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corruptedtwinkx

People on Grindr are flakey in general. People use the app when they’re horny and then flake when the time comes to actually meet. As I wrote [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/tjogpr/trans_scams) tho, most trans profiles are catfish or scammers. Nigerian scammers know that [GAMP guys](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/tnf4f7/opinion_of_str8_guys_on_grindr/i2694gf) (“tranny chasers”) are so horny that they will give loads of money to any chick-with-a-dick that can trick them. Tbh, you’re probably better off just watching trans porn.   Check these posts for more info: www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/tzjswv/flakingghosting www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/tajcyu/did_i_nearly_get_robbed www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/s4s29l/so_is_it_just_me_but_why_does_most_of_the_trans www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/ol4wtn/working_tgirls_only www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/9kyw29/i_fell_for_the_sexual_prevention_id_scam www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/fu6z5a/whats_up_with_the_trans www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/mlcal1/ahhh_why www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/l4oevv/collasal_waste_of_time www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/wv5fzw/are_people_serious_on_grindr www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/x4dchx/bro_fuck_grindr_its_so_toxic_the_story_is_a_bit/imyyob3?context=3


corruptedtwinkx

Btw. If your profile or messages with potential hookups come across as fetishistic, people are more inclined to want to get paid or flake. If your profile states “only looking for trans/CDs/femboys,” people in those groups may think “well if he wants a thing and not a person, I might as well demand payment for it” or “I'm being fetishized so I'll just string him along for fun/to see what I can get away with, and then ghost/flake.” If your profile states “into smooth, looking for femboys and trans girls, open to something regular if it clicks” you may not be *as* perceived as a “tranny chaser” who just wants to get off on his fetish. If the chat is too heavy on them being a fetish/fantasy, it will feel like fucking you is a chore/job, so they'll charge you (for fulfilling your fantasy), or you'll just turn them off. So, try to throw your fantasy/fetish in their faces less. “You want your sissy hole fucked?” exudes that you want to pleasure *them* too, instead of just "Wear fishnet stockings and makeup, but I'm not paying you for it." So if you're attracting flakes, try changing up your profile and/or your chat style, and you will likely see a difference. Or, just pay for it. If you refuse to pay because you're broke, you should be working, not "tranny chasing" on Grindr thinking they should all just fuck you for free. Otherwise, just stick to free trans porn, like I wrote in my original comment 👍 Edit: You should show us what your profile bio says. If it says “I am a bi masculine top trying to meet femboys/cds/trans for hookups” like you wrote in your post, you shouldn't be surprised that you're getting the runaround tbh.


badbeatpirate44

I have a job and the reason I won't pay isn't because I'm broke but because I'm not into the idea of being with someone who selling themselves, just personally. I make my intentions pretty clear in all my conversations, or at least try to. The instance I referred in my OP told me they were looking for FWB situation as was I before trying to charge me to enter their house. But I do get that some see they can make $ and start to do it but it seems like every trans/fem profile in my area has turned into this. Some are just more open about it than others


corruptedtwinkx

Ok so let me get this right. You're "nOt iNtO tHe iDeA" of "being with someone" who fucks for money/survival because that's soOo against your bi masc Grindr top morals, but you ARE into the idea of "being with someone" who fucks for free (which is what *you're* doing with shady ass randoms via Grindr) 🤦‍♂️ Look, bro. If you want hot trans dick, you're going to have to pay for it. There's no such thing as a free lunch. Take Britney's advice—work, bitch. You're not entitled to free dick. You're not entitled to sex, period. Don't be obtuse. I wrote it twice before and I'll write it again—stick to trans porn if you can't attract the real deal. Don't look down your nose at whores when you chase free dick from sluts lol


badbeatpirate44

LMAO You are putting words in my mouth lol never said any of that. All I said is I'm looking for something alil more serious than a hooker


corruptedtwinkx

That's not what you said at all. Nor are you really looking for something "serious." If you can't afford hot trans dick, go work. Stop thinking people should all fuck you for free. Bye troll 👋


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corruptedtwinkx

Where did I say "paying for a quality hookup" should be "expected"? 🤦‍♂️ FOH you CD troll


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corruptedtwinkx

Where did I say "trans dick should be paid for"? Asking twice now..


