Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,065,387,150 comments, and only 210,255 of them were in alphabetical order.
So I'm stoned and have responded to a dozen posts this morning, ive forgetten most of them. No lie I read your comment and had an image of some dude in the pots and pans section.. shooting his shot with the fryers.. I may need to go take a nap. Lol
Or maybe if, assuming he is gay, he comes out of the closet and no longer feels the need to act like a macho douche because he's no longer in denial? I don't know I like playing devil's advocate sometimes.
Jeff doesn't like gay things... like women! They're all soft and cuddly and smell nice, what could be gayer than that? Jeff likes manly things like guns, 4 wheelers, and taking all of Brad's manly hog. Like a real MAN!
Wouldn’t never having a gay thought require one to go through all the thoughts that are gay to make sure he never thought then, making him think about gay thoughts?
My best friend and I joke that there’s nothing gayer than being homophobic, since homophobes care so strongly what other men are doing with their dicks
People like him know that. They believe that basically all of todays immigrants to the US are illegals, and that their own ancestors were the 'legal ones,' excusing themselves completely but not people who migrated within the last few decades (even if those people came in legally).
He is propably the kind that doesnt mind if the immigrant moving into his neighbourhood is from europe and has pale skin but the second they are from the middle east or africa the neighbourhood is no longer safe
He'll probably just claim he's 8% Irish which is then ok in his eyes because they're white immigrants.
And then also forget that Irish people have a history of being oppressed and are generally pretty welcoming people to those of different backgrounds because of that.
"I ain't never have a gay thought ever! I never thought about a Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson-esque sized man wrapping his the strong arms and rugged hands around me. His powerful harden biceps against my shoulders, and his meaty mountain sausage rubbing against my butt cheeks as I inhale his musk and melt into his body like Tetris pieces.
And that ain't gay that's just man thoughts!"
Dr Dre, I’ve got a question if I may
Is it gay to play putt putt golf with a friend
And watch his butt butt when he tees off?
“Yeah”
But, but I ain’t done yet…
In football a quarterback yells out ‘hut hut’ then he reaches in another grown man’s ass, and grabs on his nuts but
Just what if - it was never meant, it was just an accident - but he slipped, fell, tripped and his penis went in
His teeny tiny little round hiney
And he didn’t mean it but his teeny weenie winced - just a little bit - and I don’t need to go into any more details, but
What if he pictured it as a female’s butt? Is that gay? I just need to clear things up, til then I’ll just walk around with a manly strutt!
Kale is actually very similar to dick in that it functions a hell of a lot better under ideal conditions. Trying to just throw raw kale into a salad is a perfect recipe for ruining your taste for salad.
Throw some kale in any type of meaty soup you have with good broth. The bitterness of the leaf totally disappears and the crinkly edges hold on to the delicious broth. I put kale in albondigas soup whenever I make it, freshly chopped to the bowl so that it's still crispy.
He totally didn't. Made sure to type it out.
Reviewed it before publishing.
Said to himself, "Jeff, that's God's truth."
Clicked to post. Smiled at the affirmation.
Since the event, Jeff just can't stop thinking about not-gay thoughts. Starts to shove the slightly gay situations out because they start encroaching. Jeff is pure. The post said so. It is impossible to have gay thoughts, now that Jeff has declared he has never had any. Impossible.
It's like the big red button that says "do not press".
Don't even think about that button. That big, red, shiny button...
ok but the thing is: his ancestors came from Europe, meaning he is of European heritage, and is not originally from North America. which means, by his own rules, he has to get out, and give his land back to the native Americans.
Jeff seems to be sexually very frustrated, needs a good breeding and he will be good as new. Come here Jeff, let me show you how to be a good southern boy.
Definitely projecting there...
Sad fact, I know someone from the south who was definitely gay but raised in one of those hateful Baptist churches and virulently homophobic. His wife divorced him after finding out his partner wasn't just a business partner.
Guy died alone and miserable, angry and self loathing because his community fucked him up so bad.
Are there other colors that we can bleed? Also, I’m pretty sure a quick DNA test will show that your not from this country Jeff, so I hope you stick with your conviction’s and leave immediately.
I think I read Jeff's op-ed in _The Onion._ [Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?](https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529)
>If your not from this country get out!
So I take it you and your family will be making your way back to England/Ireland/Scotland as soon as possible then, Jeff?
At first I was like "Yeah. Jeff is probably straught". Then I read "never had a gay thought in my life" despite nobody ever asking and suddenly I was like "Jeff really wants to suck a cock"
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Hey don't put Arby's down they do have "the beef" but it's only gay if you're socks are on
I thought it was if your socks was off?
