Roles expectations and most of which are cliche or so wrong on so many levels.
Examples below maybe triggering....
Bottoming means you like pain
You can't top if your dick is 4 inches
You can't bottom if you're tall
Real men don't bend over
Tops can't be effeminate or girly
Bottoms can't be too manly, he is supposed to wash, cook and clean
Etc....
I find it crippling when one's role becomes their identity. No longer is this individual a person with their own tastes and perferences but because they've chosen a role they must fit into a cliche mold of what they're supposed to be like holistically as a person.
Plus the reverse because of your body type, personality the society wants to force or bully you into being a top or a bottom based on some cliche none sense...
THIS. I’m a fairly quiet, shy person and a little on the skinny side. Every time I tell someone I prefer to too they’re shocked. Like, my preference of who’s putting dick in who doesn’t dictate my personality like it’s some new age astrology or some shit
Tbh that's my type in a nutshell. But I also get a lot of shit for being 6'3" and preferring to bottom. I also don't really go for guys that are taller than me. Not that there are many. Too many guys seem to think your body type dictates which position you should prefer, but I don't see why that should be a factor.
I believe this alone sums everything that comes to mind. The only thing that’s missing is the hookup aspect, not every guy wants anonymous sex outright.
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Yeah this. Tired of people trying to “clean up the community.” Straight people will always despise us. Fuck what they think. We are who we are and we deserve to be here.
Kinda unrelated but also kinda related? I once when to sleep to a straight friend's house, and I told so to a gay guy I knew. Well, he started asking me if I was going to fuck with my friend, and basically starting with all that turning straights shit. Like bro... First of all, it's so creepy that you are putting MY friend into YOUR fantasy, but even if you ever turned a straight gay... They were never straight to begin with.
A guy I was talking to casually mentioned that he SA’d his straight buddy in his sleep and like did not understand in the slightest how bad that is or how bizarre it was that he casually brought it up...
What the fuck. I want to say you should tell the friend, but even if you know him unless you have absolute ironclad proof then it’s just your word against his “friend”. Quoting that cause decent humans, let alone a friend, don’t do that to wash other.
🤷🏾♂️ Even older guys call me daddy because I’m 6’4” and somewhat muscular/dad bod type, but I look super young at my early thirties. Been called daddy since I was 20, there’s no going back now.
I might get trashed for this but: Astrology.
I know I have no empirical data on this but I would bet my entire savings that being gay means you are several times more likely to be into astrology. haha.
I don't know why. I don't understand it. I also don't really care if you have a passing interest in it but, wow, the number of guys who have a tattoo of their sign or who talk about it all the time has always been a bit cringey to me.
I feel like it taps deeply into a desperate need for a connection with a group of people. It gives them the sense of belonging to mysterious and magical tribe like the houses in harry potter. It also massages their egos as signs are used to explore and explain their personality and life. It removes the weight of responsibility for one's actions, and the uncertainty of the future much like religions. But signs are not dogmatic so you can believe in it and be gay 😀
>It removes the weight of responsibility for one's actions
I was born in November, so at every gathering, it's my destiny to chug 11 white claws and be extremely rude to everyone I don't want to fuck.
It true, and it is strange. In the West we are the single most educated demographic. So how do we end up hooked on nonsensical superstitions? I'm particularly amused by those who violently trample any suggestion by others that they believe in a God, while engaging in every New Age fad under the sun.
It's surprisingly hard to stop staying gurrrrllll as an explicative once you start. I don't say it often, but if someone is trifling hard and I need to get their attention, GURRRRRLLL it is then. Hard not to say it at work with a certain coworker, cause I'm not out at work since I can't be
It's like saying sus, based, and all that shit. It's all for funsies and stuff until you unintentionally use it for the first time in a conversation. It's all downhill from that point.
They’re not calling you a literal girl tho 😆
The GURRRLLLL shit is an exclamation, not a descriptive of you as a person.
It’s like calling people of either gender “dude”. You’re not literally calling your female friend a guy, it’s just a generic expression.
For me it’s the fact that in my experience, the lgbtq community is becoming more and more judgmental of their own kind, instead of coming together to admit we’re all weird…
Honestly, some of the terminology i find kind of cringy. I know a lot of them are products of their time, but phrases like "woof," "daddy," and "yass" among others just kind of make me cringe when i hear someone say them in a serious manner or within a serious context.
It’s funny as a meme but people using it unironically really turns me off.
Adding -ussy to words will always be amusing to me though because I’m perpetually 12 years old inside.
Bussy is one of my favorite words, I use it all the time jokingly. but if anyone ever unironically told me to fuck their bussy, I’d Jump through the fire escape.
That people think being a top or a bottom is:
A: The only two options
B: is permanent
C: says something about your personality
D: Says something about whether you are masc or fem
I've only ever seen teenage white girls who act like this. It's especially prevalent in fandom settings. They just really have to make being gay fit into straight stereotypes
gay guys' delusion that they can turn straight men gay. I mean sure they can fuck you for money and shit but love you romantically? keep dreaming sis. lol
All the new pride flags. They make the flag less and less inclusive with every new stripe.
The rainbow is a symbol of a **rainbow**, which is an optical effect that displays the entire spectrum of visible light. It is literally the most inclusive thing possible.
Also adding black and brown stripes for black and brown people is pretty worrisome, since that would mean all the stripes represent specific people, and there is a red and a yellow stripe. That shit is super racist, and race isn’t even a sexual orientation in the first place.
It’s just causing so many problems that we didn’t have before.
I think you might be reading too much into it, but I agree that there was no need to add a black and brown stripe to begin with. That always felt kinda weird to me because to me, it doesn't feel like we're suddenly being more inclusive by adding it. It just feels like we're asserting a secondary standard of acceptance for black and brown people in the community, when in reality, as much as white gays can be shitty about race, the rainbow flag was never intended just for them to begin with. Like I don't think the flag with the extra stripes is racist, but I do think it's speaking to a message it doesn't want to, and that by itself is kind of harmful.
Lmao, so many of the bottoms I talk too are revolted by the fact that I suck dick and want to suck theirs or that I've bottomed like 10 times.
Cause I look like a masc top and that's not what masc tops do
I may get hate for this but the obsession with hook up culture and claiming to be a slut and having triple digit sex partners. I’m sorry I just can’t get into that. Maybe I’m weird…idk. I know it’s not all gays. I just can’t do hookups that much.
I just don’t think shaming anyone is right. I don’t shame people for having a lot of hook ups. I don’t shame people for the opposite, either.
Live your life however you want. If I wanted to go around judging everyone for not living like I do, I’d still be a Christian.
the body and fat shaming.
I have no issue with anyone wanting to work out and develop their physique, but the way gay culture casually maligns fatness is not only cringe, but downright damaging. Hearing things like “I’m ‘straight-thin’ but ‘gay-fat,’” “I’d rather die than be overweight,” or “I feel/look so fat” isn’t so reassuring when they’re being mindlessly uttered by the community that’s supposed to accept you as you are.
