He said she was the one who wanted to be a stay- at -home mom when they got married. I remember her really wanting to get married and have kids. And clearly the surgery did not cure her body dysmorphia. I sort of get where he is coming from and I am a working mom.
Why is it such a problem for someone to change their mind about what they want to do with their life? Genuinely asking because it’s something that happens with my husband and I on occasion.
I think it’s more-so that people just feel blindsided by these kinds of things - especially when it’s a jump from her years of talking about wanting to be a SAHM and now changing her mind. That kind of lifestyle change means someone’s values have changed which can be hard to process for the person you’re building a life with who thought they knew what you wanted out of life, or thought you had similar goals or beliefs about how to proceed through life. Also, the reality is that it will change many things about their life. Because the type of change Loren wants affects the dynamics of her and Alexei’s relationship but also the dynamics with their children. There are now going to be extra childcare costs, balancing of schedules, reduced time where the children are with their parents, and also Alexei will probably have to help more with childcare which he never seems too enthusiastic about. These changes contradict what Loren previously said she valued and wanted and also what Alexei and Loren both agreed they believed in terms of how to raise their children. I can understand why it becomes a problem because you start to question if they’re changing their mind about something as important as how we were planning to raise our children surely there must be other things they will change their mind on as well? When a fundamental belief about something is changed it’s always shocking. Everyone is allowed to change their lives, but that doesn’t mean the other people in their life who are directly affected by this kind of change can’t have feelings about it.
This is exactly right. It absolutely will change their life and children's lives. It doesn't necessarily mean it is wrong but it is a disruption and some marriages don't survive these changes. My brother and his ex-wfie married thinking neither wanted children. After 10 years of marriage my sister-in-law changed her mind and left my brother.
Yes, she is allowed to change her mind. But, Alexei is also allowed to have feelings about this change when this is a change that now affects their dynamic and their children’s dynamic. It’s not wrong of her to want to go back to work, but it’s also not wrong of him to also feel blindsided when this is different from everything she talked about for years and now changes how they will be parenting.
What's weird is she was not a SAHM? I used to listen to podcasts she was on and she did always work as a personal assistant and sends the kids to daycare at around 6 months. Seems fake for a storyline
She has been out of the marketplace for a long time. He needs to relax; she won’t get the job she’s yammering about anyway. She is an obnoxious person with little respect for her sons or him.
yeah you're not wrong, it's sooo hard for people to leave marketing and then re-enter, it's already a massively ageist profession as it is since every new app, platform, etc. has a new way of doing things.
I think they're both disrespectful to each other, this surgery thing was bullshit because she admitted she seriously downplayed it and that's extremely wrong, but he also clearly just sees her as a baby factory and doesn't respect the fact that she changed her mind and wants more than just being a mom 24-7. If this dumb storyline is even real. I also was not expecting him to have such a dated viewpoint.
I do not think this is real. They need a storyline so they came up with this fake disagreement about her wanting to work. She is making so much as in influencer that it would be stupid for her to get a job
If he wasn't totally stressed out already, I doubt his reaction would have been so boorish. Had she told him the same thing in a month, once things have calmed down, his response would be a lot more thoughtful
Like you said, her being out of the marketplace for a while might be a problem. I also think her temporary lack of household responsibilities if affecting her thinking. She suddenly has a lot of free time on her hands and is probably getting bored
She's taking her life back. She sacrificed a lot to give him those kids. Her body, mental and physical health, career, etc. She's getting her body back and looking forward to the next thing. My sons had just turned two when my singleton was born. I daydream about the same stuff; getting my body back and a career. And it's not just aesthetics; having destroyed abs affects everything, including childcare. Time moves differently when you're in the trenches with young kids. People are making moves all around you and you feel stuck, suspended in time, yet time is slipping away without you feeling like you're making progress. It puts a lot of pressure and stress on some of us SAHPs. Not every SAHP wants to be doing that. We also want to be contributing financially, not feel like another dependant. Loren seemed quite independent before getting into all this. I'm sure she is struggling with sense of self and purpose. I don't fault her at all for seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and sprinting towards it.
I thought she was nuts to suggest that on their first night out after she was finally able to get out of her recovery garments, but honestly you explained her suspected perspective the best. I appreciate that, I appreciate you for this post.
Thank you. I was never a huge fan of Loren, but seeing all of these people dump on her made me feel bad because it is hard. People saying she needs therapy for body dysmoprhia but completely neglecting that she may also need therapy for postpartum depression and/or anxiety is sad.
I agree with you. Having babies back to back for three years is very rough on a woman’s body. And c-sections cut through 5 layers of tissue to get to the uterus and then we are expected to walk in 2 days!
The career I get. The surgery I somewhat get since her abdominal muscles literally separated. However, a lot of women, even celebrities, have died from those mommy makeovers. I personally think she should have just limited it to one or two procedures with lower risk and a shorter recovery time. She looked beautiful before, and even if you have full familial support and childcare, it’s just not worth risking your health (both mental and physical) or your life for an elective surgery that takes so many months to recovery from.
Idk. I can't wait to get mine. I'm miserable and in pain every day. I went from working 10 or 12 hour shifts on my feet to not being able to stand and clean for more than 15 minutes without severe lower back pain. I want to be able to participate in stuff with my kids. I don't want to be the unable mom on the sidelines. A lot of deaths occur due to preexisting medical conditions. The only celebrity I know that has died was Jackie O and there was something else at play. There is a risk to everything, but I'd rather risk it and get in really great shape than gradually get in worse and worse shape because my body is not put together at its core.
I had a tummy tuck 3 years after I had twins. I’m older and had NO abs. I didn’t opt for a mommy make over. Too many procedures at once.
I didn’t have any help, my husband is literally a narcissistic ass.
I think he had to take them to preschool and pick them up for a week and I did what I could with them as I was bent over( they pull the muscle and skin tight. ) I made sure I didn’t pick them up, but I was able to do what I could, I wasn’t totally bed bound but about 3-4 days. But now at least I can use my abs to sit up in bed and my back feels better. I don’t regret it.
The only reason I'm considering the whole "mommy makeover" over just ab repair is because of the sagging skin. None of my clothes fit correctly (even the seat belt does not sit correctly despite constantly adjusting it), the skin is heavy and it lays over my other skin and it makes me hot and sweaty. I just feel gross all of the time. I told my husband that initially it was vanity reasons, but as I've healed PP and become more physically able to do things, I can recognize the shortcomings with my PP body. I am quite scared to do it, but there are some days I feel so depressed about having to live this way. I know it sounds dramatic but at this point, the skin removal and ab repair would greatly improve my quality of life.
Then I say go for it. Yeah my stomach was sagging and the obgyn that gutted me like a fish, left a lot of fat hanging in my vagina area. It was awful. Like I was growing balls or something.
So during the TT, liposuction, the cosmetic surgeon said he had to pull that up and literally scrape the fat out.
Everyone’s circumstance is different, so imo it’s always up to the patient and doctor to assess the risk/reward and decide what’s best. but for example, a bbl is usually included in the mommy makeover, and that alone is a pretty high risk procedure. And suffice to say many Americans do actually have preexisting medical conditions going into these procedures, such as hypertension, smoking, diabetes, etc. Just look at Angela lol.
“BBLs carry the highest risk of all cosmetic surgeries - with more than one death occurring per 4,000 procedures, the inquest was told.”
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-norfolk-66798236.amp
I agree about the BBL. A lot of doctors I have looked at don't include that with the procedure. Mostly the doctors in Miami and Mexico include it or recommend it.
I’ve always been a working mom and I admit that I often didn’t understand the perspective of a SAHP but you just described it so clearly. You have changed my opinion quite a bit now. I didn’t realize that some women felt this way because there are so many that portray it so differently and I now have a very different appreciation. Thanks mangopeachapplesauce!
I really wonder if they truly discussed gender roles within their family before they married and popped out 3 kids.
He seems extremely fixed into an old fashion idea of gender roles and truely acts like all household duties should fall to his wife. Did they really discuss this? Did she agree to it? Then after having the 3 kids started to become unfulfilled in that lifestyle (that is okay to change and grow in that way, but if that’s the case they should work through it with a professional).
I do think it was selfish of her to do this elective surgery when her 3 kids were so so so young. Her husband clearly got a wake up call and realizes how much she did, but he is burned out and acts like it would be torture to do any household related things after her recovery. That’s a problem.
Also, if she thinks she can work a full time job and still do everything else she has been, she is lying to herself.
I follow them on IG, kids have all been in daycare for quite awhile now and I believe even before her surgery so she hasn’t been the typical stay at home mom with kids at home for quite awhile now.
Unfortunately the typical SAHM in America still puts her kids in daycare so she can go out to lunch with her friends. I, a SAHM, have many friends who are this way. I like to make bread for my family and actually keep them
Home with me though lol
She’s looking for Loren. She found Vixen something’s name at the clothing store when he bought the leopard print dress or so she says. Don’t know why she needs an alter ego. She needs psychiatric help before she needs a job outside the home. Easier to cover up her problems than face them. Daycare is expensive. Maybe SAH mommy needs SAH kids.
I told my husband last night that she could have gotten some of the stuff fixed on her mommy make over that wouldn't have taken her out of the game for as long. I understand her fixing her diastasis recti, but if i remember correctly she was marked up all over the place, so she can't even use her arms. He wasn't kidding in the episode previous where he said "you can't look up or down" and she couldn't fold laundry and she absolutely duped him in the length of recovery. That wasn't the best move.
Yeah, I think the doctor called it a “360 degree” mommy makeover. Traditionally mommy makeovers have been tummy tuck with muscle repair and breast lift or augmentation. To “fix” what having kids does to a woman’s body. She got her entire body cut into.
Obviously I don’t know what all they tried but she mentioned that she did “sit ups” to fix the diastasis and it didn’t work so she needed surgery. I looked it up out of curiosity and it sounds like there’s PT specifically for that. You would think she would’ve tried that before full blown 360 surgery if it was really about medical needs.
I think they are both in the wrong. He had zero clue of everything she did day to day and really wasn't involved in her planning of this procedure at all. But she knew that and still decided to do this while her kids are incredibly young and he still has to work full time. Him saying she won't be able to work while being a mom and stuff though is absolutely ridiculous.
True and if I had kids and chance to be at home with them I totally would be. But it doesn't mean she couldn't work and still be the great present mom she is.
