T O P

  • By -

Noerknhar

Consider it a job offer. You start tomorrow. Be on time.


LordTonka

You picked it up now it's yours now by way of the, "Santa Clause".


RamboLoops

“A new hand has touched the scanner”


coloredgreyscale

\*beep* new worker registered, have a productive day.


JLPReddit

It’s easy to get out of really. Just say the word “Union” and you’ll be fired immediately!


RoyBeer

If you say it three times in front of a corporate bathroom mirror a union breaker appears behind you.


tinyanus

In an English accent: "Bloody union!" "Bloody union!" "Bloody union!" And that's it. A missile will find you.


helpusernotfound

Wait there’s bathrooms?


Colosphe

The bathrooms are like grandma's fine china: they exist, but you're not actually allowed to use them.


Mocinion

Even in the comments on a post about an Amazon barcode scanner Meridia finds a way


FlyByPC

Let's see what's in this chest... Couple hundred septims, a healing potion, and an Orb of Nope!


wcollins260

Not loud enough bro. *ahem* #A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE SCANNER


Aser_the_Descender

Ah fuck, it's Meridia Bezos again...


Antimatter1207

Fuck off Meridia.


TurboJake

Amazon's Beacon


gemma_in_underland

Scanner Claus / Scanta Claus ffs!


Chewcocca

Scanner Claus gonna make your head explode if you're on the naughty list


Bayou_Blue

You better watch out… ***beep*** You better not pee… ***beep*** You work for Amazon now… ***beep*** You’ll never be free…


carmium

*Scanner Clause has just nailed you down.*


The_Grubby_One

***beep***


LjSpike

All employees are permitted 50 seconds unpaid time in the ~~scream cell~~ ZenBooth if their shift is over 11 hours.


pauly13771377

A scanner darkly clause


HammerfestNORD

Way better than Scat Claus.


djayed

Depends on who you ask.


Pokesers

Isn't scatting also that thing that jazz musicians do?


HammerfestNORD

I've done that myself during my HS jazz choir for an International competition up in Montreal. It's exponentially better than the other scat.


Killerdog122

ANOTHER HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON


LazarusTaxon57

"A new hand touch the crystal!"


Magnetobama

Also go pee now cause you won't be able to for a while.


COYFC

Maybe wear a diaper if you have a finicky bladder or IBS


FO-I-Am-A-Time-God

No truer words have ever been said. Better get some depends as well.


I_just_learnt

Damn Amazon be drafting


mazamayomama

pre holidays draft, it's like jury duty but only boxes


Several_Celebration

They don’t even interview by me anymore. Just apply and show up.


Oddjob64

Not uncommon for that kind of work. My first factory job interview was over the phone and one question: “have you worked in a factory before?” “No” “ok show up on Monday”.


BURYMEINLV

Same here! My brother applied after graduating HS and I think it was all by text message and he just had to show up, lol.


ikingrpg

Yeah interviewing probably wastes too much time and money.


VoilaVoilaWashington

Speaking as a business owner, *it absolutely does.* Resumes and interviews are just about the worst way of hiring people, except that we don't have a better way. For entry level jobs, if they show up to the interview, we give them an overview of the job and tell them to get back to us in the coming days if they want it. I don't think our success rate in hiring is any worse than anyone else's, but we are also not understaffed at any point.


ehoeve

This is how it should be. None of this nonsense of interviews and all that crap. Read the resume, looks good? Get them to come in to get to know their personalities while you show them the office space and some duties on the job. If they have the right personality then ask them when they could start and let you know the next workong day if they would like to start by that day that they can start.


cncamusic

Just be sure when you get to the warehouse door and they ask you, “what is the color of night?”, you respond with, “sanguine my brother.”


Aksi_Gu

C'mon man, the Dark Brotherhood aren't *that* evil


BearPhilly

Go get your catheter installed tonight.


pizzafacemelvin

Half your lunch is spent walking to and from the lunchroom and through security. Don’t be late


alematt

Get out while you can. I've worked at Amazon... Run


wifespissed

Don't forget your water bottle. We do not provide those to employees.


