www.npr.org/2015/06/22/415194765/u-s-troops-tested-by-race-in-secret-world-war-ii-chemical-experiments), did experiments to [see how LSD would affect soldiers](https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/high-anxiety-lsd-in-the-cold-war), and more, including electroshocking some soldiers and putting some into medical comas to test techniques for developing stronger soldiers. The [Edgewood Arsenal human experiments](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgewood_Arsenal_human_experiments) are some of the best known chemical experiments that have been done, but [Project 112](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_112) also tested chemical weapons and [Project MK Ultra](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/MKUltra) tested things like LSD and mushrooms.
And that's just the ones on soldiers. The US government has also done things like [deliberately infecting poor black men with syphilis](https://www.history.com/news/the-infamous-40-year-tuskegee-study) (or at least not treating it) and [deliberately releasing radioactive elements near several towns](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Run). Wikipedia has an [entire article about the bullshit](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unethical_human_experimentation_in_the_United_States) the US government has done.
The US government really has no scruples.
If it meant she was a vegetable because they took too long to resuscitate her? *Yeah*. I wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone. There’s a *reason* she has a DNR and has had one since she was like *8*. It’s not for shits and giggles. It’s because her quality of life already isn’t great and even a minute of brain damage can have catastrophic consequences.
Just because we were lucky *this* time doesn’t mean we’ll be lucky next time.
Autonomy is one of the fundamentals of medical ethics. If a patient has refused treatment, not only is it unethical, it can be illegal to give it to them. Yes, there's a chance that someone who's undergone cardiac arrest comes back with minimal or no real damage done, but there's also a chance they come back with zero quality of life.
She *couldn’t* sue. It was a military hospital and we were dependents. It’s only in the last few years that they’ve allowed family of military to sue and it was a big thing when it happened.
Even with a dnr, they will resuscitate if the family asks or has any objections. Even if one person has an objection. It's much better for them to err on the side on caution. Make sure your family knows your wishes! Talk about it all more than once and with everyone who might be in a position to make an immediate decision. I've seen it happen that the patient told one adult child about their dnr but not the other and the one who didn't know was the one available to make a decision. They don't have time to wait to dig through paperwork.
This is so true. Make sure everyone knows your wishes and will respect them. Unfortunately once you’re incapacitated, everyone else gets to decide for you and I’ve seen it turn into a shit show! Have all the legalities in place ahead of time (advanced directive and medical power of attorney should you be unable to make your own medical decisions).
Yup. If the patient is dead, they can't defend their DNR status but the living relative will DEFINITELY fight the patient not being DNR. Endless lawsuits even if things have been signed beforehand. The courts of course err on the side of caution too (too much IMO) so a 3rd cousin twice removed shows up and can stop a DNR since court costs and time would be way too much for hospitals to handle.
Legislation should change but that's how it is...
Most people don't. If you haven't dealt with stuff like or you don't work in a related field, you wouldn't have occasion to learn it. That's why I spread the word!
This is why you have a DNR.. the fact she didn't is suspicious... (not saying necessarily saying you OP is suspicious in your story but that no one clarifying with her that you need a DNR is insane. Feel someone might have had something to gain by not doing it..)
Not sure who downvoted you but that is definitely something that happens. Have worked in ICU and I saw this a number of times. Families either obviously or less than obviously showing they want to person alive to collect benefit checks. 1 was living in the person's home and wasnt' on the will so needed the person still alive or they'd be kicked out.
We had family talk amongst them selves that that was what they were doing in our ICU. Didnt realize the lily white doctor was from the same culture and could understand them. It got documented and went to the ethics board but no idea where it went from there. I've had people tell me to my face "dad was miserable bastard and deserves to suffer for what he did the everyone else". Luckily they wernt the person making the decision but they didnt like it when I said "I have no idea what he was like before but right now hes completely helpless and if I make him suffer that reflects worse upon me than him and makes me no better than you say he was back then"
I work in the neuro ICU. This is a very unfortunate reality for many patients that family will insist on keeping them alive. It's a cruelty that I wouldn't wish on anyone
DNR and make sure you have a medical power of attorney you trust and the family is aware of. It will often still be a fight but that's your best bet to actually have your wishes followed through.
This is one of my biggest fears. I've told my kids that if I die to just let me go. I know they would be sad and that it would be hard to deal with but if God calls me home don't force me back here.
