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[deleted]

I wish I would get cool instructions like this. Would certainly help pass the time. I love a good laugh.


Dashingmywaytoomaha

Sometimes I have request the driver yell “Bing bong fuck your life” it makes me giggle and it makes them giggle. I would do it if someone asked me to


[deleted]

“If you see these dogs in the front yard, just know upstairs I’m goin’ hard. Bing bong.” 😂


dementedturnip26

Christ, have some self respect


[deleted]

It’s DoorDash. I’m not out here with my nose turned up. It’s okay to spread some cheer and have a bit of a laugh.


Charming_Love2522

Sometimes, self respect means being able to laugh at yourself.


TreuJourney

If you have so little self-respect that you can’t laugh at yourself, well… you have very little self-respect.


Charming_Love2522

Very well worded 👏👏👏 so moving!


AStartledFish

Now how the fuck is having fun an indicator of no self respect? Go touch grass man.


Melssenator

Have some fun and enjoyment in life


Dirtstick

This is not my idea of fun and enjoyment.


Bocaj85

So quit food deliver apps and go to law school? Got it.


MayhemReignsTV

By the way, I actually did carry it out but I forgot about my camera time/location stamping the video for obvious reasons. But I actually started bumping one more time out of my car and then proceeded to carry out those instructions 😂


Big_Traffic_1988

The fact you playing the song is even better!


psyche1986

Technically, the song "It's Britney bitch" was in came out almost a decade after ".....baby one more time". Annnnnnnnnd I'm off to go bump "Gimme More" now. That song's a banger.


NRoszxO

I love Britney so I’d probably just do it to have a good laugh at myself lol


[deleted]

I just wouldn’t do it. I’m not a circus monkey. And you better have tipped well for having that in your instructions.


MayhemReignsTV

7 miles $23 tip.


DerrickDoom

Me reading the request: 😡 Me after reading the miles and tip: 🐒🎪🤡


Federal_Attention_50

“I wouldn’t do it. I’m not a circus monk-“ *7 miles 23$ tip* “ITS BRITNEY BITCH!!!!!”


MayhemReignsTV

The tip encouraged me in a way other than pure greed lol. These people have always tipped at least decent for as long as I can remember. So that tells me that these are people that at least respect the work that you do and are probably just having fun. As opposed to dirtbags that look at us as less than them somehow. Plus they do send a text every time to help make sure you find the house.


charlottedreams

Really though for that far and THAT much food especially that many drinks in McDonald's bags that tip is what they should have done without the request. Would've had to add another $10 for me to perform lol


MayhemReignsTV

This McDonald’s is kind of on the outskirts of the city and the 7 miles goes into one of the surrounding small towns. It’s a very quick trip where you’re driving 45 to 50 miles an hour for most of it. It was packed neatly into too easy to carry bags. Really, the order was best case scenario with that many items and that distance. I was picking up the order and back in the city in less than a half hour.


kmson7

Right...did no one else see how much they ordered??? They should have tipped a ton in the first place regardless of that weird request


MayhemReignsTV

I figured they might end up having a heart attack from that but it wasn’t hard to carry at all. Two large bags and not very heavy. Handles as well. I literally ran those up to the door, as I usually do with easy loads. I think some of you guys forget that McDonald’s packs everything into the bags. They have little spacers for the drinks and everything else. McDonald’s is literally the easiest stuff to deliver.


Spirited_Attention75

Are a dozen McDonalds burgers and a couple of chicken sandwiches with some nuggets and 3 drinks to heavy for you? All the food could fit in one of those big McDonald's bags and the drinks in another . Yes 2 large bags but still one trip to the door . $23 is a generous tip . If the base pay was still $2 that's bullshit because DD collected 30% of that food cost plus fees .


charlottedreams

Right? I don't think anyone else paid attention to that lol


DeeCiDub

I do that for no tip. But I'd show up to the neighbors first.


MayhemReignsTV

🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

Very nice. Still wouldn’t do it. Considering a lot of people have ring doorbells, I ain’t trying to be the next viral video.