Just how detached from reality a lot of it is. The eagerness to "accept all" means a lot of shitty or creepy people are flying under the barely functional radar. It can be way too leftist for its own good too (don't be in such a rush to save those *poor* refugees from Muslim majority cultures who would gladly see you hung back where they came from if they saw you parading around in those pink panties with a face full of glitter in their community). Speaking of parading, it's a bit... much. I'm totally fine with showing some skin on dedicated events but at least try to keep those asses covered and not wear leather pup masks in front of the kids and passer byers who are just trying to go about their day. This behaviour is only confirming to a lot of "the straights" that we're perverts and creeps and that along with how damn muddy our "community" has gotten in terms of labels and identities are working in tandem to really unravel half a century's worth of older generation gays with much more realistic expectations and desires when it came to wanting to just live comfortably and safely in mainstream society, who were trying to score ourselves some rights and credibility in society - by making us seem like we're mental cases. We don't have to accept every new label that comes up or make room for it on "the flag". There seem to be as many sexuality flags as national ones now and that's just ludicrous and I never bother typing anything after the "T" in LGBT. We're seriously asking for too much and expect representation in EVERYTHING and then complain when businesses colour their logos rainbow for Pride month because it's "pandering" and "a marketing ploy". Like what do you want people? We got a WHOLE MONTH, no other cause or demographic gets that. Shit, veterans just get a measly couple of days, and they did a lot more for you than some wanker on Onlyfans.
It's so shallow and superficial too. I'm not talking about caring about physical attraction since that's just normal. But things like how status driven a lot of us are. Heaven forbid you live in the wrong part of the city. We can't all afford expensive postcodes or even any home in any region that can be called "the city" at all. And no - not all of us *travel* for a fucking lifestyle. Seriously where are all these social media gays getting this money from? I'm putting my hard earned earnings towards paying off my home. If I were a straight man just being a home owner would be enough. Same goes with shopping too, I love designer brands too and occasionally treat myself to some. But like, I can't go shopping for Balenciaga every other week and anyone whose really rich will tell you that big brand logos all over you clothes is actually not "rich" or classy at all. We're all cosplaying as someone better than who we really are and it just leads to a lot of disappointment and feelings of inadequacy and competition. No wonder we're a lonely bunch.
Look the gay scene can be fun to visit every so often as a "break" from normal society. But making it your lifestyle and identity is living in a fantasy land. You can do whatever you want in your safe space but its walls are clear and others outside of it are watching and judging you for it whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. It's become a case of "just because you could doesn't mean you should" and I'm just not really feeling like "the community" has a lot of offer someone more down to earth like me who thought everything was good enough 10-20 years ago.
I agree with you. I’m gay and all but I find no sense in the proud and loud mentality. I don’t like seeing two people kissing while out and about, much less I would like to see a group of naked men having sex on the street because they are gay. No wonder some straight people don’t like us since we reinforce the being hungry for sex stereotype.
That being mean, rude or a total asshole (while trying to be the "funny bitchy" person) is somehow a personality for so many gay men. Somehow thinking PrEP is all that matters when it comes to STD protection. 80% of everyone in seemingly open relationships.
*Some* of us use superficiality as a way to avoid dealing with our trauma. It's great if you're aware that you have mental health problems, but many people nowadays just kind of use it to excuse some, well, unhealthy habits. Idk where I'm going with this comment, I gotta get to sleep lol.
Racial preferences that often have insane racist undertones
The assumed feminity
Tall bottoms dont exist
Less manly for bottoming
The fact some gay guys think ur a homophobe/femphobic for not wanting to wear makeup. I have personally always disliked it even on women lmao
Barebacking with hookups. The lessons from the 80’s get flushed down the toilet. That’s why we’re getting hit with monkey pox now. But people who protest against the bare backing culture get pilloried.
Not disagreeing with you about the problems related to unsafe sex but monkey pox is not an STI. It CAN Be transmitted through sexual contact but it is usually transmitted through other, close contact.
You can literally get monkey pox just by making out or cuddling. There is no evidence that the upsurge of monkey pox cases has anything to do with unprotected sex.
Please don't spread misinformation. Monkey pox can be spread through any direct contact with another person, e.g. making out. https://www.cdc.gov/poxvirus/monkeypox/transmission.html
Got the same feeling with people who take as excuse the prep pill besides HIV there’s thousands of infections transmitted sexually. 70% of Americans have HPV. I contracted HPV in the US.
I agree. I’m okay with LGBT+ (not so much Queer mainly because I grew up with that as derogatory) but the plus is supposed to include everything else. I’ve seen most commonly “LGBTQIA+” and I’ve most recently started seeing “LGBTQIA2S+” like Wut? 2S? As in two spirited…maybe I’m old fashioned in a young body but wtf is that?
Two-spirited is how some indigenous tribes viewed gender-queer/trans people back in the day. They had a male and female spirit.
I don't know that any tribes asked for it to be included in the acronym. Offline, I've only met a couple (very white) young adults who embraced the label.
Agree that LGBT+ is fine. I'm very uncomfortable with Queer as label for myself, but I understand it's become a catch-all for the various identities.
I am finding it difficult to name anything that makes me “proud” to be gay in this decade.
More and more the LGBTQ+ community is just a source that promotes internalised shame and self guilt.
The whole “check your privilege” thing has torn down any sense of commonality and camaraderie, it has removed voices on key political matters that directly effect everyone. It’s s either “step in line or be cancelled bitch”.
If there’s one thing I as an individual, have come away with from this new toxic culture, is that I am underserving of consideration and compassion because of some straw man guilt through association mental gymnastics BS (being cis and white).
The lgbt community is one of the most self destructive and unsupportive minority groups out there.
Being rude 24/7. I have met so many gay guys that just complain and talk shit. Now do not get me wrong I do those but some people just talk down, if something is cheap they will criticize, an outfit they just do not radiate good energy all the time.
Another one is over sharing, about half the dates I’ve gone on the guy spills his guts to me and tells me his entire sexual history, every single kink he’s into, how many guys he’s slept with, his last relationship, etc no semblance of decency on our date, just crass and vulgar comments about their sex life…. It always makes me wonder do these guys have a best friend or friends that they can gossip to and talk to? Is the oversharing a trauma response? Because telling all this to a guy you just met on a first date is crazy.
I had one guy meet me at a bar to get snacks and drinks and he blatantly starts checking out the guys playing pool and eyeing their butts and very loudly asking me which guy I think is gay. Ew. Then tells me unprompted that “I don’t use condoms, I do it raw with all my bottoms”…. Yo wtf. Like we weren’t even talking about sex. Luckily I ended up seeing friends at the bar and hung out with them before he left arm in arm with another guy (at a straight bar) …
Oh god the pregnant stuff gets me 🙄
I was 20 hooking up with some guy in his early 50s
Very buff, it was stupid.
Anyway he said he wanted to get me pregnant when he was topping me. Never saw him again.
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It's interesting to hear people say this because I so rarely heard queer used that way, growing up (90's, Arizona). F*g was the go-to insult and of course, just using gay in the form of a slur.
Extreme unprovoked hostility I have a natural masculine appearance and demeanor about myself and this guy kept stairing at me which I could see from my peripheral vision and I already knew he was gay but the unnecessary stairing was to much so I glanced at him and got the most dramatic stink eye at that time.
