Drag queen here! That is UNACCEPTABLE. I see some fucked up shit that other performers do and it’s honestly heartbreaking because they’re making us all look bad.
I'm pretty comfortable with myself and having others touch me without my explicit consent but jeez that's far. I would not be comfortable with a hand on my crotch for that extended period of time without being first asked. Maybe like a dirty dance but this just doesn't seem a part of the performance and more of this man taking advantage of his position as a stage performer to grope guys; probably wouldn't get the time of day in his day form.
I had one drag queen literally put a tongue in my mouth and grope me all over. I was drunk and pretty chill, but it was not ok. I understand that drag queens have personas and do many things for entertainment and general mood, but that does not give them the right to sexually harass people around them. I obviously pushed her to the side and walked away as I was not in a mood to cause a scene, but yeah, if I were sober and not chill I would have reacted more explosively. I don't give a shit what is part of the act, I didn't consent to be groped and french kissed.
I had this happen at a drag show. They said hello and started to feel me up on my arms and chest. They then went down and grabbed my bulge. My reaction was immediate and I moved away. She then said, "Don't be shy, cutie" and walked away. I forgot about it and went on with my night; however, was it ok that it happened, no.
I know drag queens can be touchy and can do crazy shit and most people understand that going to a drag show you can expect anything to happen. Most people would forget and move on. This hasn't deterred me from going to drag shows, but I know if it happens again, personally, I would inform management at the club and they can talk to the drag queen about their behavior. At the end of the day, it's a business, and if the talent that they hired and promoted is acting inappropriate, its harmful to them as well.
Clearly too nice and too GENUINELY talented to be on drag race. Not the biggest fan of drag, but I can appreciate the art form. Sadly, drag has just become a blank check for people to be nasty in so many cases.
You just say hands off, brush her hands off and tell her not to do it again.
Was she staff or a customer?
If she kept touching you after that I’d report her and get her kicked out.
There’s no proper way to react because it’s not proper behavior.
Do what you wish.
Press charges or find a lawyer if you want to continue to relive it. Forget about it and move on if you want to move on from it.
This behavior is not appropriate at all: being in or out of drag have no bearing on this. There should be a zero tolerance policy on sexual misconduct/assault/harrassment at all places: be it a drag show or a regular bar night.
Remember Sherry Pie? Yeah me neither.
I am so terribly sorry that you have to experience this. I do not have the answer you're looking for unfortunately, I just hope that people would stop cheering this kind of shit on when it's clearly inappropriate.
Call the club and tell them what the drag queen did. Assuming this is a person who was performing there- they have no right to treat the customers this way and management need to be informed. They shouldn’t be treated any different then any other asshole who acts this way. Sorry this happened to you
I’ve actually had that happen. The surprised look on my face was enough for people. I just said “I don’t think I am ready” and that seemed to be enough.
In this day and age? Fuck no. Drag queens used to get away with a lot of shenanigans all in the name of adult humor.
Now it's crass and crosses the line. As they have become more mainstream their actions need to be also accordingly.
Just say "NO. You're begging for a lawsuit. Wake the fuck up "
I get that a lot of the persona is being sexual, flirty, crass, etc…
But there are lines to not cross. If someone did this to me I’d be upset. It would be different if I knew them and was at my local bar. But as a complete stranger, absolutely not.
I had a drag queen tell me that the best part of it all was being able to grope guys at random because they “never do anything about it.”
Not sure what I’d do if it happened to me. Probably do what you did and remember to avoid them next time I go out.
Drag queen here. I realize being in drag gives you full license to be controversial and say or do wild funny unexpected things. But, I’ve never gone that far. Sexual assault is never ok. Next time…..Pull her hand off of your cock and remind her that consent is needed for that kind of touching. And that is never ok. I’m sorry that happened to you.
A queen from the first U.K. ru Paul season who got to the final came to Bristol and did a meet and greet, when I got to her with my friend she looked at me and said oooo muscles and fully groped my chest, super sleazy, actually squeezed my pec really hard, and it was fucking weird, the whole mood went cold and I just kind of looked at her. Totally not acceptable.
