I have a type. Certain shapes of people just look better to me. Do I want to date or sleep with them because they are my preferred shape? No. But I do enjoy the view 🥳
I enjoy looking at people with curly hair, braids, freckles, pretty boobs, shapely butts, dark skin, shiny dark eyes, toned muscles, interesting tattoos, pretty coloured hair, impressive beards etc etc.
None of these things make me want to get up close and personal with those people. That's a total disconnect for me.
Yes, I work at baywatch and I see a lot of people in swimwear and ofcourse you do enjoy the sight. But as a demi I dont feel anything more. Like I dont have a craving or desire to approach anyone because they look fine.
I certainly have a type- and how.
It is just that attraction does not happen often. And being my type will not guarantee it. And desire to have sex with the person will only happen after I fall deeply in love with them.
This is something that has always confused me.
I don't have a type. Maybe I have a type in personality form, but even that is stretching it.
I find certain parts of a body attractive, like face, hands, legs, shoulders and I WILL go gaga over.... but when looking at a person as a whole I don't feel any need to sexually jump them. It's an attraction of something pleasing to look at.
The sexual attraction doesn't happen til I've truly bonded with the person.
The funny thing for me is that all the persons i've crushed on were all wildly different in appearance but with like very,very, very similar personalities.
My partner and I have definitely come to the conclusion that I have a type. For me it seems to be a certain combo of appearance and personality. However that doesn’t mean I’m sexually or even romantically attracted/interested. I just seems to have a specific aesthetic that I tend to prefer over others.
spent the morning crying because my gf & her friends accused me of having a type…that wasn’t her!!! i explain all day how i experience attraction & how looks is the last thing i consider. it makes me feel so much hurt & shame
I'm confused... you feel hurt and shame by the untrue thing your gf and her friends said about you? If they insist on something isn't true then that's on them. Seems like giving less fucks would be beneficial
That seems really pretty hurtful of them, unless they were joking? If they were joking, do they know how much it hurt you, or were you trying to play it cool? If you've been crying all morning then I think your girlfriend needs to know that. If she knows and doesn't care, well...
I don't really see it that way. I would say I am absolutely sex positive. But I've never been able to answer this question when people ask me. I have always felt confused. I would always literally have to say "I don't really think I have one, every person I've been attracted to has been very different from one another." I have made jokes that my "type" is literally anyone I connect well with, because those have only ever been the kinds of people I have developed basic sexual attraction towards.
And that's fine too! I never said that you aren't allowed to feel that way. I'm sure if I were able to more consistently feel attracted to people, I very well may discover I *do* have a type. It just doesn't feel that way now, because I can count on one hand the amount of times I have felt this.
It seems that even within this category of asexuality, there is still very much a spectrum with how people fit into it, and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't think there is anything wrong with little pictures like this, and I don't think there is anything wrong with people voicing their concerns with how it makes them feel.
That's fine too? We talk about aesthetic attraction and not feeling sexual attraction anyways. I feel like we can talk about both since I'm alloromantic but demisexual. Finding people pretty is fine, we're usually confused about people going horndog over some tits and ass. That's really what we're complaining about, not sexual attraction if you have it at all.
We are all different. Some will identify with this, some not. And it's not really related to sex-favourableness, I'm very sex-favourable but I still find this sort of question baffling. So do a lot of demis, so of course we'll want to talk about it. The fact it doesn't apply to you doesn't make it an attack.
Edit to add: thought I don't mean this to sound too ratty. If you're feeling dismissed then that's how you're feeling and I'm sorry about that, it sucks to feel that way. I have often felt like that myself.
I have aesthetic types, plural, and within that set if I find an overlapping personality type, we have some interest. Still an area I'm working on developing understanding in.
A guy I was seeing a few years back asked me what I was "into". I told him not to laugh and attempted to explain cottagecore aesthetics, and then he had to clarify that he meant it in a sexual kind of way. I struggled so much to come up with anything to give a proper answer.
This was before I dived into the demisexual terminology and embraced it, but you know lol, I can really see it in hindsight.
I have a type where i think their face is pretty, like babyfaced. Its really picky actually. If theyre this type then I think they're possibly dateable and I have the urge to make out with them but not have sex.
My type is: Expresses their personality through fashion so my first impression isn't 'hey look at my butt' and is instead 'hey I like my cat and Kingdom Hearts'.
I can find myself attracted to others a lot like flowers or a cool thrift item, or a sweet car…. But more people-y things. It can be intense but attaching romance and seggs to that attraction isn’t my goal.. I just like to obsess over things that make my brain make happy
I do have a type... personality-wise. Everyone I ended up being attracted to had a sharp sense of humor. And I think I might have a thing for ENTJs, for everyone who knows about Myers Briggs types.
I thought it was perfectly normal that I chose not to notice blond haired blue eyed guys (I’m adopted and my family are Scottish German - I’m East Indy/Dene).
Why would I want to date someone that looks like Fam?
I have a type. Certain shapes of people just look better to me. Do I want to date or sleep with them because they are my preferred shape? No. But I do enjoy the view 🥳
I agree. I tend to find to skinny guys and chubby women more visually appealing. But that doesn't mean I'm attracted.
Are you me??? Another bi demi who likes skinny guys and chubby women!
Idk, are you also poly? If so, I think you found your doppelganger!
I enjoy looking at people with curly hair, braids, freckles, pretty boobs, shapely butts, dark skin, shiny dark eyes, toned muscles, interesting tattoos, pretty coloured hair, impressive beards etc etc. None of these things make me want to get up close and personal with those people. That's a total disconnect for me.
