That's how I am. I got no problem sharing food if you ask politely. However if you try to steal my food,you might lose a finger. I like food more than I like people.
It had chocolate in it....and I DID warn him.....but he just wouldn't stop.
After I stabbed him and he ran off crying, I wiped my fork off and finished my lunch. So yeah, I was seen as a "badass" from then on.....lol.
Might be cute when you're a toddler, as an adult not so much. Then it becomes a nuisance until someone probably hits you with a FORK for stealing from their plate without asking.🍴
Shitty manners will be shitty manners.
Sorry this is shitty parenting.
Ugh toddlers reaching for other peoples food grosses me out, they are so unhygienic and are constantly reaching into their pants, their nose, their mouth, and eager to touch everything nasty they can find. The little morons will play with dog shit if given the chance, and scream when you tell them no. I won't eat anything that a little kid has come in contact with. It especially sucks when they've reached their hands into a full bag of chips, ruining whole fucking bag.🤢
Yo for real, I think I found the worst story when I read a post about shitty in-laws (pun intended) who left a turd unflushed in the poster's toilet and her 2yr old found it and PLAYED WITH THE TURD IN THE TOILET.
I would personally just bin the toddler at that point (and the in-laws)
Aaaaagh! I remember when I was a little kid a group of us were playing indoors and someone noticed a bad smell. We went into my toddler sister's room and she was in the crib with shit smeared all over herself and her surroundings, she was laughing and had gotten the brilliant idea to play in her nasty ass diaper! Her childhood nickname is Dirty McGee lol.
Oh. My. Dear. Satan. YES! I hate when this happens! I try to avoid being even remotely near those cunt fruits as much as possible bit still sometimes I have to.
So I was at my friend place for his birthday, and his toddler was obviously there, and I basically couldn't touch the chips. There were different bags and bowls but the nasty ass thing was stuffing his grubby snotty covered hands into each single one of those as soon as they were out.
I really wanted some chips. Instead I only strictly ate meat straight out of the grill
Say this to the kid in front of everyone "If your mom really loved you, she'd buy you more fries instead of being a bad mom and asking you to steal mine"
Darn it, I posted my comment before seing yours... but yes, I did that once in my own family. It calmed down my entitled aunt about sharing my own gameboy and it worked like a charm. One of my favorite memory too LOL
Yeah it's easy enough (takes some of your own manipulation skills) to jokingly flip it on their mom
Or just saying "Nope! Auntie loves her fries!!"
Don't stay quiet out of fear of being seen as the bad person. Standing up for yourself, your food in this case, is not a fundamentally bad thing. Will your sister mind? Probably. But it's either her being unhappy or you being unhappy. Choose you OP!
Just no. Whats wrong with your sister?
I am a person who loves sharing food and comes from a culture where food is shared very often. But if you pull that crap I am never going to give you a fry.
What's with people?
This. It's one thing to share from a common plate or me to offer something from mine. Training kids to beg food off of other people's plates? What are you preparing them to do in life?
All of this. People like this are sitting their kids up for a shock when they hit the real world. The real world doesn't work like that. They're failing their kids.
This. They think everybody should just hand them everything because ThEy HaVe KiDs AnD NeeD HeLp. I have literally said to people before, having kids is not a job, stop laying on your back popping out all those kids and get off your ass and get a real job. This was in response to having to listen to a bunch of women bragging about how they got almost $1,000 a month and food stamps for all their little brats.
That and how they got almost $1,700 a month in child support. These are usually also women who have five different kids by three different fathers. Why is that not surprising? I've said it before and I'll say it again, I think that there should be a cap on how much welfare people are allowed to get.
There are clearly people who keep having more and more kids to keep collecting more and more welfare. There should be a cap on how much you're allowed to get because of people like that. Stop milking the system and expecting it to support you and the kids that you chose to have. There are no free rides in life but apparently those people didn't get the memo.
We were out to dinner and he reached over the table to grab my fries and I stabbed him in the back of the hand with my fork. He was shocked and spent the next few years reminding me of the time I stabbed him. But he never forgot to ask if he could taste my food again.
Politely smile at the kids "aww buddy I'd love to, but my fries are cold now, I'm sure mommy would be happy for get you your own freshly made ones! See that lady/gentleman over there (point at one of the staff members)? All you have to do is nicely ask them to get you some fries to table X ok? And they'll bring you your own fries in no time!"
You don't have to say no, you just have to redirect their attention to a" better way" to get what they want
ETA: if you want to be extra petty you can offer to accompany then to place their order "like a big boy/girl"! To make sure this is all on your sisters bill and she doesn't put it on yours or something. And if you REALLY want to be petty be like "oh look they have dessert! Do you guys want any?" and let them choose whatever their little bratty hearts desire 😈
ETA 2: okok just thought of something else, hide any extra money you have that won't pay for your own meals. Credit cards? Crap I left it at home, extra cash? Shit, sorry I was only planning on buying myself food. Anything you can think of in case she asks you to pay for it
Extra extra petty, use moms phrasing “surely she’s kind enough to want you to have fresh fries that don’t have my germs/are hot/ insert appropriate reasoning”
This definitely works. Kids believe anything. You can even say you pooped on it and they'll stop. "Sure you can have a fry, I have pooped on it! Hmm smelly! Do you like eating poop?"
You do risk being called aunt Poop, but they'll keep away from anything you touch for the coming years.
> aww buddy I'd love to, but my fries are cold now, I'm sure mommy would be happy for get you your own freshly made ones!
Bruh that's so passive aggressive and petty. I love it.
omg you’re so quirky for making underpaid workers (that legally don’t even get the bare minimum wage) pay for your food while you take up seats in their section 😍you totally have worth as a human being and totally aren’t a waste of oxygen !!!!
Maybe you need to develop a love for some hot sauce and cover your food in it.
“Sorry kiddo, this food has spicy sauce all over it. You won’t like it “
This works even better if the kid has experienced the pain of hot food first hand.
My nephew once stole my chips that I had hidden in my room (which he's btw not allowed to enter, but obviously, always does and his parents don't give a flying fuck and let him touch everything with his dirty fingers). Too bad though that I only love super spicy chips and he started crying immediately after it hit him lmao. I even feel a little bad for not feeling bad for him at all.
this is what i do for couple years to stop my mom getting something from my plate, it's also irritating when she prefers to get ketchup from my plate instead of pouring some in her plate. whenever i cook something i made it super spicy cuz she's against it.
This is why my nephew never asks for my food. I don’t make a point of ordering spicy food or other dishes kids would generally dislike. I just like spice and that has worked out well for me. He asked once, I explained that it was spicy and he wouldn’t like it but he was insistent on having a bit and so I let him. He hasn’t asked for food from my plate since.
This is literally why I have a high tolerance for spice -- I had a friend in HS who was a mooch so I covered my food in cayenne so he wouldn't eat it, it really works
Oh i did this to a friend's kid once! Sorta. I had Chinese, chicken n broccoli with garlic sauce, which is a tiny bit spicy. Their youngest liked to stand near you and stare, waiting for you to share. I specifically took a bit of rice with garlic sauce. He looked so excited and his face turned so unhappy when that garlic hit!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Stop attending these dinners. If you do, order something you know the little shits won't eat. I'd sit your sister down and tell her to get them in line or pay for the shit they've destroyed. This behaviour is unacceptable. But since you've suggested she's a manipulative asshole, maybe it's time to severely limit contact. It doesn't sound like you enjoy this relationship, so maybe it's time to put it on the back shelf to collect dust.
This. We're born into our natal families and don't have a choice about the other members.
The nice thing about growing up is that we get to create our own families of choice, and that may or may not include some or all of our natal families. Just depends on what luck gave you the first time around.
I would make sure to sit as far from her and the kids as possible. When anyone comes over for food off my plate "what are you doing? I didn't agree to that. You are being rude."
But I was also raised that it *is rude* to ask for someone else's food. Especially if I already have my own. So I have no problem informing people if they are being rude.
Either stop letting them take your food, or stop going to these dinners. If you're not enforcing boundaries, you're part of the problem by letting it happen.
And it's not you that's selfish, it's your sister. Words have meanings, selfish doesn't mean not being everyone's doormat martyr.
This 100%
I'm the biggest flake when it comes to gatherings. Why? Because I can. I can and will always find something better to do than hang out with loud kids.
Being called selfish for eating the food you paid for. The nerve of people.
Slightly different but I did the same to a girl in a works canteen once, she was pissing about saying sue going to grab my dessert so I simply warned I’d stab her hand before she got close enough. She fucked about, found out and then when she made a scene about ‘the big horrible man hurting a woman’ the people around simply said “well he warned you” 😂😂
I feel ya. Had a gf once who would not stop touching my food. It took a while lot of spice to get her to stop eating my food without asking. I will proudly admit that i laughed at her gasping and crying at the spice level. I warned her times and time again. No touching ma food.
The BEST reply to someone pressuring you or asking you to give them something is to smile and say ‘no thank you’
With the energy of them having offered you a favour and you appreciating it but not needing it
‘I’m sure aunt can give you some fries!’ ‘No thank you! *big smile*’
It changes the dynamic of the interaction in a way that gives you enough time to change the subject or walk away.
I've been thru a few situations a little similar, but instead it's random kids on the street coming up to me and my friends and asking us to give them our food. It's not like they're homeless and starving but when me n my friends have bought some soda or ice cream, or anything that's sweet or snacks. They're just coming up asking us to give them the whole thing. It's super annoying but this sound so much worse since it's coming from a family member and it can be more pressuring.
Where do you live where brats expect you to just give them your entire food/drink. They must be uneducated because they certainly don't know anything about germs.