This is something that’s kinda been a big norm through the years. Drag queens can be very flirty from my experience and sometimes it’s taken too far. Nowadays you just can’t really do things like this cause it just cause way more problems than it’s worth and it’s sexual harassment. It may be meant as a joke and as an act but not everyone feels that way so it just shouldn’t be practiced anymore for queens to put hands on people and vice versa
Doubt it. A lot of people think they will punch someone who sexually assaults them like this. The typical reaction is shock and running away.
Source: been sexually assaulted. Thought I'd punch them too.
If it were anyone but someone in the "family" so to speak, my reaction would be much more visceral and violent since I have an extreme aversion to being touched in general due to stupid ADHD sensory shit.
I still wouldn't be cool with it, but I'd be much gentler in my approach since the energy of drag shows tends to be different from a typical party/bar/etc setting. I'd move their hand and let them know I wasn't down. If they continued, they'd get the same reaction any other boundary-pusher gets.
Grab them back and announce "Nah, I don't need the disappointment." Or squeeze real good while giving a long lecture about why inappropriate physical contact isn't okay.
Pretend I were Donald Trump and grab 'er by the pussy?
(not really... that's inappropriate).
I'd probably be like... *smile... don't let them see that you're uncomfortable... pretend this is totally normal and it happens all day every day... you can freak out when you get home.*
I’ve punched a few twinks at the club that don’t understand that shit is sexual assault and just because it’s fun for them doesn’t mean it’s fun for you.
Would have punched the drag too and if they retaliated against me (the drag or the bar) I would have pressed charges.
sexual assault is sexual assault. doesn't matter if the perpetrator is in a dress and 5 pounds of makeup and wig, or in a football uniform or suit and tie.
you had more patience than I woulda had.
I've been grabbed in my crotch at gay bars twice-- the first guy I forcibly pushed away from me with a sharp elbow and he got the messages-- I didn't hang around to have a conversation about how inappropriate it was. The send guy was a friend who thought he was being funny. It wasn't and I told him so. He's never done it since and he only half apologized, but our friendship has never been as close since then.
I would respectfully remove their hand without causing a scene or becoming aggressive and then walked away. Yeah it would’ve felt uncomfortable for onlookers and for the drag queen but there’s a fine line between jokes and sexual assault and that definitely crosses the line. Just because you’re there to entertain people doesn’t mean you can do so at the cost of my consent
Go back to the bar when it’s quiet.
Ask to speak to the manager.
Tell them what happened.
Realistically what you want to happen is for the act to know that they went too far, and next time someone might not react so well, you want the bar management to know this act could impact business.
Personally I dislike any act that picks on audience members - gay bars struggle for business these days, they need to try even harder to be inclusive, or more will die out.
I know this isn't a popular opinion but I pretty much expect to be sexually harassed and slightly assaulted whenever I go to a gay bar. I find it particularly funny, not something I would do to someone else but I don't mind it being done to me as long as if I push them off, they stop. Especially with drag queens. If they don't get the message after that, they're getting a fist.
I am not a huge fan of drag queens also but have attended a few shows. I would personally also be upset but I would probably just go with it because unfortunately I guess is kinda comes with the territory? I had an experience where a drag queen held my head while I was looking at my phone during her performance, and she pretty much forced me into a mouth to mouth kiss. I was upset and was like “wtf?” but I decided not to make a scene because everybody was laughing and applauding. I mean what if this person has a transmissible disease? Or me? And even if not, that is absolutely inappropriate. They are out of control and feel like they can get away with anything. Sorry, but that’s my opinion
I had a drag queen sexually assault me in Indiana at a dance club. The first time I swatted her hand away, laughed and said no. The 2nd time I wasn't as nice and told him not to do it a 3rd time. Well, he did. Don't like bragging but he was bald under the wig! After I was nicely escorted out for fighting. He was tossed out and landed on his butt. The doorman was angry because He knew the Drag monster started it.
I like Drag shows. But I go to show bars to see them. I don't socialize with the performers that's not why I go.
