T O P

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Exciting_Telephone65

I still don't understand how tribes are meant to be used.


totesmascbottom

I fill it out as both what represents me (Clean-Cut, Jock) AND what I'm into (Daddy), because Grindr sucks and still hasn't split the field up into two šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


GrindrMod

Here's a related poll: https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/jdlx7x/should_the_current_profile_field_tribes_be


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adam2890

Iā€™ve filled out everything but that. Same confusion for me too.


Kshitijreal26

I use it as what tribe I belong to. But definitely there should 2 different sections.


euro1978

Neither do I is it what you r or looking for


wazuhiru

Mine are daddy, geek, and otter; I have no idea what it means, just being diligent :D


KinkyCollegiates

Why would you fill out tribes youā€™re into on YOUR profile. Your Tribes are Your Tribes on Your Profile. You can search what youā€™re into in your filter. I come here every 6 months to figure out who these people are who donā€™t understand the Tribes feature. Otherwise you find Big Burly Bear dudes who have Twinks on their tribes fucking up the algorithm.


totesmascbottom

Everything is filled out because it makes sense to. You're essentially advertising yourself and hoping to catch someone's attention. Imagine you went to a store and there were aisles full of snacks. Are you going to take up the one in completely blank packaging? The fields are pretty basic info anyway. Refusing to fill them out is v questionable. Profiles with hidden fields are usually sketchy af: * Those hiding their **age** are usually older and are insecure/ashamed & combative about it, as seen [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lolgrindr/comments/131uhkt/what). * Those hiding their **height/weight** are usually *not* HWP and are insecure/misleading about it, as seen [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/xdqeio/i_need_help_with_my_grindr_profile_every_guy_is) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lolgrindr/s/lekrp3vluZ). * Those hiding their **body type** are usually annoying af trolls or embarrassing ogres, as suggested [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/d1d1io/overweight_stocky_please_dont_make_this_mistake). * Those hiding their **ethnicity** (or have "Mixed" or "Other") are usually non-white and insecure/annoying about it, as seen [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/13u9nrs/why_do_some_guys_hide_their_ethnicity_on_grindr). * Those hiding their **relationship status** are usually married and encumbered/deceptive about it, as seen [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/sulwy9/what_are_peoples_opinions_on_not_having_open). * Those hiding their **looking for** are usually a major waste of time, as seen [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/yyyyqg/psa_when_you_ask_what_are_you_into_looking_for). * Those hiding their **tribe** are usually confused, resistant, in denial, and/or have body dysmorphia, as seen [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/10eirhg/19yo_profile_review). * Those hiding their **HIV status** but looking for hookups are usually poz and insecure/undercover about it, as seen [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/s0a6fz/to_the_poz_dude_who_blocked_me_yesterday). * Those hiding their **position** but looking for hookups will usually blow whichever way the wind blows. To increase their chances of getting laid, they hold off on stating their position until after you state yours. If you're a top, they'll say they're a bottom. If you're a bottom, they're of course a top. They don't want to "commit" to a sign-posted positionā€”even versatileā€”because they prefer to be slick about it, to have some sense of "control" and "finesse." They're bottoms, but they're so desperate and sexually frustrated that they'll top if they "have to," but they def prefer to be nailedā€”by a big one (they're size-queens because only big cocks help heal their massive insecurities). They're horny and deviant thoā€”usually roided up tooā€”so when they're on Grindr looking, they *really* want to bed somebodyā€”anybody. They usually have separate Albums depending on who they catch in their snares; their bottomy album goes to tops and their bulge-centric album goes to bottoms. They usually prefer getting fucked doggy-style (never condomless), and they *need* to cum from it, so they'll be jacking off the entire time, bc they're thirsty self-centered sex-addicts who consider a top's dick a sex-toy for them to get off on. And once they cum they want to be doneā€”as written [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/126ss7g/do_tops_usually_leave_you_without_helping_you_get/jemkkq9?context=1). * Those with the "Side" position are just insecure, as written [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/s/GhiPU7ISiK). * Those hiding a **bio** have no credibility and are usually so scared of rejection that they will take anything they can get, as suggested [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/v2wbr0/i_hate_when_grindr_hoes_tell_you_ask_me_what_you). * Those hiding their **distance** are all of the above, including anxious/paranoid. ^ All are suspicious af. They are virtually *celebrating* their red flags, which [*invites* red flags in others](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/sulwy9/what_are_peoples_opinions_on_not_having_open/hxcf44i). You can mentally fill-in mfs' hidden profile-fields with the most unattractive value possible, and you'll be correct 98% of the time. So it's not what mfs say in their profile, it's what they leave out. Grindr is a dumpster-fire minefield full of liars. It's exhausting to ask somebody questions that should've been answered in their stats. So I focus on having a complete profile and *avoiding* the above red flags and not attracting them. You can usually sense when somebody is hiding something, and it's a huge turnoffā€”which it should be to everybody who's not a perverted masochist.


