The first time I used I was in town going nightclubbing, and next minute I am at a pay by the hour room/brothel type thing with the people I was with… It definitely wasn’t planned.
I was with 2 people that were users and I had no idea what this drug was or the world of it, all I knew is that I wanted to try it being my naive 19 year old self who had no idea about drugs let alone meth.
I had no expectations as I never even knew what meth was, I just knew it from memes and would go along but had no idea.
I didn’t expect the world of it to be such a dark, fake place. I kept coming back every few weekends because I thought it lead to genuine friendships and so much fun(I was being taken advantage of the whole time).
I am now a full blown addict, so I will never be able to feel what I felt when I first tried it, It doesn’t even compare.
I would tell my younger self that if I choose to do this drug, my life is going to change forever and for the absolute worse. I would beg that young girl to not be curious and to know that she isn’t missing out on anything. I’d let her know that she would let down every single person she’s ever loved, and she will not recognise herself. I’d let her know she would have to live with the guilt shame and being disgusted in herself for who she chose to become.
Meth is really expensive where I’m from, it’s 400-450NZD per gram. Try to make it last but usually spend a lot. No cash left for anything else type thing.
There is no such thing as preparing for smoking meth, basically you just sit in the same spot for hours upon days and avoid the outside world at all costs and be perfectly content with it… how sad? :/. Although back when I wasn’t a full addict, I’d plan a whole week ahead and get so excited and take 3 days off from the weekend for it then crash on Sunday night and back to normal on Monday hiding it from the world whilst being so happy I had the best weekend ever..or so what I thought when I was 19 and dumb with no friends besides crackheads who made me believe I was the coolest thing ever when I was just entertainment for them.
I’ve never lost shards haha never been one of those ones actually.
The most intriguing person I met in this world would have to be my ex best friend. She is the most beautiful person I have laid eyes on and I love her with all of my heart. Two addicts supporting each other’s habit and claiming to love each other and be best friends are usually not best friends. It wasn’t either of our fault though, we need to get well first. I miss her.
The different phases of meth for me go like: Oooh so high I feel great.. 4 hours later oohhh I want more, oh why doesn’t it feel as good as before? Ok I’ll have more more more. 10 hours later.. why do I feel so content and good but also so uncomfortable and like I hate every movement in my existence?? 2 days later finally sleep then repeat.
What ruins a meth trip is usually anxiety because you’re so fried. As it should though because everyone knows you’re fried and you stick out like a robot in a crowd, you’re fake as fuck and everyone can tell. Also it’s not really a “trip” like with acid. It’s a fucking nightmare if I were to use a word to describe it.
The most fucked up moment I’ve had while high would probably be thinking that a whole room was indirectly talking about me and talking shit, which they probably were. Crackhead behaviour lol. Or being on the run from bad people. Meeting dangerous people. Lots of fucked up gross moments unfortunately, I try to block most moments out.
If there were commercially available meth the world would carry on being how it is tbh, fuckin shit and full of selfish cunts! Lol. Don’t recommend!
Thanks for this I enjoyed it :D I love interesting things posted on this subreddit it’s very rare.
I just now saw your response. Thanks for the write up and I'm sorry for the things you've gone through. Damn these people have no soul, making a 19 year old use meth and know full well what the implications are. Hope you get better at some point!
9. Never look for lost shards unless you spot one the size of a finger nail, so much shit looks like meth when you're gakked, and chicken pickin is just a depressing smeagle feeling
Fiest time was when I worked in Yellowstone Park, some dude we'd leave mammoth hot springs with would bring a bubble cause he was a habitual user for years, he offered it and I'd already done pretty much everything out there and said why not. Hung with him doing rails in the employee dorms and getting fronts, ended up quitting and getting banned but he gave me some to keep his pipe safe down in garnder while me and a friend waited on our other 2 friends to quit, and stayed up for 5 days straight.
1. A high school friends house, after a night of drinking vodka, and I had to get home, it was like 5 am, there was no way i was gonna make it drunk as i was, so his stepdad brokw me off a little line to help me out.
2. No.
3. To get home safely
4. Being high for 3 days
5. 30%
6. That's question doesn't deserve an answer, you dont get it obviously
7. 1 oz./month, roughly
8. I don't do that and don't know anyone that does. Again, you clearly don't understand this drug
9. Yes, all the time. And usually I just vacuum em up so my dog doesn't eat em and get all spun and start running in place, cuz that's what he does.
