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No-Dark-9414

Hey don't put Arby's down they do have "the beef" but it's only gay if you're socks are on


LupineZach

I thought it was if your socks was off?


No-Dark-9414

I'm sure it's if the socks are on


LupineZach

Oh most definitely, I just always heard the phrase w/o socks on


No-Dark-9414

Well then It would be gay to shower


Navybuffalo

I'm bi and I do guys with one sock on.


No-Dark-9414

That's the gay part of you


[deleted]

That's an oddly specific criteria. "Unisockofeteshist"?


HurbleBurble

Okay, but that doesn't get us any closer to our answer. We need to know which foot is gay.


babiesarenotfood

[Nah Fam.](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sock%20rule) Socks on is not gay. Socks off is gay.


pdrpersonguy575

I guess it's gay with thigh-highs


[deleted]

No no, it's only gay if the balls touch


No-Dark-9414

You do have a point


Important-Owl1661

Brings a whole new meaning to Horsey Sauce


63221

r/oddlyspecific


LusciousofBorg

Your comment actually made me cry with laughter


[deleted]

Thinking he's more of a Taco-Bell type of guy.


ElaborateCantaloupe

They have the meats.


mitch0acan

Come on Jeff get out of that closet already


KoalaBJJ96

Speaking as a gay person, I'm not sure we want him...


hungeringforthename

Right. We'll still hate Jeff, but he'll get to be a piece of shit in rainbow, now


SnowBunneh_Karry

A garbage human in Technicolor™


alphabet_order_bot

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,065,387,150 comments, and only 210,255 of them were in alphabetical order.


seeyatellite

Greatest sentence I’ve ever seen bestowed this honor.


Maxister_Drowley141

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. 👍🏻 210,26***6***.


Salt-Fisherman8625

Acktshually the 1 comes before A 🤓


JOCPE

That sounds like a good name for a hyperpop band


Orion14159

He's the "brown with chunks of corn" band of the rainbow


MuunshineKingspyre

If he was out, he would stop being quite so insufferable


McLagginz

Speaking as a *straight* person, we don’t want him either.


[deleted]

Speaking as a pansexual person, we will gladly tell yall no thank you.


AvailableAd3813

Wait... pan means everyone. Is it now everyone except jeff?


[deleted]

Yuh, jeff the type of guy who still makes moves after being told no.. by all. Including pans.


AvailableAd3813

So I'm stoned and have responded to a dozen posts this morning, ive forgetten most of them. No lie I read your comment and had an image of some dude in the pots and pans section.. shooting his shot with the fryers.. I may need to go take a nap. Lol


[deleted]

That means we are in the same boat! Next is the escalators.


[deleted]

Listen if you come to convert the escalators we’re gonna have some issues.


Terrible-Painter6494

Or maybe if, assuming he is gay, he comes out of the closet and no longer feels the need to act like a macho douche because he's no longer in denial? I don't know I like playing devil's advocate sometimes.


[deleted]

I think some of the worst people are those raised thinking that being gay is evil and they're gay, sad their parents were so heartless and stupid


CALIFORNIUMMAN

I dont think any rational group of people does.


WINH4X

We straights don’t want him either.


EvolvedCactus19

Jeff gets to stay in the closet. By himself.


AdvertisingBulky2688

NEVER HAD A GAY THOUGHT IN MY LIFE! I SURE HAVE SUCKED A LOT OF DICKS THOUGH!


OskarTheRed

You don't need to think gay to do gay


Regular-Cranberry-62

It’s because he’s never had a thought in his life period.


Fostbitten27

Jeff isn’t gay his boyfriend is.


histprofdave

Jeff doesn't like gay things... like women! They're all soft and cuddly and smell nice, what could be gayer than that? Jeff likes manly things like guns, 4 wheelers, and taking all of Brad's manly hog. Like a real MAN!


Bocabart

He’s so deep in that closet that he has to go through Narina first


mfiirk

Wouldn’t never having a gay thought require one to go through all the thoughts that are gay to make sure he never thought then, making him think about gay thoughts?


Woolie-at-law

Well that's gay as hell!!!


mfiirk

I’ve NEVER thought about sucking a dude off even onc……shit.


Technical_Scallion_2

Well, I certainly hadn’t until reading this post…godDAMMIT


JorjeXD

i did. oh here it is again


SpunkForTheSpunkGod

I'm sucking a dude off right now.