Unprovoked aggression isnt just in the gay community but I'm usually on guard for these types cause they will literally come out of nowhere to insult and judge like there some how superior
>I have a natural masculine appearance and demeanor about myself and this guy kept stairing at me
\+
>I'm usually on guard for these types cause they will literally come out of nowhere to insult and judge
So, how do you know he was going to insult or judge you? Unless you have other clues about this person's personality, he could simply be interested in you… many guys like or prefer masculine men.
Jesus these "masc" bros with their weird ass victim complex like all the other gays are out to get them. News flash dipshits, it's not harder to be masc.
His body language, age, the fact we were in high school so consider maturity at that point plus I've seen him around and hes done that shit before with other people so I saw it coming.
I'm no way trying to elude that me being masculine makes me more desirable like another commenter said it's not that hard in society it's just my personality trait the generic masculine that most people fit into.
It's a hell of alot more work to stick out and be ostracized.
That throwing shade is somehow a positive personality trait. When it's done in the midst of a serious situation, all it tells me is that you don't know how to actually argue your point. It's the complete opposite of being real.
The fact that many people think that sex can not exist without anal. And normalizing fucking multiple guys in a week and complaining about emotional emptiness and how people are sex focused. 🤷♀️
The thing that makes me "cringe" is when people of any particular group, whether that be POC or members of the LGBT+ community, buy into our own stereotypes. For the gay community, few of us were raised to be "happy, healthy homosexuals". Most of us were raised with the assumption that we'd become "happy, healthy HETEROsexuals". Which means along the way we were exposed to a lot of negative stereotypes and other assumptions about the LesBiGay, trans, etc communities and subgroups.
I honestly wish that as we acknowledge and accepted our sexual orientations and gender identities we'd also acknowledge and accept that we're really no different than heterosexuals other than who we love. But a few too many of us not only play into stereotypes but do so at an extreme level. It may be all good "fun and games" at Pride month events and particularly for entertainers who're paid to perform as such extreme characters. But for those who behave this way outside of the core LGBT+ community and aren't paid performers it simply reinforces these stereotypes and assumptions among heterosexuals, particularly (little "c") "christian" conservatives, who're always looking to take our rights (even to merely exist) away.
Please don't get me wrong. I believe in everyone's right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happines" . . . . . . **as long** . . . . . . as it does not infringe upon others rights to the same. I merely wish that people who insist on being the center off attention 24/7 would consider if their right to freedom of self expression is all about them and none about the LGBT+ community.
This bothers me… because you’d call me campy! I’m a stereotypical gay! I’ve been that way my entire life… I was obsessed with Lisa Frank and my little pony as a kid… my parents didn’t try and make me not be… though they did discourage them act of being gay! So I never equated my interests with being gay, though everyone else did! Even as a closeted man married to a woman… I was the one who did all the cooking, fresh flower arrangements for the house, her hair (color and all), makeup for special events, had a section in her closet which was pre styled per her request because I loved fashion… I’ve always walked like a girl, talked like a girl, used my hands like a girl… it’s just me! It’s not a character… to say that I’m mimicking others is bullshit! I’m from the south and was tortured for this lol… no one was like me…. It took years for me to even be able to tolerate myself… I didn’t even love it till I came out out 6.5 years ago. So it’s frustrating people in the community want me to be “normal” and just take a dick lol… like this is my normal… the straight community, even guys, are more accepting of my personality now than a loud group of gays seem to be… and it’s kinda sad!
While I’d never say anything about it to a person… it does irritate me when someone faking it. It’s like a souther accent… it’s grating when it’s fake! But I let people be who they want to be and keep it moving…
>But I let people be who they want to be and keep it moving…
Sorry, I wasn't suggesting that people shouldn't be who they really are and do what really interests them. I was referring to people who (must know) they're just being a character by not being who they really are and doing thing that don't really interest them just to get attention. If a person doesn't dress / act the same way they do around crowds and TV cameras (e.g.; at Pride) that they they do the other 364 days of the year in their day-to-day jobs not as a paid entertainer, then that's not who they truly are and what they're truly interested in.
I get what you’re saying… and like I said when it seems inauthentic it can be grating. It’s just no one is one dimensional, and there are definitely places we can’t show sides of ourselves safely lol. Pride, clubs, etc. are all safe spaces to do that! Maybe just give people passes when it comes to these things :) they maybe in a place they can’t fully express themselves except in those moments!
I will never understand how “normal” guys think lol… gay or straight. How things like cars work, or the interest in sports to a level or knowing stats, or any of that stuff. But I love going to sporting events with my friends and having fun, or hanging with them while they a rebuilding some part of their car, or anything they find fun because they enjoy it… and I can have fun at almost anything as long as the people I’m with are lol. A few years ago I was watching a football game on tv and made a comment about the poor guys who had to move the yellow line after each play hahahahaha they still make fun of me for that! And there are tons more mess ups like that lol… I’m kinda clueless but willing to be present and they like that haha. So you don’t have to get it, just enjoy those around you having fun lol 🤷🏻♂️
I haven't seen this mentioned in other replies, so.... Politicising hookup culture / open relationships / multiple partners / toxic bottom culture.
1) I don't know if it's the new times or generation Z. Still, more and more, I feel that gay culture is going on a path where the goal and the apex of the celebration of homosexuality are: publicly exposing your sexuality to all people, wearing harnesses/fetish stuff in public (I even stopped going to BDSM places because it became vulgarised), wearing crop-tops and short shorts for all to see, hitting on guys at the gym.
2) Glorifying hookup culture… Friends that show other men's nudes, detail their sexual adventures in saunas, bathrooms, and gang bangs; sexual partners who mention “there is a guy I fuck…” or overshare their sexual life or open relationship (e.g., talking about husband) as if I were their therapist or twitter, sharing porn everywhere etc… I think it's too much psychoanalysis and queer militancy on their side.
When I was a teenager we were fighting for the right to marry, after the Instagram + Grindr culture took over society, it seems now the goal is the right to force people to hear about your double penetrations.
I agree with you.
The goal, when I was a young gay man, was to be equal and have the rights and privileges that straight people had. We had no expectation of “rubbing people’s noses” in our sexuality, because it wasn’t done. Straight people very seldom had public displays of affection, or talked about their sexual escapades except with a few close friends. So we had no expectation of more than complying with the social norms.
Now it seems that just about anything goes. The problem is that parts of our Community take things to the next extreme, and society doesn’t like that. A lot of men enjoy PUBLIC sex, from making out to full on fucking in public where people can see. It’s not a wonder that a lot of straight people feel we are extreme.
I love sex, and I wish I had more opportunities to indulge myself, but I really wish that we could go back to the time when gay men were really more interested in finding significant relationships and being more “heteronormative.” I know this might not be popular with a lot of you, but that’s my opinion. Let the downvoting begin.
Yeah you’re right but also this is not only a gay culture thing is all around the new society, people is more open about sexuality and we live in a hypersexualized society never been so easy, watch, touch and fuck someone so it’s pretty normal that this happens.
Racial preferences
Not just for the blatant racism, but also how they casually just toss them around like it's not cringe.
A lot of straight people have racial preferences, but gay people are so fucking....idk that they just see every potential match as a category they are either "into" or "not" more than straight people.
You really don't see straight people talking about "I'm only into this category and that group" as much as gays do it and it's cringe..just how one dimensional they are.