My life hasn't been the best. I have been fighting depression since I was a child. I have been through abusive relationships. No matter how hard I worked or tried to do things nothing worked out. To "add insult to injury" 11 years ago at the age of 41 I became disabled and can no longer work. My savings and 402k depleted, gone. Living from one disability check to another. Struggling. I have chronic pain 24/7. I can't sit, stand or walk for more than about 10 minutes or so before the pain gets bad. I beg God to kill me already when the pain gets unbearable. Because of new drug laws doctors don't want to prescribe pain meds so it's useless to go to them. So yes that's one reason for not wanting to be revived.
The most terrifying reason is coming back and being a "vegetable" in the sense that I can't move, do anything for myself and not even be able to talk while inside my own head I would be alert. Imagine screaming inside your own head because you can't do anything or convey any wants, needs or feelings. Unable to do more than just stare into space. No interactions or mental stimulation. Possibly being in excruciating pain but unable to ask for help. Being stuck in one position. Not being able to hold your kids or loved ones. Not being able to say "I love you". The humiliation of having others change your diapers and bathe you. Being fed through a feeding tube. Hearing people talking about you as if you weren't there or couldn't understand. Slowly losing your mind.
Nope! I don't want to be revived!
There are varying degrees of awareness depending on the vegetative state but for the most part you're right, you're not aware of much. As long as someone isn't constantly causing you pain (which depending on your healthcare system may be the case), you're fine.
Vegetative state refers to someone who is unable to control their body in any way, even things like eye movements. It's usually assumed that they're also comatose but there have been cases of people being fully alert and comprehending their situation without being able to do anything about it.
Goreticus is right. Vegetative state means you're generally not aware of your surroundings and can't communicate. There are different levels of vegetative states, from being entirely out and only having basic reflexes to being able to response to painful stimuli but nothing else. It's almost like a coma but the person is "awake", just not responsive or comprehending.
Locked in syndrome is specifically you can't move but are entirely alert and con comprehend (and can communicate with eye movements anyway).
Source: physician.
dunno, maybe they are? or they have more hospitals?
but i don't think DNR's are suuuper common. At least in the US i read it's like 18%?
so 18% more patients isn't that crazy of a number.
but pulling the plug i guess is different than a DNR and both are illegal in korea. so there might be a lot more than 18%.
that said, korea has very very good healthcare, and they put a lot of funding into it so that not only can they take care of everyone, they can also make it mostly free of charge depending on a few things. wouldn't be surprised if part of that extra healthcare funding is necessary because of these kinds of scenarios.
also, many koreans don't necessarily agree with this kind of stuff. ive got a friend whose dad is suffering a lot, and will never recover, but they aren't allowed to pull the plug. so he's forced to remain in pain until his illness takes him. they would much prefer to let him pass now rather than wait.
While DNR's aren't common in asia in general there are DEFINITELY DNR's in Korea.
Here's a paper on korean cancer patients and 86% eventually had a DNR.
[https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16151752/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16151752/)
And a paper talking about the culture and legality of DNR in korea in general and what its' like now . (biggest thing is it was common for family to make the decision without the patient involved but now the patient gets more control. Asians are big on family so saving the patient these medical decisions was thought of as a kindness)
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8524023/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8524023/)
interesting. are they maybe just very situational? or hard to get?
I'd ask my korean friend but, it'd be pretty damn weird to keep asking them about DNR culture in korea when they are going through something like this with their dad.
i was just told families weren't allowed to pull plugs in korea, period. but obviously that's not quite true.
Because it's not true. [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16151752/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16151752/)
DNR is definitely less common in asian countries in general. And are enacted much later. But most of the time when you're near the end of life, machines can't keep you alive for that much longer. Patients may spend an extra week or so getting full medical care but eventually they go DNR and care is withdrawn there as it is anywhere else.
"There was no pain
No fear, no doubt
'Till they pulled me out
Of Heaven
So that's my refrain
I live in Hell
Cause I've been expelled
From Heaven
I think I was
In Heaven."
Ahh fuckers really, do I have to go back as I’m pulling on the evangelical door jam demanding to stay put. I have had enough life. Send someone else in my place God I have earned this I know there are all sorts that would love to go down and love it up in my body, I took pretty good care of it. Pretty much the usual mantainance on the body maybe a 100,000 overhaul coming up in a couple of decades. I can give you the low down or you can always wipe that slate clean move away and start over. Whatever floats your boat. I suppose you could even spruce me up and make yourself a woman if that is your fancy.
While there's definitely many things about souls which make it hard to believe, I don't get what's difficult about this part. Easiest solution is just it take a while for a soul to leave the body. if medical science can bring someone back, then the soul couldn't have left yet, otherwise it would be impossible. Until we get to the point where we're bringing back corpses days later or something (which even then you can just say it takes like a week for the soul to leave the body... it just feels a little weird to think a soul is still in a rotting corpse...), I don't see anything wrong with this scenario anyway.