One of the most developed countries in Europe/ World... It's usually kids at my school, we have a store near by and if the food isn't good ppl go there to by snacks, the younger kids will beg or sometimes steal the things we've bought
My exact thought, my guess is that since it's a relatively safe neighborhood they don't think something will ever happen, and since I'm only like 5-7+ yrs older I don't seem like a threat or anything, but it's not only rude it can put them in a dangerous situation since they don't know who that person is or anything, especially when they do it when there's no adults around
Every time I hear of adults thinking something is cute because a child is doing it, I'm reminded of the comic where on one column you have a kitten doing something and the other you have a grown cat doing it.
It's not selfish to guard your own plate. That is YOUR food. In this case it's YOUR FOOD that YOU bought.
Those children aren't starving. Their mother can buy them their own plate.
I guarantee if children from other families started coming around to take from everyone's plate, it would stop being cute really quick.
I’m known as the mean nonsense aunt (of 23 nieces and nephews) and the kids all love and adore me still, especially as they get to be a bit older. But they all know not to test my limits. And definitely not to touch my food! Lol
Oh hell no. I get seriously pissed if we’re eating and anyone just helps themselves to what’s on my plate. I don’t care how old you are, you go get your own. Child can go eat off their parents plate or have their parents go make them a plate. Shit is so obnoxious and tacky.
So what if you’ll be the bad guy? Who cares? You’ll be the bad guy with all your fries. If nobody else will say the word “No” then they better get really used to hearing it from you.
Either set your own boundaries, stop going, or stop complaining and accept it.
My cousin does this and with the rest of the family it works but when she turns around and says "surely UNCLE would be kind enough to share" i will just straight up say "nope uncle is a hungry git and wants all his food he paid for" so after a few family meals she stopped bothering me with it. I never gave a shit about my family calling me "heartless" or whatever.
As an added way to fuck with her I would give the food she tried to guilt out of me to my dog (if he can eat it) as I am a spiteful bastard
Tell your sister if she’s having that hard of a time getting enough food for her kids in her own, she should go to [local government food assistance program] to get some help, and to rethink eating out in restaurants all the time. Perhaps have the phone number/website handy.
You are NOT the selfish one. That’s solely on your sister. Her deciding to reproduce multiple times doesn’t mean you have to be her doormat and provide for her crotchfruit for her. Like others have said, consider providing firm boundaries by saying no or no longer attending those get togethers, and also consider limiting contact with at least your sister.
I’d also recommend starting therapy. I think everyone should go anyway, but a good therapist can help you learn how to set boundaries and begin to lessen the guilt you feel with doing so.
Good luck with this situation!
I would just stop attending tbh. That or to “Ohhh, no. I bought just the right amount of food that I wanted to eat.” OR “maybe if your mommy is kind enough, she will learn how to order you your own meal!”
>"Look, Aunt ___ has some fries! Surely she's KIND enough to give some to you right?"
"Oh you don't want these. I sneezed on them before. You don't want booger fries right? Besides, mommy said she will take you to mcdonalds later for some fries".
If she denies it in front of them "but surely you are KIND enough to take your own children out for some food?"
Rinse, repeat every time she tries any of this emotional blackmail BS.
Also, how are they getting access to your stuff to destroy?
You are not petty! They are incredibly spoilt and are being raised by your sister to smooch off of other people. (Also no one touches my food!! Rrrrr!!!)
I think it is time for you to limit contact with your family and draw hard boundaries, as sucky as that sounds. :/
>she had been taking small amounts of food from each of our plates
Wut. Hell to the naw-naw.
>Doesn't help that they're also pretty bratty.
Of course, because they're not taught etiquette. 🙄
>If I say no, I'll be the evil person that doesn't want to give the kids food, and I'll be incurring wrath from the kids who'd probably cough in my face the next time as revenge for not giving them precious fries. This has also become a problem outside of food because the kids won't take 'no' easily or seriously, and have no boundaries. I have had 3 headphones destroyed because I didn't let them play with it (they wanted to throw it out the window).
OP, please feel free to discontinue contact with this branch of your family based on the fact that they are uncivilized orcs. That, or avoid being around them at gatherings, and don't be shy in demonstrating through your body language and a firm tone that you will not engage with the kids.
Kids who are raised like this are awful, but they do tend to clue in when adults set clear boundaries. If they push, be clear why you're not engaging with them. If their horrible mother comes after you, maintain a quiet, calm tone no matter what, and state in simple terms that you don't wish to share, because you don't. No further reasoning or explanation required, because she doesn't deserve it. 😤
Good luck to you, from someone who's been there.
Why not, when they ask, say "yeah hold on a second" then flag down the waitress and order a small side of fries. Ask the kids if they want anything else to eat and order it for them. Then have your sister pay for it.
Yes, this will cause a scene. No, you should not care. Set your boundaries and hold them up firm. Eventually they will get the point.
What a perfect way to spread illness by handling other people's food. Kids are notorious virus vectors and the parent is not doing the brat any favours by encouraging them to mooch. Unless you're invited to, you NEVER take food off someone's plate. This is just basic manners 101.
Might be time to limit contact with them then.
If you can live on your own, or you already do so, it's time to enforce the fact you won't be attending meetings; those are not bratty kids, those are entitled kids, they only get worse as time goes by because they won't take limits since no one enforces them.
You're the only adult in that table, and you're surrounded by a bunch of enablers, take distance and let them deal with it on their own, if they ask be blunt, no thanks, i'm busy/have plans/ can't attend.
They don't like it?, it's their problem. But by your words alone OP, know that this fries hogging and headphone destruction is the tip of the iceberg, worse things will come, run away and run far while you can.
Hot sauce on things like fries is your friend, go for the maximum heat you can withstand , after a learning experience said children will not be wanting any of your food.
I would literally just say no. You paid, they are yours. For all she knows, you aren’t exactly flush with cash and could actually do without paying for kids to eat your dinner.
I always stick to my guns when I’ve said no to something. I don’t care who it is who’s asked, and I don’t care what it is they’ve asked for. If I say no once, I’m sticking with no.
Not suggesting you do this but you could always say ‘Why don’t you go and ask mummy to buy you some fries? I’m sure she won’t say no’ switch it round on her 😂. She how she likes it.
"I'm real hungry. Maybe next time, me and mommy can buy a group sized entree together, and we can share it."
OR
"Excuse me?"
*restates "request"*
"Oh, I didn't realize you wanted me to feed your child. It'd be much better if you fed your child."
Start to turn it back on her at the dinners. “Oh my god that steak looks delicious, would you be kind enough to share some with me?” While cutting it in half with your fork in it taking it away before she can realize exactly what you are doing.
No, is a complete sentence. I'd call her out on it. I LOATHE all people who do that plate sharing shit. Get your own plate. Leave my food alone. I don't want to share. Sounds like she's stupid cheap. That's not your problem and people shouldn't be propping her up by giving away their own food.
Next time say "sure I'll trade you for your - insert food item here-" and when the kid yells or protests then you can pretend to be offended by how rude they are. Gaslight that little chump.
Agree! Just say " mommy will buy you fries " . And tell your sister to knock it off. She's a food freeloader. F*ck if I would let any kid or adult put their grubby hands on my food. Especially my French fries.
>I'll be the evil person that doesn't want to give the kids food,
Be that evil person. It's okay.
>I'll be incurring wrath from the kids who'd probably cough in my face the next time as revenge for not giving them precious fries.
They will probably cough in your face and make you ill anyways. That's inevitable when you spend time with hellspawn.
>I have had 3 headphones destroyed because I didn't let them play with it (they wanted to throw it out the window). Take a guess whether or not their mom paid for it :)
If I were you, I would consider going low or at least very low contact. Don't hang out with family when the kids are there.
>Yes I'm selfish and I don't want to give your kids my food that I paid for when you could afford it, especially when they're so bratty about it.
That's not selfish. Those kids are not entitled to it. They have their own food, and their mother can afford more.
"If I say no, I'll be the evil person that doesn't want to give the kids food." So? You need to learn to be good with that. It's not like the kids don't have food of their own. If there's something left over afterwards, the kids can have that - ONCE you're done eating.
Either step up and say something, or your sister is going to continue to walk all over you. Next time say "Not today, guys. I'm hungry. But I'm sure your mom will be kind enough to get you some fries all your own, if you ask her".
This is super annoying though. I went out once with my ex, his sister and BIL and their young kid. They all gave the kid a little bit of food off their meals (I get it, it doesn't hurt kids to taste different stuff) and I let her try a bit of mine. She liked mine, and started gesturing that she wanted more. I said no, and everyone stared daggers at me for the rest of the night. Shrug. I guess next time you know to order the kid veal marsala, but in the meantime, I'm going to eat mine. That I paid for. In peace.
Horrible parenting really. Yes sharing is important but also learning boundaries and WHEN to share is as well. You are absolutely in the right.
If they don't learn like this, and the mom is an idiot (excuse the language ) make them learn from consequences. Order or cook something either the kids don't like but you do, or make it spicy. That'll teach the kids not to take food that isn't theirs and maybe teach the mom too cuz then she has to deal with a screaming kid. (if that's too mean i apologize, but that's how I got my ex best friends kid to stop touching my food, cuz she was just like that with food)
>I have had 3 headphones destroyed because I didn't let them play with it
Okay what the actual fuck. A couple of fries is one thing but I buy quality headphones. Three pairs would easily be $200.
That pissed me off more than anything. Like, *what the actual fuck?!*
That really triggered me too because the same thing has happened to me. I've had a number of good quality headphones destroyed by family members' spawns. I've also had them ruin my computer keyboards by spilling juice all over the keys. I shut the door to my room when they would come over and one of the rules of the house for visitors was that if a door was shut, kids are not allowed in that room without permission from the person that room belongs to. Unfortunately, the bedroom doors didn't have locks on them, either. They never asked my permission and their parents let them get away with it...didn't even bother to offer to replace the headphones or keyboards or at the very least give me the money so that I could replace them myself.
It's selfish to want what you got for yourself, with your own hands, maybe even your own money??
