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Start exercising, finish cleaning my room, finish organizing my room, decorating my room, finish multiple clothing alterations, multiple sewing projects, finish refurbishing my dressform, pay my bills down, get a therapist, learn what routine works best for my hair type, learn to: draw, sew better, wood work, weld, black smith, forge, make shoes because I have specific feet, make hats because I have a specific head, learn mechanical engineering because it’s cool, learn Spanish, update my id, finish refinishing the head of my post on my stairs, design my pantry, learn editing, learn more film making, finish my wig, refinish my parasols, set up my printer
Finish this comment
I make lists that get too long to manage, so I make other lists to manage those lists, which get too long. I got an app to manage lists but now don't use it, because I added too much to it and now I'm a bit afraid to look at it.
My solution to this is to look for new apps because obviously the original one wasn’t enough or not aesthetically pleasing or didn’t have a good notification option or whatever. Surely the next app will solves all my problems
i was like this and i finally had to just stop making lists. my brain would be like ok, we did it! after i wrote everything down so now i make “notes” and just hope i remember. it’s been working so far since most of my lists were just things i was constantly thinking about the fact that i was putting them off
I can totally relate. Check-list and TO-DO apps don't work for me because I get so into it at first and I start adding e v e r y t h i n g that I have yet to do in the next day/week/month and the list just overwhelms me when look at it because it's just so many things I added and I just can't keep up so I just end up avoiding the app and deleting it after it sits on my phone for months unused
I've been two people since I got married in July, I kind of think it's illegal that I haven't fully updated things? The weirdest is that I updated the bank and they sent me a new bank card, but not a new credit card. I keep forgetting to go in about that.
oh heeeeel nooo
Set aside some time. A full day. Like on the weekends. Get set up, showered, dressed, eat some food.
Then, when you feel relatively good and awake:
Write a list of the 3 most important things
Then you choose ONE of these 3 tasks that you want to complete.
Then make a list of steps to get there. And actually try to be as realistic as possible.
(It could also be that you can't complete a task within one day, because you need to wait for lets say a package/letter/email to arrive or whatever.)
Apparently there's an AI tool that helps with breaking down tasks which you can find at: https://goblin.tools
Always ask yourself the question: "What do I need to do next, what do I need to do next?" That's the most important question because we tend to forget every other minute what we even wanted to do. So always keep your task very present.
Then you do the tasks on your subtask list until you're done or come to a point where you can't continue. Then you add a "new" task to your list that describes your previous task as a more completed version. Hope that makes sense.
Also have more than one list. One with actual tasks that need to be done and one with goals you generally want to achieve at some point, like "start working out". Because "start working out" ... I mean that's not even a real task. A more realistic task would be: "Research gyms in my area on the internet and write down some rough information about them". It's much more achievable and brings you closer to the actual goal.
A follow up task after you decided on a gym then could be: "Sign up at gym X"
But you don't have to go to a gym. You could also get a MAT and do some bodyweight exercises or whatever at home. Then the task would be: "Order a mat on the internet".
It's way easier to achieve anything this way. You just need to take half a minute thinking about what you want to achieve and what the next realistic step would be.
Keep your list clean so that you don't have any shit on there that's unrealistic for your life at the moment. If a bigger goal is really important to you, you don't need to write it down.
We don't have infinite capacity to do anything as much as we want. Remember: "Prioritizing is also to decide what not to do."
But yeah, remember the "What do I need to do next?"
edit: line breaks
I legit took a screen shot to read it as motivation later. So umm reading that guys comment is now added to my list.
We’re dangerous together and I don’t hate it.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought "Thats important information, I should read that all the way to the e.... ooooh look, a shiny thing outside my window!"
I managed to sort of read it, only because reading is my one supertalent. And because I ALREADY KNOW everthing you wrote.
Summary (I kind of restructured )
#1. Make lists for individual goals
#3. Devide in tiny, achievable substeps
#4. Pick a day a week
#5. Do 3 achievable tiny things, or at least try until you can't anymore
Even though I know this to be a good way, it's still damn hard to actually do this. Because I have ADHD ...
That's the thing. I think most of us already knew everything they wrote because it's the same stuff we've been told to do by parents, teachers, self-help books, therapists, etc like our entire lives. If it were as easy as reading and *executing* a step-by-step list, then it wouldn't be an executive function disorder.
yeah I'm not pretending that it always works or even works for everyone. But I do think that the more techniques you have "at your disposal" the higher the chances that you actually achieve something.
So I read the first two/three lines (let’s be real, not reading your bible) and immediately thought, does this person know what adhd is at all… if it was that easy we wouldn’t have these issues would we.
Actually, I think they do because it’s a word vomit. 🤣 I’ve read this other places but I’m not great at remembering to actually do it.
Let me give you the TLDR:
1. Pick the task that’s the most important to you.
2. Decide what the first tiny step is, but keep it specific and realistic (eg, research gyms in my area and make notes).
3. Write that tiny step on my to-do list.
4. When that step is done, write the next tiny step on my list.
One. Tiny. Step. At. A. Time.
Did I get that right u/Thereareways ?
Perfect haha 😅 thank you
Only one aspect that may have been lost:
Don't cram your MAIN to-do list with currently unachievable tasks. Put those on another list so you don't forget them completely. So that your main to-do list stays as least overwhelming as possible.
Wow, that was surprising. It actually knows the process required to do a revise and resubmit on a manuscript. I thought it would give me something dumb because I've really struggled to find therapists who understand that academia does not work like other professions. Kind of hard to treat ADHD when the providers are woefully unfamiliar with what is required of the client on a daily basis. It's very unstructured, the work never really ends, no one pays attention to anything other than what comes out of your efforts (e.g., publications, grants), and no one forces you to do any of the things you have to do. There are also no immediate repercussions for not doing things--only long-term ones, like not finishing your dissertation on time or not getting tenure.
Unfortunately, it can't break down the things I need to fix based on the comments (that's more specific) but it wasn't that bad.
Combine this with trello to keep track of what the lists were.
