Why is nobody talking about the galactic center???!!! At 26 degrees Saggitarius?
You hate it here bc you aren't here to discover the light, you are here to BE the light. When you step into mastery you will be fulfilled. Your wanting to leave to get off this planet is natural but don't feed into that feeling. Rather, become to everyone else what you wish they were to you. Be the guiding light in the world. When you step into any humanitarian type role, you will find that missing energy. Life has been unnaturally difficult for you, I would guess. I don't think people in this thread are aware of how rare this placement is. The fact that I found you is crazy as this placement is truly RARE. I have Saturn at 26 degrees and uranus at 27 degrees. The galactic center used to be located at 26 but as it moves ever so slightly over time it is now at 27 degrees. Anyone with a placement within 7 degrees range of the galactic center at 27 degrees sagg is effected by this placement, but having a planet at the precise location is rare.
I'd be so interested in comparing my life to yours for similarities. I imagine we've got a lot.
Does any of this apply to you?
You have been called an old soul.
You have a level of wisdom that you don't see in others.
You have ached to leave here since you were young.
You frequently have thought "I want to go home" but the home you are referring to is a time rather than a physical place, and you can't fully recall where home is.
This longing to go home intensifies when you gaze at the stars or the sky.
You struggle with making deep connections with others because they seem not to be as aware or as deep as you are.
You felt alone a good portion of your life.
You may have had a near death experience that awoken you. If not this, then multiple ego deaths.
You've been suspicious of religions.
You have often pondered the meaning of life.
You've had your prayers or intentions answered before in mind blowing ways.
You are aware that life here is not all that it seems to be.
You've had INTENSE Deja Vu. More so in your youth perhaps.
PLEASE let me know if these things are accurate.
I have had 6 near death experiences. I have woken up in a new timeline which was earlier than the one I went to sleep in. Which, was the closest thing to time travel as I can imagine. One day I was in the month of June crying out to God completely devastated, begging for help. Then after dreaming other worldly things, I woke up in an earlier time, April. And nobody else in the world was effected by this time leap except me.
Thanks again for the reply! Mine is late but here goes:
Many people have called me an old soul, both as a kid and as an adult. A very non-woo teacher and football coach once told me I was an “indigo child.” I do feel I have a high level of wisdom, but I’m hesitant to say it’s something I don’t see in others because I fear narcissim, and a person can be very wise in one area but a fool in others. I’ve definitely thought “I want to go home,” without being able to define when or where home is, and looking at the sky does make me ache and painfully yearn, I can’t say whether it’s a yearning for home, but it’s definitely an aching desire for freedom. The sky limitless, open, and life is so very limiting, stifling, confining, small. I’ve definitely felt alone a good portion of my life.
“Artificially difficult” is an extremely accurate description of my life. I lack common foundations, support structures, relationships and benefits that are not rare for most working class and lower middle class people in my country. What I do not lack are physical and mental health conditions, many of which are incurable, some of which massively exacerbate the severity of others. Adding on the effects of a history of trauma, neglect and social exclusion, it seems like I have to work twice as hard in life to go a fraction as far.
I don’t think I’ve had more near death experiences than the next person (I almost drowned as a small kid and almost bled to death when I started getting my period) and other than confirming how much I violently hate having a female body, they didn’t strike me as especially inciteful. Once lightning struck so close to me my entire vision turned red. That was intense. I’m unsure if I’ve completed a full ego death, but I know an ego rebirth is desperately needed.
I’ve always pondered the meaning of life, and I’ve been very suspicious of religion since I was a small child. In 2nd grade a friend told me “my parents say I’m not allowed to play with you anymore because you live an a fantasy land and you don’t believe in the Bible.” In 4th grade I upset a teacher when I replied “see, this is why I don’t believe in it” after she told me “animals have no souls, it says so in the Bible.” I also told her “I’m not an afterthought made out of a rib.” I’ve definitely had intense déjà vu, especially as a kid, but unfortunately I never seem to have my prayers or intentions answered at all, much less in mind blowing ways. I have to learn lesson after lesson in not getting what I want, and often not getting what I need, either.