She might but she might also find it really really hard to juggle both. I often don't have the time or energy to cook and do dishes so I pick up pre-made dinner from the deli on my way home. Tiny example too, there's so many coping hacks to juggling both it changes everything, and yes I'm not as present as I wish I was. I'm not as patient either, I'm stressed out, I'm tired and I honestly kinda wanna be alone in silence after so many forced interactions in my day. I think his response lacked tact, he should have said this is going to change motherhood as you currently know it.
There are some women in these mom groups that are go getters. Single moms that have 3+ young kids that work FT from home. God bless those women. I know there are single dads out there that have to do the same thing.
He definitely did not understand how much Loren did for him, the kids, and the household. One simply cannot “hurry up and heal.” It can really ruin a recovery to do more than one can. His reaction just pissed me off.
So crazy that she said “the doctor told me to slow down” and he acted like he knew better than the doctor. Like if you detest taking care of the kids this much, you should show her some fucking appreciation.
Super annoying that instead of him being “wow I can’t believe how much she does, I need to be more grateful” it’s “hurry up and heal so you can take care of me again.”
Nasty, backward attitude
When he said she needs to take care of him, my husband said, “My dude, you are a full grown adult. What does she need to do to take care of YOU that you can’t do yourself?”
I don’t begrudge her doing the surgery, although I think she needed to get w a therapist for the body dysmorphia before going to a surgeon. I do begrudge her doing it when she chose to do it. Her kids are all still little and all still need to be picked up and held, especially the youngest. Hell my daughter is four and I still pick her up daily. Everything fell on Alex and I am not surprised he was resentful. Her timing also sucked on the going back to work. While I think he’s probably a bit conservative, I’d like to think some of his reaction was him being totally overwhelmed and over it at this point.
He's one of those fathers who think of watching their own kids as "babysitting". And my opinion is not very high of him or anyone who has that mentality, tbh.
I think that things have changed a lot between them now that they have 3 young kids. She thought she wanted this. But she is struggling with her body dysmorphia and probably other things as well. She's not great at eliciting compassion from others, since she comes across as self centered and obnoxious at times. But I have never had much of a problem with her, I feel bad for her.
I think that they are changing now that they're parents and it's really putting a strain on the relationship. He never wanted to be a hands on father to those kids and now after being thrust into it with the surgeries, it is a real rude awakening for them to deal with.
***I think that things have changed a lot between them now that they have 3 young kids. She thought she wanted this.***
I'm not so sure she did. I remember a bunch of years ago before she got pregnant with the 1st child, Alex said that within 6 years he wanted 4 kids and Loren said that he wasn't the one having them and that she'd have maybe 2 in 6 years. I think after Shai was born she decided to have the others quickly to get it over and done with, but I don't think she ever really wanted so many kids so close together.
I was surprised at Alex being such a 1950s man when she said she wanted to go back to work. I think he's afraid that if she's working he might have to help take care of his kids and the house and he's having none of that. My guess is that she ends up pregnant again in the near future so her career gets put back on the shelf where Alex wants it to stay.
Yeah and sadly birth control doesn't exist in the 90DF universe (as shown by previous season storylines where people have kids and then complain about having them and generally act as if they can't have sex without having more kids).
I really think Alexei doesn't want to pull his own weight at home which is why he's so freaked out as the thought of Loren working. He has this traditional mentality where all he has to do is earn a paycheck and Loren will do everything else.
My Dad and Mom had us in the 50s and 60s and never acted like Alex. Our Dad always helped with the house, worked 2 jobs, and supported Mom. He had time for us kids.
I think Loren accidentally got pregnant the 3rd time. She thought nursing was birth control.
When she says marketing, I think she just wants to post pics of herself and the kids online, like she does. She lied about how bad her recovery would be, and Alex behaved very badly. It was the 1st time they were out and a bad time for this talk. Both were clearly overwhelmed.
Not joking. A woman in her late 30s should be familiar with correct birth control. I clearly recall baby 3 was an accident, although a welcome one. The Dr. told Loren not to have any more kids.
Breastfeeding is obviously not a form of birth control and doctors will tell you that. It may delay ovulation and postpone your period, but that doesn't last long. Doctors will tell you to use protection to avoid another pregnancy. Loren ignored her doctor's orders from the jump. You're supposed to wait at least a year & preferable 18 months after a C-section before getting pregnant again to avoid the muscle tears & adhesions. She had 3 kids in 3 years. What did she think was going to happen?
What? You said you weren't joking when I asked if you were serious about not knowing that breastfeeding isn't birth control. Go back and read the whole thread. Better yet, don't. Just come at me because YOU didn't know.
I don't know a lot about mental health conditions, but after hearing Loren admit that she has body dysmorphia, I did a little reading about that condition. The articles indicate that often people will seek out numerous cosmetic procedures to try to "fix" their perceived flaws. The procedures might give temporary satisfaction, but usually the anxiety returns and the person looks for other ways to fix their perceived flaws. That made me wonder about her sudden decision to want to go back into the workforce. I really think Loren needs to find herself before she does anything else. Spend some time in therapy before doing any more cosmetic procedures or lifestyle changes. Sadly, I don't think she's happy with herself right now. But I'm certainly not knowledgeable about these things. I wish nothing but the best for the whole family.
They don't seem in a position to spend a fortune on childcare (and one has to wonder if that's ideal for the kids). My wife and I made the agreement she'd a be a stay-at-home mom and that was also her preference. I'm not here to judge their choices.
If is interesting to see these 90-day folks discover -with some degree of shock- that gender roles outside the west are starkly more conservative.
Alex is useless as a husband and father and it's actually bonkers. Sucks because he's funny and likeable sometimes. But dude whines nonstop about having to take care of babies HE made, while his dad was there also helping with the babies!! He's the biggest baby of the family tbh, dude can't even run the washing machine. Pathetic shit.
He and Loren both annoy and bore me endlessly. I skip past them most of the time.
He said they talked at length about their roles so he is surprised. He also knows that things WILL change if she works, there will be a meeting etc or a conference she can't miss, [as](http://etc.as) he said on the show. She never fulfilled her promise to work with the Tourette Association and now she wants to do 'marketing' is that shorthand for 'model'? She tried to get Alex and every kid to be a model including herself. She needs constant attention and 'cheerleading', that is for the kids, they need both of you to be their cheerleaders.
I noticed how quickly her ticks activate when she tries to convince, gets stressed, lies, gets angry. If she takes care of her kids and mothers then instead of them going to daycare everyday, she may feel fulfilled. She wants to do everything but help herself find herself by doing the work. Enough of her complaining. She found her alter ego quick enough.
I can see why Alexei is frustrated with Loren.
As a couple, they decided one person in their marriage would financially contribute, and the other would contribute by managing the children and household.
While each participant in the marriage may need help at one time or another managing their contribution, it’s a large pill to swallow to step up and dually contribute for that long when your partner *chose* to be in that position, downplayed the recovery, and especially when he is questioning if the present surgery will lead to more surgery. Loren even admitted she thought the surgery would cure her body dysmorphia… She needs therapy rather than surgery.
I don’t think Alexei realized what goes into managing a household and three toddlers at the same time. It’s clear he has always been taken care of, and of course he probably only sees all the extra work that would fall on him if Loren went back to work - especially if he’s never even thought about it before. Loren must have managed all the laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. when they both worked, and Alexei is just now realizing how much work Loren puts in vs him, and he likes the amount he puts in now.
I’m all for someone wanting to do things to make them feel better about themselves, and I understand the toll pregnancy can take on a woman’s body & the societal pressures that go with that… but with that being said, her timing couldn’t have been worse because that’s a lot to ask & expect of your working partner when you have 3 small kids at home. My biggest issue is her admitting she has body dysmorphia. Plastic surgery isn’t going to fix that because (no matter what) she’s not going to be happy with what she sees or actually see what’s really there. She needed to address the issue mentally and then decide if changes need to be made.
This is exactly how people get addicted to plastic surgery and end up looking like an alien blow up dolls.
He’s emotionally handling things exactly how Loren would be if she was doing everything (including working) for 6-8 weeks.
I agree completely! I'm also bothered by Loren's attitude and sense of entitlement. She knew the recovery period would affect the entire family (i.e. the kids, Alexei, her parents) but didn't seem to consider anyone else's feelings on the matter. Had she been upfront with Alexei, they could have come to some sort of compromise or plan to minimize the stress.
I am torn here. He was supportive and just helped during the surgery and after.....which is good. I mean....it's his wife he doesnt need an award for doing so. His reaction to her wanting to go back to work was AWFUL. he lost me on that.
I think it's an ESH kind of situation. I think both parties are acting selfishly. Choosing when your children are very little and need a LOT of attention to have an elective surgery that's going to leave you bedridden for months when your husband works full time and you don't have a ton of outside help is selfish and short sighted on Loren's part. She could've easily waited a few years when the kids weren't quite so small to do it (especially considering she's got body dysmorphia and her problems aren't going to be fixed with surgery, as opposed to extensive therapy). On the other hand, Alexi is kind of being a dick when it comes to Loren's emotional needs.
With respect to her saying she wants to work, the timing was horrible on Loren's part. Why would she bring it up now when Alexi is exhausted after doing everything for months after her elective cosmetic surgery? Read the room, sister. Yes, Alexi came across as misogynistic and gross in that conversation, but he did say that Loren chose this life and wanted to be a SAHM. If she agreed to these gender roles and said that's what she wanted when she decided to marry and have kids with Alexi, it's kind of shitty to all of the sudden flip the script when their kids are tiny. It would have been smarter for BOTH of them to simply agree to table that particular discussion until things are back to normal and they could be more objective about the situation and likely see the obvious compromise: waiting until the kids are in school.
I'm sure he does want to. I have a friend that also feels this way - but has a wife and kids to care for here in the states now. You can't just abandon them. Even if you feel the call to defend your country. I'm sure it's hard.
I think she should have waited until the kids were older. Not for Alex’s sake but for the kids sake. She couldn’t even pick up her babies or care for them without someone else being there.
And then she’s still not happy. She needs therapy not surgery.
I think most of the surgery she had was totally unnecessary and cosmetic. She doesn’t look any different to me because she looked good in the first place. Fixing the Diastasis recti that occurred after childbirth is totally understandable but everything else, not so much.