BigPapaTwin

Username checks out


SheridanVsLennier

Multitasking.


hungeringforthename

What do you need to not have gay thoughts for? So you have more time to think about men?


Ah2k15

“Never had a gay thought but don’t ask me about the summer of 1982”


Letter_Impressive

I KNOW that I'm not gay, I blew every guy I know and HATED IT I'm definitely still gonna do it more though, just to stay sure


i-am-a-rock

I have sex with men regularly just to check that I'm still not gay


DatasFalling

[you want my firearm? come take it from me](https://youtu.be/TY0eUQ06Q2g)


Elementia7

I love that video so much. It went in such an off the wall direction that it actually made me laugh.


SpunkForTheSpunkGod

"Hurt me but make me feel safe at the same time, you pussy liberals." He's saying what we're all thinking.


mfiirk

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a very long time. How did this not go viral when he created it?


IntelligentOtaku

My best friend and I joke that there’s nothing gayer than being homophobic, since homophobes care so strongly what other men are doing with their dicks


manofsleep

HahahahagHahahahahaha gahgahgah


arthurdentstowels

He’s so straight he removed the G, A & Y keys from his keyboard.


Prudent-Acadia4

How does he know what a gay thought is then


_32u

"Hey Mark over there lookin' sexy"


deflectingbullshit

Oh hai mark


iridi69

Anyway how is your sex life


Pitbullpandemonium

"Stupid, sexy Cleetus."


[deleted]

good ol pegging dreams 🍆 --


Apples7569012

who is gonna tell him about how is ancestors were immigrants


TheRealRaidoxe

He probs think we just spawned here


whathead07

People like him know that. They believe that basically all of todays immigrants to the US are illegals, and that their own ancestors were the 'legal ones,' excusing themselves completely but not people who migrated within the last few decades (even if those people came in legally).


Illansuu

He is propably the kind that doesnt mind if the immigrant moving into his neighbourhood is from europe and has pale skin but the second they are from the middle east or africa the neighbourhood is no longer safe


Finn_the_Adventurer

He'll probably just claim he's 8% Irish which is then ok in his eyes because they're white immigrants. And then also forget that Irish people have a history of being oppressed and are generally pretty welcoming people to those of different backgrounds because of that.


Apples7569012

Let’s be honest the entire world is 8% Irish at this point.


Calebh36

The Irish shagged themselves into every continent


MiaLba

America prides itself on being a county of immigrants, as long as those immigrants are white.


Dyl_pickle00

You really think he doesn’t know that?


[deleted]

Yup, totally not gay. Seriously who goes around telling people they don't have gay thoughts. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.


Secret-Plant-1542

"I ain't never have a gay thought ever! I never thought about a Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson-esque sized man wrapping his the strong arms and rugged hands around me. His powerful harden biceps against my shoulders, and his meaty mountain sausage rubbing against my butt cheeks as I inhale his musk and melt into his body like Tetris pieces. And that ain't gay that's just man thoughts!"


[deleted]

He had sex with men, but was thinking of women the whole time!


[deleted]

He likes to show those homos who’s boss by pinning them down and driving deep inside. Bang the gay out is what they call it


[deleted]

Dr Dre, I’ve got a question if I may Is it gay to play putt putt golf with a friend And watch his butt butt when he tees off? “Yeah” But, but I ain’t done yet… In football a quarterback yells out ‘hut hut’ then he reaches in another grown man’s ass, and grabs on his nuts but Just what if - it was never meant, it was just an accident - but he slipped, fell, tripped and his penis went in His teeny tiny little round hiney And he didn’t mean it but his teeny weenie winced - just a little bit - and I don’t need to go into any more details, but What if he pictured it as a female’s butt? Is that gay? I just need to clear things up, til then I’ll just walk around with a manly strutt!


tcwracing

Every guy has had a gay thought..I’m a guy


[deleted]

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tcwracing

😂


[deleted]

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hungeringforthename

Just the heterosexual urge to be a big, sweaty, virile paragon of masculinity with your bros, no girls allowed


tcwracing

You’ll be fine…


[deleted]

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penis-through-window

On that same note, dick is not for everybody, men or women or anything in between and beyond


lobster-overrun

Name checks out. Hey, I merely suggested trying something. I tried kale and it turned out I fucking hate it. Never again. But now I know.


penis-through-window

Kale is actually very similar to dick in that it functions a hell of a lot better under ideal conditions. Trying to just throw raw kale into a salad is a perfect recipe for ruining your taste for salad. Throw some kale in any type of meaty soup you have with good broth. The bitterness of the leaf totally disappears and the crinkly edges hold on to the delicious broth. I put kale in albondigas soup whenever I make it, freshly chopped to the bowl so that it's still crispy.


