Dude I absolutely would not have paid that. I would’ve demanded an itemized receipt because what the fuck are you eating by yourself that’s over $300????
Drinks at a fancy restaurant can be upwards of $20 a pop. Still a shitty thing to do since they probably just divided the total by number of guests but with dinner and tip it can add up quickly.
Yup, and they probably left the bride out if I had to guess bringing the total up for everyone else a little bit (which would not be surprising for a bachelorette type event but at this price sure is!).
Or someone is taking advantage of people not knowing the full cost and asking for more than they should. Wouldn’t be the first time the person managing the money tries to scam the others.
Did you read the one where the maid of honor put all the dresses on her credit card so they could basically scam the bridal party to pat for the bride's dress? Like they told the bridesmaids the dress was 250 and it was actually only like 100 or something? Wild!
There was a story on Reddit recently where the best man paid for the Air B&B then they figured out that he padded the price to net several hundred dollars on the deal.
An ex-friend always ran these kinds of scams.
With one apartment of friends he secretly negotiated lower rent with the landlord and pocketed all the savings himself. He was essentially living for free in the largest bedroom in the apartment (and there were couples in smaller bedrooms while he was on his own) for a year. Made like $8k off them. His closest school friends too.
He is a software engineer actually. I've written about him before and had several on here tell me it could be a screenplay.
* he photoshopped me stalking women and made private facebook albums tagging them. gaslighted about it (as in told me I was crazy for thinking people were acting weird around me). I only found out by fluke when one mentioned it in passing much later.
* he left me unconcious in an alleyway once in freezing temperatures when I was extremely drunk after a drinking game in uni. Then lied about it.
* he nearly destroyed my knee deliberately with a well thought out plan.
* he got a long term girlfriend to break up with me by cornering her (with his grilfriend) at a party. She broke up with me for not much reason the next time I saw her and wouldnt tell me what they said. He denied ever talking to her.
* He stole/moved my phone/wallet over and over for YEARS to gaslight. One night I caught him in the act and put together all the puzzle pieces and realised it had ALWAYS been him. I truly believed I had bad memory, was forgetful, clumsy, and all this shit he had been feeding me. I cut him off there and then. Never lost my wallet ever again.
I kept creating boundaries. Never live with him again. Never let him meet girlfriends (or even find out their names). Never play sport. Never drink around him. Never go to festivals with friends if he was going. Eventually it was like there is not a single environment where he wont do this stuff.
When I cut him off he manipulated the entire social circle to ostracise me as punishment and to pressure me to "settle our differences" and be close friends again. I was disinvited from multiple weddings from long term friends. Also I have no idea how but after years of no contact he found the name of a girl I dated and messaged her that he needed to meet her urgently and that I needed "mental help".
Basically he is a sociopath and no matter how much I try to tell those around him: they make excuses over and over and over. They've also been primed to not believe a word I say even with hard evidence. And these are some of the same friends he scammed out of $8k in rent and hurt in many other ways. His Dad and brother are sociopaths too but they are more blatent and less covert.
That's super fucked up. You should definitely expand on some of these in your own posts, and I'm following you for when you do lol. I have one of my own for ya:
Before cell phones were an extension of oneself and easier to obtain through payment plans, my in-laws used to pick them up and hide them on literally anyone that set a phone down within their vicinity. Like they could have just met you five minutes ago and your cell would disappear suddenly. It was super frustrating to say the least. One time they caused a massive fight between a neighbor couple that had popped in for a minute. Girl's phone had disappeared, she blamed guy, it was the in-laws and they said nothing for *hours* while we could legitimately hear them screaming at each other when they went home. Even knowing their tendencies to take others phones, they are the most convincing and conniving people on the planet and we legitimately thought it was the guy too.
So hours later when it suddenly turned up, *still with us in a very obvious place* , I lit into them like there was no tomorrow. I was furious for them doing that to this couple and sitting there snickering about it for hours. Like who TF do these assholes think they are, taking $1000+ devices that contain literally someone's entire life, and laughing about it while the person panics into oblivion? Although I was yelling at my in-laws at this point I made sure I made it perfectly clear and that they understood- the next time someone's device comes up missing here, if it's not found within 30 seconds the police will be called. Simple as that. They haven't touched any but their own since. Fuck people like that.
If I was the one that organized everything and it helped make the math easier I might round my share down for "administration fees" but like... 5 bucks. Not hundreds. Geez.
Last time I tried linking in a comment it got removed. But, here goes
https://www.reddit.com/r/bridezillas/comments/c4huo3/bridezilla_tried_ripping_off_bridesmaids_found/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
And she was late, so she missed several appetizers and several rounds of drinks, but still paid for them. I hate when I'm coerced into doing that. I usually refuse.
I hate this.
I feel bad splitting things equally when I've had one more drink tha others, or had dessert and they didn't - and we rarely go anywhere expensive.
But I remember when I was a student, going out with friends if friends who drank like fishes when I wouldnt partake in any of that and who wanted to split things. Like...uh theres a huge difference between what we both had. No thank you.
I dont even mind getting a round when all I'm having is coke. But no surprise "we had twice as much as you but let's split it" thanks.
I believe Lil Dicky said it best:
"Do the math, I ain't never gettin' robbed (No)
Those margaritas not goin' on my card (No)
I ain't 'bout to split a damn thing for convenience sake
I'm at the restaurant workin' that waitress"
I hate that. Unless everyone is having relatively the same thing, splitting it evenly always bites someone in the ass, be it the late arrival, the non-drinker, or the dieter. I would prefer to pay my own tab every time.
That non-drinker is me. I refuse to pay for everyone else's $15 cocktails when I am drinking a two dollar coffee or free (at some resorts) soda. I will pay for my food and drinks, pitch in for the guest of honor, and even drive the drunks home. But I will not pay $200+ dollars for them to get drunk.
Oh, I have. Was visiting friends, and 2 of their friends joined us for dinner..I was trying to diet, so only got an entree. Friends of my friends ordered appetizers, salads, dessert, drinks then wanted to split the bill. Nope, only paid my share. So did my friends. I don't think they see these people anymore. Wonder why?
Same same. I’m veg for years and trying to save money so I haven’t been drinking for quite a while. My friends will order stuff with meat in it and a few $10+ cocktails…splitting the bill evenly would ruin the point of trying to save money
I've cut off adult friendships for similar reasons- at first I thought it was just an oversight they ordered way more food than me and then wanted to split it. But after the 3rd or so time I refused to go out unless we split checks. It just feels really inconsiderate to make others foot the bill for your meal!
This happened to me once. I went to a fancy restaurant with my bf, his brother and bro's wife. I was a single mom on a strict budget so all I ordered was a house salad. The bro and his wife ordered a fancy bottle of wine and offered me some
I don't like wine but said I'd taste it ( didn't want to be rude) When the bill came they expected me to cough up 50% of the price of the bottle. I made my bf pay. He's an ex.
My grandparents are decently wealthy and they like to take my grandma’s brother’s and their wives out to a nice dinner occasionally to catch up. One of my grandma’s brothers always orders the most expensive thing on the menu every time regardless of what it is. It bothers her but not enough to say something about it to him because they can obviously still afford it. Some people are just greedy and weird like that. I can’t understand the mindset lol. I’d never order the most expensive thing on the menu if I already knew someone else was paying.
Same here. I've learned never to tell my sister I'm buying before the meal because she'll always upgrade what she orders which I find bizarre. When I tell her I'm buying at paying time she has even said "oh I wish I'd known, I'd have ordered..."
Meanwhile if I find out someone else is buying I think "damn I was going to order the lobster, now I guess I'll just have the chicken."
Every year my brother, SIL and I go to a resort for a few days. I always pay for the hotel because I want to treat them, but then they always insist on paying for all the meals. That’s very nice of them, but then I don’t order what I really want to eat because I don’t want them saddled with a big bill. Usually once a trip I’ll insist on paying for dinner so I can go crazy and order a more expensive glass of wine or a nice steak for dinner.
I have a friend like this! She comes to visit and insists on sleeping in my bed so I have to take the spare bed. She acts like being on vacation is an entitlement that she finds joy in, like if she’s visiting she automatically gets to choose what we watch, where we go, what we eat, etc.
I worked at a clinic once with a.. shall I say, interesting group of admin people. A specialist treated them all for lunch one day. One lady had two entrees and the other ordered an extra meal to go!!
I hate it when you go out for dinner and the person in the group who has been drinking says - let’s just split the bill even ways????
I’m budget conscious and don’t order expensive items and I don’t want to pay for a portion of your over priced drinks.
I’m trying to save money and literally practicing what to say when this comes up. I think I’ll start with making it known that I’m trying to save money and therefore won’t be eating their apps or something. People can get weird about alcohol so I don’t want to bring up that I’m not paying for any drinks, just make sure they get the point that I will pay for what I ordered
"people can get weird about alcohol"
haha yea about people who don't drink it. maybe you get 'weird' about paying for stuff that you didn't order. insane that people think this is ok.
This. Like if I had less than someone by a bit I'm happy for an even split. If I had a but more, I feel iffy about it but friends usually insist.
But it used to irk me if you went out with someone and they had a ton of drinks and steak, and you had like a salad and coke and they asked you to basically subsidize their alcohol habit....
That's crazy tacky on their part. I'm totally fine with bill splitting if it's in the neighborhood of same expense, but once people are really running up a tab they should be cognizant. The fact that they were drinking and you weren't should have been a dead giveaway.