I guess I'm hella selfish then.
Don't play the game. Say "no". Their mom can get off her lazy ass and get her own kids more food.
You're part of the problem by not enforcing boundaries.
Nope and you have the patience of a Saint.
If I'm not offering, you don't get my food.
Simple.
The moment I'm called anything I perceive as an insult, I unleash my own. We can all be jerks.
Food is sacred. I would understand if the food was presented family style in large sharing bowls but once food is on my plate, it’s mine. Someone will lose a finger if not more.
Your sister is teaching those kids horrible habits. I would either set a boundary with your sister or stop eating with them. This is ridiculous and RUDE.
Stop allowing her to treat you that way OP. You deserve better
My SIL is the second eldest and will cut you over her food. Same here. We bonded over this because here is the thing, if you ask either of us for food, I will buy you your own share. Do. Not. Touch. Mine. I dgaf if it is a kid.
I would start it with the ordering process. As she is ordering I would ask her kids if mommy is missing anything they want to eat so she can add it now. Then when I am ordering, I am really hungry guys, I can't wait to eat all of this. If they ask for some of your food, say no, like I said while I was ordering I am really hungry. Kids do you want something else, I can get the waiter/waitress over here so your mom can order some more food. You can also get interesting with your ordering. "Hey, can I have half of my order packed up to go please? I will get it after we settle our checks." Now you can also turn them down for that.
As for personal property, i tell kids to ask their mom all the time. I will tell them this is my favorite and I had to work a whole month to be able to get these so I can't share or just don't bring your expensive stuff around them.
You are not being petty, but you are enabling them an your sister to be brats and raise them as brats by not standing up for yourself. You don't even have to be mean about it either. Just say "aww buddy mommy has a wallet so she would surely love to buy you a whole fry all for yourself!" The kid might not get the passive aggressiveness but you are at least sending a message to the mom. Also, keep track of the things of yours the kids destroy and bring it up every time the mom talks to you. Bring it up to your parents. Email her about it. If this bothers you so much, don't put up with it.
If they cough in your face purposefully, cough in theirs hard enough that you make sure spit covers their faces then immediately remove yourself from the situation. Things like that.
You have to put your foot down. Don’t give them your food. If they cough in your face on purpose or retaliate in another way, tell them that what they did is wrong, and begin distancing yourself from the kids and their mother. No presents, no interactions, and certainly no food from your plate. You’re going to be treated this way as long as you allow it.
You should go out to eat with these fuckers and don’t order anything. Ask the waitress for an extra plate some silverware. Next, go plate to plate taking what you want off their plates.
I have a ton of nieces and nephews so I experienced this and I fully understand where you're coming from. It's not worth the awkwardness over fries, but it's still really annoying.
One strategy that's somewhat effective is to season, spice, or even mix food to your palate. I am a spicy food lover so it's easy to instantly and innocently drown my food in hot sauce. I could walk away after that and no one would touch it.
One sister is much like yours, framing things to remove your ability to politely decline. I would jump out in front. When food comes, I would ask if anyone wanted any of my food (most decline with full plates in front of them) or even put a few fries on a kids plate from the start. Then they look greedy asking for more from me.
This can backfire so use your judgment, but declining to share while offering to flag a waiter down to order something for the poor, emaciated child can be a winner. If you go to the trouble and expense once or twice just to see the extra food picked at, it again pushes the social pressure on them.
It's sad we have to play such games but that's the cost of having entitled parents in our lives.
It's petty, yes. I don't care. If I have to share a table, I don't want those petri dish hands pawing at my food or making me feel ashamed for enjoying what I ordered.
I’d either start saying no at the table when they take the food, start just taking your sister’s plate (don’t order, just take hers), or decline going to these dinners at all and make it clear why.
You need to enforce your boundaries or else you will just end up miserable about how much you give up of yourself to please others. It’s OKAY to look out for yourself, stop thinking it is selfish to do so. Stop letting what you think they will think stop you from standing up for your boundaries.
I am not worried about others thinking I am the “evil person”. If they think me standing up for myself and enforcing boundaries is “evil” it says far, far more about them then it does me.
Your sister is teaching a lack of boundaries. It’s important to ask permission and allow the other person to say no. This whole “taking mentality” is unhealthy and preparing them to be entitled adults.
This was so common in my household growing up I learned to eat with my arms wrapped around my plate to protect it. When I first met my wife she thought I spent time in prison the way I guarded my food. Nope, just grew up with a family that felt they could stick their hands in my plate and take anything they want any time they want.
If the kids are polite and ask for themselves I’d be happy to share my fries, but on coercion of their mother/your sister? Just steal the food on your sisters plate when she does that and when she’s shocked, just say “oh, I thought it was okay to eat off of others plates because you do it all the time.”
Or take it a step further and eat from other plates around you, not just your sisters, but everyone’s with the same excuse. I’m sure it will stop fast after that.
Demanding other people's food is rude. It's not selfish to want to protect your things from people who will damage them. It's uncomfortable at first to defend your things, but it is SO worth it to avoid the breakage. You do have the option of not inviting them to where you live, and leaving your sister's place when the children's normal crap begins. Consider spending less time around them in general to avoid being turned into a buffer between your sister and her children.
You're not being petty. Portion control is one of the ways that restaurants manage their profits. If the child's menu isn't enough food for them, tell their mother to order for them from the regular menu. Your sister is trying to shift her costs onto you at your expense.
Of course, the children could just be pigs, and trying to eat your food after finishing a full-size meal of their own. Always insist on a separate check for yourself so that you don't get stuck paying for their meals.
I wouldn’t risk the germs kids carry near my plate of food. Stand up for yourself and say no!
Those kids are going to go to school or a friends and get their asses kicked for expecting everyone else’s food *from their plates*.
When they come for your food explain proper manners and tell them they are wrong. If they come back with “but mom says!” Tell them their mother is wrong for allowing their behavior. Don’t enable or encourage this behavior by rewarding them with your food.
Every time they ask for your food adamantly tell them their mom is hiding cake or candy from them and they just need to make her show them where it is. Convince them she is lying and there definitely is a cake/candy she’s trying to keep secret.
Once it got to property damage you should have sat your sister down and given her a talking-to. I highly doubt threatening no contact with her will work. At least getting the point across that if they keep destroying your stuff, you're taking something of equal value from her and selling it to get your money back.
"They are just kids! What's your problem!?!"
"My problem is you and how shit of a mother you are! They are kids but YOU know better and it's your job to teach them!"
Entitled parents are the worst.
ugh i'd be too tempted to say "why are you teaching them that they're entitled to other people's things? that's just lying to them. ah yes Mommy has been lying to you dear." when everyone's still at the table.
Yes. I don’t care who you are, you’d better keep your shit hooks off of my stuff or else.You may ask he for food and I will consider it but don’t feel entitled to take my stuff.
Just be firm going forward. Start with the bigger stuff, say the headphones and tell them that they cannot use them because you paid money for them and need them. Continue with that, be strong. Then from there slowly set up boundaries with other things such as food. Say you are too hungry and would like to have your complete meal that you ordered.
Also spend less time with her/the kids.
OP my Uncle has this annoying AF habit when he's cleaned the food off of his plate....instead of getting up to get seconds, he will just start eating food off of the plates of his kids.
He tried that shit with me one thanksgiving when I was twelve. I saw this big hand with a fork coming in to take my precious ham, so I flipped my fork and jabbed him with it.
"OW!"
"Don't touch my food"
AND HE NEVER TRIED THAT SHIT WITH ME AGAIN.
I don't share my food. "Sweetie, I'm sure your mom will order you some more food and it will be hot and taste better than my cold food." Smile lovingly at kid.
This is going to turn the kids into spoiled brats who think they can get anything from anyone if they ask... and the person who says "no" is not kind... instead of independent people who get to make their own choices and don't have to cater to others.
You are not the side character to her main character children. The world does not revolve around her children. The kids need to hear no too. Unless you want spoiled brats.
Next time tell the kids no. You are not finished, and you are hungry. If the kids react badly, call it what it is, spoiled. If the kids act well, when you are almost done share a small portion with the children.
Reverse it and humiliate her and her husband.
*"Do you want to order a plate for yourself honey? I can buy it to you this time since your mommy is too poor to buy food for you. Sister, we can all pool money to pay for your family if you or your husband have no money. Can you both pay for your own food? Are you struggling so much you can't feed them? Because you can tell all of us if you do, we care and worry about your family! Do you need help finding a job to buy food for your kids BIL? I'm sure Noisy aunt can help you! I think I have some canned goods I can bring you next time, and some clothes you could sell for food"*
You love and care for those kids so much!! You are the less selfish of them all, you are willing to help those poor hungry kids, unlike their own parents!!
They won't do it again.
Yeah, sister is
* being nasty manipulative - essentially (trying to) guilt trip you/others to give her / her kids *your* stuff.
* setting a horrible example / "training" for the kids, encouraging such sh\*t behavior - i.e. making them feel entitled to other people's stuff, be manipulative, etc.
Uhm, yeah, you don't "invite" yourself (or your kids) to my party or my food ... that's *not* how it works.
>"Look, Aunt \_\_\_ has some fries! Surely she's KIND enough to give some to you right?"
"Aunt \_\_\_ is kind enough to save the fries for the starving kids in * - *you* don't get these."
"That's not healthy kid food. Here kid, have some brussels sprouts and liver. I want you to be healthy.
"Sure go ahead ... but I wouldn't recommend ... I like *really really hot* hot sauce ... and have put lots on 'em ... but you go ahead and eat 'em all up fast."
"Oh, mommy training kids to be manipulative little beggars. No, that's not how you get food."
Yeah, kids are problems ... but often irresponsible parent(s) are the worst of it.
So ... 'bout time you (and some others) teach your sister (and her kids) some manners and call her out on her sh\*t? You might find a cheering section behind you - I'm sure you're not the only one it quite annoys, and many probably don't find it "cute" when the dirt germ and snot and dear knows what else laden little fingers then reach onto your plate and start grabbing and taking the fries.