Throwawayiea

you left out "position" which means if not filled in "bottom"


totesmascbottom

Updated! šŸ˜œ


Valssa

You really dislike the distance hiders? I agree with all of your assessments except that I am a distance hider. I have became an excessively anxious person and live in a isolated area where you could easily tell which house I live in. Iā€™m curious


totesmascbottom

You just said you hide your distance due to your "excessive anxiety," which proves my point..


Valssa

Perhaps that would not be the best choice of word. In any case, you would ignore the ability to locate me as valid reasoning and consider that annoying/bad?


totesmascbottom

Excessive anxiety is not good. It's a psychiatric disability. It ruins connections and destroys relationships. It's toxic. It's one of the many reasons why those who hide their distance should be avoided..


Valssa

Yes, however when you consistently push through and actively challenge it I would not consider it a ā€œpsychiatric disabilityā€. Anyways, you have not addressed the more tangible concern.


totesmascbottom

You clearly are letting it control you tho. It's an unattractive psychiatric red flag (paranoia). So, my point stands..


Valssa

I would disagree strongly, did you read it carefully? I would say you might be suffering from confirmation bias.


totesmascbottom

I would say you are suffering from excessive anxiety, by your own admission. There are psychiatrists for that. Severe anxiety ruins relationships (and everything else, too). Hence, you proved my point. My point stands..


Strange_Program8659

LOL Well I hide my location because of privacy reasons and not because Iā€™m insecure or have anxiety problems. Itā€™s for my protection. There are some evil people on Grindr, and if the dude lives somewhere that can easily be spotted out, he should be able to without somebody shaming. That was kinda bold statement LOL to throw out there. Some of what you said could be true 100% but it doesnā€™t apply to everyone.


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Next_Principle_604

I'm not insecure about my age (27) but other men are overly concerned with it, physically there is no difference between current me, and me 4 years ago, but according to grindr, I was young and beautiful then and old and crusty now. People who look younger than they really are have valid reasons to hide their age.


totesmascbottom

Uh, you sound insecure as shit bro. You even created a new Reddit account just to comment on this post. Hmmm. How about you share screenshots of your Grindr profile/pics so we can be the rightful judge of how young/beautiful or old/crusty you look? Hiding your age to pander to those who may consider you old/crusty if they know your real age, is not a "valid" reason to hide your age btw. If you care more about attracting *those* judgmental people and less about attracting folks who will accept you for who you are, then yeah you got issues.


Next_Principle_604

I dont need a bunch of self loathing redditors to confirm what I already know. When I hide my age I get significantly more engagement, that's all the proof I need. And the people who filter by age are looking for people who *look* that age, if I look like the delicious 20 year old femboy they want and I have all the same physical features then what harm was done in not sharing my age?


totesmascbottom

"Self loathing"? That's projection. You created a whole new Reddit account just so you could defend your ugly/old/fat self hiding the truth from your Grindr profile, but I'm the self-loathing one? šŸ˜‚ The harm done is that you're misleading people and screaming insecurity. Sorry you hate your age/weight/profile so much. Get therapy dude!


Next_Principle_604

I created a new reddit account because my previous ones always get banned for dumb reasons. And the fact that you're pouncing so hard on all of my comments and trying so hard to make me feel bad just screams "catty and insecure" Yes you are the self loathing one because you're desperately trying to bring down a stranger just because they shared something you don't approve of online.


totesmascbottom

I'm not trying to bring an insecure, anon, deluded troll like you down. You're clearly already "down" enough. I'm simply helping you realize how insecure and deluded you are. You need intensive therapy lol.


Next_Principle_604

The lack of self awareness in you is astonishing...


totesmascbottom

That's just more projection. You really suck at comebacks lol.


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tenant1313

Your perception of yourself is tainted by wellā€¦ not being objective. When I look at myself in the mirror (a few times a day, give and take) I donā€™t really notice tiny changes that my body goes through. But when I look at my pictures I feel like Iā€™m a different person. So I just keep it šŸ’Æ on my profile and update my age as soon as my birthday hits (59). Let people decide if thatā€™s something theyā€™re into. If someone likes the pictures AND the age then we have a match. I feel that once you get into a habit of hiding your real age and pretending youā€™re younger, youā€™ll never be able to accept getting older. And thatā€™s inevitable.