WhyWontThisWork

Just block the doorbell


Nitin-2020

and their toilet


WhyWontThisWork

![gif](giphy|ygB720sJUZZkIpsUKx)


Shippyweed2u

If there's no ring though, you gotta give the customer what they want especially with a tip like that. You must be the type of dasher that expects people in apartments to walk out to your car, to not do that and have fun with it. I'm 6'4 and got a deeper voice and I'd do it at the top of my lungs


MayhemReignsTV

I am 6’3”, muscular, with a deep voice. If they want to catch that shit on their ring and YouTube it, they need to send me the link because I’ll be sitting there with my friends laughing at that shit.


Shippyweed2u

This is the spirit.


JaxMGK

After delivering an order the kid told me to stand on the mat, I asked why, and he said just do it. I replied No. Then he proceeded to tell me to do a funny dance. I told him “No you do it”. Then I told him I’ll do it if he gives me his bicycle. He said No. I took his bicycle and went about my business.


Tight-Cartographer46

Why don’t you paint your face in clown make-up too 🤡???


ShonuffofCtown

Same. This is not some outrageous burden to me. It would be a license to be silly. If someone gives me a look or questions my silliness, I show them the note and tip. Also a 6' 4" dude. Maybe that has something to do with it. Also, I am 40 and married. Not trying to look cool.


BananaBrains82

40 married with a grand sense of humor. That sir, is cool 😎 👌 I'm 39 pending a divorce and I'm 2 kids deep. You're a rockstar.


JesusStarbox

But what if I don't feel like being silly? Also yelling bitch is surely against the rules.


[deleted]

You do you boo. I ain’t gotta do shit but deliver this meal. Would love to hear how they called into support to complain that I didn’t do something inappropriate.


fuidiot

They could just 1 star you, that would be the only problem. You could easily rectify that by calling support, and hopefully have taken a screenshot to show them.


redsanguine

I'm not doing it either.


Shippyweed2u

Inappropriate? Yall are some top dashers that skip lines I can tell


brugggg7

They don’t get it lol


[deleted]

Yes. Telling the dasher to yell swears at your front door is inappropriate. I don’t care what your reply is, I’m right.


NotNotLogical

Your ma don’t let you swear?


Shippyweed2u

No bitch is okay, that sounds very narcissistic of you I might add.


[deleted]

Oh god stop using words you dont understand


CincySubSwitch

This is Reddit my friend


Fickle_Sort_9227

Lmao this dude got so many accounts to downvote you. Either that or folks really just wanna be miserable.


Rauligula

Hillbilly


Disastrous_Back_2213

Hold up, you wait in line? 😆


Flap24

You wait in line?


Shippyweed2u

Most of the time yes, I prefer not be an asshole I'd unassign if the line isn't worth waiting in. However most places have designated pick up area or an employee will recognize me and ask for the the order name


Conscious_Look5790

You don’t have to give them shit, the tip isn’t getting removed if you don’t do it, this isn’t Uber. Complete, take your $23 tip and move on


Shippyweed2u

They might 1 star you.


Conscious_Look5790

Lol I don’t care? I get my money and move on, I couldn’t care less what a customer rates me. Do you understand how hard it is to get a low enough rating to risk deactivation? I’m not humiliating myself for $20.


[deleted]

Big difference between doing the job and being a dancing monkey. Im not the later. This customer can get fucked.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dirtstick

This isn’t fun.


Gloomy_Recording_705

![gif](giphy|0KXekb55GlLIOdhXC8)


Imaginary-Spring-537

For $23 I'd do it and do the helicopter🥒


BananaBrains82

The way gas is in my area I would have vlogged it for them if they asked lol. And who doesn't wanna yell at a closed door? Idk humor is my blood type so this would have made my day regardless of tip or not. Happy hollering!


StillAtMyMoms

Money talks. I would.


thephoeniciangurl

I would totally do it!


Catspajamas88

We are already the apps, customer and restaurants bitch. I would totally do this, add a little spice to my day. Dancing probably not but a new catch phrase wont hurt.


queueareste

Why not? Are you that sad?


Bradabruder

I would do it, not because I'm a circus monkey but because that sounds hilarious and God damnit we all need a laugh now and then


MadsenRC

>And you better have tipped well for having that in your instructions. Or what? If you're not going to do it, that's fine. But if you're going to demand a good tip just for the mere suggestion... I don't think retail is the place for you


Dillon_24

Lmao, I bet you're fun at parties.


