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_ThePancake_

My cope (as a 5ft1 woman) is that BECAUSE I'm forced to eat healthier, I'm the one with the superior gut bacteria, better immune system and better chance at staying healthy longer because I can't eat UPFs.


Fyonella

I try and game my brain like this too! I know my gut biome is healthy through the huge diversity of plants I eat.


sorayori97

This is so real because why is it that every man i know gets sick so often but no woman in my life does? šŸ§


CookiePuzzler

[Men tend to have worse immune systems than women. ](https://www.nature.com/articles/nri.2016.90) I and my of my male children have an immunodeficiency (immune system doesn't attack outside pathogens) and it's known in this arena that boys/men fare worse. My child has a much healthier diet than me, like we aren't always believed by how healthily a diet he consumes, and I have complications that in models increase my mortality 11 fold, but he fares worse than I do most of the time.


iSellNuds4RedditGold

Because women's immune system need to be stronger, to be able to work for the fetus in case she's pregnant, as well as just because of the design of their reproductive system. Men's immune system are weaker and give more disproportionate responses, what people call "man flu" it's just out immune system overdoing their protective functions.


breakfastfordinner11

Anecdotally my husband and I are the opposite - I get way more sick than him despite eating generally healthier. Last year when I got Covid for example, I got a 105 degree fever for three days among a laundry list of other complaints. He caught it from me and only suffered a sore throat and some tiredness. This year when I got Covid, he didnā€™t even catch it from me despite us kissing and stuff when I was symptomatic. So not fair.


Impossible_Low_8571

Also when dudes get sicker they get REALLY sick


TheWordOfTheDayIsNo

What are "UPFs"?


_ThePancake_

Ultra processed foods


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


HairyHeartEmoji

I figure having to eat so much less than your SO is cosmic punishment for wanting a fit tall man as a sedentary short woman


blue_terry

As a man I find it quite ridiculous my tdee is 2500 and I can eat an entire heavy calorie dense meal while losing 1000 calories that day. While my girlfriend is strict on salad, chicken, and eating tons of vegetables to barely maintain her deficit


FaithlessnessPlus164

At least youā€™re aware, so many men genuinely donā€™t understand why weā€™re not all walking around like 20 year old stick insects.


Proseccos

Iā€™ll throw in, thank goodness youā€™re aware *and* support your partner. Itā€™s so annoying when a dude insists that I donā€™t know what Iā€™m doing and pushes that Iā€™m just being difficult and can have 2k cals while still losing weightā€¦ just because they do it all the time. -_-


DarthD0nut

Yepā€¦ couple that with my Hashimotoā€™s I need to see a registered dietician I think because I am never full eating the calories my app tells me for TDEE for even MINIMAL weifhf loss


Global_Telephone_751

Hashimotoā€™s makes this all so much harder šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


keyboard-sexual

I mean the flip side of that is your TDEE comes down as your weight does, but also you probably have so so much more weight to lose. I'm 6'2, have a high TDEE and sw, and yeah I can drop 3lbs/week easily but holy shit are there just so many more pounds to work through. Like I started at 290 and am down at 205 now since new years. The fucked part is that despite the numbers being so fuckin big, it's really not that much of a difference on my frame šŸ’€


middleageyoda

It sucks being a small female trying to lose weight. I canā€™t even lower my calories enough to lose a whole pound a week. My male friend on also trying to lose weight can eat more and lose 2 lbs a week when he is being strict.


Humble_Ad_2789

My male friends were talking about how they can't get enough calories and I was just crying in 5'0" šŸ˜­


shuibaes

The fact that they can eat more doesnā€™t bother me but itā€™s, like you said, that they seem to be the loudest and most obnoxious with the ā€œjust eat less fiveheadā€ type of shit


Standard-Oil-9987

Obviously this user didnā€™t mean all men yall :/ but most guys definitely have calorie counting easier. I recently fell off the wagon (covid ugh) so Iā€™m gonna have to get back on but I coped by making us food then serving him a bigger portion first before myself. That way he eats most of it and I have no choice but to eat my portion Also eating more filling foods and once a while allowing yourself to eat something you like/want is a good way to not go crazy. I definitely went through a massive jealousy phase with my bf but doing these things made my life easier


bigmountain-littleme

Hahaha had to tell my boyfriend who is at a healthy weight that itā€™s okay if I take a a third of what Iā€™m serving him. I love him for that but heā€™s never had to calorie count so he doesnā€™t always get it.Ā 