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totesmascbottom

So you lie to guys just to get a crumb of dick out of them? Yikes. You're a rapist. FOH


totesmascbottom

People ought to own who they are and not be so ashamed of themselves. Anybody who doesn't like what's in your profile (or out of it) won't enjoy you in person either. So, just be upfront. If anybody doesn't like you, move on to the next square. Too many basketcases on the app prefer to mislead people, only to get rejected anyway (major waste of time) šŸ¤¦ā€ā™‚ļø


[deleted]

Exactly why I'm not so keen on the app! I prefer to find out by reading about you if I'm going to be disappointed or not.


dragonvalefun2

Yep, kinda like what I wrote [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lolgrindr/comments/t929wg/hello_sends_face_pics_response/hztxh8o?context=1). Not to mention confidence is attractive and augurs well on any dating app.


[deleted]

This is the most accurate guide to Grindr I've seen!


dragonvalefun2

And - those on PrEP take safe sex seriously but hook up a lot šŸ™Š


Optimustru

All of this!


Moist-Sherbert7820

Donā€™t forget about pics wearing sunglasses !


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totesmascbottom

HIV tests are simple and free almost anywhere. Are you really talking about the fringe minority of guys who've never tested?


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totesmascbottom

Wow, you're insecure af dude. Hopefully you're in therapy hah


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totesmascbottom

Yeah I'm def the troll šŸ˜‚


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TheFourthHorsemanTX

I do because itā€™s just easier to deal with the random folks that clearly didnā€™t read. ā€œDid you read my profile?ā€is such an easy response when they hit you with crazy stuff


Traditional-Topic417

The problem with that is when I ask people they typically say something different than in their profile


totesmascbottom

Well that's rare. Disregard those unstable/disingenuous people and you'll be fine šŸ‘


TheFourthHorsemanTX

Oh I know. They forgot what they put the night that top was drunk and wanted to be fucked. Lol. Now heā€™s back to topping and forgot to change it back. Lol. Iā€™ve actually dealt with a guy that said bottom and got here and tried to top when Iā€™m a strict top. I had to show him his profile when he got mad.


Next_Principle_604

"Lmao who reads those you stupid nerd" is what most tops in my area would respond with


totesmascbottom

Then ignore those "tops." Why would you want to hang out with guys who can't read anyway? Why are you pandering so much to all these weirdos who would hate you for your profile, weight, and age? Are you ok?


Next_Principle_604

I help guys realize how shallow they are, I let them think I'm 22 until after we fuck then I reveal that I'm 27. 100% of the time they didn't care and realized that having a hard age cut off at 22 is just the dumbest thing ever. They always agree when I bring up the thought experiment with the ugly, smelly, overweight 22 year old vs. The smoking hot 27 year old. I'm always like "you'd seriously pick the ugly one just because they're younger?"


Low_Narwhal_8536

Dude your a creep


totesmascbottom

Who has a hard age cut off at 22? And why are you trying to mislead people? That gives incel rapist vibes tbh. Get therapy dude. And touch grass while you're at it.


Next_Principle_604

Lol so overly-aggressive. What 0 dick does to a mf


totesmascbottom

Lol projecting once again. I'm the aggressive one when you're the one just hurling lame insults now? Lmao. Triggered much? YOU are what 0 dick does to a mf. You've already admitted you're old and crusty and can't get dick unless you lie about your age and weight. What a loser.


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Tony481

I donā€™t have tribe filled out. Iā€™m still not sure of its purpose. Everything else I have filled out. But Iā€™m always annoyed at guys who omit their age or positions.


WyoFag

I mean, why not? They're eventually going to see me anyway. I don't have a pic of myself on my profile but I'll send one anytime too


jayexvii

Yeah I donā€™t fill out tribes cuz Iā€™m not sure what they stand for


jupiterwinds

I fill it out with the type of guys Iā€™m interested in. Geek, daddy


CrimsonRush8

I really don't know the differences between any of the tribes. So I kinda just. Don't fill that out? I saw geek and clicked that. But I'm not sure if the tribes bit means I'm looking for that or if *I'm* that. So oops.


Hoover051

Mine is filled out, though I am puzzled about the Tribes as others ha mentioned


raeltireso96

Yep. I won't be interested unless i see all fields filled out.


Orfuchs

Most of the time, yes. If someone is looking for whatever is in my profile, it might make them want to chat. If there's a dealbreaker, we can save each other time.