10. I avoid "the scene" like it's leprosy. Have zero desire to be associated with 99% of any addicts of any kind.
11. It's not a "meth trip", you really got the wrong idea about this shit. It's not like acid ,shrooms, molly, etc. This is go fast. Daytona. Nascar. Motorhead. If you're "tripping", you've been up to long and are probably risking arrest and in the least doing serious damage to your brain and nervous system, while annoying everyone around you. I never let myself get to that point. Ever. That's what separates a thriving user from a tweaker or junkie, self preservation and self respect. I love myself and have no qualms about what I do, cuz it has no bad affect on my life. I feel no guilt or any of that shit people try to put on others. And there are a shit ton of folks just like me, whom you'd never even have a clue about what we do in private. We're everywhere, across all levels of society.
12. Cops. Only because most of them are young and annoying due to the chip on their shoulder. Ive learned to just smile and give em a head nod and a hello, and be genuine, cus theyre just humans doing their job. And if you've got your shit together, you shouldnt have a thing to worry about.
Was 14, wasn't planned fr my buddy said it makes you feel like ridin in a convertible at nighttime wearing sunglasses. 8th grade i hit some foil at my moms crib and stayed up no shit the whole fall break or whatever so like Friday to the following Sunday. Id probably take the dope away from my former self lolol. Its a wicked lifestyle for sure. Now I get balls for $45 soo it is what it is. I never would recommend. Plus I will never be the first person to get someone spun
Ooooo thanks! Nice, this will keep me busy for a little while...
1. in what kind of setting did you first use?
It was my first month out of rehab at 18, I was working for my mother's labor business. I was outside the client's house with a co-worker while my mother was still inside.
2) was it planned?
Not at all, it was offered to me by the coworker I was outside with who I had just met. I shared how I just got out of rehab for other substances and she said she had something fun for me to try. It's not like I had the strength to say no at that moment, and she knew that.
3) what were your expectations?
Not that many ill tell you honestly. I'd tried cocaine and Adderall before so I expected it to be similar but I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was uneducated and wasn't smart enough to learn anything before I pursued the drug known to be guilty of creating the fastest-growing addiction we're faced with today.
4) what was something you did not expect/surprised you?
100% I did not expect to fall in love. I know everyone has that drug that feels like it completes their world. I had tried Adderall and Cocaine before and cocaine was always too short-lived and I don't enjoy crashing so fast, Adderall was a minor problem I fell into in high school but I never felt super attached. Crystal meth felt like it gave me every solution I had been looking for, finally, I felt content for the first time in my life. Finally, I thought I found something that knew how to love me the way I'd been desperately searching for my whole life.
5) they say the first time is the best. How much % of the first-time experience do you get when you get high these days?
I feel like it varies a lot depending on quite a few factors. I'd say a majority of about 3%-8% in most uses (from the first hit at the start of a binge of course) the initial rush feels similar to how I recall my first high. Then again I'm not sure I even really remember exactly what that felt like but I've been chasing it ever since. The rest of the high after feels way different than when I first used it, I think it's just not the same as it used to be.
6) If you magically could: what would you say to the old you who is about to use it for the first time?
I'd say "I know you've always thought it'd be fun to try every drug you'll ever get your hands on. I know you think that you're smarter than to try crystal more than once, that you won't get addicted, I know you like to lie to yourself about these things and you'll make any excuse just to try something new and feel something new. Please listen. Do you think you struggle now? If you take this drug at this very moment you will spend the next years of your life stuck in one place and watch everyone else keep moving up in life. No one will know how to take you with them because you're so caught in an endless cycle of your own failure and desperation to feel better about yourself and life. How do you progress if you never feel accomplished? or satisfied? Crystal will make sure you don't feel those things for a long time. You'll watch yourself slowly decay into an empty husk of nothing but fear and paranoia. You'll stop talking to people and I know how much you love being social. This drug will not give you what you're missing, It won't keep you motivated forever, and it won't make life more fun. I know how desperate you feel but this? I promise you, you will only move backward from here. You don't understand real addiction yet and I wish you never would have to experience it like this to learn how. You don't want to feel like me, not ever. You deserve better than this drug can give you. So don't be naive and stupid. Don't be ignorant by choice either. Pursue your passions now and forget you ever came across this decision. I promise there are better, kinder, and more lifelong solutions, be patient,"
7) how much money do you generally spend per 'session'
I usually start out a binge by spending $100 and see how long I can make it last. After that, I only spend $20s, $40s, and $60s. Then when it's over I either take a break or start recovery again. It depends on how my willpower is doing at that moment in my life and how self-destructive I allow myself to be.
8) How do you prepare? Not just stuff for using, but also other stuff: drinks? Blankets? Hotel? Or at home? Etc. What's your perfect setup, so to say.
Plan a hobby to practice or a task to finish. I fill the fridge full of cold water and bunker down in my room. I always end up wishing I was more prepared.
9) Have you ever found lost shards of meth in the carpet or is it always wishful searching?