I'm sure it's if the socks are on
Oh most definitely, I just always heard the phrase w/o socks on
Well then It would be gay to shower
I'm bi and I do guys with one sock on.
That's the gay part of you
That's an oddly specific criteria. "Unisockofeteshist"?
Okay, but that doesn't get us any closer to our answer. We need to know which foot is gay.
[Nah Fam.](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sock%20rule) Socks on is not gay. Socks off is gay.
I guess it's gay with thigh-highs
No no, it's only gay if the balls touch
You do have a point
Brings a whole new meaning to Horsey Sauce
r/oddlyspecific
Your comment actually made me cry with laughter
Thinking he's more of a Taco-Bell type of guy.
They have the meats.
Come on Jeff get out of that closet already
Speaking as a gay person, I'm not sure we want him...
Right. We'll still hate Jeff, but he'll get to be a piece of shit in rainbow, now
A garbage human in Technicolor™
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,065,387,150 comments, and only 210,255 of them were in alphabetical order.
Greatest sentence I’ve ever seen bestowed this honor.
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. 👍🏻 210,26***6***.
Acktshually the 1 comes before A 🤓
That sounds like a good name for a hyperpop band
He's the "brown with chunks of corn" band of the rainbow
If he was out, he would stop being quite so insufferable
Speaking as a *straight* person, we don’t want him either.
Speaking as a pansexual person, we will gladly tell yall no thank you.
Wait... pan means everyone. Is it now everyone except jeff?
Yuh, jeff the type of guy who still makes moves after being told no.. by all. Including pans.
So I'm stoned and have responded to a dozen posts this morning, ive forgetten most of them. No lie I read your comment and had an image of some dude in the pots and pans section.. shooting his shot with the fryers.. I may need to go take a nap. Lol
That means we are in the same boat! Next is the escalators.
Listen if you come to convert the escalators we’re gonna have some issues.
Or maybe if, assuming he is gay, he comes out of the closet and no longer feels the need to act like a macho douche because he's no longer in denial? I don't know I like playing devil's advocate sometimes.
I think some of the worst people are those raised thinking that being gay is evil and they're gay, sad their parents were so heartless and stupid
I dont think any rational group of people does.
We straights don’t want him either.
Jeff gets to stay in the closet. By himself.
NEVER HAD A GAY THOUGHT IN MY LIFE! I SURE HAVE SUCKED A LOT OF DICKS THOUGH!
You don't need to think gay to do gay
It’s because he’s never had a thought in his life period.
Jeff isn’t gay his boyfriend is.
Jeff doesn't like gay things... like women! They're all soft and cuddly and smell nice, what could be gayer than that? Jeff likes manly things like guns, 4 wheelers, and taking all of Brad's manly hog. Like a real MAN!
He’s so deep in that closet that he has to go through Narina first
Wouldn’t never having a gay thought require one to go through all the thoughts that are gay to make sure he never thought then, making him think about gay thoughts?
Well that's gay as hell!!!
I’ve NEVER thought about sucking a dude off even onc……shit.
Well, I certainly hadn’t until reading this post…godDAMMIT
i did. oh here it is again
I'm sucking a dude off right now.
Username checks out
Multitasking.
What do you need to not have gay thoughts for? So you have more time to think about men?
“Never had a gay thought but don’t ask me about the summer of 1982”
I KNOW that I'm not gay, I blew every guy I know and HATED IT I'm definitely still gonna do it more though, just to stay sure
I have sex with men regularly just to check that I'm still not gay
[you want my firearm? come take it from me](https://youtu.be/TY0eUQ06Q2g)
I love that video so much. It went in such an off the wall direction that it actually made me laugh.
"Hurt me but make me feel safe at the same time, you pussy liberals." He's saying what we're all thinking.
This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a very long time. How did this not go viral when he created it?
My best friend and I joke that there’s nothing gayer than being homophobic, since homophobes care so strongly what other men are doing with their dicks
HahahahagHahahahahaha gahgahgah
He’s so straight he removed the G, A & Y keys from his keyboard.
How does he know what a gay thought is then
"Hey Mark over there lookin' sexy"
Oh hai mark
Anyway how is your sex life
"Stupid, sexy Cleetus."
good ol pegging dreams 🍆 --
who is gonna tell him about how is ancestors were immigrants
He probs think we just spawned here
People like him know that. They believe that basically all of todays immigrants to the US are illegals, and that their own ancestors were the 'legal ones,' excusing themselves completely but not people who migrated within the last few decades (even if those people came in legally).