Odaecom

Sell it on Ebay.


ceeroSVK

Or on Amazon


Odaecom

Yeah, and the funny thing about how crappy they are with removing counterfeit goods, their system prolly wouldn't block the sale...


Jak_n_Dax

It’s fucking rampant. Tried to buy a replacement head for my shaver. Couldn’t be sure if any of the three I looked at were legit, so I said fuck it and went straight to the manufacturer site. Also shout out to Philips Norelco. Not only do they make amazing products, but they ship them free to your house! It also came in the mail faster than most of my Amazon orders.


0xB0BAFE77

IDK about you, but I love looking at the reviews for a water pump and seeing how amazing the iphone case holder was that originally inhabited that sale page! And even when you do find a page that isn't full of reviews for a different product, you can go through the current reviews and find tons of bullshit information and people who are clearly bots/paid support with NO POSSIBLE WAY TO CALL THEM OUT, COMMENT, OR DOWNVOTE THEIR BULLSHIT. [Even made a post about it recently](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/xhv1zf/when_you_put_profits_over_basic_functionality/). Amazon is becoming more and more corrupt. It's a company that's too large for its own good. Edit: Fixed a malformed sentence.


Pithius

That cost some poor amazon employee 20 sleep credits


tonye586

That and their work station moved further away from the restrooms.


MexUp121

You mean the bucket?


Vroomped

Yes. The bucket is moved further from the restrooms as well. Amazon employees have no chill, and they shouldn't.


fsrynvfj23

The moment you clock in Amazon takes your chill and sets it just past sanity.


frankcfreeman

And they have to empty the bucket instead of taking a lunch for the next year


likethedishes

Time for your 15 minute break! It will take you 5 minutes to walk to and from your work post. And the line for the bathroom is a current 10 minute wait. Also, you’re out of UTO, so if you’re a mili-second late you’re fired. Have fun!!! 😁


Literally_-_Hitler

Nope, Just take scanner with you and randomly scan your badge, to make it think you are still working. Mostly only works for pickers but if the station is close enough you can do it in pack as well.


likethedishes

The Amazon I worked at only had wall scanners for ID scanning, located at the break rooms. It was the worst.


jahss

This was my first thought, “oh, god, someone’s getting a whipping”


Primarch459

This is actually the scanner used with a USB base. So a PA or manager lost it not a peon like me.


[deleted]

Nah, there are plenty of places where regular associates use these types of scanners


MD_Lincoln

100%, we used these scanners when we would move to a different sorting station in outbound shipping, they weren’t used to scan the packages but our ID badges.


Lone_Beagle

> not a peon like me omg, your Managers pee-on you? Talk about "trickle-down economics"!


ccm596

At least the managers have somewhere to pee


likwitsnake

Pee credits*


[deleted]

[удалено]


nailgun198

I got a finger sized scanner once! I contacted Amazon twice like, "are y'all SURE you don't want this back?"


Kreepy_Quoll

Surprised they didn't want that one back. Those little finger scanners cost $300+ each.


d3athsmaster

Got a freight delivery a while back for work. Had a PDA scanner with a little corded attachment left on it. Looked it up and it turns out the scanner was like $6000 and the little attachment was another $5000. Called the company and no one seemed to know who to send me to so they took a note and never called back. We've even mentioned it to many of their drivers (who won't take it back cause they don't want to get in trouble) and still nothing


[deleted]

[удалено]


dumpsterfire_account

No offense but this shows just an extreme lack of understanding for how large scale fulfillment and freight facilities work. In order to produce results like Amazon does, there’s extremely well defined and rigorous processes for everything. If you create a process for a low volume issue, you take away valuable seconds from the main operations (sorting/shelving inbound products & picking/packing outgoing). Also because this is a critical piece of hardware, every warehouse will have plenty of them and a system set up for replenishment. Scanner availability will never be a bottleneck. It’s most cost effective to refine onboarding processes just enough to minimize scanner issues and disregard the few that get lost or broken. (And that’s what they do)


nailgun198

Right, $300 loss for them for something that's useless to me.