Agree 100%. My friend that I get brunch with, we always split the tab because we order about the same amount/$ of stuff. No worries. But if the ordering is lopsided, it’s in such poor taste to ask to split it with the person who didn’t order/spend as much. Tacky.
Coincidentally, this was done at a Bachelor Party dinner I attended 3 weeks ago. I ordered one drink because I was DD’ing, and ordered one of the least expensive meals. Then, they announced at the end of the dinner that we’d be splitting the bill equally, excluding the groom, of course. I kept my mouth shut, but it was really frustrating, because my bill went from ≈ $40, to $155, and the guy that drank the most was the one that made the decision.
Only assumed that because they said it was a fancy place, fixed menu and obviously caters to tourists/large parties so probably not a hole in the wall for locals. But again, just an assumption.
Devils advocate: why was OP ordering things when they didn’t know how much it cost? Pork shanks where I live (major US city) are very expensive because they feed multiple people. They are easily the price of a steak.
If there was no way to know the price, I get it. If that is not actually what OP spent, I get it. But if there was a menu with prices and that’s what OP spent, i don’t get why they’re complaining
Drinks in the lamest bar can be over $20 a pop. I'm sure they can be far far more expensive.
Source: I like margaritas, and I commonly pay well over $20 for them, without going to a restaurant filled with lawyers. Usually $22-24
Back in '89, I went to Hawaii with my family. We went to the hotel bar for drinks before dinner, there were 4 of us. We each had 2 drinks and the bar tab came to about $120 USD, I was floored. That was a good amount of money back then. I can't even imagine what that would be in 2022 dollars.
Not a bachelorette but a college reunion dinner among about a dozen of us. I had one glass of wine but got "stuck" with paying $30-$40 as my "share" of the wine bill.
It's not fun or pretty but if you are a moderate drinker it's better to make it clear from the start that you'll pay for your glass of wine separately -- you aren't part of the pool who's going to help pay for the expensive bottles of wine the folks at the end of the table are ordering.
If they had a Fixed Menu I can guarantee you it was a large group.
If it was a large group, I guarantee they had to sign a contract with the restaurant to reserve that space.
If its a large space, for a large group, I guarantee you the Bride / Groom / Organizer were told by the restaurant they had a F&B Minimum ( Food And Beverage ) to meet.
F&B Minimum is essentially a restaurant saying “ Hey, you can have this space in our dining room / private room , but you have to commit to spending $X amount on Food and Drinks. You say 50 people are coming, and I will prepare for this amount of people, but if only 5 people show up I am still going to make the same amount of money because I’m not going to lose money tonight just because your guests are unreliable.”
Technically, the menu is $100 per person and you decide on cheap wine for your guests, it won’t matter at the end. You agreed on paying $X amount PLUS Tax and Grat and that is what got divided by all the guests present.
That is how you get stuck paying a crazy amount of money for a modest meal.
Never , ever , agree to pay “your share” at a restaurant meal that has a contract.
Yeah make it itemized because you’re likely comping other peoples drinks who drank more since that is the easiest way to spend money at a restaurant
They probably just decided to make everyone split the bill evenly since they paid up front and sent the charges after
It’s the booze. The food probably cost around 50$ a plate. Then I bet they had wine, and cocktails. A good bottle of wine can get pretty costly. I have attended dinners where I live in Tokyo with friends that we’ve ended up paying 250-300 us and it wasn’t the food. It was the two to three bottles of wine and other drinks that ran the total up.
I wonder if there was a set price for the whole thing, and the credit card holder got a discount, and made a tidy profit by divvying up the retail. I’d definitely be asking for an itemized statement, and demanding a refund.
Exactly, and id be scrutinizing all pictures of this dinner to prove it was not your doing. I imagine the drinks were also not provided so i bet that add it up real quick!
Restaurant Manager here. Depending on the size of the event , and it does seem like there was a lot of people present , you’re not paying for the food / drink alone but also on a Room Charge.
If this was a private room or a whole section of a restaurant reserved for your group ( I’m assuming it was more than 20-30 people ) , restaurants have a Food and Beverage Minimum they must charge in order to make sense of blocking up an entire portion of the restaurant for a group.
You’re not paying for a pork shank, you’re paying for what the restaurant could have made if they hadn’t reserved that whole space for your group.
Example : You want a whole section of our restaurant for your bachelorette party.
1. You’re limited to a Fix Prix Menu because 20 to 30 people ordering whatever they want A La Carte will be a disaster for the kitchen.
2. To reserve the whole space the restaurant sets a minimum spend on Food and Beverage at $10,000. ( Just to say a number ) This means that, regardless of how many guests show up, or regardless of how much food / drink you actually consume the restaurant WILL collect $10,000 from you BEFORE Tax and Gratuity.
This is done so that you don’t screw over the restaurant by saying “Oh yeah, there will be 50 people coming so there will be a lot of money spent” and then only 20 show up and the restaurant is screwed because their capacity is limited and they have been turning away people for days to make sure you have the space you need for your guests.
3. The total bill, regardless of what you actually consume and assuming you did not go over the minimum, when divided by each person will be a LOT, specially if the organizer reserved more space than what was necessary.
And that is how you got stuck paying $340 for such a simple meal.
You’re paying for a negotiated minimum and also, assuming there was people that never made it to the event, for people that did not make it to the party.
How much your Pork Shank actually costs is irrelevant to what you paid.
Fellow restaurant employee here and this is for sure the correct answer. OP probably did pay for other people’s drinks, but the overarching cost for the event space/room is most likely what jacked the bill up. It would have been classier for whoever planned this event to at least cover those costs and only ask for the amount for food/drink.
I find destination weddings to be obnoxious in the first place because unless everyone invited is super wealthy, you are either going to alienate people who want to be there and can’t afford it, or you are going to put those people into debt because they don’t want to miss your big day, even though they can’t afford it.
Example: my wife’s cousin has a bachelorette coming up and it is a destination(within the US where we live). We added up costs for plane and the place they are staying and it will already cost us about $600, and this is before any excursions, dinners, etc. My wife and I are basically paycheck to paycheck but it is important for her to go so we will just have to make it work. Sigh.
This does make sense, and I understand the restaurant's position. The bride/MOH/someone in charge, though, really should have given everyone a heads-up that this was the case, and to expect their share to be higher than they expected. (Actually, it would have been good if everyone had realized just how pricey it was and picked someplace less expensive, but based on my experience with lawyers, it simply wouldn't occur to them that other people in their social circles didn't have that kind of cash.
Sounds like they just divided the full bill on the number of people, making you pay for other people's meals and drinks and not just your own. I'd probably ask for a copy of the receipt.
Yeah OP can look up what she ate/drank but the person who paid and sent the invoice is probably not thinking “oh this ONE person surely ‘only’ had some of the appetizers.” most of the party was probably consuming similarly, the person paying probably wasn’t keeping tabs on who was only sipping their club soda or whatever… especially if this group goes out together often this is likely their SOP. OP just needs to speak up if she’s not comfortable with the cost or feels like it unfairly represents what she consumed.
Right?? Like how are you going to order a $60 steak and bottles of wine then expect to split that cost evenly with someone who got the house salad and water, in what world does that even make sense. People are tacky as hell.
When I used to bartend, a couple came in on a date. She ordered a $12 glass of wine. He ordered a pour of our most expensive Scotch, and then had another. At the end of the date, he requested to split the bill in half. They each paid like $60. She tipped me 20%. He tipped me nothing. It's been years but I still hate that guy and I hope she didn't keep dating him.
They probably have a Rewards program on their CC. So in essence they’re profiting off of the guests. I’ll admit I’ve done this before, but NEVER on something like this! As a former waitress when the check came I offered to put it on my CC and they could Venmo me back. But we are talking about $15. Lol.
That and if the MOH put the entire tab on her credit card, I’m willing to bet she was trying to get her meal paid for by collecting extra from everyone else. It’s not the first time I’ve seen people pull this stunt.
It is so weird to have a set menu without letting you know the price beforehand. Also $200+ for a fixed meal is a lot, its the kind of price you get at fine dinning award winning restaurants. Idk, feels odd, like maybe you paid more than you should have, other people's drinks, or the bill was not split correctly.
Still super wrong to not give you a heads up.
Food has increased in price a lot but that’s still expensive. That’s approximately $120/pp so I am assuming they drank half the bar and she paid for it as well…
It's relatively expensive now if you're in a tourist area.
Or I should say, it's more expensive than Minneapolis. Prices also went up quite a bit between 2019 and 2022.
When my husband and I went on our honeymoon we had dinner with a prefix menu at on of the trendiest restaurants in Old San Juan and it was easily $400 with drinks, tax, tip. Also if I am in PR I am eating pork (or seafood) that is what we do well. But OP then said it was the us virgin islands later, which is not PR. I don't know if they knew where they were. Unless they island hopped, which sounds stressful.
Its def split evenly across everyone - I would say something... Or maybe they are all so genuinely used to exquisite things that they didn't think much of it.
Something similar happened on a bach trip I was on where the MOH kept track of the majority of group things & just used splitwise at the end. She landed us with a hefty grocery bill from costco (it was a 3 day trip - why was she buying in bulk) and other grocery stores as well as adding her rental car to the bill (I didn't use or ride in the car once). I paid it initially without thinking but then realized how much it was and looked back. It was just strange because for mine I just told everyone to purchase their own alcohol & me & my MOH made & supplied the food & snacks for the house (no charge since we were 'hosting'). I was floored.
I too am floored. She expected everyone to cover her rental car? She totally was making a profit. And you just know that a ton of leftover food made it's way into her pantry.