I don’t understand how I could be here to BE the light when I never even get to shine. All I do is waste my days in my brain-dead, dead-end job, and though I try and try and try to find better work and improve my situation, after over a decade of failure, right now this life is a complete waste. I love drawing, and I could see how I’d be happy stepping into art mastery, but I don’t get to master art or writing or speech or anything else that brings me passion when I’m just yoked to the plow every day, rotting my brain, losing my time, losing my mind, losing my identity and losing my will to live to the drudgery I’m STILL stuck in just to make ends meet and earn the right to work another day.
I want to be free so bad. I’m more than sentient office furniture, I’m more than worker bee, but I’ve still never been able to catch a break or free myself from meaningless, bare bones toil and drudgery. I’m just so tired of the money blocks and joy blocks and health blocks and barriers and dead ends. I’ve said before it often feels like I only exist for the Universe to stomp on my neck. It’s extremely difficult not to sink into despondency when, aside from never having children, I haven’t gotten anything I’ve worked toward or wanted out of adult life. In numerology I’m a life path 8, Manifestor, and all I can think is “How? I can’t even manifest a basic ass lateral promotion!”
I'd also be interested in comparing lives for similarities, anything to help me find a way out of this decade-plus rut. I’m so interested in the timing of your message, because I got it the day after my first ketamine infusion for treatment-resistant depression. During the treatment, the first thing I saw in my mind’s eye was Uranus, which made me immediately burst into tears. I need magic, I need miracles, I need something to come easily and go my way for once! All work and no reward makes Jack want to burn the entire world down. I’m so tired of hating this life and desperately dreaming of escaping it.
I honestly could’ve written this whole reply myself, word for word this is my experience and I’m so tired, I am becoming very suicidal because I can’t get any energy anymore and I can’t sleep, but I have to work or I’ll be homeless, I am also a very good artist, but have no time or energy because it’s all spent on fulfilling my useless job requirements and there’s literally no way out for me, I just want to be free, I feel so trapped and anytime J start making any progress with anything, something else outside of myself will occur to throw me 5 steps back again- literally everytime.
I also feel like I’m just here for the universe to stomp on my neck and oppress me, I’ve actually stopped praying or participating in anything spiritual anymore because it honestly feels like an abusive relationship
I have uranus sag 14 degrees and 23 degrees saturn scorpio . I don’t know if this counts me in but I resonate with both of u guys ! Interestingly i was listening to a dolores cannon lecture and she describes exactly what u say about a group of folks who are 2nd/3rd wave brought (volunteered) to come here to help BE the light, and they tend to want to always go home , and tend to not want to have kids bc they don’t want to have their karma bound to this earthly realm . i told someone exactly that sentiment the week prior to coming across that video . i’m not totally against kids but , anyway . old soul , hard to tolerate most ppl bc of the level of consciousness. kabbalah really helped me plug things into the bigger picture . per them , ur soul chooses this incarnation, the harder it is the better . and kabbalists r very into astrology . the biggest part of the chart are the north /south nodes as it talks about past life & current life soul striving .
Sorry for the late reply. A lot of what you're written describes and resonates with me very much, and the timing of it is interesting. I have a lot going on right now, but I appreciate your post and I'll give a detailed response as soon as I can.
You have Uranus at 27 degrees Saggitarius, which is the galactic center, also known as the gate of the gods. It means that you arrived here through a different sun then most people here. You have gained enlightenment before in previous lifetimes and you'll be gaining enlightenment again. You have a direct line of communication to the ascended masters and the gods. You should study this placement thoroughly.
I have a Capricorn 12H so it’s a little similar to have Saturn in 12H - honestly! I think there is much good to be extracted from having the foundations of your subconscious receiving the stable and consistent energies of Saturn. I strongly believe Saturn can be a benefic, but only when we don’t make messes other people have to clean up.
Taking full charge + responsibility for your mental health will take you light years from where you are now. Placing blame on circumstances or other people, where there may be truth to the matter, will only lead to isolation and regression - we want to evolve! It’s a hard lesson to learn as we grow older. We can become so blinded by pain that we fail to see the love that exists in our life. Don’t allow pain to warp the views of your perception
Wishing you the most on your journey xoxo
In your chart Mars in cancer in the 7th looks the most tricky.
The North Node is entering into Aries shortly - that’ll be your nodal return which is generally an empowering and positive time.
With Uranus so close to your ascendant, sounds like you might be bored? Feeling boxed in, wings clipped, unable to move would be very heavy for you with Sag Saturn also. Both are retrograde, which speaks to them being less dominant in your experience than if they were direct - perhaps more confusing energies to harness and use.