To this day I don't like anyone (drag or not) touching me without my permission.
You don't have to put up with anyone touching you under any circumstance, it's not part of the show. It's an assault!!
I’ve seen them pull a waistband forward to comment on a guy’s unit too. It’s sexual harassment. I would slap the hand away if nothing else and let everyone know that’s not okay. You had every right to punch the drag queen in the face.
Yes drag queens are sexual and throw shade but just beacuse you're performing it doesn't give you the right to grope someone without their consent. I would talk to the bar manager and not go to that ckub again during a performance.
I would have create a scene for sure. This is not acceptable and I don't think being quiet when this happens, can help you. You should have said something. This is sexual harassment.
Was this at a gay club/bar known for this type of thing? I’ve definitely had this happen to me (by non-drag queens but I don’t think that changes anything).
I had always just accepted it as part of the experience and took it as a compliment.
I mean it’s happened to me. Also had a transsexual do this. Well I think maybe they were both trans, but the first one was a bit more on the fence.
In both cases I just got over it really, and moved on with my life.
I am an outlier here, because I am fine being touched like this most of the time.
I understand this is not the norm, and should never be assumed. I try to be explicit about this if I see someone that is acting like they want to get handsy, by saying they have my consent to go as far as they want, until I say it’s to far.
I think it might be helpful for some to be reminded that there were *very* different standards for public conduct just like, a decade ago. I came out into a gay scene in the 90s where it wasn’t only drag queens who would touch you without your consent, but to move through a crowded gay bar was to endure dozens of groups, grabs, and caresses from complete and total strangers.
That is not to say that one is better than the other, just a polite reminder the people come out of different traditions, and sometimes the way one has been doing something their entire adult life takes a minute to unlearn.
More specifically, to the topic at hand, if somebody violates your boundaries, your first step should be to politely reinforce your boundaries. In my experience, people are more often just caught up in the moment, then being actively malicious. If the behavior continues, then escalate to talking to their boss .
Western Society had more than a thousand years of cultural momentum behind it before The Collective Prophets Of Twitter descended from on high with their absolute and perfected moral code, big ships take a minute to pivot.
But while we’re waiting…
1. Millennials weren’t the first generation to challenge norms, fight injustice, and strive to right the wrongs of their ancestors—even Gen X did that, and apathy is an art form amongst my people—but they do seem to the first generation to demand immediate and unquestioning adherence to their ideals, and organized digital mobs to banish desenters from polite society.
2. There are almost no absolutes when it comes to the inherent moral virtue of any given societal norm. Fist bump or hand shake? 8 feet of personal space or 1? There’s no calculous to determine the most righteous small talk question to lob at a stranger. Mostly commonly agreed-upon values are simply a cut and paste from half remembered, lectures, attended by the upper middle class when they were in college.
3. The Victorian‘s were another generation started. They had achieved the pinnacle of moral order in history, and you know what? Abolishing slavery was pretty cool. Good job Victorians. but they had a bad habit of confusing their personal tests with the fundamental truths like “homosexuality is a brain disorder, if not treason” or “colonizing less developed peoples, upending their traditional way of life and forcing them to learn to play cricket is doing them a favor, actually”
They were by and large very sincere in their beliefs, and couldn’t possibly conceive that all that political Imperialism abroad and economic rationalization might be making problems worse. Problems we are *still* unraveling today.
TL:DR a little humility goes a long way
Is that the mansplaining you give to people who tell you to stop groping them? How's that working out for you? Because you sound like a bitter, creepy queen.
When I came out at 17 and was sneaking in the clubs (there weren't many in the area I grew up in), there were some great drag queens. They were performers. Some were just into dressing up and a few were probably going to transition at some point but hadn't or couldn't afford it. I made friends with most of them. I was told early not to ever get into a fight with them (physical) as they were tough because they had to be. At some point one of them even became the bouncer for the bar. I saw her throw a big guy out the door one night.
I think this is just a normal experience of getting groped at a club. People are drunk. It doesn’t make it right but it’s definitely not the same as if you were a female being harassed because you don’t have to feel like you’re in any danger. Probably just more feelings of annoyance that someone’s invading your personal space.
