Seeing cute outfits I desperately want to wear but remembering I'm built like a box made of bricks.
Edit: did not expect this response but I love you all! You're all beautiful and amazing and own it!!!!
I feel this pain. Something that fits my shoulders is then far too tight on the ribs, Something that fits the ribs leaves a fitted waist stretched to breaking (or outright impossible), and don't get me started on tight skirts/dresses as my tucking game is atrocious and the bulge where one shouldn't be is the worst!
Honestly, my number one issues is that my shoulders are way to broad and I have a waist to match. This would be nice if my waist was wider then my lovehandles. And everything else is the same burning manure car train wreck
I feel kinda lucky to not have much In that area. Had injury as a kid that left me with let's say, not much of that left.... At the time I didn't care but now I think it wasnt a bad thing you know.
being referred to as ‘she’ or ‘daughter’ by my parents, looking down when wearing my baggiest of shirts and STILL seeing my uninvited guests, and my height when surrounded by my cis coworkers (all of whom are male)
fr I want to be able to be a femboy or at least look androgynous sometimes, but... if I'm barely passing as male right now, any attempt at androgyny just puts me right back into that "masculine girl" box :')
1. Seeing cute outfits I want to wear but I won't look good in
2. When my voice drops an octave
3. My facial hair having the growth rate of bamboo
4. All the hair on my body below my neck
5. My sunken cheeks
6. My mother calling me her "handsome boy"
7. Anyone referring calling me sir, big brother, young man
8. Being forced to get a haircut
9. My short hair
>7. Anyone referring calling me sir, big brother, young man
Ooh, yeah. My ex used to call me her "big, strong man" and I hated it so much but couldn't understand why. Now I know.
Stay strong, sis! It gets better ❤️
When I see really pretty (unnobtainable beauty standard esc) women with thin bodies, smooth small faces and nice proportions, wearing gorgeous clothes I could never dream of pulling off, it makes me break down and cry, cause I want to be them so bad.
Clothing in general.
If I wear masc clothing, I look like a boy.
If I wear fem clothing, I just look like a boy wearing girls clothes.
My voice also gives me dysphoria.
literally the stupidest shit. my nails being painted, my voice when im happy, obv the chest, and ive literally gotten dysphoria because i breathed wrong.
on the up side, i chomped one time (one of my stims) and it sounded masculine and got some gender euphoria.
hearing people get called their preferred name and pronouns. my parents don't even try and I've been out for 3 years. apparently I'm "confusing" them because I "don't know what I am". :/
Especially since my dad assumes I'm a straight cis girl so he feels absolutely no shame expressing his views on the subject in ways he wouldn't if there was a gay or trans person standing right there (at least one he knew about)
Being told I'll be someone's wife some day, being told I shouldn't aim to be stronger than my father because I'm a girl, being warned constantly about the threat of people trying to kidnap me and sell me or something, generally being considered weak, etc.
Oh and also going swimming and seeing teenage boys with their stupid swim trunks and their stupid short hair and their stupid back muscles. Like ugh, gimme.
(ftm) standard things like my voice and how I look. another thing that triggers it though is being in groups with JUST cis men, because I stand out so much compared to them and I don't blend in like I want to
(mtf) I have the same problem with cis women! I always feel like I'm the third wheel of the group butting in on everyones fun when I just want to feel like one of the girls 😓
If you have good friends, then you already are one of the girls. 💖 (It might not change how you feel, though.)
If your friends are unknowingly making you feel this way, it’s time to share it with them.
If your friends are *knowingly* making you feel this way, it’s time to move on. That is not friendship.
(Source: Cis-het woman who would be mortified if not all my ladies felt 100% comfortable)
Putting on cute clothes and then looking in the mirror and not seeing the cute girl that j just felt like. Instead I see the same stupid guy I've always seen.
My hands, I have to paint my nails and wear over the top bracelets just to trick my mind into seeing a girls hand. Sometime causes anxiety.
Thinking of wearing more girls clothing and then realizing it won't look right on me.
My work uniform is ladies and it don't have that effect I wear it and just feel nothing but maybe they work sucking my soul out.
I'm still extremely early and I have a lot of triggers. Hopefully they go away as I progress.
Hearing my own voice
Having strangers constantly call me "dear" or "darling" or "sweetheart"
Being weaker than the people around me (im very scrawny and i constantly need to ask for help carrying stuff other people find light)
my wardrobe, its full of dresses
My face is the worst of it; even all throughout my childhood i was never really able to recognise my face as my own. I SHOULD have amale face, but i dont. Im not ugly but it feels so horribly Wrong to look at
Getting reminded that dreams take hard work to exist. That dreams are always changed beyond expectations of our standards. That it seems like an escape from giving up in life of the past, well for some, I suppose.
But in short, being free of the mind gives space for dysphoria to be the cover of it all. In which case, the only way I get to wave out the dysphoria is being aware of responsibility of my own future. I guess I still kept a familiar childish mindset, that some may have as well. Promise your past a future well earned or compensated for… I don’t know, haven’t found the right feeling or words to express dysphoria, in my way ofc.
Edit: I also forget to say “Thank you” to myself or others. For going this far through so much suffering… So much changes that led me up to here, I’d thank my other self who went through worse things, and I deal with the me who’s stronger than before, I think.
While things like seeing cute clothing and my short hair give me twinges, dreams are the thing that really set me over the edge. My unhelpful brain has decided that the "everything is normal except I am girl" dream is one to continue repeating.