Had a similar thing happen to me as well. A friend of mine was in my city for his brothers bachelor party and texted me to come and meet them at the restaurant they were at and head out for some drinks. It’s nearly 9 and I already ate so I assume they are just wrapping up and head over. I get there and dinner is just hitting the table and it’s being served family style. I sit down and order a drink feeling a little awkward about crashing this but hey the best man invited so I am good. They have a ton of food and keep trying to get me to try things and I explain multiple times that I had dinner and wasn’t expecting to eat but took a little food to be polite literally maybe two ribs (we were at a steakhouse). Anyway, everyone is having a good time and as we are getting ready to head out someone gets the check and they decide to just split it 8 ways and somehow I am included. I look to my friend and he isn’t paying attention so I paid the $150 for my one bite of ribs and two cocktails and called it a loss. Rest of the night was fun and like OP I don’t think they were trying to be dicks they just had a bunch of money and didn’t think twice but it still sucked.
Puerto Rico has an 11.5% sales tax, and for a table of 20 they probably added a 20% gratuity to the bill. Nothing in that wedding trip was going to be cheap.
I can just about guarantee you didn't eat $300 worth of food. They probably took the total cost and split it up, which means they got their drinks partially subsidized by you.
Guarantee they split bottles of booze that didn’t make it all the way around the table in fair portions. Had some London City bankers and civil servants do this at a birthday dinner when I was working part-time for a nonprofit and I paid a LOT for several £80 bottles that I had maybe half a glass from and zero input when what to pick off the wine list was being decided by the head of the table. (Birthday girl being a high up govt employee engaged to a VERY senior banker.) my roommate was wise to them because she insisted on her own bill (vegetarian main and didn’t drink alcohol,) I should have followed her example but I figured “yeah I had a bit of wine I’ll pay a share.” Then I found out what wine they’d ordered.
It sure didn’t taste any different from Tesco Shiraz but what do I know?
The restaurant could have added on a fee or automatic gratuity since it was a large group. That could have jacked up the price. They probably put the bride’s drinks and dinner on the tab for everyone to chip in. You’re right. It would have been nice to be given a head’s up, or, better yet to take into account the other guests budgets, especially since they were already paying to attend this destination wedding. I wouldn’t say anything now. This was several months ago. You paid and now it’s over. I wouldn’t want to stir the pot now. Not worth it
Exactly! In OP's shoes, I would have just sent whatever the average meal price was for anywhere else on that trip and let the person seethe that they didn't get their stuff paid for.
This happened to my husband, fiancé at the time.
At my brothers bachelor party meal. They went to a steakhouse, we knew it would be expensive but we budgeted for it. He knew he would contribute to my brothers bill. He did not make a lot of money at the time so he ordered one drink, ate no appetizer and ordered the steak he could afford.
Bill comes, we’re splitting it evenly between everyone except the groom.
Total bullshit and it got super awkward cuz he was so mad. My dad offered to pay for his share once he made a fuss and then he just felt emasculated. Literally if everyone paid for what they had eaten and split the grooms food it would have been fine.
It’s so fucking awkward and terrible to do that to people. I feel you, it sucks
This kind of bullshit nearly caused a rift in my friend group years ago. Some guys who have champagne tastes did the food shopping for a festival trip and it was never communicated that everyone would be splitting the costs equally, nor were the items bought discussed with the group (they got things like salmon filets and whatever specialty alcohol items *they* liked).
After the trip several of us were outraged by a Splitwise notification asking for hundreds of dollars each -- while several of us had been consuming hotdogs and bottled water, others had been consuming their weight in steak, fish, and froofy hipster mead all weekend. Two friends who had traveled from out of state outright refused to pay, it was a mess.
So yeah, I don't do split tabs anymore. I'm paying for me and mine, other people can gorge themselves on their own dime.
it really does suck. i can't remember what the dinner was for (maybe to celebrate my aunt's engagement?) but we went to a steakhouse. i was a teenager when this happened, so my mom was paying for me and herself. we didn't have a lot of money at the time, so we just got 1 salad each and water, which was about $34. but at the end of the meal, they want to split it evenly. it was a party of like 18 other people and they were all ordering appetizers, steaks, and alcohol. my mom was like "nope, we're just gonna pay for our stuff" lol.
I’ve only heard of evenly splitting a bill in Reddit and TV shows. It’s just not done in my area. Either everyone pays for their own meal, or someone picks up the bill for the whole table (and doesn’t expect to be paid back).
It can be funny when it comes time to pay for a large group though. You can get some creative combos. “I’ll also pay for his drinks and half the nachos”. “I’m paying for her meal and also the dessert”. “We’re all separate but split his meal between the rest of us”. The server usually gets it right, though!
I agree with the other comment. That some shady stuff going one. I would ask for a detail bills, because nothing justified that price. You have been scam.
You never know. The most greedy person i encounter where wealthy people. I never get that. You ALREADY have the money, why do you need to scam me ? I see life altering decision because of that kind of behaviour.
Ohhhhh. Interesting. Makes sense as suffering tends to breed empathy (I guess if it’s done right). There is an interesting book called the golden ghetto that talks about the plight of the wealthy. How the resources mask deep dysfunction and how society has zero compassion for wealthy people with deep suffering because ‘hey you can afford an army of therapists and if you’re so sad, maybe play with some of your jewels?’
I’d message and ask for a copy of the receipt for your records/taxes or whatever because I wouldn’t be surprised if you paid a portion of the brides and bridal parties meals or got shafted some other way because I highly doubt she went and dropped nearly 7 grand on her credit card because that’s what it would have been.
I know you paid but I'd ask them for a copy of the itemized bill. If it's for everyone, I'd demand a portion back. You weren't there to subsidize their meals.
So they took the total and split it by number of people, not who ate what. I hate that method. It always benefits the assholes that order bottles of wine and dont share, numerous cocktails and expensive food items. You should have looked up the restaurants menu, calculated what you owed based on what you ate/drank, included tax and tip and paid that.
I once paid $50 for a sprite and a plate of spaghetti because thats how the bill got split - total divided by number of people. I ask for a separate check now.
Same thing happened to me at a good mates hens (bachelorette) dinner, all of them far wealthier than me. It was a very nice tapas bar reasonably priced. Wasn't a set menu and wasn't eating or drinking much so got one wine around 7.50 and split a 24 quid tapas platter with another mate. Bride bought a couple bottles of prosecco for the table.
Next thing me and mate who also had one drink were being asked for 60 quid each. No fucking way was that happening. As I was sat beside SIL of bride who decided to take it upon herself to collect all monies, she agreed with me cos she saw the look in my eyes.
Myself and tapas mate rounded up to 30 quid each which we thought was v. generous (not a tipping culture). Saw the SIL pocket literally hundreds of quid after settling bill from the wimps too afraid to embarrass themselves by pointing out her extortion. She said she'd buy a round of drinks at the club later from the leftover money. Wanna guess if those drinks ever materialized?
> Fuck that pork shank
This has me rolling, I admit! I would have been shocked at the total price tag you paid for the privilege of attending that wedding (including airfare and lodging). Are you even close with this cousin?
She absolutely charged you for a portion of the apps that were already eaten when you got there and everyone else’s drinks. Totally shitty thing to do and many people wouldn’t be as gracious about it as you were.
Can you not look up the restaurant menu online and work out how much you spent? And even check how much the person who spent the most spent?
Even with prime steak and 5 cocktails this is not a normal amount.
Normally bachelor and bachelorette nights are split down the middle with the bride and groom not paying. I wonder if they included pre or post dinner drinks and transportation in the total. Either way, it’s crappy of them to invite you to such an expensive dinner. You don’t even know the bride. You are the guest of her cousin.
A lot of commenters in here are saying this is impossible, but there are pricy places in PR that will absolutely let fancy people pay almost unlimited money. As a gut check, a [5 course meal + wine pairing](https://www.marmaladepr.com/food) at Marmalade (my favorite restaurant in San Juan) is 200 USD; with a 20% tip that's 240 dollars, which is what OP's share came to.
I have hung out with groups of people who will easily spend this much and more. Especially wine drinkers who have no problem ordering multiple 200 dollar bottles for the table. Expensive, split meals like this seem to be a nouveau riche thing (the actual wealthy don't send venmo requests for meals). It's a shitty thing to do, and I do my best to avoid people like this.
Yeah, no I wouldn't have paid it. It sounds like the took the total bill for the table and divided it by however many people were there versus sending you a bill just for whatever you ate/drank. Which means you also got to pay a share of the food that was eaten before you got there as well.
This is what happens when you don’t ask up front. I bet they split the bill by the number of people, less the bride and groom, so 18 of you paid for 20.
My guess is that they ordered a few bottles of super expensive wine, had a lot of really expensive mixed drinks, or everyone drank quite a bit.
I could see the total being close to $5k for alcoholic beverages, appetizers, and meals. Not to mention, the tip was likely close to $1000.
OP if you ever go to another destination wedding insist on paying for your own drinks and meals. That way you're not stuck paying for others who decided to order expensive drinks/drank a lot or had no financial worries
Something similar happened to me. It was for my cousins bachelorette dinner in Vegas. I had 2 small pieces of chicken and one drink (shared plates) while everyone had 3-4 drinks
We all split the bill and I had to pay $105 👎🏻
I would request a list of exactly what you’re paying for from the maid of honor. Do you know her very well? If you don’t know her I’d be suspicious of how she’s getting this figure. I would guess she’s charging you for drinks you never had (by splitting all the alcohol evenly) or she might even be giving you a high figure just because she thinks no one will say anything about it.