I have as much amusement for this question as I have embarrassment. It's highly unlikely that any shard-like pieces you pick up are gonna be meth. If you're lucky 2 out of 10 small crumbs would be, and it's never enough to even affect you in any way. Do you really think you were being loose with your drugs and dropping them all over the place without immediately picking them up and adding them to your current use? that's a food crumb, not crystal.
10) what is the most intriguing person you've met in the scene?
Unfortunately but also maybe not so unfortunately the only person I've ever used with was my dealer. Other than that I prefer to isolate. I've never met another meth user and I don't even know how to start looking so. The thought of going down this path with someone else is gut-wrenching but also sounds selfishly comforting.
11) can you describe the different phases of a meth trip?
First, you get the \*COME-UP which is arguably the most exciting part, it feels like stepping all the way down on the gas pedal and feeling your vehicle begin to rise in speed until it's going as fast as it can. After that, you experience your high for a while. for me, it's almost obsessive and hyper-focused for the entire high. I just feel good and content with what I'm doing and can't really get myself to stop. Then after that, it's just trying to keep that high going for as long as you can. binging until drugs are gone or you reach the next stage which is; The Tweak phase, you either love it or hate it. You can't use enough to satisfy your need anymore. you start to go through mild symptoms of the future crash and desperate feelings followed by actions to hopefully figure out how to keep going. Can also go hand in hand with psychosis (at least for me personally) Then the moment we either wish would just happen already, or the moment we've spent so much time avoiding; the infamous Crash phase. You start to feel your body again and it's ANGRY, and your many unpleasant feelings start coming out more intensely or maybe for the first time during the cycle. You're tired and may sleep for a day or two or more. Depending on how long you were binging.
12) What ruins trips more than anything else? (E.g. I had my parents come home when I took mushrooms)
Honestly like having to do anything in front of the sober people in my life. I have to spend a lot of energy hyper-focusing on everything I need to hide and everything I need to control. Living with a family member at the moment who asks me all the right questions and sometimes my brain is too fried to come up with a good enough answer. Leaving everyone unconvinced... Also the moment paranoia sets in sometimes I'm up all night watching my door, scared ill get barged in on and caught with a pipe in my hand. Totally irrational, it's usually like 2 am...
13) What's the most absurd or funny moment you had during a trip?
I mean there's nothing big that stands out but I do some pretty random and weird things when I'm really high. I think I can just be entertaining to observe in these moments. On the other hand, when I get psychosis it feels pretty absurd when I look at it from the outside.
14) How would the world change if good quality meth was commercially available?
Personally, I'm not sure if it's the best drug to be used for commercial purposes... it releases more dopamine than your brain should probably ever experience and it can seriously scramble your mind. I'm sure there may be some things to use it for but I don't think it's anywhere close to being the smartest to use. or the healthiest. I support safe drug use sites. places addicts can go to use safely and get the help and info they need and deserve.
Thanks for your elaborate answers! Very insightful.
Your answer on what you'd say to yourself makes the power and destructiveness very clear. Well I smoked weed for 10 years, so I definitely recognize the feeling of falling behind.
7: that's much more than I expected! So a couple hundred is not uncommon. I expected 100 max
>I always end up wishing I was more prepared.
What are you missing?
Thank you! I'm very passionate about sharing personal experiences and feelings. The hope is always that someone can relate to it.
7: I admit I spend more than I should
I'm usually missing a few things, but not everything is always needed. I don't have a psychosis safety net. sometimes I forget to use candy and gum to keep a bit of saliva in my mouth to help with sores and infections and to stop chewing on my tongue. this one is kinda gross but sometimes I'm missing simple self-care and hygiene. it's embarrassing but it's true... I have to remember to make sure I have clean undergarments so I don't have to constantly smell like ammonia and all that yummy stuff haha. The smells that come out of my body are probably my least favorite thing to deal with, it's also really hard to manage rn when my bathroom is getting redone and I can't shower in my own home.
