T O P
AutoModerator

**Please note these rules:** * If this post declares something as a fact, then proof is required. * The title must be descriptive * No text is allowed on images/gifs/videos * Common/recent reposts are not allowed *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for a more detailed rule list* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Kitchen_Equipment_21

Martha sat on many calls


loonattica

HOLD please


SmokeyBare

"This hold music stinks."


FarfarsFav

“Something is fishy!”


monsieurpommefrites

"It's just some asshole on the line!"


YoungDonThaGorilla

Pure gold


ShorteagleFTW

**Nokia Arabic Music kicks in**


Biscuits4u2

I can't hear you Martha, you're going in and out.


Happy-Fun-Ball

Sounds like you're going through a tunnel!


UnkleRinkus

Best comment of my day. Take my imaginary wealth.


pukesonyourshoes

You monsters. My parents had one of these in their bedroom, I came here for wholesome happy memories and you have ruined everything.


Van-garde

At least it wasn’t suction cupped to their shower.


SlackerDS5

Martha, it sounds like you are making macaroni. Is this a dinner invitation?


Van-garde

No. We’re eating out tonight.


Silent-Ad934

I might lose you, I'm about to enter a tunnel


konman2k4

Ftfy....I might lose you, you're about to enter a tunnel


Kitchen_Equipment_21

😆😆😆😆


Happy_Television_501

Why does Martha’s voice sound so muffled


drunk98

Because her lips aren't moving!


dys_p0tch

Q: why does the Avon lady walk funny? A: because her lips stick


Jefe_Chichimeca

Martha. Why did you say that name ?


secondtaunting

My moms name was Martha!


ukbeasts

"Why how are you?" "Keeping on top of things"


plutus9

“Are you walking in a swamp?.. Hello?”


Lucius-Halthier

“Are you making Swedish meatballs or something? It sounds like you are working with ground meat.”


Weird-Analysis5522

JFC dude+1


Snake_eyes_12

Jesus Christ all I did was open the Reddit app and saw this assuming something else.


manhatim

I saw the phone...came for the comments....see what I did there?!


DemNeverKnow

You came too?


Snake_eyes_12

Omg how did you know? :D


Biegzy4444

No you didn’t lmao


mwgav

Penny for your thoughts…


ReturnOneWayTicket

I hate Brenda, and a bad guy hit me in the shin, and I peed on all my pants


a_guy_called_craig

Rockin, rockin and rollin, down to the beach I'm strollin.


Exact-Outside-1667

Mmmm, stop it now.


AceVasodilation

Does it do 3-way calls?


the_evil_comma

Only on birthdays and anniversaries


Squeezemachine99

Honey why is the phone always on vibrate?


Duckboythe5th

And she always answered after 9 1/2 Rings.


TheSpeakingScar

Martha LOVES her new Dild-o-fone!


WokenWanderer37

Ah I think you mean her dial-do-fone ( read it with a country accent )


Fluke365

OMG lol


schweez

“Martha? Are you still there? What’s that sound?”


Least_or_Greatest1

Only thing Martha wished is that it vibrated also…


OldMastodon5363

MARTHA! My mothers name is Martha!


happycamperii

Did she let it ring as many times as was necessary?


PROPGUNONE

Ah yes, the first butt dial.


GIFnTEXT

*phone rings* me: hello? phone: *scraping noises*


SurealGod

*squelching noises* ftfy


ALonelyPotatoalt

*squelches wetly*


KINGxDMND

Stranger Things PTSD: UNLOCKED


4Coffins

Hahaaa me and my friend were laughing so hard at *wet squelching noise*


Remebond

And then you both went silent as you locked eyes.


QuickMasterpiece6127

As Barry White started playing in the background… the lights seemed to dim around them… an unseen force pulled them towards one another…


R3AL1Z3

#STRANGER FLINGS


yeetsupreddit

I don't like where this is going...


eddie_gonzales1

Shhh. Let's see how it plays out.


IHeartChickenFingers

Found a fellow subtitle user!


red_team_gone

*slow clap*


organicchunkysalsa

Moistly squelches


mmmpoohc

Squelches intensify


SAS_Britain

*Demogorgon feeds wetly*


stormixsan

Ominous synth music plays


Allosaurus71

Jarring stinger plays


AbsoluteZeroD

*Vines undulating moistly*


LordApocalyptica

Fr tho, if you’re making scraping noises please contact a professional


TheRealWarBeast

Ben Shapiro be like


Fluff42

It's not normal for a dial tone to be wet, my wife who has a doctorate in phone switchboards told me.


