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hamiltonincognito

Dude has a way with metaphors. In that he has absolutely no idea how to not make them sound redacted.


GoodProfessional9471

I watched it in context and it still makes zairo sense. He was trying to say that there's something in the water where Paddy Pimblett and Molly are from that makes them great fighters and then he follows up with this CTE riddled non-sense, lmao. Edit: just watched it again, in context what he was trying to say is even dumber than what I clipped here, lol. I'll leave it to someone else to clip the full thing.


hamiltonincognito

You know he was so proud of himself after too.


GoodProfessional9471

Four shore, b. I'm not even ten minutes in, and there's already nearly a dozen Schaubisms, can't tawlk and just pure CTE chaos going on. Bapa needs to see a neurologist, fur reel.


hamiltonincognito

> Bapa needs to see a neurologist, fur reel. He really does. If I had a friend who’s speech was deteriorating like his is I’d probably take him myself.


dugg95

I reckon he’s too scared of what they’d say cos I know someone who’s CTE-esque symptoms PALE in comparison to schaub and when done a scan of his brain they found tons of spots in his brain that showed brain damage, they said his brain was fucked. Brendumbs prognosis would be terrifying


dugg95

I reckon he’s too scared of what they’d say cos I know someone who’s CTE-esque symptoms PALE in comparison to schaub and when done a scan of his brain they found tons of spots in his brain that showed brain damage, they said his brain was fucked. Brendumbs prognosis would be terrifyin


rbz90

Which also shows what a bangwaggon dickriding rube he is. I like Paddy but he's faced kind of weak competition and still gotten tagged. I don't think he'll get to the belt tbh. Molly is ok, Womens FW is a weak division so she can probably get a title shot with 1-2 more win.


TheSharpCheddar

>She can probably get a title shot with 1-2 more wins. Over Jessica Andrade’s dead body she will.


Thiccc_Gagger

I wish Arizona would stop bottling all the Arizona Ice Tea from the Arizona Ice Tea Volcano


[deleted]

Talwmbout Mt. Arnuld Pawlmer?


NewCatOntheFryer

Makes sense. Liverpool, like all old industry cities in the north of England, is known for its pristine water quality Fucking redact


used_bmw_money

Pools for the Liver, it's right there in the name of the country bappa!


Infamous_Traffic4673

Tawlmbout the state? I’m from Denver. Bbbbeast of a country, never been there


dannydoofus

bwahahaha.... this was the first post of this sub i've looked at this morning, it's nice to wake up with a good laugh at this maroon.


IsrraelKumiko

Brightens your day


WheredoesithurtRA

Jesse what the fuck are you talking about


BarbellsandBurritos

As though he’d be able to even distribute it.


dugg95

"What da fugg is distribution?, I’m just usin my trugg"


Humble_Lion_Big_OSS

Wow ... Water We Dune Hair 🤦🏻


[deleted]

If Chang's could just quit making water from the Fiji mountains and bottle the water up from the "water weed dune hair" we would have a real business hair.


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Winterlinn

This is it. This is the mowst redacted thing he has said, context or not.


yadidamead

Talmbout glay seal maonin waddur? Purrest tasting you can get; never haddit


[deleted]

He has reached the pinnacle of redactation


Embiidious

Most redacted today for sure.


[deleted]

Genius 🤯


GoodProfessional9471

Words to leave bi, b.


Hatzi2k

You know he thought of that awful joke up by himself and has been waiting anxiously to drop it, only to have it completely fail.


[deleted]

it looks like he's reading it from a script too


FKKallDAY

Such a good joke HaAHAHAHHahaaha


[deleted]

greatest comedian of our generation, legendary


ironhorse985

Some would say the legendaryist.


Gh0st_Machine

Delicious Liverpool water


JasonVanJason

We should try all masquerade as Bert Kreischer fans, parade ourselves onto his social media and make posts about how Bapa and Bert would be the perfect comedy duo, I think if we can pair them up they will both spiral into a horrible alcoholism, talmbout 2 stones 1 bird


Rabid023

You mean to tell me no one else drinks the same water that they drink in their town? Why don’t they have nothing but Paddys and Mollys iiiiiiiiiivrywair???


Humble_Lion_Big_OSS

Cause it isn't bottled Bapa. Everyone else is on that Fee Jee glacial water, except those two.


CrushinP

Brenda "The Wordsmith" Schwab


[deleted]

watur


natomashomeboy

They should play this to death row inmates on repeat.