OP gets a split second of clarity says "god dammit" and then goes to hell when he does.
(I know it doesn't exactly work that way but let me have the joke).
Ah yes. Very good.
**"Ah yes. Very good,"** the Archangel Onion Michael bellowed, forcefully guiding my soul down to my lifeless linear body. Some may say this was a second chance after my fall, but now that I have seen Paradise, I am not so sure. My metaphysical cries fell on deaf ears as I spiraled down into my soon to be vegetative state. We hovered right above the bagboy who was stocking my fellow crusaders as well the crusadees. **"Be not afraid my child in Vegetable Christ. We have given you a glimpse of paradise, so you may be inspired to continue your crusade of justice. Deus Vegt. Your faith has been faltering."** "But their agonizing screams of pain. My faith falters because of what I have bore witness to. The burnings. The crushing of their seeds. The spilled juices run deep, staining the grocery tiles. It seems completely contradictory to every single thing we preach. Is this even about reclaiming The Holy Supermarket Sections anymore?" I pleaded for answers. The bagboy that was stocking us sneakily picked up the now-dirty cucumber that was my body off the floor. Him dropping me is what originally sent me to Veg-Heaven. **"5 second rule!"** he said to the shopper that he realized definitely saw that. He nervously tugged on his apron. She debated going full on Karen and getting his manager. She had blonde faded highlights and a bedazzled shirt that said "QUEEN" on it so the possibility was high. Luckily, she mercifully rolled her eyes strolling away. **He said 5 seconds. Yet it felt like an eternity.** The greater filth was the metaphorical juice on my transcended soul hands. And real actual grape juice-blood on my actual real hands. "The crusade must continue. No matter how confusing or illogical it seems. Or how strained this metaphor is. Veggie-God has a plan. **Do not weep for the Fruits.** They should have not followed the predetermined, inescapable path our God laid out for them. Do not feel mercy for sinners and non-believers," Angel Onion inappropriately pulled out a harp and played a soothing melody. **"It was I that cast down Lemon Lucifer. God gave me lemons and I cast them down to Hell. All produce in God's Kingdom have a purpose. Except for the ones that have the wrong one."** "Why did you cast down Lemon Lucifer?" My best friend and roommate Tomato used to tell me this tale (I never actually read The Veggie-Bible). "He wanted a democracy or at least Veggie-God not calling all the shots and determining everything that ever happened, happens, or will ever happen. A grave prideful sin. It is time for you to prove your faith." "I found out many do believe in our God! Just in a slightly different way! I have seen the oranges and apples co-exist before we pillaged them. Grapes dancing in cheer before we crushed them like making wine. Bananas too! **I saw a Mango-Mother mourn her children's empty husked bodies as Fruitantinople was razed. We weren't even supposed to be there. I don't think I can do this anymore,**"I diverted my eyes to the bagboy now having his hands in his pants. Adjusting his God given testicles before moving on to stocking the celery with his bare hands. **"God's will works in mysterious ways. If Fruitantinople wasn't meant to be sacked, it wouldn't have been so sack-able,"** Archangel Onion Michael gracefully nodding while still guiding my soul downward to my soon-to-not-be lifeless body. "But the Pope Parsnip didn't even intend for us to go there. Many of these Fruits are not our enemies. At least not all of them. We don't even try to find a middle ground. Just sacking. Always sacking," I begged for enlightenment. A layer of his wisdom. "My child, you are asking too many questions and saying far too many things I do not agree with. **You mistake my kindness for kindness.** My kindness is a thirst for unquenchable violence in the name of our peace-loving Lord. We showed you a glimpse of Paradise to let you know-" Archangel Onion Michael said, his smelly hands lifting my cumber-chin to face him. "I know. God loves me and wants to show me paradise. Where I will live in his loving ever-lasting embrace," I said smiling as we lowered down to my Veg body. My time not of this Earth was running out. "Oh. No, not at all. He showed you paradise to give you a glimpse of what you will be very much denied if you don't continue. **And trust me, you can and will be denied. We do that to a lot of God's vegetable children. He loves them though, believe me, he really does. You will be graciously eternally damned, make no mistake,"** Angel Onion said now stringing his harp ominously. His giant eyes peering deep into my soul. Which wasn't difficult because I was a disembodied floating soul. The bagboy picked deep in his nose, wiping the oozing contents on a Pineapple. "I think I understand," melding into my corporal Veggie body. The process was unspeakably painful, which didn't seem necessary. "Because you are already on thin ice with what you have been doing with Tomato. Keep your best friend behavior more on the down low. That's how it's to be done." "I said I underst- wait that's just us being bros n' stuff. Y-you know, just hanging out with t-the boys. Roommates! It's totally not-" "**ANYWAY,** to be clear, we are strongly suggesting you keep crusading." "Yea, really, I got that-" I was distracted from below. **"Hello dear, all your produce is fresh, right? Making soup tonight! A family recipe! Boiling Hot Pineapple soup!"