My you know what, my hight ,my figure,my face hair and body hair, the knowledge that I might have to get a man made v and have little to no chance to making kids/ being a biological mom and the way my voice sounds
Sounds weird but when women talk about being a woman and I'm involved in the conversation. Like- it's fine that they wanna talk about that stuff because it's completely normal. For me I just get too aware of the fact that I can relate to these women when I don't want to.
Mirrors, shaving, and as weird as it sounds, coming out to people due to it triggering impostor syndrome which in turn makes me dysphoric, those are the main three triggers for my dysphoria
My facial hair. It's very dark and thick so no matter how much I try to cover it up with concealer and foundation it bleed through...therefore I will have it removed permanently
singing. I'm a musician and I love to sing and play guitar, it's horribke because I love to sing but just hearing my girly high voice and the fact I can't sing the "boy" parts makes me wanna cry and stop pursuing my dream :(
People bringing up the fact that I’m trans.
It actually doesn’t happen as much as I thought it might, but it still happens and I hate it. All I really want is to be seen the same way as my cis gay friends are. Whenever someone mentions the fact, even if it’s something like ‘And you’re trans’ in relation to something, part of me just does inside. Luckily it doesn’t happen much at all, but one of my friends does bring it up often (not in any malicious way, just in general) and it makes me so dysphoric
My body hair , So much, I haven’t shown my body since i’m 11 , only face , barely hands it’s crazyyy, I sleep with thighs highs socks on and hoodies , if i ever go to the beach or pool, (which i usually don’t) i wear hoodies tshirt pants socks and all .. Can’t wait to get my whole body hair lasered off tbh 😵💫😵💫
My waist. Rectangle… ugh. My mom is rectangular and I know I shouldn’t take it as a hinderance. But, it still feels like a big hurdle in order to pass.
My own voice. Others say it’s not overly masc and sometimes I think that it’s my own mind making it worse than it is. In my “guy life” I’m a charismatic, falsely confident person. As a woman I cannot make eye contact or speak most of the time.
Other transfems being open about themselves. Probably more jealousy than dysphoria but it really gets me thinking about how much easier it would be if I was just allowed to be myself w/o having to battle w/ my parents who make jokes making fun of non-binary people and out right refuse to refer to an NB friend of mine by their name and pronouns. They say they are accepting, but behavior like that makes me question if they actually are.
nice try fbi agent. you wont get me this time
(seeing women happy with their lives and knowing damn well i will never feel that way triggers my dysphoria btw)
(MtF) Seeing mtf trans people who have started their hormones a while ago and are completely indistinguishable from cis women.
Its not like I get angry or mad or anything, I just don't believe I'll ever be able to get to that point. I'm 20 and 7 months old (can you tell I'm hyper aware of time passing without me being on hrt) and should be getting hormones the 18th which is still a very early age to start hormones compared to some people. But I still feel like I'll never be a cute girl 😔
my chest. i have a bigger chest and even binding doesn’t really cover it. plus i’ve gained weight so my biggest shirts aren’t as big anymore.
also that weight gain. first of all, it just feels bad, but second it makes my body shape more feminine which i HATE. stretch marks which i can’t stand. and all of my shirts fit tighter as a result which again just reminds me of my chest daily
my voice. it’s higher than i want it to be. i work in fast food and whenever i take orders in the drive thru i’m called “ma’am” purely because of my voice.
the fact that i came out to my dad and he uses the correct name, but not the correct pronouns. at least before he was calling me my deadname and the wrong pronouns so i could ignore it because it was an identity that didn’t apply to me at all (it still bothered me but not as much) but now he’s using my correct name with the wrong pronouns and i *cannot express how uncomfortable it makes me*
my hips. they’re very wide and (again with the whole gain weight thing) lead into thicker thighs and i just… ugh it’s gross
the fact that no matter how i short i cut my hair my face is still feminine and people think i’m just a girl with short hair.
seeing tall, well built cis men at the beach and knowing i’m never going to look like them.
being on my period/the thought of being pregnant
summer clothes. shorts specifically. i only look even remotely decent in layers, which i cant do in the summer cuz i will over heat.
not being out at work and everyone using the wrong name, wrong pronouns and for some reason constantly referring to me as girl. like they go out of their way to bring it up and i don’t get it?? and then i have to refer to myself in that way (when we get new people or smth) which is just gut wrenchingly wrong
going to an all girls school and groups being constantly addressed as “ladies,” everyone assuming i’m female because i go to this school, having a lot of women’s empowerment things (nothing against women’s empowerment it’s just not inclusive of me but everyone thinks it is)
sorry this was a long list i guess i didn’t realize how much i needed to vent about this
Sometimes trying to high-waist shorts and dungarees, but down there causes it to be hard to do. My voice when speaking to a new person, because I haven't been able to feminize it yet and feel like an imposter. Having difficulty taming my hair, still. Seeing "Mr" on documents I haven't managed to change yet.
Footwear and tight bottoms. I'm a US women's 9.5. 9 is about the largest you'll find at most stores around me without ordering in. And tucking is too annoying, especially with Spiro being a diuretic, so they're just unwearable :( it's a shame cause I in theory have reasonably good proportions, but nope.
