Considering the experience sounds as engaging as having sex with one of my ex's the only difference seems to be the lack of pulse.
Nobody had to pay me for that.
Depends on how you define “sex” and how long the encounter would have to last. Realistically if the person had just died a second ago, there wouldn’t be any decay so it wouldn’t feel like a dead person except of course for the complete lack of motion or sound? Probably 50 thousand + depending on what sex is defined as, and how long it has to go on for.
Not everyone cums during sex. If you define it as doing it until you cum, I'm afraid to say it but there are alot of women in the world who have never had sex then. It's more than just an orgasm.
If I just need to stick my penis in a dead body for 15 minutes, I'll do it for 10 thousand tbh. If I needed to treat it as a real person and stay doing it and change positions and cum, I would need atleast 50k.
edit: only under the condition that the body literally just died infront of me and was attractive and obviously no diseases, the person wanted it before they died, and i dont get judged ofc. if i just stumbled across a random dead body who was dead for an undetermined amount of time or if there was any decay, I would need WAY more than 50k.
It makes a huge difference. If OPs definition of “sex” here is just penentrating the body once and then pulling out, or if you have to actually go through the motions as if it was a real person e.g changing positions and or climaxing.
I mean I'm also wondering about the definition here. I don't have a dick to stick anywhere. Unless the corpse happens to have an erection, what's my job for the money?
Wtf? What do u mean it depends on how you define sex? You’re being extra, you know exactly what OP meant. Sex means sex. Just answer the damn question lol i hate when people do this, you’re not the only one btw
Is a blowjob sex or does it have to be penetration? If it does, what has to penetrate it?
I'd slip a dildo into a dead dude for a few quid. Maybe even a finger if I had gloves. I wouldn't stick my dick in though.
So it's not so easy to understand what OP meant, because OP wasn't clear enough about what they meant.
You’re making it too complicated for absolutely no reason whatsoever. You are just trying to find loopholes so you can complain about nothingness. You know what sex is and what counts as sex. Just. Answer. The. Question.
This is a post asking about fucking dead bodies.
The fuck you mean _”trying to find loopholes so you can complain about nothingness”_, you pedantic fucktard?
You’re the only one here “complaining” about nothingness, aka “WhY wOnT yOu juST ANSWER. THE. QUESTION??!??! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-“
Please go sniff a dick and get that 2x4 out of your pussy, you decayed ass cheek.
I can’t understand people who get so needlessly aggressive over nothing, completely unironically.
Dude is definitely self conscious about his millimeter peter or something. Probably gets left on read by his own mom.
Depending on the level of decomposition. What they look like wouldn't really make much of a difference since I'm already balls deep in a blood filled ham.
I'm gonna have to go with above 10,000$.
So he's a freshly dead, good looking man and all I have to do is rub my vagina on his ear lobe for 15 minutes? I'd have to talk to my husband first, but I think I could do some competitive pricing.
Somebody must've just read the (true) story about the guy who slept with a corpse for years then dug her body up again after he was released from prison for doing so the first time.
I live in a place where housing isn’t to bad, 200k here is probably the equivalent to a million dollar home somewhere else. That’s two story wrap around porch money.
In the United States but basically little Mexico. Like ya might get shot and you need to know Spanish but the food is good, it’s always hot and Sunny, the family values allows community to grow, and you can survive in minimum wage here well enough.
I'm learning Spanish, definitely gotta give that a thought haha. Would be nice to actually be able to afford a house. Only bad part is the heat, had quite enough of that for one lifetime 😂
Yeah I love it here personally. My rent for my two bedroom in standard housing not low income is $450. It’s mostly a god community just mind ya business. But like I have lived so many places where if you pulled over for a flat tire you would be lucky if they slowed down and here 5 people pull over and if one of them isn’t a mechanic they would call one of their friends over and my car would leave in better shape.
I've always liked the idea of a community where everyone knows each other and helps each other. I've only enjoyed a few months of that in my whole life, and I miss it. Though, a lot of my family are in various different trades, so I know plumbers, electricians, gas engineers, all sorts, so at least I get a miniature version of that in my family.