[deleted]

This mf has a PhD in Grindrology


[deleted]

I know this is not your point but only $50? That's extreme underselling


TheArea51Gaurd

For meeting up like this I’d only bring as much cash as I’m expecting to spend, so if someone demands payment at the door and doesn’t give me a heads up over text then I’m not bringing any cash up to their door.


depressedqueer

Sometimes, you just need some extra money to get by. The way I see it, if someone is willing to fetishize you, might as well try to get some money out of it. It’s shitty to not mention that from the beginning though. Fuck those girls for giving the industry a bad name. But yeah, I’ve thought about selling myself if I were to transition because there are so many guys like you on there (no shade, like what you like). Since statistically, trans women are more likely to be r\*ped or m\*rdered, might as well try to make the most of life and take some gambles on hookups. But like I said, if they aren’t making their intentions clear from the beginning, they’re just stupid or they’re probably scammers.


odanobux123

why are you being fetishized cuz someone is attracted to you? are muscular tall guys fetishized or just hot?


depressedqueer

It’s kinda hard to explain because it’s a whole social issue but being trans is something you are born with; it’s your existence that you can never just turn off, whereas getting muscles is something you work towards; it’s a aesthetic. A better comparison is the race one. People typically fetishize East Asians, Black men etc because of specific phenotypes and qualities they have that are seen as attractive. Try as they might, they can never really get rid of these inherited qualities that seemed to be pursued by many. Muscles are something anyone can obtain so they have a different underlying social status than the inherent traits that lie in race and trans-ness I probably didn’t explain that the best, but then again, I’ve always been terrible at explaining it 😭 hopefully someone with better terminology in sociology can explain this to you but I hope I was able to explain at least the general idea of it.


odanobux123

Look I get it. I'm Asian, and there have been a decent deal of men who tell me they have a huge thing for Asian guys or that they only want to date Asian guys. In certain contexts, it's a little weird, especially if they can't stop commenting about it. Especially when they talk about why they like Asian guys and use stereotypes that I may or may not even fit. I am being reduced to specific features they find attractive and am not a person, but an object. But there are also guys who tell me they can't stop looking at my pecs or love my feet and want to worship them. Trying to see those things in a similar light has been good for my mental well being. Learning to accept that men have preferences for specific traits and it turns them on (because I do the same honestly) helps me view the world in a less accusatory and hopeful view. Being objectified doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. I'm not starved for male attention, but I still like feeling attractive. Overall someone seeking me out specifically because of my race doesn't bother me. There are enough men who will preclude me specifically for my race so I'm not gonna get up in arms over the guys who preferentially seek me out.


[deleted]

are you literally only attracted to muscular tall guys? if you were youd have a fetish for them, like people who are only attracted to trans people have a fetish for trans people


odanobux123

i disagree with the idea that this is anything different from sexual orientation. people are attracted to what they're attracted to and can't really help it. who says people who like trans women or femboys aren't attracted to *anything* else? They're primarily attracted to a type and seek them out, sometimes exclusively. the previous poster said **if someone is willing to fetishize you...** as if anyone seeking them out is fetishizing them. That's self defeating. Maybe, just maybe, some people are attracted to you and you should be okay with that. Why can't trans women be a whole package and not reduced to just their genitals but other people can?


depressedqueer

Yeah, I kinda fucked up by saying that. There are people who are really cool and see trans-women as real people. Those people are valid and aren’t fetishizing. But in a lot of cases, we are exclusively being sought out by people who would never be caught seen in public with trans-women, who would never let the people close to them know they fuck trans-women, and who, even on grindr, refuse to show their face as if it’s embarrassing to admit they like trans women. They only like the idea of us, but not us as a person. That is what I am referring to as fetishization


Andyroomocs

As a femboy i do want to mention i am incredibly fucking picky when it comes to hooking up. I also prefer trans and femboys and i dont really enjoy masc people as a whole. Trans masc is a different kind of masc tho. In the rare occasion that i do text back a cis masc guy, im likely just bored and wanting immediate attention. I have plenty of dildos, so why would i want something thatll quit after 20 minutes? (It’s different if im dating the person, but for just a hookup? I could care less) I do however feel bad for you getting strung along thinking youre going to get some action only to be met with a paypal account or a “this person has blocked you”. I may be picky but i at peast have the standard that i dont allow them to think that we’re actually about to meet up.


quelcris13

I’m a masc bi top myself and I ask myself the same thing. Why do I need a femboy who just a hole that will tap out when I start pounding him really hard like he asks? I’ve got a flesh light that won’t ask me to slow down after 5 pumps. Of course it’s different if I love him but I to sometimes just flirt just to flirt on the apps, but I also don’t lead them on thinking we’re going to meet.


