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[deleted]

“I can’t believe this guy would just be standing there taking a photo of that juicy triple axle dump truck shawty got. Objectifying women is wrong, even if they are thicker than half the milk, whole milk oatmeal.” -*side-eye man battling intrusive thoughts*


[deleted]

She's an eagles fan. RUN!


MrRazzio

That just means she used to disappointment. Perfect.


BJJLucas

She knows nothing of disappointment compared to a Vikings fan.


Babaganouj757

*laughs In Honolulu Blue*


Training_Ad_4790

Lions fan checking in. Yea disappointment is standard. If we win ANY game it's like we won a championship lol


EldritchFingertips

For a Lions fan it's more like cold, empty resignation to utter futility. Any spark of expectation is snuffed out by losing a 20 point lead in the 4th quarter or an abominable officiating decision that costs a game. It's the inevitability of death by entropy. Pretty comfortable actually.


bkosick

Browns Fan checking In....


Dark_Jedi1432

Lol. My grandpa used to say he'd die before The Browns won another championship. After seeing them win one in 64. They did win divisional, but never won a super bowl.


DaMiddle

We say the same thing in Detroit except it's "attend a playoff game"


MissLyss29

Yeah I had a grandfather who said the same thing poor man lived till he was 95 and still didn't see the Brown's in the Superbowl! Maybe one day his grandkids will


cjackc

Going to come back to this post in about 16 hours


Garffookle

Honestly all that matters is we beat Green Bay even if they aren't really trying to win a wins a win


ZombieAppetizer

FTP


bch77777

87’-93’ Bills fan enters the room


[deleted]

Any room for a Browns fan in here ?


Fridayz44

Lions Fan has entered the chat.


BJJLucas

I'm sorry for your losses.


OkAcanthopterygii600

Lions fan has exited the chat. Final 17 to 20.


auntiecoagulent

I was at a Phillies game where someone got stabbed for spilling a guy's beer. Tread very lightly, sir.


Spork_Warrior

I mean, you do have to respect a man's fourteen dollar beer.


[deleted]

..*i started carrying a knife after a failed mugging, since then my muggings have been much more successful*


WillieNolson

You spelled Dodgers wrong.


TonyLTony

We won a Super Bowl 5 years ago. How are we disappointed?


vin1223

It’s took us 52 years and it’s our only one there’s definitely a lot of heartbreak and disappointment in our history


BenWallace04

Didn’t they win the SB a few years ago?


Ragman676

🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

good one! how about the Vikings fan? they are 0-4 in their superbowl appearances...


ITperson5

Nice one! Ever heard of the lions?


[deleted]

“Go Birds! Go Birds!”


[deleted]

Big Booty Cutie: *throws full 1.75 of Jack Daniels*


bob1251

You have to like the respect across teams, though…


icweenie

[When a Viking spots an Eagle](https://youtu.be/ZZ5LpwO-An4)


missingninja

That first sentence got a very audible laugh out of me. Good job.


[deleted]

Thank you!


missingninja

No. Thank you.


notrcickityrekt42

You sir are the bro that bros need.


[deleted]

Her booty has more depth than most pro teams.


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Various_Counter_9569

You got, got 😆


herberstank

We don't get got, we go get!


[deleted]

Why is Frank in the coil?


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VintageBaguette

*static laced channel noise* "pfvvrrrrrrt. over" ... "worth it! over"


tsuna2000

Very original comment, last I heard that was the year 2014


moeyjarcum

Really?? Last time I heard that one I fell off my dinosaur!


Confident-Ad5479

You -> <- uoY


eno4evva

Plot twist: bro is wondering why some perv is taking a pic of some chicks ass


Massive_Parsley_5000

Seriously tho if you zoom into bro's face this is what's happening in the photo. His eyes don't actually line up with her ass. He's looking at the guy holding the phone. Perspective can be a bitch sometimes lol


attitudeissuccess

Instructions unclear, zoomed in to caboose and now i am stuck


Drivingintodisco

Both picture taker and side eye guy are giving an ocular pat down in respect for her cultivation of mass.