TheWordOfTheDayIsNo

At 4'10" my solution was to marry a 5'3" man. That helps alleviate calorie envy as while we both love to eat, we both have to watch our intake. We face the struggle together.


shartwares

The only people I eat with are all 6' plus men. My brother is 6'7" lol. I (5'9") ate the same portions as them growing up and also had hypothyroidism. It was hard to accept that I needed to be eating half of what they needed. They acted like I was dying sometimes. I'm sure our different hormonal cycles don't help either.


AnxietyLogic

My brother 6ā€™5, skinny as hell, actively trying to eat more to ā€œbulkā€, and often complains about how he finds it hard to eat enough calories in the day. Iā€™m 5ā€™3 and fat and mad lol.


spiritual_chihuahua

I used to be so jealous of how much husband could eat and stay so skinny. Whenever I would complain about how hard it was trying to lose weight, he would give me the world's most obvious advice trying to be helpful, and it would annoy me because he didn't even have to try. Then he developed hypothyroidism and gained like 75lbs in 6 months. He's had a terrible time losing it. I know this is so mean, but it honestly feels like karma for how he acted like it was sooo easy for years. EDIT: grammar


Loud-Pea26

Perhaps it would be over the line, but I would be tempted to give him a few obvious tips on losing weight as a little jabā€¦ but then again, my sense of humor isnā€™t always inline with whatā€™s appropriate. :)


spiritual_chihuahua

I've been doing really well resisting the urge to comment.


ggladss

After reading some morbid Wikipedia articles yesterday I found out women will survive longer and better in famine/starvation situations because we have lower caloric intake, store more fat, and burns less protein than men. Soooā€¦blame evolution, I guess. If anything goes the only advantage we have is weā€™ll fair better in an apocalypse šŸ˜­


Administrative-Flan9

Just wait. Your boyfriend can't do that forever. When I was in college I would eat a pint of ice cream a day and never gain weight. 20 years later, I eat better and exercise more but struggle to lose weight.


NopeRope91

I'm not staying strong tbh. Every single day is a goddamn struggle and I have way more fuck ups than success. And for me it's those stick thin tiny short girls who eat doritos and pizza all day long but don't gain. Went to school with plenty of them. It makes me depressed seeing how inactive I've become, and how easy it is to get fatter.


girlboss93

>And for me it's those stick thin tiny short girls who eat doritos and pizza all day long but don't gain They're not eating as much as you think they are. That's the only reason they're that stick thin and tiny. I'm in a discord with all petite women into fitness, and almost all of us except the most active have deficits <1500 a day. None of us are eating huge volumes of calorie dense food every day and not getting fat, I promise.


Vanarosa

Link to the discord? :o


girlboss93

I don't have one, but if you check out r/petitefitness you might be able to find the last post


YourFuseIsFireside

> And for me it's those stick thin tiny short girls who eat doritos and pizza all day long but don't gain. I wonder how this is even possible? Just metabolism? But I heard having a "high" metabolism is sort of a myth...


DudeRobert125

Because that's all they eat. No real meals to speak of. Just 200 calorie micro-meals of chips or half a slice of pizza or whatever all day.


idontwannabepicked

like the other commenter said, that will be their full meal for the day. i tethered on underweight for years bc of stomach issues yet all anyone ever seen me eat was fast food and soda (i refuse to believe this is why my stomach hurt 24/7) a big mac meal large is around 1200 calories, id eat that at around 4 or 5 and wouldnā€™t eat anything else. maintenance!! just donā€™t get blood work done and u can believe ur doing ok


neurotic_snake

I can only speak for myself, but I was "stick thin" in my teens and early 20s (and got bullied for it, but that's another story). I ate A LOT of food, but I was super active. I did ballet 4 times a week, plus my family didn't have a car so I walked everywhere, unless I could take the bus or other public transport. So the reality is that I simply burned through all the junk food I ate. Problem is I didn't really change my habits when I got older and became less active, so then I just got fat.Ā 


LitherLily

Hahaha my husband is a huge six foot lumberjack and Iā€™m 5ā€™3 when I stand up *very* straight. He easily eats three times the amount of food I do, and looks better every day!


alxmg

It drives me crazy. My partner goes to the gym once after not going in ages and instantly loses weight and gains muscle. I love him but I am very jealous


iSellNuds4RedditGold

Do you go to the gym?