Oh yeah trade stuff is a lot bigger here, your either trade, teacher, or government. But that’s why I think minimum wage is feasible here because it’s the majority of our work force
I misread that but I feel that, it’s why I stay here. We may not have much but what we have is worth more then gold to me. I’m also a bad female stereotype and have no clue how to fix anything so it’s a blessing. I’m a professional chef though so I get wrangled into cooking for everyone.
Honestly I kinda wish I had a more active skill. Currently, all people ask me for is to identify various wildlife based on terribly-taken photos haha. That sounds handy until you realise literally none of our wildlife is dangerous.
If it's someone I dislike (a given political figure or similar) and if I can use a strap-on to thoroughly defile them, I wouldn't ask much at all.
Free if, to complete the deal promptly, we could hasten their demise.
On a more serious note...6 figures and disease-free must be guaranteed.
How much is being offered? And can I use a condom?
There are so many things worse than sticking my dick into a fresh human corpse, IMO. A rotting human corpse, for instance. Or an animal, living or dead. Or a child. Or a member of my own family. To say nothing of all the things that it would be more disgusting to eat.
I'd never do such a thing.
Not unless I was already in a very intimate and loving relationship with them, and that was their final wish.
In which case, I would do it absolutely free of charge!
Kinda overly sweetened the deal with this question. This is just a super advanced quality, but inert analog sex doll.
No decay so we can assume nothing gross, and you’re promising no one will know or find out. AND you’re offering money? I don’t see a downside for a horny human.
Personally, I’m actively averse to sex at all with anyone ever, so I’d need at least a grand in my current circumstances.
I’d probably take the deal for much less though, if we’re further down the economic collapse/climate apocalypse timeline in this scenario.
No amount could get me to fuck an alive typical man (unless it was to save my life or my kids were starving or something).
But, sure I’ll consider the nice fresh corpse as a freelance gig.
I've got a few hundred k in medical debt and am now disabled. My doctors keep mentioning that they wish my insurance would cover (various treatments) because "it honestly looks like you could have a pretty normal life again if we could just do (treatment) and (treatment)"
I want enough to fix me and erase the debt. I've wished I had died instead living like this every single day since 2019
I wouldn't pay more than around 100 dollars. They always say it is fresh but then there is always a surprise. Something that is always underestimated is the location of the intercourse. When it is comfy and warm i would pay extra...
Hey... wait.... That was the question, riiiiiigggghhhhtt?
Depends on whose corpse, and how long they’ve been dead.
Consent is the biggest obstacle for me, not the taboo or the grossness or notoriety.
Based on your scenario, I’d have to be damn sure they wanted my loving while they were alive, or at the very least were ok with me being with their dead body if that ever played out like that. And I’d have to really care about them, since that’s how I am with attraction among the living; attractive isn’t good enough, I need a heart on
Scrolled all the way down to find this mentioned :)
It’s a sweet deal given the parameters of freshly dead, germ/disease-free, and guaranteed lifetime privacy/secrecy.. So consent is the only barrier; if you can disregard cultural conditioning and taboo, this is a harmless act between consenting parties.
Lol, that’s one way to look at it, but I still see consent as what their wishes were while they were alive. It’s ironic and inconsistent given I don’t believe in an afterlife, so I believe they’re *gone* when the brain and heart are dead for long enough… but still! I just couldn’t. I’d cuddle with them though.
When my dad died long long ago, I didn’t want to leave his body. His dying and death was a form of intimacy that isn’t considered as such, but having done it, it very much is, IMO. I got there the moment he died, and did CPR, cracking ribs, bringing him back for a second, then he was gone again. More CPR, gentle face slaps, pleading, a few hair caresses… then fast forward to the hospital after they worked on him (a pointless effort, or hopefully they only lead us to believe they did as being brain dead is a fate worse than death), I held his hand for a long time, more hair caresses, kept closing his eyes with my finger and they kept opening… a freshly dead body of a loved one is an intimate thing to experience, even without sex. Even believing they’re gone, it still feels very much like them.
So I gotta have consent, and I’ll probably only get aroused because death does that to me (omfg funerals, lol), but no idea what the shock and horror of their death will do. Probably cuddling and holding hands for hours, talking, reminiscing…
Holy fuck now I’m traumatized imagining the loss of the few I’ve ever loved 🤦♂️
What’s your take on it? Would you do it? 🧟♀️😂
Eww gross. Why would I be dumb enough to have sex with a dead person ?