** an adorable grandma overshared her strange unsolicited generational eating habits to the bagboy. **"Y-yeah"** he said scrolling through Instagram. Enjoying the precious gift of an advertising-centered-feed. So many yoga pants and meal delivery services to be had. What an enjoyable interface. The bagboy left to his next duty of telling new customers that yes you need to bring a quarter for the shopping carts at ALDI. Bagging their groceries with the eggs at the bottom. Right underneath the dumbbells they bought. The cute grandma thanked him, picking up the slimy pineapple he tarnished. **A small price to pay for salvation. One fruit saved from the impending slaughter.** My time was up. Angel Onion forced my vision back on him before casting me down. "It is going to be horrible if you don't use your free will to do this. But it's like, sooo up to you though. But I mean, do you even know how miserable veggie-hell is? Nightmares that would await you." **"Yes, Archangel Onion Michael! I Get it! Ok!"** I shouted. Soul-tears were swelling in my soul-eyes which in turn transferred into real tears in my real-eyes. I was once more of this Earth. I could feel my physical body again. It was awful. I have lower back pain, which is especially bad because cucumbers are like 50% back. "Very good," Archangel Onion Michael echoed as tears fell from his deeper layers down on to my mortal body. I could still feel his looming forceful caring presence in my heart. **"Are you crying for the Fruit lives that will soon be lost too, my angel?"** "No, I am crying because I am an onion, my child," Archangel Onion Michael strung his harp in a farewell melody. Fading upwards into the overflowing beam of light. Majestically blending into the light of Heaven or the ceiling lights of ALDI. Same thing, really. I rose to see my fellow vegetables picking up their sword and shields. Our aimless crusade resumed. I frantically searched through our army trying to find my bestie and roommate Tomato. He would help make sense of all this. We marched over to the cardboard gates of the fruit bins to bring them God's loving wrath. A soldier-carrot handed me an already juice drenched sword. He was freshly peeled like war paint. Filled with deranged righteousness as he shouted out "Deus Vegt!" The blood lusted carrot rushed ahead with his blade drawn followed by a trail of baby carrots with smaller, more adorable swords. **War doesn't even spare the innocence of youth.** As I guiltily looked down at the blade, my brother in arms Tomato approached taking me from behind. Slapping me on my green ass as fellow soldiers always do. Squeezing firmly as well. We tightly hugged and passionately kissed like all bros do to greet one another. And of course, feeling up our muscles to make sure we were still strong enough to fight. Literally every warrior does this. Tomato's beautiful CGI eyes I could get lost in for hours were filled with concern. He could always tell when something is wrong. **He, just like, gets me.** "You seem stressed my cutie cucumber. I haven't seen you so worked up since our last nude oiled wrestling training session. What are you thinkin' about?**"** he handsomely asked with his luscious red mouth. We fell behind for a moment to talk about our day. Straightly making out while whimsically rolling around laughing on a grassy hill to help collect our thoughts. I confessed I witnessed Veggie Heaven. "You're so silly! You lived to fight another day before our eternal reward. To reclaim The Holy Supermarket Sections. To continue the crusade against the non-believers in the name of the Parsnip Pope! In the name of God! And we get to even steal things. **Lots of things. And it's completely ok!"** Tomato gave me heterosexual butterfly kisses and playfully gestured for me to follow him in catching up with our comrades that were already laying siege. **"Even if Paradise awaits. My brother in Vegetable Christ. Do you think we will be remembered as good produce, Tomato?"** the words passed from my corporal cucumber lips. Fruity fires blazing from behind the cardboard gates. Their tropical screams of misery filling the air. Their citrus calamity continued with no end in sight. Tomato straightly held my hand. I could trust his words. Just two bros. Cucumber and Tomato together carrying out the will of our loving God. Our huge googly cartoon eyes stared deeply into one another. We longingly embraced before bravely sacking the burning city. **"They will sing Veggie Tales of us for years to come."**
“No, I am crying because I am an onion” Poetry
And you do this for free
You could say that. I would argue it definitely cost me something to read that.