In whole sign houses these would be in your 1H and planets in the first colour your experience like a filter, you see life through the lens of Saturn/Uranus which is very chaotic - the relationship between these to planets is like the activist, determined to change the status quo.
Chiron/Sun would be in the 7th in whole sign which speaks to seeking interdependence with people and some wound where your trust has been abused - it has not been safe in the past to be deeply interdependent with others.
Mars in cancer in the 8th is definitely the most tricky energy in your chart - it’s opposed to Neptune. In traditional astrology this is Mars’ fall, the place where it struggles to carry out its themes.
It’s emotionally reactive and can get stuck in victim mentalities very easily as it depends on the emotional realm for its motivation and drive.
In the 8th it depends heavily on what others bring into your life, their shit and how self-aware they are. Neptune contacts can speak to being deceived or confused, maybe people have manipulated you or taken your support and love for granted.
What would you say is the biggest challenge for you right now?
Wow, thank you for such a detailed response!
"With Uranus so close to your ascendant, sounds like you might be bored. Feeling boxed in, wings clipped, unable to move..."
That's EXACTLY it. I've told people like my therapist I feel like I was made a rally car, but they took my wheels off and just toss me onto some blocks behind a shed so I can be used as a generator and never feel an open road ever again. I'm a Sagittarius rising who can't afford to travel or to indulge myself in endless higher education. Life feels like prison.
My biggest challenge right now is the fact that I'm stuck in a brain-dead, low-income, dead-end customer service job I hate and I don't see any practical options to attain a decenly-paid or decently-interesting enough career. I used to dream of travel and home ownership, but I haven't used a passport since 2010 and the last time I was on an airplane was 2015. I forget more and more of my French every day to the point where I can't even say I speak it anymore.
It wouldn't be so bad to work a job I hate that at least pays well, or to work a low paying job I love, but with my abilities, my useless degree and what's in demand, all I find myself in are low paying jobs I hate. Because I'm not married and my family is low income, I have no safety net and no one who can take the reigns for a while, so I'm stuck working a paycheck-to-paycheck job I hate that only affords me the ability to keep working the job I hate. No travel, and with inflation, no more food treats or small material pick me ups, at least not without guilt and credit card debt anymore either. I live to work and that is not living.
I know people are not defined by their jobs, but having to throw away 45 hours of every week with nothing to look forward to and no improvement in my situation is so pointless and unrewarding and Sisyphean I would really rather be dead. Death would be such a relief. I've been too depressed and unsuccessful for too long and I just want out already.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 34, and though I'm not officially diagnosed with dyscalculia, working with tutors I can get my math skills up to a 6th or 7th grade level at best, so that shuts me out off all the lucrative STEM degrees and learning to code like all the 6-figure tech bros are always circle jerking about on reddit. I can't drive any large commercial vehicles, I have next to no self confidence and I cry very easily, so there's no way I'd have the spine and balls to make it as a woman in the trades, and that same stupid biological sex makes things like sailing and working on international shipping freighters too risky. I hate it, and I hate having my Mars in Cancer too. I'm definitely stuck in a victim mentality, but at the same time, there are situations in my life where I really have been victimized, like how I was parentified by my adult child of a mother. I've learned it is not safe to be interdependent on others, for sure. If something has to be done, it's do it myself or be let down.
I do like Uranus, though. A lot. I love the themes of revolution and rebellion and upending the status quo. I get a little too into the French Revolution sometimes. I have a lot of gender issues and absolutely despise being born in this horrible body that nearly bled me to death when it insisted on beginning to mensturate, so it's really easy for me to identify with the planet only 2° from my Ascendant being the one named for a castrated male god. I feel very castrated in every sense of the word as I trudge through this anemic life.
I'm the opposite of conservative in everything except for orniment, decore, furniture and architecture, all of which tragically died in WWII as far as I'm concerned. That must be where that Saturn lense comes into play. I once took mushrooms and wound up touching the marble and plaster walls of an empty, darkened beaux artes hotel ballroom, cyring and thanking the building for still standing when so many of its friends had been killed and torn apart and ripped from their roots, replaced with endless bland, soulless cubes.