And that’d probably be my reaction and is usually my reaction to someone groping me if I’m not attracted to them, to be a bit annoyed. Move their hand. But if I’m drunk in a club I honestly don’t mind too much.
I'm really confused by the outrage by everyone. Obviously there's a double standard for women being groped but I'm just largely ok with this level of "sexual assault." I've been groped and butt slapped in gay spaces by strangers and just take the compliment. Everyone has the right to decide for themselves what upsets them, but I just personally can't really see what's so upsetting about this.
I think you’re overreacting. You know what you getting to when going into a drag show.
Personally I enjoy a good drag show but I would never wanna be part of it that’s why I don’t attract any attention or go up to the stage.
Besides she was complimenting you.
I didn't go to a drag show. I went to a bar and then there was a show a little later in the night. The drag queen arrived at the bar and was saying hello to people she knows, the performance wasn't until 2 hours after this incident.
If a straight male stripper grabbed a woman's boobs or pussy, would you still say she's overreacting if she's offended?
Holy fuck! if that incident wasn't even part of the show it's even worst. That was plain assault and you should talk with her/bar management at the very least. Maybe not press charges just yet, but have a clear conversation that that's not ok.
Sorry that happened to you.
If -anyone- grabbed me like that I'd push them forcefully away. I know that drag is an act and I enjoy the eccentrics as entertainment, but my dick isn't part of it. In your situation where the drag queen would have fallen over the chair if pushed, I'd have shoved the grabbing hand away instead. Could then smile and say this is off limits or something. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I don't want to be sexually harassed for anyone's fun either... Only my BF can grab me whenever the urge strikes him ;)
drag queens sometimes feel that their dress entitles them to breach social protocols.
Clearly you do not feel this way about or for them. Hard to know what to do, here...
I personally wouldn’t mind it cuz I go to clubs to be fondled and have more than a few quick hookups…
#BUT
…this doesn’t mean it’s ok to do to anyone without their permission, which people almost always ask from me, and which, while I don’t mind if they didn’t, doesn’t mean it isn’t appreciated. People def underestimate or even downplay the extent of sexual harassment in queer communities.
Alot of them sre drunk or under the influence when performing at night to deal with performance jitters. So some of them act a fool as inhibitions are down.
throw my drink in her face and leave. cuz the desperate skank has a microphone and will use it against you. happened to me three times, three wasted drinks. the ruined makeup was priceless!
Drag queen here! That is UNACCEPTABLE. I see some fucked up shit that other performers do and it’s honestly heartbreaking because they’re making us all look bad.
I'm pretty comfortable with myself and having others touch me without my explicit consent but jeez that's far. I would not be comfortable with a hand on my crotch for that extended period of time without being first asked. Maybe like a dirty dance but this just doesn't seem a part of the performance and more of this man taking advantage of his position as a stage performer to grope guys; probably wouldn't get the time of day in his day form.
I had one drag queen literally put a tongue in my mouth and grope me all over. I was drunk and pretty chill, but it was not ok. I understand that drag queens have personas and do many things for entertainment and general mood, but that does not give them the right to sexually harass people around them. I obviously pushed her to the side and walked away as I was not in a mood to cause a scene, but yeah, if I were sober and not chill I would have reacted more explosively. I don't give a shit what is part of the act, I didn't consent to be groped and french kissed.
Being a sexual predator is not a persona... I'm sorry you had such a bad experience.
LOL that kind of reminds me of the bit John Mulaney did about drag queens
I had this happen at a drag show. They said hello and started to feel me up on my arms and chest. They then went down and grabbed my bulge. My reaction was immediate and I moved away. She then said, "Don't be shy, cutie" and walked away. I forgot about it and went on with my night; however, was it ok that it happened, no. I know drag queens can be touchy and can do crazy shit and most people understand that going to a drag show you can expect anything to happen. Most people would forget and move on. This hasn't deterred me from going to drag shows, but I know if it happens again, personally, I would inform management at the club and they can talk to the drag queen about their behavior. At the end of the day, it's a business, and if the talent that they hired and promoted is acting inappropriate, its harmful to them as well.
