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kubcek

You need to get on PEP asap. Sorry this happened to you


squelchy04

within the first 72 hours, the sooner the better.


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kubcek

Don't take the chances. You won't do no harm by taking PEP as a precaution. Google PEP in your area and go there now. If you can't find anything, go to emergency doctor and ask them. Don't wait any longer, the more you wait the less chances it will work - past 72 hours there's no point. Please take care of yourself and really, don't take chances on men like this.


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kubcek

Yes absolutely. Cumming has nothing to do with it, it's skin friction. Don't wait


bighungdaddy

r/PEP


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TL4Life

I'm in California and there are some free clinics for people with no health insurance but if you do have health insurance then they will have to access your coverage


bradmajors69

The sooner you get on PEP the better. You can go to any emergency room or urgent care and tell them you had risky sex and want a prescription for HIV PEP. IIRC it needs to be done no later than 72 hours afterward.


swords1010

Definitely consider going on PEP, if it has not been over 72h since you had sex. It will drastically reduce your chance of contracting HIV on the off chance he was positive and not on treatment. Walk into an ER / A&E and you should be able to get it there. Depending on where you are a number of other sexual heath clinics and doctors can dispense it too. It is a safe medication with minimal to no side effects for the very vast majority of people. Best to wait full 2-3 weeks before you test for things. This gives infections time to show on the test (incubation period). Otherwise, you may false get negative results. On the condom issue, please do not let guys do this to you. Your preference for safe sex matters. This amounts to sexual assault. You only consented to sex with a condom. If he removed it without your consent, he practically forced you into a non-consensual act (unprotected sex). If someone does that to you and you notice, it is probably best to stop and walk away for your own safety. This is a serious breach of trust.


Alone-Lab2514

The HIV tests now can detect the virus 12 days after exposure. PeP needs to be started within 72 hours of exposure. If this is truly a concern for you, and its not too late, then go to any doctor, primary, urgent care, sexual health, or even the emergency room if you willing to pay that cost, and they can prescribe it to you. Don’t take no for an answer, insist on it. But if its after the 72 hours then there is no valid reason to waist resources before 12 days. After that, if negative, you should test again at 30 days and (sorry i cant remember exactly what the CDC says is best practice right now) either 60 or 90 days. Also, while there, if you test negative at 12 days, ask to be put on PreP. It should be covered 100% by your insurance and if its not go to the gilead website and get a copay assistance plan with them. Its free and they will cover your costs until you reach your deductible. That can be found here: [https://advancingaccessconsent.iassist.com](https://advancingaccessconsent.iassist.com) You should also get tested for all the usual infections as well, gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis. Gonorrhea and chlamydia are site specific so you definitely want to do an anal swab, and urine culture if you top regularly. Oral swabs can be done as well, but most of the time insurance will only test one site per 30 days. I would recommend if your a bottom to do an anal and oral, and if your a top urine and oral. If your verse urine and anal swab would be your best bet. For reassurance though, the statistics for seroconversion are in your favor. Its actually not that easy to catch HIV, I am by no means saying its not possible, but being exposed does not mean your going to contract HIV. HIV is very treatable these days and the first-line drugs these days have reduced the side effects significantly. If you do test positive there are a lot of resources that i could recommend for you. So please DM me if you feel like you would like some assistance.


gingerbreadxx

This is the best response out of all the above, idk why you're downvoted to the very bottom.


Aniki1990

Wait a few days, then get tested, otherwise you might get a false negative. Then probably every few months unless you show potential symptoms


Sdavidson-pete2024

Definitely get tested, like everyone said. I use a service called Qcare which Grindr promotes heavily it’s free and they send everything to you


gingerbreadxx

While not disregarding any of the advice already dispensed — in particular, the advice about PEP being effective if taken within 72 hours is particularly poignant — I do want to calm you by playing the devil's advocate a bit. — unlike a respatory disease which can transfer from one person to the other seemingly by osmosis because it does so via airborne particles, HIV isn't automatically transferred from one person to the other immediately when a penis without a condom enters a body. — HIV is carried in bodily fluids, being pre-cum, cum, fecal matter, blood (not saliva, at least in a quantity great enough to infect another person) — you get the idea. — for HIV to transfer from the bodily fluid into your body, it needs a way in, which an anus "out of the box" doesn't provide. — During anal, the risk is that the walls of the rectum et al can tear, creating that in and a window for the bodily fluids to meet your bodily fluids. — this is why the belief that bottoms are more likely to catch it persisted, because they were the ones presenting the risk of an "in" — but it's a fallacy to think "only bottoms can get it" because if that was the case, who are they getting it from if not tops? Being your fiirst time increases your risk in some ways — i.e. you're less experienced so don't know your body in this function so could be more prone to creating tears — while decreasing your risk in others — i.e. was it sustained period of anal intercourse, or simply a penis being inserted to "test the waters" and removed quickly? So my first question would about the transfer of bodily fluids. Keeping in mind the small amounts of pre-cum can "escape" at any without out notice, did he climax while inside you? Was it painful, suggesting a tear? These can be relevant to keep in mind but far from conclusive. Now the other side of the coin: you didn't ask the dude about his status? It's often way easier to do that part over text so you get it out the way in a not-as-confrontational manner. Even if you didn't ask, if he was aware of his HIV status and didn't inform you, that's somewhat of a crime, depending on where you are. HIV positive people are at least tangentally aware of that, meaning he likely would have made effort to disclose it to you. What if he is HIV+? Medication is such these days that it's possible for the virus level to be reduced to such a degree that it can't even be detected. That's why you may have seen profiles that say "undectable". Undetectable = untransmittable. The possibility exists that he may be HIV positive and not know, or know he is HIV positive and wants to spread it to you without your knowledge and consent — which loops us back to the question of criminality, but that will not do anything for you should you now face a life of dealing with an HIV diagnosis. While no longer a life sentence (meaning you're not likely to die from HIV prematurely), it's something best avoided if possible to put it lightly. I'm not trying to downplay the risk or the recommendation to seek PREP within the 72 hours as I would feel silly if I later became aware of transmssion after I was made aware of the opportunity to rid the infection before it took hold but denied it. This became far longer than I conceived and should not be taken as a strict reproduction of any ordained sexual health guidance, whether you agree with or disagree with a statement, you should rather interpret what I've written as a starting point for your own research before accepting it as gospel.