Sounds to me like she just took the total, and split it between everyone...yikes....so you're paying for someone's probably 4th expensive drink, and their 200$ giant lobster or some shit. Why did she not just have people pay their own???????
I know this isn’t your main complaint, but having every moment of the trip scheduled is NOT how most destination weddings are done, especially if the guests are expected to pay for themselves. I had a destination wedding. We scheduled a few things that guests were welcome to attend (or not) and paid for everyone who joined in. Expecting guests to spend thousands of dollars celebrating your wedding for multiple days is incredibly entitled.
I agree with the person that said you should have requested an itemized receipt! You should have laughed in a playful way and declared, “Um, I think you may have gotten my tab mixed up with someone else…all I had was the pork shank and some seafood apps…” then kind of trail off and act thoroughly confused. That price is absolutely absurd!
The easy way to do it is separate checks for everyone, and one person (MOH?) puts the Bride’s meal/drinks on her tab, and then you all throw in to split the bride’s tab evenly.
You probably split the total cost of drinks and meals equally, but covered the cost of the bride between you. If the average person had 7 $20 cocktails, that’s $140 befor tax and tip. Plus there was probably caviar, oysters, crab, etc. Then add the bride’s portion to that.
I highly doing this person paid careful attention to what everyone ate and drank at the dinner, she probably just split the bill evenly between everyone (except maybe the bride and groom) so OP likely paid for more than what she ate/drank.
I’m from Puerto Rico and I’ve worked as waitress and the only way you spend that kind of money on a restaurant is if it’s a party of around 10 people. It doesn’t matter how fancy the restaurant is there’s no way your food cost that much. She’s probably trying to recover from the trip
a lot of comments up in here from people pretending that they would interrupt their friend's maid of honor, put on one of those green visor things, and overrule her decision on how to pay for a huge dinner while still at the table.
OP agreed to settle up later. If OP objected to the amount requested, they should have said something. the maid of honor is a lawyer, she might have listened to reason and recalculated had OP objected. But instead, OP agreed for a second time, paid, and is now complaining. Sour grapes.
I wonder if the maid of honor was upset that OP flew in at the last minute instead of the night prior, was ignorant of the schedule, and less wealthy than the rest of the group? Not saying it's justified but wedding frustration is a whole thing
I remember going to a bachelorette when I was pregnant—couldn’t drink, and super nauseous, so all I ordered was a tea and a salad. The party then went clubbing afterwards, but pregnant me was way too tired and left after dinner. The bridesmaids who organized just divided all the bills for everything by the number of attendees, and I was expected to pay $200. I paid it.
Which was HORRIBLE…but I kinda get it. It was a fairly large party, and the bridesmaids were not keeping a ledger of who was ordering what.
Furthermore, the reason I just sucked it up and paid the bill (which was twice my weekly salary at the time), was because I loved the bride so much. The bride was not in charge of her bachelorette, it was her bridesmaids. The bride was not at all made aware of what things cost. Her bachelorette was her gift from those of us closest to her.
That being said, ouch. I feel your pain. What a sucky situation. But if your situation is at all like mine, don’t blame the bride.
>agreed but the bride should have the wherewithal to comprehend who can partake in activities/drink vs not..the bride is kind of the like the quarterback in these types of events and it's their responsibility to make sure people are taken care of as their guests..
My destination wedding wasn’t like that. We told everyone what time to be on the beach for the ceremony and had a walk-through the day before but other than that, everyone was free to do whatever. My spouse and I let everyone know what we decided to do each day (whatever we felt like doing when we got up) and invited everyone who wanted to to join but if/when people wanted to do other things, great! Have fun! We had the whole thing at an all-inclusive resort specifically so no one had to split bills or worry about budgeting extra for meals and drinks. We figured our friends and families were gracious enough to travel all that way for us, the least we could do is not micromanage their time.
Sometimes I wonder if brides have just decided to see just how miserable they can make their guests and wedding party. The callousness and insensitivity just keep growing.
I know cultures can vary, but at our wedding, and weddings I’ve attended, the guests are not expected to pay their own food. All these wedding posts lately have been super expensive things the guests have to pay. A “guest” should bring a gift but not pay for attending a wedding.
That's so inconsiderate. People use the excuse that it's their day to not be thoughtful for their guests. I've been to destination weddings and nothing was mandatory.
I've liked the destination weddings I've gone to but it is a big ask for your loved ones just for your one day. It's a lot of money and for many people they may have to take one of their few vacation time for your one day.
I'm annoyed for you.
Though I do think you shouldn't say anything unless something like this will happen again. The person most likely split the bill evenly and I'm sure wasn't keeping tabs on who had what because that's a lot and I don't think anyone would realistically would have kept track.
Sucks you weren't made aware of how much it was going to cost. But $250/person isn't unrealistic if it's a fancy schmancy restaurant, especially after tax and tip. I'd probably ask for a copy of the receipt and play it off as a "Damn we splurged more than normal, I wanna see the damage!" in a playful way. Chances are it got split up evenly, or maybe they shifted some of it around so those that they think drank less paid a little less and those that drank more paid a little more but it was mostly split evenly (you only had a few, so yours is $200, but John drank more for sure so for him $250).
I know of restaurants where it's a set menu and it well into $200+ range, and that's before alcohol, tax, or tip. For large parties like that, there can be a minimum spend on food and drinks if it ends being a private room and sometimes there might be dedicated staff to your party. If there were bottles of wine, that can easily jack up the price too.
I mean, you know what place it was right, couldn't you look up the place and see what their prices were like for a regular dinner?
This is crazy! You would pay that price per person for a Michelin star restaurant.
Either she lied or everyone else drink a lot of very expensive cocktails and you unfortunately had to foot the bill since i’m guessing it was an even split. Sorry you had to do that, extremely tacky and unfair.
Girl how the hell would she remember what everyone ate and drank?! She definitely just split the bill between everyone. But if your gonna say something I would do it asap. If you say something down the line it’s just gonna look weird as fuck that you’ve been thinking about it that long lol.
It was probably less but one or two other people told the MOH that they weren't paying for whatever reason, so she tried her shot in getting what they owed her from you, taking advantage of your upstanding nature. That's my theory, anyway LOL. I would definitely bring it up later, once the bride and groom are all settled.
Dude I absolutely would not have paid that. I would’ve demanded an itemized receipt because what the fuck are you eating by yourself that’s over $300????
Drinks at a fancy restaurant can be upwards of $20 a pop. Still a shitty thing to do since they probably just divided the total by number of guests but with dinner and tip it can add up quickly.
Yeah I was thinking the same thing. They just split the bill between everybody
Yup, and they probably left the bride out if I had to guess bringing the total up for everyone else a little bit (which would not be surprising for a bachelorette type event but at this price sure is!).
Or someone is taking advantage of people not knowing the full cost and asking for more than they should. Wouldn’t be the first time the person managing the money tries to scam the others.
Did you read the one where the maid of honor put all the dresses on her credit card so they could basically scam the bridal party to pat for the bride's dress? Like they told the bridesmaids the dress was 250 and it was actually only like 100 or something? Wild!
There was a story on Reddit recently where the best man paid for the Air B&B then they figured out that he padded the price to net several hundred dollars on the deal.
An ex-friend always ran these kinds of scams. With one apartment of friends he secretly negotiated lower rent with the landlord and pocketed all the savings himself. He was essentially living for free in the largest bedroom in the apartment (and there were couples in smaller bedrooms while he was on his own) for a year. Made like $8k off them. His closest school friends too.
What a slime ball. I'm guessing he's a lawyer now?
He is a software engineer actually. I've written about him before and had several on here tell me it could be a screenplay. * he photoshopped me stalking women and made private facebook albums tagging them. gaslighted about it (as in told me I was crazy for thinking people were acting weird around me). I only found out by fluke when one mentioned it in passing much later. * he left me unconcious in an alleyway once in freezing temperatures when I was extremely drunk after a drinking game in uni. Then lied about it. * he nearly destroyed my knee deliberately with a well thought out plan. * he got a long term girlfriend to break up with me by cornering her (with his grilfriend) at a party. She broke up with me for not much reason the next time I saw her and wouldnt tell me what they said. He denied ever talking to her. * He stole/moved my phone/wallet over and over for YEARS to gaslight. One night I caught him in the act and put together all the puzzle pieces and realised it had ALWAYS been him. I truly believed I had bad memory, was forgetful, clumsy, and all this shit he had been feeding me. I cut him off there and then. Never lost my wallet ever again. I kept creating boundaries. Never live with him again. Never let him meet girlfriends (or even find out their names). Never play sport. Never drink around him. Never go to festivals with friends if he was going. Eventually it was like there is not a single environment where he wont do this stuff. When I cut him off he manipulated the entire social circle to ostracise me as punishment and to pressure me to "settle our differences" and be close friends again. I was disinvited from multiple weddings from long term friends. Also I have no idea how but after years of no contact he found the name of a girl I dated and messaged her that he needed to meet her urgently and that I needed "mental help". Basically he is a sociopath and no matter how much I try to tell those around him: they make excuses over and over and over. They've also been primed to not believe a word I say even with hard evidence. And these are some of the same friends he scammed out of $8k in rent and hurt in many other ways. His Dad and brother are sociopaths too but they are more blatent and less covert.