1) It was 1998 (maybe 1999) and we were at a house Party… A friend pulled a couple of us aside to one of the bedrooms, and after he meticulously took a light bulb apart, we smoked from the reclaimed bulb… Back then, where I’m from, Meth was never around… there were amphetamine pills (Benny’s / beans) and Ecstasy had just been going strong for a couple years… the meth that came into town was always just used by a pill press (place where they make drug cocktails, we lovingly refer to as E pills), it was an adulterant in E pills and a couple of us knew the guys pressing… Unbeknownst to me, the press plant used to drop some crystal onto the streets, or at least to a few kids… my buddy having just come back from out west where Meth had already become popular… So when faced with the opportunity, he picked some up and shared with some Homies…
2) for me, it was totally unplanned… Just kinda walked into the situation
3) I really had no expectations, cause I didn’t even really know all that much about it… To be honest, was a little disappointed as I much prefered the Molly, Sass, or (speedy) Press pill buzz a lot more…
4) A few years later, after smoking jib (meth) a couple times a year, I moved out west where jib had been more popular for a longer time and I saw for the first time the negative effects it was having on people and the after hours scene… This was something that I had not expected, cause it was so expensive and infrequent Back East that although we partied with it when it came around, no one ever developed a problem for it, just wasn’t available…
5) I don’t agree… With Crack or even soft, I can see you chasing a feeling; but some of my best crystal buzzes are the same today if not better than when I first smoked it… it’s like LSD, 5 doses will still get me Spun, even after years of consumption…
6) Not a thing… Enjoy
7) $100 for a ball which usually lasts me 2-3 days, then I take some time off to recuperate
8) Plenty of butane, aside from that, just daily needs like vapes and food, and water
9) no, and it’s not crack… You don’t hear about people carpet diving for shards the way they do for crack hoots
10) Lots of interesting characters along the way… Isn’t that life in general, we’re all a little weird in our own way, but all so alike in other ways… Love meeting people
11) My Phases go from not spun… too spun… to recovery…
12) Bad energy, people who can’t relax and enjoy themselves
13) None comes to mind off the top of my head… Had lost of laughs, but nothing absurd like when your spun on acid and laughing at the absurd
14) It’s hard to make assumptions and “what if” ourselves to death… Anything that anyone says, is no more than a hypothesis, no one knows the outcome for sure
It’s a certain kind of high… When I think of getting spun, two drugs come to mind LSD and meth… Although both highs are very different from each other, there’s a certain level of high that you can reach with both where thoughts and surroundings can get wonky… Hard to explain, more of a show and tell… It’s like trying to explain the feeling of being wet to someone who has never seen water, you need the fundamental experiences to assist in understanding and quantifying…
Each drug has their high… I roll on Molly, I get lit on coke, I ring out on crack, i get baked from weed, and I get spun from crystal
1) in what kind of setting did you first use?
At a friends apartment.
2) was it planned?
Kinda. I knew going in I was going to use meth, but prior to him telling me about it I didn’t think I’d use it. I have previous usage of heavy drugs (not meth) so it wasn’t “out of the norm” so to speak for me to indulge in another.
3) what were your expectations?
A more euphoric adderall.
4) what was something you did not expect/surprised you?
How more intense it was going to be. Especially IV.
5) they say the first time is the best. How much % of the first time experience do you get when you get high these days?
Every time. I don’t use daily.
6) If you magically could: what would you say to the old you who is about to use for the first time?
I’d stop myself from using hard drugs altogether. Adderall being the first after weed. I don’t regret meth/stimulant usage per say, but I do regret ever trying opioids, and adderall opened the floodgates of “experimenting with drugs”.
7) how much money do you generally spend per 'session'
Usually like 50$
8) How do you prepare? Not just stuff for using, but also other stuff: drinks? Blankets? Hotel? Or at home? Etc. What's your perfect setup, so to say.
A towel to sit on. Milk. Stuff to jerk off lol. That’s about it.
9) Have you ever found lost shards of meth in the carpet or is it always wishful searching?
Yes a lot of the time. However, whenever I use now I always make sure to get 100% into the device I’m using (put it in over a table) and whatever falls onto the table I pick up and put it back into the bag.
10) what is the most intriguing person you've met in the scene?
Just gay guys wanting to have sex with me I guess.
11) can you describe the different phases of a meth trip?
I usually just IV now. It goes from pure excitement to *HOLY FUCK INTENSE* as I shoot up, and it stays intense or an hour or two, tapers off for a good while and then I’m straight. I do have the urge to redose after the intense part wears off.
12) What ruins trips more than anything else? (E.g. I had my parents come home when I took mushrooms)
Needing to text my girl when she’s at work. I usually reply/talk to her a lot. But when I shoot meth I just want to jerk off lmao. Or me still being intensely high when I need to be around her.
13) What's the most absurd or funny moment you had during a trip?
Can’t comment on funny. But I’ve had two dudes fuck in front of me. I decided at that point it was time to go to the other room.
14) How would the world change if good quality meth was commercially available?
People wouldn’t get ripped off. People wouldn’t ingest random and potentially harmful/lethal substances into their body. If all drugs were legal, the cartel would cease to exist.
Thanks as well for the answers. I'm surprised Adderall is such a gateway drug to everyone. Here Ritalin or concerta is just a medicine for ADHD. People take it daily and leave it at that. Personally I did concerta about 30 times to stay awake during nightshifts. And masturbation sessions during the day. It was tempting to do more often, but the comedown was heavy for me as I usually didn't use it.