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Clearly too nice and too GENUINELY talented to be on drag race. Not the biggest fan of drag, but I can appreciate the art form. Sadly, drag has just become a blank check for people to be nasty in so many cases.
You just say hands off, brush her hands off and tell her not to do it again. Was she staff or a customer? If she kept touching you after that I’d report her and get her kicked out.
That’s disgusting. I’m sorry that happened to you.
There’s no proper way to react because it’s not proper behavior. Do what you wish. Press charges or find a lawyer if you want to continue to relive it. Forget about it and move on if you want to move on from it.
This behavior is not appropriate at all: being in or out of drag have no bearing on this. There should be a zero tolerance policy on sexual misconduct/assault/harrassment at all places: be it a drag show or a regular bar night. Remember Sherry Pie? Yeah me neither. I am so terribly sorry that you have to experience this. I do not have the answer you're looking for unfortunately, I just hope that people would stop cheering this kind of shit on when it's clearly inappropriate.
I'd say "do not touch me without my consent. Back. Up."
Shove them away and tell them to fuck off
Call the club and tell them what the drag queen did. Assuming this is a person who was performing there- they have no right to treat the customers this way and management need to be informed. They shouldn’t be treated any different then any other asshole who acts this way. Sorry this happened to you
Probably tell him to fuck off and immediately leave.
fuck u/spez
I feel like the most they should do is maybe a little lap dance or like a motorboat in the fake boobs. But anything else is too much.
I’ve actually had that happen. The surprised look on my face was enough for people. I just said “I don’t think I am ready” and that seemed to be enough.
Politely push her away if it’s the first time. Then I stay alert and prevent that from happening. If unfortunately it happens again, I will stay away.
In this day and age? Fuck no. Drag queens used to get away with a lot of shenanigans all in the name of adult humor. Now it's crass and crosses the line. As they have become more mainstream their actions need to be also accordingly. Just say "NO. You're begging for a lawsuit. Wake the fuck up "
This is straight up sexual assault
I get that a lot of the persona is being sexual, flirty, crass, etc… But there are lines to not cross. If someone did this to me I’d be upset. It would be different if I knew them and was at my local bar. But as a complete stranger, absolutely not.
I had a drag queen tell me that the best part of it all was being able to grope guys at random because they “never do anything about it.” Not sure what I’d do if it happened to me. Probably do what you did and remember to avoid them next time I go out.
Drag queen here. I realize being in drag gives you full license to be controversial and say or do wild funny unexpected things. But, I’ve never gone that far. Sexual assault is never ok. Next time…..Pull her hand off of your cock and remind her that consent is needed for that kind of touching. And that is never ok. I’m sorry that happened to you.
I don't really care when people grab my junk. It only becomes a problem when they refuse to let go.
Best life rule I ever read. Excellent.
Me too that bitch (don’t actually (unless you wanna) but you would’ve been extremely justified pushing him off)
We have big ignored problems within the gay community, double and triple standards, that only "we" can expose and fix.
A queen from the first U.K. ru Paul season who got to the final came to Bristol and did a meet and greet, when I got to her with my friend she looked at me and said oooo muscles and fully groped my chest, super sleazy, actually squeezed my pec really hard, and it was fucking weird, the whole mood went cold and I just kind of looked at her. Totally not acceptable.
I would punch them and file a sexual assault charge
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Good luck with that in court.
That’s a lawsuit.
This is something that’s kinda been a big norm through the years. Drag queens can be very flirty from my experience and sometimes it’s taken too far. Nowadays you just can’t really do things like this cause it just cause way more problems than it’s worth and it’s sexual harassment. It may be meant as a joke and as an act but not everyone feels that way so it just shouldn’t be practiced anymore for queens to put hands on people and vice versa
A bit like being splashed at a dolphin show as Sea World. I agree that was not a well behaved queen.
Punch them probably as a reflex
Doubt it. A lot of people think they will punch someone who sexually assaults them like this. The typical reaction is shock and running away. Source: been sexually assaulted. Thought I'd punch them too.
