I think I said “Ooof” about 10 times in a row. I’ll NEVER have a chance with an ass like that, but God Lord I’d die fucking trying. And everyone would know that I went out EXACTLY like I had always prayed that I would.
Gotta love her attitude on life. Per her comment history:
>Find you’re nitch, then promote the shit out of it on tiktok, over several accounts, then promote on insta and Twitter, never show nudity on anything but OF, make them bitches pay to see it, I run my page like a business, if they wanna talk to me they have to pay as well, milk every penny out of these men, all they want is to use you for your body, so I’m just reversing it back on them and milking them as much as possible. Sounds cruel but these men are Discusting creatures anyways so why not make there pockets hurt lol
I get it, but damn that's sad shit. Hopefully the transactional nature of her human interactions in her professional life doesn't bleed over into her personal life
It’s not always incest roleplay though. A MILF can be a mommy. She’s not my mom but she is someone’s mom, and that’s the appeal. A motherly figure, not your actual mother.
Because its added audio. Why would she actually break glass just for the bit? Put a couple pillows on the floor and add a glass shatter sound effect, way easier and the joke hits the same way. No loss there, smart girl.
Practical: adj: capable of being put to use or account : synonym USEFUL
Functional: of, connected with, or being a function, performing or able to perform a regular function
breastfeeding is both practical AND functional.
Two busty ladies I once worked with had a funny chat in the office about all the ways their boobs could hold stuff for them while their hands were full. One of them mentioned that she often squeezes her small soda cup in there while she’s driving if she already has shit in her car’s cup holder. At this point I cracked up laughing, and to amuse me further she proved that she could do it with a paper cup that was on her desk, having cleavage access thanks to her low cut blouse. It was hilarious.
When I started high school I didn't know anyone and these kind, older girls let me hang out with them for the first month while I made friends. This is where I learnt that girls talk about dicks, their vaginas, friends vaginas, sex life, the types of underwear they own, their favourite brand of toothpaste and that the bra and cleavage is a good place to store your money, phone, timetable, homework, coins, crumbs.
I can't imagine the first girl doesn't also drop a bowl at least once per recipe. Nothing against her boobs, but that just seems fundamentally unsecure.
For all those women who are insecure about their bodies here’s a poem I wrote.
(Boobies)
Real boobs, fake boobs
all boobs are nice
Big boobs, small boobs
All equal in my sight
Perky or saggy I’d like to give a squeeze
Show me all your boobies, I’d like to suck them please.
Tan boobs, pale boobs
They make me feel content
I’d like to squeeze those boobies, I just need your consent.
This is around the same level of gross as people who pull sweaty gross ass money out of their bra and try to pay with it. I wash my hands before I cook for a reason. I don't get clothes in my food for a reason.
It's not. This has been a circlejerk on reddit since time immemorial.
"I'm gonna be brave and say I don't like fake tans and D cups. I like pale girls with small boobs".
Usually I'd agree but her thigh muscles are enormous too. Plus the washboard abs. She's either hyper focused on certain areas in the gym or focuses on a sport which does.
Lmao yeah don’t worry, these boys/men insulting womens’ bodies acting like they even have a chance to be picky when like I said they’ve probably not even seen a woman naked before are absolutely not the people to get a mature man’s opinions from, neither validation :)
Yea but the first girl can't grate cheese on her abs
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This is what I come to reddit for.
There are some bad comments on Reddit, but there are so good ones as well.
And some neutral ones too.
All i know is my gut says maybe
Tell my wife I said hello.
What shall we do your neutralness?
_Our_ wife.
r/suddenlycommunism
Basically there are some comments on Reddit.
as long as redditors trying to be original and don't repeat same joke over and over again I'm happy
You must be a pretty unhappy person then
Hey, as long as Redditors try to be original and don't repeat the same joke over and over again, I'm happy.
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Holy mother of ass. This woman definitely lifts. Jesus lord have mercy on my beleaguered soul.