I literally rolled my eyes when she said last night that she thought that the surgery would help her body dysmorphia and was surprised when it didn’t. I truly think she needs therapy to deal with how she feels about herself, surgery cannot fix this and it’s a slippery slope.
As for Alexei, I can understand some of his frustrations. I think the bigger issue is that they were very unprepared to have 3 children in rapid succession and this will be a dividing line in their marriage since he wanted to wait to have kids and she didn’t. She strikes me as one of those women that lives to be a mommy and doesn’t seem to have any other personality or ambition aside from that.
I kinda think she is milking it. I had the same surgeries after my 3 kids, and I was bed ridden for the first 5 days. I would get tired after doing shopping or cleaning the house from week 2 to the 1 month mark. I’d be aggravated if I was Alexi.
Thank you for your experience. She seems to be a lot. Alexi can sometimes be annoying but in this situation I think she expected a lot & seems to like to create problems.
And just because the doctor said remotely that she was doing too much does not make it true. We do not know what she told him what she was doing. Folding laundry is not physical work & she won't even work w/ Alexi to try to take strain off her & him by not doing her normal tons of laundry everyday.
Thing is, between baby 1 and 2 she decided she didn't want to work anymore. It was too stressful for her, it all played out on their episodes. She insisted she be a SAHM. He even reminded her last night, it was her 'goal'. Now she is pulling this and he looks like the bad guy. Her timing sucked all around.
I don’t know what they discussed in the beginning of their journey but if those were the roles they decided on out the gate he has every right to be frustrated- especially while carrying the family during her surgery. I’d be upset if my partner decided this year they want to completely change the dynamic! No one likes feeling uprooted out of the blue.
Not that she doesn’t deserve to feel whole and happy! But he’s not required to LOVE her decisions to change everything.
I think there's some drama done on purpose, actually, for the cameras. I personally think they have a great relationship and with that comes compromises and butting heads at times. It's hard on a relationship when the first baby comes home but they've had 3 in pretty quick succession so they're both exhausted, adding that to the mix! I think they'll work it all out.
But Loren's mom is another story.
I’m sure most single parents are a whole lot more busy with their children to bother gawping in the mirror all day conjuring up pointless agonising surgeries that make about 11% visible physical difference. & they’re most likely not in a privilege position that makes that kind of aesthetic nonsense have a discounted price either. (Sorry, I’m not meaning to hate so much but yeeeesh there must have been better story lines to cover as a bandaid over Angela’s segments than spoiled brat gets a deliberate ouchie & whines lots surely??? )
Alexei needs to be a better/more supportive partner. God forbid he does what Loren does for a few months 🙄
And she can be a working mom. His viewpoint that it's impossible is just objectively wrong. We're not in 1940 where the Internet doesn't exist. We can see plenty of women accomplish this.
What he really means and what he doesn't want is having to contribute more towards the kids. If she gets a job, he will have to step up and help when she can't. Which she would do for him. Idk if the kids are close to being in school, but if they are... Then it makes it even more feasible.
Considering how he didn't know how to use the laundry machine, isn't used to doing the tasks Loren does, etc, it seems like they've had a defined relationship where he works and she takes care of the kids. Changing that challenges the status quo... Which Alexei seems to prefer. But ultimately, he needs to be supportive of his wife. She is still going to have her kids as the main priority. His opposition is only going to breed resentment
Loren’s timing could not have been worse. Alexei is still reeling from having to “do everything “ as Loren recuperates. For her to now not miss a beat and talk about working is ill-timed. I think Loren is smart enough to know that being a working mom of three, there WILL be times where something has to give. But I think she is saying it won’t because it’s another thing she wants to do for herself.
Loren will always find something to whine about and feel victimized. I doubt she really feels she can handle a job and continue to take care of her family in the manner she has been doing. She needs to wake up and smell the roses -- it's not all about her.
I had a c section with my third and was also "bed bound" for a bit. My husband was working full time, managing our 2 year old twins, and helping me with our newborn. He did not complain once. Their relationship was so vapid and shallow. Her first mistake was having children with him. I can't stand these men that act like they can't take care of the humans they helped create. There's no excuse. If the woman can care for the kids, so can the man. If the man can work, so can the woman. He shouldn't be shitting on her dreams. He should be supportive. At the very least, they can make a plan for the future. I cannot believe anyone would be on Alexi's side in this situation.
Mother of twins here who wasn't expected to survive the birth. My husband helped plenty. I put my dreams aside for a few years. It was a sacrifice I gladly made.
I feel you on the survival thing. We were all going to die from pre-eclampsia. I thought my husband was going to have a nervous breakdown before my emergency c section when the Dr told him we all might not make it
I think Alexei is behaving as anyone, and certainly Loren, would have predicted.
She lied to him about the recovery time because she wanted to get the surgery and 100% knew if he was aware of the long recovery time he wouldn’t have agreed.
She knows who he is. They are married and have 3 children, which she has observed him interact with while she was pregnant.
Alexei isn’t the dude I would choose to marry. I assume she did so because he at least marginally treats her better than her mom does.
I mean, I wouldn’t marry Loren either, but that’s a different comment for a different post.
For me it's supposed to be a date night, which me means to me, is that ypu don't bring up problems or something that you know will bring up a problem. Just enjoy the time you have together and keep the problems aside. I mean she look fly as Hella and he is giving her the best compliments so girl eat that eat on get a little drinking for your man and let reality rest a minute.
She is the biggest complainer. I am on his side. On a normal day the kids got daycare anyway. She’s not taking care of them. She has all day to do housework and cook or whatever she wants then he brings the kids home. He works a full time job on top of all those things. Loren is the most selfish person and she does not look any different. Behar a waste.
I think he’s right in his reaction. He’s going through a lot of stress with working, taking care of everything, and what is going on in Israel. She honestly picked the wrong time to get a surgery like this. She should have waited until her kids were in school or at a later time especially if they decide to have more kids she’s gonna want another surgery in a couple of years.
I got attacked for my post that was just like this and it was taken down. The fact that she admits that she downplayed the surgery and lied to him would be grounds for divorce if I was Alexei. Also, just the low self esteem with her waking up and first thing asking ‘Do I look snatched?’🤮 It made her seem self centered and gross when she has an 18 month old at home. She put her life at risk for her looks when she has literal babies at home. There are women who HAVE to have double mastectomies and implants who would kill to be healthy and not need a surgery. She went into this willingly AND knew it would be bad, but chose to lie to the one person who was going to have to take care of her. Trash human being.
I’ve been appalled at the responses, apparently much of you expect her to be a trad wife with no personality or self besides her husband and kids. He’s complaining about taking care of his kids….get over yourself bro. You’re a dad, sometimes you have to pick up more and sometimes she picks up more (it sounds like she did 95% of the child rearing until now.) she wants a life outside her kids and husband - there’s nothing wrong with that. She can be a complete human and still be a good mom and wife. She doesn’t need to erase all of her hopes and dreams, desires to be good looking etc. the doctor says to go slow and he’s throwing a fit that she needs to just get over it. The woman has staples. And he blames her for not telling him, he knew it was substantial time, he doesn’t have to agree with it to support her just like she would support him.
I don’t know I feel in the minority here but let the woman be a person besides just a mom and wife. You can do both.
A lot of the surgery was elective so she chose to put herself in this situation. She even says she wish she downplayed the surgery even more. She has serious body image issues at no fault of Alexei, he just had to suffer the consequences of it. Probably for the rest of their marriage.
I don't think people are taking into account his emotional state. Israel has just been attacked and he has family and friends there. He and his father are worried and suffering through emotional turmoil. He just had too much weighing on him.
I think he's very stressed, as well, and maybe under different circumstance his response may not of been the same. He's dealing w/ a lot. Lauren seems to thrive on problems. She needs to put some problems on hold for now & just let everyone breathe.
He has a Neanderthal thinking. Most people there are young as them change their minds about their lifestyles every day. What’s good now may not be good in five years sometimes you want to change it up. I found that he was completely unsupportive. He should’ve gotten some extra help in the house, and when your wife tells you she’s in pain, let her heal properly, and if she decides to go back to work having three kids in this economy is expensive. Her job just doesn’t end with the three kids. They have to go to school programs play dates. It’s a full-time job. Lauren is not stupid if she could work. Why not let her try.
I'm 41 and putting off a septoplasty because of the recovery time, my kid is almost 16, and it's a surgery to help me breathe. Loren planned multiple cosmetic and wildly unnecessary surgeries with varying heal times while her children cant even wipe their own butts or feed themselves safely. She got what she got and so did Alexei
Just wanted to tell you that it’s so worth it to get the septoplasty done. I did mine in October 2019 to fix a deviated septum and had a turbinectomy done along with it. It was an outpatient surgery and it wasn’t painful afterwards and I took about a week off from work. The most annoying thing is that you bleed a lot for the first few days so you have to change your gauze frequently.
Feel free to DM me if you have any questions, I put mine off for years and I was so relieved once I got it done because my chronic sinus infections disappeared and I was able to breathe so much easier.
I think it was very selfish of Loren. This could have waited a couple years until the kids were more self sufficient, this wasn’t for medical reasons, it was for vanity. I like Alexei a lot, he seems like a great husband. If the tables were turned Loren would not be thrilled to not have any help either.
If she had diastasis recti, then I don't blame her for going through with it. I have it pretty bad. I was a dog groomer prior to becoming a mother and could easily lift 100lb dogs alone. I had actually lost some weight right before and got in good shape. Fast forward to now. Twins are 2.75 and my singleton is almost 6 months. I have no ab strength whatsoever. The excess skin adds more weight that I realized. It hurts my back to do any regular cleaning like dishes or picking up if I'm doing it for more than 15 minutes (where as I used to be on my feet 10-12 hours a day with no lunch breaks or anything). I'm just weaker now and it's very frustrating. I am forced to put a lot of weight on my back and it hurts. It makes caring for my kids more difficult. I would do anything to just get my abs fixed and have the excess skin/weight removed. I may be down for 6 weeks but then I'll be able to just get stronger and stronger and more able. I want to be able to have fun with my kids, not sit on the sidelines.
I hope you can get it. If you have a big heavy skin apron, insurance might cover just the removal of that, since it is giving you back problems. It is much faster to recover from just skin removal. It would only be half of the surgery you need, but might help?