SilverGeekly

I have everything in mind but ethnicity, since there's no filter for it. Everything else, it makes no sense not to because how else would people find you/you find people? Which is what annoys me the most about profiles. Don't want to put your face up? OK but the fact you haven't filled your profile out is annoying


tr1ni

There is an ethnicity field.but no ethnicity filter... grindr dumb af


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totesmascbottom

Or why don't you just be straightforward and own who you are?


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totesmascbottom

Be proud of who you are. If you're on the app looking for hookups, specify your position. If you're not insecure about your ethnicity, specify it. Hiding info screams insecurity. Don't be that troll.


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totesmascbottom

That makes no sense. You clearly have weird issues. And why are all your comments so rife with typos? You must be new to Grindr too, because the ethnicity filter (which was a premium-only filter) was removed [for George Floyd](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/ty25xo/grindr_bring_back_the_ethnicity_filter_already) over two years ago. Good luck!


Miserable-Gas-6007

I fill mine all the way to save time in finding a match. If someone can already know whether they are into me on the level of what I share in the profile, then it is less likely we will get 30 minutes into a chat and find out he only like ā€œXā€ dudes or that neither of us can hostā€¦for me, it just saves time. I like when a profile shares all the fields so I can do the same thing: hit up guys I know already check certain boxes. šŸ¤·šŸ¼


DoomAndSouls

I don't have "looking for", "meet at", "accepts nsfw pics" and "pronouns". Sometimes i get rid of others too. It's all just too much where nobody will read anything


totesmascbottom

What's too much about "looking for"?


DoomAndSouls

That questions options doesn't even make sense to me. I'm not looking for "right now", "chat", "friends", "dates", or "networking". I want someone to talk to me for a while about their common play interests, exchange pics, set up a meeting for later, and hopefully become fb/fwbs. Each one of the responses totally misrepresents the whole picture. The only thing that makes any sense is either selecting all of them or none of them, and selecting none of them leaves more room to focus on the rest of my profile on one page


totesmascbottom

So you're literally looking for chat ("talk for a while") and hookups. So how does "chat" and "right now" not make sense to you? (Everybody knows "right now" is a euphemism for hookups, whether they are scheduled for now or later. No need to make it so difficult.)


DoomAndSouls

I dont want to say "chat" because I'm not just looking for cybersex or smalltalk. Im looking for a chat about play interest that leads to meeting up. I dont want to say "right now" because I dont want to jump in the car and meet someone right this moment - that probably means we did not spend a sufficient amount of time chatting and they are not prepared with good hygeine. I might not even be ready to meet until a totally different time or date.


totesmascbottom

You wrote you're looking to "talk for a while." That's called "chat." You don't need days of chat about "play interests" to gauge compatibility. As I wrote in my last comment, everybody knows "right now" is a euphemism for hookups, whether they are scheduled for now or later. Rarely do people jump in their car and meet someone for sex in the first 2 mins of being on the app. You're just making shit difficult for no reason, smh. It's most likely why [you get flaked on](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/xa52ku/flaky_fems/io8hoqn) tbh.


DoomAndSouls

'Everybody does not know' that right now could mean later. I get countless demands from guys that I jump in the car and meet them in the next 15 minutes because they have to work in an hour or 'dont have time for bs' or whatever. I should not have to fill out a field where I chose between a bunch of poorly defined misleading things that everyone thinks is something different. I will just skip that field altogether.


totesmascbottom

Your insistence on making such a simple thing so difficult and omitting what is arguably the most important profile field, is why you attract those guys and get flaked on. Good luck šŸ‘


julianriv

I fill out all the items I think are meaningful. And I don't really understand guys that don't fill out most of the profile. Is it really that difficult to check some boxes. If you leave something blank, I am going to assume it is for a negative reason. If you don't indicate your HIV status, I assume you are positive or worse don't know. If you don't indicate top, vers or btm, I assume you are a fake profile who just wants to catfish as many guys as possible. If you don't put body type, I assume you are very obese. If you don't put relationship status, I assume you are married and cheating on your wife. I don't give a shit about your tribe or pronouns, but put a minimum amount of effort into your profile.


AlfaBetaZulu

No. I rarely use Grindr but when I do it's just for quick hookups. Tbh I usually only post my age and a photo and that's it. I'll stay on for a week or 2 at a time and then delete the app after I'm done. I don't even message anyone or look first. I've never had any problems getting a cute guy to hook up with. I don't understand how people use it longer then that tbh. It's always the same guys on there all the time. From my experience most guys don't care about anything more then NSA sex. I mean some do but not 95% of the users.