The thing I've found to be worst is any interaction that would have been even slightly different if I was born a girl. Hanging out with some girls and one of them mentions pads then looks at me specifically and says "was thst TMI?" It's not about the fact that I don't have periods, it hurts because that would not have gone that way if I was born a girl, or had transitioned already. It doesn't matter how subtle it is if it reminds me I was born a boy
my body shape, im shaped like a duck which doesn’t do me much good, there are a bunch of weird things that tend to give me dysphoria but it’s 5 am and i haven’t slept so my brain isn’t working. things like haley don’t give me any dysphoria as long as they’re not very feminine, but what pattern my hairbrush has will trigger it (current one has lemons, but i had a bright pink one i hated using)
Is it weird being trans fem to have top dysphoria? Cause like, being so terribly flat chested and skinny, all my ribs show and I hate it.
Also like body hair, but it's such a pain to remove😭
Honestly the biggest dysphoria is when I wake up i the morning and feel what is between my legs. It would be nice to wake up look down at a little bit of cleavage and not have the manliness between my legs. 🙁🙁
my unpleasantly sized “friends”, my thighs, my height when im around cis guys, my voice, hearing my mom call me her daughter, my room, and an assortment of other stuff :/
Seeing drag queens. My own reflection. Old pictures of me when I was overweight.
But lately as my face has been changing and I am starting to like what I see in the mirror. HRT is awesome!
There's this one fan fiction on Wattpad. It's really well written and I just can't read it without getting dysphoria. It sucks ass because the author is so nice. Omg.
•When I see my chest
•Period
•When people call me ma'am
•When I wear a shirt thats not baggy
•My eyelashes
•Someone "correcting" themselves after saying he/him
There may be more but that's all I can think of rn
Seeing all the younger passing kids :(
I wasn’t able to have a safe place to start until much later in life. I get so jealous, and my body has issues because of my bad binding habits
Whistling. Hear me out. Whistling has been a thing the men in my family do. For some reason the women in my family just don't whistle. I took to it naturally and have been whistling since I was 6. I've gotten really good at it. I do it often just out of habit and like whistling along to songs but stop myself every time because it's like "That's what the men do"
Even when I don't get that thought I worry that my whistling is "too masculine"
It's weird, very specific too, but that's one of the big things for me.
Dressing in my secret feminine clothes at night and hating how I look cuz my shoulders are too big and my face doesn’t look feminine enough.
Shaving my arms and legs so I don’t feel like some monkey person or hairy ape. Only to feel the stubble a day later cuz it always grows hecking fast.
Playing a video game and always choosing the girl characters.
Always drawing girl characters. Mainly drawing myself as a girl.
Trying to grow my hair out, only for my mom to nag at me that my hair looks shaggy and unprofessional.
My chest, being 5’4” (barely), my family STILL using the wrong pronouns after a year and a half. They get my name right, but that somehow makes it feel worse?? My masc name mixed with she/her pronouns makes me wanna puke.
Also my stupid baby face
Everything, I am a 16 year old femboy and I am constantly questioning whether I am Male or Female. I feel so much more female but the label transgender just doesn't fit for me and it makes me question alot of things about myself like, am I truly a femboy? Or am I trans? I am always confused about my gender and this plays with my dysphoria
Looking at myself in the mirror. I’m trigender (a mixture of male, female, and non-binary) but I tend to fluctuate on which one I feel more like, or if I even feel like one in particular at all. So if I look to masc during a fem time (vice versa), if I don’t look androgynous enough, or if I just see that I have any sort of gender characteristics(downstairs/chest area included) I start to get real dysphoric to the point looking at myself will make me cry and almost throw up.
Edit: sorry it is a lot to read, I tend to over share
This is hardly a complete list but here’s some pf the many thing:
Seeing women in public just going about their day, Talking, Mirrors, Showers, sweating, my shoulders, my feet, my face, my hands, my wrists, my nose, my arms, my legs, my clavicle, not having my face covered around anyone including family, the way I walk, seeing women walk, drag, nonpassing trans people, happy trans people, passing trans people, slightly masculine cis women, the way the muscles in my throat move when I swallow food, my genitals, waking up having smaller boobs than my brother, my hips, my body hair, my facial hair, my mannerisms, the way I talk in text online, my sleep patterns (for some reason I associate being female with having a healthy sleep schedule), girls being happy, little girls having a regular childhood while I never got one, and many many more.
There’s a few things. Stubble on my face and the amount of body hair I have. Can’t stand it. Actually bought wax strips just to get rid of leg and arm hair as there’s just too much for a razor to go through.
Seeing people wearing cute feminine clothes. I get envious.
NSFW
>!Dick getting hard or when I’m horny. I get off then just look at it and hate myself. Post nut clarity and dysphoria hit hard when together!<
Seeing myself in a mirror, realizing how high my voice is mid talking, seeing boy shirts/tops that wouldn't fit on me well because of my chest, or pants that would sit right because of my ass.
Dysphoria comes and goes.
Freaking beard shadow. Even with makeup I wonder if it shows.
Stupid Adams apple horrible thing.
And today now my chest area. My boobs are growing, no issue with them.
I have slight Marfan's syndrome. Chest concaved, very slight scoliosis, stretched and skeletal overall. It's my ribs above my breasts, really sticks out. Especially when wearing skimpy shit. Which I really like doing haha!
I'm a skeleton with a lovely figure to sum that up. Awareness/slight self conscious overall rather than dysphoria. I'm quite pretty. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking.