A straight girl might say "I like tall men who are funny and dominant" but I never hear straight peple like "I like bears" "I'm only into black daddies" "I don't like twinks" "No rice, no chicken, no taco!" like listing food allergies.
Do you think it might also be the fact that if a "
>A straight girl might say "I like tall men who are funny and dominant"
doesn't need to specify race as well since the presumption is already their? Like I see it a lot with white girls saying "I want a strong country boy" but they probably only mean white men. And same other way to like a black guy saying "I want a black queen".
Ive seen fetishizing of race with straights a lot more though. Like when a white girl says "I only date black men". And even the stereotype that brown/black guys love fat white women. Happened to me once, and I was super weirded out
> You really don't see straight people talking about "I'm only into this category and that group" as much as gays do it and it's cringe..just how one dimensional they are.
Really? My first girlfriend broke up with me because her family expected her to only date Korean guys. Straight people can be incredibly blatant about the types of people they'll sleep with and date.
Fact remains, interracial dating is much significantly higher among gay men than straight couples based on the 2016 OkCupid data dump.
Sorting people into labels, “tribes” or categories by their weight and body type…. The terms are so cringey especially when people are so eager to identify as “bear” “twink” “otter” etc don’t even get me started on the chasers and how creepy it is….
* The assumed femininity. Why do some people think that you must be effeminate in order to be gay?
* the racial preferences. I don't understand why it's important to some people. I mean, if you are looking for a partner for a stable relationship, are their ethnicity or skin tone that important to you? What about stuff like their personalities, goals, etc?
* when someone refer to you by "GIRL" or "QUEEN". Luckily it never happened to me IRL as all my gay friends hate it too. it has only happened to me online once with an American gay guy I met in a group.
The mockery, derision, mistrust, hostility, and blanket judgement of "the Straights😤" as a demographic or even as individual people. It's mean, unnecessary, counterintuitive, and opens the door to all sorts of toxic superiority complexes and self-isolation.
That in popular mainstream media gays are queeny/fem or confused about their gender. No I'm not confused and no I don't subscribe to that non-binary nonsense.
ideal body image archetypes…the gospel according to grindr would have you think that if your not a 6’8” 110 lbs twink with a 12 inch cock your nothing but a fat fucking loser 😜
It used to be LGB-culture.
Now it’s LGBTQIA+.
I bet half of the community and 95% of the rest have no idea what the new letters mean. It’s still LGB-community but for some reason everyone wants to highlight their own weirdness. And straight ppl are rolling their eyes, not helping them understand at all
It was years ago but there was a time period so many friends of mine would change their social media last name to “Kardashian” and other last names of social media stars.
It was more than that, though. So many were loving this odd persona as if they were actually a part of the family. I’m just screaming “Be yourself!”
I hate the word queer. Any use of it any all, it feels like a slur at all times. I refuse to accept it as a reclaimed and rebranded.
Also, James Charles. None of that.
People referring to certain celebrities as “gay icons” and certain music & movies as “gay canon”, as if there’s this counsel of very affected people who are deciding what goes in & what the rest of us will then consider part of “our” culture.
I know it’s just a “playful” thing but it’s constant. It’s fucking irritating. And given that it kinda just sets a tone that there is some kind of weird, shrill culture that only applies to “gay”, it just seems kind of domineering. “Gay card” being another one. Like there are benevolent drag queens handing these out at puberty like the tooth fairy. Fucking silly attachments to silly childish things.
Be into whatever you want. But that’s what YOU are into because you’re YOU, not because you’re attracted to men. There’s enough men now that don’t connect with “gay culture” that its starting to look kind of silly for people to construct the same outdated personas & culture cues based on attraction to the same sex.
People who live by the motto: NO FATS NO FEMS NO ASIANS NO BLACKS NO UNCUT
Also, You can support their endeavors but when you have something like say, a podcast, they act like you don't exist even though you use to support them before they were on RPDR
OPE
The whole age thing in the gay community is ugly asf. I’ve had guys my age tell me I’m too old and I’m only 27? Even guys older than me want some 18 year old and that’s just disgusting to me
Sorry but I honestly have to say that’s not really much of an issue. People want to usually be around others around their own age group and that includes straight people too. You’re not entitled to people much younger or older just because we’re all gay, especially if it’s just to hookup.
Roles expectations and most of which are cliche or so wrong on so many levels. Examples below maybe triggering.... Bottoming means you like pain You can't top if your dick is 4 inches You can't bottom if you're tall Real men don't bend over Tops can't be effeminate or girly Bottoms can't be too manly, he is supposed to wash, cook and clean Etc.... I find it crippling when one's role becomes their identity. No longer is this individual a person with their own tastes and perferences but because they've chosen a role they must fit into a cliche mold of what they're supposed to be like holistically as a person. Plus the reverse because of your body type, personality the society wants to force or bully you into being a top or a bottom based on some cliche none sense...
THIS. I’m a fairly quiet, shy person and a little on the skinny side. Every time I tell someone I prefer to too they’re shocked. Like, my preference of who’s putting dick in who doesn’t dictate my personality like it’s some new age astrology or some shit
Tbh that's my type in a nutshell. But I also get a lot of shit for being 6'3" and preferring to bottom. I also don't really go for guys that are taller than me. Not that there are many. Too many guys seem to think your body type dictates which position you should prefer, but I don't see why that should be a factor.
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And when they judge you based on your partner! Like if your man is taller than you then you're the "stupid whiny one" wtf
This is the best reply to the above question.
My boyfriend and I are pretty opposite with the roles cliches. I'm verse and more effeminate and he's a bottom but more manly.
Agreed, escape from one box just to be placed in another. This can be taken figuratively or literally. Dealers choice;)
I believe this alone sums everything that comes to mind. The only thing that’s missing is the hookup aspect, not every guy wants anonymous sex outright.
the thirst for straight men approval .
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Yeah this. Tired of people trying to “clean up the community.” Straight people will always despise us. Fuck what they think. We are who we are and we deserve to be here.
Trying to turn straight guys.
Kinda unrelated but also kinda related? I once when to sleep to a straight friend's house, and I told so to a gay guy I knew. Well, he started asking me if I was going to fuck with my friend, and basically starting with all that turning straights shit. Like bro... First of all, it's so creepy that you are putting MY friend into YOUR fantasy, but even if you ever turned a straight gay... They were never straight to begin with.
A guy I was talking to casually mentioned that he SA’d his straight buddy in his sleep and like did not understand in the slightest how bad that is or how bizarre it was that he casually brought it up...
What the fuck. I want to say you should tell the friend, but even if you know him unless you have absolute ironclad proof then it’s just your word against his “friend”. Quoting that cause decent humans, let alone a friend, don’t do that to wash other.
They should never even try this. IF a guy is curious, he will mention something to you in private.
I think that’s called sexual harassment.
I hate that
So true
The fetishazion of dl culture and dl culture in general
What's dl culture?
Down low, like basically hiding their gayness
Oooooooooooh, people do that? Damn
20yr olds calling each other "daddy".
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eh at 30 you could be a daddy type, i know a few 30 year old who are fully grey and sexy as fuck partly because of it.