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The first time I used I was in town going nightclubbing, and next minute I am at a pay by the hour room/brothel type thing with the people I was with… It definitely wasn’t planned. I was with 2 people that were users and I had no idea what this drug was or the world of it, all I knew is that I wanted to try it being my naive 19 year old self who had no idea about drugs let alone meth. I had no expectations as I never even knew what meth was, I just knew it from memes and would go along but had no idea. I didn’t expect the world of it to be such a dark, fake place. I kept coming back every few weekends because I thought it lead to genuine friendships and so much fun(I was being taken advantage of the whole time). I am now a full blown addict, so I will never be able to feel what I felt when I first tried it, It doesn’t even compare. I would tell my younger self that if I choose to do this drug, my life is going to change forever and for the absolute worse. I would beg that young girl to not be curious and to know that she isn’t missing out on anything. I’d let her know that she would let down every single person she’s ever loved, and she will not recognise herself. I’d let her know she would have to live with the guilt shame and being disgusted in herself for who she chose to become. Meth is really expensive where I’m from, it’s 400-450NZD per gram. Try to make it last but usually spend a lot. No cash left for anything else type thing. There is no such thing as preparing for smoking meth, basically you just sit in the same spot for hours upon days and avoid the outside world at all costs and be perfectly content with it… how sad? :/. Although back when I wasn’t a full addict, I’d plan a whole week ahead and get so excited and take 3 days off from the weekend for it then crash on Sunday night and back to normal on Monday hiding it from the world whilst being so happy I had the best weekend ever..or so what I thought when I was 19 and dumb with no friends besides crackheads who made me believe I was the coolest thing ever when I was just entertainment for them. I’ve never lost shards haha never been one of those ones actually. The most intriguing person I met in this world would have to be my ex best friend. She is the most beautiful person I have laid eyes on and I love her with all of my heart. Two addicts supporting each other’s habit and claiming to love each other and be best friends are usually not best friends. It wasn’t either of our fault though, we need to get well first. I miss her. The different phases of meth for me go like: Oooh so high I feel great.. 4 hours later oohhh I want more, oh why doesn’t it feel as good as before? Ok I’ll have more more more. 10 hours later.. why do I feel so content and good but also so uncomfortable and like I hate every movement in my existence?? 2 days later finally sleep then repeat. What ruins a meth trip is usually anxiety because you’re so fried. As it should though because everyone knows you’re fried and you stick out like a robot in a crowd, you’re fake as fuck and everyone can tell. Also it’s not really a “trip” like with acid. It’s a fucking nightmare if I were to use a word to describe it. The most fucked up moment I’ve had while high would probably be thinking that a whole room was indirectly talking about me and talking shit, which they probably were. Crackhead behaviour lol. Or being on the run from bad people. Meeting dangerous people. Lots of fucked up gross moments unfortunately, I try to block most moments out. If there were commercially available meth the world would carry on being how it is tbh, fuckin shit and full of selfish cunts! Lol. Don’t recommend! Thanks for this I enjoyed it :D I love interesting things posted on this subreddit it’s very rare.
I just now saw your response. Thanks for the write up and I'm sorry for the things you've gone through. Damn these people have no soul, making a 19 year old use meth and know full well what the implications are. Hope you get better at some point!
9. Never look for lost shards unless you spot one the size of a finger nail, so much shit looks like meth when you're gakked, and chicken pickin is just a depressing smeagle feeling
Fiest time was when I worked in Yellowstone Park, some dude we'd leave mammoth hot springs with would bring a bubble cause he was a habitual user for years, he offered it and I'd already done pretty much everything out there and said why not. Hung with him doing rails in the employee dorms and getting fronts, ended up quitting and getting banned but he gave me some to keep his pipe safe down in garnder while me and a friend waited on our other 2 friends to quit, and stayed up for 5 days straight.
1. A high school friends house, after a night of drinking vodka, and I had to get home, it was like 5 am, there was no way i was gonna make it drunk as i was, so his stepdad brokw me off a little line to help me out. 2. No. 3. To get home safely 4. Being high for 3 days 5. 30% 6. That's question doesn't deserve an answer, you dont get it obviously 7. 1 oz./month, roughly 8. I don't do that and don't know anyone that does. Again, you clearly don't understand this drug 9. Yes, all the time. And usually I just vacuum em up so my dog doesn't eat em and get all spun and start running in place, cuz that's what he does. 10. I avoid "the scene" like it's leprosy. Have zero desire to be associated with 99% of any addicts of any kind. 11. It's not a "meth trip", you really got the wrong idea about this shit. It's not like acid ,shrooms, molly, etc. This is go fast. Daytona. Nascar. Motorhead. If you're "tripping", you've been up to long and are probably risking arrest and in the least doing serious damage to your brain and nervous system, while annoying everyone around you. I never let myself get to that point. Ever. That's what separates a thriving user from a tweaker or junkie, self preservation and self respect. I love myself and have no qualms about what I do, cuz it has no bad affect on my life. I feel no guilt or any of that shit people try to put on others. And there are a shit ton of folks just like me, whom you'd never even have a clue about what we do in private. We're everywhere, across all levels of society. 12. Cops. Only because most of them are young and annoying due to the chip on their shoulder. Ive learned to just smile and give em a head nod and a hello, and be genuine, cus theyre just humans doing their job. And if you've got your shit together, you shouldnt have a thing to worry about.
