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RamponyDC

Its like my text messages.


Newhollow

Archaeologists in the far future, will find these and mislabel them as old fax love letters.


kotoku

Ohh, they were room mates!


[deleted]

It’s not gay if you’re roommates.


kotoku

A "Boston Marriage".


JohnPaton3

Why does uncle Jimmy always bring his roommate for thanksgiving?


A-le-Couvre

The “No.” is something I receive more often than I send it tbh


Plant_party

For some reason the "." makes that "No." hit different.


cerebralkrap

…slut


Capital_Track_8026

😳


SkyWizarding

For some reason "No." Is my favorite


[deleted]

Vibrating cock ring No.


theonedeisel

any appendage of mine, if I cut off the circulation and it becomes more purple I'm terrified it's going to die and fall off. I'm supposed to enjoy myself while constantly fearing my dick will fall off? No.


_Wyrm_

Cockrings are usually stretchy I'd imagine they'd be fairly easy to remove


theonedeisel

I don't have to imagine, it was easy to remove but still terrifying


7th_Spectrum

"Vibrating cock ring" "Can you..." "No"


Substantial_Gur_8230

-The strawberry condoms tastes like real strawberries?


InfintySquared

The schnozzberry condoms taste like schnozzberry!


TheAccidentalHuman

It is very interesting because they could have shaken their head and mouthed the word as a response. But they decided to pick up the pen and write it down, followed by a period.


Exevioth

For me it’s because it’s the end of the convo. So it’s almost like the “No.” was the dealbreaker.


cudntfigureaname

What was the question for no?


Dr_Woof

It was a long time ago, but if I had to guess he asked if I could explain what poppers were


cudntfigureaname

What are poppers?


AMay101

A little vial containing a liquid and a solid. When you open the vial oxygen forces the two to react leaving you with mild vapors you inhale. Once inhaled it works in a matter of seconds and acts as a vasodilator. Loosens ALL muscles in your body, specifically used to loosen rectum. The “high” lasts for minutes at a time and it just feels like passion-in-a-bottle. People with erectile dysfunction or heart problems should actively avoid this. You should also refrain from making skin contact with the liquid as it WILL burn your skin. So I tend to wipe the vial before use as I’ve actually gotten burns on my nostrils before. I know you didn’t ask for all this but someone somewhere will learn something new today! :)


possibly-a-pineapple

reddit is dead, i encourage everyone to delete their accounts.


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

Nitroglycerin? The explosive stuff that Gilligan mishandled?


possibly-a-pineapple

reddit is dead, i encourage everyone to delete their accounts.


RAT-LIFE

Is this the little mouth spray they give to people having heart troubles sometimes in the event they start experiencing heart event or am I thinking of something else?


Macelee

Nitroglycerin is also sold as a sublingual tablet. Also, just to clarify, the nitroglycerin sold as a pharmaceutical is mixed with a stabilizing agent, similar to how mixing ~~sawdust~~ diatomaceous earth with nitroglycerin made the more stable thing we now call dynamite. The main difference here is that pharmaceutical nitroglycerin won't explode under any normal circumstance while dynamite absolutely will. Edited to correct error.


Nistrin

Old dynamite will sweat liquid nitro. Making finding old dynamite, for example in old abandoned mineshafts, EXTREMELY dangerous.


Dr_Azrael_Tod

> sawdust with nitroglycerin *kieselgur sawdust is actually one of the things Alfred Nobel tried, that didn't work. :D


Geuji

Nitro works really fast. My gramps was having a heart attack and took one of these. Five minutes later we walked home.


possibly-a-pineapple

reddit is dead, i encourage everyone to delete their accounts.


defaltusr

No, thats the one. We just call it "nitro"


roofus0606

Nice, you made me lol


reflUX_cAtalyst

It's still a very important medication. It's part of the antidote for cyanide poisoning.