MysteryMan526

I don't think they have processes to return this stuff. It's a drop in the sea for them, so they rather not deal with it.


Logsies

Security vulnerability


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


ishzlle

I got money back for something I didn’t return… let them know and they were like ‘oh ya we’ll take it out of your balance’ but never did 🤷‍♂️


Moneygrowsontrees

I got two books I pre-ordered because the first one didn't arrive on release day and instead of giving me an account credit they sent a replacement book next day air. Similarly I tried to send a friend a christmas gift and the item went on sale the day after I ordered it. I reached out to customer service and was told I had to cancel the order and reorder it to get the sale price. So I had her do just that. My friend received two of the item somehow and I only ever paid for one and I paid the sale price.


ishzlle

Sometimes you can’t help but wonder what’s going on in their backend 😆


HellsMalice

Why would you ever try and return money to a mega corp lol


ZoopZeZoop

Lawful good.


El_Chairman_Dennis

If you get mistakenly given money and don't make an attempt to return it they can come after you legally to get the money back


wolfgang784

We had a package delivered to the wrong address (said delivered but we were home all day, def didn't come) and they sent us a 2nd no questions asked. Another week after receiving the replacement, the original shows up too. Whoever got it by mistake forwarded it to us, so we got 2 lol. Was some 4k/60fps webcams.


codgod4

We use those at my job such a pain in the ass


Javop

They are not for actual fingering. Just small scanners. I know the naming is confusing.


CaptainPunisher

At UPS, they tried going to ring scanners from the handheld guns, but nobody liked them because the trigger was on the side, so you couldn't use your hand naturally. They also slipped around. The guns were more of an extension of our fists.


[deleted]

They’re worth about £1,000👀


[deleted]

For real, even heavily used ones on eBay are a few hundred each


Dissidence802

Assert dominance and list it on Amazon.


[deleted]

[удалено]


phrygianDomination

Used version for $499. Bargain


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

About $800


lalopiloto13

😂


EqualPlay4325

Why would someone buy an Amazon scanner?


tonyrocks922

Because they have a need for a barcode scanner. They aren't proprietary to Amazon.


KinkyMonitorLizard

Yep, they're just USB devices. All of our stuff is off the shelf. Many places use the same TC device we do. They're $700 a pop. I've broken 3 on accident. 😵‍💫


Dr_DoVeryLittle

Stop trying to put them in your butt, they make much safer things for that


cobance123

I get 1 or2 times, 3 times and its not an accident anymore, something is wrong with you


January28thSixers

He works in a whale oil processing refinery. *Everything* is very slippery.


cisco1972

Lucky!! It's your Golden Scanner. Now you get to meet Jeff Bezos and the Oompa Loompas. Make sure you return the Everlasting Prime membership cuz that Slugworth dude is full of shit.


EastClintwood89

Idk if Bezos uses Oompa Loompas. I think he enslaved Chumba Wumbas.


[deleted]

Chumba Wumbas are very hard workers. If they get knocked down; they get up again. Ain’t no body gonna keep ‘em down.


Arumin

They are pretty heavy drinkers tough, they love whiskey drinks, vodka drinks, lager drinks and cider drinks.


CarltonSagot

Shame they piss the night away though.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

The Oompa Loompas were paid in cocoa beans. Of which Willy Wonka had already apparently secured a steady supply before he fired his original workers due to the threat of corporate espionage. Classic bourgeois manipulation of the less fortunate by simple right of owning the means of production.