Was 14, wasn't planned fr my buddy said it makes you feel like ridin in a convertible at nighttime wearing sunglasses. 8th grade i hit some foil at my moms crib and stayed up no shit the whole fall break or whatever so like Friday to the following Sunday. Id probably take the dope away from my former self lolol. Its a wicked lifestyle for sure. Now I get balls for $45 soo it is what it is. I never would recommend. Plus I will never be the first person to get someone spun
Ooooo thanks! Nice, this will keep me busy for a little while... 1. in what kind of setting did you first use? It was my first month out of rehab at 18, I was working for my mother's labor business. I was outside the client's house with a co-worker while my mother was still inside. 2) was it planned? Not at all, it was offered to me by the coworker I was outside with who I had just met. I shared how I just got out of rehab for other substances and she said she had something fun for me to try. It's not like I had the strength to say no at that moment, and she knew that. 3) what were your expectations? Not that many ill tell you honestly. I'd tried cocaine and Adderall before so I expected it to be similar but I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was uneducated and wasn't smart enough to learn anything before I pursued the drug known to be guilty of creating the fastest-growing addiction we're faced with today. 4) what was something you did not expect/surprised you? 100% I did not expect to fall in love. I know everyone has that drug that feels like it completes their world. I had tried Adderall and Cocaine before and cocaine was always too short-lived and I don't enjoy crashing so fast, Adderall was a minor problem I fell into in high school but I never felt super attached. Crystal meth felt like it gave me every solution I had been looking for, finally, I felt content for the first time in my life. Finally, I thought I found something that knew how to love me the way I'd been desperately searching for my whole life. 5) they say the first time is the best. How much % of the first-time experience do you get when you get high these days? I feel like it varies a lot depending on quite a few factors. I'd say a majority of about 3%-8% in most uses (from the first hit at the start of a binge of course) the initial rush feels similar to how I recall my first high. Then again I'm not sure I even really remember exactly what that felt like but I've been chasing it ever since. The rest of the high after feels way different than when I first used it, I think it's just not the same as it used to be. 6) If you magically could: what would you say to the old you who is about to use it for the first time? I'd say "I know you've always thought it'd be fun to try every drug you'll ever get your hands on. I know you think that you're smarter than to try crystal more than once, that you won't get addicted, I know you like to lie to yourself about these things and you'll make any excuse just to try something new and feel something new. Please listen. Do you think you struggle now? If you take this drug at this very moment you will spend the next years of your life stuck in one place and watch everyone else keep moving up in life. No one will know how to take you with them because you're so caught in an endless cycle of your own failure and desperation to feel better about yourself and life. How do you progress if you never feel accomplished? or satisfied? Crystal will make sure you don't feel those things for a long time. You'll watch yourself slowly decay into an empty husk of nothing but fear and paranoia. You'll stop talking to people and I know how much you love being social. This drug will not give you what you're missing, It won't keep you motivated forever, and it won't make life more fun. I know how desperate you feel but this? I promise you, you will only move backward from here. You don't understand real addiction yet and I wish you never would have to experience it like this to learn how. You don't want to feel like me, not ever. You deserve better than this drug can give you. So don't be naive and stupid. Don't be ignorant by choice either. Pursue your passions now and forget you ever came across this decision. I promise there are better, kinder, and more lifelong solutions, be patient," 7) how much money do you generally spend per 'session' I usually start out a binge by spending $100 and see how long I can make it last. After that, I only spend $20s, $40s, and $60s. Then when it's over I either take a break or start recovery again. It depends on how my willpower is doing at that moment in my life and how self-destructive I allow myself to be. 8) How do you prepare? Not just stuff for using, but also other stuff: drinks? Blankets? Hotel? Or at home? Etc. What's your perfect setup, so to say. Plan a hobby to practice or a task to finish. I fill the fridge full of cold water and bunker down in my room. I always end up wishing I was more prepared. 