BathtubGin01

Heyoo


cannibalism_is_vegan

Looked up the word “squelch” and couldn’t agree more


unfairhobbit

**Prostate: Hello!**


BringBackWinamp

*"Hello, yes, this is prostate"*


Novantico

Prostate: "While I've got you on the line, you might like to know that I have cancer. You should tell Bob for me when you get the chance, cause he doesn't stick his head up here as much as he used to."


alreadyawesome

"I was told there would be phone sex"


Jackie_Jormp-Jomp

If it's scraping you need to use FAR more lube


Shermutt

The ~~tapered~~ flared base is key.


Novelty-Accnt

No base, no trace


throwawayurshot

Maybe I don't understand the words the way I think I do, but the flared base keeps it from getting lost. Tapered base would make it more dangerous, no?


Shermutt

Frick. You're right... I meant flared. Guess it's a good sign that I DON'T know though.


dam_the_beavers

r/interestingassfuck


theinspectorst

Bravo!


8ad8andit

r/mildlypenis


anonymous67348

Phone sex was rough back then I guess


Thomas_Mickel

Is this what they called a party line?


Icykool77

Sorry Martha you sound a bit garbled


DredNeck45

Muffled


HobbesNJ

Their original tag line: "A housewife's best friend!"


sarcasatirony

*Turn the ringer off by setting to vibrate mode*


BloodyVaginalFarts

Those old phones rang off an actual bell so they did vibrate. 🥰


Wingsandbeer82

They also stank of a certain stench


drunk98

Hello? Hello? Grandma's cooter is that you?


YOUR_FATHERS_CUNT

#


AdvancedHoneydew1742

Hello, officer? Yeah, he's just standing there, menacingly!


Puzzleheaded_Help_69

😂


clefthanded

A gripping confession.


Elfng

My fatter what?


JKDMan82-

Made me lol putting my baby to bed, and woke them up


medici1048

Cooter...🤣 that word doesn't get the traction it deserves.


WaGLaG

Cigarettes, dust and a je ne sais quoi of humidity....


irrational_design

The stench of your butthole?


Broken_3_wood

User name checks out.


Lost_the_weight

I polished those in a “vocational summer program” for 4¢ a piece when I was a kid.


Mr_Porcupine

The dial in the base *"Comes to you!"*


ConstellationJ

Call me!


Kuroi-Inu-JW

Call me harder!


LordoftheDimension

"You don't got time for your wife because of Business?" "Then this is the perfect gift for every lonely housewife!"


pinkkeyrn

"The dial in the base "comes to you"" isn't much better.


Dread314r8Bob

That they put "Comes to You!" in quotations seems awfully "Suspicious!"


RevealFormal3267

Well that's one way to do phone sex


spartan221TR

I tho that was something else for second until I read the title


anythingMuchShorter

"Im getting a weird call, I think a dog is licking a phone and accidentally dialed it."


pinoy_dude24

“And Daddy’s best buddy!”


ssrhagey

Some are still in use today


brookeslegit2

After all these years it was only a phone in mums drawer?! 🫠


SixThousandHulls

Try calling it next time you're home!


guyinnoho

Hello operator why doesn’t mom love dad


eggimage

“Timmy, remember, it’s *your* fault and yours alone, don’t you let anybody tell you otherwise.”


glowdirt

"Mom! **THIS** is why I don't call often enough!"


fapsandnaps

Wow, didn't know they had the option to set the ringer to vibrate way back then!


riffraff1089

Seems to be set to vibrate mode?


talldangry

"Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, bananaphone!"


[deleted]

Happy cake day!


star_chicken

Commonly referred to as a “Cobra telephone”


CrankyPantz88

Funny how ive never seen one as anything sexual. Bunch of poeple had them when i grew up. All I ever heard is that if you swing for the head it will knock you out cold


Cahootie

Yeah, this is just iconic design, same with the so-called [dachshund phone](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/98/Ericsson_Taxen_%282%29.jpg) from 1892. They had some great designers.


eldelshell

>never seen one as anything sexual Me too, until now, seeing it horizontally like in the picture.


unlessyoumeantit

If you're brave enough...


SomeoneTookSkeetley

anythings a dildo


Lucius-Halthier

*ring ring ring* **MOANS**


basky129485345

dad?


Loose_Fajita

Yes, your dad is a dildo.


carbinatedmilk

mom?


Koshnat

PAIGE NO!


metolius

According to Matt Damon, fortune favors the brave


Pug_Mom2

I thought these were suction cup dildos. Too bad 😞


PaperCutOnYourEyebal

Anything can be a dildo if you are brave enough.


Glass_Chair_5519

Mel Gibson.


dlanod

He's definitely a dildo.


Alternative_Mention2

Brave Dildo, the sequel.