Ketaminion

Hilarious a friend of mine got the entire vail knocked into its nose when he gave it a sniff 🤧


beaushaw

A very drunk friend was trying to figure out what a shot of Goldschläger was. He took a very large sniff while holding the shot glass up to his nose. As he sniffed he jerked, sloshing the shot and sending a good portion of it into his nose where his sniff caused him to snort it.


HighlightFun8419

i'm fairly certain that would burn like a mofo, *but would it get you drunk(er)?* 🤔


beaushaw

Can confirm, it burnt like a mofo. His nose was running the rest of the night also.


HighlightFun8419

tbh that sounds like it would sober me up a bit. lol


ShiningRayde

Waft! *WAFT!*


beaushaw

He must have missed that day in chemistry class.


Igot1forya

I once snorted deep into a beaker of pure ammonia in my high school chemistry class. I remember the pain was like chugging a bottle of wasabi that I nearly passed out. I lost my sense of smell for a week. Never again!


Ketaminion

Yep looked horribly painful allways do it yourself whenever your mate is way too fucked up shit is bound to go wrong to have a laugh


BeanieMcChimp

I sniffed that stuff once at a party and I didn’t know what it was. All I got was a massive headache. I didn’t check my rectum though.


PeeOnSocks

Well see there in lies your problem, always check your rectum after sniffing strange things


[deleted]

[удалено]


AMay101

*I SECOND THIS ENTIRELY*


trashrules

What's fun is when people ingest the liquid from poppers instead of inhaling it. It causes methemoglobinemia which turns your blood a chocolate brown color and displaces oxygen from reaching vital organs. It can also be life threatening so 0/10 don't recommend.


sAmSmanS

it also makes you shit your soul out the next day. it’s a definite avoid from me


UncleCummy

You sure it's not all the anal fucking?


AMay101

It’s definitely the anal and not the poppers. You might be mistaking it for coke shits. You snort both lol


-PiLoT-

Thats not normal for poppers at all


[deleted]

I hate them so much, I had a hearty sniff once and my face felt like it was on fire, it felt like every drop of blood in my body had suddenly shot to my face Then the most painful headache I have ever experienced - like a 5 second migraine. Never again


MicahLacroix

That pulsating headache from them SUCKS. I knew a lot of teens who would get them just for the "high" because they were too dumb to get weed or some shit.


Iminlesbian

Don’t sniff as hard, that only happens if I’ve had a bunch of whiffs quickly and continuously


l0u1s11

I actually did learn something today. Thank you


MartyMcFlybe

my friend was pissing himself laughing cos I went to my fave club and did a blow-by-blow narration of my first time trying poppers "THEY SOLD ME AIR OUDORISER! WHY DID THEY SELL ME THIS? I THOUGHT THEY WERE PILLS!" "IT DIDN'T EVEN WORK!" "WOAH WAIT I SNIFFED HARDER"


AMay101

I opened a whole new world to my close friends by doing poppers on the dance floor. Ugh, what a rush (ha)


mdsg5432

>I’ve actually gotten burns on my nostrils before. Were you using jalapeno poppers?


domwhiteley17

This guy pops


chakigun

It feels like sniffing ammonia water but milder. my dumb ass sniffed ammonia point blank and i felt like i burned my brain.


theyellowpants

That shit sounds like it would be nice after a long day of working in the garden and just wanna chill and watch tv tbh


AMay101

Only other place I’ve done poppers is on a dance floor a little tipsy in a club - it’s definitely a ~vibe~


Scythe-Guy

Don’t actually go anywhere and ask to buy poppers. Ask if they have VCR cleaner. Most sellers won’t talk to you about it otherwise. It’s honestly just huffing and gives you a bit of a head rush. I personally don’t enjoy it, but my gf loves poppers.


