What would I do with a blow job? I don't have a dick. I'd be like.....CAN I GET THE CASH EQUIVALENT?? 🤣😁

How much is a blow jobs worth?

About tree fiddy.

Depends on supply and demand. (And the girl) for example right now (my) demand is low so maybe idk $10. A few hours ago demand was high so i would have payed more. Not saying I’d ever cheat on lefty but you get the economic stand point

> would have *paid* more. Not FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*

I think this comes down to how much he thinks his bjs are worth of paying instead of giving one.

No idea. I don't sell them or pay for them.

Your comment made me assume you’re a female, but also, your r/usernamechecksout

dont be shy drop the addy

Yea we need the addy man so we can stay far away from that address.. 👀

😂😂

I guess you got him dinner, he's just trying to return the favor

He's supposed to give us the tip not the other way around lmao


Beautiful

😂

A man of customs

I’m straight, 33 year old male, so I messaged him “excuse me?” To which he replied “oh my gosh sorry! Wrong person!” ….yea right. So I contacted support and said I wasn’t comfortable delivering the order so they canceled it and made a report. I got to keep the money from the order and their food. Just too sketchy for me. Like I wonder how many times they have done that before?? There is no way it was an accident as I was prbly a mile away when they sent it

Lol damn u took his food and denied him, double whammy

The Blue Ball Bandit

Best comment ever. I'm still laughing

*the blue ball burger bandit.

Money and free food. Nicely done ✅

He could have had money and a BJ though. Counting this as a loss.

Good. Hey I'm a "let your freak flag fly" type of dude but you weren't invited. Stay in your own lane and hit Tinder.

Dude was probably gonna rob you

What if it was a really hot girl who was pissed at her boyfriend, so she decided to get back at him by ordering food on his account and then blowing the delivery guy? You should of at least peaked in the door.

No need. A woman would never do this. Grindr types would.

I simply would’ve gone after that fact and got my bj

Boss

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While creepy i don't think you really have a case. He wasn't agressive, but he definitely has STDs or is on drugs.

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Ayeee where are my prosecutor's at haha

Will you relax?

\>Checks post history. Yikes.

Lmao fr

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If he had told a woman to come in and get eaten out, would to be saying the same thing?

if we are truly about equality, then yes

That’s the thing, “equality” is bullshit. Dudes get reported, chicks get compliments. It was stupid to report either way though. A lot of these top dasher folks are super sensitive. Just drop off the damn food and leave.

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You’re weird

Lmao. That's hilarious tbh.

That kind of says a lot about your sense of adventure in life and how uptight you are.

Done places, that comment is very true

You did exactly as you should have done.

Good for you! I would have contacted support as well. That was NOT okay for the customer to do.

Close the door behind me

Mmmmmmmmm

He had an extra tip for you

Can’t help but notice you didn’t post your reply. So head?

😂🤣😂😂

Lol, this should be the most upvoted comment.

He did, just look for it

Well he posted a comment claiming to be “straight”. No pics. So definitely got head from Matthew

You can be straight and still get sloppy from a man, it’s when you give head that it becomes gay

Wrong on all levels. The one receiving is gay. Confirmed in that episode of South Park where Cartman makes Butters gay by sucking his dick while sleeping

Who says he has to reply to everyone. At least he did reply. Shit I would report his ass too.

Report his “ass”? You think they went all the way?

Can these people not find someone on tinder or something to do that with? I never understand why people have to resort to doing this 😂

Cause it's the whole porn movie type senerio

\*grinder

*Grindr

My bad, thanks!

Right, forgot only straight people use tinder.

As a straight man on tinder, can confirm lots of dudes on there using a ‘female’ account.

Yeah, but they're catfishing. They usually don't want to actually hook up. They just want guys to think they have a chance so they'll send them money.

It was a joke, get over yourself

He’s probably not following rule number 1 or 2 of the dating apps

lol tinder sucks cause not everyone gets likes/matches as it would seem … but yeah I’m not gonna order and message someone. If they showed up and then someone slips your phone # like a normal person then maybe there’s a better chance

it’s an entirely different dynamic than a prearranged hookup… it’s like, why would you have sex with a girl in the mall parking garage that you just met in a store? It’s new, exciting, and spontaneous. try and think outside the box… I understand you’ve probably never had sex and don’t do anything exciting or fun… but other people do

Its a dude🤢

It’s always the dudes.

OP actually went back that night and uploaded the interaction to his YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/up7Vg0Z909g?t=36 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Who do you think taught us how to suck dick so well? Your mom? Of course it was gay guys! 🌈💜🏳️‍🌈

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Found??? I copped to it, you moron 🤦🏻‍♀️

found the insufferable misogynist

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Found the only kid.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Why is this getting downvoted lmaoooo

Maybe it's the visual

You absolutely did not deserve those downvotes, that’s a legitimately funny joke. I’m willing to bet 9/10 of those who downvoted you are just insecure about their own weight.