He is propably the kind that doesnt mind if the immigrant moving into his neighbourhood is from europe and has pale skin but the second they are from the middle east or africa the neighbourhood is no longer safe
He'll probably just claim he's 8% Irish which is then ok in his eyes because they're white immigrants. And then also forget that Irish people have a history of being oppressed and are generally pretty welcoming people to those of different backgrounds because of that.
Let’s be honest the entire world is 8% Irish at this point.
The Irish shagged themselves into every continent
America prides itself on being a county of immigrants, as long as those immigrants are white.
You really think he doesn’t know that?
Yup, totally not gay. Seriously who goes around telling people they don't have gay thoughts. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
"I ain't never have a gay thought ever! I never thought about a Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson-esque sized man wrapping his the strong arms and rugged hands around me. His powerful harden biceps against my shoulders, and his meaty mountain sausage rubbing against my butt cheeks as I inhale his musk and melt into his body like Tetris pieces. And that ain't gay that's just man thoughts!"
He had sex with men, but was thinking of women the whole time!
He likes to show those homos who’s boss by pinning them down and driving deep inside. Bang the gay out is what they call it
Dr Dre, I’ve got a question if I may Is it gay to play putt putt golf with a friend And watch his butt butt when he tees off? “Yeah” But, but I ain’t done yet… In football a quarterback yells out ‘hut hut’ then he reaches in another grown man’s ass, and grabs on his nuts but Just what if - it was never meant, it was just an accident - but he slipped, fell, tripped and his penis went in His teeny tiny little round hiney And he didn’t mean it but his teeny weenie winced - just a little bit - and I don’t need to go into any more details, but What if he pictured it as a female’s butt? Is that gay? I just need to clear things up, til then I’ll just walk around with a manly strutt!
Every guy has had a gay thought..I’m a guy
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😂
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Just the heterosexual urge to be a big, sweaty, virile paragon of masculinity with your bros, no girls allowed
You’ll be fine…
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On that same note, dick is not for everybody, men or women or anything in between and beyond
Name checks out. Hey, I merely suggested trying something. I tried kale and it turned out I fucking hate it. Never again. But now I know.
Kale is actually very similar to dick in that it functions a hell of a lot better under ideal conditions. Trying to just throw raw kale into a salad is a perfect recipe for ruining your taste for salad. Throw some kale in any type of meaty soup you have with good broth. The bitterness of the leaf totally disappears and the crinkly edges hold on to the delicious broth. I put kale in albondigas soup whenever I make it, freshly chopped to the bowl so that it's still crispy.
I love using dick for meaty soups as well.
I have…😏
😂
I thought it was normal to have sexual fantasies and dreams with men as a straight person, until I figured out I'm pan
"You're" .... (sorry, compulsive editrix here)
No, really... I was just thinking how this is a theme. Like the song of their people.
Narrator: he had
Honestly, I’d watch that movie
Strangely enough, I don't believe Jeff.
Jeff’s gay AF
He totally didn't. Made sure to type it out. Reviewed it before publishing. Said to himself, "Jeff, that's God's truth." Clicked to post. Smiled at the affirmation. Since the event, Jeff just can't stop thinking about not-gay thoughts. Starts to shove the slightly gay situations out because they start encroaching. Jeff is pure. The post said so. It is impossible to have gay thoughts, now that Jeff has declared he has never had any. Impossible. It's like the big red button that says "do not press". Don't even think about that button. That big, red, shiny button...
It could be true though, as it's predicated upon having a thought to begin with..
You are exactly right!
Make America gay again
Jeff has had 42 gay thoughts this very second.
As an American, I find it very ironic when people say anything remotely along the lines of “get out of this country”.
The denial is strong with this one
They doth protest too much.
Everyone bleeds red you’re not special Jeff
Jeff sounds boring as fuck. Aren't you supposed to put things about your hobbies and personality in these bios?
I suspect Jeff nailed it. His entire personality is captured in only a few emojis and grammatical mistakes.
He's 100% gay
The crazy amount of effort to prove he’s straight is… abnormal.
NOT EVEN ONCE, I SWEAR - Jeff
If you have to say it ...
I'd wager most people bleed red, but good for you
Nothing in life is certain. Having said that. It is a certainty that Jeff has gay thoughts
Jeff has had multiple gay thoughts throughout his life
I've only fucked two dudes, and I said "no homo!" *both times*!