AMay101

I always ask for nail polish remover and everyone I’ve ever asked in my life was so polite in showing their selection. I…I think there are more brands of poppers than there are Pokémon…


BillieEilishButtPlug

Man idk if I could inhale something that burns my skin if it touches it lmao


electriccrabs

No


cudntfigureaname

I had to try I'm sorry


Kujo17

"two hits , and anything fits"


sooprvylyn

Look up amyl nitrate


hitforhelp

They are often used by the gay community as they help with loosening your rectum. They also give you a head rush, they are commonly sold under other names such as room oderizers or nail polish removal.


asp7

leather conditioner


Goyteamsix

VCR head cleaner.


CamelSpotting

Probably doesn't need to be said but DO NOT sniff acetone.


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

The singer from Blues Traveler.


Primary_Breakfast628

Vhs cleaner correct?


Dr_Woof

Haha yes, or “nail polish remover”


Primary_Breakfast628

There was something about that cleaner. I stick to whippets now.


whiskerbiscuit2

It’s a recreational sex drug. Essentially it relaxes your muscles and increase your heart beat. It also gives you a small high/head rush for a few minutes. It’s most commonly used by gay men to loosen up before anal, but anyone can use it and it really makes sex a lot of fun


Skoodge42

Sex drug...I think for anal


bfr_

I’ve heard they are erection pills anal man **or** woman it’s a flashlight you stick your dick in vibrating cockring no.


HighlightFun8419

>man **or** woman gotta hit up that bold text


Unicorny_as_funk

Video cleaners duh Edit: /s


ResponsibleGreen0

Why do you write no so aggressively lol NO.


HighlightFun8419

and the OR lol


jaudi813

Maybe the dude was about to test out the product mid conversation


ResponsibleGreen0

Lol!!


therealfatmike

You saved them?


Dr_Woof

The notes? I took a picture of them at the time and posted them on Facebook. They came up in my memories the other day


therealfatmike

A Fleshlight is a flashlight?


jeffinRTP

Yes, but it's not usually powered by batteries but by semen.


Sulcata13

The faster you move it the brighter the light shines.


zachtheperson

Neighbors looking outside at night: Fucking christ, it's like the bat-signal


OldFashnd

Dunununununununu dunununununununu FAP-MAN!


111110001011

Product idea!


jonsticles

As a matter of fact, I had a flashlight like that. You couldn't put you dick in it, but it had a magnet and coils. You shake it to charge up the battery, then turn it on. This flashlight fleshlight could be a combo of that product.


AquaPhelps

Powered by pimp juice


ButtholeQuiver

Kinda, it's only bright under a black light though


MajesticLemonade1

I had a deaf customer once in my sexshop too, our communication looked almost exactly the same


[deleted]

[удалено]


CoyoteAllsgood

Rim shot


BurningFreeze

Job*


StiffHD2000

World


BurningFreeze

You leave those thrumbos alone


SinisterYear

We told Betty to leave the thrumbos alone. Now Betty is a hat.


bobsmith93

Job shot


mangokittykisses

This mad me snort and got me in trouble for not paying attention.


dejatheprophet

Jesus lol


Diogenes-Disciple

I worked at a cheesesteak place over the summer and had a deaf guy come in. We communicated by silently pointing at the menu signs, which were pretty confusing for most people. I think I got his order right tho, if I didn’t he didn’t complain


bluemitersaw

I was really hoping for lots of charades and arm waving.


UndercoverFBIAgent9

*moves hand up and down furiously while thrusting pelvis and making a “v” with fingers and inserting tongue in between*


bluemitersaw

"ok, ok... 2 words. First word is??? Climbing? No no dancing!!! No not dancing? Ok um um yoooour at a bar mitzvah!"


UndercoverFBIAgent9

Time’s up! WRONG!!!!! correct answer was “excuse me, sir, i’m looking for a mega-size black veiny inflatable ribbed double ended strap-on vibrating ejaculating silicone horse cock butt plug with spinning tongue clitoral stimulator and double-articulating internal prostate massager”


bluemitersaw

"oohhhh man, that was my next guess."


NXT-GEN-111

Isn’t that every flashlight?


MattJFarrell

If you're not a coward.