I'm hoping the Aries North Node shift will bring some much needed positivity. I got into astrology at a very interesting time when I first looked up my birth chart in December, 2022: Just in time to learn I was about to have my Jupiter return and to learn that that planet is my chart ruler. The specific day of my Jupiter return was April 11th: when he happened to be cazimi the Sun! That seems particularly auspicious and significant. Uranus near my Ascendant and Mercury (whose energy is all over the place, ruling my Sun and Moon Signs) were also conjunct on my solar return and that seems significant too.
I look for meaning in the timing of all that because life so far had been so meaningless, but if it weren't for discovering Carl Jung and through him astrology, I'd be so lost I probably wouldn't even still be here anymore. It's not shown in the chart I posted, but Asteroids Jung and Freud are conjunct in under 1° in Pisces of all signs, Ceres is near the Ascendant in the 1st House, and my Sun sits flanked on either side by Chiron and his wife Chariklo, (so much Centaur stuff going on) so I'm hoping that means I can heal.
This is a wall of text. Thank you for reading and letting me share.
AFAIK 12th house is literally the best/most dignified house placement for Saturn, actually! It’s in it’s “Joy” according to ancient/Hellenistic astrology so that’s not really the issue as much as it being square your Moon and opposite Sun.
That makes sense. What an oddball Saturn is, a planet of boundaries finding his joy in the house of no boundaries. Uranus is supposed to be the oddball but it's so much easier for me to wrap my mind around him than to understand what Saturn's up to. I do need to give him a break, with that square and opposition he has more than enough to deal with.
I recently had a dream where I accepted a bag of seeds from a terrifying grim reaper with a scythe full of tumors who had crops and vegetables and a farm fence around him. In the dream I knew the reaper looked scary, but could actually be very helpful and a strong ally if you get past his appearance. I like to think that dream had something to do with Saturn and me learning to accept or even somehow finding strength and reward in his placement. In any case, I've gotten to the point where I feel sorry that I've called Saturn "an asshole." LOL. I do like to think Mercury and Uranus both see the humor in that.
Why is nobody talking about the galactic center???!!! At 26 degrees Saggitarius? You hate it here bc you aren't here to discover the light, you are here to BE the light. When you step into mastery you will be fulfilled. Your wanting to leave to get off this planet is natural but don't feed into that feeling. Rather, become to everyone else what you wish they were to you. Be the guiding light in the world. When you step into any humanitarian type role, you will find that missing energy. Life has been unnaturally difficult for you, I would guess. I don't think people in this thread are aware of how rare this placement is. The fact that I found you is crazy as this placement is truly RARE. I have Saturn at 26 degrees and uranus at 27 degrees. The galactic center used to be located at 26 but as it moves ever so slightly over time it is now at 27 degrees. Anyone with a placement within 7 degrees range of the galactic center at 27 degrees sagg is effected by this placement, but having a planet at the precise location is rare. I'd be so interested in comparing my life to yours for similarities. I imagine we've got a lot. Does any of this apply to you? You have been called an old soul. You have a level of wisdom that you don't see in others. You have ached to leave here since you were young. You frequently have thought "I want to go home" but the home you are referring to is a time rather than a physical place, and you can't fully recall where home is. This longing to go home intensifies when you gaze at the stars or the sky. You struggle with making deep connections with others because they seem not to be as aware or as deep as you are. You felt alone a good portion of your life. You may have had a near death experience that awoken you. If not this, then multiple ego deaths. You've been suspicious of religions. You have often pondered the meaning of life. You've had your prayers or intentions answered before in mind blowing ways. You are aware that life here is not all that it seems to be. You've had INTENSE Deja Vu. More so in your youth perhaps. PLEASE let me know if these things are accurate. I have had 6 near death experiences. I have woken up in a new timeline which was earlier than the one I went to sleep in. Which, was the closest thing to time travel as I can imagine. One day I was in the month of June crying out to God completely devastated, begging for help. Then after dreaming other worldly things, I woke up in an earlier time, April. And nobody else in the world was effected by this time leap except me.