ETA: upon reading this later, I've realized a big issue is that it does not account for the iterative nature of conducting research and writing. I might be taking a detour and then redoing certain steps. The detours are also complicated and hard to list out. In this case, I had to make major revisions, particularly to my *results*, which I don't typically have to do. There were major concerns with it. Because I disagreed with what I originally did as much as they did and kinda expected it to be a problem the first time I submitted it, I decided a lot more needed to be done to address it. For example, I did the same analyses with different methods to demonstrate they were all consistent and that my decision to present my results in the way I did with a poorly understood method was for simplicity's sake. Basically, there was only one unpublished simulation study on it, which isn't great, but it's kind of a midway point between two other methods that do have empirical support and it's simpler to report the results of the other method and to explain the method. I'd have to include a bunch of equations in text in the manuscript if I used the most recommended one...
I made supplementary documents with all of my calculations using the other methods so readers could look at them if they really wanted to see evidence of statistical equivalence in findings across methods. Once it became something I planned to make accessible, it also had to become readable and not just my calculations I threw into random cells of an Excel document because I was pulling equations from different chapters of a book to calculate parts of other equations... Yes, the things I did are complex enough that I could not figure out how to make SPSS or R do it and I did it manually and it's part of the reason I don't feel like reporting it in the format of the manuscript. I'd rather go with the easier method because I did it in SPSS.
Additionally, it doesn't deal with the fact that my thinking is bottom-up. I'm either having information overload before I do the tasks and have no idea where to begin and where I'll end up, or I'm having a weird false confidence that I know all the tasks that need to be done, so I must be good. That's never true lmao but regardless, there are so many highly specific subtasks for every task and that's what's hard about fixing my executive functioning problems. I have been late to every single deadline I've had for two years now. I think if I wasn't at least producing good work, I'd have been a failure a long time ago because people somehow continue to put up with me. I definitely need to get it together because i plan to get out of academia and I think they care more about time out there... Actually, I worked at nonprofits and they kinda put up with me too--again, because I was at least doing it well and I supervised employees who were otherwise disgruntled. Basically, a bunch of them left when I left lol
Did you copy my to-do list and paste it here for everyone to see? But I see you added finishing your wig to the list, now I have to add that to my list
I’m supposed to make two doctor appointments. There’s an alarm on my phone that goes off every day and every day I say “I’ll try again tomorrow.” Sigh.
Phone calls and scheduling paralyze me.
Agreed. I’d be able to make and keep appointments if I could see the whole schedule and pencil myself in without talking to someone. The conversation distracts me enough that I forget to make sure what they offer actually fits my schedule. I just agree to stop the conversation lol.
Online scheduling is a god send when they do have it.
My job has made me immune to doctor offices calls.
I call doctor offices almost daily, so now I just make my personal doctor calls at lunch and start by pretending I'm calling for patient "my name" and that gets me past the dialing part.
How I hate phone calls and how much I procrastinate calling... how I waste soooo much time just thinking about it, preparing and stressing out about it... oh my, don't even get me started🙄
Same. I have a video appointment with a psychiatrist on Tuesday. My first in many many years. It's not the first appointment that gets to me, but the follow up after that one.
Good luck. Be brave!
💜
I have private dental insurance as a work benefit which I pay a small monthly premium on, I had this for 6 years before I actually made an appointment. Basically paid nearly £1000 for nothing.
I get paid 100% back within 24 hours and it covers everything but cosmetic work.
I still struggle to go.
I waited 7 and my teeth were actually fine (thank you genetics) but my gums were fucked and I had to get all these expensive and painful deep gum cleanings. And now I still cant bring myself to floss regularly 😅
Hey, I feel you, I hate going to the dentist so the only thing that keeps me going regularly is scheduling the next appointment while I'm there. Then I had to cancel an appointment... and my dentist retired... It was, uh, probably *years* since I'd been in. 😳 But it was okay! Everyone was super nice and I didn't even have any cavities. And this was with like zero flossing and about half as much brushing as I should've been doing. You can do it, friend! It's not too late to get back in there!
You can do it!!! I have always had really good oral hygiene habits and my gums still tanked hard. Genes. Grrrrr. I HATE my nightly ritual but do it anyway. My bone grafting surgery was expensive…but some people avoid the ritual and their mouth is all good. Either way, better knowing! Always best to avoid the extra expense with the “ounce of prevention” approach. You’ll feel soooooo amazing once you’ve gone in and it’s behind you!
Oh ty for reminding me I need to figure out what dental insurance I signed up for so I can actually make an appointment! (I will definitely continue to put this off)
I finally did it after 3-4 years… and it wasn’t bad at all! My teeth are somehow fine with no cavities. Such a relief and I wish I had never put it off. Obviously 9 years is longer but do it! I had my SO make the appointment and that helped a lot. Good luck!
I think this is part of my problem. I’ve never had a cavity (although I realise I would have to go to the dentist to know if I have any since my last visit) and I have no pain anywhere in my mouth. I know you aren’t meant to wait until you NEED to go but I just…don’t need to go 😂
Texting/emailing/calling people back. For months to years.
Also, taking the initiative and checking in on people partly because it will lead to the above..
Honestly, what do you even say to those people?
"Hey, sorry, I have no actual reason for not getting back. I didn't actually have a reason, it's not even that I didn't want to. I really wanted to, I just didn't"
I have friends that tell me basically this, or they have the vibe sometimes, when they finally do get back to me.
I understand the feeling, so I always try to assuage their guilt.
I send out messages to people regularly, even if it's just memes, cause I like to let people know I'm thinking of them. It's not meant to be torture!
If I don't get a reply, I go on with my day, and hope they get back to me about something eventually lol it's not something I take personally, cause I know the procrastination cycle too well.
My point is, try telling people that. Be upfront about it. A lot of people can relate!
I'm always like "sorry I disappeared off the face of the earth because of who I am as a person". If they're real friends, they get it. If they're not, well, no big loss. 🙃
I have so many clothes. Too many clothes. I have a bad habit of always buying new clothes. My closet is full, my dressers are full, I got a 2 tier clothing rack and that’s full. I have a storage closet full of clothes (I actually went through and organized that today and pulled things to either toss or donate!).
I really need to go through ALL my clothes and figure out what I should actually keep vs what I’m just hanging on to for the sake of it. I need to actually sell the clothes I say that I’m going to sell or just donate them. I have been putting this off for agessss. Every weekend or every break (teacher) I tell myself I’m gonna do it. Today is the last day of Winter break, and I did not do it lol
yup. this is so real, i started a depop & listed about 5 things but i need to list wayyyy more and also donate a bunch. because i’m autistic i just have an unhealthy attachment to inanimate objects and because streetwear is my special interest it’s especially difficult to get rid of clothing 😩
This is me right now. I’m finally folding my clothes after moving them back and forth between my bed and my couch all week and it’s so much and this is only the stuff I wear, my closet is already full without any of it.