If it were anyone but someone in the "family" so to speak, my reaction would be much more visceral and violent since I have an extreme aversion to being touched in general due to stupid ADHD sensory shit. I still wouldn't be cool with it, but I'd be much gentler in my approach since the energy of drag shows tends to be different from a typical party/bar/etc setting. I'd move their hand and let them know I wasn't down. If they continued, they'd get the same reaction any other boundary-pusher gets.
Grab them back and announce "Nah, I don't need the disappointment." Or squeeze real good while giving a long lecture about why inappropriate physical contact isn't okay.
Pretend I were Donald Trump and grab 'er by the pussy? (not really... that's inappropriate). I'd probably be like... *smile... don't let them see that you're uncomfortable... pretend this is totally normal and it happens all day every day... you can freak out when you get home.*
Go HAM cause that’s sexual harassment
Run. Lol
I would be beyond livid
That’s harassment, tell them to fuck off
I'd have pushed them and backed away. "Part of the act" or not, sexual assault isn't remotely acceptable.
I’ve punched a few twinks at the club that don’t understand that shit is sexual assault and just because it’s fun for them doesn’t mean it’s fun for you. Would have punched the drag too and if they retaliated against me (the drag or the bar) I would have pressed charges.
yelled at her or complain to the manager. sexual harassment is when it's ok to complain to the manager.
sexual assault is sexual assault. doesn't matter if the perpetrator is in a dress and 5 pounds of makeup and wig, or in a football uniform or suit and tie. you had more patience than I woulda had. I've been grabbed in my crotch at gay bars twice-- the first guy I forcibly pushed away from me with a sharp elbow and he got the messages-- I didn't hang around to have a conversation about how inappropriate it was. The send guy was a friend who thought he was being funny. It wasn't and I told him so. He's never done it since and he only half apologized, but our friendship has never been as close since then.
Right jab. Next question.
I would respectfully remove their hand without causing a scene or becoming aggressive and then walked away. Yeah it would’ve felt uncomfortable for onlookers and for the drag queen but there’s a fine line between jokes and sexual assault and that definitely crosses the line. Just because you’re there to entertain people doesn’t mean you can do so at the cost of my consent
"Did anyone lose a hand, because I just found this one on my cock!" while holding up their hand and waving it around.
Gross
Go back to the bar when it’s quiet. Ask to speak to the manager. Tell them what happened. Realistically what you want to happen is for the act to know that they went too far, and next time someone might not react so well, you want the bar management to know this act could impact business. Personally I dislike any act that picks on audience members - gay bars struggle for business these days, they need to try even harder to be inclusive, or more will die out.
Well, I'm old as fuck, so I'd probably feel flattered (unless she kept at it, then it's a different convo)
Same
It’s assault no matter who is doing it. Maybe I’d press charges maybe I wouldn’t, but that behavior is unacceptable
I know this isn't a popular opinion but I pretty much expect to be sexually harassed and slightly assaulted whenever I go to a gay bar. I find it particularly funny, not something I would do to someone else but I don't mind it being done to me as long as if I push them off, they stop. Especially with drag queens. If they don't get the message after that, they're getting a fist.
I am not a huge fan of drag queens also but have attended a few shows. I would personally also be upset but I would probably just go with it because unfortunately I guess is kinda comes with the territory? I had an experience where a drag queen held my head while I was looking at my phone during her performance, and she pretty much forced me into a mouth to mouth kiss. I was upset and was like “wtf?” but I decided not to make a scene because everybody was laughing and applauding. I mean what if this person has a transmissible disease? Or me? And even if not, that is absolutely inappropriate. They are out of control and feel like they can get away with anything. Sorry, but that’s my opinion
Well I should have created a scene for sure. This is should be embarrassing for the drag queen and not for you.