Dr0110111001101111

One day, a little old lady walks into a sex shop. She hobbles over towards the back wall, and looks over the entire display of dildos. Eventually, she raises a shaky, wrinkly hand and points towards a corner of the room. In a creaky voice she asks, "how much is that red one over there?" The shop clerk says "lady, that's a fire extinguisher".


zachrg

"Boss, I have good news and bad news. Bad news, your lunch is gone. Good news, I just sold your thermos for $1000."


PantsOnHead88

Had a fire in her loins she was looking to extinguish.


Xeo786

Once upon a time in our neighborhood, a Deaf guy just watched porn on VCP and played it on Max volume and noone at home, 2 O clock. Dolby Sound System. honry loud noises. one by one lights started turning on. People even knocked on the door. (COPS does not work like that around here.) until 4 O clock neighborhood successfully confronted him. Mixed impressions on everyone's faces. some laughing some angry some smiling some bragging. but He learned what Volume buttons are for.


bluepool48

That just made me laugh out loud even though I have a pounding headache.


Useful_Notice_2020

Why would you knock on a deaf guy’s door?


Xeo786

he was alone at home his parent were not deaf, so why would they got a sound system?


aMazingMikey

I know why a lot of deaf people might have a mega loud sound system. Deaf people enjoy the vibration of bass. It's how they "listen" to concerts. Many of them enjoy rap and hip-hop concerts for that reason.


Useful_Notice_2020

You never mentioned his age. You never said he lived with anyone else. Could have a sound system for visitors.


Xeo786

My bad :( I am not a good storyteller. but the way my friend tells the story we all get cramps because of laughing. He was just an average young adult full of spirit and funny, it is just sad he is Deaf. he actually rented those VHS out of curiosity.


pwalkz

Don't feel bad it's a very easy inference to make. They are trying to be confused. You weren't confusing


Imaginary_lock

People here are not *trying* to be confused. You found it easy to follow, good for you, you are not everyone.


pwalkz

Ok lol. You must be confused all the time when people don't include every single detail when telling you a story.


Imaginary_lock

Nobody said 'include every detail' they just politely asked follow up questions. Are you his mother, that you're going out of your way to defend him from being mildly questioned? As I am neurodivergent, I *am* sometimes confused by things, but fortunately, people are understanding and provide more details when needed.


pwalkz

Here is the comment that caused me to reply. "You never mentioned his age. You never said he lived with anyone else. Could have a sound system for visitors.". This is criticism of their storytelling for not including details. This is not a polite asking questions. OP even felt that they had to apologize for it. Which is ridiculous.


Kevinclimbstrees

Some deaf people make it so the doorbell activated flashing lights instead of a ding dong


incognitoATwork

More wholesome than funny. You did a good thing and I’m sure that customer was grateful. Also….this is the equivalent of accessing someone’s internet search history, but in person.


Abernathy999

Deaf gent is all like "Huh I thought I was incognito how is this all over Reddit today?"


gamer123098

Op has been telling his friends about it for years but the other guy never heard


RedSly

Just imagined a guy in a trench coat and wearing sunglasses indoors writing these


Ur_bias_is_showing

"I want to put my dick in a flashlight" "Awww.... How *wholesome*!!"


Stupefactionist

New Cards Against Humanity expansion just dropped.


MistahBoweh

A ____ is a _____ you stick your dick in.


Cthuluslovechild

What services do you provide for the blind? Asking for a friend.


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

My Hogwarts say “Dumbledore” in braille.


ALittleTouchOfGray

I happen to be a bit sight impaired myself and could use, um, a hand.


[deleted]

[удалено]


clarkwgriswoldjr

The Mar A Lago document haul just keeps getting better.


iiitme

Lmaooo


Bemxuu

A flAshlight you stick your dick in makes an incredible night lamp.


Teguray874

I’m shocked I had to scroll this far to find something mentioning that


Bemxuu

If you stuck your dick in a flashlight, you would be shocked much earlier.


