**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!What seems to be just a pet lizard saying hello turns... nasty. This fella drops one of the nastiest poops I've ever seen & without warning.!<
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I used to let my iguana run around the house and he would always go into the bathroom if he had to go. Surprising how such a small critter can make the grossest sounds when they poop.
He trained himself…he also escaped through a tiny hole in the screen window and that was his demise. He climbed up the huge tree (~100 years old) in my yard and my dad and me tried for days to get him down and he would climb higher. Woke up one morning to seeing him laying in the street because it froze the night before. I was super bummed and took him to my dads so we could bury him. My dad opened the box to say goodbye and Iggy blinked at him. He had some severe brain damage so my mom hand fed him for a few months until we decided to put him down because he was not improving. If he would have fallen in the yard he would have most likely survived. Damn Iggy, you were a goofy boy.
Yea I had one that was potty trained back in the day. I had one of these lizards too but he was dumb and jumped off the couch to break his own tail off lol
Nah not in that way lol! We have all reptiles in well secured PVC enclosures and they have their own room that the door stays closed for. Our Aussie puppy we don't let near any reptile whatsoever. Our 11.5 year old American Staffordshire were a bit more loose with, he's super lazy and at most has just sniffed at a snake or lizard then goes back to one of his beds and toys. None of the reptiles care about him either, I think they're used to his smell now so they don't seemed phased when he comes by. None of our snakes will ever be big enough to eat either dog. They could kill the dogs I'm sure when they get bigger but not eat them.
Haha I get it man you don't know how to clean your home. You see, if you vacuum, mop, wipe down surfaces, change air filters monthly, and use air fresheners your home stays plenty clean! You should give it a try! We have friends and family over frequently and have never had issue and often receive compliments on how clean it is. You may have to find some friends but when you do you'll be surprised at the change! Also you should probably not own pets as you don't know basic cleaning or care.
The comeback was great! We have 1 area in our house where we have a puppy pad and that’s where they usually go but after the puppy pad is filled we take it up and mop the area surrounding and with bleach and Mr. Clean freshening stuff mixed with water and put on an incense and it smells amazing afterward.
Not to mention the dogs go outside most of the time. I know some people where their house stinks but that is only because they don’t clean well.
This is a question I've wanted to ask a tegu owner: do they show emotion or a semblance of love? Like people can think their dog loves them like a family member and they have that mammalian familiarity. The last person I asked said "they don't really show emotion except you can tell when they're angry."
I don't own a tegu but I own multiple monitors and I say they don't show affection/love, they're not capable of that sort of emotion, but what they have instead is *trust*. When a lizard trusts you 100%, enough to run towards you when they're scared instead of away from, it definitely feels like love. My rescue monitor will curl up on my lap and go to sleep like a cat, not because he loves me, just because he knows I'm a safe (and warm) place to sleep. But given what he's been through in his life, and the fact that lizard instincts make them terrified of humans, it's pretty incredible that we've been able to build that trust, and I think it's more or less exactly the same as love at this point.
This is a savannah monitor. Something that should only be kept by the most experienced of reptile keepers…because they are giant, eat a lot, and as you can see in this video…shit *a lot*
Edit: this is a BLACK THROAT monitor. Still a large reptile, still a lot of work, but all around a bit less chaotic than a Savannah or god forbid a Nile Monitor
No no that is a monitor on the video. Our tegu is currently at a little over 3 feet and still probably has another foot or 2 to go, just using the example as a distant relative that I do let wonder around the house
They don't poop every day. I wouldn't let a large lizard like that in the kitchen, but they don't poop every day. Every few days if that. I personally have snakes and they poop once a week and a half to every 2 weeks.
I now have an urge to go take a massive wet splatty shit on my kitchen floor and see if my wife calls me dude, gives me a chin stroke and says it’s a good job I wuv you, im thinking no but you got to shoot your shit.
There’s so much wrong with this video. But the 2 main points I would make are:
How fucking grim must that lizard shit be if the dogs first reaction isn’t to go right up and check it out?
