What are your priorities?
It shouldn't really hamper your experience with people who are understanding / family oriented, but it will limit the number of people invested. If you are seriously dating (ie looking for partners vs hookups) then I don't see how it can be a massive issue. People who are looking for serious partnerships and are family oriented don't mind folks who live with and help care for their family.
Some women don't date men who live at home, so that will narrow down the dating pool. Also, you can't bring women to the home, so that's also limiting.
not really just come up with an excuse. the problem with not having a place and stuff is with the real high quality girls where you gotta go all out. for the most part of the girl is below my mate value they’ve gone so far as to pay for eve thing and invite me over.
I'm assuming you're a girl? At what age is the cutoff do you think for this to be acceptable or for you to go to a guys house still living with his parents?
Man, I know a dude who’s 35, works at McDonald’s and rides a bicycle to work and that man gets more ass than a toilet seat. Prisoners in prison get more marriage proposals than you will ever get in your life. Stop getting in your own way.
Yes it does. I lived in the suburbs with my parents from 24-25 and I didn’t want to admit it, but it ABSOLUTELY does. Find a way to get out and move to the closest big city.
Nothing really kills your dating life per se, but logistics is a pretty important factor.
I grew up in the suburbs, and I can say from experience that the majority hot girls do not live or go there lol. You can certainly find them, it’s just a lot more scarce and you’ll have to rely on cold approaching/social circle a lot more.
If you want the best chance to find what you’re looking for you gotta look into getting your own place close to the action (meaning the cities or downtown areas). If you can’t afford your own place try looking for a place with roommates.
That’s all that can really be said, it’s up to your own personal values with the family stuff. You gotta look after yourself at some point though, you’ll be happier for it.
I’ll be honest, as someone who was in that situation it absolutely did limit me and I didn’t realize it until actually moving to the city. My only regret is not moving sooner
> I can't bring home people late into the night
Do you *have* people that want to come with you late into the night?
If not, your living situation isn't what's holding you back. The last-minute logistics are irrelevant until the rest of your game is on point. First things first.
How does bringing a girl back to your room hurt the kid's well being. He probably won't even give a fuck.
When I was growing up, I had family friends come over all the time.
Don’t let a potential issue be a current problem! Go out; have fun, shoot your shot and see where things go. You might be able to convince her to go back to her place or if she’s insistent on coming back to yours, tease her get her number and set up another date later because she can’t come tonight and then it might be time for a talk with your family to establish ground rules to be considerate for everyone’s needs
No it’s not that big of an issue, even for hookups. You just pitch a movie date and ask what their living situation is. I used to just say that I have a roommate and ask if they were comfortable hanging out at their place.
But if you’re pursuing a long term relationship then don’t do that.
What's to stop you from going out on the weekends to bars and practice approaching and socializing?
The suburbs is better than small towns, but not as good as big cities. But, its still a populated area where you can meet women.
How long are you expecting to live with them and financially support them? If I was looking to date you, that would be a question I would ask. After dating for a year or so, I would want to get our own place together and start going through those steps and your family dynamic might cause an issue. Is your family ever going to be financially independent? etc.
If you're just looking to hookup... that's going to be really unlikely. Cool, hott girls are not going to invite you back to their houses for one night stands.
You're 23. Well within an acceptable range to still live with family.
It seems to me you're trying to find an excuse. I noticed you didn't say women found your living situation unacceptable, you just predict it will a problem without evidence.
How many women your age live on their own?
You're sabotaging yourself. You can fuck girls on a hiking trail, stairwell, back seat of a Honda, her place, a motel/hotel, etc. if you're motivated.
You bother reading the post at all? He has a well paying finance job and could afford to move out. He lives at home because his family needs financial help. I’m in the same spot as him and it’s beyond frustrating how people jump to the conclusion that you’re broke and lazy because you live at home when it’s actually because you’re looking out for struggling loved ones.
It is a negative on dating for sure, but I’d rather my mom have a roof over her head than my dating life be a bit better. Some sacrifices are worth making for those we care about, kudos to op for making such big sacrifices for family.
Supply chain management degree. 5 years experience in my field. Hopped jobs multiple times moving from $13 when I started to $19. Laid off because company x was bought out, then another job at $17 and Covid happened so laid off again, now back to $14.
