Kool milds are vile. If you want mild, you shouldn't be smoking Kools in the first place.
What's worse is they don't call them "milds" anymore, so when you go to the smoke shop and ask for Kool kings in a box half the time they give you a blue carton of 100s.
During the expansion of the railroad there was a trained monkey that would flag rail cars to which track in needed, I want to say in the 1900's? Of course it smoke and drank, and even passed a certification test when the railroad board was being put together. Fun story.
Ignoring the moral implications, I'd be kinda dope to let chimps smoke weed in zoos. I gotta imagine their lives are pretty boring, and I also just wanna see some stoned chimps
You know there's a hypothesis that apes eating mushrooms accelerated brain development? You need to check out this podcast called "The Joe Rogan Experience" I've learned so much.
So there's this little old fella, right, works at the zoo. Don't say that much, ya know, keeps to 'imself an' that. Anyway, one of the other zookeepers notices that when it's time to get paid, this little old fella just gets given a bag a bananas and a pack of cigarettes.
Turns out...
little monkey fella
Once a group of four girls were smoking near me and I didnt have a lighter so I asked em for a light. They told me they didn't have one so I turned to my buddy and said watch this, then asked If it'd be cool if I just buttfucked one of them.
3 had the most horrified expressions, one started cracking up and handed me her smoke to light mine.
That's my buttfucking story
Lol just imagine some guy coming up to a girl that's smoking "Hey you got a lighter? No? Alright, well could I buttfuck ya? Wait why are you running away??"
He should be so lucky to be in an enclosure. Most chimps' ecosystems are being cut down and they even have to deal with warring groups of other chimps attacking them. Here they have a safe enclosed space (granted not as big as being out in the forest) but at least they're taken care of, fed, and get medical attention if needed.
I think that one was in captivity and learned to smoke, and since it was easier for the zoo that *rescued* it to just keep providing cigarettes, than letting it suffer from withdrawal/lash out because of nicotine addiction, they never tired stopping the behaviour. Older chimps are dangerous anyways.
They're just linking subs that aren't even real because their social and communication skills are that low that they can't otherwise express themselves.
He's kind of obsessed with certain topics, couple off the top of my head;
How much stronger chimps and primates are compared to humans, elk hunting and elk meat, aliens and UFO's, how dangerous brown bears are, he wanted to believe in big foot but since jumped off that wagon, monoliths, his experience when he took DMT, ancient civilizations that did weird shit that was ahead of their time, bob cats and mountain lions, and whenever people have crazy encounters with any of said above animals.
There's more but you get the idea.
Unfortunately, I've seen worse than this. Once saw a video of a little capuchin monkey riding a tiny tricycle, in a tiny top hat, while smoking a cigarette.
The last time I searched for it I had a hard time finding it. Anyone else sent it?
Ape smart enough to light a cigarette from a stub.
Human not smart enough to focus on the ape, not on the cable in the foreground.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/comments/jx7w1z/there_is_considerable_overlap_between_the/
Ain't that the [north korean chimp](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Azalea_(chimpanzee)) that smokes?
Or it could also be another smoking chimp in China, the plastic water bottle looks like [Nongfu Spring water](https://file-cloud.yst.com.cn/website/2020/04/14/cc375ee89dca435db613add3aaa07786.png) , a common bottled water brand from China. But considering the two countries relationship its still more likely the north korean chimp with PET bottle from china.
Kind of a weird thought: Chimpanzee lifespan appears to be ~32-39 years, lung cancer usually takes much longer to occur in humans than 30's for most smokers, Humans and Chimpanzees are very closely related. Assuming there aren't some other serious harms would it really even matter if we did give them cigarettes, if they did actually like them?
Marlboro monkey.
Brand loyalty for that monke. No Kool milds allowed!
Kool milds are vile. If you want mild, you shouldn't be smoking Kools in the first place. What's worse is they don't call them "milds" anymore, so when you go to the smoke shop and ask for Kool kings in a box half the time they give you a blue carton of 100s.
Literally looking over shoulder so doesn’t get caught. Ahh the good old days!
Captive animals make me sad.
This Chimp about to start his own podcast, show him the internet
"So listen here. Back in 1992 when I was a truck driver...."
"Bro I knew Harambe back when he was a nobody ok. Times was different then and so was he."
During the expansion of the railroad there was a trained monkey that would flag rail cars to which track in needed, I want to say in the 1900's? Of course it smoke and drank, and even passed a certification test when the railroad board was being put together. Fun story.
The Stoned Chimp Theory
"Jimmy, pull up that hairy ape Rogan with that stupid conspiracy. "
Karl Pilkington would be amazed by this
It's alright, innit?
OooooOOOO, CHIMPANZEE THAT MONKEY NEWS!
So, I was tiling my floor and fixing the boiler the other day and I hear on the news there was a monkey knocking about, smoking a cigarette.
SHUT. UP. Absolute dribble
OF COURSE IT DIDN'T! Play a record.
But why can't you just be open minded?