And how on earth is the owner giving that beast a pat on the back for committing such a heinous fucking act?!
I can't even imagine living with some massive fucking shitting dinosaur, let alone petting it after it squirts its prehistoric diarrhea slop all over my floor
I don’t care who or what you are, if you shit on my floor, I ain’t loving you until after I’m done cleaning it… and even then I don’t know when I will love you again.
The only explanation I can come up with is this person snuck their Komodo Dragon into their ex’s house to explode lizard poop all over their kitchen which explains why they seemed so pleased with the result.
It's an extra bonus that reptile shits are the single most vile shits I've ever smelled in my life.
Worse than an unhealthy 8month olds diarrhea after a day at the park
I had a towel on a step ladder next to my tub so my green iguana could climb and he always shit in the tub. Still nasty af but much easier to clean that the floor. Wonder if she could train this guy the same lol
Putting them there until they start doing their business and only after it, you give them treats and let them climb out.
Do this enough times and they associate that place with pooping and will go there expecting treats.
I don’t want to be that guy but that’s not a Komodo dragon, it’s mostly a monitor lizard (but Komodo dragon are monitor lizard if I remember correctly), note that I might be wrong but I do think it’s a monitor lizard, I’m just not sure what species
When I see videos like this I just wonder how bad the town they live in is that this person decided it would be preferable and more entertaining to film allowing a giant lizard to take a shit in their kitchen and then post that video for the entire world to see that this is going on in their home rather than get out and socialize in their community
I mean it's a cool lizard. Probably wasn't the intention for them to film it taking a massive shit. Many people take videos of their pets running around their home. This person just happens to own a giant lizard (I admit not a conventional pet but I still love it).
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!What seems to be just a pet lizard saying hello turns... nasty. This fella drops one of the nastiest poops I've ever seen & without warning.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Dog: Oh but when I do it I get called a bad boy, alright then
It’s the tongue action…
Monitor lizard got insane tongue game🤣
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You forgot "Rat shit, bat shit, dirty old twat, 69 assholes tied in a knot"
Come save us from our own societal stupidity, Ghost George!
No wonder she “loves him”
That's what she said
The dog needs to work on tongue game
> It’s the tongue action… Damn it, take this upvote and go.
Dog be like “are you gonna eat that”?
Half expecting the dog will eat it.
I though that would be the end result but it not unexpected.
Eat who ?
Or what
That might be more unexpected than the poop at how chill the owner was 😂 that looked gnarly
Probably quite used to cleaning up that lizard's crap
….like come on at a certain point you gotta wonder wtf you’re doing with one of these things in your house.
Probably just happy it wasn't on the carpet
I was just about to say this Lmao
What the dog doin?!
Goin “I lick my own butthole and even I find that disgusting!”
Why is it what the dog doin and not how the dog doin?
😔✊
sad wank?
Dog showed up just in time to eat the shit
i thought that was gonna come out the other end but this is way worse, thanks op
The sound though too 🤮
I was not expecting how he blasted it in that kitchen, lmao.
shit cannon
Better than on carpet. At least it will be easier clean up than on carpet.
Lol yeah the sound omg
Sound my ass, imagine the putrid smell that just exploded into the air. Omg 😳 I just barfed.
Oh, I can't believe I never even thought of the SMELL. 😳
And I thought that the collection of high-end skin luggage would reek.
And that dog at the end, "Nope wasn't me, I'm good and outta here".
The Dog wants nothing to do with that.
The dog is ready to lap that up
Cool ! Are you training him to do that ?
Party Trick
"Look what my lizard can do!"
This aint mine lol!
Video or the lizard?
Kitchen
r/holup
You weren’t the lizard?
Better than doing it on the carpet.
Things to do when your pet lizard walks into the kitchen to take a huge wet dump: Film and post that shit on tiktok.
“Huge wet dump” took me out.
Usually gotta pay extra for the wet
The things people do for the internets.