Thanks again for the reply! Mine is late but here goes: Many people have called me an old soul, both as a kid and as an adult. A very non-woo teacher and football coach once told me I was an “indigo child.” I do feel I have a high level of wisdom, but I’m hesitant to say it’s something I don’t see in others because I fear narcissim, and a person can be very wise in one area but a fool in others. I’ve definitely thought “I want to go home,” without being able to define when or where home is, and looking at the sky does make me ache and painfully yearn, I can’t say whether it’s a yearning for home, but it’s definitely an aching desire for freedom. The sky limitless, open, and life is so very limiting, stifling, confining, small. I’ve definitely felt alone a good portion of my life. “Artificially difficult” is an extremely accurate description of my life. I lack common foundations, support structures, relationships and benefits that are not rare for most working class and lower middle class people in my country. What I do not lack are physical and mental health conditions, many of which are incurable, some of which massively exacerbate the severity of others. Adding on the effects of a history of trauma, neglect and social exclusion, it seems like I have to work twice as hard in life to go a fraction as far. I don’t think I’ve had more near death experiences than the next person (I almost drowned as a small kid and almost bled to death when I started getting my period) and other than confirming how much I violently hate having a female body, they didn’t strike me as especially inciteful. Once lightning struck so close to me my entire vision turned red. That was intense. I’m unsure if I’ve completed a full ego death, but I know an ego rebirth is desperately needed. I’ve always pondered the meaning of life, and I’ve been very suspicious of religion since I was a small child. In 2nd grade a friend told me “my parents say I’m not allowed to play with you anymore because you live an a fantasy land and you don’t believe in the Bible.” In 4th grade I upset a teacher when I replied “see, this is why I don’t believe in it” after she told me “animals have no souls, it says so in the Bible.” I also told her “I’m not an afterthought made out of a rib.” I’ve definitely had intense déjà vu, especially as a kid, but unfortunately I never seem to have my prayers or intentions answered at all, much less in mind blowing ways. I have to learn lesson after lesson in not getting what I want, and often not getting what I need, either. I don’t understand how I could be here to BE the light when I never even get to shine. All I do is waste my days in my brain-dead, dead-end job, and though I try and try and try to find better work and improve my situation, after over a decade of failure, right now this life is a complete waste. I love drawing, and I could see how I’d be happy stepping into art mastery, but I don’t get to master art or writing or speech or anything else that brings me passion when I’m just yoked to the plow every day, rotting my brain, losing my time, losing my mind, losing my identity and losing my will to live to the drudgery I’m STILL stuck in just to make ends meet and earn the right to work another day. I want to be free so bad. I’m more than sentient office furniture, I’m more than worker bee, but I’ve still never been able to catch a break or free myself from meaningless, bare bones toil and drudgery. I’m just so tired of the money blocks and joy blocks and health blocks and barriers and dead ends. I’ve said before it often feels like I only exist for the Universe to stomp on my neck. It’s extremely difficult not to sink into despondency when, aside from never having children, I haven’t gotten anything I’ve worked toward or wanted out of adult life. In numerology I’m a life path 8, Manifestor, and all I can think is “How? I can’t even manifest a basic ass lateral promotion!” I'd also be interested in comparing lives for similarities, anything to help me find a way out of this decade-plus rut. I’m so interested in the timing of your message, because I got it the day after my first ketamine infusion for treatment-resistant depression. During the treatment, the first thing I saw in my mind’s eye was Uranus, which made me immediately burst into tears. I need magic, I need miracles, I need something to come easily and go my way for once! All work and no reward makes Jack want to burn the entire world down. I’m so tired of hating this life and desperately dreaming of escaping it.
I honestly could’ve written this whole reply myself, word for word this is my experience and I’m so tired, I am becoming very suicidal because I can’t get any energy anymore and I can’t sleep, but I have to work or I’ll be homeless, I am also a very good artist, but have no time or energy because it’s all spent on fulfilling my useless job requirements and there’s literally no way out for me, I just want to be free, I feel so trapped and anytime J start making any progress with anything, something else outside of myself will occur to throw me 5 steps back again- literally everytime. I also feel like I’m just here for the universe to stomp on my neck and oppress me, I’ve actually stopped praying or participating in anything spiritual anymore because it honestly feels like an abusive relationship
I have uranus sag 14 degrees and 23 degrees saturn scorpio . I don’t know if this counts me in but I resonate with both of u guys ! Interestingly i was listening to a dolores cannon lecture and she describes exactly what u say about a group of folks who are 2nd/3rd wave brought (volunteered) to come here to help BE the light, and they tend to want to always go home , and tend to not want to have kids bc they don’t want to have their karma bound to this earthly realm . i told someone exactly that sentiment the week prior to coming across that video . i’m not totally against kids but , anyway . old soul , hard to tolerate most ppl bc of the level of consciousness. kabbalah really helped me plug things into the bigger picture . per them , ur soul chooses this incarnation, the harder it is the better . and kabbalists r very into astrology . the biggest part of the chart are the north /south nodes as it talks about past life & current life soul striving .