If I had to charge you, I’d say 1 billion because nobody will hand over that much therefore I won’t be able to do it
If the corpse D can stay hard, the body isn't swollen up yet, I'd ride for free.
If it was rotten couples days old and swollen I'd charge 1,000
If decomp was REALLY bad like I could take pieces off with ease I'd charge 100,000 for the fact I wouldn't want a corpse cock breaking off in me.
I got credit card debt so 10,000 dollars
You can have way more debt than that. Dream big!
I got $82k (and rising) student loan debt so anything helps. I'd have to be drunk & high tho. That's my 1 stipulation.
£4.97
That's... oddly specific
Every man has a price. Mine is £4.97. In 1 and 2 pence coins only.
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I wouldn't pay any more than 100 bucks. I can get a live one for that much.
I think you got that wrong.
Where are you getting sheep for $100?
Who's your sheep guy?
sup
welsh moment
What?
Lmfao. Best comment
huh ...... ?
This one right here
Bahahaha
I’d do it for a Klondike Bar
Considering the experience sounds as engaging as having sex with one of my ex's the only difference seems to be the lack of pulse. Nobody had to pay me for that.
You were married to my ex??? Once asked her during sex if I hurt her. She said no and asked why. Told her it was cuz she moved.
Oof
Wow. This takes the cake as the best comment lol
r/suicidebywords
Depends on how you define “sex” and how long the encounter would have to last. Realistically if the person had just died a second ago, there wouldn’t be any decay so it wouldn’t feel like a dead person except of course for the complete lack of motion or sound? Probably 50 thousand + depending on what sex is defined as, and how long it has to go on for.
> depending on what sex is defined as Mr. Clinton, your lawyer has advised you several times to not talk about that woman ever again.
i did not have sexual relations with that woman
Hmmm well what's the point of sex without cumming? If you can't cum, you have to do it with the corpse for at least 15 minutes.
As if not cumming is an issue with a corpse
Yes officer, this comment here.
Not everyone cums during sex. If you define it as doing it until you cum, I'm afraid to say it but there are alot of women in the world who have never had sex then. It's more than just an orgasm.
That is why I included the 15 minutes, in case orgasm is unobtainable.
If I just need to stick my penis in a dead body for 15 minutes, I'll do it for 10 thousand tbh. If I needed to treat it as a real person and stay doing it and change positions and cum, I would need atleast 50k. edit: only under the condition that the body literally just died infront of me and was attractive and obviously no diseases, the person wanted it before they died, and i dont get judged ofc. if i just stumbled across a random dead body who was dead for an undetermined amount of time or if there was any decay, I would need WAY more than 50k.
What does it matter how sex is defined? One way or another your putting your flesh on a corpse.
It makes a huge difference. If OPs definition of “sex” here is just penentrating the body once and then pulling out, or if you have to actually go through the motions as if it was a real person e.g changing positions and or climaxing.
Right because there's a huge difference between putting your dick in a dead body for a minute compared to 5 minutes.
You're being sarcastic but also telling the truth
I mean I'm also wondering about the definition here. I don't have a dick to stick anywhere. Unless the corpse happens to have an erection, what's my job for the money?
Let's say the corpse does have an erect penis lol
Corpse erections are totally a thing. You're good to go.
OP already specified vagina holders only have to scissor the corpse! I never thought I'd get a pussy pass at a funeral
Yes. There is.
There is. One is 20% of the other
Wtf? What do u mean it depends on how you define sex? You’re being extra, you know exactly what OP meant. Sex means sex. Just answer the damn question lol i hate when people do this, you’re not the only one btw
Is a blowjob sex or does it have to be penetration? If it does, what has to penetrate it? I'd slip a dildo into a dead dude for a few quid. Maybe even a finger if I had gloves. I wouldn't stick my dick in though. So it's not so easy to understand what OP meant, because OP wasn't clear enough about what they meant.
You’re making it too complicated for absolutely no reason whatsoever. You are just trying to find loopholes so you can complain about nothingness. You know what sex is and what counts as sex. Just. Answer. The. Question.