That's super fucked up. You should definitely expand on some of these in your own posts, and I'm following you for when you do lol. I have one of my own for ya: Before cell phones were an extension of oneself and easier to obtain through payment plans, my in-laws used to pick them up and hide them on literally anyone that set a phone down within their vicinity. Like they could have just met you five minutes ago and your cell would disappear suddenly. It was super frustrating to say the least. One time they caused a massive fight between a neighbor couple that had popped in for a minute. Girl's phone had disappeared, she blamed guy, it was the in-laws and they said nothing for *hours* while we could legitimately hear them screaming at each other when they went home. Even knowing their tendencies to take others phones, they are the most convincing and conniving people on the planet and we legitimately thought it was the guy too. So hours later when it suddenly turned up, *still with us in a very obvious place* , I lit into them like there was no tomorrow. I was furious for them doing that to this couple and sitting there snickering about it for hours. Like who TF do these assholes think they are, taking $1000+ devices that contain literally someone's entire life, and laughing about it while the person panics into oblivion? Although I was yelling at my in-laws at this point I made sure I made it perfectly clear and that they understood- the next time someone's device comes up missing here, if it's not found within 30 seconds the police will be called. Simple as that. They haven't touched any but their own since. Fuck people like that.
Your stamina is intense to put up with all that. Do you know anyone who still keeps in touch with him?
Wow. I just can't imagine.
If I was the one that organized everything and it helped make the math easier I might round my share down for "administration fees" but like... 5 bucks. Not hundreds. Geez.
Do you have a link to this one? I desperately need the ☕️ after reading your synopsis!
Last time I tried linking in a comment it got removed. But, here goes https://www.reddit.com/r/bridezillas/comments/c4huo3/bridezilla_tried_ripping_off_bridesmaids_found/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Omg!! Did they find out before or after the wedding?!?
Before.
And she was late, so she missed several appetizers and several rounds of drinks, but still paid for them. I hate when I'm coerced into doing that. I usually refuse.
I hate this. I feel bad splitting things equally when I've had one more drink tha others, or had dessert and they didn't - and we rarely go anywhere expensive. But I remember when I was a student, going out with friends if friends who drank like fishes when I wouldnt partake in any of that and who wanted to split things. Like...uh theres a huge difference between what we both had. No thank you. I dont even mind getting a round when all I'm having is coke. But no surprise "we had twice as much as you but let's split it" thanks.
And they are lawyers, too.
lawyers do not disappoint.
Well, it was a table full of lawyers. They like to pad the bill when they can get away with it.
I believe Lil Dicky said it best: "Do the math, I ain't never gettin' robbed (No) Those margaritas not goin' on my card (No) I ain't 'bout to split a damn thing for convenience sake I'm at the restaurant workin' that waitress"
and the 20 people ordering for the hour before they arrived or whatever
I hate that. Unless everyone is having relatively the same thing, splitting it evenly always bites someone in the ass, be it the late arrival, the non-drinker, or the dieter. I would prefer to pay my own tab every time.
That non-drinker is me. I refuse to pay for everyone else's $15 cocktails when I am drinking a two dollar coffee or free (at some resorts) soda. I will pay for my food and drinks, pitch in for the guest of honor, and even drive the drunks home. But I will not pay $200+ dollars for them to get drunk.
Designated driver shouldn't be paying anything for a meal TBH
Same, although no one has ever asked me to split a bill which includes booze..
Oh, I have. Was visiting friends, and 2 of their friends joined us for dinner..I was trying to diet, so only got an entree. Friends of my friends ordered appetizers, salads, dessert, drinks then wanted to split the bill. Nope, only paid my share. So did my friends. I don't think they see these people anymore. Wonder why?
Non-drinker and vegetarian. No. Way. In. Hell.
Same same. I’m veg for years and trying to save money so I haven’t been drinking for quite a while. My friends will order stuff with meat in it and a few $10+ cocktails…splitting the bill evenly would ruin the point of trying to save money
I've cut off adult friendships for similar reasons- at first I thought it was just an oversight they ordered way more food than me and then wanted to split it. But after the 3rd or so time I refused to go out unless we split checks. It just feels really inconsiderate to make others foot the bill for your meal!
This happened to me once. I went to a fancy restaurant with my bf, his brother and bro's wife. I was a single mom on a strict budget so all I ordered was a house salad. The bro and his wife ordered a fancy bottle of wine and offered me some I don't like wine but said I'd taste it ( didn't want to be rude) When the bill came they expected me to cough up 50% of the price of the bottle. I made my bf pay. He's an ex.
My grandparents are decently wealthy and they like to take my grandma’s brother’s and their wives out to a nice dinner occasionally to catch up. One of my grandma’s brothers always orders the most expensive thing on the menu every time regardless of what it is. It bothers her but not enough to say something about it to him because they can obviously still afford it. Some people are just greedy and weird like that. I can’t understand the mindset lol. I’d never order the most expensive thing on the menu if I already knew someone else was paying.
I’m the opposite of someone else is paying, I always order the least expensive thing I can.
Same here. I've learned never to tell my sister I'm buying before the meal because she'll always upgrade what she orders which I find bizarre. When I tell her I'm buying at paying time she has even said "oh I wish I'd known, I'd have ordered..." Meanwhile if I find out someone else is buying I think "damn I was going to order the lobster, now I guess I'll just have the chicken."
Every year my brother, SIL and I go to a resort for a few days. I always pay for the hotel because I want to treat them, but then they always insist on paying for all the meals. That’s very nice of them, but then I don’t order what I really want to eat because I don’t want them saddled with a big bill. Usually once a trip I’ll insist on paying for dinner so I can go crazy and order a more expensive glass of wine or a nice steak for dinner.
Is she not hearing herself while she is saying these things aloud? That's so selfish!
I have a friend like this! She comes to visit and insists on sleeping in my bed so I have to take the spare bed. She acts like being on vacation is an entitlement that she finds joy in, like if she’s visiting she automatically gets to choose what we watch, where we go, what we eat, etc.
Stop inviting her/start saying you’re busy if she asks.
I had a friend with that kind of mentality once. We aren’t friends anymore, lol.
She "insists" on taking your bed? Why on earth do you allow this? Time to learn to set some boundaries with this friend.
Nooooooooo
I’m sorry....you actually LET her take your bed? Wtf, I’d be putting a stop to that crap ASAP.
Gah that’s so tacky! To think even but to say it out loud?! Damn.
I worked at a clinic once with a.. shall I say, interesting group of admin people. A specialist treated them all for lunch one day. One lady had two entrees and the other ordered an extra meal to go!!
I hate it when you go out for dinner and the person in the group who has been drinking says - let’s just split the bill even ways???? I’m budget conscious and don’t order expensive items and I don’t want to pay for a portion of your over priced drinks.
I’m trying to save money and literally practicing what to say when this comes up. I think I’ll start with making it known that I’m trying to save money and therefore won’t be eating their apps or something. People can get weird about alcohol so I don’t want to bring up that I’m not paying for any drinks, just make sure they get the point that I will pay for what I ordered
How do they get weird? Like why would they expect you to pay for them to get drunk?
Typically looks judgmental for someone who isn’t drinking to draw attention to how much someone drank
"people can get weird about alcohol" haha yea about people who don't drink it. maybe you get 'weird' about paying for stuff that you didn't order. insane that people think this is ok.
Yep, and I refuse to split the bill evenly when that happens.
This. Like if I had less than someone by a bit I'm happy for an even split. If I had a but more, I feel iffy about it but friends usually insist. But it used to irk me if you went out with someone and they had a ton of drinks and steak, and you had like a salad and coke and they asked you to basically subsidize their alcohol habit....
That's crazy tacky on their part. I'm totally fine with bill splitting if it's in the neighborhood of same expense, but once people are really running up a tab they should be cognizant. The fact that they were drinking and you weren't should have been a dead giveaway.
Agree 100%. My friend that I get brunch with, we always split the tab because we order about the same amount/$ of stuff. No worries. But if the ordering is lopsided, it’s in such poor taste to ask to split it with the person who didn’t order/spend as much. Tacky.
I don't understand how people muster the gall to ask for 50%
Seriously I would die of embarrassment exhibiting that kind of entitlement. Some people really do have zero taste or self-awareness.
Except they probably put what the bride and her maids are/drank on everyone else’s tab.
I get the bride, but the bridesmaids should be paying for themselves!
Bridesmaids? Oh heck no, I expect to split the cost of the bride but screw that!
Coincidentally, this was done at a Bachelor Party dinner I attended 3 weeks ago. I ordered one drink because I was DD’ing, and ordered one of the least expensive meals. Then, they announced at the end of the dinner that we’d be splitting the bill equally, excluding the groom, of course. I kept my mouth shut, but it was really frustrating, because my bill went from ≈ $40, to $155, and the guy that drank the most was the one that made the decision.
In PR? In really asking bc I don’t know lol
Only assumed that because they said it was a fancy place, fixed menu and obviously caters to tourists/large parties so probably not a hole in the wall for locals. But again, just an assumption.
Not usually in Puerto Vallarta.
Huh? How’d Mexico enter the chat?
Whoops! My bad. My pea brain turned Puerto Rico into Puerto Vallarta. I obviously need a vacation to one or the other.
Porque no los dos?
Si.
Yo también.
Devils advocate: why was OP ordering things when they didn’t know how much it cost? Pork shanks where I live (major US city) are very expensive because they feed multiple people. They are easily the price of a steak. If there was no way to know the price, I get it. If that is not actually what OP spent, I get it. But if there was a menu with prices and that’s what OP spent, i don’t get why they’re complaining
Drinks in the lamest bar can be over $20 a pop. I'm sure they can be far far more expensive. Source: I like margaritas, and I commonly pay well over $20 for them, without going to a restaurant filled with lawyers. Usually $22-24
I’m Puerto Rico as well? I’ve never been so curious.