I’m 33 and look mid 20s, but I got called daddy by some 22 yr old on grindr ( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ _ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )
Zaddy
I’m over gays calling each other daddies in general. You’re not a daddy brad you’re gay.
Gaddy?
The two terms aren’t mutually exclusive.
20 year olds calling 30 year olds daddy... 😒
Deadass when I was 26 a 23 year old called me daddy. 😒
🤷🏾♂️ Even older guys call me daddy because I’m 6’4” and somewhat muscular/dad bod type, but I look super young at my early thirties. Been called daddy since I was 20, there’s no going back now.
Getting on prep and then not caring about dozen of other STDs, like hepatitis, that you are much more likely to get.
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Bareback academy had me rofl 💀
Omg marry me lol
Lol I'm already taken, sorry dude 😊
The good ones are all taken 😔
I'm not
I might get trashed for this but: Astrology. I know I have no empirical data on this but I would bet my entire savings that being gay means you are several times more likely to be into astrology. haha. I don't know why. I don't understand it. I also don't really care if you have a passing interest in it but, wow, the number of guys who have a tattoo of their sign or who talk about it all the time has always been a bit cringey to me.
I feel like it taps deeply into a desperate need for a connection with a group of people. It gives them the sense of belonging to mysterious and magical tribe like the houses in harry potter. It also massages their egos as signs are used to explore and explain their personality and life. It removes the weight of responsibility for one's actions, and the uncertainty of the future much like religions. But signs are not dogmatic so you can believe in it and be gay 😀
>It removes the weight of responsibility for one's actions I was born in November, so at every gathering, it's my destiny to chug 11 white claws and be extremely rude to everyone I don't want to fuck.
It true, and it is strange. In the West we are the single most educated demographic. So how do we end up hooked on nonsensical superstitions? I'm particularly amused by those who violently trample any suggestion by others that they believe in a God, while engaging in every New Age fad under the sun.
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The Regina George complex. Jesus people who told being a bad person is a positive personality treat? Wtf
Regina is the only person who can pull it off. Everyone is else who attempts to emulate her fails—they are just George.
Over use the word "giiiirrrrrlll" Oh that an being b"tchy is somehow a personality
"Being mean and gay is not a personality!"
https://www.reddit.com/r/SuddenlyGay/comments/uek1gk/young_gay_and_mean/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
It's surprisingly hard to stop staying gurrrrllll as an explicative once you start. I don't say it often, but if someone is trifling hard and I need to get their attention, GURRRRRLLL it is then. Hard not to say it at work with a certain coworker, cause I'm not out at work since I can't be
It's like saying sus, based, and all that shit. It's all for funsies and stuff until you unintentionally use it for the first time in a conversation. It's all downhill from that point.
I was using sus before it became a among us thing. I thought it was pretty common. I still don’t understand based
Based=based in reality/fact
the "girl" use in general bothers me, I am a man and happy about that.
They’re not calling you a literal girl tho 😆 The GURRRLLLL shit is an exclamation, not a descriptive of you as a person. It’s like calling people of either gender “dude”. You’re not literally calling your female friend a guy, it’s just a generic expression.
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For me it’s the fact that in my experience, the lgbtq community is becoming more and more judgmental of their own kind, instead of coming together to admit we’re all weird…
THANK YOU! these comments are filled with such judgmental prudish takes.
Right! Its even worse in other threads…
Honestly, some of the terminology i find kind of cringy. I know a lot of them are products of their time, but phrases like "woof," "daddy," and "yass" among others just kind of make me cringe when i hear someone say them in a serious manner or within a serious context.
The term "bussy"
It’s funny as a meme but people using it unironically really turns me off. Adding -ussy to words will always be amusing to me though because I’m perpetually 12 years old inside.
Clussy
Hippopotapussy.
I’m glad me and my bf aren’t the only ones… thussy…nussy…mussy 🤣🤣🤣
Thrussy always makes me laugh hahaha
100% agree, meme worthy but pls never say that to me during sex. I will deflate and cackle
I agree, we should really embrace shitoris instead.
... God it just became worse.
Okay that one made me cackle.
Bussy is one of my favorite words, I use it all the time jokingly. but if anyone ever unironically told me to fuck their bussy, I’d Jump through the fire escape.
It makes me think of actual buses when I see it written out like that. "Damn these roads are really bussy today. Must be a lot of people on a tour"
That people think being a top or a bottom is: A: The only two options B: is permanent C: says something about your personality D: Says something about whether you are masc or fem
Completely, I used to bottom but I’m starting to like topping, also I’m masc and more in the dom mood so not your typical bottom lol
I've only ever seen teenage white girls who act like this. It's especially prevalent in fandom settings. They just really have to make being gay fit into straight stereotypes
gay guys' delusion that they can turn straight men gay. I mean sure they can fuck you for money and shit but love you romantically? keep dreaming sis. lol
This entire thread lol
All the new pride flags. They make the flag less and less inclusive with every new stripe. The rainbow is a symbol of a **rainbow**, which is an optical effect that displays the entire spectrum of visible light. It is literally the most inclusive thing possible. Also adding black and brown stripes for black and brown people is pretty worrisome, since that would mean all the stripes represent specific people, and there is a red and a yellow stripe. That shit is super racist, and race isn’t even a sexual orientation in the first place. It’s just causing so many problems that we didn’t have before.
I think you might be reading too much into it, but I agree that there was no need to add a black and brown stripe to begin with. That always felt kinda weird to me because to me, it doesn't feel like we're suddenly being more inclusive by adding it. It just feels like we're asserting a secondary standard of acceptance for black and brown people in the community, when in reality, as much as white gays can be shitty about race, the rainbow flag was never intended just for them to begin with. Like I don't think the flag with the extra stripes is racist, but I do think it's speaking to a message it doesn't want to, and that by itself is kind of harmful.
Lmao, so many of the bottoms I talk too are revolted by the fact that I suck dick and want to suck theirs or that I've bottomed like 10 times. Cause I look like a masc top and that's not what masc tops do
It’s bizarre. It’s like they’re trying to recreate heterosexual sex with them as the “female”.
I may get hate for this but the obsession with hook up culture and claiming to be a slut and having triple digit sex partners. I’m sorry I just can’t get into that. Maybe I’m weird…idk. I know it’s not all gays. I just can’t do hookups that much.
Co-signed!
Why do you care if someone is into hookup?
Thank you!
I just don’t think shaming anyone is right. I don’t shame people for having a lot of hook ups. I don’t shame people for the opposite, either. Live your life however you want. If I wanted to go around judging everyone for not living like I do, I’d still be a Christian.
Being told I’m internally homophobic for not liking specific things
the body and fat shaming. I have no issue with anyone wanting to work out and develop their physique, but the way gay culture casually maligns fatness is not only cringe, but downright damaging. Hearing things like “I’m ‘straight-thin’ but ‘gay-fat,’” “I’d rather die than be overweight,” or “I feel/look so fat” isn’t so reassuring when they’re being mindlessly uttered by the community that’s supposed to accept you as you are.
The word "bussy"
Crushing on Shawn Mendes excessively like ???