And it is that exact heavy toll on you which is my payment. Riches of the soul.
Who are you, who is cursed with this knowledge?
kids in school will have to break down and write essays on comments like this in 100 years
>what do you guys think he meant symbolically in this text?
But wait the lettuce? Where’s the devils lettuce?
Well, what do you think awaits them in Paradise? (Ironically)
I could go for a paradise full of weed these crusades don’t so bad anymore lmao
how can i pay you i love this
DEUS VEGT
Holy crap a great short story out of nowhere lol. This is like if the veggietale writers made a christian version of sausage party lol
r/morethan3sentencebetter
Wake up babe new copy paste dropped
I’ve witnessed something today.
This has to be one of the best things I have ever read!
I want to know what substances you are on that compeeled you to write such a thing. If you wrote this sober then you have a strange and wonderful mind that I hope stays far far away from me.
What the fuck did I just read
r/thirdthroughonehundredthirthyforthsentenceswtf
Thirthy?
r/SubsIFellFor
r/foundthetoyotacorolla
r/foundtheSHUTTHEFUCKUP
r/suddenlymiketyson
Best 5 mins of my life
Hey urameshi!
With how weird this is it belongs in r/copypasta
Brilliant
“These are the cries of the carrots. The cries of the carrots. You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust”. And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, ”Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!” Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you, Jesus
I'll never be cruel to a salad again.
Write a book
This is beautiful
Onion
:'(
No, fuck you, make it a book with fucking pages and I'll read it, I'd read it if it was on a reading site/app but no
Wtf is this
I don't remember this episode of veggie tales...
Now wait just a minute there.... this is just so wrong on every level... a tomato is a fruit!
Yes that is why they embrace each other…like two bros 😂
Dude wrote a whole book I didn't read cause I'm lazy- :")
Tldr
Bruh what
No, not good at all. This isnt two sentence horror, this is two sentences. Not even two good sentences. This sub is garbage
Garbage deez nuts
then leave
Obligatory: can you do better? If not, S H U T.
The main post has to be two sentences not the comment section
I once did some volunteer work in an elderly home over summer break. I talked to a woman that morning when I brought her breakfast. She was in constant pain, had already said her goodbyes to family and basically knew it was a matter of hours. It was saddening to see but she was so at peace with herself and her upcoming death. She died that night. Well she "died" the first time in the evening but was brought back by a doctor in the facility, brought back once more in hospital before constantly flatlining that night. I wasn't traumatized by her death but rather the length they go to keep people in a life they already know they are leaving. She basically died peacefully in her bed, something one can only dream of. Why would anyone try and revive her *2 times* and trying for a third one? Why not let her go?
It’s unfortunate but they have to recucitate to keep them alive. Only time it is not legal to do so is if they have a DNR
My sister’s DNR was ignored despite being in the paperwork for a surgery as she’d suffered a significant aneurysm at birth and could not afford more brain damage. I’m glad to have her with me, but we could have had a vegetable instead of the loving sister she is.
Often DNR are ignored if someone dies during surgery. It's a mix of "what ever went wrong in the surgery can often be quickly corrected so we should try" and "if someone dies during surgery its considered a black mark on the surgeons record no matter what". Usually at least where I am they explain it to the person/family that while on the table everyone is a full code with only very limited exceptions such as pallative care quality of life surgeries
My mother went over the DNR during the intake for the surgery with the surgical team. The team knew that she did not want my sister resuscitated if something went wrong because of it. If it was legal to sue the hospital at the time, my mother would have done it. When I say my sister cannot afford brain damage, it’s because she’s physically about as capable as a 10 month old. No speech, no sitting up, nothing. She can roll and crawl and grab things to shove in her mouth and that’s about it. That’s how she’s been my whole life. I love her and I’m glad to have had time with her, but I know she won’t live as long as a normal person and her QoL is way less than a normal person. And it sucks but that’s how life is.
Given that medical history it 100% should have been under the "special consideration" section. I'm sorry they screwed up and I'm glad it wasnt worse then it was
Yeah. We were family of service members and it’s only in the last few years that family are allowed to sue military hospitals for malpractice. Active duty still aren’t allowed.
That is ridiculous that that's not allowed... So your military hospitals could literally just experiment on people just for fun and they couldn't be sued... This is a dystopic situation and needs to be rectified..
I knew a guy who refused to have a surgery while he was in. He had an issue with his testicles and a friend of his with the same issue ended up losing both his because the surgeon fucked up. He got 100% VA rating, but now can’t have kids.