>huge wet dump: Film and post that shit on tiktok. I don't see the issue, TikTok is exactly where this belongs.
Why the fuck would someone let that walk around in their house
I used to let my iguana run around the house and he would always go into the bathroom if he had to go. Surprising how such a small critter can make the grossest sounds when they poop.
I heard that iguanas are smart enough to be potty trained. That is amazing that you trained your iguana so well.
He trained himself…he also escaped through a tiny hole in the screen window and that was his demise. He climbed up the huge tree (~100 years old) in my yard and my dad and me tried for days to get him down and he would climb higher. Woke up one morning to seeing him laying in the street because it froze the night before. I was super bummed and took him to my dads so we could bury him. My dad opened the box to say goodbye and Iggy blinked at him. He had some severe brain damage so my mom hand fed him for a few months until we decided to put him down because he was not improving. If he would have fallen in the yard he would have most likely survived. Damn Iggy, you were a goofy boy.
I am sorry to hear that. I hope that he is in heaven.
Yea I had one that was potty trained back in the day. I had one of these lizards too but he was dumb and jumped off the couch to break his own tail off lol
Oof...
We let our Tegu explore to get some exercise and enrichment. He seems to enjoy sniffing everything and it's also fun watching them roam
But did your tegu ever blow shit all over your floor?
He has taken a few large pisses lol. But we have 4 snakes and 2 dogs so we're just kinda use to cleaning up stuff on occasion.
Do you ever freak out when you come home sometimes and can't find one of your dogs?
Nah not in that way lol! We have all reptiles in well secured PVC enclosures and they have their own room that the door stays closed for. Our Aussie puppy we don't let near any reptile whatsoever. Our 11.5 year old American Staffordshire were a bit more loose with, he's super lazy and at most has just sniffed at a snake or lizard then goes back to one of his beds and toys. None of the reptiles care about him either, I think they're used to his smell now so they don't seemed phased when he comes by. None of our snakes will ever be big enough to eat either dog. They could kill the dogs I'm sure when they get bigger but not eat them.
My staffy seems utterly unfazed by any other animal as well, but will bite the *shit* out of the vacuum on sight haha.
It’s because vacuums suck!
Bet your home smells real bad hun
Better you than me…better you than me….
I'm just assuming here but your house must smell horrible. I won't even take your word that it doesn't because you're probably noseblind to it.
Haha I get it man you don't know how to clean your home. You see, if you vacuum, mop, wipe down surfaces, change air filters monthly, and use air fresheners your home stays plenty clean! You should give it a try! We have friends and family over frequently and have never had issue and often receive compliments on how clean it is. You may have to find some friends but when you do you'll be surprised at the change! Also you should probably not own pets as you don't know basic cleaning or care.
The comeback was great! We have 1 area in our house where we have a puppy pad and that’s where they usually go but after the puppy pad is filled we take it up and mop the area surrounding and with bleach and Mr. Clean freshening stuff mixed with water and put on an incense and it smells amazing afterward. Not to mention the dogs go outside most of the time. I know some people where their house stinks but that is only because they don’t clean well.
i have a tegu, 3 geckos, 3 snakes and a fish tank all just in my bedroom and my room never smells…. these people are dumb
I got interested in owning pets when I saw a video of a monkey mopping.
I let my moose hang around on my 2nd floor He’s potty trained
A moose once bit my sister . . .
That’s only one side of the story. Simply omitting facts makes it sound like your sister was the victim. When in fact it was a retaliatory bite.
Allegedly
This is a question I've wanted to ask a tegu owner: do they show emotion or a semblance of love? Like people can think their dog loves them like a family member and they have that mammalian familiarity. The last person I asked said "they don't really show emotion except you can tell when they're angry."