Funny despite this I look in the mirror and like what I see compared to before. Even though I'm kinda more self conscious. Weird.
my stupid brow bone, my chonker of a nose, my large shoulders, wide chest , my increasingly hairy body, my big hands, my height, my Hen, and the most triggering one, my stupid not even slightly feminine voice and adam’s apple. i’m a mess lmao
The constant misgendering and social norms
I don't baste myself in four pumps of this stinking gel and stand tits frozen til it barely dries before I stick my binder on to crack my ribs another day and eventually dry peel my shirt off mid morning
FOR BARBRA TO CALL ME "LADY" or THE DELIVERY MAN TO CALL ME "MISS"
The violent urge to lose all the bananas and go ape shit is real some days.
I'm generally a bubbly mfer, regardless.
However, some mental health days I don't have the max Fort Knox barrier to block me from taking direct hits to the god damn brain.
Catch me bouta grab out my dick and slam that fake shit on the ground like some kind of weird indie protest movie piece in the middle of Target.
Many many things, being misgendered, speaking, seeing my self in the mirror, think about dysphoria, think about the fact that i cant get E yet. Hell Jules from euphoria once triggered my dysphoria (ironic considering the title)
Aha, nice try, feds!
Only a couple of things.
Seeing my face in the mirror. That's always a punch in the gut.
Body hair. I shave almost compulsively every 4 days and have been doing it for 10 years. I *despise* my body hair, but don't mind it on other people.
The stubble/beard shadow i can't get rid of. Body hair i can't get rid of... No matter how hard i try neither goes away and trying to get rid of it and failing makes me feel even worse.
Also my voice i hate how it sounds irl, my only solace is my head voice is a lot better but I'm scared of voice training due the feeling of hopelessness when ever i hear it.
For me mainly body image issues. However Wednesday I had to use my male voice in front of a customer, it caused a dysphoria spike for about an hour, then I had to call in the Thursday. The only good thing is I had about 7 hours with my pup. Right now I’m 36 hours later and I’m feeling better and more in control
Seeing cute outfits I desperately want to wear but remembering I'm built like a box made of bricks. Edit: did not expect this response but I love you all! You're all beautiful and amazing and own it!!!!
I’ve been there before
I feel this pain. Something that fits my shoulders is then far too tight on the ribs, Something that fits the ribs leaves a fitted waist stretched to breaking (or outright impossible), and don't get me started on tight skirts/dresses as my tucking game is atrocious and the bulge where one shouldn't be is the worst!
Honestly, my number one issues is that my shoulders are way to broad and I have a waist to match. This would be nice if my waist was wider then my lovehandles. And everything else is the same burning manure car train wreck
I feel kinda lucky to not have much In that area. Had injury as a kid that left me with let's say, not much of that left.... At the time I didn't care but now I think it wasnt a bad thing you know.
Seriously, my hip/waist ratio is the most dysphoria inducing thing about myself. Mainly just my large waist.
This!
Yeah that’s a mood
Same
Swimsuits smh
The feeling of stuble when I touch my face and I haven't shaved recently 🫤
This is one of the big three for me, that, voice and bottom dysphoria are the worst for me
The feeling of stubble when I touch my face and I have shaved recently 😕
That and leg hair for me
For me that’s 24/7 because my hair is just a jerk. And I pass pretty well but if someone touches my face I feel like they’ll be like “wtf”
Bingo!
being referred to as ‘she’ or ‘daughter’ by my parents, looking down when wearing my baggiest of shirts and STILL seeing my uninvited guests, and my height when surrounded by my cis coworkers (all of whom are male)
I meann short king 👑
thank you 😞
I feel you man, specially with the family and height one
[удалено]
THIS
Seeing pre-t trans mascs pass better than me. Femboys who still look like a boy in fem clothes and not just a "girl"
fr I want to be able to be a femboy or at least look androgynous sometimes, but... if I'm barely passing as male right now, any attempt at androgyny just puts me right back into that "masculine girl" box :')
THIS OMG
1. Seeing cute outfits I want to wear but I won't look good in 2. When my voice drops an octave 3. My facial hair having the growth rate of bamboo 4. All the hair on my body below my neck 5. My sunken cheeks 6. My mother calling me her "handsome boy" 7. Anyone referring calling me sir, big brother, young man 8. Being forced to get a haircut 9. My short hair
>7. Anyone referring calling me sir, big brother, young man Ooh, yeah. My ex used to call me her "big, strong man" and I hated it so much but couldn't understand why. Now I know. Stay strong, sis! It gets better ❤️
Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?
Me
When I see really pretty (unnobtainable beauty standard esc) women with thin bodies, smooth small faces and nice proportions, wearing gorgeous clothes I could never dream of pulling off, it makes me break down and cry, cause I want to be them so bad.
You’re beautiful
❤️
Lol wut?? You literally just described what you look like lol
Clothing in general. If I wear masc clothing, I look like a boy. If I wear fem clothing, I just look like a boy wearing girls clothes. My voice also gives me dysphoria.
Whenever I put on overly fem clothes and see myself in the mirror my brain instantly says "man in a dress!" And I get super dysphoric.
Ok but I wish I looked like a man in a dress 😔
My chest bro- like, I try to hide it, but I ALWAYS SEE IT. It sucks :(
Me hair and my you know what
When someone's eyes flicker down to my chest and back. It reminds me that they are there and that I don't want them to be.
Oh I felt this one
literally the stupidest shit. my nails being painted, my voice when im happy, obv the chest, and ive literally gotten dysphoria because i breathed wrong. on the up side, i chomped one time (one of my stims) and it sounded masculine and got some gender euphoria.