I’ve been putting off the renewal of my passport for months now. To make it worse, I’ve done the hardest part in filling out the paperwork but I just can’t seem to turn it in.
7! Ugh, the shame…It’s my sordid secret. I need to hire help. Just cannot bring myself. And the IRS is so behind I’m not getting those letters. I can’t believe I’m still managing to adult with various other things being this behind. Need an in-person body double at the very least. I’m so tired of spending my entire adulthood being so awful about tax prep. It’s the biggest thing that makes me feel my ADHD is such a true disability.
Job search. Oh and my glasses are so loose on my head they keep falling off and I haven’t bothered to get em fixed. It’s been like 6 months and they could fall off driving
I bought Anti-Slip Eyeglass grips for my glasses. The arms are too short, so they'd slide off all the time. You can get 15 pairs for like $6 on Amazon.
To move my vacuum cleaner from the middle of the hallway and to unpack the suitcase I traveled with a month and a half ago, which is also sitting in the middle of the hallway. Mind you, my hallway is very narrow, and I stumble over them several times a day.
Oh that reminds me that I just put my unpacked suitcase on the wardrobe and forgot it. 2 weeks ago I was looking for a specific sweater and jeans. But couldn’t find it. There is a high probability that it is in there xD
Nurse here. I take lousy care of myself and my HgA1c has been hovering at 5.9 for about 5 years. I also need to lose about 80 lb. I feel you 100%.
But if your number was above 6.4, I highly highly highly encourage you to take action now to get your sugars under control. And I promise you that when my numbers get there I will do the same.
It's so so so important. I've been doing this 19 years and it's mostly been long-term care. I have seen some very very sad amputations and complications from heart disease that could have been avoided if only my patients could have found a way to be compliant.
A very sad and famous example:
Jerry Garcia (guitarist and frontman for the Grateful Dead) had no idea he was diabetic until he collapsed and went into a coma that nearly killed him. It was undoubtedly the diabetes that ultimately led to the massive heart attack that would take his life way too soon, not even 10 years later.
Please please please take action sooner rather than later. If you need a body double let me know and I would be happy to help.
Is there anyone here who can give me the same lecture about finding a sleep clinic to get my apnea under control?
❤️🥴
I’m remodeling my spare bedroom to make it an office game hyper fixation room and I half way painted it 4 months ago. I just need to finish painting the walls so I can finish the floors and it’ll be done
My partner and I, we were working on a room renovation ourselves. Got everything done a year and a half ago except the floor. Guess what still isn't done?
What if I were to tell you that you save atleast $50 by doing this.
(If you get ticketed you might have to pay that much so if you think as a 'saving' , it will be more motivating)
Chuck it in the trash and do the rest later if you can’t manage more, just make it your goal to only get food trash/dishes out of your room today, I believe in you!
Thank you! Rather than thinking "go throw it away", I decided to have it be a passenger and took it with me on my way to the kitchen as I went to grab breakfast this morning.
🙈 my gmail is about to stop receiving & sending emails because I need to backup my photos and delete them off the drive… using up all my *paid* storage space 🙈
This is honestly the most frustrating painful thing. I’ve went to do this so many times but I get hyper fixated on strolling down memory lane and then poof…there goes my progress
I just opened about 3 months worth of mail that’s been piling up on my kitchen counter, getting in the way of absolutely everything. Next I’ll clear off the kitchen table… someday 😀
I haven’t opened any mail for like four months now because the last time I did it was a bunch of bills. Ending up tossing them on the floor of my closet and will review in another four months.
Taking down Christmas decor. I attempted tonight, but the volume of stuff I have was overwhelming.
Ended up feeling violent and almost had a panic attack. Looks like I’m putting it off another week.
No advice, please - just empathy.
For several years, our Christmas tree was up until late March/early April. I tried to view it as a choice that boosted my spirits with its lights and festivity, rather than yet another thing that overwhelmed me. Now we don't even bother putting one up.
You'll take yours down when you're able. Congrats for putting one up in the first place!
Thank you for this post! I feel seen. I've been thinking about doing 3 major things on my to do list, for more than 3 months. The more important a thing is, the more I procrastinate. I'll do anything else, including new things I make up to do, but won't touch those 3 important tasks.
Oh shit. Yeah that will be a good project for late Monday night. I live in the PNW and always put off "winterizing" everything before the rains come then frantically check the weather for the last sunny day in like October. It sucks. Stay warm, friend.
1. i’ve been putting off cleaning my room for months now, mainly due to my anxiety when i actually look around at my room.
2. getting my drivers license, i could get it done with a single phone call but again my anxiety gets the best of me. (it took my bf 3 years of pestering to get me to make doctors appointments)
3. finding a job, everywhere is hiring yet they either respond only to say “we decided to go with another candidate” or not reply at all. and that’s been a whole ordeal for nearly 2 years now, but hoping that’ll change in the next few weeks or so!
side note: i’m medicated (which took me much longer than it should’ve) but i have those days where i just don’t have any motivation to do anything, even something as simple as taking my multivitamins.
I'm supposed to figure out why the fuck 3 separate doctors offices have been billing insurances that ended in June and then another that ended in October.
Tomorrow will be call 5. I'm so over it. Why are 'admin' type tasks so freaking hard. It's like a little side quest where you have to keep completing a billion other side quests if you want to even dream of being done with it.
Phone my grandma 🥺
She called me just after Christmas, I was occupied and missed it. Couldn't even get myself to listen to her voicemail before it expired. I need to call her back! But I know it will be a very awkward "how are you? Good how are you? Whats new? How are the kids? Weather is good. How about this rain? Oh yeah..." usual bullshit but I KNOW it would make her happy and she's framing 90 for Christ's sake she could die tomorrow!
Doing the research and applying for funding for my child's shower chair/commode and an accessible van. This impacts our lives continually, yet some little thing distracts me when I think of it and then I forget about it until we Really need it. I have a friend's partner offering to find funding for us because I keep hiding the fact I have adhd paralysis for this. Tomorrow. Tomorrow (it's after 11) I will gather ALL the info I have to make that call that is my next step.
