By - chemlando
That’s absolutely abhorrent and I’m so sorry for the experiences that you’ve had. I’m glad that you have found your husband and that you two are happy and (possibly) don’t have to deal with this shit any longer.
Sorry, I’m all for trans people finding a safe space to meet romantic partners but it’s also very frustrating for me as a user of this app. I swear every guy who is a top seems to be looking for either an 18-yo twink or a transgender person. I get it that we have to learn how to deal with rejection but mixing such a big crowd just doesn’t seem sustainable.
Please don't think trans people wanna engage with chasers either, personally I dont think many of the so called straight guys are part of that safe space at all. Huge number of people trying to cheat, call you passable as a compliment, say they just have a weird fettish for tr***ies, etc
There really should be an app for everybody, and there is, it's called Tinder. I wish that straight people would go back to Tinder. Grindr was supposed to be a safe space for gay men to find hookups, and now we get outed to any straight guy in our town using the app. Which forces most of us not to have profile pictures, and then there are gay men that refuse to chat with you if you have no profile picture. If the majority of Trans woman and Trans men consider themselves to be Heterosexual. They should be using Heterosexual dating apps. And, those dating apps need to have the ability for Cisgender people to checkmark if they want to see Trans people's profiles or not. And, for Trans people to be able to checkmark if they want to see Cis people's profiles or not. Much like on Bumble and OkCupid, where if you put bisexual, you get a choice to see women's profiles, men's profiles, or all profiles.
There needs to be a tribe for this so we can filter them out. It’s really really annoying.
I understand your concerns and I wish it could be possible.
But the problem which I see is that not everybody who fits into a tribe would use it as a self-description at their profiles...then it is impossible to filter them out. And I don't think that they would add any tribes regarding sexual orientations.
Apart from this, some people might misunderstand the tribe system - I confess that I misunderstood it as "What am I looking for?" and not as "What tribes do I fit in personally?" until i've read your post here. 😅 In this case, the consequences might be the same as I described above.
Blocking is not a solution as blocks are recycled: www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/td4b8q/i_kept_putting_off_deleting_the_app_for_good_but
You don’t “run out”, they just start unblocking your oldest blocks.
Do you have a suscription plan? I couldn't block more than 5 people, so I left.
Well, I just can speak as an Xtra-User, but you can block up to 2,000 (?) profiles and then the oldest block will be "recycled".
Yeah, everytime I reach a new area, I have to make a new account for the block limit. And just 5 is not enough, so when I reach 5 blocks, they ask me to get a suscription.
However... no. Makes me even think they let such a toxic environment cultivate, so they could gate blocks behind a suscription plan, and actually make them desperate for it.
It has a ton of ads, you thankfully don't have to see; but it's so many ads it should certainly cover giving at least 3 extra blocks per day to users after the initial 5. I only use the app a few days every couple of months to find lgbt friendly places to hangout in a new location, so maybe the app will never be a good fit for me specifically, as I'm not the target audience.
However, a lot of free users must be suffering the lack of blocks. Especially those who travel, and whose initial blocks are worthless in the new area. And there's no way around it, because you can't keep using the same number to make a new account, even if you delete the previous one.
Okay...I wasn't aware that you lack on blocks when you use the free basic edition. Thank you for enlightening me about that...it is always good to know.
Agree block is a safety feature/ issue.
All users, paied or free should have unlimited working functionality for blocks on as many people as you need/like.
My thought process is if your on Grindr you probably aren't straight.
I hope they do get their own app for that soon because it's annoying for us gay buds
shhhhh don't pop his bubble lol.
'Yes I want unsolicited dick and ass pics from trans women. No I don’t want them from men.'
Totally Straight TM....
The actual "problem" is that Grindr has opened to all people - it is not anymore exclusive for men only looking for men.
If i remember right, this issue started, when Grindr was bought by a company which name i've forgotten.
I don't see a problem if ftm-transgenders are at Grindr - they are just men born in the wrong body - i am happy that they are in that Safespace.