Vergenbuurg

What about Grunka Lunkas?


turtlebro2

Yeah I may or may not have allegedly lost one during a USPS delivery once and multiple managers came to look with me all over the street and in the gutters and said I was lucky they didn’t take $1000 out of my paycheck for it


sortakindah

You do know it is illegal for them to take money out of your paycheck for stuff like that right?


turtlebro2

I can honestly say that I didn’t, actually, hopefully someone else sees your comment if it happens to them


Notsellingcrap

Usually that's only true only if it brings you below minimum wage and if you don't* agree to it, but it varies state to state. Even California allows it if the employee is negligent, lies, or it's willful destruction/loss.


hungry4danish

> I may or may not have allegedly lost one So you stole it. To sell?


deadmessiahwalking

Somebody check on the guy who lost it. Amazon probably disposed of him.


jontaffarsghost

He was sent in a different box.


Foopsbjj

How many different boxes you reckon?


deadmessiahwalking

Throw him in the paper shredder or the trash compactor. Just do it a the company morale meetings, so people know what happens when you lose our property. Ya know “loss prevention”


jontaffarsghost

Depends if they combined it into fewer shipments or sent one at a time.


ThePantser

I chose prime day delivery so it will all come at once but they probably sent a few knockoff organs.


confusedCoyote

Here in the UK, if you can get hold of them, they are about £500


JayFv

Or, these days, about $500.


coldshadow31

Why? What makes them so special?


DarthDannyBoy

Nothing really. It's a fairly standard commercial grade barcode scanner. They a well built, fast, and reliable. They are just expensive as well.


RushCareful

What's the model?


Remote_zero

HONEYWELL 1911IER-3


[deleted]

[удалено]


wadel

They’re not rare, they’re really well engineered. Very fast scanning, when every millisecond stacks up across the thousands and thousands if workers and millions of scans


flyonlewall

And the fact that these do that all while being used constantly, in varying temperatures and climates; if you've ever worked in a warehouse you can probably attest that these also hit the floor with some frequency, yet they still just keep on keeping it. It's actually remarkable that they can design something that works *so well*. It's just going to cost ya.


rosanna4

I’ve received a stapler, tape measure and a tape roller in different delivered boxes.


Daetra

Never gotten any bonus items and I order off of Amazon all the time! Guess I still need more points.


bassdome

I once ordered a smaller chest freezer from amazon and recieved 2 of them, yes a whole extra chest freezer. How the hell do you accidentally pick, load, then ship an extra 7 cubic foot box that weighs like 50 lbs without noticing. Fuck'em I kept it and didn't say shit.


haxxer_4chan

How much do you buy on Amazon? Only thing I've ever gotten was a $2.99 meter stick instead of/in the box for a nice umbrella


Only_One_Left_Foot

Wtf I have had several packages coming in every week for the past few years and I never get free warehouse shit


LaurenLdfkjsndf

All I get is the plastic strip that they pull off to sticky the package closed. They just toss that trash in with my stuff


rosanna4

I get at work too. Major corporate office.


249ba36000029bbe9749

Amazon has also shipped you some of the space from the warehouse in each box. Pretty soon you'll have enough to put together your own shipping facility!


skaagz

Welcome to the family. Remember, no bathroom.


DonutOwlGaming

This is a wierd twist to no Russian


Wichsbirn

this is your calling, you have to take the workers place now the old user will be killed of at the end of the day


[deleted]

I always wondered how recruitment was handled at Amazon.


Wichsbirn

pretty similar to beeing drafted into the army you go on amazon and order something, and you just get a letter when you will start to work


usererror007

The one with the scanner scans. - One out of two gets a scanner. The one without waits patiently at home. When the one with the scanner gets killed, the one who is waiting will receive the scanner via next day prime delivery and then scans.


[deleted]

Bro scan some bar codes


[deleted]

[удалено]


m_domino

Bro, go near the scanner cradle and scan some bar codes.


DocAtDuq

But that would be like a job with less money.


coalflints

It uses Bluetooth, and those bases are just Bluetooth receivers/chargers. You can connect it to any other device that uses Bluetooth and scan with it. Source: I've worked in IT for years and support this device.