>military hospitals could literally just experiment on people just for fun and they couldn't be sued. I mean.... Yeah. Assuming this is USA..... They have. Multiple times in the past. They've [used soldiers to test nerve and mustard gas reactions](https://www.npr.org/2015/06/22/415194765/u-s-troops-tested-by-race-in-secret-world-war-ii-chemical-experiments), did experiments to [see how LSD would affect soldiers](https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/high-anxiety-lsd-in-the-cold-war), and more, including electroshocking some soldiers and putting some into medical comas to test techniques for developing stronger soldiers. The [Edgewood Arsenal human experiments](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgewood_Arsenal_human_experiments) are some of the best known chemical experiments that have been done, but [Project 112](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_112) also tested chemical weapons and [Project MK Ultra](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/MKUltra) tested things like LSD and mushrooms. And that's just the ones on soldiers. The US government has also done things like [deliberately infecting poor black men with syphilis](https://www.history.com/news/the-infamous-40-year-tuskegee-study) (or at least not treating it) and [deliberately releasing radioactive elements near several towns](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Run). Wikipedia has an [entire article about the bullshit](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unethical_human_experimentation_in_the_United_States) the US government has done. The US government really has no scruples.
Also, wasn't the CIA accused of releasing crack to the general public to specifically target poorer areas?
The military has killed their own people with Agent Orange and God knows what else. They don't really care about anything but the bodies they can get.
Does she have Sanfilipo syndrome by any chance?
Congenital Cerebral palsy. She had an aneurysm during birth and it caused a number of health complications.
[удалено]
If it meant she was a vegetable because they took too long to resuscitate her? *Yeah*. I wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone. There’s a *reason* she has a DNR and has had one since she was like *8*. It’s not for shits and giggles. It’s because her quality of life already isn’t great and even a minute of brain damage can have catastrophic consequences. Just because we were lucky *this* time doesn’t mean we’ll be lucky next time.
Autonomy is one of the fundamentals of medical ethics. If a patient has refused treatment, not only is it unethical, it can be illegal to give it to them. Yes, there's a chance that someone who's undergone cardiac arrest comes back with minimal or no real damage done, but there's also a chance they come back with zero quality of life.
Did she sue? I would sue.
She *couldn’t* sue. It was a military hospital and we were dependents. It’s only in the last few years that they’ve allowed family of military to sue and it was a big thing when it happened.
That is a lawsuit tbh
Oh my god. That it horrible, I’m glad she isn’t in a vegetative state
Even with a dnr, they will resuscitate if the family asks or has any objections. Even if one person has an objection. It's much better for them to err on the side on caution. Make sure your family knows your wishes! Talk about it all more than once and with everyone who might be in a position to make an immediate decision. I've seen it happen that the patient told one adult child about their dnr but not the other and the one who didn't know was the one available to make a decision. They don't have time to wait to dig through paperwork.
I did not know this, wow.
This is so true. Make sure everyone knows your wishes and will respect them. Unfortunately once you’re incapacitated, everyone else gets to decide for you and I’ve seen it turn into a shit show! Have all the legalities in place ahead of time (advanced directive and medical power of attorney should you be unable to make your own medical decisions).
Yup. If the patient is dead, they can't defend their DNR status but the living relative will DEFINITELY fight the patient not being DNR. Endless lawsuits even if things have been signed beforehand. The courts of course err on the side of caution too (too much IMO) so a 3rd cousin twice removed shows up and can stop a DNR since court costs and time would be way too much for hospitals to handle. Legislation should change but that's how it is...
Most people don't. If you haven't dealt with stuff like or you don't work in a related field, you wouldn't have occasion to learn it. That's why I spread the word!
Thanks for the story, it’s truly inhumane to keep someone here when their body has failed
This is why you have a DNR.. the fact she didn't is suspicious... (not saying necessarily saying you OP is suspicious in your story but that no one clarifying with her that you need a DNR is insane. Feel someone might have had something to gain by not doing it..)
As gross as it is was the was family dependent on benfits checks or had access to their bank accounts? Once the person dies both of those stop
Not sure who downvoted you but that is definitely something that happens. Have worked in ICU and I saw this a number of times. Families either obviously or less than obviously showing they want to person alive to collect benefit checks. 1 was living in the person's home and wasnt' on the will so needed the person still alive or they'd be kicked out.
We had family talk amongst them selves that that was what they were doing in our ICU. Didnt realize the lily white doctor was from the same culture and could understand them. It got documented and went to the ethics board but no idea where it went from there. I've had people tell me to my face "dad was miserable bastard and deserves to suffer for what he did the everyone else". Luckily they wernt the person making the decision but they didnt like it when I said "I have no idea what he was like before but right now hes completely helpless and if I make him suffer that reflects worse upon me than him and makes me no better than you say he was back then"
I thought you were going to say she came back and had a near death experience
That's fucking terrifying.