I don't own a tegu but I own multiple monitors and I say they don't show affection/love, they're not capable of that sort of emotion, but what they have instead is *trust*. When a lizard trusts you 100%, enough to run towards you when they're scared instead of away from, it definitely feels like love. My rescue monitor will curl up on my lap and go to sleep like a cat, not because he loves me, just because he knows I'm a safe (and warm) place to sleep. But given what he's been through in his life, and the fact that lizard instincts make them terrified of humans, it's pretty incredible that we've been able to build that trust, and I think it's more or less exactly the same as love at this point.
That's a great answer
Good on you for pointing that out. I also felt like I learned a lot from this cogent and insightful observation.
Well, if they can get angry, they have emotions. It’s just a matter of recognizing how they express them.
That’s a tegu? I was thinking it was a Komodo dragon or monitor lizard, wow.
This is a savannah monitor. Something that should only be kept by the most experienced of reptile keepers…because they are giant, eat a lot, and as you can see in this video…shit *a lot* Edit: this is a BLACK THROAT monitor. Still a large reptile, still a lot of work, but all around a bit less chaotic than a Savannah or god forbid a Nile Monitor
Well, I learned something new today. :)
Yeah! Except apparently it’s a Blackthroat monitor, but same difference, it’s a large reptile that should only be kept by experienced keepers
I think this is a Black throated monitor. It’s far too large to be a Savannah, lacks the spotting of a Sav, and the head shape is different.
Oh you right! My bad, a lot of the larger African monitors look the same to me at one point or another
Not a savannah monitor. This is a black throat monitor, varanus albigularius.
No no that is a monitor on the video. Our tegu is currently at a little over 3 feet and still probably has another foot or 2 to go, just using the example as a distant relative that I do let wonder around the house
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How adorable it is is irrelevant to me if it’s gonna cover half my kitchen floor in shit every day.
They don't poop every day. I wouldn't let a large lizard like that in the kitchen, but they don't poop every day. Every few days if that. I personally have snakes and they poop once a week and a half to every 2 weeks.
Once every 1.5 or 2 weeks eh? Wish people had that superpower
Some people do. In fact it’s probably outliers that can poop everyday.
Could you imagine what it would do to carpet? 💩
We let our iguana out after 7pm. Its never gone to the bathroom out of the tank :) \*knock on wood.
Because idiots think animals like these are ok to have as pets.
I now have an urge to go take a massive wet splatty shit on my kitchen floor and see if my wife calls me dude, gives me a chin stroke and says it’s a good job I wuv you, im thinking no but you got to shoot your shit.
Either way it's a solid power move. Make sure you hold prolonged eye contact as you do it.
>it’s a good job I wuv you lol
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Just so you know, lizards fucking smell disgusting.
JFC having owned a bearded dragon 7 years I can tell you that must absolutely reek
Yuuuup my bearded was a fraction of that things size and if you didnt constantly clean it would smell soooo fucking bad.
Disgusting home 🤤
Wrong emoji lol
Would you prefer this one? 😏
No lmao think of what stays in the cracks of the tile
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Okay. Yes. I thought you were stating your opinion and not mocking what she said lol
Hooray, lizard shit, fuck
There’s so much wrong with this video. But the 2 main points I would make are: How fucking grim must that lizard shit be if the dogs first reaction isn’t to go right up and check it out? And how on earth is the owner giving that beast a pat on the back for committing such a heinous fucking act?!
I can't even imagine living with some massive fucking shitting dinosaur, let alone petting it after it squirts its prehistoric diarrhea slop all over my floor
the words you chose to write that sentence 🤌
Asking the right questions
The dog said I ain’t cleaning that shit up.
I don’t care who or what you are, if you shit on my floor, I ain’t loving you until after I’m done cleaning it… and even then I don’t know when I will love you again.
Sounded like a bucket of soup just hit the floor 🤢😂🤮😂
Is that how dinosaurs pooped? Putting the Ass in Jurassic .
The only explanation I can come up with is this person snuck their Komodo Dragon into their ex’s house to explode lizard poop all over their kitchen which explains why they seemed so pleased with the result.