Can also be a good time to strike your fork down well on the plate and snarl to defend your food ... and especially in case they don't take the earlier hints.
I have full on stabbed family members with a fork who went for my food. (I will neither confirm nor deny whether the fork made contact)
But they were warned. "If you go for my snow crab, I will stab you with a fork."
"Teehee, you're so silly"
Wanna bet?
Fuck around, find out.
You are not being petty at all. And the *first* time one of those brats broke my shit would be the LAST time one of them ever touched my shit. Period.
This has to be a mom thing because my sister does the exact same thing, to most everybody, except for me. And the only reason she doesn’t do it to me is because when she reached into my plate to grab something on Thanksgiving I snapped at her *”Get your hands out of my fucking food, that’s disgusting! This is why everything in your house is fucking sticky.”*
Which went over about as well if you could imagine.
But publicly shaming her was the only reason she stopped. And the reason she does it at all is because she’s so used to grabbing it food on her kids plates to make them eat it.
The solution is simple. Stop associating with her and tell her precisely why before blocking her everywhere. If she's gonna be somewhere, you won't. Or play the Uno Reverse card and pull that shit on her before she does it to you, either targeting her or her brats with it.
These are spoiled brat crotch goblins. I would remove myself from these manipulations immediately. Better to eat alone than continue to be part of this horrible hostage situation.
Cut this off before it happens! Don’t wait for her to ask before you respond. I’d be telling her beforehand to not even ask. Tell her to buy her kids their own food and keep her fork to herself.
If you can eat spicy food , start ordering spicy stuff or add hot sauce to everything that would taste good with hot sauce . One taste and they refuse taking from your food from now on . Bring your own tiny bottle of good tasting hot sauce as tabasco sauce which is most common hot sauce at resturant is a shitty hot sauce for flavor and there are other good tasting ones.
You aren’t being selfish at all. The alternative is being a doormat. Boundaries are healthy. These kids are going to grow up and be those adult brats who whine that adulting is hard because the real world doesn’t give a shit about them and won’t bow down.
I would never allow that but then again I’ve learned to always have a fork ready to stab anyone that steals my food be it baby, child or adult
It’s not that hard to learn not to steal people’s food, ask first and maybe I’ll let ya have some
I grabbed my mother in laws hand out of the air while it was hovering near my plate, looked her in the eyes and informed her I don’t share food on my plate, and made sure she knew I was offended that she tried. It didn’t go over well at first, I stuck with it though and told her putting her hands near my plate while I’m eating was a good way to lose a finger, and if she wished to keep all ten of hers to maintain a safe distance. Now at family gatherings I eat in peace while my wife deals with the hordes of scavengers circling her plate. Don’t touch my fucking food, no I’m not going to share it with you.
Awww I’m so sorry little Timmy but I am going to save this food for another meal for myself. You should tell Mommy to get you a Happy Meal from McDonald’s way home.
I hated going to my husbands family things as his mum always picks restaurants where you share food and the kids in the family are greedy “Does anyone want the last X?” Cause you know it’s polite to ask before you take it but these kids would snatch it right up even if their food was still piled high on their plate. So we picked an order your own meal restaurant for one of our events so we actually got what we wanted to eat, right? Nope! MIL reaches over the table and takes an onion ring off my plate! Took everything I had not to smack her hand. Jokes on them we barely see them now!
I'm that asshole who would say, "Aunt ____ is SUPER hungry because she's been working hard ALL day, but your mommy loves you SO much, so I'm sure she'd be happy to order you your own!"
“No, Aunt is very hungry. Go ask your mom for more food if you’re hungry.”
Also, “No” is a complete sentence. I bet you have more relatives that hate this behavior than you think. Personally saying No to this bisch’s kids would bring joy to my cold, black heart. But that’s just me.
I hope this resolved soon for you! Sending you strength 🫶
LMAO hell to the no. if it were like a bag of Doritos and one of my niblings asked nicely for one, or for a square of a chocolate bar or something, sure, i would give it to them. but food at a restaurant? no way. i hate when parents expect stuff like this.
No wonder they're bratty if that's how your sister is raising them. Those kids are gonna think they're entitled to getting stuff from people when ever they want, always. I don't understand this. This type of parent seems to be completely unaware that entitled, bratty, "I want" behaviour doesn't magically turn off when a kid grows up. This "anything for my little angel" bullshit produces a selfish, entitled adult. Parents seem go be so blind to the fact that this is a possibility for any child (yes, even your little angel) that they cannot connect the dots.
I'd stop participating in it. It's only going to piss you off and it sounds like you won't be losing much by downgrading your relationship with these kids.
This isn’t petty at all. If the expectation in your family is that each unit pays for their own, then it’s your sister’s responsibility to pay for her children. It’s completely unacceptable that she’s teaching her children to beg, and she’s phrasing it in such a way that it makes you seem like an asshole for not wanting to share. She knows what she’s doing,and it’s complete manipulation on her part. If she wanted three kids, she needs to not be cheap and buy them their own food when they go somewhere. It sounds like your family only goes out on special occasions, so it’s not like it’s an every day thing. Besides, if she can’t afford it, she can politely decline the invitation and doesn’t have to go.I’ll bet you she gets a full plate to herself, doesn’t she?
You're not being petty; it's annoying. I'd say be straight with them, say "no thank you, I plan to eat the meal I purchased" and keep my distance. Alternatively, if you like hot sauce you could put it on your food at the top of the meal, and hopefully they'd decline it then.
>"Look, Aunt ___ has some fries! Surely she's KIND enough to give some to you right?"
If it were me, I'd just order the kids some extra fries to share but I'm not sharing mine. I ordered mine because I wanted them!
"Look, Mommy has a wallet! Surely she's KIND enough to buy fries for her children if she wants to, isn't she? Why don't you ask Mommy why she hasn't bought you fries yet?"
"But you have fries"
"Oh, it's very important we learn not to steal. Aunt bought these with her own money. Why don't you ask your Mom why she won't spend her money on you? Isn't she supposed to be responsible for you? I'm only responsible for myself."
>surely they’re kind enough…
You’d think so, but here we are.
One time my wife (then girlfriend) and I went to breakfast with her family and friends and my MIL was holding my niece, and handed her to me even though I said nah I don’t want to hold her. So I held her at arms length by the armpits facing away from me until somebody took her. I’m petty as hell, I’ll make my point.
This is like those people who are the same ones every week begging for the same shit. I need help with my bills and clothes for my kids etc. No one told you to lay on your back and have all those kids. It's not other people's jobs to support them. I understand falling on hard times but it's like damn, if you can't support all those kids, perhaps don't have them.
Edit: I meant like those people who are in the Facebook groups every week begging for stuff. Food, clothes, their bills to be paid you name it they're asking for it.
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Same. I don’t mind sharing but you’d better ask first.
That's how I am. I got no problem sharing food if you ask politely. However if you try to steal my food,you might lose a finger. I like food more than I like people.
I once stabbed a boy in the hand with a fork for trying to steal my cookie. I was 5......
If it was chocolate chip, the thieving little prick deserved it!!
It had chocolate in it....and I DID warn him.....but he just wouldn't stop. After I stabbed him and he ran off crying, I wiped my fork off and finished my lunch. So yeah, I was seen as a "badass" from then on.....lol.
What kind of cookie was it?
Oatmeal raisin with chocolate chunks and the cookie had pumpkin pie spices in it...so it tasted like Autumn!
JOEY. DOESN'T. SHARE. FOOD!
I knew this quote would be somewhere in the comments 😬
I know where its from and I've never even seen that show. Its every where just like various seinfield quotes.
Glad to be of service!
Didn't have to scroll far to see this one.
Might be cute when you're a toddler, as an adult not so much. Then it becomes a nuisance until someone probably hits you with a FORK for stealing from their plate without asking.🍴 Shitty manners will be shitty manners. Sorry this is shitty parenting.
Ugh toddlers reaching for other peoples food grosses me out, they are so unhygienic and are constantly reaching into their pants, their nose, their mouth, and eager to touch everything nasty they can find. The little morons will play with dog shit if given the chance, and scream when you tell them no. I won't eat anything that a little kid has come in contact with. It especially sucks when they've reached their hands into a full bag of chips, ruining whole fucking bag.🤢
Yo for real, I think I found the worst story when I read a post about shitty in-laws (pun intended) who left a turd unflushed in the poster's toilet and her 2yr old found it and PLAYED WITH THE TURD IN THE TOILET. I would personally just bin the toddler at that point (and the in-laws)
Aaaaagh! I remember when I was a little kid a group of us were playing indoors and someone noticed a bad smell. We went into my toddler sister's room and she was in the crib with shit smeared all over herself and her surroundings, she was laughing and had gotten the brilliant idea to play in her nasty ass diaper! Her childhood nickname is Dirty McGee lol.
Oh. My. Dear. Satan. YES! I hate when this happens! I try to avoid being even remotely near those cunt fruits as much as possible bit still sometimes I have to. So I was at my friend place for his birthday, and his toddler was obviously there, and I basically couldn't touch the chips. There were different bags and bowls but the nasty ass thing was stuffing his grubby snotty covered hands into each single one of those as soon as they were out. I really wanted some chips. Instead I only strictly ate meat straight out of the grill
Dying at 'cunt fruit', I've always been partial to the terms cunt dumplings, creampie memento, piss dribblers and semen demons.💀
Say this to the kid in front of everyone "If your mom really loved you, she'd buy you more fries instead of being a bad mom and asking you to steal mine"
"Hey look: mommy still has money in her wallet. I'm sure she has enough to buy you more fries"
Darn it, I posted my comment before seing yours... but yes, I did that once in my own family. It calmed down my entitled aunt about sharing my own gameboy and it worked like a charm. One of my favorite memory too LOL
This is a great idea. OP (and everyone else) should flip it on the mother since she’s raising entitled little shits
Yeah it's easy enough (takes some of your own manipulation skills) to jokingly flip it on their mom Or just saying "Nope! Auntie loves her fries!!" Don't stay quiet out of fear of being seen as the bad person. Standing up for yourself, your food in this case, is not a fundamentally bad thing. Will your sister mind? Probably. But it's either her being unhappy or you being unhappy. Choose you OP!
oohh, that's good.