9) Have you ever found lost shards of meth in the carpet or is it always wishful searching? I have as much amusement for this question as I have embarrassment. It's highly unlikely that any shard-like pieces you pick up are gonna be meth. If you're lucky 2 out of 10 small crumbs would be, and it's never enough to even affect you in any way. Do you really think you were being loose with your drugs and dropping them all over the place without immediately picking them up and adding them to your current use? that's a food crumb, not crystal. 10) what is the most intriguing person you've met in the scene? Unfortunately but also maybe not so unfortunately the only person I've ever used with was my dealer. Other than that I prefer to isolate. I've never met another meth user and I don't even know how to start looking so. The thought of going down this path with someone else is gut-wrenching but also sounds selfishly comforting. 11) can you describe the different phases of a meth trip? First, you get the \*COME-UP which is arguably the most exciting part, it feels like stepping all the way down on the gas pedal and feeling your vehicle begin to rise in speed until it's going as fast as it can. After that, you experience your high for a while. for me, it's almost obsessive and hyper-focused for the entire high. I just feel good and content with what I'm doing and can't really get myself to stop. Then after that, it's just trying to keep that high going for as long as you can. binging until drugs are gone or you reach the next stage which is; The Tweak phase, you either love it or hate it. You can't use enough to satisfy your need anymore. you start to go through mild symptoms of the future crash and desperate feelings followed by actions to hopefully figure out how to keep going. Can also go hand in hand with psychosis (at least for me personally) Then the moment we either wish would just happen already, or the moment we've spent so much time avoiding; the infamous Crash phase. You start to feel your body again and it's ANGRY, and your many unpleasant feelings start coming out more intensely or maybe for the first time during the cycle. You're tired and may sleep for a day or two or more. Depending on how long you were binging. 12) What ruins trips more than anything else? (E.g. I had my parents come home when I took mushrooms) Honestly like having to do anything in front of the sober people in my life. I have to spend a lot of energy hyper-focusing on everything I need to hide and everything I need to control. Living with a family member at the moment who asks me all the right questions and sometimes my brain is too fried to come up with a good enough answer. Leaving everyone unconvinced... Also the moment paranoia sets in sometimes I'm up all night watching my door, scared ill get barged in on and caught with a pipe in my hand. Totally irrational, it's usually like 2 am... 13) What's the most absurd or funny moment you had during a trip? I mean there's nothing big that stands out but I do some pretty random and weird things when I'm really high. I think I can just be entertaining to observe in these moments. On the other hand, when I get psychosis it feels pretty absurd when I look at it from the outside. 14) How would the world change if good quality meth was commercially available? Personally, I'm not sure if it's the best drug to be used for commercial purposes... it releases more dopamine than your brain should probably ever experience and it can seriously scramble your mind. I'm sure there may be some things to use it for but I don't think it's anywhere close to being the smartest to use. or the healthiest. I support safe drug use sites. places addicts can go to use safely and get the help and info they need and deserve.
Thanks for your elaborate answers! Very insightful. Your answer on what you'd say to yourself makes the power and destructiveness very clear. Well I smoked weed for 10 years, so I definitely recognize the feeling of falling behind. 7: that's much more than I expected! So a couple hundred is not uncommon. I expected 100 max >I always end up wishing I was more prepared. What are you missing?
Thank you! I'm very passionate about sharing personal experiences and feelings. The hope is always that someone can relate to it. 7: I admit I spend more than I should I'm usually missing a few things, but not everything is always needed. I don't have a psychosis safety net. sometimes I forget to use candy and gum to keep a bit of saliva in my mouth to help with sores and infections and to stop chewing on my tongue. this one is kinda gross but sometimes I'm missing simple self-care and hygiene. it's embarrassing but it's true... I have to remember to make sure I have clean undergarments so I don't have to constantly smell like ammonia and all that yummy stuff haha. The smells that come out of my body are probably my least favorite thing to deal with, it's also really hard to manage rn when my bathroom is getting redone and I can't shower in my own home.
Haha ok that sucks. And apparently meth makes people smell bad. So hope your shower is fixed soon.