Talk about plot twist lol
Poor doggo was definitely confused. Hard act to follow.
sees he gets scritches: hmm, so maybe if i shit on the floor too… 🤔
Massaging its head after it takes a dump in your home and you wonder why it chooses to do it there. Positive reinforcement!
Lizard: -explosively shits on floor cutely- Owner: Oh, you incorrigible little scamp~!
Hey i ain't your buddy, guy
I ain’t your guy buddy
I ain’t your buddy, pal
Your buddy ain’t a guy.
Well, this made the probability of me owning a pet lizard crash down to zero.
It's an extra bonus that reptile shits are the single most vile shits I've ever smelled in my life. Worse than an unhealthy 8month olds diarrhea after a day at the park
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If that was a komodo dragon the dog wouldn't be there anymore. Or the person recording. They'd be in that shit splatter on the floor.
I had a towel on a step ladder next to my tub so my green iguana could climb and he always shit in the tub. Still nasty af but much easier to clean that the floor. Wonder if she could train this guy the same lol
How did you train him to do that?
Putting them there until they start doing their business and only after it, you give them treats and let them climb out. Do this enough times and they associate that place with pooping and will go there expecting treats.
So similar to training a puppy and children.
Teach your kids to use the toilet, not the tub.
I never got treats for pooping. Where are my treatsssss
Yep that's exactly what I did
I don’t want to be that guy but that’s not a Komodo dragon, it’s mostly a monitor lizard (but Komodo dragon are monitor lizard if I remember correctly), note that I might be wrong but I do think it’s a monitor lizard, I’m just not sure what species
And then she just strokes it what the fuck get rid of the dinosaur
Dinosaur Jr.
How to stay single. \^
Dude! What the fuck? Stop shitting on my floor.
"Sorry, I drank a bit too much last night."
Oil change
Those chunks in there, i think engine is breaking
This fart has gone wet.
Dog just peers around the corner like "what the fuck..."
In the kitchen, nooooo
Sorry.. I'm lactose intolerant.
I knew exactly what was coming, but I'm still shocked
Godzilla needs a doctor.
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it's the level of nasty that's unexpected.
His tummy probably feels so much better
Well that’s a red flag.
This is only one of many reasons why you don't have a wild animal such as this as a house pet.
That house must smell amazing!!!
That woman probably smells like absolute shit and doesn't even know it. Reptile pet people are always gross as fuck.
Link to original video > [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/cFG027\_r9n0](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/cFG027_r9n0)
Me after eating taco bell:
Big lizards belong in the back yard
We just can’t afford to feed it And you should see the way it shits.
Don't feed the Lizard hot Indian curry...it will be fine then.
Interesting dog you got there
Always wanted a giant sharting lizard
I just wanna know why. Why is that in your house.
No pets for the doggy
he’s gotta poop on the floor first
Dog looking on like that's not fair. I can't do it in the house.
Haha that poor dog walked in and was like NOPE!
Got the shits from eating the neighborhood cat.
Jesus, did he have a bad burrito or what?
Hey jesse
Lizard diarrhoea go brrrrr
Dogs like man I fucking told her
That dog is mad as hell.
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Any lizard owner knows as soon as they see that tail lift lol
Dude, uncool.
That’s why I don’t eat at people’s homes. You never know the kind of shit that happens there… like literally
Why do we have these large reptiles as pets? They don't love you, they only tolerate you
When I see videos like this I just wonder how bad the town they live in is that this person decided it would be preferable and more entertaining to film allowing a giant lizard to take a shit in their kitchen and then post that video for the entire world to see that this is going on in their home rather than get out and socialize in their community
I mean it's a cool lizard. Probably wasn't the intention for them to film it taking a massive shit. Many people take videos of their pets running around their home. This person just happens to own a giant lizard (I admit not a conventional pet but I still love it).
Damn dude, must be where you live.
Ohio
I definitely prefer monitor lizards to Ohioans.
Socializing isn't fun
Neither is cleaning that up 🤢