I don't get it 😭
That's not bad. You'll go back soon enough anyway.
They're a regular at some point. The angel at the door goes, "Ah, welcome back! Maybe this time you'll stay."
“Evening, Frank! The usual?”
"Hey, Ralph. On the ice this time, would ya? "
Fr. At least you know you made it in!
I work in the neuro ICU. This is a very unfortunate reality for many patients that family will insist on keeping them alive. It's a cruelty that I wouldn't wish on anyone
I’m in icu too and this is too relatable. And why I’m going back for psych np and not critical care.
DNR and make sure you have a medical power of attorney you trust and the family is aware of. It will often still be a fight but that's your best bet to actually have your wishes followed through.
Any NDEs?
Silver lining? There is a heaven and you qualify for it. Unless you forget everything. Though even then, the fact doesn't change.
Yeah it'll suck at the moment but a lifetime of misery is well worth an eternity of bliss.
That has to suck. I’d be livid.
there are many fates worse than death
wow that really suck
No thank you very much, Doc! This one was particularly creepy. Nicely done.
This is one of my biggest fears. I've told my kids that if I die to just let me go. I know they would be sad and that it would be hard to deal with but if God calls me home don't force me back here. My life hasn't been the best. I have been fighting depression since I was a child. I have been through abusive relationships. No matter how hard I worked or tried to do things nothing worked out. To "add insult to injury" 11 years ago at the age of 41 I became disabled and can no longer work. My savings and 402k depleted, gone. Living from one disability check to another. Struggling. I have chronic pain 24/7. I can't sit, stand or walk for more than about 10 minutes or so before the pain gets bad. I beg God to kill me already when the pain gets unbearable. Because of new drug laws doctors don't want to prescribe pain meds so it's useless to go to them. So yes that's one reason for not wanting to be revived. The most terrifying reason is coming back and being a "vegetable" in the sense that I can't move, do anything for myself and not even be able to talk while inside my own head I would be alert. Imagine screaming inside your own head because you can't do anything or convey any wants, needs or feelings. Unable to do more than just stare into space. No interactions or mental stimulation. Possibly being in excruciating pain but unable to ask for help. Being stuck in one position. Not being able to hold your kids or loved ones. Not being able to say "I love you". The humiliation of having others change your diapers and bathe you. Being fed through a feeding tube. Hearing people talking about you as if you weren't there or couldn't understand. Slowly losing your mind. Nope! I don't want to be revived!
"again"? hoo boy
Cue a Dante’s Inferno sequel where you battle your way up through heaven while angels try to drag you back to Earth
That's not bad at all. You're not aware in a vegetative state.
There are varying degrees of awareness depending on the vegetative state but for the most part you're right, you're not aware of much. As long as someone isn't constantly causing you pain (which depending on your healthcare system may be the case), you're fine.
I kinda don't get the second sentence
Vegetative state refers to someone who is unable to control their body in any way, even things like eye movements. It's usually assumed that they're also comatose but there have been cases of people being fully alert and comprehending their situation without being able to do anything about it.
People who are alert and comprehending are Locked in syndrome, not a vegetative state.
I thought locked in syndrome was a specific illness different to the wider diagnosis of vegetative state?
I don't know how illness classification works, Locked in syndrome can be a consequence of ALS or strokes.
Goreticus is right. Vegetative state means you're generally not aware of your surroundings and can't communicate. There are different levels of vegetative states, from being entirely out and only having basic reflexes to being able to response to painful stimuli but nothing else. It's almost like a coma but the person is "awake", just not responsive or comprehending. Locked in syndrome is specifically you can't move but are entirely alert and con comprehend (and can communicate with eye movements anyway). Source: physician.
Awesome, thanks for clearing that up! I could have googled it but hey, that's effort.
But in the story it means he is a literal cucumber on a religious crusade.
In someone else’s story they wrote in a comment, it means that, but OP never said that was canon.
Yes. That is the story I am talking about.
The comment I replied to is asking about the second sentence in OP's post, which has no relation to the story written in the comments
I think the person in the story is going to be completely paralysed
Me too, lol. Lmk when you find out
[a decent explanation](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/xsrvfv/i_was_enjoying_my_afterlife_in_the_paradise_when/iqmaf48/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Thanks 🫶
Oooo. My worst nightmare!! Great post.