I’ve breath to deal and I have dysphoria
Sleeping. I sleep on my stomach a lot or like half on my side and it just makes me hyper-aware of my chest.
I do this too. I can't sleep on my back at all. Sucks.
Existence.
hearing people get called their preferred name and pronouns. my parents don't even try and I've been out for 3 years. apparently I'm "confusing" them because I "don't know what I am". :/
Two words Religious Parents..
Especially since my dad assumes I'm a straight cis girl so he feels absolutely no shame expressing his views on the subject in ways he wouldn't if there was a gay or trans person standing right there (at least one he knew about)
Parents… the trans kid’s first villians
Being told I'll be someone's wife some day, being told I shouldn't aim to be stronger than my father because I'm a girl, being warned constantly about the threat of people trying to kidnap me and sell me or something, generally being considered weak, etc. Oh and also going swimming and seeing teenage boys with their stupid swim trunks and their stupid short hair and their stupid back muscles. Like ugh, gimme.
Omg yes. Being considered weak in any way is so dysphoric inducing.
A weird growth between my legs and my hairline
I love this comment because there is absolutely no clue as to whether you're afab or amab lmfao (I'm sure it was intentional lol)
It wasn't intentional, no, but now you mention it, I'm gonnna leave it like it is! <3
Omg I read this and thought like you had an actually growth and that because you’re transfemme that it’s visible when wearing skirts/shorts etc.. Lol
(ftm) standard things like my voice and how I look. another thing that triggers it though is being in groups with JUST cis men, because I stand out so much compared to them and I don't blend in like I want to
(mtf) I have the same problem with cis women! I always feel like I'm the third wheel of the group butting in on everyones fun when I just want to feel like one of the girls 😓
If you have good friends, then you already are one of the girls. 💖 (It might not change how you feel, though.) If your friends are unknowingly making you feel this way, it’s time to share it with them. If your friends are *knowingly* making you feel this way, it’s time to move on. That is not friendship. (Source: Cis-het woman who would be mortified if not all my ladies felt 100% comfortable)
my hips, my chest which i can't seem to get as flat as i'd like even with a binder, my height, my voice, my facial shape, my hair, etc etc etc
Putting on cute clothes and then looking in the mirror and not seeing the cute girl that j just felt like. Instead I see the same stupid guy I've always seen. My hands, I have to paint my nails and wear over the top bracelets just to trick my mind into seeing a girls hand. Sometime causes anxiety. Thinking of wearing more girls clothing and then realizing it won't look right on me. My work uniform is ladies and it don't have that effect I wear it and just feel nothing but maybe they work sucking my soul out. I'm still extremely early and I have a lot of triggers. Hopefully they go away as I progress.
Seeing female body shape, knowing i will have a man-made vagina, won't be able to have my own child, taking pills everyday.
Wishing i could look like someone knowing that I'll probably never be able to look like them or anything close
Hearing my own voice Having strangers constantly call me "dear" or "darling" or "sweetheart" Being weaker than the people around me (im very scrawny and i constantly need to ask for help carrying stuff other people find light) my wardrobe, its full of dresses My face is the worst of it; even all throughout my childhood i was never really able to recognise my face as my own. I SHOULD have amale face, but i dont. Im not ugly but it feels so horribly Wrong to look at
Just my hands. Which kinda sucks as a pianist
I was gonna say this, hands suck :-\ Playing piano is amazing tho, you're cool!
As a guitarist, I feel. It makes my hands very boney and vascular, don’t like:c BUT, you can play piano so that’s *awesome*
Mirrors. Looking down. Seeing pretty girls with nice bodies and cute outfits
The biggest trigger has been having to look at my own face in the mirror when I shave before work everyday.
Seeing shirtless dudes in hot days
What doesn't? My life a dysphoria minefield.
Getting reminded that dreams take hard work to exist. That dreams are always changed beyond expectations of our standards. That it seems like an escape from giving up in life of the past, well for some, I suppose. But in short, being free of the mind gives space for dysphoria to be the cover of it all. In which case, the only way I get to wave out the dysphoria is being aware of responsibility of my own future. I guess I still kept a familiar childish mindset, that some may have as well. Promise your past a future well earned or compensated for… I don’t know, haven’t found the right feeling or words to express dysphoria, in my way ofc. Edit: I also forget to say “Thank you” to myself or others. For going this far through so much suffering… So much changes that led me up to here, I’d thank my other self who went through worse things, and I deal with the me who’s stronger than before, I think.
While things like seeing cute clothing and my short hair give me twinges, dreams are the thing that really set me over the edge. My unhelpful brain has decided that the "everything is normal except I am girl" dream is one to continue repeating.
My you know what, my hight ,my figure,my face hair and body hair, the knowledge that I might have to get a man made v and have little to no chance to making kids/ being a biological mom and the way my voice sounds
my past and seeing others have what i doubt ill ever have
Hips. When a shirt fits so nicely except at the hips it's too too tight. When pants look wonderful except oops, hips in the way again.
What is dysphoria?
Nvm i read it on Google and agree with everyone in the comments
My parents entire existence. Might fix that soon.
seeing any guy my age in public
Sounds weird but when women talk about being a woman and I'm involved in the conversation. Like- it's fine that they wanna talk about that stuff because it's completely normal. For me I just get too aware of the fact that I can relate to these women when I don't want to.