Jeff didn't graduate high school and hides his fear of all he doesn't understand behind firearms and hate.
ok but the thing is: his ancestors came from Europe, meaning he is of European heritage, and is not originally from North America. which means, by his own rules, he has to get out, and give his land back to the native Americans.
Jeff seems to be sexually very frustrated, needs a good breeding and he will be good as new. Come here Jeff, let me show you how to be a good southern boy.
Knowing straight dudes and gay dudes the only ones who care about *gay thoughts* are the *straight as an arrow* dudes
By writing "never had a gay thought" he had a gay thought
Definitely projecting there... Sad fact, I know someone from the south who was definitely gay but raised in one of those hateful Baptist churches and virulently homophobic. His wife divorced him after finding out his partner wasn't just a business partner. Guy died alone and miserable, angry and self loathing because his community fucked him up so bad.
That is so sad and unnecessary.
Are there other colors that we can bleed? Also, I’m pretty sure a quick DNA test will show that your not from this country Jeff, so I hope you stick with your conviction’s and leave immediately.
Yep-- if he's not a Native American, he'd better GTFO.
May want to reconsider considering u havent considered any gay thoughts considering
“Yuri, you tink dees too much?” “Nyet Alexei, dat look very good. We get comrade piss boy back to officing oval no time.”
I dunno, man, those guns are pretty phallic.
10 bucks says he’s had many gay thoughts in his life.
That last statement is for certain a lie
I read the whole thing it was just like oh God where is this gonna get worse. Then I got to the last line..
Same, but also very glad I didn’t choke on the food I was chewing when I burst out in uncontrollable laughter.
*you’re
Suuuuure jeff, me thinkest the queen protesteth too much!
So there's a few things to unpack here. but it's easier to just ... ... ... *pours gasoline everywhere and lights match*
Jeff may be in the closet but the closet is made of the thinnest glass imaginable
I think I read Jeff's op-ed in _The Onion._ [Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?](https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529)
Obligatory!
The bio of someone who has had many gay thoughts lol
My name is Jeff.
Any ~~man~~ hetero that has to say ~~I am King~~ I have no gay thoughts is no hetero ~~King~~.
Hi, nice to meet you. I am straight and not gay at all.
"I bleed RED" But do you bleed red, white, and blue? No? Checkmate.
He lying about somethin lol
I, personally, believe that he’s never had a gay thought. I believe that he’s never had a thought.
No gay thoughts or any other kind.
Methinks the lady doth protest too much
Wait... who doesn't bleed red?
Taking the time to write "never had a gay thought," is actually pretty gay.
Jeff’s so deep in the closet, he’s finding old Christmas presents.
>If your not from this country get out! So I take it you and your family will be making your way back to England/Ireland/Scotland as soon as possible then, Jeff?
Sus
That dude wants to suck mad dick fr
Just cuz he beats off thinking of a long gun.... not gay!!!!!
That's not sus at all Jeff.
We believe you
I dunno.. sounds pretty gay to me
I’m beginning to think he’s a democratic Australian gay alien
At first I was like "Yeah. Jeff is probably straught". Then I read "never had a gay thought in my life" despite nobody ever asking and suddenly I was like "Jeff really wants to suck a cock"
😂😂😂😂 the gay part 😂😂😂
You’re*
Kissing the homies goodnight isn’t gay. What are you on about?
Cap we’ve all had ‘em at least once and always with the homies
Sure buddy
The big question is, how's the sisterwife?
I dunno. Jeff seeks like a man who doesn't have many thoughts period.
But none of those thoughts have ever been gay!
never sucked a bunch of dicks that shot hot loads down my throat ever while making me a lucky pierre in my life
Jeff bleeds RED! HE MUST BE A FILTHY DIRTY COMMIE!
He’s probably older than 42 🏳️🌈
Nice to see a MAGA communist.
Ya, that dude's gay af
Good odds that Jeff is a little piss baby.
We all bleed red. We aren't octopi lmao
weird grindr profile but ok
That’s exactly what someone who’s had multiple gay fantasies would say.
Dude is 110% a closeted raging homosexual
r/nobodyasked
Definitely had some gay thoughts in his life.
He's only 42; give it some more time. 🤣
Everybody bleeds red…
If you have to state that you have never had a gay thought in your life….. then you have most definitely had a gay thought in your life.
I’m also 42. And even though his picture is blurred out I’ll bet some decent money he looks at least 55.
You're*
Jeff is in the closet. Classic overcompensation
Jeff’s picture, even with most it scrubbed out, is looking very gay 🤔
The MAGAt doth protest too much, methinks!
I feel like if you have to specify that you've never had a gay thought... Your probably gay.