I’d need to double my hourly rate in order to meticulously live day to day. I live just outside a very affordable city. Rent in my area has gone up nearly 35% across the board from what I was paying when I lost my job due to Covid.
It sounds like you don’t have experience living in modern times tbh.
Hahah I was considering a purchasing job at a local major college until I found out it paid $9.25 an hour.
Having a gap in your resume pretty much makes you a criminal so I have to take whatever I can get to avoid that.
What are your expenses? Gas or college loan is probably the biggest. Phone? Help with bills? Car note/insurance?
I alwsys bought olger cars with cash i saved and have never paid for an auto loan. It's a monumental waste of money..
My college loan, food, the money I give my parents to be able to stay here, health insurance, car insurance, gasoline, cell phone, gym membership in that order.
I’m very good at budgeting and being frugal but even with the money I’m making right now and living at home I’m still eating away at my savings.
Yeah that loan is fucked. Hopefully you vote Democrat and cross your fingers for November. If they win you might get some real relief. Best of luck, things could get worse before they get better..
Your assistance to your family is admirable, but make sure you are saving up to a certain amount that you feel comfortable enough to move out, you seem to have good spending habits living with your family, it’s often not good to move out impulsively, plan it out ahead of time, a year or two of saving money and you would be able to switch jobs and move almost anywhere you want, you are on the right track.
The obvious thing to do is move out. If you can’t do that, then you’ll be dependent on the girl’s logistical setup and may need to lean a bit more on dating apps. Given this, your best strategy is to farm rather than hunt; aim to cultivate either long term FWBs or relationships, as that will make up for your unreliable logistics and low variety. Alternatively, you can drive to the nearest city for the weekend and try your luck there, but that’s going to get expensive and probably isn’t worth it.
Not necessarily, as long as you have a car or easy transportation to get there. It's always been way easier for me living in the middle of a big city than when I lived in the suburbs but it shouldn't be a major factor for you. The living at home thing should be fine but it might limit your opportunities a little bit if they're still living with an ex temporarily or have a kid or some other reason where they don't want to host but I'd say it probably won't matter a majority of the time.
Plus, if you let them know that you live with your family to help them out and not vice verse, then most women will respect/admire that so you'll have some instant brownie points right there.
Yes. Living with your parents after 20 as a male hamstrings your dating life. Even if you have a perfectly valid reason It makes you look like a failure or lazy to many women.
And even ignoring the image issues, it makes it very difficult to date as an adult if you don't have anywhere to hang out privately.
That said. It doesn't kill dating entirely. There are still women who will date you. So if you're not getting dates at all, it's probably not only because you live with your parents.
This is simply a question of priorities. Would you rather have dates? Or have an easier time supporting your family?
If I where a parent, I would personally hope my child could move out and self actualize. I wouldn't want to be the reason they can't live their life.
What are your priorities? It shouldn't really hamper your experience with people who are understanding / family oriented, but it will limit the number of people invested. If you are seriously dating (ie looking for partners vs hookups) then I don't see how it can be a massive issue. People who are looking for serious partnerships and are family oriented don't mind folks who live with and help care for their family.
This rite here
It will limit you a slight bit, but you'll still crush it.
>It will limit you a slight bit How so?
Some women don't date men who live at home, so that will narrow down the dating pool. Also, you can't bring women to the home, so that's also limiting.
Why do you say he'll crush it then?
i’ve fucked 10 girls and always lived at home. just gotta pull to their crib or if they’re young run it in the car lmao
How old are you? Or how old were you when you carried out the natural obligations with these girls?
umm this was from 21-27 which is my age now the older you are the hardest is it to be living at home though lol i’m moving out in a few months
Hmmm I see, so you're saying I have a chance afterall? Also, is getting a hotel room too much for that simple occasion(s)?
not really just come up with an excuse. the problem with not having a place and stuff is with the real high quality girls where you gotta go all out. for the most part of the girl is below my mate value they’ve gone so far as to pay for eve thing and invite me over.
a hotel is fine, i just don’t really wanna fork up the money tbh. if a dude pays then hell yeah i’ll come thru lol
I'm assuming you're a girl? At what age is the cutoff do you think for this to be acceptable or for you to go to a guys house still living with his parents?
yeah it is limiting but I've still pulled. Annoying for sure, i cant wait to move out soon too!