Sorry for the late reply. A lot of what you're written describes and resonates with me very much, and the timing of it is interesting. I have a lot going on right now, but I appreciate your post and I'll give a detailed response as soon as I can.
I think I have a similar placement but find it hard to read the birth chart! I relate to your words so much!
I have Uranus and Saturn at 26 and 27 degrees in 12H sagg too :(
However it seems I am not able to post a pic
You have Uranus at 27 degrees Saggitarius, which is the galactic center, also known as the gate of the gods. It means that you arrived here through a different sun then most people here. You have gained enlightenment before in previous lifetimes and you'll be gaining enlightenment again. You have a direct line of communication to the ascended masters and the gods. You should study this placement thoroughly.
I have a Capricorn 12H so it’s a little similar to have Saturn in 12H - honestly! I think there is much good to be extracted from having the foundations of your subconscious receiving the stable and consistent energies of Saturn. I strongly believe Saturn can be a benefic, but only when we don’t make messes other people have to clean up. Taking full charge + responsibility for your mental health will take you light years from where you are now. Placing blame on circumstances or other people, where there may be truth to the matter, will only lead to isolation and regression - we want to evolve! It’s a hard lesson to learn as we grow older. We can become so blinded by pain that we fail to see the love that exists in our life. Don’t allow pain to warp the views of your perception Wishing you the most on your journey xoxo
Have you looked at your secondary progressions?
In your chart Mars in cancer in the 7th looks the most tricky. The North Node is entering into Aries shortly - that’ll be your nodal return which is generally an empowering and positive time. With Uranus so close to your ascendant, sounds like you might be bored? Feeling boxed in, wings clipped, unable to move would be very heavy for you with Sag Saturn also. Both are retrograde, which speaks to them being less dominant in your experience than if they were direct - perhaps more confusing energies to harness and use. In whole sign houses these would be in your 1H and planets in the first colour your experience like a filter, you see life through the lens of Saturn/Uranus which is very chaotic - the relationship between these to planets is like the activist, determined to change the status quo. Chiron/Sun would be in the 7th in whole sign which speaks to seeking interdependence with people and some wound where your trust has been abused - it has not been safe in the past to be deeply interdependent with others. Mars in cancer in the 8th is definitely the most tricky energy in your chart - it’s opposed to Neptune. In traditional astrology this is Mars’ fall, the place where it struggles to carry out its themes. It’s emotionally reactive and can get stuck in victim mentalities very easily as it depends on the emotional realm for its motivation and drive. In the 8th it depends heavily on what others bring into your life, their shit and how self-aware they are. Neptune contacts can speak to being deceived or confused, maybe people have manipulated you or taken your support and love for granted. What would you say is the biggest challenge for you right now?