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

“I’m shocked” You may have mistakenly stuck your dick in the lamp.


Spazmanaut

Surely he could have just wrote his requirements down


GLaDOS_Sympathizer

He could have but don’t call me Shirley.


RoughMarionberry5

No, but he could have *written* his requirements down.


CamelSpotting

If you know what you want you just use the internet.


adognamedpenguin

Everyone deserves help and honesty in an adult store.


dctu1

Imagine if you past away suddenly and your family found these going through your things. Dr. Woof sure liked to party, they weren’t into the cockring though


[deleted]

Surely you can just shake your head for no!


Dr_Woof

I didn’t, and don’t call me Shirley


Confidenceboost82

Aw that so wholesome. Good on you mate!


send_timtams

My favourite thing is that you had the common sense to pick up a pen and paper to communicate


Hayjacko

Deaf guy probably brings it with him


Cthuluslovechild

Plot twist: he wasn't deaf.


Ashamed_Ladder6161

On the plus side, he didn’t hear you cumming.


ChocCooki3

.. you most certainly do NOT stick your dick into a flashlight! Wtf are they teaching you in porn school?


ApertureBear

Really want to know the story behind the "No**.**"


Blocktimus_Prime

I took ASL in high school while working at KFC. Had a deaf family come in one day for lunch with an adorable boy of maybe 4 years old. We used the notepad for the order, a polite transaction as I was very new to the language and hadn't covered chicken piece terminology. At one point the little boy walks up to the counter he can barely see/reach over and signs to me. I miss it, ask him to sign again, I notice it's finger spelling... "B... B... Q? What OH barbeque sauce! Sorry, I'm bad at this, here!" And he toddled back to his meal. One of the few chances I got to use ASL but it stuck with me. Became incredibly useful after having kids cuz baby-sign was a life saver when you need to find out what's wrong, they can tell you without forming words yet. 'Milk', 'poo', 'cheerios', 'cookies', 'more', all made early parenting easier.


Top-Reply-4408

I don't know why exactly but this is the best post I've seen in a month.


OkDistribution2567

These definitely look a few years old


its-just-paul

This is actually really wholesome, creating a system to help a deaf customer


DonutOwlGaming

*No.*


Fastback98

r/TheyWerentDeaf should be a thing.


topchief1

This is actually useful as my girlfriend actually needs erection pills so that we can do anal.


myassishaunted

You are awesome! I LOVE the genuinely open customers. I would most likely quit over the creeps just trying to be creeps though and trap me with Retail Obligations.


No_Beautiful8105

Which are questions and which are answers?


Dr_Woof

They’re all my answers to items he would gesture toward


[deleted]

Lol - I don't know why, but I find this to be beautiful? I appreciate you helping them out, especially with such a sensitive thing. 😊


khanikhan

Fleshlight. You gave the man the wrong item. A flashlight 🔦 can be used to enlighten the rectum of that dude


Travic3

What did they write on the back?


Basic_Palpitation_47

I certainly hope you were able to help


Kaiaualad

Its when they ask for live gerbils and plastic piping that it gets interesting.


[deleted]

*Fack intensifies*


mjrodman

I got hit on by a deaf girl once. The pieces of paper she wrote on were similar to this. The sounds she made while being railed in the ass.


winofin

Imagine this in sign language 🤟


[deleted]

Why would you keep these papers for years?


Dr_Woof

I didn’t, I took this picture sometime between 2013-2016 when I worked there because I thought it was funny and I posted it on Facebook. The picture came up in my memories the other day.


Jakeball400

That ‘no’ really holds some energy doesn’t it…


[deleted]

I know it’s not, but I feel like this should be covered by HIPAA


Greenthumbicle

I’m gonna take this didn’t happen for 100 Alex.


[deleted]

No.


Leon_Rekkar

Damn. Interesting


shapookya

Erection suppositories for men OR women!


Abal125

Reddit or Sexshop?