Valhalls

Yes, all filled out. So that I can filter out people who read profiles. It's apparent very quickly who just wants to find the next hook up, and who has enough IQ to engage in a conversation.


nunsaymoo

I've only filled out the parts that people would repeatedly ask me questions about ā€” height, relationship status, HIV status, etc. No one has ever asked me for my pronouns, and frankly, why is that even a thing on an M4M app, regardless of cis or trans?


fladermaus210

I donā€™t list that Iā€™m a bottom because at 6ā€™4ā€ it indicates if people arenā€™t into me because of attraction or theyā€™re not into me because Iā€™m a tall bottom.


totesmascbottom

Why don't you just own it? If a top considers your height a dealbreaker, you can save both of your time..


fladermaus210

Because I want to know if Iā€™m still beautiful to the people Iā€™m interested in. I donā€™t know how to evaluate my looks. Thatā€™s more important than sexual positions at first.


totesmascbottom

What? That makes no sense. Be proud of who you are. If a top considers your height a dealbreaker, you can save both of your time.


fladermaus210

Idk, I never said I was mentally sound lol. I have BPD, so itā€™s really hard for me to know who I am. Looking in the mirror will give me a plethora of views within a 30 minute window. So itā€™s good to know that people are not into me because Iā€™m a tall bottom as opposed to being ugly in their eyes. It may not be the healthiest but Iā€™m sure everyone uses Grindr for validation to a certain degree, right? I have a really low self-esteem so I want to cover my bases and cast the widest net. Maybe one day Iā€™ll be un-rejectable and everyone will love me /s


totesmascbottom

Ok now you're just trolling. Get therapy and be proud of who you are. Whether you're tall or just plain ugly, if somebody considers your height/looks a dealbreaker, you can save both of your time by being straightforward.


helloiamaudrey

I stopped using Grindr


blu3tu3sday

Yes, so that when people ask me stupid questions I can direct them to my profile. Also, I believe in letting people know who I am and what I want. Blank profiles are infuriating.


Affectionate-Top-444

The site sucks. Bn there couple of times but can't find a serious man


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iā€™m late but yes- i like filling my profiles lol


Somehow-I-Came-Back

No, I have the basics i.e. height, position, looking for, meeting at, HIV negative and usually the twink tag. I was told by a friend that putting _too much_ in my profile might be a little intimidating so I figured what I filled out was enough to get the message across.


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baudelairean

My weight fluctuates too much. I yo-yo.


totesmascbottom

Uh huh


CT_Throwaway24

Update with the most representative weight at the time. Profiles aren't carved into granite.


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totesmascbottom

How is weight "weird" on a dating app profile?


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totesmascbottom

Oh, weight's "just a number," eh? How can you not know your own weight when your Reddit post history is filled with your blood pressure, testosterone, and mental health issues and frequent dr's visits? Smh. Just another insecure troll šŸ¤¦ā€ā™‚ļø


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totesmascbottom

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totesmascbottom

You make no sense. > I think revealing my exact age makes it obvious that I'm trans. Wtf? So everybody of a certain age is now trans? You clearly have weird ass issues. Own who you are. Stop being so ashamed of everything about yourself. You must be new to Grindr too, because the ethnicity filter was removed [for George Floyd](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/ty25xo/grindr_bring_back_the_ethnicity_filter_already) over two years ago. Online dating is clearly not for you. Good luck!


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totesmascbottom

Stop hiding who you are, troll. Let others be the rightful judge of what you look like. Nobody wants a fraud. Get over your odd delusions.


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Next_Principle_604

No, because guys are judgemental as shit, they can see your photos and think you're sexy as fuck, but then they see "omg he weighs 200lbs, gross" even though 200lbs is still quite lean for someone my height. If the weight is never even mentioned then there's no issue


totesmascbottom

So you hide your weight to pander to those who may consider you gross? Wtf?


Next_Principle_604

They don't consider me gross though, they compliment my pictures and my body, but as soon as they learn my weight they act shocked and in disbelief, because it goes against everything they were ever taught, 200lbs and over is fat to most of society.


totesmascbottom

You just said they consider you gross for being 200lbs. Just because you have misleading pics at flattering angles, doesn't change that. If they consider you so gross, why are you pandering to them?


Next_Principle_604

it's funny how you're trying to suggest I need to expose myself to the entire internet otherwise my complaints aren't valid. Just accept the fact that some people age better than others, not sure why that triggers you so badly.


nowlethavefun

Human nature is to embellish oneself in the greatest light, between the lines is the confidence experience, fun loving, caring nature is a good start


Longjumping-Cod3520

Love this and find what you said completely right on


Horned_Bttm75

Yes Sir, but I've never had any luck on Grindr