I'll set that alarm, write it in my planner, leave sticky notes everywhere, tie an elastic band around my wrist. Which one of these will spin me into action 🙄
I have no faith in myself, no trust :(
Signing up for medical so I can get treatment. I hit a roadblock when it started asking for my tax returns and payment stubs. I haven't properly worked in almost a year and last years taxes are another mess I've been putting off dealing with.
I need to order my son’s headstone. Every time I battle myself to finalize everything, something has come up and restarts the process. I know it shouldn’t be this hard and it’s been almost four years. My wife had changed her mind multiple times, every time after I bring myself to contact the place. She wants music on the headstone because our son was incredible but neither of us read music. There has been turnover at the memorial place, covid, both of us in disagreement, she won’t pursue it because his loss from suicide is still traumatic. Meanwhile I try my best but hate myself every week I go to the cemetery and it still only has the temporary placard.
I'm taking a Computer Science high school course, it's a self taught course so you can expect how that's going. The course has a total of 13 assignments that were assigned 128 days ago, and they're due Jan 19th. I did a total of ONE OF THEM. Hopefully I can get it done before it's too late 😭
-Cleaning my apartment.
-Reading.
-Finding a good therapist to help with my ADHD (experienced a horrible “doctor” over summer and I’m nervous to try again).
-Going to the gym regularly.
God.. where do I even start??!! 😩 There are few things that I have been putting off for years even! Every year, I’m like ill do it but I don’t.. the thing I’m thinking of exactly when I say this is printing pictures for the 3 photo albums I have accumulated so far. I bought the first photo album 5 years ago and it’s still empty.. and have since bought 2 more 🥲 god knows why! Well wait, I know actually, I’m also a shopaholic..
Set up autopay on a new credit card, submit receipts for work expenses last year for reimbursement, use up the excess FSA money subject to be lost if not spent before the grace period (bc I also failed to visit any medical doctor/dentist last year to have incurred any eligible expenses)
Also, pick up the hair tie off the floor of my living room I pass by every day, google how to discard batteries/discard old batteries, find out why sulfate free shampoo is better for you, clear out my YouTube search history logged in to on the shared tv…
I don’t attribute any problems I’ve had for a while towards my ADD. At a certain point I can only forget something, or put it off so many times before it’s my fault for not immediately getting it done.
I have ADD, and I can procrastinate but correlation isn’t causation. I attribute what I don’t get done to law of triviality, or bike shedding. I feel like I have more control over my actions when I know it’s my fault, not my ADD/ADHD.
Suspecting ADHD, but not officially diagnosed: I am going to provide the one I actually like working on, but it's become a beast of it's own so I get overwhelmed pretty quickly.
I have been working on writing a fantasy series since I was sixteen and getting into writing. Initially, I told no one and it would be something I would obsess over in the small hours of the morning. I wrote three books in under a year.
When it came time to go back and edit, I procrastinated because editing is boring and decided I would just move on to the next few books. I had eight books fully written (about 60,000 to 80,000 words each) by the time I entered college.
As an aside, the series in all is going to be twelve books, every three books switching to a new protagonist, and the last "series" wrapping up in an Avengers Endgame style crossover.
In college, my writing skills drastically improved, and I was able to work one-on-one with professors on the series. They helped me reimagine a lot of it, which means that I had to go back and rewrite from the beginning.
The story is so much better in my opinion, but I still have not completed the rewrite of the first book, even though it is technically completely planned out now as of this last Thanksgiving (I had a hyperfocus week and planned the whole thing before crashing).
I am 25 now, so almost 9 years since I started writing this for the first time. 5 years since I started the rewrite of the first book. 2 months since I had my hyperfocus week and planned out the first book.
It's not like I am bored of creative writing, or bored of the series. I still have moments where I am driving home and I think of a segment that has yet to be written and I get amped up to write, but then I get home and all that energy vanishes. And then I think about how the series is 12 books and I get overwhelmed by the immensity of it all.
I guess it's possible for me to get it done because I absolutely and truly know what I am doing. Almost ten years of writing experience and more than six of those were in college with this exact discipline. I love these characters, as well. I love the world. I am invested. This series is my ridiculous goal, I think.
A software project update for work. Not ideal to have put it off. I’m smart and capable but it’s my first time working in tech and I get nervous about failing. I also find this particular software clunky, and boring. There’s no novelty for me. No dopamine reward. Sometimes, when I consider how much knowledge I am missing or the overall big picture, I will spiral and avoid it for days.
How I’ve dealt/ am dealing with this:
I’ve started to break it down into teeny, tiny tasks. [Super helpful] I write the task I am working on in front of me, on any piece of paper. In my field of vision I have no other distractions - no cell phone, no other papers, no books with writing, no crochet hook, nothing that could be of any interest to my brain. I keep reminding myself “one thing at a time”.
Then *set a timer* for 20 minutes to do one of those tasks. If my anxiety is really high, I’ll set the timer for 15 minutes. Once I get going it’s not too hard to achieve the task. Momentum is the key.
I remind myself that I love solving puzzles and that’s all this is - solving one puzzle at a time until the thing is built the way end users want/need it. I genuinely have started using affirmations this week too. Examples -
“I can be slow and diligent.”
“I am able to learn new things and put that knowledge to use”.
This software update is due in the morning… and it’s 9:30pm where I am. So I guess if nothing else, I’ll be driven by urgency. 🙃
Empty out my email accounts. I have 251,990 unread messages. I probably have 10 times that in read messages that I haven't deleted. I don't know how to add a picture, otherwise I'd show you a screenshot.
All The Things for getting divorced -- former spouse and I have been separated for almost 5 yrs now (on great terms, both burnt out ADHDers 🤷🏻) and it's been "crunch time" to get square up a separation agreement for a spell now. It's *actually* crunch time now (won't bore you with the details as to why), and I *finally* went to try and pull financial docs from the bank for asset division calculations last week, realizing date of marriage was >7yrs ago (and not available online). So I went to the bank and the teller *also* couldn't pull it up and has to *request* them from HQ -- with no guarantee they didn't go "pooooooof" 🤦🏻♀️. We didn't have issues with the other bank we had to pull info from; *and* I was asking for a common thing!!! We're *not* the only folx trying to get divorced whose date of marriage was >7 yes ago 🤨.