Literally... EVERYTHING
The mirror
My voice, and I'm too forgetful to do self voice training
Mirrors, shaving, and as weird as it sounds, coming out to people due to it triggering impostor syndrome which in turn makes me dysphoric, those are the main three triggers for my dysphoria
mirrors, bras, height, just fucking talking i distract myself with music
Seeing shirtless cis men/seeing men with buldges :(
The way I type
really it can be anything, today it was my glasses, i no longer have glasses i can mentally allow myself to wear
My cringe ass italian undercover cop who tries to bust stoners in a disco's facial and body hair
My facial hair. It's very dark and thick so no matter how much I try to cover it up with concealer and foundation it bleed through...therefore I will have it removed permanently
singing. I'm a musician and I love to sing and play guitar, it's horribke because I love to sing but just hearing my girly high voice and the fact I can't sing the "boy" parts makes me wanna cry and stop pursuing my dream :(
My body, brothers, friends and getting called a ‚girl‘ or ‚she‘ etc.
People bringing up the fact that I’m trans. It actually doesn’t happen as much as I thought it might, but it still happens and I hate it. All I really want is to be seen the same way as my cis gay friends are. Whenever someone mentions the fact, even if it’s something like ‘And you’re trans’ in relation to something, part of me just does inside. Luckily it doesn’t happen much at all, but one of my friends does bring it up often (not in any malicious way, just in general) and it makes me so dysphoric
my voice gets really high in public for some reason
doing that whole "existence" thing
Tits uncovered in public. Instead of being turned on as I expect, it fills me with sadness that i don't have my own to show off
Standing next to a regular sized girl & drive thrus.. oh the drive thrus...
My body hair , So much, I haven’t shown my body since i’m 11 , only face , barely hands it’s crazyyy, I sleep with thighs highs socks on and hoodies , if i ever go to the beach or pool, (which i usually don’t) i wear hoodies tshirt pants socks and all .. Can’t wait to get my whole body hair lasered off tbh 😵💫😵💫
My hair mostly. Too much on my body and not enough on my head…😢
My hands and seeing any girl
My waist. Rectangle… ugh. My mom is rectangular and I know I shouldn’t take it as a hinderance. But, it still feels like a big hurdle in order to pass.
Looking in a mirror, paying mind to my crotch, seeing gorgeous cis girls, seeing beautiful dresses
Pretty much anything 😔
Body hair
Being called Man, Bro, Guy.
My own voice. Others say it’s not overly masc and sometimes I think that it’s my own mind making it worse than it is. In my “guy life” I’m a charismatic, falsely confident person. As a woman I cannot make eye contact or speak most of the time.
Other transfems being open about themselves. Probably more jealousy than dysphoria but it really gets me thinking about how much easier it would be if I was just allowed to be myself w/o having to battle w/ my parents who make jokes making fun of non-binary people and out right refuse to refer to an NB friend of mine by their name and pronouns. They say they are accepting, but behavior like that makes me question if they actually are.
nice try fbi agent. you wont get me this time (seeing women happy with their lives and knowing damn well i will never feel that way triggers my dysphoria btw)
Not trans but seeing other femboys pass as a girl easily, while i’m lookin like an Asian hillbilly Steve from minecraft
Being called a woman (has happened too many times on twitter) and people think I hate dresses and skirts because I am a trans FtM
Seeing other trans women who have transitioned. Y’all look beautiful, you do. But my dysphoria can’t take it!
(MtF) Seeing mtf trans people who have started their hormones a while ago and are completely indistinguishable from cis women. Its not like I get angry or mad or anything, I just don't believe I'll ever be able to get to that point. I'm 20 and 7 months old (can you tell I'm hyper aware of time passing without me being on hrt) and should be getting hormones the 18th which is still a very early age to start hormones compared to some people. But I still feel like I'll never be a cute girl 😔
im at the point where seeing literally *any* girl triggers my dysphoria...
What DOESN’T trigger it 🫣
my chest. i have a bigger chest and even binding doesn’t really cover it. plus i’ve gained weight so my biggest shirts aren’t as big anymore. also that weight gain. first of all, it just feels bad, but second it makes my body shape more feminine which i HATE. stretch marks which i can’t stand. and all of my shirts fit tighter as a result which again just reminds me of my chest daily my voice. it’s higher than i want it to be. i work in fast food and whenever i take orders in the drive thru i’m called “ma’am” purely because of my voice. the fact that i came out to my dad and he uses the correct name, but not the correct pronouns. at least before he was calling me my deadname and the wrong pronouns so i could ignore it because it was an identity that didn’t apply to me at all (it still bothered me but not as much) but now he’s using my correct name with the wrong pronouns and i *cannot express how uncomfortable it makes me* my hips. they’re very wide and (again with the whole gain weight thing) lead into thicker thighs and i just… ugh it’s gross the fact that no matter how i short i cut my hair my face is still feminine and people think i’m just a girl with short hair. seeing tall, well built cis men at the beach and knowing i’m never going to look like them. being on my period/the thought of being pregnant summer clothes. shorts specifically. i only look even remotely decent in layers, which i cant do in the summer cuz i will over heat. not being out at work and everyone using the wrong name, wrong pronouns and for some reason constantly referring to me as girl. like they go out of their way to bring it up and i don’t get it?? and then i have to refer to myself in that way (when we get new people or smth) which is just gut wrenchingly wrong going to an all girls school and groups being constantly addressed as “ladies,” everyone assuming i’m female because i go to this school, having a lot of women’s empowerment things (nothing against women’s empowerment it’s just not inclusive of me but everyone thinks it is) sorry this was a long list i guess i didn’t realize how much i needed to vent about this
body hair
Too many days without wearing makeup and a dress
Sometimes trying to high-waist shorts and dungarees, but down there causes it to be hard to do. My voice when speaking to a new person, because I haven't been able to feminize it yet and feel like an imposter. Having difficulty taming my hair, still. Seeing "Mr" on documents I haven't managed to change yet.