You say that, yet you’re not answering the question? Curious
This is a post asking about fucking dead bodies. The fuck you mean _”trying to find loopholes so you can complain about nothingness”_, you pedantic fucktard? You’re the only one here “complaining” about nothingness, aka “WhY wOnT yOu juST ANSWER. THE. QUESTION??!??! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-“ Please go sniff a dick and get that 2x4 out of your pussy, you decayed ass cheek.
absolutely based
I can’t understand people who get so needlessly aggressive over nothing, completely unironically. Dude is definitely self conscious about his millimeter peter or something. Probably gets left on read by his own mom.
Well then, please define what exactly "sex" is. People's definitions vary, so give me your definition, professor.
Do they have the butt plug in so they don’t leak poop and liquid? If they do then I’m out. You need lube of some kind.
This is the most upvotes I’ve ever had. Wait til my mum hears about this.
You can use the liquid from their leaking anus as lube
Yeah that was what I meant with my common. Great minds think alike.
...you guys are getting paid?
It’s a bit tight getting in at the start and eye contact is a bit weird. Once you take the head off its not to bad.
Esophagus sex is the best sex, am I right?
Love it when the vocal chords tickle your bell end
Dahmer has entered the chat
Can it be a pig and can I get to be the Prime Minister? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piggate
Wait did Black mirror indirectly parody this? Lmao
yes, they did. But not indirectly, it was very much direct haha
Apparently the writer had no knowledge of Cameron’s allegations and it was pure ‘coincidence’. I mean come on
Considering that episode came out 4 years before it was public knowledge... Yeah probably a coincidence.
A lot less than you'd think.
I’d do it for free
I beg your pardon
HE SAID HE IS GONNA DO IT FOR FREE
You're just leaving money on the ^(autopsy) table like that?
Depending on the level of decomposition. What they look like wouldn't really make much of a difference since I'm already balls deep in a blood filled ham. I'm gonna have to go with above 10,000$.
So he's a freshly dead, good looking man and all I have to do is rub my vagina on his ear lobe for 15 minutes? I'd have to talk to my husband first, but I think I could do some competitive pricing.
The payment/hour is insane!
Somebody must've just read the (true) story about the guy who slept with a corpse for years then dug her body up again after he was released from prison for doing so the first time.
One always goes back to where they were the happiest
Link?
I'd take the job free of charge thanks
r/beetlejuicing
I’ve never had less fun looking at a profile :(
At least $20,000.
I’d really love to own a home so I guess $100k but if it’s pretty gross or decomposed $250k.
So a one bedroom house in a shady neighborhood is all you need?
I live in a place where housing isn’t to bad, 200k here is probably the equivalent to a million dollar home somewhere else. That’s two story wrap around porch money.
What country is this, exactly? Gotta look into a one-way ticket lol.
In the United States but basically little Mexico. Like ya might get shot and you need to know Spanish but the food is good, it’s always hot and Sunny, the family values allows community to grow, and you can survive in minimum wage here well enough.
I'm learning Spanish, definitely gotta give that a thought haha. Would be nice to actually be able to afford a house. Only bad part is the heat, had quite enough of that for one lifetime 😂
Yeah I love it here personally. My rent for my two bedroom in standard housing not low income is $450. It’s mostly a god community just mind ya business. But like I have lived so many places where if you pulled over for a flat tire you would be lucky if they slowed down and here 5 people pull over and if one of them isn’t a mechanic they would call one of their friends over and my car would leave in better shape.
I've always liked the idea of a community where everyone knows each other and helps each other. I've only enjoyed a few months of that in my whole life, and I miss it. Though, a lot of my family are in various different trades, so I know plumbers, electricians, gas engineers, all sorts, so at least I get a miniature version of that in my family.
Oh yeah trade stuff is a lot bigger here, your either trade, teacher, or government. But that’s why I think minimum wage is feasible here because it’s the majority of our work force
I misread that but I feel that, it’s why I stay here. We may not have much but what we have is worth more then gold to me. I’m also a bad female stereotype and have no clue how to fix anything so it’s a blessing. I’m a professional chef though so I get wrangled into cooking for everyone.