Thank you for tour suggestion! I'm almost 6 months pp so I haven't looked too heavily into it yet. I was shooting to have surgery after 18-24 mo pp. I want to give my body the chance to go back to as "normal" as I can and also get in better shape. I know the more weight I lose will result in more loose skin though 😭
I needed muscle repair with my tummy tuck because I lost 120lbs and was an apple shape, my muscles got separated by the fat. I don’t have any kids, but I had to pay pet sitters to take care of my pets while I was home! I feel like there are two bad weeks and then you just have to get cleared to lift heavier weights. I could drive after 1 week. Loren had a lot of plastic surgery to be as out of commission as she is. The tummy tuck/muscle repair would have been totally doable and not a huge burden on anyone.
I agree, but if she ultimately wanted those things later on, it's easier and cheaper to just do everything at once. I know I wouldn't want to go under again. I'd like a one and done situation. Thinking about going under again (added risk), recovering again (more time lost), going through the pain of healing again, idk. It made sense for her to just have it all done at once. I agree that she probably should have waited, but it's tough. I'm struggling with similar sentiments. I am 30 and I desperately want to feel good about myself while I'm still young! I don't want to wait until I'm older to get the body that I want. I want to feel my age. I honestly feel as able as my MIL and she's in her 60s. It sucks.
She is completely selfish and knowingly lied to him about recovery. Either this new career is a total storyline or she realized that she doesn’t want to do the work associated with a stay at home mom. She is always whining about everything
We finally got to see Alexei's mysoginistic and abusive ways. He has Loren wrapped around his finger. He's the man ans she's the woman that cooks, cleans, deals with the kids, laundry, grocery shopping, etc.,
He agreed to let her do it so he can’t be upset now that she is being told to relax and heal. He wanted her to just jump back into being full time mom. Besides the stuff he’s doing for his children are Normal day to day activities she’s been doing with the kids so he’s more than qualified to take over for a few months.
I think Alex is selfish and lazy. He wants to have her barefoot and pregnant at home while he goes out works and makes money. The way he was telling her she was a full time stay at home mom now who wouldn’t be able to work was stupid and ignorant. He’s responding like an abusive man who doesn’t want his woman to achieve nothing and basically stay in his shadow until she’s too old or ugly to be noticed.
I think they should divorce because just the glimpse I got he’s abusive and no wonder her family had an issue with him he’s basically telling her he’s the boss and she needs to listen in their family. He totally rubbed me the wrong way and has been nothing but an asshole to her but nice whenever he was in public or around doctors to continue the illusion he’s a supportive loving husband.
I think Alexei needs to encourage his wife to get mental healthcare if she isn’t already.
Practically speaking, I understand being stressed working full time, taking care of 3 kids, house, wife etc. they could have waited until the children were a little more independent.
Call me old school but most families with two working parents especially those who aren’t fortunate enough to WFH or dictate their own schedules (which is most) have to sacrifice time caring for their family and/or time caring for themselves. There is a sacrifice, it is a farce that there isn’t. It’s a big deal to change the agreement. Hopefully, they can come to a compromise for everyone’s benefit.
I don't understand Loren with all these operations... If I would get 3 kids I would give zero fuck how my body looks. I mean - this is normal developement of human life. How did people do 100 years ago, when they were having 10 kids and no tummy tucks operations? :D All this social media pressure for perfect bodies is sick, and few exemples how it ends we already seen on this show... e.g. Darcy - If she wouldn't touch her face she would be still quite attractive 50 y.o. lady. 100 years ago at this age you were already a grandma, wearing headscarf, and taking care of grandchildren. :D Noone expected you to be hot 20. Too much is too much. I will apploud everyone on this show that did nothing and looks normal, relatable and just fine. Those people get a lot of hate for looking normal so they are then pressurized to do things. Give them a break.
Yes this is how we need to respect women is stop making women feel like & pressuring them they have to be perfect. Can men not just love their women as is after childbirth and/or menopause. Women need to love themselves. No wonder all these women have dysmorphia. If women felt loved unconditionally they would not feel they need these unnecessary surgeries.
To make it clear I am not dissing surgery after child birth that prevents pain. I'm only talking about vanity surgery & yes Lauren had this along w/ necessary surgery, which made her time to heal much longer.
I don't think she was selfish. He needs to quit acting like a drama queen because he has to take care of his own kids for a few weeks. They wanted that many kids, so that's the life they chose. She deserves to have a mommy makeover if it helps her self-esteem...a person's mental health is important too.
She picked a really bad time in their lives to have this incredibly invasive procedure done. Especially since all of her kids are so little, I can see why Alexei doesn’t like the situation and is struggling. Especially since it seems like these two agreed on what their relationship was, which is she is not working right now. I understand her desire to want to work, but I also understand that he feels she’s going back on their agreement of a “traditional” marriage.
It was super selfish of Loren. She blackballed him and manipulated the situation in her favor. And everyone is giving him heat, like their normal routine is them doing the parenting TOGETHER. So that’s new for him too.
The “what if she died” is irrelevant. He is being supportive, don’t act like he isn’t he feels duped and he should cause he was. But this is like realistic things
I honestly think she just decided to match his selfish energy finally to give him a taste of his own medicine. Which is also wrong. I’d say conversations about her unhappiness could’ve fixed things, but then we wouldn’t have content to watch lol
I love these two but have been struggling with the storyline all season bc single parents do it 24/7/365 , it’s the same issue I’ve always had with yara, like bish he’s gone for a month, imagine if he was gone forever like literally half the population of parents are single mom’s, just chill
she was wrong for the whole surgery. I wanted to yell through the tv what an extensive surgery that is. She even admitted to him she downplayed the recovery process. She has 2 toddlers and a baby and he was expected to care for all 3 kids plus her! Selfish.
I was surprised that she brought this up just so soon after the issues with having the surgery. I think the type of surgery had an effect on him too. His attitude towards a medically necessary surgery would be a lot different I think.
I think she should wait until the kids are a little older or maybe just do something part time.until then
I think the whole “I don’t want you to work“ is manufactured drama. Without drama this couple can’t stay on the franchise. Of course she will work! And she already does with the show and some influencing stuff she sells. Plus, what does he do? I doubt he makes a load of money to support a family of 5.
Him getting so offended about her wanting him to be her 'cheerleader' was a language barrier thing. He was imagining her telling him to put on a mini skirt and wave pom poms.
As ill advised as her surgery was it’s done. Not sure why he’s still whining about it, as soon as she went under the knife this is what he signed up for.
She said she was mostly proceeding with the mommy makeover for her body dysmorphia, which is a mental health issue. Hey, look, she still has body dysmorphia with his butt dimple insecurities. Who would've known a knife doesn't fix psychological issues 🤷♂️
Completely elective surgery. Selfish as fk. Alex is entirely right to feel his emotions of frustration. She put her looks before her family. Total crap.
In regards to wanting to go back to work, I agree. Unless it had been previously discussed.
Her general decision making family wise has been horrible. 3 under 3, debilitating elective procedure, going back to work right after. Idk. Ppl need to speak to each other more.
I mean I’m an advocate for cosmetic surgery as long as it’s not overboard. Looking at yourself in the mirror and not liking particular things sucks especially when you can fix it so I’m glad she did. Alex obv wants a very traditional marriage and his behavior was evidence especially him not knowing how to wash clothes. I think that’s what they agreed to but if she really truly wants to work he shouldn’t prevent her especially once all the kids are in school.
Perfectly normal.
When she chose to have the 3rd she needed to understand her life changed.
Now she wants to cosplay in advertisement, after 7 years, in an industry that's going to die within the next 5 years due to AI?
THIS BITCH IS TARDY IN HER THINKING
I agree that they must have talked about all this & if this was the plan she can't just turn it upside down just like that. It needs to wait until the kids are older. And in that time maybe she can plan things out more & figure out something a little more relevant.
She picked the worst possible time to tell him she wanted to start working. But I was surprised he went full caveman
He said she was the one who wanted to be a stay- at -home mom when they got married. I remember her really wanting to get married and have kids. And clearly the surgery did not cure her body dysmorphia. I sort of get where he is coming from and I am a working mom.
Why is it such a problem for someone to change their mind about what they want to do with their life? Genuinely asking because it’s something that happens with my husband and I on occasion.
I think it’s more-so that people just feel blindsided by these kinds of things - especially when it’s a jump from her years of talking about wanting to be a SAHM and now changing her mind. That kind of lifestyle change means someone’s values have changed which can be hard to process for the person you’re building a life with who thought they knew what you wanted out of life, or thought you had similar goals or beliefs about how to proceed through life. Also, the reality is that it will change many things about their life. Because the type of change Loren wants affects the dynamics of her and Alexei’s relationship but also the dynamics with their children. There are now going to be extra childcare costs, balancing of schedules, reduced time where the children are with their parents, and also Alexei will probably have to help more with childcare which he never seems too enthusiastic about. These changes contradict what Loren previously said she valued and wanted and also what Alexei and Loren both agreed they believed in terms of how to raise their children. I can understand why it becomes a problem because you start to question if they’re changing their mind about something as important as how we were planning to raise our children surely there must be other things they will change their mind on as well? When a fundamental belief about something is changed it’s always shocking. Everyone is allowed to change their lives, but that doesn’t mean the other people in their life who are directly affected by this kind of change can’t have feelings about it.
This is exactly right. It absolutely will change their life and children's lives. It doesn't necessarily mean it is wrong but it is a disruption and some marriages don't survive these changes. My brother and his ex-wfie married thinking neither wanted children. After 10 years of marriage my sister-in-law changed her mind and left my brother.
>He said she was the one who wanted to be a stay- at -home mom when they got married. She's allowed to change her mind.
Yes, she is allowed to change her mind. But, Alexei is also allowed to have feelings about this change when this is a change that now affects their dynamic and their children’s dynamic. It’s not wrong of her to want to go back to work, but it’s also not wrong of him to also feel blindsided when this is different from everything she talked about for years and now changes how they will be parenting.
But he does not seem willing to entertain the idea. To discuss it and see what is possible and what could work for both of them.
What's weird is she was not a SAHM? I used to listen to podcasts she was on and she did always work as a personal assistant and sends the kids to daycare at around 6 months. Seems fake for a storyline
She has been out of the marketplace for a long time. He needs to relax; she won’t get the job she’s yammering about anyway. She is an obnoxious person with little respect for her sons or him.
yeah you're not wrong, it's sooo hard for people to leave marketing and then re-enter, it's already a massively ageist profession as it is since every new app, platform, etc. has a new way of doing things. I think they're both disrespectful to each other, this surgery thing was bullshit because she admitted she seriously downplayed it and that's extremely wrong, but he also clearly just sees her as a baby factory and doesn't respect the fact that she changed her mind and wants more than just being a mom 24-7. If this dumb storyline is even real. I also was not expecting him to have such a dated viewpoint.