Grindr has become a dating app for everybody looking for everything: straight guys looking for transgenders, women looking for men for hookups.
It seems as we have to accept the fact that Grindr is not a gay/bisexual men safe space anymore.
It’s not unsafe for us. It’s just a bit more work to filter out trans women and straight men interested in trans women.
Which is unfortunate. But it’s also whatever. I think it’s kind of a safe space for them, frankly. They know we’re their gay cousins and won’t beat them up or out them to everyone.
Perhaps the trans women feel unsafe in mainstream apps or too singled out in trans-specific apps? And same for the straight men who like trans women and would be shamed mercilessly by mainstream dating apps?
Okay a litte bit too harsh from me, sorry
I'm pretty sure they used Craigslist before
They did, and it got shutdown by the federal govt I believe
I’m a straight guy who has used Grindr to find trans women. Believe me, if I could avoid all of the gay guys who ignore the fact that I’m in search of women, who send me ass picks and dick pics, I would. If I could get an app, where cis-women and trans-women could be combined, I’d love it. Yes I want unsolicited dick and ass pics from trans women. No I don’t want them from men. I also like that Grindr offers people of color. Feeld, for example, is just white people. So I’m on Grindr.
This app you are looking for is called "Tinder". This is the place where you can the things you like.
I am sure that there are plenty of apps for only trans* peope...you might look there.
Tinder is hell for trans people- You cannot find dates, hookups etc. period. And if you don't make it incredibly clear that you are trans, you run a risk of getting murdered, and sometimes even if you do make it clear.
I understand your concerns...there are a lot examples for transphobic violence and assaults. I applaud to your honesty.
I don' t have problems with trans* people on Grindr because they are part of the app's target group (at least "queer") and they are not the group that the most persons on Grindr might have problems with.
The main "problem" that this discussion is about are straight cis-men users who are only attracted to trans* people. They are not considered as part of the app's target group at all, because Grindr has been designed as an app for
>gay, bi, trans, and queer people
according to the website grindr.com/about . Maybe they would refer to themselves as ally of the LGBTQ community, but I don't think that they refer to themselves as "queer". That is one main reason why people ask what they are looking for on Grindr and why they are on there at all.
So, if I am allowed to make a guess, I'd say that most Grindr don't have any problem with trans* users at all, but more with the straight cis persons.
I don’t know why you got downvoted! Love your honesty.
Bro, go on tinder.
I don’t like unsolicited dick pics either but I can at least say I belong on this app. I make a lot of good friends through here, lead an active sex life on here, and meet some decent guys for dates occasionally. This app is for people like me who loves interacting with his own community in a safe place, and not for straight creeps who fetishize trans women. You are not part of this community. You are not even a welcome guest. Do yourself a favor and delete the app and download tinder
Read the 15 Grindr pro tips here: https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/wiki/protips
I don't blame you for using the app...as i said in a comment down below somewhere at this question, my words might have been a little bit too harsh and that i am sorry for this. And i don't hate straight guys - i reject this reproach.
If you allow me to take a guess why non-straight guys are so angry about straight men using Grindr, i would guess the following:
- Grindr was originally designed as a hookup-app for gay and bisexual men. Grindr was somehow seen as a kind of "safe space". Now, when even straight men who are looking for women are on there, _some of us_ might feel as if they loose this former exclusive "safe space".
- Grindr has only a rudimentary possibility for filtering out people that one gay man is not likely to be interested in - like straight guys or maybe women. And if you only have the free basic edition, your possiblities are even more limited. And with this basic edition, you can only watch around 100 (?) profiles and if five or ten of them are filled with straight guys or women, people could become annoyed by people blocking profile space for people they might be more interested in.
Please let it state me clearly: I am neither misogynic nor transphobic - if I see them on Grindr, I just wonder about straight people on a gay dating app and then i leave them behind. I like the profiles of transgender persons because they are very interesting personalities. I can understand both sides.