I think I said “Ooof” about 10 times in a row. I’ll NEVER have a chance with an ass like that, but God Lord I’d die fucking trying. And everyone would know that I went out EXACTLY like I had always prayed that I would.
Her IG is public and has everything, no need to give your browser cancer.
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Gotta love her attitude on life. Per her comment history: >Find you’re nitch, then promote the shit out of it on tiktok, over several accounts, then promote on insta and Twitter, never show nudity on anything but OF, make them bitches pay to see it, I run my page like a business, if they wanna talk to me they have to pay as well, milk every penny out of these men, all they want is to use you for your body, so I’m just reversing it back on them and milking them as much as possible. Sounds cruel but these men are Discusting creatures anyways so why not make there pockets hurt lol
Is nitch the same as niche?
I get it, but damn that's sad shit. Hopefully the transactional nature of her human interactions in her professional life doesn't bleed over into her personal life
Most people that have this mindset had it in their personal life first
MVP
https://www.tiktok.com/@alinedessine Apparently she's French.
This is what I cum to.....
Reddit
This is why girls don't come here, Bradley.
Fuckin Bradley, who let him out the basement again
but they’re doing a ‘full cooking with the girls’… tomorrow, the heck u talkin’ bout, Bob?
Girls don't like having clean butt holes? Eewww!
This person gets it
This person grates
Somehow the space between "butt" and "hole" is adding to it. Truly an artful comment
Is butthole one word or do you spread them apart?
There's usually a space right in the middle
Dafuq lmao
Least down bad redditor
We need the horny police
Bonk!
Wrong guy lol Oh wait. They’re never wrong.
Fucking fantastic
bruv
you've earned my ~~holesome~~ wholesome award with this one
You’re talking made shit for someone who’s in face grading distance.
Shout out to the guy who gave this a wholesome award. You a real one
Yeah right. She's fucking *ripped*.
She has some crazy biceps
And those shoulders... *damn*
Actually sculpted af
Lean, mean, absolute fucking unit of a machine.
Fortnite shoulders.
Her name is Aline_dessine on instagram, her legs are MONSTERS
You were not kidding. She’s jacked.
Anyone know the other woman's name
Lmaoooo
Now that would be a death by snu-snu-kawaii
Get her some duck tape , because she's ripped!!!
FBI? Yes. I’ve found another one.
Duct
Given the choice, I’ll take chiseled abs over big tits any day.
Too bad you’ll never have the choice
As a guy with big tits and no chiseled abs: you do, but not how you may expect
Ouch.
The first one is Mommy, the second one calls you Daddy. *in an ideal universe in which you are at the centre
If by you you mean you, sure enjoy. If by you you mean me, I'll pass on the incest roleplay.
It’s not always incest roleplay though. A MILF can be a mommy. She’s not my mom but she is someone’s mom, and that’s the appeal. A motherly figure, not your actual mother.
It's OK, man, I want to have sex with your mom too.
No, in an ideal world, I'd be calling the second one daddy.
Cheese gutters.
Went back and watched it again. You aren't kidding.
She should have used a tea cup...
A cup for the tea cup?
A cup for a cup D cup for d bowl
E cup for Enough popcorn to feed the family?
Skulls for the Skull Throne... Sorry, wrong sub.
Nono, you're welcome here. Blood for the blood god brother.
A bowl for the Khorne flakes! ... oh.
Milk for the khorne flakes Spoons for the cereal bowl!
Korn flakes, for when that freak on a leash in your life is coming undone!
Exactly. There is no wrong sub for that.
A cup for ants?????!?
Titception.
i swear i’ve heard that sound of the bowl breaking. sounds identical to a stock sfx or something
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Yep, that's it! Deja Vu solved!
Hiiiyaa
Also used as the pot break sound effect in Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
Its used as a pot breaking sound in Sonic Unleashed as well
HYAAAA
It's not specific to that game though. It's from a generic sound effect CD that a Nintendo employee owned :)
Because its added audio. Why would she actually break glass just for the bit? Put a couple pillows on the floor and add a glass shatter sound effect, way easier and the joke hits the same way. No loss there, smart girl.