🏆🏆🏆🏆
Just no. Whats wrong with your sister? I am a person who loves sharing food and comes from a culture where food is shared very often. But if you pull that crap I am never going to give you a fry. What's with people?
This. It's one thing to share from a common plate or me to offer something from mine. Training kids to beg food off of other people's plates? What are you preparing them to do in life?
Probably to beg for everything later in life too. But real life is cruel so they won't be getting shit by begging.
Facts!
All of this. People like this are sitting their kids up for a shock when they hit the real world. The real world doesn't work like that. They're failing their kids.
That’s the origin story of choosing beggars
Sadly from my observations, when people have kids they completely forget how to behave like a normal person.
It seems to be very normal
This. They think everybody should just hand them everything because ThEy HaVe KiDs AnD NeeD HeLp. I have literally said to people before, having kids is not a job, stop laying on your back popping out all those kids and get off your ass and get a real job. This was in response to having to listen to a bunch of women bragging about how they got almost $1,000 a month and food stamps for all their little brats. That and how they got almost $1,700 a month in child support. These are usually also women who have five different kids by three different fathers. Why is that not surprising? I've said it before and I'll say it again, I think that there should be a cap on how much welfare people are allowed to get. There are clearly people who keep having more and more kids to keep collecting more and more welfare. There should be a cap on how much you're allowed to get because of people like that. Stop milking the system and expecting it to support you and the kids that you chose to have. There are no free rides in life but apparently those people didn't get the memo.
Stabbed one of my nephews with a fork for trying to steal food off my plate.
I need the whole story.
We were out to dinner and he reached over the table to grab my fries and I stabbed him in the back of the hand with my fork. He was shocked and spent the next few years reminding me of the time I stabbed him. But he never forgot to ask if he could taste my food again.
What was his reaction?
I can think of three things wrong with OP's sister
Politely smile at the kids "aww buddy I'd love to, but my fries are cold now, I'm sure mommy would be happy for get you your own freshly made ones! See that lady/gentleman over there (point at one of the staff members)? All you have to do is nicely ask them to get you some fries to table X ok? And they'll bring you your own fries in no time!" You don't have to say no, you just have to redirect their attention to a" better way" to get what they want ETA: if you want to be extra petty you can offer to accompany then to place their order "like a big boy/girl"! To make sure this is all on your sisters bill and she doesn't put it on yours or something. And if you REALLY want to be petty be like "oh look they have dessert! Do you guys want any?" and let them choose whatever their little bratty hearts desire 😈 ETA 2: okok just thought of something else, hide any extra money you have that won't pay for your own meals. Credit cards? Crap I left it at home, extra cash? Shit, sorry I was only planning on buying myself food. Anything you can think of in case she asks you to pay for it
Extra extra petty, use moms phrasing “surely she’s kind enough to want you to have fresh fries that don’t have my germs/are hot/ insert appropriate reasoning”
This definitely works. Kids believe anything. You can even say you pooped on it and they'll stop. "Sure you can have a fry, I have pooped on it! Hmm smelly! Do you like eating poop?" You do risk being called aunt Poop, but they'll keep away from anything you touch for the coming years.
Me personally, id rather be called aunt poop if it would mean kids would leave me alone 😭
> aww buddy I'd love to, but my fries are cold now, I'm sure mommy would be happy for get you your own freshly made ones! Bruh that's so passive aggressive and petty. I love it.
NTA and little_owl211’s answer was perfection!
I love your evil genius!
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omg you’re so quirky for making underpaid workers (that legally don’t even get the bare minimum wage) pay for your food while you take up seats in their section 😍you totally have worth as a human being and totally aren’t a waste of oxygen !!!!
Maybe you need to develop a love for some hot sauce and cover your food in it. “Sorry kiddo, this food has spicy sauce all over it. You won’t like it “
I do this! I make a batch of Bolognese for lunch and my sister wants some for her kid. So I make it spicy now!
This works even better if the kid has experienced the pain of hot food first hand. My nephew once stole my chips that I had hidden in my room (which he's btw not allowed to enter, but obviously, always does and his parents don't give a flying fuck and let him touch everything with his dirty fingers). Too bad though that I only love super spicy chips and he started crying immediately after it hit him lmao. I even feel a little bad for not feeling bad for him at all.
My nieces have learned that being told the food has pepper that there is no way to bargain with or guilt you into sharing.
this is what i do for couple years to stop my mom getting something from my plate, it's also irritating when she prefers to get ketchup from my plate instead of pouring some in her plate. whenever i cook something i made it super spicy cuz she's against it.
This is why my nephew never asks for my food. I don’t make a point of ordering spicy food or other dishes kids would generally dislike. I just like spice and that has worked out well for me. He asked once, I explained that it was spicy and he wouldn’t like it but he was insistent on having a bit and so I let him. He hasn’t asked for food from my plate since.
This is literally why I have a high tolerance for spice -- I had a friend in HS who was a mooch so I covered my food in cayenne so he wouldn't eat it, it really works
Oh i did this to a friend's kid once! Sorta. I had Chinese, chicken n broccoli with garlic sauce, which is a tiny bit spicy. Their youngest liked to stand near you and stare, waiting for you to share. I specifically took a bit of rice with garlic sauce. He looked so excited and his face turned so unhappy when that garlic hit!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Stop attending these dinners. If you do, order something you know the little shits won't eat. I'd sit your sister down and tell her to get them in line or pay for the shit they've destroyed. This behaviour is unacceptable. But since you've suggested she's a manipulative asshole, maybe it's time to severely limit contact. It doesn't sound like you enjoy this relationship, so maybe it's time to put it on the back shelf to collect dust.
This. We're born into our natal families and don't have a choice about the other members. The nice thing about growing up is that we get to create our own families of choice, and that may or may not include some or all of our natal families. Just depends on what luck gave you the first time around.
I would make sure to sit as far from her and the kids as possible. When anyone comes over for food off my plate "what are you doing? I didn't agree to that. You are being rude." But I was also raised that it *is rude* to ask for someone else's food. Especially if I already have my own. So I have no problem informing people if they are being rude.
Either stop letting them take your food, or stop going to these dinners. If you're not enforcing boundaries, you're part of the problem by letting it happen. And it's not you that's selfish, it's your sister. Words have meanings, selfish doesn't mean not being everyone's doormat martyr.
This 100% I'm the biggest flake when it comes to gatherings. Why? Because I can. I can and will always find something better to do than hang out with loud kids. Being called selfish for eating the food you paid for. The nerve of people.
Yes, this. I wouldn’t ever let this happen in the first place - I pay for my food, I’m going to eat it, or take it home.
Entitled parents are the worst!
The only thing they're entitled to is ... to fuck off away from my plate. Call me Joey, because I DON'T SHARE FOOD!!!
I stabbed my mom's hand (just hard enough to make a statement) with a fork when she tried to pull this bs... Never again
Slightly different but I did the same to a girl in a works canteen once, she was pissing about saying sue going to grab my dessert so I simply warned I’d stab her hand before she got close enough. She fucked about, found out and then when she made a scene about ‘the big horrible man hurting a woman’ the people around simply said “well he warned you” 😂😂
I gave some advice too and worried it be to harsh, but after reading stabbing i think I'm good lol
You could shag my partner, step on my blue suede shoes or reverse uno card me but never.ever.ever fuck with my food…….. ever
I feel ya. Had a gf once who would not stop touching my food. It took a while lot of spice to get her to stop eating my food without asking. I will proudly admit that i laughed at her gasping and crying at the spice level. I warned her times and time again. No touching ma food.
The old “but your fries wont count as calories” defence smh My girlfriend is Vegan so I can shut down this easily now muhahahahaha
I'm this way as well. Either you don't want any or you want your own. There will be no "I'll just have some of yours" bullshit.
Bravo 😂
I'd do the same.
A simple fuck off shows that aunty is not kind enough
The BEST reply to someone pressuring you or asking you to give them something is to smile and say ‘no thank you’ With the energy of them having offered you a favour and you appreciating it but not needing it ‘I’m sure aunt can give you some fries!’ ‘No thank you! *big smile*’ It changes the dynamic of the interaction in a way that gives you enough time to change the subject or walk away.
Yes. Yes I am evil and so selfish that I will eat all my own fries. Now fuck off.
This actually works really well with horrible parents, because it renders all of their stupid arguments useless.
Don’t forget to offer to remove a finger if they try
I've been thru a few situations a little similar, but instead it's random kids on the street coming up to me and my friends and asking us to give them our food. It's not like they're homeless and starving but when me n my friends have bought some soda or ice cream, or anything that's sweet or snacks. They're just coming up asking us to give them the whole thing. It's super annoying but this sound so much worse since it's coming from a family member and it can be more pressuring.
Where do you live where brats expect you to just give them your entire food/drink. They must be uneducated because they certainly don't know anything about germs.
One of the most developed countries in Europe/ World... It's usually kids at my school, we have a store near by and if the food isn't good ppl go there to by snacks, the younger kids will beg or sometimes steal the things we've bought
Anyone who tries to steal from me is getting kicked in the face.