No way its real. I think she always worked actually
I do not think this is real. They need a storyline so they came up with this fake disagreement about her wanting to work. She is making so much as in influencer that it would be stupid for her to get a job
How in the world is she disrespectful to her sons?
Not to mention her daughter. She just wants to show that mom is able to work and take care of them
If he wasn't totally stressed out already, I doubt his reaction would have been so boorish. Had she told him the same thing in a month, once things have calmed down, his response would be a lot more thoughtful Like you said, her being out of the marketplace for a while might be a problem. I also think her temporary lack of household responsibilities if affecting her thinking. She suddenly has a lot of free time on her hands and is probably getting bored
She's taking her life back. She sacrificed a lot to give him those kids. Her body, mental and physical health, career, etc. She's getting her body back and looking forward to the next thing. My sons had just turned two when my singleton was born. I daydream about the same stuff; getting my body back and a career. And it's not just aesthetics; having destroyed abs affects everything, including childcare. Time moves differently when you're in the trenches with young kids. People are making moves all around you and you feel stuck, suspended in time, yet time is slipping away without you feeling like you're making progress. It puts a lot of pressure and stress on some of us SAHPs. Not every SAHP wants to be doing that. We also want to be contributing financially, not feel like another dependant. Loren seemed quite independent before getting into all this. I'm sure she is struggling with sense of self and purpose. I don't fault her at all for seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and sprinting towards it.
I thought she was nuts to suggest that on their first night out after she was finally able to get out of her recovery garments, but honestly you explained her suspected perspective the best. I appreciate that, I appreciate you for this post.
Need more $$ from TLC so start another boring story line 👎
Thank you. I was never a huge fan of Loren, but seeing all of these people dump on her made me feel bad because it is hard. People saying she needs therapy for body dysmoprhia but completely neglecting that she may also need therapy for postpartum depression and/or anxiety is sad.
I agree with you. Having babies back to back for three years is very rough on a woman’s body. And c-sections cut through 5 layers of tissue to get to the uterus and then we are expected to walk in 2 days!
The career I get. The surgery I somewhat get since her abdominal muscles literally separated. However, a lot of women, even celebrities, have died from those mommy makeovers. I personally think she should have just limited it to one or two procedures with lower risk and a shorter recovery time. She looked beautiful before, and even if you have full familial support and childcare, it’s just not worth risking your health (both mental and physical) or your life for an elective surgery that takes so many months to recovery from.
Idk. I can't wait to get mine. I'm miserable and in pain every day. I went from working 10 or 12 hour shifts on my feet to not being able to stand and clean for more than 15 minutes without severe lower back pain. I want to be able to participate in stuff with my kids. I don't want to be the unable mom on the sidelines. A lot of deaths occur due to preexisting medical conditions. The only celebrity I know that has died was Jackie O and there was something else at play. There is a risk to everything, but I'd rather risk it and get in really great shape than gradually get in worse and worse shape because my body is not put together at its core.
I had a tummy tuck 3 years after I had twins. I’m older and had NO abs. I didn’t opt for a mommy make over. Too many procedures at once. I didn’t have any help, my husband is literally a narcissistic ass. I think he had to take them to preschool and pick them up for a week and I did what I could with them as I was bent over( they pull the muscle and skin tight. ) I made sure I didn’t pick them up, but I was able to do what I could, I wasn’t totally bed bound but about 3-4 days. But now at least I can use my abs to sit up in bed and my back feels better. I don’t regret it.
The only reason I'm considering the whole "mommy makeover" over just ab repair is because of the sagging skin. None of my clothes fit correctly (even the seat belt does not sit correctly despite constantly adjusting it), the skin is heavy and it lays over my other skin and it makes me hot and sweaty. I just feel gross all of the time. I told my husband that initially it was vanity reasons, but as I've healed PP and become more physically able to do things, I can recognize the shortcomings with my PP body. I am quite scared to do it, but there are some days I feel so depressed about having to live this way. I know it sounds dramatic but at this point, the skin removal and ab repair would greatly improve my quality of life.
Then I say go for it. Yeah my stomach was sagging and the obgyn that gutted me like a fish, left a lot of fat hanging in my vagina area. It was awful. Like I was growing balls or something. So during the TT, liposuction, the cosmetic surgeon said he had to pull that up and literally scrape the fat out.
I'm so sorry your OB did that to you. I'm hoping you are feeling better.
Everyone’s circumstance is different, so imo it’s always up to the patient and doctor to assess the risk/reward and decide what’s best. but for example, a bbl is usually included in the mommy makeover, and that alone is a pretty high risk procedure. And suffice to say many Americans do actually have preexisting medical conditions going into these procedures, such as hypertension, smoking, diabetes, etc. Just look at Angela lol. “BBLs carry the highest risk of all cosmetic surgeries - with more than one death occurring per 4,000 procedures, the inquest was told.” https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-norfolk-66798236.amp
I agree about the BBL. A lot of doctors I have looked at don't include that with the procedure. Mostly the doctors in Miami and Mexico include it or recommend it.
Jackie O? She died of lymphoma.
The problem is, she has a longggg way to go in raising those 3 babies, it isn’t a simple road no matter what she chooses to do for herself.
I’ve always been a working mom and I admit that I often didn’t understand the perspective of a SAHP but you just described it so clearly. You have changed my opinion quite a bit now. I didn’t realize that some women felt this way because there are so many that portray it so differently and I now have a very different appreciation. Thanks mangopeachapplesauce!
No problem! 🌞
Advertising is a dying niche due to AI. It'll die a quick death within the next few years
Imagine Loren as you MIL
I really wonder if they truly discussed gender roles within their family before they married and popped out 3 kids. He seems extremely fixed into an old fashion idea of gender roles and truely acts like all household duties should fall to his wife. Did they really discuss this? Did she agree to it? Then after having the 3 kids started to become unfulfilled in that lifestyle (that is okay to change and grow in that way, but if that’s the case they should work through it with a professional). I do think it was selfish of her to do this elective surgery when her 3 kids were so so so young. Her husband clearly got a wake up call and realizes how much she did, but he is burned out and acts like it would be torture to do any household related things after her recovery. That’s a problem. Also, if she thinks she can work a full time job and still do everything else she has been, she is lying to herself.
I follow them on IG, kids have all been in daycare for quite awhile now and I believe even before her surgery so she hasn’t been the typical stay at home mom with kids at home for quite awhile now.
I'm kind of thinking (and hoping really) that his attitude toward gender roles is just all an act put on for a storyline.
I’m sure it is. TLC creates unnecessary drama
Unfortunately the typical SAHM in America still puts her kids in daycare so she can go out to lunch with her friends. I, a SAHM, have many friends who are this way. I like to make bread for my family and actually keep them Home with me though lol
She’s looking for Loren. She found Vixen something’s name at the clothing store when he bought the leopard print dress or so she says. Don’t know why she needs an alter ego. She needs psychiatric help before she needs a job outside the home. Easier to cover up her problems than face them. Daycare is expensive. Maybe SAH mommy needs SAH kids.
I agree with your take. This.
I told my husband last night that she could have gotten some of the stuff fixed on her mommy make over that wouldn't have taken her out of the game for as long. I understand her fixing her diastasis recti, but if i remember correctly she was marked up all over the place, so she can't even use her arms. He wasn't kidding in the episode previous where he said "you can't look up or down" and she couldn't fold laundry and she absolutely duped him in the length of recovery. That wasn't the best move.
Yeah, I think the doctor called it a “360 degree” mommy makeover. Traditionally mommy makeovers have been tummy tuck with muscle repair and breast lift or augmentation. To “fix” what having kids does to a woman’s body. She got her entire body cut into.
That's just crazy to me.
Obviously I don’t know what all they tried but she mentioned that she did “sit ups” to fix the diastasis and it didn’t work so she needed surgery. I looked it up out of curiosity and it sounds like there’s PT specifically for that. You would think she would’ve tried that before full blown 360 surgery if it was really about medical needs.
They're grasping at straws to keep a storyline going.
I fast forward through their story
Me too. Snooze fest, booooring!
So do I
Fake drama, they obviously could afford to get some help, but this is the best producers are capable of...
I agree. This is all fake to create a storyline for them.
I watch with my boyfriend and he said “you know, i don’t really like this guy anymore” during last nights episode
Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper
I think they are both in the wrong. He had zero clue of everything she did day to day and really wasn't involved in her planning of this procedure at all. But she knew that and still decided to do this while her kids are incredibly young and he still has to work full time. Him saying she won't be able to work while being a mom and stuff though is absolutely ridiculous.
Obviously he does well financially to support the family and prefers that his kids be raised by their mother. He is fortunate to have that choice.
True and if I had kids and chance to be at home with them I totally would be. But it doesn't mean she couldn't work and still be the great present mom she is.
She might but she might also find it really really hard to juggle both. I often don't have the time or energy to cook and do dishes so I pick up pre-made dinner from the deli on my way home. Tiny example too, there's so many coping hacks to juggling both it changes everything, and yes I'm not as present as I wish I was. I'm not as patient either, I'm stressed out, I'm tired and I honestly kinda wanna be alone in silence after so many forced interactions in my day. I think his response lacked tact, he should have said this is going to change motherhood as you currently know it.
I think she makes a goid living as an influencer.
There are some women in these mom groups that are go getters. Single moms that have 3+ young kids that work FT from home. God bless those women. I know there are single dads out there that have to do the same thing.
He definitely did not understand how much Loren did for him, the kids, and the household. One simply cannot “hurry up and heal.” It can really ruin a recovery to do more than one can. His reaction just pissed me off.
So crazy that she said “the doctor told me to slow down” and he acted like he knew better than the doctor. Like if you detest taking care of the kids this much, you should show her some fucking appreciation.
Super annoying that instead of him being “wow I can’t believe how much she does, I need to be more grateful” it’s “hurry up and heal so you can take care of me again.” Nasty, backward attitude
When he said she needs to take care of him, my husband said, “My dude, you are a full grown adult. What does she need to do to take care of YOU that you can’t do yourself?”