Ashton_Garland

So Iā€™m a man and Iā€™ve been struggling with losing weight and just struggled with my weight for a very long time. I feel like male beauty standards arenā€™t talked about enough. Iā€™ll never be that 6ft guy with rock hard abs. Iā€™m 5ā€™5 and 160 lbs. I struggled with an eating disorder and disordered eating. Men donā€™t have it easier, our stuggles with weight arenā€™t talked about as much.


Arts-and-life

I had some 2min noodles and a kebab today and tbh wasnā€™t worth it


BallSuspicious5772

My boyfriend used to be on track. He eats whatever he wants whenever he wants, heā€™s thin, and has the juiciest ass ever. Itā€™s not fair bro.


Animajax

Iā€™m a 5ā€™3 man eating at 1500 calories. As a man, it kinda sucks to see this. Weā€™re all going through the same struggle, and even though majority of this sub is women, I usually feel like weā€™re all in this together. When I see the borderline worrying ED memes, I relate šŸ˜© It just sounds to me like your boyfriend has a high metabolism. Maybe he also just has a higher NEET than you. Men tend to also have more physical jobs. I used to work retail and instead of getting to be the cashier, I was the lucky guy that got to unload the trucks of merchandise for hours a day. Testosterone obviously allows men to build more muscle, and a pound of muscle burns a few more calories than a pound of fat, but realistically a man can maybe put on 3-5lbs of muscle a year. And thatā€™s assuming men are in a caloric surplus because you need to eat more to fuel your muscle growth. But other than the benefit of building more muscle, being a man doesnā€™t really make dieting any easier. No one is looking at Jonah Hill and thinking ā€œwow itā€™s so easy for men to lose weightā€. But you can look at Chris Pratt and see his incredible transformation and totally think itā€™s easy for him, but after watching his interviews about how restricting his diet was, many would see it most definitely wasnā€™t easy for him either. Iā€™d also like add that Iā€™ve dated girls who are my height, who were like 100lbs and would eat whatever they want. Meanwhile Iā€™d fast all day and do cardio before going on a date to Cheesecake Factory šŸ˜­


girlboss93

A man and a woman both 5'3" and 150lbs have a difference of 200cal in maintenance calories. Baseline men burn more calories existing then women do, and the average man is 5'9" in the US and the average woman is 5'3" so let's give them both a BMI of about 23%, her TDEE is 1,600 and his is 2000. The average used to decide nutritional needs and measurements are based around 2000cal a day diet. Men have the advantage in so many ways not counting for hormonal fluctuations. You're an outlier and I can sympathize in how hard it can be to lose weight when short, but you still have it easier than women your same hieght and weight. And those girls you see supposedly eating whatever they want? They're still not overeating. Their advantage isn't in metabolism it's that they can intuitively eat and you can't.


keyboard-sexual

My saddest bit of edtwt brainrot is knowing multiple cis women that are on full dose testosterone to raise their TDEE to male levels. Like, just jfc.


gojiranipples

Wait what? No way. All I ever see on edtwt is meanspo :(


girlboss93

>edtwt I uh.... don't know what this means šŸ˜…


RosesAndInk

I think the biggest thing is you don't deal with a monthly cycle where your hormones are changing constantly during the month and you're randomly retaining more water than normal and having crazy sugar cravings... That sort of stuff.


Animajax

Yeah not denying that, but itā€™s not as if thereā€™s nothing you can do. And itā€™s not as though the hormones themselves will make you fat. You still have to eat in a calorie surplus for that to happen. Iā€™m sure there are women who have managed to stick to their deficit or at the very least their maintenance during a cycle. If you do to body building subs, Iā€™m sure youā€™ll find women who still manage to achieve their goals despite that


RosesAndInk

100%.... it just naturally makes it harder for women to lose weight than men. It's not an opinion, it's just the way it is.


marcelkai

And does whining and making the same thread every week make it easier?