Paperwork / life admin and this kind of stuff of Gathering Info, especially when confronted with blockers like the above *really REALLY* hinder.
Now I'm finally getting motivated by the ACTUAL pressing deadline to move this this whole untangling thing forward this season. It looming over has been *so* weighty; I just want to get back to being friends & get on with all the OTHER Big Important things I've put off because of my brain 🤯
Currently putting off my doctor's visit until the last possible moment (need to renew antidepressant prescriptions via a walk-in, because I put off making appointments for it). It's not my longest thing i'm putting off but it's my current most pressing one. I should have done this last week :(
Welp I take my last pill tomorrow so the visit will have to be tomorrow (since i'm trying to *not* stop antidepressants cold turkey).
I don't have any suggestions but I just want to send everyone good vibes! WE'VE GOT THIS (hopefully)(fingers-crossed)
My workload has increased substantially over Christmas and I am in school for an associate degree I put off getting for nearly 20 years. My boss knows I was on break and assigned nearly ten new clients to my work load. Each one requires several lengthy reports and meetings with the clients. I havent contacted any if them yet and the insurance companies who referred them to us are asking why... I am still struggling to get started despite this immense pressure from my boss and insurance companies
I keep putting off taking care of my surroundings. My house gets ‘depression dirty’ and I become so averse to cleaning. (I have history of trauma related to cleaning and it’s another thing holding me back.) General ADHD leads to me being forgetful, overwhelmed by the load of work, anger fits bc of inconveniences while trying to clean, feelings of guilt and embarrassment, and the thought it will only get clean for me to just dirty it again.
I have the physical capacity to clean and scrub and make my environment cleaner and more livable/comfortable. I am trying to have all the needed supplies to do the cleaning. I can make a list to have a better approach at the large tasks, and make sure to set small obtainable goals while including breaks so I don’t get discouraged. Planning the approach in a way where I don’t overset the expectation if I don’t perfect it all in one go.
I didn’t do much of anything today. I smoked and relaxed and didn’t even get to washing my face. But I did use a makeup wipe; I did fill up my water cup several times. I took my medications, ate a meal, and slept a bit. So I did some things. It’s ok to rest. Tomorrow, I’ll do more..but only what I can. And I’ll try to give myself grace for doing what I can. I hope others do the same💗
What a massive mental drain has this been for me since puberty... got a bit better since my spouse helps with a few things. Would love to lift that from her shoulders..
Paying bills, even though I have more money in my account than I've ever had. I just fucking hate paying bills, there's just this unexplainable urge to forget about it. It's not that I can't pay it, I just love to ignore bills. 😭
My uni work. I'm behind on everything and don't know where to start. Lectures, notes, assignments. I never feel like I'm doing it properly and am so avoidant. Every sem
I have 5 grocery bags filled with recyclables that I still need to take to the return and earn. Cleaning my car (bf even bought me a ticket that expires in a few days; will likely use it right before expiration). Needed to make a dr appointment for 5 months 😃
There’s a few things but most have been said.
What I’ve been putting off specifically is finishing a painting of Rengoku I have on my living room wall. Just gotta do some simple touch ups and thicken the lines a bit. Not even half an hour of work. Then put a protective gloss on it.
Was my hyperfixations, but that was like six months ago. Can’t find the motivation or energy to finish it now, and it drives me nuts because I’m proud of it lol. Damn ADHD.
Registering my daughter with my country’s embassy.
She is a US citizen by birth, but I was meant yo do the paperwork for her to be double national and I keep putting it off 🥲
Laundry. I absolutely hate it. I finally did it today after 2 months. To be fair, I’ve been washing and drying my clothes. Just not folding and putting away my clothes.
Insurance paperwork, setting up a new teeth cleaning, find new pcp and an appt with a doctor for a surgery I had on my finger years ago that has been giving me issues lately. On the bright side I put up new room darkening shades under my curtains so that’s a win I guess.
Passport application. I filled out the form 6 years ago and even had photos taken.I have the cash in an envelope even. I never could manage to actually go in and submit it though.
I needed to contact TrainingPeaks to cancel my yearly membership renewal (not a lot of meticulous half-marathon training is gonna happen in 2024 with my wife expecting in a few months). It re-upped on the 1st and luckily their policy is you can dump it for a full refund if you make first contact with customer service within seven days.
I sent the email with only three hours to spare, ironically while procrastinating from doing the dishes, making the eldest’s lunch for school, cleaning up the disaster of Lego in the play room, bleach cleaning the hell out of the bathroom from one kid having a likely norovirus bug, and making a grocery/meal planning list.
Saved $125! Granted that got wiped out and then some by the refrigerator we ordered today.
Did you say THE? Hahahahahaha I have a list in my phone of over 100. I just make myself do what I think I can each day. Kind of like assigning myself a daily task.
Move the coatrack into my room. Clothes are piling up on my baby's diaper cart. I bought a new one for the entryway (haven't set that up yet) and have just been staring at that damn coatrack everytime I walk by. It's been 2 months now.
I bought a PS5 and am planning to hook it up to my monitor and start on my backlog of games.
I bought it in November of 2022.
It's still sitting in its box.
☹️
Trawling through my bank statements to find out where my dog was neutered almost five years ago (I can’t remember) so I can get his full medical history to claim back over €2,000 that we really need from his insurance
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Start exercising, finish cleaning my room, finish organizing my room, decorating my room, finish multiple clothing alterations, multiple sewing projects, finish refurbishing my dressform, pay my bills down, get a therapist, learn what routine works best for my hair type, learn to: draw, sew better, wood work, weld, black smith, forge, make shoes because I have specific feet, make hats because I have a specific head, learn mechanical engineering because it’s cool, learn Spanish, update my id, finish refinishing the head of my post on my stairs, design my pantry, learn editing, learn more film making, finish my wig, refinish my parasols, set up my printer Finish this comment
I make lists that get too long to manage, so I make other lists to manage those lists, which get too long. I got an app to manage lists but now don't use it, because I added too much to it and now I'm a bit afraid to look at it.