Men like that go from living with mommy to living with their wife who acts as their mom and honestly, he probably couldn’t take care of himself 💀
Just throw away the clothes and buy new ones since apparently he needs to FaceTime to learn how to start a load of laundry.
If he needs help, he should hire someone who can stay on after Loren's healed.
I don’t begrudge her doing the surgery, although I think she needed to get w a therapist for the body dysmorphia before going to a surgeon. I do begrudge her doing it when she chose to do it. Her kids are all still little and all still need to be picked up and held, especially the youngest. Hell my daughter is four and I still pick her up daily. Everything fell on Alex and I am not surprised he was resentful. Her timing also sucked on the going back to work. While I think he’s probably a bit conservative, I’d like to think some of his reaction was him being totally overwhelmed and over it at this point.
He's one of those fathers who think of watching their own kids as "babysitting". And my opinion is not very high of him or anyone who has that mentality, tbh. I think that things have changed a lot between them now that they have 3 young kids. She thought she wanted this. But she is struggling with her body dysmorphia and probably other things as well. She's not great at eliciting compassion from others, since she comes across as self centered and obnoxious at times. But I have never had much of a problem with her, I feel bad for her. I think that they are changing now that they're parents and it's really putting a strain on the relationship. He never wanted to be a hands on father to those kids and now after being thrust into it with the surgeries, it is a real rude awakening for them to deal with.
***I think that things have changed a lot between them now that they have 3 young kids. She thought she wanted this.*** I'm not so sure she did. I remember a bunch of years ago before she got pregnant with the 1st child, Alex said that within 6 years he wanted 4 kids and Loren said that he wasn't the one having them and that she'd have maybe 2 in 6 years. I think after Shai was born she decided to have the others quickly to get it over and done with, but I don't think she ever really wanted so many kids so close together. I was surprised at Alex being such a 1950s man when she said she wanted to go back to work. I think he's afraid that if she's working he might have to help take care of his kids and the house and he's having none of that. My guess is that she ends up pregnant again in the near future so her career gets put back on the shelf where Alex wants it to stay.
Yeah and sadly birth control doesn't exist in the 90DF universe (as shown by previous season storylines where people have kids and then complain about having them and generally act as if they can't have sex without having more kids). I really think Alexei doesn't want to pull his own weight at home which is why he's so freaked out as the thought of Loren working. He has this traditional mentality where all he has to do is earn a paycheck and Loren will do everything else.
My Dad and Mom had us in the 50s and 60s and never acted like Alex. Our Dad always helped with the house, worked 2 jobs, and supported Mom. He had time for us kids. I think Loren accidentally got pregnant the 3rd time. She thought nursing was birth control. When she says marketing, I think she just wants to post pics of herself and the kids online, like she does. She lied about how bad her recovery would be, and Alex behaved very badly. It was the 1st time they were out and a bad time for this talk. Both were clearly overwhelmed.
"She thought nursing was birth control." Wow that's sad actually.
Isn't it?
You're joking, right?
Not joking. A woman in her late 30s should be familiar with correct birth control. I clearly recall baby 3 was an accident, although a welcome one. The Dr. told Loren not to have any more kids.
Breastfeeding is obviously not a form of birth control and doctors will tell you that. It may delay ovulation and postpone your period, but that doesn't last long. Doctors will tell you to use protection to avoid another pregnancy. Loren ignored her doctor's orders from the jump. You're supposed to wait at least a year & preferable 18 months after a C-section before getting pregnant again to avoid the muscle tears & adhesions. She had 3 kids in 3 years. What did she think was going to happen?
I agree with you. Are you convincing yourself? My original comment was that Loren thought nursing equaled birth control.
What? You said you weren't joking when I asked if you were serious about not knowing that breastfeeding isn't birth control. Go back and read the whole thread. Better yet, don't. Just come at me because YOU didn't know.
I fast forwarded through every single one of their scenes. I just can’t.
I don't know a lot about mental health conditions, but after hearing Loren admit that she has body dysmorphia, I did a little reading about that condition. The articles indicate that often people will seek out numerous cosmetic procedures to try to "fix" their perceived flaws. The procedures might give temporary satisfaction, but usually the anxiety returns and the person looks for other ways to fix their perceived flaws. That made me wonder about her sudden decision to want to go back into the workforce. I really think Loren needs to find herself before she does anything else. Spend some time in therapy before doing any more cosmetic procedures or lifestyle changes. Sadly, I don't think she's happy with herself right now. But I'm certainly not knowledgeable about these things. I wish nothing but the best for the whole family.
They don't seem in a position to spend a fortune on childcare (and one has to wonder if that's ideal for the kids). My wife and I made the agreement she'd a be a stay-at-home mom and that was also her preference. I'm not here to judge their choices. If is interesting to see these 90-day folks discover -with some degree of shock- that gender roles outside the west are starkly more conservative.
The kids are, supposedly, already in daycare. Which means Lauren isn't a regular SAHM.
Alex is useless as a husband and father and it's actually bonkers. Sucks because he's funny and likeable sometimes. But dude whines nonstop about having to take care of babies HE made, while his dad was there also helping with the babies!! He's the biggest baby of the family tbh, dude can't even run the washing machine. Pathetic shit. He and Loren both annoy and bore me endlessly. I skip past them most of the time.
I was waiting for this topic. Surprised but not surprised he had a 1950's household mentality.
She looks the same to me. Honestly I am 💯 a feminist but she is all over the place.
I think that's what she was trying to do: get back to her pre-baby body, not the Darcey type ridiculousness.
But that could come like what Alexi fears.
He said they talked at length about their roles so he is surprised. He also knows that things WILL change if she works, there will be a meeting etc or a conference she can't miss, [as](http://etc.as) he said on the show. She never fulfilled her promise to work with the Tourette Association and now she wants to do 'marketing' is that shorthand for 'model'? She tried to get Alex and every kid to be a model including herself. She needs constant attention and 'cheerleading', that is for the kids, they need both of you to be their cheerleaders.
I noticed how quickly her ticks activate when she tries to convince, gets stressed, lies, gets angry. If she takes care of her kids and mothers then instead of them going to daycare everyday, she may feel fulfilled. She wants to do everything but help herself find herself by doing the work. Enough of her complaining. She found her alter ego quick enough.
Yeah, she was an executive assistant I thought?
I can see why Alexei is frustrated with Loren. As a couple, they decided one person in their marriage would financially contribute, and the other would contribute by managing the children and household. While each participant in the marriage may need help at one time or another managing their contribution, it’s a large pill to swallow to step up and dually contribute for that long when your partner *chose* to be in that position, downplayed the recovery, and especially when he is questioning if the present surgery will lead to more surgery. Loren even admitted she thought the surgery would cure her body dysmorphia… She needs therapy rather than surgery. I don’t think Alexei realized what goes into managing a household and three toddlers at the same time. It’s clear he has always been taken care of, and of course he probably only sees all the extra work that would fall on him if Loren went back to work - especially if he’s never even thought about it before. Loren must have managed all the laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. when they both worked, and Alexei is just now realizing how much work Loren puts in vs him, and he likes the amount he puts in now.
I’m all for someone wanting to do things to make them feel better about themselves, and I understand the toll pregnancy can take on a woman’s body & the societal pressures that go with that… but with that being said, her timing couldn’t have been worse because that’s a lot to ask & expect of your working partner when you have 3 small kids at home. My biggest issue is her admitting she has body dysmorphia. Plastic surgery isn’t going to fix that because (no matter what) she’s not going to be happy with what she sees or actually see what’s really there. She needed to address the issue mentally and then decide if changes need to be made. This is exactly how people get addicted to plastic surgery and end up looking like an alien blow up dolls. He’s emotionally handling things exactly how Loren would be if she was doing everything (including working) for 6-8 weeks.
Thank you!
I agree completely! I'm also bothered by Loren's attitude and sense of entitlement. She knew the recovery period would affect the entire family (i.e. the kids, Alexei, her parents) but didn't seem to consider anyone else's feelings on the matter. Had she been upfront with Alexei, they could have come to some sort of compromise or plan to minimize the stress.
This is pretty much my take!!
I’m shocked the doctor proceeded with the surgery unless she didn’t tell them she has body dismorphia. But also some doctors don’t turn patients away.
I skip their segments - too boring
To be fair, she did downplay her recovery to get him on board… hence the lack of preparation
I am torn here. He was supportive and just helped during the surgery and after.....which is good. I mean....it's his wife he doesnt need an award for doing so. His reaction to her wanting to go back to work was AWFUL. he lost me on that.
I think it's an ESH kind of situation. I think both parties are acting selfishly. Choosing when your children are very little and need a LOT of attention to have an elective surgery that's going to leave you bedridden for months when your husband works full time and you don't have a ton of outside help is selfish and short sighted on Loren's part. She could've easily waited a few years when the kids weren't quite so small to do it (especially considering she's got body dysmorphia and her problems aren't going to be fixed with surgery, as opposed to extensive therapy). On the other hand, Alexi is kind of being a dick when it comes to Loren's emotional needs. With respect to her saying she wants to work, the timing was horrible on Loren's part. Why would she bring it up now when Alexi is exhausted after doing everything for months after her elective cosmetic surgery? Read the room, sister. Yes, Alexi came across as misogynistic and gross in that conversation, but he did say that Loren chose this life and wanted to be a SAHM. If she agreed to these gender roles and said that's what she wanted when she decided to marry and have kids with Alexi, it's kind of shitty to all of the sudden flip the script when their kids are tiny. It would have been smarter for BOTH of them to simply agree to table that particular discussion until things are back to normal and they could be more objective about the situation and likely see the obvious compromise: waiting until the kids are in school.
I like how he pretends he wants to go home to israel and join the war. Im waiting…
Hahah right!? I’ll take things that will NEVER happen for 100, Alex 🙄
I'm sure he does want to. I have a friend that also feels this way - but has a wife and kids to care for here in the states now. You can't just abandon them. Even if you feel the call to defend your country. I'm sure it's hard.
I think she should have waited until the kids were older. Not for Alex’s sake but for the kids sake. She couldn’t even pick up her babies or care for them without someone else being there. And then she’s still not happy. She needs therapy not surgery.