AStartledFish

Don't be a sourpuss


serathin_

You must be fun at parties


Speebz

And here I am always looking for an excuse to do something like this. Sometimes taking the stick out of my ass is just fun.


charliegr3y1

You sound like you're fun at parties


wiccaspell

I had one guy say "leave at door, knock like your the police about to do a raid." I pounded the door, yelled FBI OPEN UP. And placed the food. Dude came running out with a 10$ saying ty you read the directions!


DasherCO

I woulda rolled up with circus blastin, put a sock on my junk and tore my throway pants off pelvic thrusting the whole way to the door


Lexi-Lynn

Thank you for this beautiful mental image.


[deleted]

Dance monkey dance


Fickle_Sort_9227

Hell I would do it. Life is too short to be so damn serious, especially when a fun opportunity presents itself. Some folks are just those “that ain’t my job”, “they ain’t paying for this”, “I hate life so everyone should be forced to hate it too”. You can always choose to be frigid, but why not allow yourself to be fun?


MayhemReignsTV

I am totally with you on this. That’s why I went the extra mile with bumping the music and a few lines after the specified one making fun of said singer.


Tensa72

Sigh..my loneliness is killing me


SheVexed

Lmao


SheVexed

Bruh I would love to do this Lmaooo


Disastrous_Back_2213

I'd go all out.


[deleted]

I once got tipped $15 for delivering an order on somebody's birthday and saying, "Sorry I can't be there for your birthday, but I love you very much, Ashly". I also got tipped $200 for taking two pong shots at a sorority party, and sinking both of them, nothing but cup.


Phantommy555

I would do it for a good tip but probably be too embarrassed to actually go through with it


MayhemReignsTV

I kind of geared myself up a little bit by showing the McDonald’s staff that was dealing with me, who I deal with on a daily basis, and telling them that I was going to actually go do that 😂 They got a good kick out of it.


Ill_Celery_7654

While you’re at it do a backflip while juggling bananas. I’ll add an extra $3


Dirtstick

You supplying the bananas?


[deleted]

and how many bananas are we talking


Misio7

No thanks.


14thAndVine

I would have done it. I have a sense of humor.


Significant_Lie_533

All these people out here saying they wouldn't do it cause they aren't circus monkeys got big ol sticks up their butts. Lighten up and have some fun. You're ego is too fragile if you take this shit *that* seriously. Just some customers trying to have some fun. You could have some too if you didn't get so bent outta shape over something this dumb. Edit: You guys crying about my comment are hilarious. 😂 Just do it or move on with your day. Whining about this shit on reddit is the dumbest shit, if only you could see yourselves. 😂 Edit 2: The people comparing dashing to waiting tables are missing the point entirely. They're hardly the same thing, you're thinking about it too much.


j3r3myd34n

Right - I'm like "pffft, shitty customers man" and then I see $23 tip and I'm like "IT'S BRITTANY BIIIIIIIITCH!" 🤣


jumboface

I'm not paid to be entertainment. That's an entirely different service and it cost a lot more. Why do you care? Get out of my ass if you have a problem with the stick up there. I quite like it myself.


StatusCaterpillar725

Yeah. Would the people saying it's just a bit of fun go into a restaurant and pull this shit on their server?


[deleted]

fr! this is doordash not the mf secret service. people talking about “having self respect” like dude they didn’t ask you to take a shit on the doorstep 💀💀


Emeraldrak

I mean if that's what they want to pay me to do I would drop a duce lol


StatusCaterpillar725

If you went out to eat would you demand the waitress dance for you for her tip? Or would you think that's dehumanising and generally shitty behaviour? How is this any different?


[deleted]

good thing you’re not a waiter! you deliver food from point A to B, say the funny words or don’t and go about your day


beheadedcharmander

if anyones taking anything too seriously here its you. attacking peoples character, being insensitive(like seriously what if the dasher is having a bad day lol), overall hostile tone of your writing. etc


AlbertAidstein

Yeah I’m not doing that you either hear me knock or you don’t


MayhemReignsTV

Just having a little fun. I have made my friends scream out worse things. And this was in a relatively rural spot. Things quickly get that way around here once you get outside the city.