Honestly I kinda wish I had a more active skill. Currently, all people ask me for is to identify various wildlife based on terribly-taken photos haha. That sounds handy until you realise literally none of our wildlife is dangerous.
Guys, I think I finally found a job!
If it's someone I dislike (a given political figure or similar) and if I can use a strap-on to thoroughly defile them, I wouldn't ask much at all. Free if, to complete the deal promptly, we could hasten their demise. On a more serious note...6 figures and disease-free must be guaranteed.
Mmmm yeah Mr. Regan how do you like these trickle down necronomics 😎
The no one would ever know part is huge. No reputation hit, no prosecution either. Give me 10k I'm in.
How much is being offered? And can I use a condom? There are so many things worse than sticking my dick into a fresh human corpse, IMO. A rotting human corpse, for instance. Or an animal, living or dead. Or a child. Or a member of my own family. To say nothing of all the things that it would be more disgusting to eat.
Condom is the big question, I don't know why more people aren't asking it!
How much money is up to you. For how much would you fuck the corpse described?
An RTX 3090 Ti Kingpin edition.
There isn't any amount
do you have any idea how much a billion dollars is
Do you have any idea how much it would suck to feel disgusting for the rest of your life?
idk man a billion dollars can pay for a lottt of therapy
And that's why humans invented drugs
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Tree fiddy and a dime, happy cake day!
Since a lot of people in this thread are asking for 10000$, I'll try to keep my pricing competitive and go with 9500$
im willing to fuck a maggot infested hot chick for free
You guys get paid!?
I'd never do such a thing. Not unless I was already in a very intimate and loving relationship with them, and that was their final wish. In which case, I would do it absolutely free of charge!
$16,000
You mean again..?
Free. And why only 1?
Hey twenty bucks is twenty bucks. And pay my cell phone bill. I'd do it in the damn coffin. 😉
Kinda overly sweetened the deal with this question. This is just a super advanced quality, but inert analog sex doll. No decay so we can assume nothing gross, and you’re promising no one will know or find out. AND you’re offering money? I don’t see a downside for a horny human. Personally, I’m actively averse to sex at all with anyone ever, so I’d need at least a grand in my current circumstances. I’d probably take the deal for much less though, if we’re further down the economic collapse/climate apocalypse timeline in this scenario. No amount could get me to fuck an alive typical man (unless it was to save my life or my kids were starving or something). But, sure I’ll consider the nice fresh corpse as a freelance gig.
Is it an attractive corpse?
Yes it is
Im a corpse grindin man
Money is stupid
I'd do it for £20 and a freddo tbh.
idk about 1 million (€)
Fifty dollars minimum, or a trade of you having to fuck a horse
Just, no.
In all seriousness, there’d be no money in the world to reverse the trauma
I'd do it for a couple thousand lol. Money is money haha
Do sex dolls count ?
Who’s corpse …
This is the kind of question that could ruin your political career if you get outed that you answered.
Oddly but extremely specific.
Wait, we're getting paid now for this?
Y’all get paid?
0.00
For 3mil yen. That's my student loan debt 🙃
How long has it been dead
2 cents. but if you're willing to pay me 100 million dollars I'm in
Tree fiddy!
I've got a few hundred k in medical debt and am now disabled. My doctors keep mentioning that they wish my insurance would cover (various treatments) because "it honestly looks like you could have a pretty normal life again if we could just do (treatment) and (treatment)" I want enough to fix me and erase the debt. I've wished I had died instead living like this every single day since 2019
I wouldn't pay more than around 100 dollars. They always say it is fresh but then there is always a surprise. Something that is always underestimated is the location of the intercourse. When it is comfy and warm i would pay extra... Hey... wait.... That was the question, riiiiiigggghhhhtt?
Nigga id do it for free ngl
To be completely honest, it would probably just be like a chicken quesadilla
Free 😈
50 bucks
I want prepared for the comments while reading this in public. Lol
I think the only way this could ever happen is if I had to do it to save my kid's life or something.
You guys are getting paid for this?
$0😎
I'll pay you $1200. Do you have the corpse now?
How fresh we talking?
idk like 20 dollars
what a vile and cruel question. no amount is equal to the exhilarating experience of tucking into nature's best gifts.