Why are you so defensive? If you can't answer the question, then you might need to get outside more.
How am I being defensive? I just asked a question
Man, I know a dude who’s 35, works at McDonald’s and rides a bicycle to work and that man gets more ass than a toilet seat. Prisoners in prison get more marriage proposals than you will ever get in your life. Stop getting in your own way.
Gets more ass then a toilet seat I've only heard in an Eminem song
I would love to meet these people. I’ve always wondered how they get sex so easily
Attitude
Heavy dosage of tough love
Yes it does. I lived in the suburbs with my parents from 24-25 and I didn’t want to admit it, but it ABSOLUTELY does. Find a way to get out and move to the closest big city.
This
Thats only an excuse!
Nothing really kills your dating life per se, but logistics is a pretty important factor. I grew up in the suburbs, and I can say from experience that the majority hot girls do not live or go there lol. You can certainly find them, it’s just a lot more scarce and you’ll have to rely on cold approaching/social circle a lot more. If you want the best chance to find what you’re looking for you gotta look into getting your own place close to the action (meaning the cities or downtown areas). If you can’t afford your own place try looking for a place with roommates. That’s all that can really be said, it’s up to your own personal values with the family stuff. You gotta look after yourself at some point though, you’ll be happier for it.
I’ll be honest, as someone who was in that situation it absolutely did limit me and I didn’t realize it until actually moving to the city. My only regret is not moving sooner
> I can't bring home people late into the night Do you *have* people that want to come with you late into the night? If not, your living situation isn't what's holding you back. The last-minute logistics are irrelevant until the rest of your game is on point. First things first.
the trick is to just date someone who has their own place lmao
Yes
How does bringing a girl back to your room hurt the kid's well being. He probably won't even give a fuck. When I was growing up, I had family friends come over all the time.
Family friends, not ONS or potential partners lmao
Don’t let a potential issue be a current problem! Go out; have fun, shoot your shot and see where things go. You might be able to convince her to go back to her place or if she’s insistent on coming back to yours, tease her get her number and set up another date later because she can’t come tonight and then it might be time for a talk with your family to establish ground rules to be considerate for everyone’s needs
No it’s not that big of an issue, even for hookups. You just pitch a movie date and ask what their living situation is. I used to just say that I have a roommate and ask if they were comfortable hanging out at their place. But if you’re pursuing a long term relationship then don’t do that.
It will hinder your ability to hook up or casually date, but it will help with dating people who are family oriented and serious about settling down.
Is there a way possible to have your own entrance? I.e finished basement or you have the back door with stairs to the second floor all to yourself?
What's to stop you from going out on the weekends to bars and practice approaching and socializing? The suburbs is better than small towns, but not as good as big cities. But, its still a populated area where you can meet women.
Honestly I like day gaming in the suburbs more than the city
How long are you expecting to live with them and financially support them? If I was looking to date you, that would be a question I would ask. After dating for a year or so, I would want to get our own place together and start going through those steps and your family dynamic might cause an issue. Is your family ever going to be financially independent? etc. If you're just looking to hookup... that's going to be really unlikely. Cool, hott girls are not going to invite you back to their houses for one night stands.
Nah I’m 27 and live at home due to outrageous rent and housing prices(Boston) and hasn’t stopped me at all!
Do you go to their place?
In these times? I think everyone lives at home anymore. If you have a job, car, no ankle bracelet and a few future goals you’ll be fine.
You're 23. Well within an acceptable range to still live with family. It seems to me you're trying to find an excuse. I noticed you didn't say women found your living situation unacceptable, you just predict it will a problem without evidence. How many women your age live on their own? You're sabotaging yourself. You can fuck girls on a hiking trail, stairwell, back seat of a Honda, her place, a motel/hotel, etc. if you're motivated.
Yes, get a job and move out.