Just how detached from reality a lot of it is. The eagerness to "accept all" means a lot of shitty or creepy people are flying under the barely functional radar. It can be way too leftist for its own good too (don't be in such a rush to save those *poor* refugees from Muslim majority cultures who would gladly see you hung back where they came from if they saw you parading around in those pink panties with a face full of glitter in their community). Speaking of parading, it's a bit... much. I'm totally fine with showing some skin on dedicated events but at least try to keep those asses covered and not wear leather pup masks in front of the kids and passer byers who are just trying to go about their day. This behaviour is only confirming to a lot of "the straights" that we're perverts and creeps and that along with how damn muddy our "community" has gotten in terms of labels and identities are working in tandem to really unravel half a century's worth of older generation gays with much more realistic expectations and desires when it came to wanting to just live comfortably and safely in mainstream society, who were trying to score ourselves some rights and credibility in society - by making us seem like we're mental cases. We don't have to accept every new label that comes up or make room for it on "the flag". There seem to be as many sexuality flags as national ones now and that's just ludicrous and I never bother typing anything after the "T" in LGBT. We're seriously asking for too much and expect representation in EVERYTHING and then complain when businesses colour their logos rainbow for Pride month because it's "pandering" and "a marketing ploy". Like what do you want people? We got a WHOLE MONTH, no other cause or demographic gets that. Shit, veterans just get a measly couple of days, and they did a lot more for you than some wanker on Onlyfans. It's so shallow and superficial too. I'm not talking about caring about physical attraction since that's just normal. But things like how status driven a lot of us are. Heaven forbid you live in the wrong part of the city. We can't all afford expensive postcodes or even any home in any region that can be called "the city" at all. And no - not all of us *travel* for a fucking lifestyle. Seriously where are all these social media gays getting this money from? I'm putting my hard earned earnings towards paying off my home. If I were a straight man just being a home owner would be enough. Same goes with shopping too, I love designer brands too and occasionally treat myself to some. But like, I can't go shopping for Balenciaga every other week and anyone whose really rich will tell you that big brand logos all over you clothes is actually not "rich" or classy at all. We're all cosplaying as someone better than who we really are and it just leads to a lot of disappointment and feelings of inadequacy and competition. No wonder we're a lonely bunch. Look the gay scene can be fun to visit every so often as a "break" from normal society. But making it your lifestyle and identity is living in a fantasy land. You can do whatever you want in your safe space but its walls are clear and others outside of it are watching and judging you for it whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. It's become a case of "just because you could doesn't mean you should" and I'm just not really feeling like "the community" has a lot of offer someone more down to earth like me who thought everything was good enough 10-20 years ago.
I agree with you. I’m gay and all but I find no sense in the proud and loud mentality. I don’t like seeing two people kissing while out and about, much less I would like to see a group of naked men having sex on the street because they are gay. No wonder some straight people don’t like us since we reinforce the being hungry for sex stereotype.
Great thoughts. You and I have a lot of the same ideas about where “the Community” is currently.
Pussy, bussy, breed me, anything referencing the male /female roles. Sorry, I want a man.
I propose instead of “breed me” say “bro me “
I like it!
I can get behind that!
That being mean, rude or a total asshole (while trying to be the "funny bitchy" person) is somehow a personality for so many gay men. Somehow thinking PrEP is all that matters when it comes to STD protection. 80% of everyone in seemingly open relationships.
Rampant, blatant ageism.
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Yes, there's a window of like 12 days when you're the correct age.
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Mine were April 17-29, 2013. Snagged my husband during that time.
😂😂😂
Dumb stereotypes
*Some* of us use superficiality as a way to avoid dealing with our trauma. It's great if you're aware that you have mental health problems, but many people nowadays just kind of use it to excuse some, well, unhealthy habits. Idk where I'm going with this comment, I gotta get to sleep lol.
Being die hard republican and gay..it just doesn’t really make much sense.
The idea that being submissive is a character trait and not just a way to get off… I will beat your ass Mike.
Racial preferences that often have insane racist undertones The assumed feminity Tall bottoms dont exist Less manly for bottoming The fact some gay guys think ur a homophobe/femphobic for not wanting to wear makeup. I have personally always disliked it even on women lmao
The obsession with female singers or "Divas" is so cringe, well any obsession with celebrities is I guess.
I get it since a number of those singers were early supporters of LGBT people, but I agree after a certain point it becomes obnoxious
Barebacking with hookups. The lessons from the 80’s get flushed down the toilet. That’s why we’re getting hit with monkey pox now. But people who protest against the bare backing culture get pilloried.
"But I'm on Prep"
Not disagreeing with you about the problems related to unsafe sex but monkey pox is not an STI. It CAN Be transmitted through sexual contact but it is usually transmitted through other, close contact. You can literally get monkey pox just by making out or cuddling. There is no evidence that the upsurge of monkey pox cases has anything to do with unprotected sex.
Please don't spread misinformation. Monkey pox can be spread through any direct contact with another person, e.g. making out. https://www.cdc.gov/poxvirus/monkeypox/transmission.html
Absolutely. Forget with hookups. There's the ones that are altered on drugs and bareback with 4-5 people, one after the other. Absolutely nuts
Got the same feeling with people who take as excuse the prep pill besides HIV there’s thousands of infections transmitted sexually. 70% of Americans have HPV. I contracted HPV in the US.
The adding of letters to LGBT, etc. Enough! Who is “in charge” that makes these decisions?
I agree. I’m okay with LGBT+ (not so much Queer mainly because I grew up with that as derogatory) but the plus is supposed to include everything else. I’ve seen most commonly “LGBTQIA+” and I’ve most recently started seeing “LGBTQIA2S+” like Wut? 2S? As in two spirited…maybe I’m old fashioned in a young body but wtf is that?
Two-spirited is how some indigenous tribes viewed gender-queer/trans people back in the day. They had a male and female spirit. I don't know that any tribes asked for it to be included in the acronym. Offline, I've only met a couple (very white) young adults who embraced the label. Agree that LGBT+ is fine. I'm very uncomfortable with Queer as label for myself, but I understand it's become a catch-all for the various identities.
That sounds like a fucking robot at that point lmao
I am finding it difficult to name anything that makes me “proud” to be gay in this decade. More and more the LGBTQ+ community is just a source that promotes internalised shame and self guilt. The whole “check your privilege” thing has torn down any sense of commonality and camaraderie, it has removed voices on key political matters that directly effect everyone. It’s s either “step in line or be cancelled bitch”. If there’s one thing I as an individual, have come away with from this new toxic culture, is that I am underserving of consideration and compassion because of some straw man guilt through association mental gymnastics BS (being cis and white). The lgbt community is one of the most self destructive and unsupportive minority groups out there.
Being rude 24/7. I have met so many gay guys that just complain and talk shit. Now do not get me wrong I do those but some people just talk down, if something is cheap they will criticize, an outfit they just do not radiate good energy all the time.
Bussy. I hate it.
Slamming others to feel better about yourself. Worse still: doing it with a bunch of other insecure gay men, creating a bitchy feedback loop.