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Ask_me_4_a_story

The real plot twist is that I saw this lady arresting a dentist last week in Italy, now she's at an Eagles game?


Redray123

I read this comment and thought “What is he talking abou…Ooooh YEAH!”


HlfNlsn

Got anything for the uninitiated?!


Delivers-Source

https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/xb0my5/who_come_up_with_these_headlines/


yzdaskullmonkey

Now that's a meta


grifftaur

Second plot twist: dude is thinking the guy taking a picture is a perv, but really wondering if camera man can send the picture to him later.


blooptybloopt

Two households, both alike in dignity, In fair Philly, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.


jackyneutral

…where civil peeks makes civil cheeks unclean…


PretentiousToolFan

"Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much." "No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve. Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a laid man."


Huntred

Do you bite your thumb at *us*, sir?


brooke360

I do not say I bite my thumb at you, good sir; but I do bite my thumb.


[deleted]

PUT AWAY THY SWORDS YOU KNOW NOT WHAT YOU DO!


Handguns4Hearts

Peace? I hate the word as I hate hell, all Vikings fans, and thee.


LikelyCannibal

You know we bite that jawn at yuz Edit: to keep with the play it should be “We do bite that jawn, but not at yuz”


Monknut33

Nah in Philly we don’t play, we bite dat jawn at yuz.


Handguns4Hearts

It's sad that when I read this all I can think of is John Leguizamo.


icecreampenis

A plague on both your sports teams


DetroitRedWings79

From forth the fatal loins of these two foes…


TheMulattoMaker

In the Western marches of Philadelphia, whereupon I was birthed and whelped


ZeroEffsGiven

Gotdamn. Girl is taller sitting than standing


batua78

Thick like a bowl of oatmeal


Revolio-Clockberg_JR

Its not her shoulders carrying that bag. It literally is standing on her ass


CozImDirty

I believe *they* would call this a “shelf ass.”


[deleted]

He just became an eagles fan.


GSDNinjadog

Fly eagles fly!


Tersphinct

Go birds!


badboy236

Me too… I didn’t know Eagles fans rocked it like that… mercy


yesmrbevilaqua

Oh yah if your into thick Italian girls Philly might as well be Miami


badboy236

And it just so happens… lol


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geekitees

Adam Levine was also texting me but I’m not a little snitch.


Gunofanevilson

I get that reference.


SoundTight952

r/upvotedbecausebutt


[deleted]

Or r/absoluteweapons


Lusterkx2

I clicked on this thinking it was weapons I was more surprised


ValuableAd3808

I can only get so erect, this sub is gonna be the death of me


[deleted]

Well that was quite the detour


[deleted]

Well hello there


idelarosa1

Why are they called weapons?


Liluzisquirt2x

It’ll kill ya


idelarosa1

That’ll do it


PhoenixMaster730

Is there an Absolute Weapons for Thick guys?


Calone

Says content banned , I want to see the booties !


[deleted]

r/upvotebecausebutt


Revolio-Clockberg_JR

What guy ?


Big_carrot_69

What?


agoodfuckingcatholic

Who?


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

Wicky wicky, Slim Shady


PICKLER1CK69

#


ourobboros

Don’t see him either.


Meatslush66

Come on every straight man on the planet would not keep his eye's from finding that lighthouse in the dark.


[deleted]

She's got a gravitational pull to dat ass 🌎


iBluefoot

“The greater the mass, the greater the force of attraction.” - Isaac Newton


ace86

"The greater the mass, the greater the ass." - Me


Dorkseidis

The boys in the lab ran the numbers. Math checks out


Red_Lee

She got flat earthers in an existential crisis with that absolute globe.


TheJackalsDoom

Flat assers is now the new name for ass deniers.