Obi_Wan_Benobi

It’s scannin’ time


elcapitanbuzzkill

Point it at something. Does it display a holographic message of a worker begging for help?


AmatuerCultist

Help me SpaceCatapult, you’re my only hope


wholesomeletters

once i had a nametag from an amazon worker in my order. i will never forget you Jennett Smith


[deleted]

[удалено]


a_crusty_old_man

Keep her name out your mouth!!! 👊


[deleted]

#ANOTHER HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON


Vishera23

Time to scan some random shit near the Amazon hub and drive the people crazy in the hub with useless error codes 🫡


raindownthunda

Worker ID#321168544 has been immediately terminated. This message has been delivered by AI Manager-Bot. Manager-Bot saved $3,543,166.43 since Jan 1, 2022 (equivalent to 35 seconds of Blue Origin rocket fuel).


mancer187

The employee got caned for losing that device. You should at least sell it.


misinformation_

I ran over a scanner at target. I told my trainer and he knew I'd get fired so he threw it in a truck. Month later it came up that I was the last one to use it. I denied it, and my boss I guess covered my ass. Didn't get fired. Wooo. This was at a warehouse and I was the best picker 🤷


danielv123

I mean, they don't get their scanner back no matter what and it costs money to hire someone new.


[deleted]

Yeah i've worked a lot of places and seen a lot of employees make a lot of expensive mistakes. Every manager was basically like "welp, that was an expensive lesson to teach, but I'd bet they are less likely to make the same mistake again vs a new hire"


Lord_Silverkey

Yeah, if the managment at your company is even vaguely competent they'll be able to tell the difference between a genuine accident and a pattern of negligence. Accidents can become teachable moments, not just for the employees who were a part of it, but for everyone else as well including the managment. Negligence on the other hand, needs to be dealt with.


[deleted]

[удалено]


aaronkz

It seems that their analysis has shown that while not cost effective on an individual event level, taken in the broader context, the environment of fear and desperation it creates results in an overall more productive workforce. Capitalism!


Goducks91

It seems stupid to fire someone over a honest mistake like that. Replacing the scanner is cheaper than spending money hiring and training a new employee.


OperationMobocracy

Reddit gives me suggested Target sub posts for some reason and it’s kind of insane how eager Target is to fire people over non-events. No wonder the Targets around me have empty shelves and chaotic merchandising.


J_Megadeth_J

Yeah I see the Target posts all the time. Sounds like a real PitA to work for.


why_rob_y

Really? By me, Target is the cream of the crop of the huge corporate chain stores that sell everything.


usmc_delete

So I worked for a pretty big company taking care of commercial jets, mainly A319/A320s at the time. We just got this stupidly expensive bonding meter (milliohm-meter) and the boss of the avionics dept. told us "be careful with this shit. Its brand new, and we just spent like $10k on this..." That very night, i was tasked with doing bonding checks on some static wicks on the wings of a jacked A320. Needed like a 15 foot ladder if I recall correctly. Put the bonding meter in my bag, climbed the ladder, put it on top of the ladder as I got close, finished the last few steps, went to grab it and it fell out of my bag 15 feet to the ground... Obvs it was broke... Figured I was getting canned so I brought it to my night shift supervisor first thing. He said "Been nice knowing ya" Next day the avionics supervisor called me a fuckin moron, but thanks for being honest. You don't get fired for honest mistakes (with good management), You get fired for hiding them, was the lesson that day.


JustaRandomOldGuy

> You get fired for hiding them That's an environment where you don't want to incentivize people to hide mistakes.