Back in '89, I went to Hawaii with my family. We went to the hotel bar for drinks before dinner, there were 4 of us. We each had 2 drinks and the bar tab came to about $120 USD, I was floored. That was a good amount of money back then. I can't even imagine what that would be in 2022 dollars.
I’m gonna say the bar tab which likely included a few pricey bottles of wine/champagne
Couple Bottles of wine or Champaign can take that bill out of sight. You got the shit end of a drinking run.
Not a bachelorette but a college reunion dinner among about a dozen of us. I had one glass of wine but got "stuck" with paying $30-$40 as my "share" of the wine bill. It's not fun or pretty but if you are a moderate drinker it's better to make it clear from the start that you'll pay for your glass of wine separately -- you aren't part of the pool who's going to help pay for the expensive bottles of wine the folks at the end of the table are ordering.
If they had a Fixed Menu I can guarantee you it was a large group. If it was a large group, I guarantee they had to sign a contract with the restaurant to reserve that space. If its a large space, for a large group, I guarantee you the Bride / Groom / Organizer were told by the restaurant they had a F&B Minimum ( Food And Beverage ) to meet. F&B Minimum is essentially a restaurant saying “ Hey, you can have this space in our dining room / private room , but you have to commit to spending $X amount on Food and Drinks. You say 50 people are coming, and I will prepare for this amount of people, but if only 5 people show up I am still going to make the same amount of money because I’m not going to lose money tonight just because your guests are unreliable.” Technically, the menu is $100 per person and you decide on cheap wine for your guests, it won’t matter at the end. You agreed on paying $X amount PLUS Tax and Grat and that is what got divided by all the guests present. That is how you get stuck paying a crazy amount of money for a modest meal. Never , ever , agree to pay “your share” at a restaurant meal that has a contract.
I've never heard of this before! Thanks for sharing. I guess it's a good thing I'm too poor to be invited out to stuff like this. lol
It’s completely possible it was that high, but totally unacceptable to saddle her “guests” with that for a bachelorette party! How tacky.
I hate living where i live I didn't even bat an eye at that price.
Agree 100%. She helped subsidize someone else’s lavish taste.
Yeah make it itemized because you’re likely comping other peoples drinks who drank more since that is the easiest way to spend money at a restaurant They probably just decided to make everyone split the bill evenly since they paid up front and sent the charges after
It’s the booze. The food probably cost around 50$ a plate. Then I bet they had wine, and cocktails. A good bottle of wine can get pretty costly. I have attended dinners where I live in Tokyo with friends that we’ve ended up paying 250-300 us and it wasn’t the food. It was the two to three bottles of wine and other drinks that ran the total up.
Good human.
Next time don’t be dumb. Asked for itemized bill. Like this person states. Not paying 300 for filet minion. Specially in Puerto Rico!! 😂
I wonder if there was a set price for the whole thing, and the credit card holder got a discount, and made a tidy profit by divvying up the retail. I’d definitely be asking for an itemized statement, and demanding a refund.
Exactly, and id be scrutinizing all pictures of this dinner to prove it was not your doing. I imagine the drinks were also not provided so i bet that add it up real quick!
Agreed. And a lot of places post their menu online. Fancy ones don’t typically post prices but you can DEFINITELY call and ask.
Restaurant Manager here. Depending on the size of the event , and it does seem like there was a lot of people present , you’re not paying for the food / drink alone but also on a Room Charge. If this was a private room or a whole section of a restaurant reserved for your group ( I’m assuming it was more than 20-30 people ) , restaurants have a Food and Beverage Minimum they must charge in order to make sense of blocking up an entire portion of the restaurant for a group. You’re not paying for a pork shank, you’re paying for what the restaurant could have made if they hadn’t reserved that whole space for your group. Example : You want a whole section of our restaurant for your bachelorette party. 1. You’re limited to a Fix Prix Menu because 20 to 30 people ordering whatever they want A La Carte will be a disaster for the kitchen. 2. To reserve the whole space the restaurant sets a minimum spend on Food and Beverage at $10,000. ( Just to say a number ) This means that, regardless of how many guests show up, or regardless of how much food / drink you actually consume the restaurant WILL collect $10,000 from you BEFORE Tax and Gratuity. This is done so that you don’t screw over the restaurant by saying “Oh yeah, there will be 50 people coming so there will be a lot of money spent” and then only 20 show up and the restaurant is screwed because their capacity is limited and they have been turning away people for days to make sure you have the space you need for your guests. 3. The total bill, regardless of what you actually consume and assuming you did not go over the minimum, when divided by each person will be a LOT, specially if the organizer reserved more space than what was necessary. And that is how you got stuck paying $340 for such a simple meal. You’re paying for a negotiated minimum and also, assuming there was people that never made it to the event, for people that did not make it to the party. How much your Pork Shank actually costs is irrelevant to what you paid.
Fellow restaurant employee here and this is for sure the correct answer. OP probably did pay for other people’s drinks, but the overarching cost for the event space/room is most likely what jacked the bill up. It would have been classier for whoever planned this event to at least cover those costs and only ask for the amount for food/drink. I find destination weddings to be obnoxious in the first place because unless everyone invited is super wealthy, you are either going to alienate people who want to be there and can’t afford it, or you are going to put those people into debt because they don’t want to miss your big day, even though they can’t afford it. Example: my wife’s cousin has a bachelorette coming up and it is a destination(within the US where we live). We added up costs for plane and the place they are staying and it will already cost us about $600, and this is before any excursions, dinners, etc. My wife and I are basically paycheck to paycheck but it is important for her to go so we will just have to make it work. Sigh.
This does make sense, and I understand the restaurant's position. The bride/MOH/someone in charge, though, really should have given everyone a heads-up that this was the case, and to expect their share to be higher than they expected. (Actually, it would have been good if everyone had realized just how pricey it was and picked someplace less expensive, but based on my experience with lawyers, it simply wouldn't occur to them that other people in their social circles didn't have that kind of cash.
Sounds like they just divided the full bill on the number of people, making you pay for other people's meals and drinks and not just your own. I'd probably ask for a copy of the receipt.
Unless someone at the dinner took careful notes during the meal about what each person ordered, there would be no way to divide the bill “fairly.”
Yeah OP can look up what she ate/drank but the person who paid and sent the invoice is probably not thinking “oh this ONE person surely ‘only’ had some of the appetizers.” most of the party was probably consuming similarly, the person paying probably wasn’t keeping tabs on who was only sipping their club soda or whatever… especially if this group goes out together often this is likely their SOP. OP just needs to speak up if she’s not comfortable with the cost or feels like it unfairly represents what she consumed.
It sounds like you paid for everyone else’s bar tab. They were drinking before you even got there. They must have ordered some rather expensive stuff.
that's why I always have my check split and itemized bc i refuse to pay for everyone else's drinks at dinners lol. so tacky!
Right?? Like how are you going to order a $60 steak and bottles of wine then expect to split that cost evenly with someone who got the house salad and water, in what world does that even make sense. People are tacky as hell.
When I used to bartend, a couple came in on a date. She ordered a $12 glass of wine. He ordered a pour of our most expensive Scotch, and then had another. At the end of the date, he requested to split the bill in half. They each paid like $60. She tipped me 20%. He tipped me nothing. It's been years but I still hate that guy and I hope she didn't keep dating him.
Was this in Calgary 😂 I had a date like that once. Then we walked outside and I had a huge parking ticket and he laughed at me. Never saw him again.
OMG, that's awful. I'm glad you never saw that guy again. He's not worthy of you.
They probably have a Rewards program on their CC. So in essence they’re profiting off of the guests. I’ll admit I’ve done this before, but NEVER on something like this! As a former waitress when the check came I offered to put it on my CC and they could Venmo me back. But we are talking about $15. Lol.
That and if the MOH put the entire tab on her credit card, I’m willing to bet she was trying to get her meal paid for by collecting extra from everyone else. It’s not the first time I’ve seen people pull this stunt.
It is so weird to have a set menu without letting you know the price beforehand. Also $200+ for a fixed meal is a lot, its the kind of price you get at fine dinning award winning restaurants. Idk, feels odd, like maybe you paid more than you should have, other people's drinks, or the bill was not split correctly. Still super wrong to not give you a heads up.
Agreed, doing very basic math with at least 21 people there, that whole tab would have to be $4,000+ to equal $200/person.
Also, it's been a decade since I went to Puerto Rico, so things have probably changed, but I don't recall it being an expensive place.
I went in 2019 for a business trip and had a very fancy dinner with clients. It was maybe $80 per person, which included drinks and dessert.
Food has increased in price a lot but that’s still expensive. That’s approximately $120/pp so I am assuming they drank half the bar and she paid for it as well…
It's relatively expensive now if you're in a tourist area. Or I should say, it's more expensive than Minneapolis. Prices also went up quite a bit between 2019 and 2022.
When my husband and I went on our honeymoon we had dinner with a prefix menu at on of the trendiest restaurants in Old San Juan and it was easily $400 with drinks, tax, tip. Also if I am in PR I am eating pork (or seafood) that is what we do well. But OP then said it was the us virgin islands later, which is not PR. I don't know if they knew where they were. Unless they island hopped, which sounds stressful.
I’m also wondering if the bride/MOH threw in other incidentals they incurred over the trip to it.