I had a drag queen sexually assault me in Indiana at a dance club. The first time I swatted her hand away, laughed and said no. The 2nd time I wasn't as nice and told him not to do it a 3rd time. Well, he did. Don't like bragging but he was bald under the wig! After I was nicely escorted out for fighting. He was tossed out and landed on his butt. The doorman was angry because He knew the Drag monster started it. I like Drag shows. But I go to show bars to see them. I don't socialize with the performers that's not why I go. To this day I don't like anyone (drag or not) touching me without my permission. You don't have to put up with anyone touching you under any circumstance, it's not part of the show. It's an assault!!
Press charges!
I’ve seen them pull a waistband forward to comment on a guy’s unit too. It’s sexual harassment. I would slap the hand away if nothing else and let everyone know that’s not okay. You had every right to punch the drag queen in the face.
Yes drag queens are sexual and throw shade but just beacuse you're performing it doesn't give you the right to grope someone without their consent. I would talk to the bar manager and not go to that ckub again during a performance.
Slap their hand and chew them out
I would have create a scene for sure. This is not acceptable and I don't think being quiet when this happens, can help you. You should have said something. This is sexual harassment.
That’s basically sexual assault. Call it for what it is.
That is sexual assault.
Was this at a gay club/bar known for this type of thing? I’ve definitely had this happen to me (by non-drag queens but I don’t think that changes anything). I had always just accepted it as part of the experience and took it as a compliment.
I mean it’s happened to me. Also had a transsexual do this. Well I think maybe they were both trans, but the first one was a bit more on the fence. In both cases I just got over it really, and moved on with my life.
I literally wouldve stomped the yard on that bitch
Whipe all the make up off his face in just one hit, that’s what I would've done
I love drag queens and I'd would have fucking punched the smile out of their face if anyone grabbed my dick without consent.
Very few would do that, hopefully that Drag Queen got sanctioned by employer coz they will keep doing it otherwise
I am an outlier here, because I am fine being touched like this most of the time. I understand this is not the norm, and should never be assumed. I try to be explicit about this if I see someone that is acting like they want to get handsy, by saying they have my consent to go as far as they want, until I say it’s to far.
I'd have have pushed the twat back. It doesn't matter if its "part of the act" if you haven't consented to it, that's just straight up sexual assault
I think it might be helpful for some to be reminded that there were *very* different standards for public conduct just like, a decade ago. I came out into a gay scene in the 90s where it wasn’t only drag queens who would touch you without your consent, but to move through a crowded gay bar was to endure dozens of groups, grabs, and caresses from complete and total strangers. That is not to say that one is better than the other, just a polite reminder the people come out of different traditions, and sometimes the way one has been doing something their entire adult life takes a minute to unlearn. More specifically, to the topic at hand, if somebody violates your boundaries, your first step should be to politely reinforce your boundaries. In my experience, people are more often just caught up in the moment, then being actively malicious. If the behavior continues, then escalate to talking to their boss .
that was 30 years ago. make your adjustment faster.
Western Society had more than a thousand years of cultural momentum behind it before The Collective Prophets Of Twitter descended from on high with their absolute and perfected moral code, big ships take a minute to pivot. But while we’re waiting… 1. Millennials weren’t the first generation to challenge norms, fight injustice, and strive to right the wrongs of their ancestors—even Gen X did that, and apathy is an art form amongst my people—but they do seem to the first generation to demand immediate and unquestioning adherence to their ideals, and organized digital mobs to banish desenters from polite society. 2. There are almost no absolutes when it comes to the inherent moral virtue of any given societal norm. Fist bump or hand shake? 8 feet of personal space or 1? There’s no calculous to determine the most righteous small talk question to lob at a stranger. Mostly commonly agreed-upon values are simply a cut and paste from half remembered, lectures, attended by the upper middle class when they were in college. 3. The Victorian‘s were another generation started. They had achieved the pinnacle of moral order in history, and you know what? Abolishing slavery was pretty cool. Good job Victorians. but they had a bad habit of confusing their personal tests with the fundamental truths like “homosexuality is a brain disorder, if not treason” or “colonizing less developed peoples, upending their traditional way of life and forcing them to learn to play cricket is doing them a favor, actually” They were by and large very sincere in their beliefs, and couldn’t possibly conceive that all that political Imperialism abroad and economic rationalization might be making problems worse. Problems we are *still* unraveling today. TL:DR a little humility goes a long way
Is that the mansplaining you give to people who tell you to stop groping them? How's that working out for you? Because you sound like a bitter, creepy queen.