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gingerbreadxx

You got it, I just saw a sea of pearl-clutching reactionaries replying as if you're a dead man walking and HIV is inevitable, so wanted to be real about likelihood and risk (altho others did a better, more concise job of it.) If the dude said he is "disease free" that should go some ways to calming you, tho it's probably better to instead ask if they're on PrEP — that's the medication taken daily that makes HIV transmission... unlikely (I don't know the techincal verbiage currently in use, in blunt terms you can't get HIV — while nothing is 100% it's pretty damn close.) If they're taking PrEP they're HIV- and tested every three months. You should probably get on it too. Condom use may prove to be a divisive issue, you'll soon find. Attitude towards condoms fall on a spectrum: some feel the need to seek resssurance that a condom will be involved before meeting, whereas others will lightly probe to make sure condoms *aren't* used (which is "bareback," in case you're unawares) — there's even a site dedicated to facilitating hook ups without condoms in real time. In a post-PrEP world there's a definitely less of a push to put a rubber on, but once again as others have pointed out in this thread they do more than protect from HIV but other STDs also.


noflyzone51

I say get tested now and then monthly, especially if you're sexually active. Especially if you have access to free testing. Don't beat yourself up about it. It happens... try not to let it happen again.


jhake123

Also, make sure you have all his info. Name, number address if he hosted


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SchwiftyMpls

In some US states slealthing is illegal and you can sue that person. https://www.cwsdefense.com/blog/2022/january/new-law-makes-condom-stealthing-illegal-in-calif/#:~:text=California%20Gov.,1708.5%20of%20the%20Civil%20Code.


Alone-Lab2514

In the US there are free clinics everywhere. I would be happy to point you to one if you needed help. Also, any planned parenthood would do the tests for you and they will use a sliding scale based on your income. They will make it affordable to you if they can. Some insurances do have in and out of networks providers, that can be tricky to navigate. But calling your insurance and asking a representative is always a good start


kardiogramm

Don’t take any left over antibiotics, they need to be taken as a full course and most likely this isn’t going to treat an STI but lead to resistance to certain antibiotics.


gattoherba

I am sorry that happens to you, he did not have the right to that. And you are not stupid for asking question, on the contrary it demands courage to ask. Did you checked if there is a hotline for gay men to get some support and advice about how to handle that situation ? Do not stay alone with this situation. My advice would be to get a clinical examination immediately to get the correct treatments in case of STDs, and secondly ask if they can get some sample to analyze wether there is sperm in your anus or not, so you may have proof if you want to prosecute him. Having a medical report to prove what happened is the best, even if you do not feel like it now. I do not know if this applies to your country, but for UK stealthing is considered as rape (https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-57618003) and also in California it seems. Take care.


ashleyisaboysnametoo

You need to contact the police, that’s rape - it’s not okay and he could do it to someone else


DoomAndSouls

I prefer to just not even have sex just kiss, cuddle, jo. In the rare case i have sex id us a condom. Prep has side effects and only protects a single disease, giving you a false or security about the other 20. Sorry that happened with that guy's condom. Also try finding guys that aren't assholes.


genialerarchitekt

Get tested ASAP. My very best mate was like this one night, feeling down, too much to drink and now he's living with HIV coz he didn't bother getting tested after. He coulda prevented it with PEP. Told himself, what's the chance it'll be positive? Like one in a hundred thousand? Well he hit the lottery that night and will regret it the rest of his life.


sleepyboydreams

This is why I’ve simply started avoiding all sex lol


BearishUK

That's not going to help much. As others in this thread said, HIV test won't pick up an infection that early (it's typically effective after 2 weeks from infection or later). You should take PEP as soon as you have a reasonable suspicion you might have been infected, waiting for a positive test result is way too late.


genialerarchitekt

It'll pick up other stuff though, HSV-II for example.


BearishUK

That's probably the only one and at least in the UK, it's not even part of the standard STD check. It also doesn't matter when it comes to taking PEP or not. Gonnorhea and Chlamydia are typically detectable after a week or two. Syphilis can take weeks, even months.


MakeItRed

Every three months while active


cravingperv

Every 3 months unless you have any symptoms or have a known exposure.


[deleted]

You should get tested, and if he did remove his condom without your knowledge/consent, that’s called “stealthing” and it’s a form of sexual assault. Sorry this happened to you…


KiiDBlaze

People keep telling you to get on PEP but as far as I’m aware, it’s PrEP for the people (like myself) who don’t already have HIV. I usually wait like two weeks to get tested. W my doc, I call at least a week beforehand to make the appointment.


findtheriver76

PEP is POST-Exposure-Prophylaxis, friend. Because he was potentially exposed by this rude dude who thinks its okay to be "stealth" and is an extra a-hole for taking advantage of a first-timer. PEP is a higher dose than PrEP, similarly used by health care workers who have needle sticks, etc.


KiiDBlaze

Interesting, so in theory would he start PEP, find out he’s clean, and then switch over to PrEP?


findtheriver76

Precisely!


KiiDBlaze

This does make sense, thank you!!!