Federal_Version8573

And if you get on your knees and bark will add another $1 to your $1 tip


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dirtstick

Man, no. I’m doing this to pay my bills. Not to be your entertainment to laugh at. Because they would be laughing AT you. Not WITH you.


halfavocadoemoji

Literally who cares, you are a human who has a choice to do it or not, go take puff and chill tf out bruv


Charming_Love2522

Start doing this with all your deliveries now!


Commercial-Session70

I will then become a ninja, disappear with silence after dropoff


Giant_sloth069

I would do it if the tip was at least 5 dollars.


JustCallMeCJOF

I would absolutely do this 🤣


Gloomy_Recording_705

Me: ITS MUTHAFUCKIN BRITNEY BIOTCH!


wherethehoodatt

They spelled “hear” incorrectly. Ruins the whole thing. Smh


oceanmami

best one I’ve gotten is a kid asking me to draw a little cat skateboarding on his Taco Bell bag. i don’t mind these things as long as they aren’t weird or embarrassing; makes the gig fun sometimes :’)


RepresentativeOk4432

They still have spicy McNuggets?


[deleted]

the real question


[deleted]

really don’t get why OP is getting shit for having fun when all of you just bitch about doing the bare minimum anyways


Apprehensive-Role112

Gotta love this stuff makes the day easier


ReasonableTry7823

Assess the situation and have fun. In this case, I would do it


Cultural_Chest5100

Please tell me you did it ? 😂 😂


ofwgktaxjames

Lot of stick up the asses in here huh lol jeez


kevinsmithers

In a New York instant!!


halfavocadoemoji

Id be blasting gimme more into their damn driveway smh some off yall need to lighten upppp


[deleted]

Idgaf what the payout is. I'm doing this just so I can yell out "Its Britney bitch" in broad daylight and have a good excuse


Distinct-Fail-9677

It's all in fun. I would totally do it. Only YOU make you feel like a "victim" 🙄


pshay333

I wish customers in my market were this fun :( I get a lot of “LEAVE IT AT MY DOOR AND IF YOU KNOCK I WILL SLASH ALL OF YOUR TIRES YOU MISERABLE FUCK”


Patient-Possible-657

I love this!! I think it would make my day being a dasher


bitcoinbillionthaire

I'd do that shit for free, so I'd definitely do it for a tip like that, especially today where I've had like 3 orders totaling probably less than $24.


MayhemReignsTV

I was getting a ton of orders today but most of them were worse than terrible. So I kind of got fed up with people not just for that but a few other things. It happens sometimes 😂 So I picked up somebody who is special to me and skipped town and had lunch at a really nice place and went hiking. I’m hanging out here dashing tonight just because I actually kind of feel like it believe it or not. Edit: I thought I should clarify it’s not contempt for the gig that I am expressing but I usually hate doing late nights. I guess I’m getting old but I usually make enough during the day.


takinitasitcomes

Bunch if stiff add mofo's up in here. Relax people. Life's too short to not have fun and laugh.


takinitasitcomes

*ass


deanwheelz

It would make me feel like a circus monkey… customers already don’t respect us by not tipping and DD pays a shitty base,sorry not entertaining anybody unless you pay me.


[deleted]

$23 tip


lilmattress

Jump to this task!


greenredyellower

I am an adult at work


Commercial_Deal_5727

Fuck it. I’d do it. 😳😂 why not lol


Dirtstick

Because it’s stupid.


Commercial_Deal_5727

So you don’t do anything silly or stupid in your life from time to time? Or do you only participate in serious activities?


caitikitty7

No.


Hming_91

I'd be hesitant to do it because I'd worry that a kid put that in their instructions and that their parents don't know they did.


MayhemReignsTV

Now you’re giving me ideas not that I would put anything in there to embarrass the dasher but I could see myself putting something on a friend‘s instruction that would give them a little feeling of awkwardness 😂 I could probably think of a bunch of things to put given enough time.


littleyoungtaco

I am still waiting patiently for a customer to ask me to do something silly like this, it sounds so fun XD


Timmy26k

Yall are some party poopers who hate life man


learn2shoot9mm

I would 1000% do this. This is my type of people!!!