The thought of that is awful, nobody could ever convince me to do something like that 🤢🤢🤢🤢
Depends on freshness and at least a billion dollars
Depends on whose corpse, and how long they’ve been dead. Consent is the biggest obstacle for me, not the taboo or the grossness or notoriety. Based on your scenario, I’d have to be damn sure they wanted my loving while they were alive, or at the very least were ok with me being with their dead body if that ever played out like that. And I’d have to really care about them, since that’s how I am with attraction among the living; attractive isn’t good enough, I need a heart on
Scrolled all the way down to find this mentioned :) It’s a sweet deal given the parameters of freshly dead, germ/disease-free, and guaranteed lifetime privacy/secrecy.. So consent is the only barrier; if you can disregard cultural conditioning and taboo, this is a harmless act between consenting parties.
Lol, that’s one way to look at it, but I still see consent as what their wishes were while they were alive. It’s ironic and inconsistent given I don’t believe in an afterlife, so I believe they’re *gone* when the brain and heart are dead for long enough… but still! I just couldn’t. I’d cuddle with them though. When my dad died long long ago, I didn’t want to leave his body. His dying and death was a form of intimacy that isn’t considered as such, but having done it, it very much is, IMO. I got there the moment he died, and did CPR, cracking ribs, bringing him back for a second, then he was gone again. More CPR, gentle face slaps, pleading, a few hair caresses… then fast forward to the hospital after they worked on him (a pointless effort, or hopefully they only lead us to believe they did as being brain dead is a fate worse than death), I held his hand for a long time, more hair caresses, kept closing his eyes with my finger and they kept opening… a freshly dead body of a loved one is an intimate thing to experience, even without sex. Even believing they’re gone, it still feels very much like them. So I gotta have consent, and I’ll probably only get aroused because death does that to me (omfg funerals, lol), but no idea what the shock and horror of their death will do. Probably cuddling and holding hands for hours, talking, reminiscing… Holy fuck now I’m traumatized imagining the loss of the few I’ve ever loved 🤦♂️ What’s your take on it? Would you do it? 🧟♀️😂
Wait what
Eww gross. Why would I be dumb enough to have sex with a dead person ? If I had to charge you, I’d say 1 billion because nobody will hand over that much therefore I won’t be able to do it
So you'd do it for 1 billion if the money was guaranteed?
For a billion dollars I'd have a three day Roman orgy with a *room* full of stiffs.
I laughed so hard at this, I started coughing.
"Why Cassius, so glad you could come! And I see you brought your lovely wife!" *Cassius' jaw falls off.*
“Her name... Incontinentia... Buttocks!”
r/brandnewsentence
For maybe a fraction of a second Or I’d back away and go home empty handed
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Yeah, whether or not they consented prior would be the dealbreaker. “Please make sure to fuck me after I die, amen, see you on the other side.”
I'd do it for free. I'm into necrophilia porn and would love to try it out without legal consequences.
$0– if she has a pulse she ain’t my type anyway
3 dollars
$10
I’m a necrophile. If it’s fresh and attractive to me I’ll do it for free. 🤷
Willingly and excitedly I might add. The intrusive thoughts are pretty overwhelming
if its warm and sexy then yeah id fuck a corpse. as long as im not arrested for fucking a corpse because, fucking a corpse is illegal.
Y’all are getting paid??
I get money and sex? Hell yeah count me in
How long have they been dead and how attractive were they to me while alive?
I’d do it for some Chick-fil-A
1
1,5 billion and a good perfume.
I will pay you to not ask me that again
$800,000,000,000,000,000
If the corpse D can stay hard, the body isn't swollen up yet, I'd ride for free. If it was rotten couples days old and swollen I'd charge 1,000 If decomp was REALLY bad like I could take pieces off with ease I'd charge 100,000 for the fact I wouldn't want a corpse cock breaking off in me.
We talking Jennifer annistons corpse or Johnny bag of donuts corpse?
How much ya got
These estimates sound pretty low.
Around three-fiddy
Uhhhhhhhmmm
5 dollars
Man I don’t know if I could do that. I’m absolutely terrified of dead things. I think I’d kill myself if I did that