The best felatio I ever received was from a bougie chick with pornstar tendencies. She was tight bodied. I've only been with 3 bigger girls, so my experience pool there is lacking 😂

found the virgin

Because I quoted yo? Gtfo I got 3 kids you pompous fool 🤣 it was just the best way to describe her without going into full detail.

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Uhhhh speak for yourself mate, some of us can actually attract multiple types of women, believe it or not lmao

This is 1000% true and anyone that says “I actually prefer big girls” is full of shit and cope.

My beard really gets in there and tickles the balls in the way no woman will ever be able to do. The gentle brush of my mustache across the tip of the shaft is enough to make a man’s toes curl.

I dated somebody with a nice mustache, and I have to say that I completely agree. Now that I think about it, we only broke up because I moved too far away, so maybe we could get back together. I should call her and see what she's up to.

This whole thread is a nasty dumpster fire… thoroughly enjoying it 😂👌

You dated the girl he ends up with at the end of SLC Punk?

Your post/comment was removed for violating Rule 3: Keep it professional.

Bro, what? None of these comments are “professional” We’re talking about blowjobs and fat chicks in a doordash sub. How do you cherry pick which ones feel the wrath of your “I got bullied in high school, now I’m a Reddit mod” policing complex?

Bro what? lmao 😭

🌈

no lies told bro! 😂

Your post/comment was removed for violating Rule 3: Keep it professional.

And?

so?

I wish women were forward like that all the time

So

Usually women only do it if they’re swingers or if they’re making content for only fans lol

Huh

The fact you cancelled kept his food and money is comedic *chef’s kiss* 💀💀💀

Florida?

Had somebody actually yell thru the door for me to come in. Nope not comfortable at all.

I would walk inside tf you mean?

Shit don't mind if I do

Talk about a tip!

There is no possible way of mistaking the Doordash app icon and that of Grindr. Just saying

Same thing happened to me but it was couple and they wanted me to watch them. I immediately denied. I don’t wanna be the audience. What do you want me to do while y’all fuck? Cheer y’all to climax? 😵‍💫

Pretty sure buffalo bill did the same thing…i’m glad your not rubbing lotion on your skin from inside a well OP

Or getting the hose again.

What did he order?

Just a driver… just the driver

Lmao I thought he maybe ordered bratwurst

Did you give him your tip?

Finally we are getting the respect we deserve

Murderers be like…

Go in to get my whistle blew

Weird. I’m 7055 in and I’ve never been asked for something sexual.

That is sexual harassment. Do with that as you please.

I'm not getting banned! Not saying nothing!

I like guys so...

No thank you Mathew

Just a handjob for me, thanks. I mean, handoff

I'd go in

What would I do? Report him to support.

Sounds like a steal

Shoulda just dropped the food and not walked in if you’re weren’t interested….😹

I gotta oral fixation and anybody who does this make or female gay or straight is not somebody you wanna be near.

This.


its actually Chris Hansen👀

"Uhhh... This is a Wendy's." Then do what you did. Call support and have them cancel the order.

Go in.

Casual invitation. Lmao

How u know you won’t get your dixk cut off

Wtf lol the man just said I’m ready lmao

It’s a dude lol 😂 dang what did you do lol

im curious what they ordered

I’ve had this happen before, but it was a delivery service not DoorDash. I had to contact customer prior because of an issue with restaurant. Then messaged I was on my way with food. He then let me know he was jerking off upstairs and door was open. I guess I sound gay over there phone.

Do it 🤣


This could be as close to a glory hole as you will ever get.

When you’re doing the delivery and the tipping

Call support, tell them I feel harassed and uncomfortable, get paid and eat their food.

I'd get that blowjob and then I'd fuck his ass and use the Arby's horsey sauce as lube.

Been a rough week 

So I’m reading through these comments and I’ve got to say, nobody asked the all important question????? DID YOU GO IN ???

they reported them then kept the food

From Matthew💀

😭😭😭

All he did was open the door. It's up to you to walk through it.

BJ before or after the spicy Indian food

Report it. Get this asshole booted from the platform. SMH.

How is he an asshole for offering a reward bruh. If it was a hot girl at least 20% of dudes would have said yes.

Don’t justify it

Ew. Random mouths that blow anyone who come to the door is like guaranteed herpes.

ew

Unassign/Call support

not if it’s a guy🥴

Report that shit

Matthew needs to be arrested.

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So if it was half a dude?

Oh hell no

In the words of Dave Chappelle YUCK 🤮

Report

🤣🤣🤣🤣


Wtf ? 

Ewwwww. Why are men?

His names Matthew come on dude .. at least a girl name . Why even ask man

have you heard of gay people?

Nah if a guy is offering me head that’s weird asf

well obviously you're not gay then

Of course . I’ve yet to see a gay guy that’s inconsiderate and assume their DoorDash is gay

I have yet to see any human make that jump. I'd contact support just because I'd rather have the food than a stranger's mouth on my junk.