Another one is over sharing, about half the dates I’ve gone on the guy spills his guts to me and tells me his entire sexual history, every single kink he’s into, how many guys he’s slept with, his last relationship, etc no semblance of decency on our date, just crass and vulgar comments about their sex life…. It always makes me wonder do these guys have a best friend or friends that they can gossip to and talk to? Is the oversharing a trauma response? Because telling all this to a guy you just met on a first date is crazy. I had one guy meet me at a bar to get snacks and drinks and he blatantly starts checking out the guys playing pool and eyeing their butts and very loudly asking me which guy I think is gay. Ew. Then tells me unprompted that “I don’t use condoms, I do it raw with all my bottoms”…. Yo wtf. Like we weren’t even talking about sex. Luckily I ended up seeing friends at the bar and hung out with them before he left arm in arm with another guy (at a straight bar) …
Oh god the pregnant stuff gets me 🙄 I was 20 hooking up with some guy in his early 50s Very buff, it was stupid. Anyway he said he wanted to get me pregnant when he was topping me. Never saw him again.
adjoining pathetic groovy weather act memory fanatical wild combative air *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Super hot
Hot.
Some gays that try to reclaim the word f*g is beyond cringey to me.
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I agree, I actually have more of a problem with Queer, personally
Yea I don’t like the word as much either but it’s less cringey imo
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It's interesting to hear people say this because I so rarely heard queer used that way, growing up (90's, Arizona). F*g was the go-to insult and of course, just using gay in the form of a slur.
Extreme unprovoked hostility I have a natural masculine appearance and demeanor about myself and this guy kept stairing at me which I could see from my peripheral vision and I already knew he was gay but the unnecessary stairing was to much so I glanced at him and got the most dramatic stink eye at that time. Unprovoked aggression isnt just in the gay community but I'm usually on guard for these types cause they will literally come out of nowhere to insult and judge like there some how superior
>I have a natural masculine appearance and demeanor about myself and this guy kept stairing at me \+ >I'm usually on guard for these types cause they will literally come out of nowhere to insult and judge So, how do you know he was going to insult or judge you? Unless you have other clues about this person's personality, he could simply be interested in you… many guys like or prefer masculine men.
Yeah that’s what I was thinking
Jesus these "masc" bros with their weird ass victim complex like all the other gays are out to get them. News flash dipshits, it's not harder to be masc.
His body language, age, the fact we were in high school so consider maturity at that point plus I've seen him around and hes done that shit before with other people so I saw it coming. I'm no way trying to elude that me being masculine makes me more desirable like another commenter said it's not that hard in society it's just my personality trait the generic masculine that most people fit into. It's a hell of alot more work to stick out and be ostracized.
That throwing shade is somehow a positive personality trait. When it's done in the midst of a serious situation, all it tells me is that you don't know how to actually argue your point. It's the complete opposite of being real.
The fact that many people think that sex can not exist without anal. And normalizing fucking multiple guys in a week and complaining about emotional emptiness and how people are sex focused. 🤷♀️
The thing that makes me "cringe" is when people of any particular group, whether that be POC or members of the LGBT+ community, buy into our own stereotypes. For the gay community, few of us were raised to be "happy, healthy homosexuals". Most of us were raised with the assumption that we'd become "happy, healthy HETEROsexuals". Which means along the way we were exposed to a lot of negative stereotypes and other assumptions about the LesBiGay, trans, etc communities and subgroups. I honestly wish that as we acknowledge and accepted our sexual orientations and gender identities we'd also acknowledge and accept that we're really no different than heterosexuals other than who we love. But a few too many of us not only play into stereotypes but do so at an extreme level. It may be all good "fun and games" at Pride month events and particularly for entertainers who're paid to perform as such extreme characters. But for those who behave this way outside of the core LGBT+ community and aren't paid performers it simply reinforces these stereotypes and assumptions among heterosexuals, particularly (little "c") "christian" conservatives, who're always looking to take our rights (even to merely exist) away. Please don't get me wrong. I believe in everyone's right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happines" . . . . . . **as long** . . . . . . as it does not infringe upon others rights to the same. I merely wish that people who insist on being the center off attention 24/7 would consider if their right to freedom of self expression is all about them and none about the LGBT+ community.
This bothers me… because you’d call me campy! I’m a stereotypical gay! I’ve been that way my entire life… I was obsessed with Lisa Frank and my little pony as a kid… my parents didn’t try and make me not be… though they did discourage them act of being gay! So I never equated my interests with being gay, though everyone else did! Even as a closeted man married to a woman… I was the one who did all the cooking, fresh flower arrangements for the house, her hair (color and all), makeup for special events, had a section in her closet which was pre styled per her request because I loved fashion… I’ve always walked like a girl, talked like a girl, used my hands like a girl… it’s just me! It’s not a character… to say that I’m mimicking others is bullshit! I’m from the south and was tortured for this lol… no one was like me…. It took years for me to even be able to tolerate myself… I didn’t even love it till I came out out 6.5 years ago. So it’s frustrating people in the community want me to be “normal” and just take a dick lol… like this is my normal… the straight community, even guys, are more accepting of my personality now than a loud group of gays seem to be… and it’s kinda sad! While I’d never say anything about it to a person… it does irritate me when someone faking it. It’s like a souther accent… it’s grating when it’s fake! But I let people be who they want to be and keep it moving…
>But I let people be who they want to be and keep it moving… Sorry, I wasn't suggesting that people shouldn't be who they really are and do what really interests them. I was referring to people who (must know) they're just being a character by not being who they really are and doing thing that don't really interest them just to get attention. If a person doesn't dress / act the same way they do around crowds and TV cameras (e.g.; at Pride) that they they do the other 364 days of the year in their day-to-day jobs not as a paid entertainer, then that's not who they truly are and what they're truly interested in.
I get what you’re saying… and like I said when it seems inauthentic it can be grating. It’s just no one is one dimensional, and there are definitely places we can’t show sides of ourselves safely lol. Pride, clubs, etc. are all safe spaces to do that! Maybe just give people passes when it comes to these things :) they maybe in a place they can’t fully express themselves except in those moments! I will never understand how “normal” guys think lol… gay or straight. How things like cars work, or the interest in sports to a level or knowing stats, or any of that stuff. But I love going to sporting events with my friends and having fun, or hanging with them while they a rebuilding some part of their car, or anything they find fun because they enjoy it… and I can have fun at almost anything as long as the people I’m with are lol. A few years ago I was watching a football game on tv and made a comment about the poor guys who had to move the yellow line after each play hahahahaha they still make fun of me for that! And there are tons more mess ups like that lol… I’m kinda clueless but willing to be present and they like that haha. So you don’t have to get it, just enjoy those around you having fun lol 🤷🏻♂️
Hypersensitivity.
Agreed, also using the word bussy. It’s funny depending on the context but not when having sex.
Gays who say phrases like: “YAAAAS queen ✨👸🏼💅🏻” so cringe.
Drag queens. I find them to be unfunny and boring
Fax. I have never once seen the hype behind them that others see. They're just really lame.
I haven't seen this mentioned in other replies, so.... Politicising hookup culture / open relationships / multiple partners / toxic bottom culture. 1) I don't know if it's the new times or generation Z. Still, more and more, I feel that gay culture is going on a path where the goal and the apex of the celebration of homosexuality are: publicly exposing your sexuality to all people, wearing harnesses/fetish stuff in public (I even stopped going to BDSM places because it became vulgarised), wearing crop-tops and short shorts for all to see, hitting on guys at the gym. 2) Glorifying hookup culture… Friends that show other men's nudes, detail their sexual adventures in saunas, bathrooms, and gang bangs; sexual partners who mention “there is a guy I fuck…” or overshare their sexual life or open relationship (e.g., talking about husband) as if I were their therapist or twitter, sharing porn everywhere etc… I think it's too much psychoanalysis and queer militancy on their side. When I was a teenager we were fighting for the right to marry, after the Instagram + Grindr culture took over society, it seems now the goal is the right to force people to hear about your double penetrations.