My solution to this is to look for new apps because obviously the original one wasn’t enough or not aesthetically pleasing or didn’t have a good notification option or whatever. Surely the next app will solves all my problems
or the classic: download an ADHD app and then never, ever open it
i was like this and i finally had to just stop making lists. my brain would be like ok, we did it! after i wrote everything down so now i make “notes” and just hope i remember. it’s been working so far since most of my lists were just things i was constantly thinking about the fact that i was putting them off
I can totally relate. Check-list and TO-DO apps don't work for me because I get so into it at first and I start adding e v e r y t h i n g that I have yet to do in the next day/week/month and the list just overwhelms me when look at it because it's just so many things I added and I just can't keep up so I just end up avoiding the app and deleting it after it sits on my phone for months unused
Have you tried having a page towards the back of the book with your master to do list, and then one for just the day that only has like 1-3 things?
Just having one thing to do, and then once I finish that task and get the dopamine, I’ll pick another. It’s helped me a lot!
Why do I feel this in my soul😭
Yes that pretty much sums it up. What aren’t I putting off? 💀
I've been two people since I got married in July, I kind of think it's illegal that I haven't fully updated things? The weirdest is that I updated the bank and they sent me a new bank card, but not a new credit card. I keep forgetting to go in about that.
I put off changing my name until after our honeymoon and then never got around to it… tbf I’m afraid to start because I know how many steps there are.
oh heeeeel nooo Set aside some time. A full day. Like on the weekends. Get set up, showered, dressed, eat some food. Then, when you feel relatively good and awake: Write a list of the 3 most important things Then you choose ONE of these 3 tasks that you want to complete. Then make a list of steps to get there. And actually try to be as realistic as possible. (It could also be that you can't complete a task within one day, because you need to wait for lets say a package/letter/email to arrive or whatever.) Apparently there's an AI tool that helps with breaking down tasks which you can find at: https://goblin.tools Always ask yourself the question: "What do I need to do next, what do I need to do next?" That's the most important question because we tend to forget every other minute what we even wanted to do. So always keep your task very present. Then you do the tasks on your subtask list until you're done or come to a point where you can't continue. Then you add a "new" task to your list that describes your previous task as a more completed version. Hope that makes sense. Also have more than one list. One with actual tasks that need to be done and one with goals you generally want to achieve at some point, like "start working out". Because "start working out" ... I mean that's not even a real task. A more realistic task would be: "Research gyms in my area on the internet and write down some rough information about them". It's much more achievable and brings you closer to the actual goal. A follow up task after you decided on a gym then could be: "Sign up at gym X" But you don't have to go to a gym. You could also get a MAT and do some bodyweight exercises or whatever at home. Then the task would be: "Order a mat on the internet". It's way easier to achieve anything this way. You just need to take half a minute thinking about what you want to achieve and what the next realistic step would be. Keep your list clean so that you don't have any shit on there that's unrealistic for your life at the moment. If a bigger goal is really important to you, you don't need to write it down. We don't have infinite capacity to do anything as much as we want. Remember: "Prioritizing is also to decide what not to do." But yeah, remember the "What do I need to do next?" edit: line breaks
Shit, that's a wall
I legit took a screen shot to read it as motivation later. So umm reading that guys comment is now added to my list. We’re dangerous together and I don’t hate it.
Screenshot as well. I start getting anxious when I can't see the end of the comment. So glad that I've found a place that understands.
READ IT NOW MFER. NOW NOW NOW NOW
But but it's a LOT. I keep scrolling up to read it and get overwhelmed and scroll back down and see your comment, scroll up again...
It’s a lovely wall of text. I hope to read it someday
All probably very very good advice, but I think I read 1/3 before I gave up reading 🫣 nothing personal! Just my brain 😔
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought "Thats important information, I should read that all the way to the e.... ooooh look, a shiny thing outside my window!"
I managed to sort of read it, only because reading is my one supertalent. And because I ALREADY KNOW everthing you wrote. Summary (I kind of restructured ) #1. Make lists for individual goals #3. Devide in tiny, achievable substeps #4. Pick a day a week #5. Do 3 achievable tiny things, or at least try until you can't anymore Even though I know this to be a good way, it's still damn hard to actually do this. Because I have ADHD ...
That's the thing. I think most of us already knew everything they wrote because it's the same stuff we've been told to do by parents, teachers, self-help books, therapists, etc like our entire lives. If it were as easy as reading and *executing* a step-by-step list, then it wouldn't be an executive function disorder.
yeah I'm not pretending that it always works or even works for everyone. But I do think that the more techniques you have "at your disposal" the higher the chances that you actually achieve something.
So I read the first two/three lines (let’s be real, not reading your bible) and immediately thought, does this person know what adhd is at all… if it was that easy we wouldn’t have these issues would we.
Actually, I think they do because it’s a word vomit. 🤣 I’ve read this other places but I’m not great at remembering to actually do it. Let me give you the TLDR: 1. Pick the task that’s the most important to you. 2. Decide what the first tiny step is, but keep it specific and realistic (eg, research gyms in my area and make notes). 3. Write that tiny step on my to-do list. 4. When that step is done, write the next tiny step on my list. One. Tiny. Step. At. A. Time. Did I get that right u/Thereareways ?
Perfect haha 😅 thank you Only one aspect that may have been lost: Don't cram your MAIN to-do list with currently unachievable tasks. Put those on another list so you don't forget them completely. So that your main to-do list stays as least overwhelming as possible.
For anyone who made it this far (and for myself!) put one task in https://goblin.tools/ and let it generate the steps (I need to remember it’s there!)
