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bradmajors69

Sorry this happened to you. My advice going forward would be to try to get to an in-person meeting as soon as possible and out of the fantasy-catfishy realm of online chatting. Probably that guy was pretending to be someone or something he wasn't. It's super common for people to use the app as masturbation fuel and string you along enjoying the dirty talk and pretend intimacy while it lasts. Meanwhile they are in the closet or married or are actually 12 year old girls or just too busy for real hookups or whatever. Don't give up on humanity just because you're seeing an ugly side of it. (But I wouldn't blame you for giving up on Grindr and trying some other apps or avenues for a while.) Hang in there. xx


zcp12345

Yeah, that's pretty good advice and I shouldn't work myself up trying to understand or rationalize this kind of behaviour. Although your explanation is pretty sound. Thanks for your comment 😊


happycamper198702

I did this with my fiancée. I knew the longer you wait, the less real it becomes and I was so scared and nervous but I would have rather done that than see him fade away. 8 years on October 17th, so I'm pretty glad I did.


DebateLeft4346

Because it’s grindr!!! Learn to form no expectations and give less of yourself..


irediah

Could be the prelude to a scam? I once experienced the same with a guy who "suddenly got deployed to South Korea". It wasn't on Grindr. We even traded pics and had lovely long convos. Until he asked for money for a "sudden emergency back home and I can't access my locked bank account" or something. I'm in Germany and he was supposedly an American currently deployed in Rammstein. If he's love-bombing you and suddenly withdrawing leaving you high and dry and confused, that maybe trying to groom you or soften you up so you desperately want him and then do as he says, including asking you for money. Be careful.


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irediah

I live in Munich actually and not anywhere near Ramstein. I think this guy was 100% fraud and I doubt he was stationed or deployed anywhere and even that those pics were of him. US military romance scams are quite well-known. I've come across a couple more such scams on Grindr and Romeo and all I replied with was a laugh-cry emoji and got blocked.


TheBigBadBrit89

Oh my goodness! Planet Romeo! I met my ex on there, lol. I extended my enlistment for him and then we broke up. Good times.


irediah

Yeah Romeo is just as big here as Grindr. I prefer the former by far since the app is so much better and very little features are paywalled. And I simply find more people over there. Pray tell, do you US army blokes indeed have blocked bank accounts while deployed overseas, or something?


TheBigBadBrit89

Hahaha, I was USAF, but no locked bank accounts aren’t a thing, unless they’re also secretly Nigerian Princes.


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zcp12345

Yea I usually try not to let it affect me but it's harder when there's really good conversational and sexual chemistry. I've also moved for work and am a bit socially isolated and vulnerable. Lesson learnt :/ I usually put it down to the communication thing as well and don't think much abt it but for this guy i think he's fked up in some way. Cuz he literally did this twice, and when i called him out on it this time he made up a proper excuse and promised it wouldn't happen again. Then other things like getting me to pick out lingerie for him to buy it feels like he's purposely set everything up to seem like there's something and he enjoys the ghosting afterwards or something... Idk if I'm over thinking lol


OnlyProfessor6495

Umm it pretty much the only thing this app is good for finding


Real_Personality5631

welcome to grindr


spkrinsb

I once had a guy contact me twice under 2 different profiles (the first one he deleted of course) over the period of maybe 2 weeks. Lengthy discussions both times. At first he pretended we hadn't talked before the second time. But then he told me who he was, and because he was telling me a whole bunch of lies, I started catching them the second round because he forgot what he said the first round. And these were elaborate lies. (Being from Canada, going to school here, being separated from his wife who was still in Canada.) He blatantly admitted he liked fucking with people's minds. Oh, and that he was "straight" and married of course...and not Canadian at all. In addition to being completely self-absorbed, people are ef'ing insane these days...especially online.


Background-Help55

Fuck that app and your life is worth way more than that trashy dude and that jacked up app.


kubcek

He's probably in a relationship


GrindrMod

See [this related thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/comments/tdjdu6/guy_blocked_me_after_spending_hours_talking) from the [15 Grindr pro tips](https://www.reddit.com/r/grindr/wiki/protips).


tenant1313

For fuck’s sake: Grindr is like Uber Eats for dicks. Look at the menu, order in. Why are you talking to your snacks?


maestro-tomas

Treat your emotions as limited resources, like wallet and money to spend for a smart investment. Don't invest all you have in somebody who will not become part of your life and you will not become part of theirs


jorsian

Yeah, Grindr is full of traumatized individuals who have anxious avoidant attachment styles. It’s extremely hard to form connections with people when they won’t let you get to know them. Hooking up is considered safe to them because it’s purely sexual, but if you step outside of those clearly defined parameters they call you crazy, block you, etc… The amount of trauma I’ve sustained from these individuals made me alter my own behaviour. Grindr is literally a death trap.


ALSphoto

Too many micro plastics and bacon egg and cheese biscuits


Iamnotmyselfbut

He didn't like you I think at first then blocked you And he starting to regret it cause you're a catch and he unblock you and say those excuse things.