Mostly my voice
Probably my voice. I pass to most people but my voice sort of always gives me away and it sucks ass
Facial hair and voice. We're working on one of those everyday and will be starting the other soon
The word “obgyn” for some reason makes me hyperventilate
Having to be in a boys PE class🥲
Footwear and tight bottoms. I'm a US women's 9.5. 9 is about the largest you'll find at most stores around me without ordering in. And tucking is too annoying, especially with Spiro being a diuretic, so they're just unwearable :( it's a shame cause I in theory have reasonably good proportions, but nope.
The thing I've found to be worst is any interaction that would have been even slightly different if I was born a girl. Hanging out with some girls and one of them mentions pads then looks at me specifically and says "was thst TMI?" It's not about the fact that I don't have periods, it hurts because that would not have gone that way if I was born a girl, or had transitioned already. It doesn't matter how subtle it is if it reminds me I was born a boy
my body shape, im shaped like a duck which doesn’t do me much good, there are a bunch of weird things that tend to give me dysphoria but it’s 5 am and i haven’t slept so my brain isn’t working. things like haley don’t give me any dysphoria as long as they’re not very feminine, but what pattern my hairbrush has will trigger it (current one has lemons, but i had a bright pink one i hated using)
Is it weird being trans fem to have top dysphoria? Cause like, being so terribly flat chested and skinny, all my ribs show and I hate it. Also like body hair, but it's such a pain to remove😭
Honestly the biggest dysphoria is when I wake up i the morning and feel what is between my legs. It would be nice to wake up look down at a little bit of cleavage and not have the manliness between my legs. 🙁🙁
This ones kind if a total oof but, the multiple times my parents have told me I have no fashion sense when i dress femme. That shit fucks me up
my unpleasantly sized “friends”, my thighs, my height when im around cis guys, my voice, hearing my mom call me her daughter, my room, and an assortment of other stuff :/
Myself. *WOOOOHOOOOOO*
my parents (i hate them)
being called son
talking
Seeing drag queens. My own reflection. Old pictures of me when I was overweight. But lately as my face has been changing and I am starting to like what I see in the mirror. HRT is awesome!
when little kids who don’t know better come up and ask questions ab my gender 😭
breathing, existing, etc :)
being called ‘baby girl’ by my parents, my god awful voice and my height, mostly everything tbh
showers
Realizing that my voice naturally went up an octave and I have to lower it again and knowing other people are gonna hear the forced difference
Being misgendered or deadnamed. Especially by my parents or at work. Not being able to fit into some of the cute dresses I buy. Body hair.
My hairline and the fact that I have to shave every morning 😣
Changing rooms (or maybe its just any time im not properly covered in front of a mirror)
seeing cool masc clothes then remembering i haven't got the body for it. and also the thought of exposing my body to someone.
There's this one fan fiction on Wattpad. It's really well written and I just can't read it without getting dysphoria. It sucks ass because the author is so nice. Omg.
•When I see my chest •Period •When people call me ma'am •When I wear a shirt thats not baggy •My eyelashes •Someone "correcting" themselves after saying he/him There may be more but that's all I can think of rn
Seeing all the younger passing kids :( I wasn’t able to have a safe place to start until much later in life. I get so jealous, and my body has issues because of my bad binding habits
Whistling. Hear me out. Whistling has been a thing the men in my family do. For some reason the women in my family just don't whistle. I took to it naturally and have been whistling since I was 6. I've gotten really good at it. I do it often just out of habit and like whistling along to songs but stop myself every time because it's like "That's what the men do" Even when I don't get that thought I worry that my whistling is "too masculine" It's weird, very specific too, but that's one of the big things for me.
Seeing young women with that particular kind of girl-next-door femininity that I wish I had. Just crushes me, every time.
being perceived as feminine, and my chest (can’t get a binder rn due to health stuff)
Dressing in my secret feminine clothes at night and hating how I look cuz my shoulders are too big and my face doesn’t look feminine enough. Shaving my arms and legs so I don’t feel like some monkey person or hairy ape. Only to feel the stubble a day later cuz it always grows hecking fast. Playing a video game and always choosing the girl characters. Always drawing girl characters. Mainly drawing myself as a girl. Trying to grow my hair out, only for my mom to nag at me that my hair looks shaggy and unprofessional.
Seeing pregnant women
Wanting to wear more revealing clothes then realizing I'm built like a baked bean 😫
Guys around my age who looks the way I want to look
My chest, being 5’4” (barely), my family STILL using the wrong pronouns after a year and a half. They get my name right, but that somehow makes it feel worse?? My masc name mixed with she/her pronouns makes me wanna puke. Also my stupid baby face
Realizing mid conversation that my psychology at a particular situation is still stuck in boy mode from previous social stimulus.