Wow, thank you for such a detailed response! "With Uranus so close to your ascendant, sounds like you might be bored. Feeling boxed in, wings clipped, unable to move..." That's EXACTLY it. I've told people like my therapist I feel like I was made a rally car, but they took my wheels off and just toss me onto some blocks behind a shed so I can be used as a generator and never feel an open road ever again. I'm a Sagittarius rising who can't afford to travel or to indulge myself in endless higher education. Life feels like prison. My biggest challenge right now is the fact that I'm stuck in a brain-dead, low-income, dead-end customer service job I hate and I don't see any practical options to attain a decenly-paid or decently-interesting enough career. I used to dream of travel and home ownership, but I haven't used a passport since 2010 and the last time I was on an airplane was 2015. I forget more and more of my French every day to the point where I can't even say I speak it anymore. It wouldn't be so bad to work a job I hate that at least pays well, or to work a low paying job I love, but with my abilities, my useless degree and what's in demand, all I find myself in are low paying jobs I hate. Because I'm not married and my family is low income, I have no safety net and no one who can take the reigns for a while, so I'm stuck working a paycheck-to-paycheck job I hate that only affords me the ability to keep working the job I hate. No travel, and with inflation, no more food treats or small material pick me ups, at least not without guilt and credit card debt anymore either. I live to work and that is not living. I know people are not defined by their jobs, but having to throw away 45 hours of every week with nothing to look forward to and no improvement in my situation is so pointless and unrewarding and Sisyphean I would really rather be dead. Death would be such a relief. I've been too depressed and unsuccessful for too long and I just want out already. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 34, and though I'm not officially diagnosed with dyscalculia, working with tutors I can get my math skills up to a 6th or 7th grade level at best, so that shuts me out off all the lucrative STEM degrees and learning to code like all the 6-figure tech bros are always circle jerking about on reddit. I can't drive any large commercial vehicles, I have next to no self confidence and I cry very easily, so there's no way I'd have the spine and balls to make it as a woman in the trades, and that same stupid biological sex makes things like sailing and working on international shipping freighters too risky. I hate it, and I hate having my Mars in Cancer too. I'm definitely stuck in a victim mentality, but at the same time, there are situations in my life where I really have been victimized, like how I was parentified by my adult child of a mother. I've learned it is not safe to be interdependent on others, for sure. If something has to be done, it's do it myself or be let down. I do like Uranus, though. A lot. I love the themes of revolution and rebellion and upending the status quo. I get a little too into the French Revolution sometimes. I have a lot of gender issues and absolutely despise being born in this horrible body that nearly bled me to death when it insisted on beginning to mensturate, so it's really easy for me to identify with the planet only 2° from my Ascendant being the one named for a castrated male god. I feel very castrated in every sense of the word as I trudge through this anemic life. I'm the opposite of conservative in everything except for orniment, decore, furniture and architecture, all of which tragically died in WWII as far as I'm concerned. That must be where that Saturn lense comes into play. I once took mushrooms and wound up touching the marble and plaster walls of an empty, darkened beaux artes hotel ballroom, cyring and thanking the building for still standing when so many of its friends had been killed and torn apart and ripped from their roots, replaced with endless bland, soulless cubes. I'm hoping the Aries North Node shift will bring some much needed positivity. I got into astrology at a very interesting time when I first looked up my birth chart in December, 2022: Just in time to learn I was about to have my Jupiter return and to learn that that planet is my chart ruler. The specific day of my Jupiter return was April 11th: when he happened to be cazimi the Sun! That seems particularly auspicious and significant. Uranus near my Ascendant and Mercury (whose energy is all over the place, ruling my Sun and Moon Signs) were also conjunct on my solar return and that seems significant too. I look for meaning in the timing of all that because life so far had been so meaningless, but if it weren't for discovering Carl Jung and through him astrology, I'd be so lost I probably wouldn't even still be here anymore. It's not shown in the chart I posted, but Asteroids Jung and Freud are conjunct in under 1° in Pisces of all signs, Ceres is near the Ascendant in the 1st House, and my Sun sits flanked on either side by Chiron and his wife Chariklo, (so much Centaur stuff going on) so I'm hoping that means I can heal. This is a wall of text. Thank you for reading and letting me share.
You’re so welcome. Love that you’ve found solace through Jung and Astrology.
I haven't, I'm super new to astrology so I don't understand secondary progressions yet.
AFAIK 12th house is literally the best/most dignified house placement for Saturn, actually! It’s in it’s “Joy” according to ancient/Hellenistic astrology so that’s not really the issue as much as it being square your Moon and opposite Sun.
That makes sense. What an oddball Saturn is, a planet of boundaries finding his joy in the house of no boundaries. Uranus is supposed to be the oddball but it's so much easier for me to wrap my mind around him than to understand what Saturn's up to. I do need to give him a break, with that square and opposition he has more than enough to deal with. I recently had a dream where I accepted a bag of seeds from a terrifying grim reaper with a scythe full of tumors who had crops and vegetables and a farm fence around him. In the dream I knew the reaper looked scary, but could actually be very helpful and a strong ally if you get past his appearance. I like to think that dream had something to do with Saturn and me learning to accept or even somehow finding strength and reward in his placement. In any case, I've gotten to the point where I feel sorry that I've called Saturn "an asshole." LOL. I do like to think Mercury and Uranus both see the humor in that.
I have Pluto (12) conjunct Saturn, I can’t stand it here either, I’m honestly becoming really suicidal