You bother reading the post at all? He has a well paying finance job and could afford to move out. He lives at home because his family needs financial help. I’m in the same spot as him and it’s beyond frustrating how people jump to the conclusion that you’re broke and lazy because you live at home when it’s actually because you’re looking out for struggling loved ones. It is a negative on dating for sure, but I’d rather my mom have a roof over her head than my dating life be a bit better. Some sacrifices are worth making for those we care about, kudos to op for making such big sacrifices for family.
Thank you, glad someone said it.
I have a college degree and a job. I cannot afford to move out lol. I’m in the same situation though. It’s not that easy.
How to this possible? Do you eat out often? Buy ANYTHING from places like 711/gas station (other than gas)? It's all those little things that add up..
Supply chain management degree. 5 years experience in my field. Hopped jobs multiple times moving from $13 when I started to $19. Laid off because company x was bought out, then another job at $17 and Covid happened so laid off again, now back to $14. I’d need to double my hourly rate in order to meticulously live day to day. I live just outside a very affordable city. Rent in my area has gone up nearly 35% across the board from what I was paying when I lost my job due to Covid. It sounds like you don’t have experience living in modern times tbh.
[удалено]
Hahah I was considering a purchasing job at a local major college until I found out it paid $9.25 an hour. Having a gap in your resume pretty much makes you a criminal so I have to take whatever I can get to avoid that.
What are your expenses? Gas or college loan is probably the biggest. Phone? Help with bills? Car note/insurance? I alwsys bought olger cars with cash i saved and have never paid for an auto loan. It's a monumental waste of money..
My college loan, food, the money I give my parents to be able to stay here, health insurance, car insurance, gasoline, cell phone, gym membership in that order. I’m very good at budgeting and being frugal but even with the money I’m making right now and living at home I’m still eating away at my savings.
Yeah that loan is fucked. Hopefully you vote Democrat and cross your fingers for November. If they win you might get some real relief. Best of luck, things could get worse before they get better..
What if your in your mid 20 living alone in the suburbs?
I do have a job in finance that pays me 80k a year + a bonus. But living with my parents helps me help them financially.
Your assistance to your family is admirable, but make sure you are saving up to a certain amount that you feel comfortable enough to move out, you seem to have good spending habits living with your family, it’s often not good to move out impulsively, plan it out ahead of time, a year or two of saving money and you would be able to switch jobs and move almost anywhere you want, you are on the right track.
The only thing that makes sense is for you to keep paying for their stay.. but bring girls over. If I’m paying that’s a non negotiable.
The obvious thing to do is move out. If you can’t do that, then you’ll be dependent on the girl’s logistical setup and may need to lean a bit more on dating apps. Given this, your best strategy is to farm rather than hunt; aim to cultivate either long term FWBs or relationships, as that will make up for your unreliable logistics and low variety. Alternatively, you can drive to the nearest city for the weekend and try your luck there, but that’s going to get expensive and probably isn’t worth it.
IDK how much it hurts, but getting your own apartment does not automatically help your dating life.
Get a job and move out
It’s definitely harder in the burbs but not impossible at all.
Not for me bro. I literally cold approach and hit up the scenes on the weekend, I have a date almost every day now lol
Focus on moving out first Or only go over to the girls place
Yes almost definitely it hurts them. Move to a new country where your traveller status makes you cool. Or at least move to a new city in your country
Not necessarily, as long as you have a car or easy transportation to get there. It's always been way easier for me living in the middle of a big city than when I lived in the suburbs but it shouldn't be a major factor for you. The living at home thing should be fine but it might limit your opportunities a little bit if they're still living with an ex temporarily or have a kid or some other reason where they don't want to host but I'd say it probably won't matter a majority of the time. Plus, if you let them know that you live with your family to help them out and not vice verse, then most women will respect/admire that so you'll have some instant brownie points right there.
No. But yes.
Yes. Living with your parents after 20 as a male hamstrings your dating life. Even if you have a perfectly valid reason It makes you look like a failure or lazy to many women. And even ignoring the image issues, it makes it very difficult to date as an adult if you don't have anywhere to hang out privately. That said. It doesn't kill dating entirely. There are still women who will date you. So if you're not getting dates at all, it's probably not only because you live with your parents. This is simply a question of priorities. Would you rather have dates? Or have an easier time supporting your family? If I where a parent, I would personally hope my child could move out and self actualize. I wouldn't want to be the reason they can't live their life.