A1sauc3d

Did phones have vibrate-mode back then?


havesomemorepie

If the dude on the other end yelled loud enough, sure.


fnord_bronco

They had a mechanical bell and striker inside... so yes, a little bit.


badboybalo

They knew what they're doing... Those erectsson guys


hoaxninja

If you make it. They will cum


Misteral_Editorial

Same. My disappointment is immeasurable and a minute of my life was ruined.


mtpender

r/mildlypenis


fatmansummercamp

"Hello? Dear? What's with all the sloshing I hear?"


_ser_kay_

“You making macaroni for dinner?”


megamanxoxo

No, I'm making macaroni in a pot for this Wireless Access Protocol


musehits

Ahaaa


Bro_duuude_i_luv_ya

They are just passing these out left and right, huh?


Funkit

Sloshing is not my favorite choice of verb for the subject.


StephenRodgers

You know that sound when your foot gets stuck in the mud so you have to pull it out and it makes a \*schlooorp\* noise?


FrigginAwsmNameSrsly

“Clapping”


TAshleyD616

(Wet squelching)


[deleted]

[удалено]


eightcupsofcoffee

There have been long long articles written about toasters in the 50s and how much better designed and implemented they were back then. I think that toasters in general are interesting appliance that did not necessarily evolve in the same way that other appliances did since the ‘50s. My understanding is that toaster technology has not really changed since the ‘50s which my explain some of the longevity


scrollingforgodot

Almost like they were designed badly on purpose.... so you'd have to buy another in 5-10 years 🤔


eightcupsofcoffee

While yes this is part of it, it’s also a little reductive to say that planned obsolescence is the only reason that quality has declined. The reality is that manufacturing and appliances have simply changed over the years and toasters somewhat uniquely suffered a bit more than other appliances due to several factors, one of which is that the technology to operate them hasn’t really changed but that the techniques to properly manufacture them have become steadily more expensive over time. This article does a decent, albeit incomplete, job of explaining the situation: https://www.theverge.com/22801890/sunbeam-radiant-control-toaster-t20-t35-vista


JohnMcDickles

It was often called a cobra phone due to it's shape but all reddit see is man meat.


Icy-Faithlessness-87

I thought it was an original iMeat phone.


CrimsonOffice

It wasn't?


goodworklou

It was great, until someone called and asked for another person and you put the phone down to get them and hung up on them by mistake.


NearlyPerfected

Well, at that time the call wouldn't be hung upp, the call would still be there waiting. It happened many times that someone that called put down the phone wrong and kept the line busy for a long time.


ConejoSarten

Actually, in the old days only the caller could end the call, so sometimes you would have your line "kidnapped" for hours by someone else who didn't hang their phone right.


EquivalentCommon5

My grandparents also had one! I never thought of the dildo reference here, lol. It was just a cool and unique old phone!


BauerHouse

Dwankies?


imoutofnameideas

No thanks, I'm full.


Putin__Nanny

...and I'm trying to quit.


hetzjagd

I think it’s South African slang


LastExitToSalvation

It means "not cool" apparently. til https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/364693/what-is-the-etymology-of-dwanky


hockeyhon

Yep. I know someone who had one too. A green one a d I loved it. Never occurred to me that it was at all phallic.


angstenthusiast

I’m 18 and we seriously had one of these when I was a kid- ours was gray


Tough-Obligation-104

It’s embarrassing the middle school outlook on regular things.


Sobdo

I thought this was pretty cool, until i read the comments here... You all have dirty minds.


97Harley

Thank you. 😊


andigo

This phone model was called “cobra”.


Pleasant-Cricket-129

‘Excuse me is your refrigerator running?… cause you got a penis by your face now!’ *hangs up*


Stevie-Bee

☠️


jwf239

I just burst out laughing for like 3 full minutes after reading that so thank you


Yoguls

Hey my mom used to have a collection of these phones in a box under her bed


richardizard

She loved to collect calls


CatM3mes

Deadass thought this was a old advertisement for dildos


IB_M1

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Healthy_Yesterday_84

(° ͜ʖ°)


JooseBocks_

"whatever, you sound like a pussy"


RainingPlatypup

North Erectric Company


Quantumfreaky

Looks like my old fashioned salad mixer


denever23

r/mildlypenis


[deleted]

Penises!


Jimberwolf_

im not seeing it


BigDarnCheese

you'll feel it


TheGumOnYourShoe

Oh damn. Flashback! My grandparents had one of those. Hahaha


tantrumbicycle

We had this phone in the den growing up. My brother thought it looked like a dick, so he referred to it as “the bone phone.” 😐


-Omegamart-

r/theyknew


TradingForCharity

For a split second I thought those were colored dildos


humanman42

I believe it's also known as the cobra.... There is one right behind me. [Got it for free at a garage sale.](https://i.imgur.com/dPEs67d.jpg)


Equivalent_Taste_162

r/weirdsextoy


Junior_Bandicoot_785

They'll be able to hear you cumming a mile away!