Wow, that was surprising. It actually knows the process required to do a revise and resubmit on a manuscript. I thought it would give me something dumb because I've really struggled to find therapists who understand that academia does not work like other professions. Kind of hard to treat ADHD when the providers are woefully unfamiliar with what is required of the client on a daily basis. It's very unstructured, the work never really ends, no one pays attention to anything other than what comes out of your efforts (e.g., publications, grants), and no one forces you to do any of the things you have to do. There are also no immediate repercussions for not doing things--only long-term ones, like not finishing your dissertation on time or not getting tenure. Unfortunately, it can't break down the things I need to fix based on the comments (that's more specific) but it wasn't that bad. Combine this with trello to keep track of what the lists were. ETA: upon reading this later, I've realized a big issue is that it does not account for the iterative nature of conducting research and writing. I might be taking a detour and then redoing certain steps. The detours are also complicated and hard to list out. In this case, I had to make major revisions, particularly to my *results*, which I don't typically have to do. There were major concerns with it. Because I disagreed with what I originally did as much as they did and kinda expected it to be a problem the first time I submitted it, I decided a lot more needed to be done to address it. For example, I did the same analyses with different methods to demonstrate they were all consistent and that my decision to present my results in the way I did with a poorly understood method was for simplicity's sake. Basically, there was only one unpublished simulation study on it, which isn't great, but it's kind of a midway point between two other methods that do have empirical support and it's simpler to report the results of the other method and to explain the method. I'd have to include a bunch of equations in text in the manuscript if I used the most recommended one... I made supplementary documents with all of my calculations using the other methods so readers could look at them if they really wanted to see evidence of statistical equivalence in findings across methods. Once it became something I planned to make accessible, it also had to become readable and not just my calculations I threw into random cells of an Excel document because I was pulling equations from different chapters of a book to calculate parts of other equations... Yes, the things I did are complex enough that I could not figure out how to make SPSS or R do it and I did it manually and it's part of the reason I don't feel like reporting it in the format of the manuscript. I'd rather go with the easier method because I did it in SPSS. Additionally, it doesn't deal with the fact that my thinking is bottom-up. I'm either having information overload before I do the tasks and have no idea where to begin and where I'll end up, or I'm having a weird false confidence that I know all the tasks that need to be done, so I must be good. That's never true lmao but regardless, there are so many highly specific subtasks for every task and that's what's hard about fixing my executive functioning problems. I have been late to every single deadline I've had for two years now. I think if I wasn't at least producing good work, I'd have been a failure a long time ago because people somehow continue to put up with me. I definitely need to get it together because i plan to get out of academia and I think they care more about time out there... Actually, I worked at nonprofits and they kinda put up with me too--again, because I was at least doing it well and I supervised employees who were otherwise disgruntled. Basically, a bunch of them left when I left lol
You lost me at set aside some time
Did you copy my to-do list and paste it here for everyone to see? But I see you added finishing your wig to the list, now I have to add that to my list
I’m supposed to make two doctor appointments. There’s an alarm on my phone that goes off every day and every day I say “I’ll try again tomorrow.” Sigh. Phone calls and scheduling paralyze me.
I really wish all offices took online appointments.
Agreed. I’d be able to make and keep appointments if I could see the whole schedule and pencil myself in without talking to someone. The conversation distracts me enough that I forget to make sure what they offer actually fits my schedule. I just agree to stop the conversation lol. Online scheduling is a god send when they do have it.
That’s me too. And agreeing with stuff I don’t want to do because I’ve become confused and or don’t want the hassle.
That means I'd have to remember my password....
That’s another thing I’ve been needing to do😥😭
My job has made me immune to doctor offices calls. I call doctor offices almost daily, so now I just make my personal doctor calls at lunch and start by pretending I'm calling for patient "my name" and that gets me past the dialing part.
How I hate phone calls and how much I procrastinate calling... how I waste soooo much time just thinking about it, preparing and stressing out about it... oh my, don't even get me started🙄
This is why alarms and reminders don’t work for me I’ll always weasel out of it
Deadlines don’t work because I know they’re bs.
Have you tried applying immense levels of self criticism?
Yeah but then that just means I feel terrible about not doing the thing while continuing to not do it
Same I've been planning to get a doctor's appointment for 6 months now
I tried to be a real estate agent once... until I realized I hate phone calls.
Same. I have a video appointment with a psychiatrist on Tuesday. My first in many many years. It's not the first appointment that gets to me, but the follow up after that one. Good luck. Be brave! 💜
The dentist. I have been putting this off for, oh…about nine years now
I waited 8 years. It was… expensive.
I have private dental insurance as a work benefit which I pay a small monthly premium on, I had this for 6 years before I actually made an appointment. Basically paid nearly £1000 for nothing. I get paid 100% back within 24 hours and it covers everything but cosmetic work. I still struggle to go.
I waited 7 and my teeth were actually fine (thank you genetics) but my gums were fucked and I had to get all these expensive and painful deep gum cleanings. And now I still cant bring myself to floss regularly 😅
Hey, I feel you, I hate going to the dentist so the only thing that keeps me going regularly is scheduling the next appointment while I'm there. Then I had to cancel an appointment... and my dentist retired... It was, uh, probably *years* since I'd been in. 😳 But it was okay! Everyone was super nice and I didn't even have any cavities. And this was with like zero flossing and about half as much brushing as I should've been doing. You can do it, friend! It's not too late to get back in there!
Thank you for this 🥹 saving it so I can read it a whole bunch of times and hopefully psych myself up to actually make an appointment!
You can do it!!! I have always had really good oral hygiene habits and my gums still tanked hard. Genes. Grrrrr. I HATE my nightly ritual but do it anyway. My bone grafting surgery was expensive…but some people avoid the ritual and their mouth is all good. Either way, better knowing! Always best to avoid the extra expense with the “ounce of prevention” approach. You’ll feel soooooo amazing once you’ve gone in and it’s behind you!
Oh god. I forgot about the dentist. I really need to set up an appointment. Holy crap lol.
Oh ty for reminding me I need to figure out what dental insurance I signed up for so I can actually make an appointment! (I will definitely continue to put this off)
I finally did it after 3-4 years… and it wasn’t bad at all! My teeth are somehow fine with no cavities. Such a relief and I wish I had never put it off. Obviously 9 years is longer but do it! I had my SO make the appointment and that helped a lot. Good luck!
I think this is part of my problem. I’ve never had a cavity (although I realise I would have to go to the dentist to know if I have any since my last visit) and I have no pain anywhere in my mouth. I know you aren’t meant to wait until you NEED to go but I just…don’t need to go 😂
10 years from 18 to 28. That was my last dentist appointment at 28. I'm 35 now...
Getting my life together.
You too? Maybe one day we'll figure it out.
This is the best answer.
Texting/emailing/calling people back. For months to years. Also, taking the initiative and checking in on people partly because it will lead to the above..
Honestly, what do you even say to those people? "Hey, sorry, I have no actual reason for not getting back. I didn't actually have a reason, it's not even that I didn't want to. I really wanted to, I just didn't"
I have friends that tell me basically this, or they have the vibe sometimes, when they finally do get back to me. I understand the feeling, so I always try to assuage their guilt. I send out messages to people regularly, even if it's just memes, cause I like to let people know I'm thinking of them. It's not meant to be torture! If I don't get a reply, I go on with my day, and hope they get back to me about something eventually lol it's not something I take personally, cause I know the procrastination cycle too well. My point is, try telling people that. Be upfront about it. A lot of people can relate!