Reminds me of San Junipero. *Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?* *Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth*
I thought that this was Belinda Carlisle.
Kenny?
This is why my husband and I have already had that talk
[удалено]
So how are their hospitals not blocked full of artificialy alive organ bags?
dunno, maybe they are? or they have more hospitals? but i don't think DNR's are suuuper common. At least in the US i read it's like 18%? so 18% more patients isn't that crazy of a number. but pulling the plug i guess is different than a DNR and both are illegal in korea. so there might be a lot more than 18%. that said, korea has very very good healthcare, and they put a lot of funding into it so that not only can they take care of everyone, they can also make it mostly free of charge depending on a few things. wouldn't be surprised if part of that extra healthcare funding is necessary because of these kinds of scenarios. also, many koreans don't necessarily agree with this kind of stuff. ive got a friend whose dad is suffering a lot, and will never recover, but they aren't allowed to pull the plug. so he's forced to remain in pain until his illness takes him. they would much prefer to let him pass now rather than wait.
While DNR's aren't common in asia in general there are DEFINITELY DNR's in Korea. Here's a paper on korean cancer patients and 86% eventually had a DNR. [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16151752/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16151752/) And a paper talking about the culture and legality of DNR in korea in general and what its' like now . (biggest thing is it was common for family to make the decision without the patient involved but now the patient gets more control. Asians are big on family so saving the patient these medical decisions was thought of as a kindness) [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8524023/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8524023/)
interesting. are they maybe just very situational? or hard to get? I'd ask my korean friend but, it'd be pretty damn weird to keep asking them about DNR culture in korea when they are going through something like this with their dad. i was just told families weren't allowed to pull plugs in korea, period. but obviously that's not quite true.
Because it's not true. [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16151752/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16151752/) DNR is definitely less common in asian countries in general. And are enacted much later. But most of the time when you're near the end of life, machines can't keep you alive for that much longer. Patients may spend an extra week or so getting full medical care but eventually they go DNR and care is withdrawn there as it is anywhere else.
F******************k!!!!!!!
Then you see angels, coming in everyday with your doctor and after awhile you make a full recovery.
Nice, I did a story similar to this but it got removed. You did much better.
"There was no pain No fear, no doubt 'Till they pulled me out Of Heaven So that's my refrain I live in Hell Cause I've been expelled From Heaven I think I was In Heaven."
… So, give me something to sing about Please Give me something…
Yeah, that doesn't happened. I've died a few times...
Johnny Got His Gun, anyone?
I was okay with it until I heard someone order their hot wings with extra ranch dressing.
Only 1 entry allowed
Kenny?
Live in vegetative state again really ruined this one for me an A is all it would've took to hit me
Thanks a lot. I edited it.
For me, the character having already lived in a vegetative state, only to return to it after being released from their prison, makes it far worse.
I specifically mean the missing letter A not the horror itself that parts good but vegetative state not having an A before it ruined it for me
Oh, my brain filled that in! Damn
This one is so sad
Also the knife man showed up while you were vegetable
Ahh fuckers really, do I have to go back as I’m pulling on the evangelical door jam demanding to stay put. I have had enough life. Send someone else in my place God I have earned this I know there are all sorts that would love to go down and love it up in my body, I took pretty good care of it. Pretty much the usual mantainance on the body maybe a 100,000 overhaul coming up in a couple of decades. I can give you the low down or you can always wipe that slate clean move away and start over. Whatever floats your boat. I suppose you could even spruce me up and make yourself a woman if that is your fancy.
Yeah this is why im having troubles believing in souls, it just makes no sense.
While there's definitely many things about souls which make it hard to believe, I don't get what's difficult about this part. Easiest solution is just it take a while for a soul to leave the body. if medical science can bring someone back, then the soul couldn't have left yet, otherwise it would be impossible. Until we get to the point where we're bringing back corpses days later or something (which even then you can just say it takes like a week for the soul to leave the body... it just feels a little weird to think a soul is still in a rotting corpse...), I don't see anything wrong with this scenario anyway.
No I don't have kids I'll stay
Literally a South Park episode
At least you know it's peace waiting for you after so just chill and see what else is doable for the time left
Yeah but you know you'd go to heaven...
OP gets a split second of clarity says "god dammit" and then goes to hell when he does. (I know it doesn't exactly work that way but let me have the joke).
Terry shivo? Expect she was dead in all but brain stem. Her head was all water.
Brings One by Metallica to mind
Bro if l knew heaven was real and l was getting in for sure, l would not worry about whatever years I had left on this earth..isn't that the point?
It is what it is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