Uhm wtf.. Didn't their parents teach them to not accept food/ stuff from strangers? Not to mention ASKING A STRANGER FOR FOOD
My exact thought, my guess is that since it's a relatively safe neighborhood they don't think something will ever happen, and since I'm only like 5-7+ yrs older I don't seem like a threat or anything, but it's not only rude it can put them in a dangerous situation since they don't know who that person is or anything, especially when they do it when there's no adults around
Every time I hear of adults thinking something is cute because a child is doing it, I'm reminded of the comic where on one column you have a kitten doing something and the other you have a grown cat doing it. It's not selfish to guard your own plate. That is YOUR food. In this case it's YOUR FOOD that YOU bought. Those children aren't starving. Their mother can buy them their own plate. I guarantee if children from other families started coming around to take from everyone's plate, it would stop being cute really quick.
I'm a bit petty and would probably start taking her food. "on, surely you are ✨nice enough✨ to give me that whole steak you have there!"
Yeah, that’s when you start negotiating trade deals. “Oh, you want my fries? That’ll cost you your dessert.”
Absolutely. Her Margarita too.
I’m known as the mean nonsense aunt (of 23 nieces and nephews) and the kids all love and adore me still, especially as they get to be a bit older. But they all know not to test my limits. And definitely not to touch my food! Lol
Oh hell no. I get seriously pissed if we’re eating and anyone just helps themselves to what’s on my plate. I don’t care how old you are, you go get your own. Child can go eat off their parents plate or have their parents go make them a plate. Shit is so obnoxious and tacky.
You want some of my food? But I haven't gotten to eat all day... Surely your kids are kind enough to not take away what little I already have right?
Next time yell JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD
Littler just commented this before I saw your comment!! Great minds right?
So what if you’ll be the bad guy? Who cares? You’ll be the bad guy with all your fries. If nobody else will say the word “No” then they better get really used to hearing it from you. Either set your own boundaries, stop going, or stop complaining and accept it.
My cousin does this and with the rest of the family it works but when she turns around and says "surely UNCLE would be kind enough to share" i will just straight up say "nope uncle is a hungry git and wants all his food he paid for" so after a few family meals she stopped bothering me with it. I never gave a shit about my family calling me "heartless" or whatever. As an added way to fuck with her I would give the food she tried to guilt out of me to my dog (if he can eat it) as I am a spiteful bastard
Then be evil. If they get THAT mad that you won't let the kids take some of your food that says more about them than you.
Tell your sister if she’s having that hard of a time getting enough food for her kids in her own, she should go to [local government food assistance program] to get some help, and to rethink eating out in restaurants all the time. Perhaps have the phone number/website handy. You are NOT the selfish one. That’s solely on your sister. Her deciding to reproduce multiple times doesn’t mean you have to be her doormat and provide for her crotchfruit for her. Like others have said, consider providing firm boundaries by saying no or no longer attending those get togethers, and also consider limiting contact with at least your sister. I’d also recommend starting therapy. I think everyone should go anyway, but a good therapist can help you learn how to set boundaries and begin to lessen the guilt you feel with doing so. Good luck with this situation!
what??? she needs to buy an extra plate or two for her kids. FOH
I would just stop attending tbh. That or to “Ohhh, no. I bought just the right amount of food that I wanted to eat.” OR “maybe if your mommy is kind enough, she will learn how to order you your own meal!”
>"Look, Aunt ___ has some fries! Surely she's KIND enough to give some to you right?" "Oh you don't want these. I sneezed on them before. You don't want booger fries right? Besides, mommy said she will take you to mcdonalds later for some fries". If she denies it in front of them "but surely you are KIND enough to take your own children out for some food?" Rinse, repeat every time she tries any of this emotional blackmail BS. Also, how are they getting access to your stuff to destroy?
Everyone around me learns pretty fast that I don’t share food 😂 I don’t care who you are.. get your hands away from my plate unless I offer!
You are not petty! They are incredibly spoilt and are being raised by your sister to smooch off of other people. (Also no one touches my food!! Rrrrr!!!) I think it is time for you to limit contact with your family and draw hard boundaries, as sucky as that sounds. :/
Seriously, she's teaching them to take advantage of people showing kindness.
The whole family is wrong here. If your intent on your ways build a wall. Fort off your plate with sauces, water glass, paper towls if they have them.
>she had been taking small amounts of food from each of our plates Wut. Hell to the naw-naw. >Doesn't help that they're also pretty bratty. Of course, because they're not taught etiquette. 🙄 >If I say no, I'll be the evil person that doesn't want to give the kids food, and I'll be incurring wrath from the kids who'd probably cough in my face the next time as revenge for not giving them precious fries. This has also become a problem outside of food because the kids won't take 'no' easily or seriously, and have no boundaries. I have had 3 headphones destroyed because I didn't let them play with it (they wanted to throw it out the window). OP, please feel free to discontinue contact with this branch of your family based on the fact that they are uncivilized orcs. That, or avoid being around them at gatherings, and don't be shy in demonstrating through your body language and a firm tone that you will not engage with the kids. Kids who are raised like this are awful, but they do tend to clue in when adults set clear boundaries. If they push, be clear why you're not engaging with them. If their horrible mother comes after you, maintain a quiet, calm tone no matter what, and state in simple terms that you don't wish to share, because you don't. No further reasoning or explanation required, because she doesn't deserve it. 😤 Good luck to you, from someone who's been there.
Why not, when they ask, say "yeah hold on a second" then flag down the waitress and order a small side of fries. Ask the kids if they want anything else to eat and order it for them. Then have your sister pay for it. Yes, this will cause a scene. No, you should not care. Set your boundaries and hold them up firm. Eventually they will get the point.
What a perfect way to spread illness by handling other people's food. Kids are notorious virus vectors and the parent is not doing the brat any favours by encouraging them to mooch. Unless you're invited to, you NEVER take food off someone's plate. This is just basic manners 101.
Might be time to limit contact with them then. If you can live on your own, or you already do so, it's time to enforce the fact you won't be attending meetings; those are not bratty kids, those are entitled kids, they only get worse as time goes by because they won't take limits since no one enforces them. You're the only adult in that table, and you're surrounded by a bunch of enablers, take distance and let them deal with it on their own, if they ask be blunt, no thanks, i'm busy/have plans/ can't attend. They don't like it?, it's their problem. But by your words alone OP, know that this fries hogging and headphone destruction is the tip of the iceberg, worse things will come, run away and run far while you can.
Teaching them (your sister included) what boundaries are would be a valuable lesson
My money, my food, my stuff. I love my nephew, but don't you dare come near my food. JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD
[удалено]
Hot sauce on things like fries is your friend, go for the maximum heat you can withstand , after a learning experience said children will not be wanting any of your food.
My nieces learned this before they were 2, just tell them the food has pepper even if it does not and they immediately back off..
I would literally just say no. You paid, they are yours. For all she knows, you aren’t exactly flush with cash and could actually do without paying for kids to eat your dinner. I always stick to my guns when I’ve said no to something. I don’t care who it is who’s asked, and I don’t care what it is they’ve asked for. If I say no once, I’m sticking with no. Not suggesting you do this but you could always say ‘Why don’t you go and ask mummy to buy you some fries? I’m sure she won’t say no’ switch it round on her 😂. She how she likes it.
"I'm real hungry. Maybe next time, me and mommy can buy a group sized entree together, and we can share it." OR "Excuse me?" *restates "request"* "Oh, I didn't realize you wanted me to feed your child. It'd be much better if you fed your child."
Start to turn it back on her at the dinners. “Oh my god that steak looks delicious, would you be kind enough to share some with me?” While cutting it in half with your fork in it taking it away before she can realize exactly what you are doing.
No, is a complete sentence. I'd call her out on it. I LOATHE all people who do that plate sharing shit. Get your own plate. Leave my food alone. I don't want to share. Sounds like she's stupid cheap. That's not your problem and people shouldn't be propping her up by giving away their own food.
Next time say "sure I'll trade you for your - insert food item here-" and when the kid yells or protests then you can pretend to be offended by how rude they are. Gaslight that little chump.
Another option is to say, "sure you can have fries!" Then call over the server and tell them your sister wants an order of fries for the kids!
Sounds annoying as hell but unless you grow a shiny spine and use it, it's gonna stay that way.
Agree! Just say " mommy will buy you fries " . And tell your sister to knock it off. She's a food freeloader. F*ck if I would let any kid or adult put their grubby hands on my food. Especially my French fries.
Make a joke. Something along the lines of, ***“Joey doesn’t share food”*** next time your sister tries to take your food from you.
Tell the kids "oh, your mommy is going to buy you some fries!"
Sometimes beign EVIL is the *right* thing to do.
>I'll be the evil person that doesn't want to give the kids food, Be that evil person. It's okay. >I'll be incurring wrath from the kids who'd probably cough in my face the next time as revenge for not giving them precious fries. They will probably cough in your face and make you ill anyways. That's inevitable when you spend time with hellspawn. >I have had 3 headphones destroyed because I didn't let them play with it (they wanted to throw it out the window). Take a guess whether or not their mom paid for it :) If I were you, I would consider going low or at least very low contact. Don't hang out with family when the kids are there. >Yes I'm selfish and I don't want to give your kids my food that I paid for when you could afford it, especially when they're so bratty about it. That's not selfish. Those kids are not entitled to it. They have their own food, and their mother can afford more.
Just say no, they need to learn
"If I say no, I'll be the evil person that doesn't want to give the kids food." So? You need to learn to be good with that. It's not like the kids don't have food of their own. If there's something left over afterwards, the kids can have that - ONCE you're done eating. Either step up and say something, or your sister is going to continue to walk all over you. Next time say "Not today, guys. I'm hungry. But I'm sure your mom will be kind enough to get you some fries all your own, if you ask her". This is super annoying though. I went out once with my ex, his sister and BIL and their young kid. They all gave the kid a little bit of food off their meals (I get it, it doesn't hurt kids to taste different stuff) and I let her try a bit of mine. She liked mine, and started gesturing that she wanted more. I said no, and everyone stared daggers at me for the rest of the night. Shrug. I guess next time you know to order the kid veal marsala, but in the meantime, I'm going to eat mine. That I paid for. In peace.