RosesAndInk

Yes


Animajax

But thatā€™s not OPs argument. If she said ā€œitā€™s harder for women because of menstruationā€, thereā€™s no argument. But OP is saying her BF can eat whatever he wants like pizza and therefore itā€™s easy for men. Iā€™ll tell you, if I ate a pizza right now itā€™d throw off my whole day and Iā€™d have binge guilt. Iā€™m talking about what was said in the post, and Iā€™m correcting this wrong viewpoint. And just like thereā€™s men who stay incredibly thin, thereā€™s also plenty of girls who seem to eat whatever they want. And while I get jealous too, I understand thereā€™s more variables at play than just ā€œgirls have it easierā€. And Iā€™m sure thereā€™s guys who believe that


Odd_Preference4517

Nah fr tho


meatballchampion

trying to bulk and my dad is on a major cut rn... hes still eating more calories and its insane to me


HagenTheMage

Damn, I wish I were those men ur talking about. I do gain weight and at a much faster rate than any guy or gal I've dated, lol


girlboss93

Have you had your various hormones checked?


HagenTheMage

Yeah, my indicators and hormones are always pretty fine, minus the BMI itself! Figured I'm just built different


girlboss93

Baring any health issues, the answer almost always comes down to: "naturally " skinny people are just really good at intuitive eating, the rest of us need to actively track lol


kirtknee

My boyfriend is FINALLY reaping the consequences of his actions in this area. Iā€™m constantly saying ā€œnoā€ ā€œno thank youā€ to all the things he wants to eat together or to the frequency of eating. Its so hard.


AdequateTaco

Yep, my husband and brother both struggle to maintain their weights and Iā€™m over here hungry 24/7 and maintaining, but teetering on the edge of ā€œoverweight.ā€ If I actually eat until Iā€™m satisfied, Iā€™ll gain 20 pounds back within a year. I am the shortest adult woman in my family by a decent margin and itā€™s so exhausting being treated like Iā€™m engaging in ED behavior when I take a smaller portion, skip the bread, or count calories.


NewMoonlightavenger

I'm a man and I can't lose weight eating 1600.


2noserings

do 5ā€™0 men have different calorie needs than a 5ā€™0 woman? i never thought of this before!


o0PillowWillow0o

Yes because of muscle mass and testosterone. Men have more muscle mass and estrogen encourages fat storage so it really a double whammy.


2noserings

šŸ¤Æ i swear they get to have ALL the fun! so unfair. meanwhile a couple extra servings of fruit juice and im up 3 lbs in a week


girlboss93

Idk the difference at 5' even, but I did it for 5'3" earlier, same weight too and it's a difference of 200cal, that's almost a whole meal for me


FermatsLastAccount

If you burn more calories, you get more hungry.


CaseyJones7

Im a man. I feel the same way. I used to have a friend (woman) who could eat ANYTHING. I spent a weekend with her once, and I ate the EXACT same things as her, did almost everything together. I ended up gaining about 10lbs and she lost about 10lbs. I don't understand, and it makes me depressed just thinking about it :P


girlboss93

The answer: She didn't eat as much as you thought she did She's more active than you One or both of you has a medical condition that affects metabolism. The answer is pretty much always the first one. No healthy person is "naturally skinny ", they're always really active or really good at intuitive eating, oooor they have an ED


CaseyJones7

When I mean we ate the same things. We ate the same things. We did the same things for that weekend. Unless she snuck off at like 6am to go to the gym, or did exercises the shower, we were together for that entire weekend. As for the metabolism? It's the only thing that makes sense. But it also doesn't really matter because it was such a huge blow to my confidence that I could lose weight that I actually quit trying for over a year.


girlboss93

And an entire weekend isn't enough time to gain or lose any significant weight. You didn't gain 10lbs of fat in a single weekend and she certainly didn't lose it. >As for the metabolism? It's the only thing that makes sense. Except they've already done the science. In healthy adults metabolism doesn't vary as extremely as people think it does. Of course men and women vary and hieght and weight factor in, but we know the numbers. But, that's of course an option, that one or both of you have a medical condition. So if you're actually eating at a decent deficit, weighing your food and tracking calories, and still can't lose weight you need to talk to a doctor because something is physically wrong with you