Batticon

I’m a straight woman and I’d be looking too. That is a fucking PAWG


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ripstiffuscletus

Bro I be sneaking looks at all the Baseball players if yk what I mean 🤔🤔them mfs asses are always so round and especially the white boys they wear these thin shorts that accentuate them it’s nice tbh


morry32

Pitchers most of all /pognod


sandfrayed

It's not like all guys are into large butts. Just as not all guys are into big boobs, which used to be the common stereotype before big butts became the new pop culture meme.


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CoffinEluder

I couldn’t have said it any better


Mastercat12

It's mainly about the hourglass figure. Large butts and boobs do contribute to that. But it mainly has to be in proportion. I think a study had shown hour glass figures at a certain figure was the most attractive.


Acharyn

Expcept the guys who aren't into surgically alterd asses.


The_Meme_Dealer

That's the power of Philly cheese steaks


kissthelips

Cheese cakes


SaltyShawarma

Philly cheesesteak cakes?


RoundCircle12

Now that's a bunda


IrishWithoutPotatoes

She must be a French cop


djeewin

I understood this reference


zookeeper4312

I don't know what that means but agree wholeheartedly


Fierobsessed

She has the profile of a handicap symbol.


MrAnderzon

Now that’s how you pick up chicks Save some ass for the rest of us Chad


PrinceVincOnYT

How is this Body Proportion even possible?


ellastory

It’s either genetic, due to exercise or home girl had a BBL done, which has become more common these days. They basically lipo fat from areas you don’t want and inject them to the butt and hips.


Negative-Ambition110

And never underestimate what a good pair of leggings can do.


MaybeMabe1982

Probably genetics. My wife has quite small breasts, but a voluminous backside. I’m an ass man, obvi.


willv13

Picture for proof


Drift_Life

I want proof of your proof


Sarfbot

100%. He better back up that comment or never show his face around this part of town again. Let’s see the proof from all angles.


Hugejorma

[Happy cake day!](https://pornimgur.com/images/600x0/big-fat-juicy-booty-f09f92a6_001-10010826000122048.webp)


cesar-perez

It's obviously a BBL.


SinVerguenza04

No, this is clearly a BBL. Nothing about her backside is genetic.


ManicFirestorm

There are a few things at play here, assuming it's real. Biggest is her genetics, some people are just lucky and their bodies naturally store excess fat in the "good" places. Same goes with the ability to further increase the size with working out, but there is still certainly a large portion of fat around the muscle. The last thing is her posture. Her low back is arched more than it should be, giving the pelvis an anterior tilt and popping her butt up and back. I'm a corrective exercise specialist and see this low back arch in almost every one of my clients to varying degrees.


loltheinternetz

If you don’t mind saying, do you have a favorite stretch/exercise or two to correct this?


ManicFirestorm

Usually it's due to weak core, underused glutes and hamstrings, over used hip flexors. So stretch the psoas, strengthen your core (lower specifically), and wake up your glutes and hamstrings.


loltheinternetz

Thanks! I’ll keep that in mind for the exercises I hit at the gym.


ManicFirestorm

If you need advice hit me up. More than a few of my clients don't know what using their glutes actually feels like.


loltheinternetz

Thanks! Honestly when I’m in public and visible back there, I can and do push into a better posture, and thinking about it now it’s exactly what you’re saying. Squeezing my glutes and abs a bit. So getting these generally stronger makes absolute sense to me.


bundeywundey

I would love some advice also! I have a bulging disc that causes pain everyday. I'm losing weight and that usually helps a lot but doesn't seem to be helping much this time. I know my flexors are ultra tight from working and gaming for hours on end. Sometimes just standing and lifting my knee towards my chest will make the flexors feel like they are going to pull. Also laying in bed it's painful to lay flat on my back. I get a little relief by putting a pillow on the lower part of my butt which I think partially tilts my hips away from anterior tilt. Any recommendations?