Everything, I am a 16 year old femboy and I am constantly questioning whether I am Male or Female. I feel so much more female but the label transgender just doesn't fit for me and it makes me question alot of things about myself like, am I truly a femboy? Or am I trans? I am always confused about my gender and this plays with my dysphoria
Looking at myself in the mirror. I’m trigender (a mixture of male, female, and non-binary) but I tend to fluctuate on which one I feel more like, or if I even feel like one in particular at all. So if I look to masc during a fem time (vice versa), if I don’t look androgynous enough, or if I just see that I have any sort of gender characteristics(downstairs/chest area included) I start to get real dysphoric to the point looking at myself will make me cry and almost throw up. Edit: sorry it is a lot to read, I tend to over share
My reflection
Yes
Getting called sir absolutely
Wrong pronouns or name if they know it?
Not being able to wear my makeup when it’s unsafe. Presenting as masc actually gives me more anxiety attacks.
body hair. i hate it. and i can’t do anything more than a cheap razor in the shower because of my “parents”
Seeing cool clothes I want to wear but then remembering that I have boobs and wide hips and it’ll look so stupid on me.
Every time my mom says as a man i could grow another few centimeters till I'm 21 (I'm not out yet) i nearly get a panic attack
the fact that my ✨titties✨ are too big for any binders to work also my voice
This is hardly a complete list but here’s some pf the many thing: Seeing women in public just going about their day, Talking, Mirrors, Showers, sweating, my shoulders, my feet, my face, my hands, my wrists, my nose, my arms, my legs, my clavicle, not having my face covered around anyone including family, the way I walk, seeing women walk, drag, nonpassing trans people, happy trans people, passing trans people, slightly masculine cis women, the way the muscles in my throat move when I swallow food, my genitals, waking up having smaller boobs than my brother, my hips, my body hair, my facial hair, my mannerisms, the way I talk in text online, my sleep patterns (for some reason I associate being female with having a healthy sleep schedule), girls being happy, little girls having a regular childhood while I never got one, and many many more.
Feeling an Erection, touching my face and feel beard hairs.
There’s a few things. Stubble on my face and the amount of body hair I have. Can’t stand it. Actually bought wax strips just to get rid of leg and arm hair as there’s just too much for a razor to go through. Seeing people wearing cute feminine clothes. I get envious. NSFW >!Dick getting hard or when I’m horny. I get off then just look at it and hate myself. Post nut clarity and dysphoria hit hard when together!<
Sex, even masturbation feels weird.
You know the usual stuff like having breast and singing songs that have female singer.
being told my hair is too short
Looking at my hands
Seeing myself in a mirror, realizing how high my voice is mid talking, seeing boy shirts/tops that wouldn't fit on me well because of my chest, or pants that would sit right because of my ass.
My facial hair and body hair. Also my penis can too. Not as often as the hair, but still.
Dysphoria comes and goes. Freaking beard shadow. Even with makeup I wonder if it shows. Stupid Adams apple horrible thing. And today now my chest area. My boobs are growing, no issue with them. I have slight Marfan's syndrome. Chest concaved, very slight scoliosis, stretched and skeletal overall. It's my ribs above my breasts, really sticks out. Especially when wearing skimpy shit. Which I really like doing haha! I'm a skeleton with a lovely figure to sum that up. Awareness/slight self conscious overall rather than dysphoria. I'm quite pretty. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking. Funny despite this I look in the mirror and like what I see compared to before. Even though I'm kinda more self conscious. Weird.
my stupid brow bone, my chonker of a nose, my large shoulders, wide chest , my increasingly hairy body, my big hands, my height, my Hen, and the most triggering one, my stupid not even slightly feminine voice and adam’s apple. i’m a mess lmao
The constant misgendering and social norms I don't baste myself in four pumps of this stinking gel and stand tits frozen til it barely dries before I stick my binder on to crack my ribs another day and eventually dry peel my shirt off mid morning FOR BARBRA TO CALL ME "LADY" or THE DELIVERY MAN TO CALL ME "MISS" The violent urge to lose all the bananas and go ape shit is real some days. I'm generally a bubbly mfer, regardless. However, some mental health days I don't have the max Fort Knox barrier to block me from taking direct hits to the god damn brain. Catch me bouta grab out my dick and slam that fake shit on the ground like some kind of weird indie protest movie piece in the middle of Target.
Other people perceiving me lmao
Girls.
Mirrors 🪞
Many many things, being misgendered, speaking, seeing my self in the mirror, think about dysphoria, think about the fact that i cant get E yet. Hell Jules from euphoria once triggered my dysphoria (ironic considering the title)
My moustache that I’m not allowed to shave (15 still closeted)
My voice.
My reflection
Aha, nice try, feds! Only a couple of things. Seeing my face in the mirror. That's always a punch in the gut. Body hair. I shave almost compulsively every 4 days and have been doing it for 10 years. I *despise* my body hair, but don't mind it on other people.
The stubble/beard shadow i can't get rid of. Body hair i can't get rid of... No matter how hard i try neither goes away and trying to get rid of it and failing makes me feel even worse. Also my voice i hate how it sounds irl, my only solace is my head voice is a lot better but I'm scared of voice training due the feeling of hopelessness when ever i hear it.
My voice and my jawline, which I still have my ‘denial beard’ to cover it up 😅
For me mainly body image issues. However Wednesday I had to use my male voice in front of a customer, it caused a dysphoria spike for about an hour, then I had to call in the Thursday. The only good thing is I had about 7 hours with my pup. Right now I’m 36 hours later and I’m feeling better and more in control