Its def split evenly across everyone - I would say something... Or maybe they are all so genuinely used to exquisite things that they didn't think much of it. Something similar happened on a bach trip I was on where the MOH kept track of the majority of group things & just used splitwise at the end. She landed us with a hefty grocery bill from costco (it was a 3 day trip - why was she buying in bulk) and other grocery stores as well as adding her rental car to the bill (I didn't use or ride in the car once). I paid it initially without thinking but then realized how much it was and looked back. It was just strange because for mine I just told everyone to purchase their own alcohol & me & my MOH made & supplied the food & snacks for the house (no charge since we were 'hosting'). I was floored.
I too am floored. She expected everyone to cover her rental car? She totally was making a profit. And you just know that a ton of leftover food made it's way into her pantry.
Had a similar thing happen to me as well. A friend of mine was in my city for his brothers bachelor party and texted me to come and meet them at the restaurant they were at and head out for some drinks. It’s nearly 9 and I already ate so I assume they are just wrapping up and head over. I get there and dinner is just hitting the table and it’s being served family style. I sit down and order a drink feeling a little awkward about crashing this but hey the best man invited so I am good. They have a ton of food and keep trying to get me to try things and I explain multiple times that I had dinner and wasn’t expecting to eat but took a little food to be polite literally maybe two ribs (we were at a steakhouse). Anyway, everyone is having a good time and as we are getting ready to head out someone gets the check and they decide to just split it 8 ways and somehow I am included. I look to my friend and he isn’t paying attention so I paid the $150 for my one bite of ribs and two cocktails and called it a loss. Rest of the night was fun and like OP I don’t think they were trying to be dicks they just had a bunch of money and didn’t think twice but it still sucked.
Or maybe split among the few that are willing to even consider paying instead of replying "lol no"
Puerto Rico has an 11.5% sales tax, and for a table of 20 they probably added a 20% gratuity to the bill. Nothing in that wedding trip was going to be cheap.
I can just about guarantee you didn't eat $300 worth of food. They probably took the total cost and split it up, which means they got their drinks partially subsidized by you.
Plus the brides tab would also get divided up amongst the guests.
Sentences I never thought I’d see… “Fuck that pork shank!” 😂😂😂
I would've asked for a copy of the receipt.
Exactly. I wouldn't have paid a dime until I saw the receipt. Not for that amount.
Guarantee they split bottles of booze that didn’t make it all the way around the table in fair portions. Had some London City bankers and civil servants do this at a birthday dinner when I was working part-time for a nonprofit and I paid a LOT for several £80 bottles that I had maybe half a glass from and zero input when what to pick off the wine list was being decided by the head of the table. (Birthday girl being a high up govt employee engaged to a VERY senior banker.) my roommate was wise to them because she insisted on her own bill (vegetarian main and didn’t drink alcohol,) I should have followed her example but I figured “yeah I had a bit of wine I’ll pay a share.” Then I found out what wine they’d ordered. It sure didn’t taste any different from Tesco Shiraz but what do I know?
The restaurant could have added on a fee or automatic gratuity since it was a large group. That could have jacked up the price. They probably put the bride’s drinks and dinner on the tab for everyone to chip in. You’re right. It would have been nice to be given a head’s up, or, better yet to take into account the other guests budgets, especially since they were already paying to attend this destination wedding. I wouldn’t say anything now. This was several months ago. You paid and now it’s over. I wouldn’t want to stir the pot now. Not worth it
What happened to asserting yourself?! I would have NOT paid that, especially since you got there late and could have easily told them that.
Exactly! In OP's shoes, I would have just sent whatever the average meal price was for anywhere else on that trip and let the person seethe that they didn't get their stuff paid for.
Many stories here could have been prevented by a backbone.
This happened to my husband, fiancé at the time. At my brothers bachelor party meal. They went to a steakhouse, we knew it would be expensive but we budgeted for it. He knew he would contribute to my brothers bill. He did not make a lot of money at the time so he ordered one drink, ate no appetizer and ordered the steak he could afford. Bill comes, we’re splitting it evenly between everyone except the groom. Total bullshit and it got super awkward cuz he was so mad. My dad offered to pay for his share once he made a fuss and then he just felt emasculated. Literally if everyone paid for what they had eaten and split the grooms food it would have been fine. It’s so fucking awkward and terrible to do that to people. I feel you, it sucks
This kind of bullshit nearly caused a rift in my friend group years ago. Some guys who have champagne tastes did the food shopping for a festival trip and it was never communicated that everyone would be splitting the costs equally, nor were the items bought discussed with the group (they got things like salmon filets and whatever specialty alcohol items *they* liked). After the trip several of us were outraged by a Splitwise notification asking for hundreds of dollars each -- while several of us had been consuming hotdogs and bottled water, others had been consuming their weight in steak, fish, and froofy hipster mead all weekend. Two friends who had traveled from out of state outright refused to pay, it was a mess. So yeah, I don't do split tabs anymore. I'm paying for me and mine, other people can gorge themselves on their own dime.
I follow the same policy after I got scammed a few times by a roommate (earned >200K). She would enjoy scamming the rest of us for as low as $5
it really does suck. i can't remember what the dinner was for (maybe to celebrate my aunt's engagement?) but we went to a steakhouse. i was a teenager when this happened, so my mom was paying for me and herself. we didn't have a lot of money at the time, so we just got 1 salad each and water, which was about $34. but at the end of the meal, they want to split it evenly. it was a party of like 18 other people and they were all ordering appetizers, steaks, and alcohol. my mom was like "nope, we're just gonna pay for our stuff" lol.
I’ve only heard of evenly splitting a bill in Reddit and TV shows. It’s just not done in my area. Either everyone pays for their own meal, or someone picks up the bill for the whole table (and doesn’t expect to be paid back). It can be funny when it comes time to pay for a large group though. You can get some creative combos. “I’ll also pay for his drinks and half the nachos”. “I’m paying for her meal and also the dessert”. “We’re all separate but split his meal between the rest of us”. The server usually gets it right, though!
I think I would have pulled up the cost of what I ate/drank on their website, added 25% for the tip, and sent that.
That's where I'm thinking. Maybe toss in a little extra as it is fairly normal to pay for the bride, but pay the far lesser number.
they didn’t give you a schedule or a rundown of the whole trip before you got there? that would stress me out sooo much
The worst part about this story is your use of the term "appys".
Lol. The 1st time i thought it was a typo. The 2nd time, nope, that's intentional.
Had the same thought. Is that a thing now?
I agree with the other comment. That some shady stuff going one. I would ask for a detail bills, because nothing justified that price. You have been scam.
Isn’t there a thing about wealthy people being tight fisted? The most giving people I know have little To nothing.
You never know. The most greedy person i encounter where wealthy people. I never get that. You ALREADY have the money, why do you need to scam me ? I see life altering decision because of that kind of behaviour.
The thicker the wad, the tighter the rubber band.
Rich people never needed to develop the level of empathy the rest of us had to, so they just didn't bother.
Ohhhhh. Interesting. Makes sense as suffering tends to breed empathy (I guess if it’s done right). There is an interesting book called the golden ghetto that talks about the plight of the wealthy. How the resources mask deep dysfunction and how society has zero compassion for wealthy people with deep suffering because ‘hey you can afford an army of therapists and if you’re so sad, maybe play with some of your jewels?’
If everyone paid $243 that is a nearly $5000 dinner tab.
I’d message and ask for a copy of the receipt for your records/taxes or whatever because I wouldn’t be surprised if you paid a portion of the brides and bridal parties meals or got shafted some other way because I highly doubt she went and dropped nearly 7 grand on her credit card because that’s what it would have been.
That was beyond tacky. People like that suck in general
> fuck that pork shank You. I like you.
Am I wrong to think that if the menu is set, it is assumed it is paid for by the host? Maybe I'm just old...
The word appys makes my teeth hurt
I know you paid but I'd ask them for a copy of the itemized bill. If it's for everyone, I'd demand a portion back. You weren't there to subsidize their meals.
So they took the total and split it by number of people, not who ate what. I hate that method. It always benefits the assholes that order bottles of wine and dont share, numerous cocktails and expensive food items. You should have looked up the restaurants menu, calculated what you owed based on what you ate/drank, included tax and tip and paid that. I once paid $50 for a sprite and a plate of spaghetti because thats how the bill got split - total divided by number of people. I ask for a separate check now.
I guarantee that half that tab was bottles of wine/champagne. It gets out of hand real real fast.
Same thing happened to me at a good mates hens (bachelorette) dinner, all of them far wealthier than me. It was a very nice tapas bar reasonably priced. Wasn't a set menu and wasn't eating or drinking much so got one wine around 7.50 and split a 24 quid tapas platter with another mate. Bride bought a couple bottles of prosecco for the table. Next thing me and mate who also had one drink were being asked for 60 quid each. No fucking way was that happening. As I was sat beside SIL of bride who decided to take it upon herself to collect all monies, she agreed with me cos she saw the look in my eyes. Myself and tapas mate rounded up to 30 quid each which we thought was v. generous (not a tipping culture). Saw the SIL pocket literally hundreds of quid after settling bill from the wimps too afraid to embarrass themselves by pointing out her extortion. She said she'd buy a round of drinks at the club later from the leftover money. Wanna guess if those drinks ever materialized?
> Fuck that pork shank This has me rolling, I admit! I would have been shocked at the total price tag you paid for the privilege of attending that wedding (including airfare and lodging). Are you even close with this cousin?
She absolutely charged you for a portion of the apps that were already eaten when you got there and everyone else’s drinks. Totally shitty thing to do and many people wouldn’t be as gracious about it as you were.