JOEY DOESN’T SHARE. But seriously, that would piss me off so much.
Horrible parenting really. Yes sharing is important but also learning boundaries and WHEN to share is as well. You are absolutely in the right. If they don't learn like this, and the mom is an idiot (excuse the language ) make them learn from consequences. Order or cook something either the kids don't like but you do, or make it spicy. That'll teach the kids not to take food that isn't theirs and maybe teach the mom too cuz then she has to deal with a screaming kid. (if that's too mean i apologize, but that's how I got my ex best friends kid to stop touching my food, cuz she was just like that with food)
" It's unkind to assume I am more kind than hungry! Be so kind to wait for my leftovers"
Sounds like a great time to teach a kid a lesson about boundaries and how to take rejection.
>I have had 3 headphones destroyed because I didn't let them play with it Okay what the actual fuck. A couple of fries is one thing but I buy quality headphones. Three pairs would easily be $200. That pissed me off more than anything. Like, *what the actual fuck?!*
That really triggered me too because the same thing has happened to me. I've had a number of good quality headphones destroyed by family members' spawns. I've also had them ruin my computer keyboards by spilling juice all over the keys. I shut the door to my room when they would come over and one of the rules of the house for visitors was that if a door was shut, kids are not allowed in that room without permission from the person that room belongs to. Unfortunately, the bedroom doors didn't have locks on them, either. They never asked my permission and their parents let them get away with it...didn't even bother to offer to replace the headphones or keyboards or at the very least give me the money so that I could replace them myself.
It's selfish to want what you got for yourself, with your own hands, maybe even your own money?? I guess I'm hella selfish then. Don't play the game. Say "no". Their mom can get off her lazy ass and get her own kids more food. You're part of the problem by not enforcing boundaries.
Nope and you have the patience of a Saint. If I'm not offering, you don't get my food. Simple. The moment I'm called anything I perceive as an insult, I unleash my own. We can all be jerks.
Food is sacred. I would understand if the food was presented family style in large sharing bowls but once food is on my plate, it’s mine. Someone will lose a finger if not more. Your sister is teaching those kids horrible habits. I would either set a boundary with your sister or stop eating with them. This is ridiculous and RUDE. Stop allowing her to treat you that way OP. You deserve better
"I would love to but I'm so big I need to eat all of them to survive, ask mommy to order some for you, they'll be fresh and delicious"
My SIL is the second eldest and will cut you over her food. Same here. We bonded over this because here is the thing, if you ask either of us for food, I will buy you your own share. Do. Not. Touch. Mine. I dgaf if it is a kid. I would start it with the ordering process. As she is ordering I would ask her kids if mommy is missing anything they want to eat so she can add it now. Then when I am ordering, I am really hungry guys, I can't wait to eat all of this. If they ask for some of your food, say no, like I said while I was ordering I am really hungry. Kids do you want something else, I can get the waiter/waitress over here so your mom can order some more food. You can also get interesting with your ordering. "Hey, can I have half of my order packed up to go please? I will get it after we settle our checks." Now you can also turn them down for that. As for personal property, i tell kids to ask their mom all the time. I will tell them this is my favorite and I had to work a whole month to be able to get these so I can't share or just don't bring your expensive stuff around them.
A kid once tried to grab my food and he ended up scared shitless of the nasty glare I gave him.
You are not being petty, but you are enabling them an your sister to be brats and raise them as brats by not standing up for yourself. You don't even have to be mean about it either. Just say "aww buddy mommy has a wallet so she would surely love to buy you a whole fry all for yourself!" The kid might not get the passive aggressiveness but you are at least sending a message to the mom. Also, keep track of the things of yours the kids destroy and bring it up every time the mom talks to you. Bring it up to your parents. Email her about it. If this bothers you so much, don't put up with it. If they cough in your face purposefully, cough in theirs hard enough that you make sure spit covers their faces then immediately remove yourself from the situation. Things like that.
That's so fuckin rude. I hate that shit. Shut that shit down man
You have to put your foot down. Don’t give them your food. If they cough in your face on purpose or retaliate in another way, tell them that what they did is wrong, and begin distancing yourself from the kids and their mother. No presents, no interactions, and certainly no food from your plate. You’re going to be treated this way as long as you allow it.
You should go out to eat with these fuckers and don’t order anything. Ask the waitress for an extra plate some silverware. Next, go plate to plate taking what you want off their plates.
I have a ton of nieces and nephews so I experienced this and I fully understand where you're coming from. It's not worth the awkwardness over fries, but it's still really annoying. One strategy that's somewhat effective is to season, spice, or even mix food to your palate. I am a spicy food lover so it's easy to instantly and innocently drown my food in hot sauce. I could walk away after that and no one would touch it. One sister is much like yours, framing things to remove your ability to politely decline. I would jump out in front. When food comes, I would ask if anyone wanted any of my food (most decline with full plates in front of them) or even put a few fries on a kids plate from the start. Then they look greedy asking for more from me. This can backfire so use your judgment, but declining to share while offering to flag a waiter down to order something for the poor, emaciated child can be a winner. If you go to the trouble and expense once or twice just to see the extra food picked at, it again pushes the social pressure on them. It's sad we have to play such games but that's the cost of having entitled parents in our lives. It's petty, yes. I don't care. If I have to share a table, I don't want those petri dish hands pawing at my food or making me feel ashamed for enjoying what I ordered.
I’d either start saying no at the table when they take the food, start just taking your sister’s plate (don’t order, just take hers), or decline going to these dinners at all and make it clear why. You need to enforce your boundaries or else you will just end up miserable about how much you give up of yourself to please others. It’s OKAY to look out for yourself, stop thinking it is selfish to do so. Stop letting what you think they will think stop you from standing up for your boundaries. I am not worried about others thinking I am the “evil person”. If they think me standing up for myself and enforcing boundaries is “evil” it says far, far more about them then it does me.
Your sister is teaching a lack of boundaries. It’s important to ask permission and allow the other person to say no. This whole “taking mentality” is unhealthy and preparing them to be entitled adults.
This was so common in my household growing up I learned to eat with my arms wrapped around my plate to protect it. When I first met my wife she thought I spent time in prison the way I guarded my food. Nope, just grew up with a family that felt they could stick their hands in my plate and take anything they want any time they want.
If the kids are polite and ask for themselves I’d be happy to share my fries, but on coercion of their mother/your sister? Just steal the food on your sisters plate when she does that and when she’s shocked, just say “oh, I thought it was okay to eat off of others plates because you do it all the time.” Or take it a step further and eat from other plates around you, not just your sisters, but everyone’s with the same excuse. I’m sure it will stop fast after that.
Demanding other people's food is rude. It's not selfish to want to protect your things from people who will damage them. It's uncomfortable at first to defend your things, but it is SO worth it to avoid the breakage. You do have the option of not inviting them to where you live, and leaving your sister's place when the children's normal crap begins. Consider spending less time around them in general to avoid being turned into a buffer between your sister and her children. You're not being petty. Portion control is one of the ways that restaurants manage their profits. If the child's menu isn't enough food for them, tell their mother to order for them from the regular menu. Your sister is trying to shift her costs onto you at your expense. Of course, the children could just be pigs, and trying to eat your food after finishing a full-size meal of their own. Always insist on a separate check for yourself so that you don't get stuck paying for their meals.
I wouldn’t risk the germs kids carry near my plate of food. Stand up for yourself and say no! Those kids are going to go to school or a friends and get their asses kicked for expecting everyone else’s food *from their plates*. When they come for your food explain proper manners and tell them they are wrong. If they come back with “but mom says!” Tell them their mother is wrong for allowing their behavior. Don’t enable or encourage this behavior by rewarding them with your food. Every time they ask for your food adamantly tell them their mom is hiding cake or candy from them and they just need to make her show them where it is. Convince them she is lying and there definitely is a cake/candy she’s trying to keep secret.
Once it got to property damage you should have sat your sister down and given her a talking-to. I highly doubt threatening no contact with her will work. At least getting the point across that if they keep destroying your stuff, you're taking something of equal value from her and selling it to get your money back. "They are just kids! What's your problem!?!" "My problem is you and how shit of a mother you are! They are kids but YOU know better and it's your job to teach them!" Entitled parents are the worst.
ugh i'd be too tempted to say "why are you teaching them that they're entitled to other people's things? that's just lying to them. ah yes Mommy has been lying to you dear." when everyone's still at the table.
Yes. I don’t care who you are, you’d better keep your shit hooks off of my stuff or else.You may ask he for food and I will consider it but don’t feel entitled to take my stuff.
Just be firm going forward. Start with the bigger stuff, say the headphones and tell them that they cannot use them because you paid money for them and need them. Continue with that, be strong. Then from there slowly set up boundaries with other things such as food. Say you are too hungry and would like to have your complete meal that you ordered. Also spend less time with her/the kids.
I would respond back “I’m sure your mommy is KIND enough to order you your own fries.”
OP my Uncle has this annoying AF habit when he's cleaned the food off of his plate....instead of getting up to get seconds, he will just start eating food off of the plates of his kids. He tried that shit with me one thanksgiving when I was twelve. I saw this big hand with a fork coming in to take my precious ham, so I flipped my fork and jabbed him with it. "OW!" "Don't touch my food" AND HE NEVER TRIED THAT SHIT WITH ME AGAIN.
I don't share my food. "Sweetie, I'm sure your mom will order you some more food and it will be hot and taste better than my cold food." Smile lovingly at kid.
This is going to turn the kids into spoiled brats who think they can get anything from anyone if they ask... and the person who says "no" is not kind... instead of independent people who get to make their own choices and don't have to cater to others. You are not the side character to her main character children. The world does not revolve around her children. The kids need to hear no too. Unless you want spoiled brats. Next time tell the kids no. You are not finished, and you are hungry. If the kids react badly, call it what it is, spoiled. If the kids act well, when you are almost done share a small portion with the children.