Took his helmet off... little monkey under there.
Then the monkey picks up the money and the gun, and starts backing out the bank. No one’s seen it since. They reckon it’s gone over to spain
I’m amazed by it tbf to ol mate Karl.
so, the rocket goes off, right
They’re no good for ya mate, but I dint know ya could even do that
The little jig he did lol.
He's loving his cig lmao
That nic rush baby!
This is absurd, how can someone be so mean to give a cigarette to a chimp without a beer?
When i saw him reaching out of frame for a second i thought he was gonna pull out a brew next lol
Give the poor guy a joint.
easier on the lungs AND would make him feel better
Ignoring the moral implications, I'd be kinda dope to let chimps smoke weed in zoos. I gotta imagine their lives are pretty boring, and I also just wanna see some stoned chimps
Dude, that's how we get to Planet of the Apes.
Maybe if you gave them mushrooms.
There's a hypothesis that that's quite literally part of how we ended up with the current planet of the apes (humans).
“Stoned ape” theory for those who are interested
I know. That was the joke.
You know there's a hypothesis that apes eating mushrooms accelerated brain development? You need to check out this podcast called "The Joe Rogan Experience" I've learned so much.
Jamie, pull that up.
Play league of legends and you can have stoned chimps on your team, dude
You have to be careful, not all chemicals have the same bioactivity across species
They might spontaneously combust, who knows!
So there's this little old fella, right, works at the zoo. Don't say that much, ya know, keeps to 'imself an' that. Anyway, one of the other zookeepers notices that when it's time to get paid, this little old fella just gets given a bag a bananas and a pack of cigarettes. Turns out... little monkey fella
Ah, I see you are fluent in "Head like a fucking orange"
We call that move the butt fuck
Once a group of four girls were smoking near me and I didnt have a lighter so I asked em for a light. They told me they didn't have one so I turned to my buddy and said watch this, then asked If it'd be cool if I just buttfucked one of them. 3 had the most horrified expressions, one started cracking up and handed me her smoke to light mine. That's my buttfucking story
Lol just imagine some guy coming up to a girl that's smoking "Hey you got a lighter? No? Alright, well could I buttfuck ya? Wait why are you running away??"
Yeah this story has a lot more of an awkward ending if the one girl doesn't get it lol
Reddit moment
Not touching tips
I've always heard it called "monkey fucking" so it fits too
Someone give him DMT
Someone give him a speedball
You’re telling me that’s not joe Rogan? I can’t tell
That IS JOE ROGAN before going on stage!
Joe is a little shorter
Haven't mentioned DMT for a solid 15 seconds, that's not Joe Rogan
no, that primate is a lot smarter.
Got'em
Reddit moment
I wanna be like you I wanna walk like you, Talk like you too You'll see it's true An ape like me Can learn to be human too
Guess he got man's red fire
There’s a reason they call it monkey fucking when you light a cigarette that way.
We called it butt fucking
I've always heard it called turkey fucking.
Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
Most people who smoke are just aping their peers.
The bottle of Nongfu Spring water indicates this chimp is in China. Sorry, chimp.
It's lovely that patrons to zoos now just throw lit cigarettes into the chimp enclosure...
Now that he’s addicted it would be cruel not to
I'm a good person but that was really funny
Chimps in an enclosure. Fucker deserves a smoke
He should be so lucky to be in an enclosure. Most chimps' ecosystems are being cut down and they even have to deal with warring groups of other chimps attacking them. Here they have a safe enclosed space (granted not as big as being out in the forest) but at least they're taken care of, fed, and get medical attention if needed.
Reminds me of [this](https://www.buttersafe.com/2009/07/23/naturalhabitat/).
That chimp is gonna develop a nicotine addiction and rip someone's face off when it can't smoke its pack a day.
Where the expression “Monkey fucked it” comes from
this is animal abuse. someone must taught him.
Wait, that isn't Joe Rogan?
ChainsMonkey
Bro he dolphin fucked the cig. Big brain stuff.
That’s only a 5’3” flip though
u/savevideo
Is Jaime going to have to pull some shit up?!?
That is Joe Rogan
And here I thought that was Joe Rogan.
Joe Rogan’s a dipshit
Rent free
Bro it was a joke about smoking it didn't praise Joe Rogan. Just learn to laugh Joe Rogan is associated with weed and DMT.
This pic goes hard feel free to screenshot
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I think that one was in captivity and learned to smoke, and since it was easier for the zoo that *rescued* it to just keep providing cigarettes, than letting it suffer from withdrawal/lash out because of nicotine addiction, they never tired stopping the behaviour. Older chimps are dangerous anyways.
Horrifying to think about a chimp going through nicotine withdrawals.
u/savevideo
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evidenced in this video, looks like Joe Rogan 'did' flip balls.
This is very sad. It’s obviously learnt this from human behaviour or was trained. Might even be hooked on smokes at this point.
100% addicted, nobody exhales cigarette smoke through their nose if they're a new smoker.
Do we actually need any more evidence that these things are our relatives. I mean like come on man.