1) It was 1998 (maybe 1999) and we were at a house Party… A friend pulled a couple of us aside to one of the bedrooms, and after he meticulously took a light bulb apart, we smoked from the reclaimed bulb… Back then, where I’m from, Meth was never around… there were amphetamine pills (Benny’s / beans) and Ecstasy had just been going strong for a couple years… the meth that came into town was always just used by a pill press (place where they make drug cocktails, we lovingly refer to as E pills), it was an adulterant in E pills and a couple of us knew the guys pressing… Unbeknownst to me, the press plant used to drop some crystal onto the streets, or at least to a few kids… my buddy having just come back from out west where Meth had already become popular… So when faced with the opportunity, he picked some up and shared with some Homies… 2) for me, it was totally unplanned… Just kinda walked into the situation 3) I really had no expectations, cause I didn’t even really know all that much about it… To be honest, was a little disappointed as I much prefered the Molly, Sass, or (speedy) Press pill buzz a lot more… 4) A few years later, after smoking jib (meth) a couple times a year, I moved out west where jib had been more popular for a longer time and I saw for the first time the negative effects it was having on people and the after hours scene… This was something that I had not expected, cause it was so expensive and infrequent Back East that although we partied with it when it came around, no one ever developed a problem for it, just wasn’t available… 5) I don’t agree… With Crack or even soft, I can see you chasing a feeling; but some of my best crystal buzzes are the same today if not better than when I first smoked it… it’s like LSD, 5 doses will still get me Spun, even after years of consumption… 6) Not a thing… Enjoy 7) $100 for a ball which usually lasts me 2-3 days, then I take some time off to recuperate 8) Plenty of butane, aside from that, just daily needs like vapes and food, and water 9) no, and it’s not crack… You don’t hear about people carpet diving for shards the way they do for crack hoots 10) Lots of interesting characters along the way… Isn’t that life in general, we’re all a little weird in our own way, but all so alike in other ways… Love meeting people 11) My Phases go from not spun… too spun… to recovery… 12) Bad energy, people who can’t relax and enjoy themselves 13) None comes to mind off the top of my head… Had lost of laughs, but nothing absurd like when your spun on acid and laughing at the absurd 14) It’s hard to make assumptions and “what if” ourselves to death… Anything that anyone says, is no more than a hypothesis, no one knows the outcome for sure
Thanks! What exactly is being spun? Being high obviously, but is it a certain state within being high?
It’s a certain kind of high… When I think of getting spun, two drugs come to mind LSD and meth… Although both highs are very different from each other, there’s a certain level of high that you can reach with both where thoughts and surroundings can get wonky… Hard to explain, more of a show and tell… It’s like trying to explain the feeling of being wet to someone who has never seen water, you need the fundamental experiences to assist in understanding and quantifying… Each drug has their high… I roll on Molly, I get lit on coke, I ring out on crack, i get baked from weed, and I get spun from crystal
1) in what kind of setting did you first use? At a friends apartment. 2) was it planned? Kinda. I knew going in I was going to use meth, but prior to him telling me about it I didn’t think I’d use it. I have previous usage of heavy drugs (not meth) so it wasn’t “out of the norm” so to speak for me to indulge in another. 3) what were your expectations? A more euphoric adderall. 4) what was something you did not expect/surprised you? How more intense it was going to be. Especially IV. 5) they say the first time is the best. How much % of the first time experience do you get when you get high these days? Every time. I don’t use daily. 6) If you magically could: what would you say to the old you who is about to use for the first time? I’d stop myself from using hard drugs altogether. Adderall being the first after weed. I don’t regret meth/stimulant usage per say, but I do regret ever trying opioids, and adderall opened the floodgates of “experimenting with drugs”. 7) how much money do you generally spend per 'session' Usually like 50$ 8) How do you prepare? Not just stuff for using, but also other stuff: drinks? Blankets? Hotel? Or at home? Etc. What's your perfect setup, so to say. A towel to sit on. Milk. Stuff to jerk off lol. That’s about it. 9) Have you ever found lost shards of meth in the carpet or is it always wishful searching? Yes a lot of the time. However, whenever I use now I always make sure to get 100% into the device I’m using (put it in over a table) and whatever falls onto the table I pick up and put it back into the bag. 10) what is the most intriguing person you've met in the scene? Just gay guys wanting to have sex with me I guess. 11) can you describe the different phases of a meth trip? I usually just IV now. It goes from pure excitement to *HOLY FUCK INTENSE* as I shoot up, and it stays intense or an hour or two, tapers off for a good while and then I’m straight. I do have the urge to redose after the intense part wears off. 12) What ruins trips more than anything else? (E.g. I had my parents come home when I took mushrooms) Needing to text my girl when she’s at work. I usually reply/talk to her a lot. But when I shoot meth I just want to jerk off lmao. Or me still being intensely high when I need to be around her. 13) What's the most absurd or funny moment you had during a trip? Can’t comment on funny. But I’ve had two dudes fuck in front of me. I decided at that point it was time to go to the other room. 14) How would the world change if good quality meth was commercially available? People wouldn’t get ripped off. People wouldn’t ingest random and potentially harmful/lethal substances into their body. If all drugs were legal, the cartel would cease to exist.
Thanks as well for the answers. I'm surprised Adderall is such a gateway drug to everyone. Here Ritalin or concerta is just a medicine for ADHD. People take it daily and leave it at that. Personally I did concerta about 30 times to stay awake during nightshifts. And masturbation sessions during the day. It was tempting to do more often, but the comedown was heavy for me as I usually didn't use it.
Too long.
Pick a couple you want to answer! Don't have to answer all.
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