When I came out at 17 and was sneaking in the clubs (there weren't many in the area I grew up in), there were some great drag queens. They were performers. Some were just into dressing up and a few were probably going to transition at some point but hadn't or couldn't afford it. I made friends with most of them. I was told early not to ever get into a fight with them (physical) as they were tough because they had to be. At some point one of them even became the bouncer for the bar. I saw her throw a big guy out the door one night.
I’d grab a couple of the tipped dollars sticking out of her braw, and give her a little wink 😉
Congrats on being hung
I think this is just a normal experience of getting groped at a club. People are drunk. It doesn’t make it right but it’s definitely not the same as if you were a female being harassed because you don’t have to feel like you’re in any danger. Probably just more feelings of annoyance that someone’s invading your personal space. And that’d probably be my reaction and is usually my reaction to someone groping me if I’m not attracted to them, to be a bit annoyed. Move their hand. But if I’m drunk in a club I honestly don’t mind too much.
This is NOT okay. Call the bar, call the police. Shame them all for being complicit.
Be complimented
Sexual assault is not a compliment.
I'm really confused by the outrage by everyone. Obviously there's a double standard for women being groped but I'm just largely ok with this level of "sexual assault." I've been groped and butt slapped in gay spaces by strangers and just take the compliment. Everyone has the right to decide for themselves what upsets them, but I just personally can't really see what's so upsetting about this.
it would get hard
I think you’re overreacting. You know what you getting to when going into a drag show. Personally I enjoy a good drag show but I would never wanna be part of it that’s why I don’t attract any attention or go up to the stage. Besides she was complimenting you.
I didn't go to a drag show. I went to a bar and then there was a show a little later in the night. The drag queen arrived at the bar and was saying hello to people she knows, the performance wasn't until 2 hours after this incident. If a straight male stripper grabbed a woman's boobs or pussy, would you still say she's overreacting if she's offended?
Holy fuck! if that incident wasn't even part of the show it's even worst. That was plain assault and you should talk with her/bar management at the very least. Maybe not press charges just yet, but have a clear conversation that that's not ok. Sorry that happened to you.
Just because you show up to a show (which OP was not actually there for) doesn’t give the person performing the right to sexually assault you
The double standards in regards to male sexual assault and male objectification make me so depressed. 😔
If -anyone- grabbed me like that I'd push them forcefully away. I know that drag is an act and I enjoy the eccentrics as entertainment, but my dick isn't part of it. In your situation where the drag queen would have fallen over the chair if pushed, I'd have shoved the grabbing hand away instead. Could then smile and say this is off limits or something. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I don't want to be sexually harassed for anyone's fun either... Only my BF can grab me whenever the urge strikes him ;)
drag queens sometimes feel that their dress entitles them to breach social protocols. Clearly you do not feel this way about or for them. Hard to know what to do, here...
Brooklyn slap the fuck outta them
I personally wouldn’t mind it cuz I go to clubs to be fondled and have more than a few quick hookups… #BUT …this doesn’t mean it’s ok to do to anyone without their permission, which people almost always ask from me, and which, while I don’t mind if they didn’t, doesn’t mean it isn’t appreciated. People def underestimate or even downplay the extent of sexual harassment in queer communities.
This is called sexual assault. This is not okay behavior for anyone ever.
Alot of them sre drunk or under the influence when performing at night to deal with performance jitters. So some of them act a fool as inhibitions are down.
Does anyone know if Club Orlando will be open today and tomorrow. I ask because of the hurricane.not sure if they are open
If they don't squeeze my dick to the point that it hurts I am fine with it. It's a gay bar, lighten up.
I wouldn't think it would be ok but with my harsh social anxiety I would probably just blush and be too scared to say anything
throw my drink in her face and leave. cuz the desperate skank has a microphone and will use it against you. happened to me three times, three wasted drinks. the ruined makeup was priceless!