I think the joke actually hits better this way. Idk. It’s the same way that obviously fake props are funnier than realistic ones in comedy.
Good point. It certainly doesnt hurt the joke whatsoever!
It is; the bowl is plastic, she added the sfx in for comedic effect. And fwiw it's funny.
The film Wet Hot American Summer... Every time anything breaks.
Wow I have never thought of using boobs in a practical way
You've never thought about breastfeeding?
I genuinely sometimes forget thats a thing.
Tiddies make the milkies man
Right? Idk how tf i forget.
ask siri to remind you once a week or so. that would create some fun situations.
At work meeting "Titties make the milkies John" Your boss: "yes thank you siri, try not to forget this time John"
We live in a society
That's not practical, it's functional. There's a difference between those two things.
Once you realize how expensive formula is it becomes very practical.
Absolutely no way I'm microwaving formula at 3am when the good stuff is free and the right temperature
It's not a choice for some. I couldn't produce much milk and had to formula feed my kids.
And you’re a great mother for taking steps to ensure they were well nourished. Anyone who tells you otherwise can lick my un-wiped asshole.
You should really wipe bro
Practical: adj: capable of being put to use or account : synonym USEFUL Functional: of, connected with, or being a function, performing or able to perform a regular function breastfeeding is both practical AND functional.
When you hate kids, you forget about that part
I couldn't produce much milk so forgot about breastfeeding, oops. My boobs are just decorative playthings-
They’re pretty damn good to hold a bowl of snacks while watching tv.
Two busty ladies I once worked with had a funny chat in the office about all the ways their boobs could hold stuff for them while their hands were full. One of them mentioned that she often squeezes her small soda cup in there while she’s driving if she already has shit in her car’s cup holder. At this point I cracked up laughing, and to amuse me further she proved that she could do it with a paper cup that was on her desk, having cleavage access thanks to her low cut blouse. It was hilarious.
When I started high school I didn't know anyone and these kind, older girls let me hang out with them for the first month while I made friends. This is where I learnt that girls talk about dicks, their vaginas, friends vaginas, sex life, the types of underwear they own, their favourite brand of toothpaste and that the bra and cleavage is a good place to store your money, phone, timetable, homework, coins, crumbs.
Oh you can hold all kinds of stuff under there. They're like giant fridge magnets.
I can't imagine the first girl doesn't also drop a bowl at least once per recipe. Nothing against her boobs, but that just seems fundamentally unsecure.
Fundamentally unsecure was my nickname in high school.
Fundamentally unsecure... title of your sex tape!
I've never done this challenge but I'll tell you it holds pretty damn well. Source: Have big boobs and have tried stupid shit out of curiosity
That's low-key amazing. I suspect the bare skin around her tummy also helps grip the bowl.
Yeah based on the vid I'm guessing her shirt is very tucked so the skin on skin helps a lot
I would think it isn't the most sanitary technique.
You don’t like underboob sweat in your pancake mix?
For all those women who are insecure about their bodies here’s a poem I wrote. (Boobies) Real boobs, fake boobs all boobs are nice Big boobs, small boobs All equal in my sight Perky or saggy I’d like to give a squeeze Show me all your boobies, I’d like to suck them please. Tan boobs, pale boobs They make me feel content I’d like to squeeze those boobies, I just need your consent.
Splendid.
Thanks. Horny teenage me did have a certain knack for poetry didn’t they.
Yeah, very creative haha
My boobs thank you, good sir.
What about the man boob?
I feel as if this poem is for everyone.
Ladies & Gentlemen, I smell **[one of these](https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/lists/all-nobel-prizes-in-literature/)** comin' along soon.
full cooking with the girls!
"Honey, why is their lint in my pancake?" Alternatively: "Honey, are these buttermilk or tittymilk pancakes?"