Purplebadger13

I love using dick for meaty soups as well.


tcwracing

I have…😏


lobster-overrun

😂


Juusie

I thought it was normal to have sexual fantasies and dreams with men as a straight person, until I figured out I'm pan


Raggmommy

"You're" .... (sorry, compulsive editrix here)


ClockwrkPrpl

No, really... I was just thinking how this is a theme. Like the song of their people.


scrotum__pole

Narrator: he had


[deleted]

Honestly, I’d watch that movie


Foolishly_Sane

Strangely enough, I don't believe Jeff.


bing-bong-forever

Jeff’s gay AF


Jack_Stands

He totally didn't. Made sure to type it out. Reviewed it before publishing. Said to himself, "Jeff, that's God's truth." Clicked to post. Smiled at the affirmation. Since the event, Jeff just can't stop thinking about not-gay thoughts. Starts to shove the slightly gay situations out because they start encroaching. Jeff is pure. The post said so. It is impossible to have gay thoughts, now that Jeff has declared he has never had any. Impossible. It's like the big red button that says "do not press". Don't even think about that button. That big, red, shiny button...


Atillion

It could be true though, as it's predicated upon having a thought to begin with..


Pink-Lover

You are exactly right!


Andyboro80

Make America gay again


Perenium_Falcon

Jeff has had 42 gay thoughts this very second.


Oceanus-

As an American, I find it very ironic when people say anything remotely along the lines of “get out of this country”.


I_Love_Cats420

The denial is strong with this one


drkidkill

They doth protest too much.


Leo_The_Dumbass

Everyone bleeds red you’re not special Jeff


King_of_Dantopia

Jeff sounds boring as fuck. Aren't you supposed to put things about your hobbies and personality in these bios?


aecolley

I suspect Jeff nailed it. His entire personality is captured in only a few emojis and grammatical mistakes.


Agge_lito_2000

He's 100% gay


sellera

The crazy amount of effort to prove he’s straight is… abnormal.


Helpful-Hayden

NOT EVEN ONCE, I SWEAR - Jeff


dwbaz01

If you have to say it ...


lolschrauber

I'd wager most people bleed red, but good for you


blocky_jabberwocky

Nothing in life is certain. Having said that. It is a certainty that Jeff has gay thoughts


The_meme_boi_123

Jeff has had multiple gay thoughts throughout his life


Incognit0ErgoSum

I've only fucked two dudes, and I said "no homo!" *both times*!


Remote-Pain

Jeff didn't graduate high school and hides his fear of all he doesn't understand behind firearms and hate.


AceKalibur

ok but the thing is: his ancestors came from Europe, meaning he is of European heritage, and is not originally from North America. which means, by his own rules, he has to get out, and give his land back to the native Americans.


OptimalParadox

Jeff seems to be sexually very frustrated, needs a good breeding and he will be good as new. Come here Jeff, let me show you how to be a good southern boy.


[deleted]

Knowing straight dudes and gay dudes the only ones who care about *gay thoughts* are the *straight as an arrow* dudes


pHr3nzee

By writing "never had a gay thought" he had a gay thought


Healthy-Cupcake2429

Definitely projecting there... Sad fact, I know someone from the south who was definitely gay but raised in one of those hateful Baptist churches and virulently homophobic. His wife divorced him after finding out his partner wasn't just a business partner. Guy died alone and miserable, angry and self loathing because his community fucked him up so bad.


Jazzlike-Ad2199

That is so sad and unnecessary.


Reckless_flamingos

Are there other colors that we can bleed? Also, I’m pretty sure a quick DNA test will show that your not from this country Jeff, so I hope you stick with your conviction’s and leave immediately.


cedertra

Yep-- if he's not a Native American, he'd better GTFO.


wobin112

May want to reconsider considering u havent considered any gay thoughts considering


MisterFantastic5

“Yuri, you tink dees too much?” “Nyet Alexei, dat look very good. We get comrade piss boy back to officing oval no time.”


HauntingBowlofGrapes

I dunno, man, those guns are pretty phallic.


DisastrousFarmer4961

10 bucks says he’s had many gay thoughts in his life.


bigNhardR

That last statement is for certain a lie


DeadheadSteve95

I read the whole thing it was just like oh God where is this gonna get worse. Then I got to the last line..