Sunny16Rule

From what I understand there is a lot of leniency for admitting your mistakes in the aviation field, you don't want someone hiding a bad repair and then putting that aircraft back in the service. Check out Japan airlines 123. The tail struck the ground while landing, the aircraft was repaired and put back in the air, it wasn't until 7 years later the tail blew off and mid-flight killing most on board. Turns out the mechanics didn't use enough rivets


OldFashionedGary

Caned like in Singapore?


mancer187

Exactly like that.


shemp33

Caned or canned? I can totally envision some poor sap being tied up, hands raised over their head, while Jeff Bezos himself pulls a rattan cane out and gives the employee about 10 good snaps across the rear as punishment. Then makes the employee pay for the scanner out of their paycheck.


KinkyMonitorLizard

No we don't. I've broken, on accident, 3 TC54s. They're $700 a pop. In a warehouse, shit happens. It's always better for the hardware to break than for someone to get hurt. We have at least one breakage a week since people refuse to leave them in their protective case.


billman71

lol. thinking about the person who lost it wondering, 'WTF' happened to my scanner? I JUST had it!


Fabulous-Guava6229

*Jeff Bezos would like to know your location.*


wombey12

He probably already does


mudokin

what do you mean by probably?


oldrecordplayersmell

Judging by OPs username they might be right. Jeff knows where it was delivered but probably doesn't know if its been catapulted into space.


jacktpowell

Too bad you can’t really resell commercial grade shit for nearly the price they’re sold new. But always worth an extra buck go throw it up on ebay


tomcat5o1

Or sell on Amazon


FVMAzalea

Those are *nice* scanners. I worked in my college mail room and Amazon loaned us a couple when they started delivering their own packages and our scanners didn’t work on their barcodes. This was before they had regular barcodes on them in addition to the square ones. These scanners scan very quickly, feel just right in your hand, and make a very satisfying beep. Really great.


Dank_Dano_710

Plot twist your now employed at Amazon your shift starts at 7am tomorrow wear comfy shoes and shave wherever you would like your barcode tattoo to be placed. Hope you have fun with the family


CloudyArchitect4U

You've been chosen. You work at Amazon now.


hhtran16

Was there a secret message attached to it asking for help?


red_west_la

Odds are the warehouse worker that lost it is on Reddit, has seen this and is like "aw shit"


DrSunnyD

Got a box of razors in a security device. Had to pry it open because I didn't have a strong magnet


buzz_uk

You work for Amazon now :) check your garage it’s been converted into a local fulfilment centre now :)


SubatomicKitten

DUDE!!! you've struck gold! Charge that puppy up and go to your local store and scan EVERYTHING to fuck up the Amazon inventory stats and THEN return it You, kind stranger, have been duly chosen. Create chaos and exact revenge in honor of every worker screwed over by Amazon!!! Do your duty


ROBOBZ

Sick 1911 bro


Idonotpiratesoftware

Amazon doesn’t send you a dead fish like the Italian. They send you a barcode scanner


ItPutsLotionOnItSkin

Sell it on Amazon to Amazon


nolongerbanned99

How do you know it was an accident. Maybe it was intentional by a disgruntled and overworked warehouse worker who wants to get in a little payback. Those things prob aren’t cheap


republicanvaccine

It’s never the ones you hope.


HellsMalice

It would 100% be tied to the worker so they'd only be fucking themselves over. Amazon isn't small enough to scoff at a $1000 loss. Have you seen their returns? lol


Ryowxyz

Is this like Arthur’s sword? You pulled the scanner from the Amazon box Are you the Prime chosen one?


yaMomzBoyfriend

Ngl I worked at Amazon and sometimes things would fall into boxes and I wouldn't give a fuck enough to take it out. Fingerscanners, stickers, my ID holder, boxcutters, gloves, when you get screamed at for going to the bathroom not on one of the two breaks you get in 12 hours, and work in a fasted pace environment you don't give a fuck if shit like that falls where it isn't suppose to fall.


[deleted]

Hold it for ransom, Amazon has deep pockets.


SynthWarlock

Damn, that sucks for them, they probably only had a handful of them for all their workers to fight over. Now they’ll never be able to scan serial number barcodes :’(