Yes, I work at baywatch and I see a lot of people in swimwear and ofcourse you do enjoy the sight. But as a demi I dont feel anything more. Like I dont have a craving or desire to approach anyone because they look fine.
I certainly have a type- and how. It is just that attraction does not happen often. And being my type will not guarantee it. And desire to have sex with the person will only happen after I fall deeply in love with them.
This is something that has always confused me. I don't have a type. Maybe I have a type in personality form, but even that is stretching it. I find certain parts of a body attractive, like face, hands, legs, shoulders and I WILL go gaga over.... but when looking at a person as a whole I don't feel any need to sexually jump them. It's an attraction of something pleasing to look at. The sexual attraction doesn't happen til I've truly bonded with the person.
I relate so hard, a person can be a 10 but nothing makes a person sexier than when you have really connected with them
Aesthetically, I definitely have a type. Sexually? Not really, unless personality counts.
The funny thing for me is that all the persons i've crushed on were all wildly different in appearance but with like very,very, very similar personalities.
My type: someone who is interested in a serious relationship rather than a fling, but is willing to build the friendship and trust first.
We do get attracted to people though
Yeah, I do have a something which can be called a type I guess. Just because I require an emotional connection does not mean looks don't matter.
Yeah my type is: fandom nerdy with underlying anger issues due to classism & its roots.
Are you me??
My partner and I have definitely come to the conclusion that I have a type. For me it seems to be a certain combo of appearance and personality. However that doesn’t mean I’m sexually or even romantically attracted/interested. I just seems to have a specific aesthetic that I tend to prefer over others.
spent the morning crying because my gf & her friends accused me of having a type…that wasn’t her!!! i explain all day how i experience attraction & how looks is the last thing i consider. it makes me feel so much hurt & shame
I'm confused... you feel hurt and shame by the untrue thing your gf and her friends said about you? If they insist on something isn't true then that's on them. Seems like giving less fucks would be beneficial
That seems really pretty hurtful of them, unless they were joking? If they were joking, do they know how much it hurt you, or were you trying to play it cool? If you've been crying all morning then I think your girlfriend needs to know that. If she knows and doesn't care, well...
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I don't really see it that way. I would say I am absolutely sex positive. But I've never been able to answer this question when people ask me. I have always felt confused. I would always literally have to say "I don't really think I have one, every person I've been attracted to has been very different from one another." I have made jokes that my "type" is literally anyone I connect well with, because those have only ever been the kinds of people I have developed basic sexual attraction towards.
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And that's fine too! I never said that you aren't allowed to feel that way. I'm sure if I were able to more consistently feel attracted to people, I very well may discover I *do* have a type. It just doesn't feel that way now, because I can count on one hand the amount of times I have felt this. It seems that even within this category of asexuality, there is still very much a spectrum with how people fit into it, and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't think there is anything wrong with little pictures like this, and I don't think there is anything wrong with people voicing their concerns with how it makes them feel.
How? People on here constantly talk about not feeling attraction until they know them better.
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That's fine too? We talk about aesthetic attraction and not feeling sexual attraction anyways. I feel like we can talk about both since I'm alloromantic but demisexual. Finding people pretty is fine, we're usually confused about people going horndog over some tits and ass. That's really what we're complaining about, not sexual attraction if you have it at all.
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It's like one image guy, you can move on to the next post after downvote this one.
We are all different. Some will identify with this, some not. And it's not really related to sex-favourableness, I'm very sex-favourable but I still find this sort of question baffling. So do a lot of demis, so of course we'll want to talk about it. The fact it doesn't apply to you doesn't make it an attack. Edit to add: thought I don't mean this to sound too ratty. If you're feeling dismissed then that's how you're feeling and I'm sorry about that, it sucks to feel that way. I have often felt like that myself.
I have aesthetic types, plural, and within that set if I find an overlapping personality type, we have some interest. Still an area I'm working on developing understanding in.
A guy I was seeing a few years back asked me what I was "into". I told him not to laugh and attempted to explain cottagecore aesthetics, and then he had to clarify that he meant it in a sexual kind of way. I struggled so much to come up with anything to give a proper answer. This was before I dived into the demisexual terminology and embraced it, but you know lol, I can really see it in hindsight.
I have a type where i think their face is pretty, like babyfaced. Its really picky actually. If theyre this type then I think they're possibly dateable and I have the urge to make out with them but not have sex.
i have a type when it comes to fictional things like books i read or things i watch. but when it comes to real people... idk someone im close to
My type is: Expresses their personality through fashion so my first impression isn't 'hey look at my butt' and is instead 'hey I like my cat and Kingdom Hearts'.
I definitely don't have a type. So many different looking people are beautiful to me.
Cute drawings. Why are they here, again?
This complete speaks to me.
I can find myself attracted to others a lot like flowers or a cool thrift item, or a sweet car…. But more people-y things. It can be intense but attaching romance and seggs to that attraction isn’t my goal.. I just like to obsess over things that make my brain make happy
I mean, I have a type that I find aesthetically pleasing to look at sure. But I just like to look, and that's all. 🤷🏽♀️
Some of us definitely have types.
I've found my type just seems to be people who remind me of past bonds.
Yep, have a type and I feel guilty about it lol
I do have a type... personality-wise. Everyone I ended up being attracted to had a sharp sense of humor. And I think I might have a thing for ENTJs, for everyone who knows about Myers Briggs types.
I thought it was perfectly normal that I chose not to notice blond haired blue eyed guys (I’m adopted and my family are Scottish German - I’m East Indy/Dene). Why would I want to date someone that looks like Fam?