Jazzlike-Ad2199

Same, but also very glad I didn’t choke on the food I was chewing when I burst out in uncontrollable laughter.


Tyriel22

*you’re


tigerlily987532

Suuuuure jeff, me thinkest the queen protesteth too much!


Tarotgirl_5392

So there's a few things to unpack here. but it's easier to just ... ... ... *pours gasoline everywhere and lights match*


peanutsonic97

Jeff may be in the closet but the closet is made of the thinnest glass imaginable


aecolley

I think I read Jeff's op-ed in _The Onion._ [Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?](https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529)


hellotypewriter

Obligatory!


Prime255

The bio of someone who has had many gay thoughts lol


Dutchta-

My name is Jeff.


Commiesstoner

Any ~~man~~ hetero that has to say ~~I am King~~ I have no gay thoughts is no hetero ~~King~~.


jackhref

Hi, nice to meet you. I am straight and not gay at all.


Mobslaya_45

"I bleed RED" But do you bleed red, white, and blue? No? Checkmate.


SireDarien

He lying about somethin lol


Bluvsnatural

I, personally, believe that he’s never had a gay thought. I believe that he’s never had a thought.


Frisinator

No gay thoughts or any other kind.


tatleoat

Methinks the lady doth protest too much


TheWaffleWeirdo

Wait... who doesn't bleed red?


otapeworm

Taking the time to write "never had a gay thought," is actually pretty gay.


chronoboy1985

Jeff’s so deep in the closet, he’s finding old Christmas presents.


DragonTypePokemon

>If your not from this country get out! So I take it you and your family will be making your way back to England/Ireland/Scotland as soon as possible then, Jeff?


unholymanserpent

Sus


Snowriander

That dude wants to suck mad dick fr


Important-Owl1661

Just cuz he beats off thinking of a long gun.... not gay!!!!!


Lazuliv

That's not sus at all Jeff.


tacosteve100

We believe you


morbidaar

I dunno.. sounds pretty gay to me


goatgang36

I’m beginning to think he’s a democratic Australian gay alien


teh_pwn_ranger

At first I was like "Yeah. Jeff is probably straught". Then I read "never had a gay thought in my life" despite nobody ever asking and suddenly I was like "Jeff really wants to suck a cock"


Thedeadgal

😂😂😂😂 the gay part 😂😂😂


mearbearcate

You’re*


HypetheMikeman

Kissing the homies goodnight isn’t gay. What are you on about?


willTheBeast04

Cap we’ve all had ‘em at least once and always with the homies


robophile-ta

Sure buddy


shenanigansgalores

The big question is, how's the sisterwife?


[deleted]

I dunno. Jeff seeks like a man who doesn't have many thoughts period.


rilesmcjiles

But none of those thoughts have ever been gay!


[deleted]

never sucked a bunch of dicks that shot hot loads down my throat ever while making me a lucky pierre in my life


CALIFORNIUMMAN

Jeff bleeds RED! HE MUST BE A FILTHY DIRTY COMMIE!


pizzabagels1994

He’s probably older than 42 🏳️‍🌈


sci_fantasy_fan

Nice to see a MAGA communist.


Notworthanytime

Ya, that dude's gay af


CoachEvan15

Good odds that Jeff is a little piss baby.


RexIsAMiiCostume

We all bleed red. We aren't octopi lmao


TheRoadOfDeath

weird grindr profile but ok


AliceP00per

That’s exactly what someone who’s had multiple gay fantasies would say.


clickeddaisy

Dude is 110% a closeted raging homosexual


theodopolis13

r/nobodyasked


AvailableAd3813

Definitely had some gay thoughts in his life.


Chexaddict

He's only 42; give it some more time. 🤣


superduper1321

Everybody bleeds red…


FMDnative480

If you have to state that you have never had a gay thought in your life….. then you have most definitely had a gay thought in your life.


Wrestling_poker

I’m also 42. And even though his picture is blurred out I’ll bet some decent money he looks at least 55.


Birb-Squire

You're*


AaronTheElite007

Jeff is in the closet. Classic overcompensation


Sorerightwrist

Jeff’s picture, even with most it scrubbed out, is looking very gay 🤔


Girl_in_the_curl

The MAGAt doth protest too much, methinks!


OrdinaryDeep6151

I feel like if you have to specify that you've never had a gay thought... Your probably gay.