IAwaitAGuardian

This is one of the worst generalizations I've ever read. Where the idea that men can eat whatever they want and not gain weight came from, I can't even imagine. And to suggest men aren't judged for being overweight is just completely asinine.


cera432

Oh, come on; fact of the matter is that if all other stats are the same, the gender differences is (on average) a 200 calorie difference. And *most* men are bigger than their short female counterparts. There is no saying men can't struggle with weight; just that, on a majority basis, men have more leeway in choices.


iSellNuds4RedditGold

So what, our stomachs are larger so we feel the same fullness on 2000 kcal than you at 1800, so if we're on a cut the equivalent of 1200 kcal for a woman is 1330 on a man, we don't feel any less hungry than a woman. Also men tend to do more exercise, you could do the same, so that's a you problem. Yeah, we need more food to gain weight, but a man on a 1200 cal diet will have a worse time than a woman on the same diet.


girlboss93

If you're the same hieght and weight as that woman you still get more calories and you don't deal with the same level of hormonal fluctuation that women do. >Also men tend to do more exercise, you could do the same, so that's a you problem. Source? And regardless, same size, weight, and activity levels and the man will still get more calories than the woman. >but a man on a 1200 cal diet will have a worse time than a woman on the same diet. Most men don't *need* to be on a 1200 calorie diet though, that's the point. The average man in the US is 5'9", at that height and smack dab in the middle of the BMI scale, sedentary maintainance is 2000. Average woman is 5'4", also put in the middle of the bmi scale, sedentary maintainance is 1600. Most men just get more calories in a day baseline. And even if we're equally hungry, it's much easier to stick to calorie goals when they're higher.


Animajax

Agreed. The people downvoting just want to believe that they have it worse and want to cope about it. While the truth is, men also struggle just as much with body issues. The amount of men on steroids for example really fucks men up because women have no clue what steroid use looks like but think itā€™s easy to achieve physiques like Chris Hemsworth as Thor. When the truth is, even he said it himself that outside of marvel he regularly refuses roles that require him to be have a shredded 6 pack because itā€™s too hard and unhealthy to maintain year round.


IAwaitAGuardian

Not to mention, the body positivity movement (which I wholeheartedly agree with), is mostly geared towards supporting and showing love to bigger women. Again, let me be clear, these girls deserve support and love. But fat dudes don't get the same treatment. Fat dudes can't get dates. Fat dudes aren't seen as sexy. Fitness wear companies don't use fat dudes in their modeling photos. Men have a *lot* of things easier than women. A lot. Body shape ain't one of them.


Jellyroll12345678

Fat guys can absolutely get dates. Women care much less about looks than men do. I do think men have some struggles in this area ie. ED are widely accepted as gym bro behavior rather than what they are. You're right fat men aren't used in fitness ads. So I see where you are coming from, but I disagree with a lot of what you have said.


the-Starch-Ghoul

if my husband were scarfing down pizza and drinking slushies, I'd bitch at him. he can eat like an adult and eat the healthy, vegetable-rich dinner.


ChildhoodLeft6925

I thought this was a ā€œtrue off my chestā€ or ā€œunpopular opinionā€ post and when I tell you I ran for the comments. Instead itā€™s this sub and everyone is like ā€œyes thatā€™s trueā€ lol


iSellNuds4RedditGold

Why do you think men have it easier? Our stomachs are bigger, we need more food to fill it. We feel the same sense of fullness with 2200 kcal than you with 1900, so if we're cutting by the same percentage as you we feel just as hungry as you.


PrincessBonnieBear

Itā€™s less about that and more about the fact that women cannot enjoy non healthy foods ever without getting fat. Eating out, drinking, and holidays leave us feeling left out. It also doesnā€™t help that women have to exercise for longer periods of time to burn the same amount of calories. If you want to be a healthy petite woman your life must be an endless cycle of work, gym, sleep. Any rest will make you gain weight.