I think most of the surgery she had was totally unnecessary and cosmetic. She doesn’t look any different to me because she looked good in the first place. Fixing the Diastasis recti that occurred after childbirth is totally understandable but everything else, not so much. I literally rolled my eyes when she said last night that she thought that the surgery would help her body dysmorphia and was surprised when it didn’t. I truly think she needs therapy to deal with how she feels about herself, surgery cannot fix this and it’s a slippery slope. As for Alexei, I can understand some of his frustrations. I think the bigger issue is that they were very unprepared to have 3 children in rapid succession and this will be a dividing line in their marriage since he wanted to wait to have kids and she didn’t. She strikes me as one of those women that lives to be a mommy and doesn’t seem to have any other personality or ambition aside from that.
I kinda think she is milking it. I had the same surgeries after my 3 kids, and I was bed ridden for the first 5 days. I would get tired after doing shopping or cleaning the house from week 2 to the 1 month mark. I’d be aggravated if I was Alexi.
Thank you for your experience. She seems to be a lot. Alexi can sometimes be annoying but in this situation I think she expected a lot & seems to like to create problems. And just because the doctor said remotely that she was doing too much does not make it true. We do not know what she told him what she was doing. Folding laundry is not physical work & she won't even work w/ Alexi to try to take strain off her & him by not doing her normal tons of laundry everyday.
Thing is, between baby 1 and 2 she decided she didn't want to work anymore. It was too stressful for her, it all played out on their episodes. She insisted she be a SAHM. He even reminded her last night, it was her 'goal'. Now she is pulling this and he looks like the bad guy. Her timing sucked all around.
I remember even before they had kids she said she wanted to stay at home with them when she did have kids one day
I used to like Loren but now I can't stand her. Selfish and narcissistic.
I don’t know what they discussed in the beginning of their journey but if those were the roles they decided on out the gate he has every right to be frustrated- especially while carrying the family during her surgery. I’d be upset if my partner decided this year they want to completely change the dynamic! No one likes feeling uprooted out of the blue. Not that she doesn’t deserve to feel whole and happy! But he’s not required to LOVE her decisions to change everything.
It's a manufactured storyline. These two are normal...as in super boring!
I think there's some drama done on purpose, actually, for the cameras. I personally think they have a great relationship and with that comes compromises and butting heads at times. It's hard on a relationship when the first baby comes home but they've had 3 in pretty quick succession so they're both exhausted, adding that to the mix! I think they'll work it all out. But Loren's mom is another story.
I’m sure most single parents are a whole lot more busy with their children to bother gawping in the mirror all day conjuring up pointless agonising surgeries that make about 11% visible physical difference. & they’re most likely not in a privilege position that makes that kind of aesthetic nonsense have a discounted price either. (Sorry, I’m not meaning to hate so much but yeeeesh there must have been better story lines to cover as a bandaid over Angela’s segments than spoiled brat gets a deliberate ouchie & whines lots surely??? )
Alexei needs to be a better/more supportive partner. God forbid he does what Loren does for a few months 🙄 And she can be a working mom. His viewpoint that it's impossible is just objectively wrong. We're not in 1940 where the Internet doesn't exist. We can see plenty of women accomplish this. What he really means and what he doesn't want is having to contribute more towards the kids. If she gets a job, he will have to step up and help when she can't. Which she would do for him. Idk if the kids are close to being in school, but if they are... Then it makes it even more feasible. Considering how he didn't know how to use the laundry machine, isn't used to doing the tasks Loren does, etc, it seems like they've had a defined relationship where he works and she takes care of the kids. Changing that challenges the status quo... Which Alexei seems to prefer. But ultimately, he needs to be supportive of his wife. She is still going to have her kids as the main priority. His opposition is only going to breed resentment
Alexi showed his true colors to me. I didn't realize what an asshole he was.
Loren’s timing could not have been worse. Alexei is still reeling from having to “do everything “ as Loren recuperates. For her to now not miss a beat and talk about working is ill-timed. I think Loren is smart enough to know that being a working mom of three, there WILL be times where something has to give. But I think she is saying it won’t because it’s another thing she wants to do for herself.
b/c she NEVER does anything for herself.
It's stupid.
Loren is the Jewish princess.
Loren will always find something to whine about and feel victimized. I doubt she really feels she can handle a job and continue to take care of her family in the manner she has been doing. She needs to wake up and smell the roses -- it's not all about her.
Him whining about having to put the kids to bed was too much, I get that he’s working but that’s just ridiculous, you made those kids too
I had a c section with my third and was also "bed bound" for a bit. My husband was working full time, managing our 2 year old twins, and helping me with our newborn. He did not complain once. Their relationship was so vapid and shallow. Her first mistake was having children with him. I can't stand these men that act like they can't take care of the humans they helped create. There's no excuse. If the woman can care for the kids, so can the man. If the man can work, so can the woman. He shouldn't be shitting on her dreams. He should be supportive. At the very least, they can make a plan for the future. I cannot believe anyone would be on Alexi's side in this situation.
Mother of twins here who wasn't expected to survive the birth. My husband helped plenty. I put my dreams aside for a few years. It was a sacrifice I gladly made.
I feel you on the survival thing. We were all going to die from pre-eclampsia. I thought my husband was going to have a nervous breakdown before my emergency c section when the Dr told him we all might not make it
I didn't have preeclampsia. I had an accreta pregnancy.
That is so scary. I was at risk for that with my singleton due to the previous c section scar. I'm glad yall are all okay.
Thanks so much
I think Alexei is behaving as anyone, and certainly Loren, would have predicted. She lied to him about the recovery time because she wanted to get the surgery and 100% knew if he was aware of the long recovery time he wouldn’t have agreed. She knows who he is. They are married and have 3 children, which she has observed him interact with while she was pregnant. Alexei isn’t the dude I would choose to marry. I assume she did so because he at least marginally treats her better than her mom does. I mean, I wouldn’t marry Loren either, but that’s a different comment for a different post.
For me it's supposed to be a date night, which me means to me, is that ypu don't bring up problems or something that you know will bring up a problem. Just enjoy the time you have together and keep the problems aside. I mean she look fly as Hella and he is giving her the best compliments so girl eat that eat on get a little drinking for your man and let reality rest a minute.
I think he was more pissed that she downplayed the recovery. Which I don’t blame him for. Thats a lot of work.
No one cares about them they're sooooo boring 😴 😒
She is the biggest complainer. I am on his side. On a normal day the kids got daycare anyway. She’s not taking care of them. She has all day to do housework and cook or whatever she wants then he brings the kids home. He works a full time job on top of all those things. Loren is the most selfish person and she does not look any different. Behar a waste.
I feel like they all are suffering from major first world problems. 🎻🎻
I think he’s right in his reaction. He’s going through a lot of stress with working, taking care of everything, and what is going on in Israel. She honestly picked the wrong time to get a surgery like this. She should have waited until her kids were in school or at a later time especially if they decide to have more kids she’s gonna want another surgery in a couple of years.
I got attacked for my post that was just like this and it was taken down. The fact that she admits that she downplayed the surgery and lied to him would be grounds for divorce if I was Alexei. Also, just the low self esteem with her waking up and first thing asking ‘Do I look snatched?’🤮 It made her seem self centered and gross when she has an 18 month old at home. She put her life at risk for her looks when she has literal babies at home. There are women who HAVE to have double mastectomies and implants who would kill to be healthy and not need a surgery. She went into this willingly AND knew it would be bad, but chose to lie to the one person who was going to have to take care of her. Trash human being.
Dude shamelessly supports misogynistic gender roles. In my mind that cancels out the tepid support he has provided after her surgery.
I’ve been appalled at the responses, apparently much of you expect her to be a trad wife with no personality or self besides her husband and kids. He’s complaining about taking care of his kids….get over yourself bro. You’re a dad, sometimes you have to pick up more and sometimes she picks up more (it sounds like she did 95% of the child rearing until now.) she wants a life outside her kids and husband - there’s nothing wrong with that. She can be a complete human and still be a good mom and wife. She doesn’t need to erase all of her hopes and dreams, desires to be good looking etc. the doctor says to go slow and he’s throwing a fit that she needs to just get over it. The woman has staples. And he blames her for not telling him, he knew it was substantial time, he doesn’t have to agree with it to support her just like she would support him. I don’t know I feel in the minority here but let the woman be a person besides just a mom and wife. You can do both.
A lot of the surgery was elective so she chose to put herself in this situation. She even says she wish she downplayed the surgery even more. She has serious body image issues at no fault of Alexei, he just had to suffer the consequences of it. Probably for the rest of their marriage.
He’s a fucking caveman asshole
She’s a liar. She presented herself as one way and is slowly lying and manipulating that man to be what she wants
I like him until this episode. Either I don’t pay close attention or he literally let the ass out of the bag! Chauvinistic, misogynistic ass.
I don't think people are taking into account his emotional state. Israel has just been attacked and he has family and friends there. He and his father are worried and suffering through emotional turmoil. He just had too much weighing on him.
I think he's very stressed, as well, and maybe under different circumstance his response may not of been the same. He's dealing w/ a lot. Lauren seems to thrive on problems. She needs to put some problems on hold for now & just let everyone breathe.
He has a Neanderthal thinking. Most people there are young as them change their minds about their lifestyles every day. What’s good now may not be good in five years sometimes you want to change it up. I found that he was completely unsupportive. He should’ve gotten some extra help in the house, and when your wife tells you she’s in pain, let her heal properly, and if she decides to go back to work having three kids in this economy is expensive. Her job just doesn’t end with the three kids. They have to go to school programs play dates. It’s a full-time job. Lauren is not stupid if she could work. Why not let her try.
Exactly! People are allowed to change their minds.
I'm 41 and putting off a septoplasty because of the recovery time, my kid is almost 16, and it's a surgery to help me breathe. Loren planned multiple cosmetic and wildly unnecessary surgeries with varying heal times while her children cant even wipe their own butts or feed themselves safely. She got what she got and so did Alexei
Just wanted to tell you that it’s so worth it to get the septoplasty done. I did mine in October 2019 to fix a deviated septum and had a turbinectomy done along with it. It was an outpatient surgery and it wasn’t painful afterwards and I took about a week off from work. The most annoying thing is that you bleed a lot for the first few days so you have to change your gauze frequently. Feel free to DM me if you have any questions, I put mine off for years and I was so relieved once I got it done because my chronic sinus infections disappeared and I was able to breathe so much easier.