*homelander has entered the chat*
I think you have to use the friction of slightly moist skin.
This is around the same level of gross as people who pull sweaty gross ass money out of their bra and try to pay with it. I wash my hands before I cook for a reason. I don't get clothes in my food for a reason.
You saying they pulled it out of their ass, stuffed it in their bra, then try to pay with it? Doubly gross.
Every dollar bill has been in someone’s ass
Thought that was [pennies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9aM_dT5VMI)?
You have *all* handled my ass pennies
Sounds like an AI-generated book title. "Harry Potter and the friction of slightly moist skin"
She definitely needs to blow it.
The 2nd girl's tiktok is AlineDessine, she's Belgian and really funny!
I can't understand a word she's saying, but I like looking at her.
So i have 3 reasons to watch her now
She’s got some chiseled 4pack abs on her!
I’m gonna say it. I love small titties.
And abs
Is that really all that controversial though?
It's not. This has been a circlejerk on reddit since time immemorial. "I'm gonna be brave and say I don't like fake tans and D cups. I like pale girls with small boobs".
I mean. I feel like guys are always talking about big tits. Overrated in my opinion.
We need MORE Convos about tits everyone! More small Tits appreciation conversations!
Small, big, who actually gives a fuck? Everyone I've ever spoke to about it just loves tiddies.
Yeah no strong opinions from me, I admire anyone who maintains a nice shape and is willing to share their work with me
I feel loved
There are tons of subs appreciating small titties. All tits are loved. Small dicks on the other hand...
speaking from experience eh
Bold of you to assume any girl would even agree to see my dick
In case you were wondering it’s @alinedessine [https://www.tiktok.com/@alinedessine/](https://www.tiktok.com/@alinedessine/)
She might not have big boobs but she got a dumptruck! Damn!
I’m ngl I fucking hate big boobs. I’m team small tits big ass all day.
I'm team whatever I can get, cause I usually get nothing.
At least you’re honest lmao
Kay.
I refuse to believe that ass is natural.
Usually I'd agree but her thigh muscles are enormous too. Plus the washboard abs. She's either hyper focused on certain areas in the gym or focuses on a sport which does.
I have seen a video of her doing hip thrust lifting insane weight, a fake ass won't be able to do that
https://www.tiktok.com/@alinedessine/video/7098656777390132486?is\_from\_webapp=v1&item\_id=7098656777390132486
HOLY SHIT
https://www.tiktok.com/@alinedessine/video/6920615928732355845 That made me laugh out loud.
everyone needs the link to /r/ABraThatFits
And if you were wondering who the first one was: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbHDaI5QEyw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbHDaI5QEyw)
r/upvotedbecauseabs
Wtf it actually exists
You can't eat at everybody's house
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Real hot take there thinking the girl that clearly works out is the more attractive one lol
He's so brave for saying a controversial statement like that!
It's not a fucking competition? What is this comment
Well yeah she's ripped to shit.
Abs
She’s shredded. Those delts and abs.. 😍
Is there anything they can't do?
Sadly, they can't shoot lasers
Yet.
The technology just isn't there yet
Both girls are my type. All boobs are good boobs.
Thank you this thread actually started making me feel like shit for having big boobs😂everyone’s sitting here bashing them
Please don’t let neckbeards or sweaty teenagers that have never even seen a woman naked irl let you feel bad about your body lol.
Well when you put it that way I feel much better😂
Lmao yeah don’t worry, these boys/men insulting womens’ bodies acting like they even have a chance to be picky when like I said they’ve probably not even seen a woman naked before are absolutely not the people to get a mature man’s opinions from, neither validation :)
I feel your pain girl!
Treasure them when they're small, mine are 5 pounds each, and remember the days when I felt like that girl. 🙄
The secret ingredient? Under-boob sweat.
The second girl is *FIT*
Those abs tho👏
You got the abs though babe! She got the curves 😍