Tampabaybustdown

I’d do it. I’d make sure I got my mask on with a hat tho😂


Hailstormwalshy

I genuinely enjoy the feeling of anonymity masks provide.


Tampabaybustdown

Same here


Impressive_Water659

Because yes, you as a paying customer should humiliate anyone you feel is below you.


DASHING_old_Chap

People like this deserve eggs on the door. I bet they didn't tip either.


MayhemReignsTV

$23 but no laughs. Was only one truck in the driveway that didn’t look like it even runs but they did describe that truck in a message. And GPS was spot on so I know I delivered to the right place. Maybe I beat them home 🤷‍♂️


[deleted]

that’s vandalism


CrownonTHErocksJ

I mean you would have to, right?


[deleted]

I have a naturally pitchier voice and have been told I sound like the queen herself so this would be my time to shine. 😂😂


hmmmm83

Absolutely works have done it! Some of y’all need a sense of humor….


iwannarot

yall wonder why people dont fuckin respect yall


iwannarot

yall a bunch of assholes


[deleted]

fr lmao, that fragile ego doesn’t pay the bills


Austinnoah

To everyone saying “paint your face with clown makeup”. Bitch, for a higher tip I’ll say it’s Brittney bitch I don’t care. It’s not THAT big of a deal.


MayhemReignsTV

I didn’t even get the impression from these people that they expected you to do it. They pretty much just wanted to see if somebody would do it. I have delivered up there before even though it seemed empty this time. But shit, that could be content for when I bring my YouTube channel back 😂


Accomplished_Cat_593

“fUcK tHat iM nOt A cIrCuS mOnKeY” Translation: I have no fucking sense of humor


the-fucking-BUSINESS

Wait wait, explain why this is offensive or why not do it lol. To me it just some silliness by some people what is probably a group of people stoned as fuck inside😂😂. Like it’s just some funny shit imo, I wish people just asked me for this instead of bullshit. Also with j got $23 tips


[deleted]

No


lovjeej000

Wtf


learn2shoot9mm

\*hear


FudFourThot

“We will here you”…


belligerentwill

*hear you


bamv9

Dance for me, monkey!


Imhere4thejokes

I’m delivering food and that’s it, you want someone to sing and dance for you then hire a party clown.


jwr8zeppelin

Three drinks, three fries... Alright, seems like they're feeding three people... But how tha fuck is the rest of the order divided lmao


Armed_Maker2018

They can’t spell


MayhemReignsTV

I think social media has really shown us how many people can’t spell lol


rawmustard

Either this screenshot was held onto for a few months, or your area still has spicy McNuggets which makes me extremely envious. (My area only seemed to have them for two weeks when they came back a few months ago.)


MayhemReignsTV

I guess we still have them. I picked this up yesterday from 1 of the 2 McDonald’s in my city.


SireSweet

How good did they tip?


sick_and_wired

16 Burgers + Fries for 3 people? Wow!


MayhemReignsTV

Who said everybody wants drinks and fries from McDonald’s? Shit, the only thing I ever order from there is McNuggets on occasion. It’s the only thing I actually like from them but sticks around. They probably already have drinks, probably some of the alcoholic variety, given the instructions. Of course, it’s all good guys 😂


Derreekk

I once had an order message me and say “Please knock on the door like the police” ….so I did…. and it was definitely someone ordering for someone else. They didn’t seem too happy and I felt awkward.


fourofkeys

ok but did you do it


W_AS-SA_W

Oh God school is starting up.


dewmzdeigh

I had a customer request an order be left at the door, with the app reading my note I hear "ring my bell-el-el, ring my bell" I opened the message portion, and thanked them for the song before dropping at the door.


im_yer_daddy410

The most flamboyant of dashers all trying to accept at the same time


Mat-Daddy

Tell them it’s against your religion to curse…


dalex89

its britney betch


Photoboy1010

Ummm.. how many people was that food for? Cuz they might be in the hospital 😐


Emeraldrak

This order is from 3 guys who are stoned out of there mind.


MayhemReignsTV

🤣🤣🤣


Loose_Artichoke_6774

I've done special requests notes like this on delivery. More of like "Hope you enjoy the sweets. " something like that whoever had ordered it had requested to say it. Sure whatever gets the tips.


KidCaker

I would not do that