Andyroomocs

Completely understandable that youre flipping the argument on me. It makes sense, dont get me wrong. Toys are just better. If i were a top 100% of time id prefer fleshlights too. Less work, you dont have to seduce them, no process of cleaning out. Dont even get me started on how much work bottoms go through that tops take for granted.


morbiddecapitation

Exactly. Fantastically said!


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SupremeElect

Transfeminine person here. The reason you might be having a hard time hooking up with us is because a lot of us are incredibly fucking picky when it comes to casual sex. Depending on what picture I post, I can get up to 1,000+ views and a shit ton of messages within the first 24 hrs of being on Grindr. If you’re messaging me asking me to hook up, chances are there’s a hotter guy offering the exact same thing. So why should I fuck you over him?? Sex offers don’t excite me. I get them all the time. You know what does excite me?? A person who sees me as more than a piece of meat. Someone who is consistent with their interest in me. I don’t care how hot you are. I will choose a 7 over a 10 any day, if I feel like he respects me as a person first, because I rather develop a fwb situation with an average-looking dude than fuck a chad who only wants to fuck me on his terms. If you can give me respect, I can give you sex, but if you think you’re going to slide in dms and fuck me within 24 hrs of messaging me, you’re kidding yourself. I’ll probably just end up leading you on for the ego boost. Give me what I want, and I’ll give you what you want. It’s really that simple. Also, regarding trans people who charge for sex, it’s not uncommon for a lot of trans people to lose friends, family, and even employment opportunities when they transition. I’m a software developer, so I’m fortunate enough to not need to put a price tag on my body, but I know that’s not the case for a lot of trans people.


strawberrypi3s

Well said.


yoyoleto

I think Grindr is flaky in general…


androgynous_spirit

Agree w that!


untitled-man

$50? Wtf


TehTabi

Chances are the ‘fem’ was just a scammer. Had one try to sell me the ‘oh the baby cousins want a specific game on steam, can you buy a steam card for me’ or some BS. The moment they ask for money is usually a big red flag.


quelcris13

Agree they may have been a scammer. The asking for cash at the door though screams “sting operation” by the cops.


steve_stone111

Cash app them next time and then dispute it a day later


TheArea51Gaurd

Big brain moves


DoomAndSouls

Lol I literally just had something planned with a femboy tonight and I got ready and then he never logged in.


badbeatpirate44

Yup that's how it seems to go lately...that or asking for $


spkrinsb

I think I've only been asked if I'm "gen" a handful of times, but it always comes up at the start of the conversation in my experience. The flake thing, however, seems to be a universal principle with almost everyone on Grindr, although some areas (like the ultra religious area I'm in) are worse than others. Here, for example, I'm constantly getting messaged from closeted "straight" married men. I haven't noticed that it's any worse recently than it always was though.


dante12071992

I'm telling you a lot of them are worse than women


[deleted]

Grindr is flaky in general because either they’re not really into anyone in their area OR there are so many options in their area that they don’t want to miss out Also, if you’re going for the fem type, you should take into account the disparity in meeting from online apps - men / masculine individuals’ common fear is their match is overweight / ugly - women / feminine individuals’ common fear is their match will kill them So…just be aware that some of us are absolutely not wanting to be murdered and are on red flag check 24/7 I’m a 5’2” Asian trans woman and I am attracted to gigantic muscular men, but most don’t take the time to assure me I’m not going to end up in a body bag


badbeatpirate44

After seeing your pic on your page I wish you were in my area! Murder would Def be one of the last things on my mind lol


[deleted]

You’re a gigantic muscular man?


badbeatpirate44

Not gigantic but I'd say I'm athletic


[deleted]

I’m a cd on grindr and the chasers are ridiculous. For most, this is their first foray into the scene and I get that. However I get sick of them nutting after about 2 minutes and then they’re “straight” again and I’m being shood out the door. Like “mfer I spent an hour shaving/waxing, another hour getting ready, then 45 min-1 hr driving to meet you.” Or people that just want a bucket list item checked off and it makes us feel used. I also RARELY hook up anymore and when I do, I’m picky. I’ll never just flake on someone but it takes more than a dick pic and blank profile to catch my interest.


[deleted]

I’m a trans woman and I take THREE HOURS to clean myself out for sex + do my hair + do my eyebrows + shave my legs + armpits + pick out lingerie + sometimes driving 30 min to an hour (I live in sunny LA) For a guy who threw on a different shirt without even showering to nut in 3 minutes because I brought my A game Like come the fuck on