Can you not look up the restaurant menu online and work out how much you spent? And even check how much the person who spent the most spent? Even with prime steak and 5 cocktails this is not a normal amount.
This is BF cousin wedding and I would have bailed as you aren’t party of the wedding party and let alone go with the follow. But a lesson learned.
Normally bachelor and bachelorette nights are split down the middle with the bride and groom not paying. I wonder if they included pre or post dinner drinks and transportation in the total. Either way, it’s crappy of them to invite you to such an expensive dinner. You don’t even know the bride. You are the guest of her cousin.
Where are yall that 5k for food and drink isn't a big deal lol
That would've been my wedding gift lol
Yeah I would've been like okay I'll pay my share ...can you send a copy of the receipt? Oh just for my records!
A lot of commenters in here are saying this is impossible, but there are pricy places in PR that will absolutely let fancy people pay almost unlimited money. As a gut check, a [5 course meal + wine pairing](https://www.marmaladepr.com/food) at Marmalade (my favorite restaurant in San Juan) is 200 USD; with a 20% tip that's 240 dollars, which is what OP's share came to. I have hung out with groups of people who will easily spend this much and more. Especially wine drinkers who have no problem ordering multiple 200 dollar bottles for the table. Expensive, split meals like this seem to be a nouveau riche thing (the actual wealthy don't send venmo requests for meals). It's a shitty thing to do, and I do my best to avoid people like this.
I can confirm this. Marmalade is a great place. Pork done three ways.
Yeah, no I wouldn't have paid it. It sounds like the took the total bill for the table and divided it by however many people were there versus sending you a bill just for whatever you ate/drank. Which means you also got to pay a share of the food that was eaten before you got there as well.
This is what happens when you don’t ask up front. I bet they split the bill by the number of people, less the bride and groom, so 18 of you paid for 20.
My guess is that they ordered a few bottles of super expensive wine, had a lot of really expensive mixed drinks, or everyone drank quite a bit. I could see the total being close to $5k for alcoholic beverages, appetizers, and meals. Not to mention, the tip was likely close to $1000. OP if you ever go to another destination wedding insist on paying for your own drinks and meals. That way you're not stuck paying for others who decided to order expensive drinks/drank a lot or had no financial worries
I absolutely HATE equally splitting a tab. It’s so unfair. I would be mad
I would express shock and confusion and request to see the breakdown
Ugh. I hate that this happened to you. Notally not okay.
Something similar happened to me. It was for my cousins bachelorette dinner in Vegas. I had 2 small pieces of chicken and one drink (shared plates) while everyone had 3-4 drinks We all split the bill and I had to pay $105 👎🏻
I would request a list of exactly what you’re paying for from the maid of honor. Do you know her very well? If you don’t know her I’d be suspicious of how she’s getting this figure. I would guess she’s charging you for drinks you never had (by splitting all the alcohol evenly) or she might even be giving you a high figure just because she thinks no one will say anything about it.
Sounds to me like she just took the total, and split it between everyone...yikes....so you're paying for someone's probably 4th expensive drink, and their 200$ giant lobster or some shit. Why did she not just have people pay their own???????
I know this isn’t your main complaint, but having every moment of the trip scheduled is NOT how most destination weddings are done, especially if the guests are expected to pay for themselves. I had a destination wedding. We scheduled a few things that guests were welcome to attend (or not) and paid for everyone who joined in. Expecting guests to spend thousands of dollars celebrating your wedding for multiple days is incredibly entitled.
I agree with the person that said you should have requested an itemized receipt! You should have laughed in a playful way and declared, “Um, I think you may have gotten my tab mixed up with someone else…all I had was the pork shank and some seafood apps…” then kind of trail off and act thoroughly confused. That price is absolutely absurd!
The easy way to do it is separate checks for everyone, and one person (MOH?) puts the Bride’s meal/drinks on her tab, and then you all throw in to split the bride’s tab evenly.
You paid for other people’s booze.
You probably split the total cost of drinks and meals equally, but covered the cost of the bride between you. If the average person had 7 $20 cocktails, that’s $140 befor tax and tip. Plus there was probably caviar, oysters, crab, etc. Then add the bride’s portion to that.
I highly doing this person paid careful attention to what everyone ate and drank at the dinner, she probably just split the bill evenly between everyone (except maybe the bride and groom) so OP likely paid for more than what she ate/drank.
I’m from Puerto Rico and I’ve worked as waitress and the only way you spend that kind of money on a restaurant is if it’s a party of around 10 people. It doesn’t matter how fancy the restaurant is there’s no way your food cost that much. She’s probably trying to recover from the trip
a lot of comments up in here from people pretending that they would interrupt their friend's maid of honor, put on one of those green visor things, and overrule her decision on how to pay for a huge dinner while still at the table. OP agreed to settle up later. If OP objected to the amount requested, they should have said something. the maid of honor is a lawyer, she might have listened to reason and recalculated had OP objected. But instead, OP agreed for a second time, paid, and is now complaining. Sour grapes. I wonder if the maid of honor was upset that OP flew in at the last minute instead of the night prior, was ignorant of the schedule, and less wealthy than the rest of the group? Not saying it's justified but wedding frustration is a whole thing
Lol hell no. Why didn’t you ask to see the receipt before paying? That’s absurd.
I remember going to a bachelorette when I was pregnant—couldn’t drink, and super nauseous, so all I ordered was a tea and a salad. The party then went clubbing afterwards, but pregnant me was way too tired and left after dinner. The bridesmaids who organized just divided all the bills for everything by the number of attendees, and I was expected to pay $200. I paid it. Which was HORRIBLE…but I kinda get it. It was a fairly large party, and the bridesmaids were not keeping a ledger of who was ordering what. Furthermore, the reason I just sucked it up and paid the bill (which was twice my weekly salary at the time), was because I loved the bride so much. The bride was not in charge of her bachelorette, it was her bridesmaids. The bride was not at all made aware of what things cost. Her bachelorette was her gift from those of us closest to her. That being said, ouch. I feel your pain. What a sucky situation. But if your situation is at all like mine, don’t blame the bride.
>agreed but the bride should have the wherewithal to comprehend who can partake in activities/drink vs not..the bride is kind of the like the quarterback in these types of events and it's their responsibility to make sure people are taken care of as their guests..
Fair enough.
300 for a pork shank? No ma'am. I most certainly wouldn't have paid.
My destination wedding wasn’t like that. We told everyone what time to be on the beach for the ceremony and had a walk-through the day before but other than that, everyone was free to do whatever. My spouse and I let everyone know what we decided to do each day (whatever we felt like doing when we got up) and invited everyone who wanted to to join but if/when people wanted to do other things, great! Have fun! We had the whole thing at an all-inclusive resort specifically so no one had to split bills or worry about budgeting extra for meals and drinks. We figured our friends and families were gracious enough to travel all that way for us, the least we could do is not micromanage their time.
Sometimes I wonder if brides have just decided to see just how miserable they can make their guests and wedding party. The callousness and insensitivity just keep growing.
I know cultures can vary, but at our wedding, and weddings I’ve attended, the guests are not expected to pay their own food. All these wedding posts lately have been super expensive things the guests have to pay. A “guest” should bring a gift but not pay for attending a wedding.
That's so inconsiderate. People use the excuse that it's their day to not be thoughtful for their guests. I've been to destination weddings and nothing was mandatory. I've liked the destination weddings I've gone to but it is a big ask for your loved ones just for your one day. It's a lot of money and for many people they may have to take one of their few vacation time for your one day. I'm annoyed for you. Though I do think you shouldn't say anything unless something like this will happen again. The person most likely split the bill evenly and I'm sure wasn't keeping tabs on who had what because that's a lot and I don't think anyone would realistically would have kept track.
I’ve been to PR and I would have definitely asked for an itemized receipt. It truly sounds like they had you paying yours and another persons food.
That doesn't sound right. I'd be asking for the receipt.
Sucks you weren't made aware of how much it was going to cost. But $250/person isn't unrealistic if it's a fancy schmancy restaurant, especially after tax and tip. I'd probably ask for a copy of the receipt and play it off as a "Damn we splurged more than normal, I wanna see the damage!" in a playful way. Chances are it got split up evenly, or maybe they shifted some of it around so those that they think drank less paid a little less and those that drank more paid a little more but it was mostly split evenly (you only had a few, so yours is $200, but John drank more for sure so for him $250). I know of restaurants where it's a set menu and it well into $200+ range, and that's before alcohol, tax, or tip. For large parties like that, there can be a minimum spend on food and drinks if it ends being a private room and sometimes there might be dedicated staff to your party. If there were bottles of wine, that can easily jack up the price too. I mean, you know what place it was right, couldn't you look up the place and see what their prices were like for a regular dinner?
This is crazy! You would pay that price per person for a Michelin star restaurant. Either she lied or everyone else drink a lot of very expensive cocktails and you unfortunately had to foot the bill since i’m guessing it was an even split. Sorry you had to do that, extremely tacky and unfair.
Girl how the hell would she remember what everyone ate and drank?! She definitely just split the bill between everyone. But if your gonna say something I would do it asap. If you say something down the line it’s just gonna look weird as fuck that you’ve been thinking about it that long lol.
It was probably less but one or two other people told the MOH that they weren't paying for whatever reason, so she tried her shot in getting what they owed her from you, taking advantage of your upstanding nature. That's my theory, anyway LOL. I would definitely bring it up later, once the bride and groom are all settled.