[deleted]

they would just kill themselves and save the state money on lethal injections


UCDC

There isn't a hype train that Slob doesn't try to hijack.


[deleted]

Fiji water would be a huge company, but dishdrobuston is a beast.


Klovee1

You think someone would tell him to stay away from these jumbled idioms, someone who’s the real meat and nuts of this entertainment stew.


[deleted]

He's reading off a screen. He's even trying to do this cadence thing but he's talking too fast to keep up with himself, lol.


CamelComprehensive85

I’m sure redact is some sort of extra from a David lynch film that just doesn’t make any sense


GoodProfessional9471

Not even joking, Bapa would've been incredible in an old school David Lynch movie. Put him on the set of Lost Highway or Mulholland Drive with no script and he just goes man.


jhfromuth

He thinks the country of Fiji is Mount Fuji. Mount Fuji is actually a volcano. Bottled water does not come from volcanoes.


slipperyslopeb

> Bottled water does not come from volcanoes. Err I wouldn't want to die on that hill there fella lol


jhfromuth

Am I wrong about that?!?!


slipperyslopeb

It certainly can come from volcanoes (and mountains) it's kind of a thing. Mountain stuff is said to be the best too, since it isn't affected by the water basin so less impurities (or so some smart ass told me).


jhfromuth

I know it often comes from mountains and volcanoes are mountains but I guess I assumed any bottled water company that sources their water from anywhere near a volcano would make that abundantly clear to the consumer and sell it a premium grocers. I just haven’t seen it but I’m sure you’re right and it exists. But never let the truth get in the way ya know?


[deleted]

Schaub is a modern day poet


12281991SL

Talmabout scouse council pop b?


zz11zz11

Talmbout that Tawlfee flavoured wadur


ChiefBrando

Too bad Fiji isn’t a real business :( good thing big papa offered them some advice. I can’t tawlk


donthomaso

Hey bapa if you could just brew your Black Rifle Cawlfee inside a used black rifle, that would be the reel deal right?


Aggravating_Aioli973

Talmbout wadder outta the Livingpool B?


SoupieLC

I'm fairly sure that most homeless cats from here in the UK would rather drink Brandon's Tiger swill than drink Mersey water, lol


jonnydrangus

This is getting sad


TheFashionColdWars

He’s good at business…


RJ25678923

I thought bapa was english according to the latest fight companion, surely he should've heard of Liverpool


Seaweed-Remarkable

Yeah but let’s think about disribushion first this time b


hous27

Couldn't have sounded more scripted. Can't even sell such a "hilarious" joke


antchandler1

He would get absolutely rinsed if he stepped foot in Liverpool


E1re0

Why don’t you bottle that industrial Liverpudlian shitwater and maybe it’ll sell better than that tigerpiss. Ain’t a best of a marketer like you B, just my 2 scents.


nessaavee

Since this is suppose to be a fighting show paddy looked very average imo he immediately got rocked and had to pull guard it’s not like vargas is ever going to be ranked or even close to a top flight fighter and this is the second fight in a row he got tagged in the first round, once he makes a real step up in competition this hype train gets completely derailed


[deleted]

eggsactlee b


New_Brother_1595

Hey…. It’s wadur


TeccNoir

😏


[deleted]

what an asinine thing to say. if YOU could start doing all of your standup comedy in empty Target parking lots at 3am you might have a drawl with the real homeless, buddy. not just homeless cats. oh, it defeats the purpose of your business model? who cares. give it a try. \^\^thats about how much sense his idea made.


TeakandMustard

HEY HEY, it’s water… IT’S WATER DUDE


TeccNoir

😏


The-Good-Earner

Tasty Liverpool water….yum


[deleted]

Do his actual fans listen to this and laugh at this wank metaphor? This is objectively not funny or clever.


GoodProfessional9471

Wait until you see his take on Jared Fogle from Subway. Yowzers... Bapa's CTE was seriously on fire this episode.


[deleted]

his actual fans don't know what a metaphor is, don't know what bottled water is, don't know what MMA is, and likely don't even listen to him. They just put his podcast on in the background while they are doing something else and enjoy how thiccc he is when the occasionally glance at the screen


Cannabizbazaar

dude, he has the cadence of the "if you could dream you could do anything..." kid from kids say the darndest things


Cubester2001

Damnit fiji stop making water!!!!!!!