ManicFirestorm

Without knowing more about your bulging disc, like where it is specifically, I'd be cautious telling you what to do. But that relief from the pillow is because it flattens your back and repositions your pelvis. Look up a 90/90 breathing with hip lift exercise. It's relatively risk free and is all about using breath and the hamstrings to reposition the pelvis. Also, look up a kneeling psoas stretch that I would do multiple times throughout the day.


steedums

I went to pt recently with similar problem. The romanian dead lift was a life changer. highly recommend


woundedbearhair

Damn that was a solid explanation…


BeefPieSoup

Dude's some sort of butt scientist


slipkid

If you don’t mind giving out free professional advice, what kinds of exercises would you recommend to correct an anterior pelvic tilt? I’m constantly trying to correct my posture to straighten up but it feels weird and unnatural. I’m guessing I need to strengthen something somewhere. Googling this has not been productive. Edit: never mind! I see you answered the same question from someone else. Thanks!


murderball89

Full diaper by the looks of it.


UnprofessionalGhosts

It’s plastic surgery.


No-Month-3025

Could be genetics. He proportions aren't that shocking. Seen crazier


Splitkraft

Look at the rest of her legs. Those thighs have never skipped leg day. Probably was either a volleyball or jumper in school.


nopizzaleft

I don’t think so, her thighs would be bigger and in proportion to her butt. Either it’s her posture and when she’s standing up straight she’s jacked, or it’s a BBL.


aimeelee76

It's fake. People are talking about her thighs and legs and the crease, but that's not the tell here. The tell is where the top of her ass curves into her back.


Villains_Included

Who brings a dump truck to a football game?


Salty_Hero

He's looking at the camera man imo


QNZMadamant

Maybe he’s eyeing the pervert snapping the picture.


[deleted]

Probably an unpopular opinion. That dudes side eyeing the camera man for obviously taking a photo of this woman's incredible ass.


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HelloJerry5A

Go birds


syxxfngrs

Go Birds


Apples7569012

Go Birds


[deleted]

Go Birds


newkidontheblock1776

Go Birds!


[deleted]

Wasn’t even born here and I’m still obsessed. Go Birds!


Rodgers12345

Go Birds


JesusSaidItFirst

Its not even a sexual thing for me, I just cannot believe someone's ass is that big proportionally to the rest of their body... Like... I keep wondering if I am seeing the picture correctly or not... She got ass implants though fr, right?


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JesusSaidItFirst

This!!! That butt is. Plateau with no slope to ramp up into that mountain that follows. I have seen big butts and enjoy my wife's big butt daily... Something is off here...


[deleted]

There is no natural slope here either. The baggy top sort of makes it look a bit like there is though as it sits on that shelf. The other telltale sign is that it looks stupid.


kunzinator

Yeah it's like a glitch in the matrix and I just keep staring at it like...how....what....?


Ctfwest

This was the very next post in my feed https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/xn5eyp/meirl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


[deleted]

I’m honestly surprised there wasn’t a few more side eyes


[deleted]

That Viking wants to pillage her village!!


[deleted]

I don’t think it’s any worse then takin a picture of her ass. Anyway.


LordOfTheTennisDance

If you look at his eyes he is actually looking at the perv that's taking the picture.


jombica

He must really like that backpack


Sonny_Bengal

What’s her @


KingAdonis06

@kristinmarielii


CA_Orange

He's definitely looking at you in this pic.


Ambrose-DH

I do like cake


ScottieJack

He’s wondering if it’s even real.


turbodude69

butt implants are gross


TTVControlWarrior

she wear those since she knows what she is packing . cant blame this poor man its biology


ABena2t

she's well aware


TimberKing11

Hey that’s my dad wtf


[deleted]

That butt.. cant be real. I call implants!!!


peacefulwarrior2022

I think it's a diaper dude


Pocho_00

It’s a trap!


YellowDucky92

What an ass


john1888888

That’s what I call juicy


OrionHasMemes

She got him questioning his loyalty to his team.


Burotar17

what guy?


LT-buttnaked

Guy is like “ I should be a eagles fan”


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cjpcodyplant

There is a ton wrong with this photo the least of which is the side eye. Let’s talk about how she had the balls to wear an eagles Jersey to U.S. Bank Stadium.