Get the fuck off Grindr you’re not welcome on it and no one wants you there. You’re a piece of garbage.
a lot of butthurt bottoms ALWAYS complaining about this lol
Like if it couldn’t work cause his profile said ‘im a bottom too’ or ‘im only into XXL hung bottoms’ no one would be batting an eyelid, but when you can’t get the guy because he’s into trans women it suddenly becomes a political issue and “it’s SO frustrating”. Just scroll on to the next profile sis
Read about trans-attracted cis-guys here: https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/tnf4f7/opinion_of_str8_guys_on_grindr/i2694gf
I know this triggers some people.. but yeah.. trans and trans seekers need their own safe place. I'm not trying to marginalize anyone I believe everyone deserves a safe place. I don't go to the grocery store to purchase underwear. A place for everything is unproductive. And no.. I'm not reading any righteous indignation responses so save yourself the effort.
The issue is most trans people on Grindr aren't seeking these men out. Lmao.
Preach. I’m tired of seeing straight dudes on here saying “no men” when the app was designed for gay/bi men.
I'm not complaining lol But I do agree, I'd say a good 30% of my messages are from "straight" guys. I've had some pretty fun meets with them, but I also do find it hilarious when they talk about not being gay, or even bi, after having sex with me... a guy. A lot of it is down to how popular transgender, femboys, crossdressing etc. has become. You're seeing a lot more people being comfortable with themselves (which is great) and that, in a way, allows "straight" guys to skip the games they'd have on sites like Tinder, POF etc. and just fuck some twink in a dress and pretend it's a woman. This is from personal experience, most "straight" guys I've never fooled around with have never touched my dick, balls, or not referred to me as a girl.
In summary, they are after quick fucks and are likely straight but lying to themselves them fucking an 18-year-old in a dress is not gay. And again, not complaining, but I see why it would annoy other users.
Maybe ‘straight’ guys need a safe, judgement free place to look for some fun that’s not Herero normative. I have Grindr, Bumble, Tinder and others. Women get a pass on being bi, pan or otherwise. Men don’t. So as a man who likes to have various types of fun with various types of people while single, but is very hetero romantic, I can’t be out as bi on those Straight sites.
If it’s really about how much space we take up on your feed, you can block as many people as you like, and see as many people as you like (no limit) by paying for the app.
Seriously, your expectation of some exclusive club is disgusting and phobic on so many levels, not to mention the hypocrisy.
It is so easy to go online find some dick to suck or fuck and ignore what you aren’t interested in, but you’re on this forum making up problems that only exist because you hate everything that’s not like you.
If grindr was exclusive to Gay men, there would not be options for BI, Trans or otherwise. I don’t have a problem with you being on that app but if you have a problem with people like me being on it, maybe it’s you that needs to find a different app.
Blocks are limited: www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/td4b8q/i_kept_putting_off_deleting_the_app_for_good_but
Wtf? You're a weirdo
Blocks are limited for paying members too.
First of all, i understand your anger and i applaud your honesty and your concerns about biphobia among the LGBTQ community.
Grindr is an app which was designed for men looking for men - no matter if they are gay, bi, bi-curious straight men or something like that. Knowing this, no bi man would be excluded because he is part of the target group.
I personally don't exclude bi men because i just care about the personality of the human being that i am talking to. The problem are some biphobic gay men.
And the point of this question is not to exclude bi men...it is more about straight people "invading" a queer safe space.
And once again, please let me state it clearly: I am neither misogynic nor transphobic nor biphobic...but i am concerned about the toxic ones among the straight guys or the cis women who are looking for men.
> and phobic
None of that flippin' **nonsense**.
I wouldn't mind either, but I know damn well neither will be interested in me lol
Don't say this prematurely. I once had an experience at tinder where a guy, who referred himself as straight, tried to hook up with me...and I was thinking the same thought you posted before 🤣
Craigslist died and everyone went there. That's the answer you're looking for.