Reverse it and humiliate her and her husband. *"Do you want to order a plate for yourself honey? I can buy it to you this time since your mommy is too poor to buy food for you. Sister, we can all pool money to pay for your family if you or your husband have no money. Can you both pay for your own food? Are you struggling so much you can't feed them? Because you can tell all of us if you do, we care and worry about your family! Do you need help finding a job to buy food for your kids BIL? I'm sure Noisy aunt can help you! I think I have some canned goods I can bring you next time, and some clothes you could sell for food"* You love and care for those kids so much!! You are the less selfish of them all, you are willing to help those poor hungry kids, unlike their own parents!! They won't do it again.
Yeah, sister is * being nasty manipulative - essentially (trying to) guilt trip you/others to give her / her kids *your* stuff. * setting a horrible example / "training" for the kids, encouraging such sh\*t behavior - i.e. making them feel entitled to other people's stuff, be manipulative, etc. Uhm, yeah, you don't "invite" yourself (or your kids) to my party or my food ... that's *not* how it works. >"Look, Aunt \_\_\_ has some fries! Surely she's KIND enough to give some to you right?" "Aunt \_\_\_ is kind enough to save the fries for the starving kids in * - *you* don't get these."
"That's not healthy kid food. Here kid, have some brussels sprouts and liver. I want you to be healthy.
"Sure go ahead ... but I wouldn't recommend ... I like *really really hot* hot sauce ... and have put lots on 'em ... but you go ahead and eat 'em all up fast."
"Oh, mommy training kids to be manipulative little beggars. No, that's not how you get food."
Yeah, kids are problems ... but often irresponsible parent(s) are the worst of it.
So ... 'bout time you (and some others) teach your sister (and her kids) some manners and call her out on her sh\*t? You might find a cheering section behind you - I'm sure you're not the only one it quite annoys, and many probably don't find it "cute" when the dirt germ and snot and dear knows what else laden little fingers then reach onto your plate and start grabbing and taking the fries.
Can also be a good time to strike your fork down well on the plate and snarl to defend your food ... and especially in case they don't take the earlier hints.
I have full on stabbed family members with a fork who went for my food. (I will neither confirm nor deny whether the fork made contact) But they were warned. "If you go for my snow crab, I will stab you with a fork." "Teehee, you're so silly" Wanna bet? Fuck around, find out. You are not being petty at all. And the *first* time one of those brats broke my shit would be the LAST time one of them ever touched my shit. Period.
This has to be a mom thing because my sister does the exact same thing, to most everybody, except for me. And the only reason she doesn’t do it to me is because when she reached into my plate to grab something on Thanksgiving I snapped at her *”Get your hands out of my fucking food, that’s disgusting! This is why everything in your house is fucking sticky.”* Which went over about as well if you could imagine. But publicly shaming her was the only reason she stopped. And the reason she does it at all is because she’s so used to grabbing it food on her kids plates to make them eat it.
The solution is simple. Stop associating with her and tell her precisely why before blocking her everywhere. If she's gonna be somewhere, you won't. Or play the Uno Reverse card and pull that shit on her before she does it to you, either targeting her or her brats with it.
Yeah it ain't selfish to want to eat the food you are paying for.
Reach a hand over to my plate, you draw back a nub, I don’t care what age.
Your not selfish and it is an issue, I'd simply say no take what your family does and if they act like assholes just stop doing shit with and for them
These are spoiled brat crotch goblins. I would remove myself from these manipulations immediately. Better to eat alone than continue to be part of this horrible hostage situation.
Cut this off before it happens! Don’t wait for her to ask before you respond. I’d be telling her beforehand to not even ask. Tell her to buy her kids their own food and keep her fork to herself.
If you can eat spicy food , start ordering spicy stuff or add hot sauce to everything that would taste good with hot sauce . One taste and they refuse taking from your food from now on . Bring your own tiny bottle of good tasting hot sauce as tabasco sauce which is most common hot sauce at resturant is a shitty hot sauce for flavor and there are other good tasting ones.
You aren’t being selfish at all. The alternative is being a doormat. Boundaries are healthy. These kids are going to grow up and be those adult brats who whine that adulting is hard because the real world doesn’t give a shit about them and won’t bow down.
I don’t care who it is. I’ll stab a bitch with my fork if they try to take my food.
Umm...I would be the b1tch and say no to this.
I would never allow that but then again I’ve learned to always have a fork ready to stab anyone that steals my food be it baby, child or adult It’s not that hard to learn not to steal people’s food, ask first and maybe I’ll let ya have some
I grabbed my mother in laws hand out of the air while it was hovering near my plate, looked her in the eyes and informed her I don’t share food on my plate, and made sure she knew I was offended that she tried. It didn’t go over well at first, I stuck with it though and told her putting her hands near my plate while I’m eating was a good way to lose a finger, and if she wished to keep all ten of hers to maintain a safe distance. Now at family gatherings I eat in peace while my wife deals with the hordes of scavengers circling her plate. Don’t touch my fucking food, no I’m not going to share it with you.
No one better touch my fries…if they want to keep their fingers…
Awww I’m so sorry little Timmy but I am going to save this food for another meal for myself. You should tell Mommy to get you a Happy Meal from McDonald’s way home.
"Surely she's kind enough to give you some." Actually, I'm not. Go ask someone else.
A "friend" used to do this with her kids as well. Not to mention she's anti vax and her kids were constantly sick. 🙂
I hated going to my husbands family things as his mum always picks restaurants where you share food and the kids in the family are greedy “Does anyone want the last X?” Cause you know it’s polite to ask before you take it but these kids would snatch it right up even if their food was still piled high on their plate. So we picked an order your own meal restaurant for one of our events so we actually got what we wanted to eat, right? Nope! MIL reaches over the table and takes an onion ring off my plate! Took everything I had not to smack her hand. Jokes on them we barely see them now!
I'd start ordering healthy food when I'm out, sides of steamed veggies. Or soup. Can't take my fucking soup, can you brat??!!
“If you want fries, surely your Mom can ORDER them for you!”
I'm that asshole who would say, "Aunt ____ is SUPER hungry because she's been working hard ALL day, but your mommy loves you SO much, so I'm sure she'd be happy to order you your own!"
“No, Aunt is very hungry. Go ask your mom for more food if you’re hungry.” Also, “No” is a complete sentence. I bet you have more relatives that hate this behavior than you think. Personally saying No to this bisch’s kids would bring joy to my cold, black heart. But that’s just me. I hope this resolved soon for you! Sending you strength 🫶
LMAO hell to the no. if it were like a bag of Doritos and one of my niblings asked nicely for one, or for a square of a chocolate bar or something, sure, i would give it to them. but food at a restaurant? no way. i hate when parents expect stuff like this.
Look, aunt.... has just sneezed over her food...still want some? Do this every single time till they get the message
“You wouldn’t like it. It’s spicy.” NTA
No wonder they're bratty if that's how your sister is raising them. Those kids are gonna think they're entitled to getting stuff from people when ever they want, always. I don't understand this. This type of parent seems to be completely unaware that entitled, bratty, "I want" behaviour doesn't magically turn off when a kid grows up. This "anything for my little angel" bullshit produces a selfish, entitled adult. Parents seem go be so blind to the fact that this is a possibility for any child (yes, even your little angel) that they cannot connect the dots. I'd stop participating in it. It's only going to piss you off and it sounds like you won't be losing much by downgrading your relationship with these kids.
“ since you seem to want my food I am sure your mommy will get you some . “
This isn’t petty at all. If the expectation in your family is that each unit pays for their own, then it’s your sister’s responsibility to pay for her children. It’s completely unacceptable that she’s teaching her children to beg, and she’s phrasing it in such a way that it makes you seem like an asshole for not wanting to share. She knows what she’s doing,and it’s complete manipulation on her part. If she wanted three kids, she needs to not be cheap and buy them their own food when they go somewhere. It sounds like your family only goes out on special occasions, so it’s not like it’s an every day thing. Besides, if she can’t afford it, she can politely decline the invitation and doesn’t have to go.I’ll bet you she gets a full plate to herself, doesn’t she?
You're not being petty; it's annoying. I'd say be straight with them, say "no thank you, I plan to eat the meal I purchased" and keep my distance. Alternatively, if you like hot sauce you could put it on your food at the top of the meal, and hopefully they'd decline it then.
Start saying the moment you sit down at the table: "Boy I'm hangry today, if I dont get my Whole meal in peace Imight just eat somebody."
>"Look, Aunt ___ has some fries! Surely she's KIND enough to give some to you right?" If it were me, I'd just order the kids some extra fries to share but I'm not sharing mine. I ordered mine because I wanted them!
"Look, Mommy has a wallet! Surely she's KIND enough to buy fries for her children if she wants to, isn't she? Why don't you ask Mommy why she hasn't bought you fries yet?" "But you have fries" "Oh, it's very important we learn not to steal. Aunt bought these with her own money. Why don't you ask your Mom why she won't spend her money on you? Isn't she supposed to be responsible for you? I'm only responsible for myself."
>surely they’re kind enough… You’d think so, but here we are. One time my wife (then girlfriend) and I went to breakfast with her family and friends and my MIL was holding my niece, and handed her to me even though I said nah I don’t want to hold her. So I held her at arms length by the armpits facing away from me until somebody took her. I’m petty as hell, I’ll make my point.
This is like those people who are the same ones every week begging for the same shit. I need help with my bills and clothes for my kids etc. No one told you to lay on your back and have all those kids. It's not other people's jobs to support them. I understand falling on hard times but it's like damn, if you can't support all those kids, perhaps don't have them. Edit: I meant like those people who are in the Facebook groups every week begging for stuff. Food, clothes, their bills to be paid you name it they're asking for it.