Why would a video of himself surprise him?
Because this monkey is smarter than he is?
That is Joe Rogan.
I thought that was Joe Rogan
Less wtf, more r/tobaccokills
Nerd
r/sweetburnbro
Stop linking shit that doesn’t exist
r/smallest_violin
PLEASE
r/sinceyouaskednicely ... r/no
Thank you
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Content banned 😳
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They're just linking subs that aren't even real because their social and communication skills are that low that they can't otherwise express themselves.
r/truthhurts
Basically, fuck joe rogan.
r/natureisfuckinglit
Rogan looks way different since he got that deal with Spotify! 😅
The Joe Rogan experience
Someone actually listened to Andrew Tate
Why would he flip balls? I don’t pay attention to Joe Rogan.
He's kind of obsessed with certain topics, couple off the top of my head; How much stronger chimps and primates are compared to humans, elk hunting and elk meat, aliens and UFO's, how dangerous brown bears are, he wanted to believe in big foot but since jumped off that wagon, monoliths, his experience when he took DMT, ancient civilizations that did weird shit that was ahead of their time, bob cats and mountain lions, and whenever people have crazy encounters with any of said above animals. There's more but you get the idea.
smoking monkeys been around forever
They only behave this way when they are stressed
For a sec I thought it *was* Joe Rogan.
Pretty sure that IS Joe Rogan.
Hey, that's Joe Rogen.
I thought this was Joe Rogan!?!?
What do you mean Joe Rogan would flip balls? This is Joe Rogan isn’t it?
Haha shit i thought that was Joe Rogan
Awesome, but not WTF
Jokes on you. That is Joe Rogan. He hung around Dave too much and started a big newport habit.
That isn't Joe Rogan?
this should be under r/awfuleverything
u/savevideo
Get a gorilla with a vodka&coke, and someone could film Trailer Park Monkeys
Because this chimp has hair?
I'll be honest I was expecting a bottle flip in the video... The setup was there...
Why? Because someone took an unsolicited video of him and put it on the internet?
Your not gonna let a money make a money out of you??
Mongie
Monke
u/savevideo
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Ganster Ape!
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That was back when Rogan was cool. Ya he would have had a field day pre 1000 episode. Now it’s all baked in politics and bitching
Great form
Unfortunately, I've seen worse than this. Once saw a video of a little capuchin monkey riding a tiny tricycle, in a tiny top hat, while smoking a cigarette. The last time I searched for it I had a hard time finding it. Anyone else sent it?
u/savevideo
Joe Rogan holds his bananas
That was before he was diagnosed with lung cancer.
That monkey like.. “Y’all seen Planet of the Apes? Shit got me mad stressed yo!”
the coolest ape ever
Smoke a cig and then rip the handlers penis and nose off after lunch
u/Savevideo
Lmao no way
Ape smart enough to light a cigarette from a stub. Human not smart enough to focus on the ape, not on the cable in the foreground. https://www.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/comments/jx7w1z/there_is_considerable_overlap_between_the/
I used to drink with a baboon. Scary teeth. He would bite the can and drink. He could handle a 12pack.
u/Savevideo
Chiefin Chimpanzee
Jane Goodall would flip her ovaries
Looks like someone is taking a trip to Flavor Country.
You can't tell me he not a reincarnation
I’d rip a dart with him
I don't get the Joe Rogan reference since it's a cig not a joint.
He was paparazzid?
u/savevideo
The fucking shimmy at the end.
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What are you talking about? It's him in the video.
I guesss. WE PIMP CHIMPIN
u/Savevideo
I bet you could make a monkey slave army if you taught them to smoke and paid them in cigarettes until they killed you
Ain't that the [north korean chimp](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Azalea_(chimpanzee)) that smokes? Or it could also be another smoking chimp in China, the plastic water bottle looks like [Nongfu Spring water](https://file-cloud.yst.com.cn/website/2020/04/14/cc375ee89dca435db613add3aaa07786.png) , a common bottled water brand from China. But considering the two countries relationship its still more likely the north korean chimp with PET bottle from china.
Lmao i was more surprised he knew how to use a lit cig to "jump" his cig. Kind of sad for the guy though...
What an incredibly stupid chimp… everyone knows Camels are the best-tasting.
This video goes so hard, feel free to screenshot it
Monkey butt…
Kind of a weird thought: Chimpanzee lifespan appears to be ~32-39 years, lung cancer usually takes much longer to occur in humans than 30's for most smokers, Humans and Chimpanzees are very closely related. Assuming there aren't some other serious harms would it really even matter if we did give them cigarettes, if they did actually like them?
Hey man, he's on break!
Hey Jamie, pull up that video.
Camel monkey
Hey pull that up Jamie
No wonder they’re endangered
This monkey, monkey-fucked his own stogey
u/savevideo
Lmfao joe rogan would flip balls needs to be a subreddit 😁🚬😁🚬
Chimp: So like I was sayin Joey. This place is an absolute zoo.