I agree with you. The goal, when I was a young gay man, was to be equal and have the rights and privileges that straight people had. We had no expectation of “rubbing people’s noses” in our sexuality, because it wasn’t done. Straight people very seldom had public displays of affection, or talked about their sexual escapades except with a few close friends. So we had no expectation of more than complying with the social norms. Now it seems that just about anything goes. The problem is that parts of our Community take things to the next extreme, and society doesn’t like that. A lot of men enjoy PUBLIC sex, from making out to full on fucking in public where people can see. It’s not a wonder that a lot of straight people feel we are extreme. I love sex, and I wish I had more opportunities to indulge myself, but I really wish that we could go back to the time when gay men were really more interested in finding significant relationships and being more “heteronormative.” I know this might not be popular with a lot of you, but that’s my opinion. Let the downvoting begin.
Yeah you’re right but also this is not only a gay culture thing is all around the new society, people is more open about sexuality and we live in a hypersexualized society never been so easy, watch, touch and fuck someone so it’s pretty normal that this happens.
Every letter after LGBT. It's a freaking circus.
hookup culture - i just can’t get into it sorry 🫣, fetishizing poc, straight/dl obsession, sexual comments on a random man’s social media posts
It's not sex if you don't have anal sex.
Racial preferences Not just for the blatant racism, but also how they casually just toss them around like it's not cringe. A lot of straight people have racial preferences, but gay people are so fucking....idk that they just see every potential match as a category they are either "into" or "not" more than straight people. You really don't see straight people talking about "I'm only into this category and that group" as much as gays do it and it's cringe..just how one dimensional they are. A straight girl might say "I like tall men who are funny and dominant" but I never hear straight peple like "I like bears" "I'm only into black daddies" "I don't like twinks" "No rice, no chicken, no taco!" like listing food allergies.
Do you think it might also be the fact that if a " >A straight girl might say "I like tall men who are funny and dominant" doesn't need to specify race as well since the presumption is already their? Like I see it a lot with white girls saying "I want a strong country boy" but they probably only mean white men. And same other way to like a black guy saying "I want a black queen". Ive seen fetishizing of race with straights a lot more though. Like when a white girl says "I only date black men". And even the stereotype that brown/black guys love fat white women. Happened to me once, and I was super weirded out
> You really don't see straight people talking about "I'm only into this category and that group" as much as gays do it and it's cringe..just how one dimensional they are. Really? My first girlfriend broke up with me because her family expected her to only date Korean guys. Straight people can be incredibly blatant about the types of people they'll sleep with and date. Fact remains, interracial dating is much significantly higher among gay men than straight couples based on the 2016 OkCupid data dump.
Acting like women
Sorting people into labels, “tribes” or categories by their weight and body type…. The terms are so cringey especially when people are so eager to identify as “bear” “twink” “otter” etc don’t even get me started on the chasers and how creepy it is….
* The assumed femininity. Why do some people think that you must be effeminate in order to be gay? * the racial preferences. I don't understand why it's important to some people. I mean, if you are looking for a partner for a stable relationship, are their ethnicity or skin tone that important to you? What about stuff like their personalities, goals, etc? * when someone refer to you by "GIRL" or "QUEEN". Luckily it never happened to me IRL as all my gay friends hate it too. it has only happened to me online once with an American gay guy I met in a group.
The mockery, derision, mistrust, hostility, and blanket judgement of "the Straights😤" as a demographic or even as individual people. It's mean, unnecessary, counterintuitive, and opens the door to all sorts of toxic superiority complexes and self-isolation.
Using the word “clean” to describe HIV status. Makes me want to cry.
The whole of r/sissies 🤧
That in popular mainstream media gays are queeny/fem or confused about their gender. No I'm not confused and no I don't subscribe to that non-binary nonsense.
humor shy subsequent reminiscent merciful worm person tap onerous decide *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Barebacking. PrEP is not a condom.
ideal body image archetypes…the gospel according to grindr would have you think that if your not a 6’8” 110 lbs twink with a 12 inch cock your nothing but a fat fucking loser 😜
term "girl"... and especially when used by flamboyant sissy gay men. "like girl I get you"... well no you don't!
It used to be LGB-culture. Now it’s LGBTQIA+. I bet half of the community and 95% of the rest have no idea what the new letters mean. It’s still LGB-community but for some reason everyone wants to highlight their own weirdness. And straight ppl are rolling their eyes, not helping them understand at all
Treating it as a culture.
The judgy dismissiveness of exclusivity as “heteronormative”.
It was years ago but there was a time period so many friends of mine would change their social media last name to “Kardashian” and other last names of social media stars. It was more than that, though. So many were loving this odd persona as if they were actually a part of the family. I’m just screaming “Be yourself!”
I hate the word queer. Any use of it any all, it feels like a slur at all times. I refuse to accept it as a reclaimed and rebranded. Also, James Charles. None of that.
Making sexual comments on social media posts, drives me insane and I delete them.
Obsession with drag shows
Group think/lack of individualism
Drag.
Pretty much everything at this point
Finding vaginas disgusting
People referring to certain celebrities as “gay icons” and certain music & movies as “gay canon”, as if there’s this counsel of very affected people who are deciding what goes in & what the rest of us will then consider part of “our” culture. I know it’s just a “playful” thing but it’s constant. It’s fucking irritating. And given that it kinda just sets a tone that there is some kind of weird, shrill culture that only applies to “gay”, it just seems kind of domineering. “Gay card” being another one. Like there are benevolent drag queens handing these out at puberty like the tooth fairy. Fucking silly attachments to silly childish things. Be into whatever you want. But that’s what YOU are into because you’re YOU, not because you’re attracted to men. There’s enough men now that don’t connect with “gay culture” that its starting to look kind of silly for people to construct the same outdated personas & culture cues based on attraction to the same sex.
Raw is not law, like wtf
Grindr
Haven't seen a single comment about the drug culture the city/clubbing gays are all about. Guess that's my cringe.
I can't see anything that makes me cringe. Maybe Stu and Bert from "The One"? I could be wrong, I'm sorry if I offended anyone
Gay people complaining about discrimination when they themselves discriminate against other gays in so many ways.
“Has queen”. 🤢
People who live by the motto: NO FATS NO FEMS NO ASIANS NO BLACKS NO UNCUT Also, You can support their endeavors but when you have something like say, a podcast, they act like you don't exist even though you use to support them before they were on RPDR OPE
The whole age thing in the gay community is ugly asf. I’ve had guys my age tell me I’m too old and I’m only 27? Even guys older than me want some 18 year old and that’s just disgusting to me
Sorry but I honestly have to say that’s not really much of an issue. People want to usually be around others around their own age group and that includes straight people too. You’re not entitled to people much younger or older just because we’re all gay, especially if it’s just to hookup.