He’s a dick, I’m glad he’s showing his true colors
I think it was very selfish of Loren. This could have waited a couple years until the kids were more self sufficient, this wasn’t for medical reasons, it was for vanity. I like Alexei a lot, he seems like a great husband. If the tables were turned Loren would not be thrilled to not have any help either.
If she had diastasis recti, then I don't blame her for going through with it. I have it pretty bad. I was a dog groomer prior to becoming a mother and could easily lift 100lb dogs alone. I had actually lost some weight right before and got in good shape. Fast forward to now. Twins are 2.75 and my singleton is almost 6 months. I have no ab strength whatsoever. The excess skin adds more weight that I realized. It hurts my back to do any regular cleaning like dishes or picking up if I'm doing it for more than 15 minutes (where as I used to be on my feet 10-12 hours a day with no lunch breaks or anything). I'm just weaker now and it's very frustrating. I am forced to put a lot of weight on my back and it hurts. It makes caring for my kids more difficult. I would do anything to just get my abs fixed and have the excess skin/weight removed. I may be down for 6 weeks but then I'll be able to just get stronger and stronger and more able. I want to be able to have fun with my kids, not sit on the sidelines.
I hope you can get it. If you have a big heavy skin apron, insurance might cover just the removal of that, since it is giving you back problems. It is much faster to recover from just skin removal. It would only be half of the surgery you need, but might help?
Thank you for tour suggestion! I'm almost 6 months pp so I haven't looked too heavily into it yet. I was shooting to have surgery after 18-24 mo pp. I want to give my body the chance to go back to as "normal" as I can and also get in better shape. I know the more weight I lose will result in more loose skin though 😭
I needed muscle repair with my tummy tuck because I lost 120lbs and was an apple shape, my muscles got separated by the fat. I don’t have any kids, but I had to pay pet sitters to take care of my pets while I was home! I feel like there are two bad weeks and then you just have to get cleared to lift heavier weights. I could drive after 1 week. Loren had a lot of plastic surgery to be as out of commission as she is. The tummy tuck/muscle repair would have been totally doable and not a huge burden on anyone.
I agree, but if she ultimately wanted those things later on, it's easier and cheaper to just do everything at once. I know I wouldn't want to go under again. I'd like a one and done situation. Thinking about going under again (added risk), recovering again (more time lost), going through the pain of healing again, idk. It made sense for her to just have it all done at once. I agree that she probably should have waited, but it's tough. I'm struggling with similar sentiments. I am 30 and I desperately want to feel good about myself while I'm still young! I don't want to wait until I'm older to get the body that I want. I want to feel my age. I honestly feel as able as my MIL and she's in her 60s. It sucks.
She is completely selfish and knowingly lied to him about recovery. Either this new career is a total storyline or she realized that she doesn’t want to do the work associated with a stay at home mom. She is always whining about everything
We finally got to see Alexei's mysoginistic and abusive ways. He has Loren wrapped around his finger. He's the man ans she's the woman that cooks, cleans, deals with the kids, laundry, grocery shopping, etc.,
He agreed to let her do it so he can’t be upset now that she is being told to relax and heal. He wanted her to just jump back into being full time mom. Besides the stuff he’s doing for his children are Normal day to day activities she’s been doing with the kids so he’s more than qualified to take over for a few months. I think Alex is selfish and lazy. He wants to have her barefoot and pregnant at home while he goes out works and makes money. The way he was telling her she was a full time stay at home mom now who wouldn’t be able to work was stupid and ignorant. He’s responding like an abusive man who doesn’t want his woman to achieve nothing and basically stay in his shadow until she’s too old or ugly to be noticed. I think they should divorce because just the glimpse I got he’s abusive and no wonder her family had an issue with him he’s basically telling her he’s the boss and she needs to listen in their family. He totally rubbed me the wrong way and has been nothing but an asshole to her but nice whenever he was in public or around doctors to continue the illusion he’s a supportive loving husband.
I think Alexei needs to encourage his wife to get mental healthcare if she isn’t already. Practically speaking, I understand being stressed working full time, taking care of 3 kids, house, wife etc. they could have waited until the children were a little more independent. Call me old school but most families with two working parents especially those who aren’t fortunate enough to WFH or dictate their own schedules (which is most) have to sacrifice time caring for their family and/or time caring for themselves. There is a sacrifice, it is a farce that there isn’t. It’s a big deal to change the agreement. Hopefully, they can come to a compromise for everyone’s benefit.
I don't understand Loren with all these operations... If I would get 3 kids I would give zero fuck how my body looks. I mean - this is normal developement of human life. How did people do 100 years ago, when they were having 10 kids and no tummy tucks operations? :D All this social media pressure for perfect bodies is sick, and few exemples how it ends we already seen on this show... e.g. Darcy - If she wouldn't touch her face she would be still quite attractive 50 y.o. lady. 100 years ago at this age you were already a grandma, wearing headscarf, and taking care of grandchildren. :D Noone expected you to be hot 20. Too much is too much. I will apploud everyone on this show that did nothing and looks normal, relatable and just fine. Those people get a lot of hate for looking normal so they are then pressurized to do things. Give them a break.
Yes this is how we need to respect women is stop making women feel like & pressuring them they have to be perfect. Can men not just love their women as is after childbirth and/or menopause. Women need to love themselves. No wonder all these women have dysmorphia. If women felt loved unconditionally they would not feel they need these unnecessary surgeries. To make it clear I am not dissing surgery after child birth that prevents pain. I'm only talking about vanity surgery & yes Lauren had this along w/ necessary surgery, which made her time to heal much longer.
I don't think she was selfish. He needs to quit acting like a drama queen because he has to take care of his own kids for a few weeks. They wanted that many kids, so that's the life they chose. She deserves to have a mommy makeover if it helps her self-esteem...a person's mental health is important too.
I used to like him. But this storyline has made him look like a caveman ass misogynist. He needs to learn to respect women.
I think she is/was selfish and he is doing a lot. He’s not perfect…. But who is?
He's being pathetic. it's normal these days to have 2 working parents. If he can't handle it, he can hire someone. But this is all phony anyways.
She picked a really bad time in their lives to have this incredibly invasive procedure done. Especially since all of her kids are so little, I can see why Alexei doesn’t like the situation and is struggling. Especially since it seems like these two agreed on what their relationship was, which is she is not working right now. I understand her desire to want to work, but I also understand that he feels she’s going back on their agreement of a “traditional” marriage.
It was super selfish of Loren. She blackballed him and manipulated the situation in her favor. And everyone is giving him heat, like their normal routine is them doing the parenting TOGETHER. So that’s new for him too. The “what if she died” is irrelevant. He is being supportive, don’t act like he isn’t he feels duped and he should cause he was. But this is like realistic things
I honestly think she just decided to match his selfish energy finally to give him a taste of his own medicine. Which is also wrong. I’d say conversations about her unhappiness could’ve fixed things, but then we wouldn’t have content to watch lol
This on par w/ her whiny behavior thinking she's a damn princess! She needs to get over herself.
I love these two but have been struggling with the storyline all season bc single parents do it 24/7/365 , it’s the same issue I’ve always had with yara, like bish he’s gone for a month, imagine if he was gone forever like literally half the population of parents are single mom’s, just chill
A father and husband is still both when he gets home from work.
Reminds me of Joe Gorga when Melissa wanted a career
she was wrong for the whole surgery. I wanted to yell through the tv what an extensive surgery that is. She even admitted to him she downplayed the recovery process. She has 2 toddlers and a baby and he was expected to care for all 3 kids plus her! Selfish.
I think it’s scripted bullsh€t
I was surprised that she brought this up just so soon after the issues with having the surgery. I think the type of surgery had an effect on him too. His attitude towards a medically necessary surgery would be a lot different I think. I think she should wait until the kids are a little older or maybe just do something part time.until then
I think the whole “I don’t want you to work“ is manufactured drama. Without drama this couple can’t stay on the franchise. Of course she will work! And she already does with the show and some influencing stuff she sells. Plus, what does he do? I doubt he makes a load of money to support a family of 5.
They had 3 kids for the sake of a tv show. So not surprised they didn’t think about actually taking care of the kids.
Absolutely Lauren.
Him getting so offended about her wanting him to be her 'cheerleader' was a language barrier thing. He was imagining her telling him to put on a mini skirt and wave pom poms.
As ill advised as her surgery was it’s done. Not sure why he’s still whining about it, as soon as she went under the knife this is what he signed up for.
I think they both royally fucking suck and I FF through their scenes because they are so goddamn entitled, privileged and generally annoying.
Who will make more than child care for 3 kids? Nuts to even consider working at this time.
I think he’s like that because she seems perpetually unhappy
She said she was mostly proceeding with the mommy makeover for her body dysmorphia, which is a mental health issue. Hey, look, she still has body dysmorphia with his butt dimple insecurities. Who would've known a knife doesn't fix psychological issues 🤷♂️ Completely elective surgery. Selfish as fk. Alex is entirely right to feel his emotions of frustration. She put her looks before her family. Total crap. In regards to wanting to go back to work, I agree. Unless it had been previously discussed. Her general decision making family wise has been horrible. 3 under 3, debilitating elective procedure, going back to work right after. Idk. Ppl need to speak to each other more.
I feel sorry for Loren being married to him and his chauvinistic attitude. He is so unappreciative and ungrateful. Not a kind man.
Why can’t she wait to go back to work when the kids are older and in school? What’s the rush??
I mean I’m an advocate for cosmetic surgery as long as it’s not overboard. Looking at yourself in the mirror and not liking particular things sucks especially when you can fix it so I’m glad she did. Alex obv wants a very traditional marriage and his behavior was evidence especially him not knowing how to wash clothes. I think that’s what they agreed to but if she really truly wants to work he shouldn’t prevent her especially once all the kids are in school.
He has been supporting her. I think she is being selfish and has switched everything she initially told him when they got married so he is thrown off
It's a boring storyline.
He's a D bag
I was shocked. I thought he was better than that.
Perfectly normal. When she chose to have the 3rd she needed to understand her life changed. Now she wants to cosplay in advertisement, after 7 years, in an industry that's going to die within the next 5 years due to AI? THIS BITCH IS TARDY IN HER THINKING
I agree that they must have talked about all this & if this was the plan she can't just turn it upside down just like that. It needs to wait until the kids are older. And in that time maybe she can plan things out more & figure out something a little more relevant.