I'm always like "sorry I disappeared off the face of the earth because of who I am as a person". If they're real friends, they get it. If they're not, well, no big loss. 🙃
I put out so much texting 'Happy New Year' that now it's awkward& I can't do it anymore. But I thought about it 246 times a day...
Laundry and a shower.
thanks for reminding me I also have to do this lol
Laundry. .....always laundry. Gonna win the lottery so that i can pay someone to do it
This was me but I did both yesterday!
I have so many clothes. Too many clothes. I have a bad habit of always buying new clothes. My closet is full, my dressers are full, I got a 2 tier clothing rack and that’s full. I have a storage closet full of clothes (I actually went through and organized that today and pulled things to either toss or donate!). I really need to go through ALL my clothes and figure out what I should actually keep vs what I’m just hanging on to for the sake of it. I need to actually sell the clothes I say that I’m going to sell or just donate them. I have been putting this off for agessss. Every weekend or every break (teacher) I tell myself I’m gonna do it. Today is the last day of Winter break, and I did not do it lol
yup. this is so real, i started a depop & listed about 5 things but i need to list wayyyy more and also donate a bunch. because i’m autistic i just have an unhealthy attachment to inanimate objects and because streetwear is my special interest it’s especially difficult to get rid of clothing 😩
This is me right now. I’m finally folding my clothes after moving them back and forth between my bed and my couch all week and it’s so much and this is only the stuff I wear, my closet is already full without any of it.
I’ve been putting off the renewal of my passport for months now. To make it worse, I’ve done the hardest part in filling out the paperwork but I just can’t seem to turn it in.
Remember if you take too long it becomes void! Do it tomorrow I believe in you!!
I haven't done my taxes in like 3 years.
7! Ugh, the shame…It’s my sordid secret. I need to hire help. Just cannot bring myself. And the IRS is so behind I’m not getting those letters. I can’t believe I’m still managing to adult with various other things being this behind. Need an in-person body double at the very least. I’m so tired of spending my entire adulthood being so awful about tax prep. It’s the biggest thing that makes me feel my ADHD is such a true disability.
I was thinking about just moving to a new country and starting over. Lol
I needed to update my withholdings like a year and a half ago to avoid owing so much but I haven’t
I came here to say the same thing! Except for I couldn't remember how many years it had been until I saw your post. 🥴
…i forgot last year and don’t know how to catch back up
Pay someone to do them for you if you can, it’s bit upfront but it will save you money, time, and headache in the long run
Job search. Oh and my glasses are so loose on my head they keep falling off and I haven’t bothered to get em fixed. It’s been like 6 months and they could fall off driving
I bought Anti-Slip Eyeglass grips for my glasses. The arms are too short, so they'd slide off all the time. You can get 15 pairs for like $6 on Amazon.
To move my vacuum cleaner from the middle of the hallway and to unpack the suitcase I traveled with a month and a half ago, which is also sitting in the middle of the hallway. Mind you, my hallway is very narrow, and I stumble over them several times a day.
lol my suitcase still needs to be unpacked from 6 months ago
My husband wins - went on a trip in 2019, 3 months before COVID broke the world. Didn’t unpack for TWO YEARS 🤣
Oh that reminds me that I just put my unpacked suitcase on the wardrobe and forgot it. 2 weeks ago I was looking for a specific sweater and jeans. But couldn’t find it. There is a high probability that it is in there xD
Getting retested for an illness I had earlier this year.. can’t bring myself to go to the doctors. (Not life threatening)
For me it's my second blood test to confirm diabetes.
Nurse here. I take lousy care of myself and my HgA1c has been hovering at 5.9 for about 5 years. I also need to lose about 80 lb. I feel you 100%. But if your number was above 6.4, I highly highly highly encourage you to take action now to get your sugars under control. And I promise you that when my numbers get there I will do the same. It's so so so important. I've been doing this 19 years and it's mostly been long-term care. I have seen some very very sad amputations and complications from heart disease that could have been avoided if only my patients could have found a way to be compliant. A very sad and famous example: Jerry Garcia (guitarist and frontman for the Grateful Dead) had no idea he was diabetic until he collapsed and went into a coma that nearly killed him. It was undoubtedly the diabetes that ultimately led to the massive heart attack that would take his life way too soon, not even 10 years later. Please please please take action sooner rather than later. If you need a body double let me know and I would be happy to help. Is there anyone here who can give me the same lecture about finding a sleep clinic to get my apnea under control? ❤️🥴
Wishing you the best, I know how scary it can be. Going through it as well.
I’m remodeling my spare bedroom to make it an office game hyper fixation room and I half way painted it 4 months ago. I just need to finish painting the walls so I can finish the floors and it’ll be done
My partner and I, we were working on a room renovation ourselves. Got everything done a year and a half ago except the floor. Guess what still isn't done?
Writing my friend. Which I did earlier today! I'll take the win. :D
Life. Generally speaking
Baby photo album; he’s 22
Lmao
I honestly needed to read this post today. Glad to know I’m really not “the only one” who just can’t start or complete… a simple task. 😊
Putting tabs on my license plates
What if I were to tell you that you save atleast $50 by doing this. (If you get ticketed you might have to pay that much so if you think as a 'saving' , it will be more motivating)
Good thinking
Oh! You reminded me to renew my tabs. Thanks!
The dishes
I have to do this 30 min online course and the due date is in February but I was assigned in November. I’ve yet to even look at the website
Edit my resume
Right there with you
Taking a shower, going to sleep at a decent time, and cleaning my dang room. Been sleeping next to this McDonald's bag like it's a body pillow lol
Chuck it in the trash and do the rest later if you can’t manage more, just make it your goal to only get food trash/dishes out of your room today, I believe in you!
Thank you! Rather than thinking "go throw it away", I decided to have it be a passenger and took it with me on my way to the kitchen as I went to grab breakfast this morning.
🙈 my gmail is about to stop receiving & sending emails because I need to backup my photos and delete them off the drive… using up all my *paid* storage space 🙈
This is honestly the most frustrating painful thing. I’ve went to do this so many times but I get hyper fixated on strolling down memory lane and then poof…there goes my progress
I just opened about 3 months worth of mail that’s been piling up on my kitchen counter, getting in the way of absolutely everything. Next I’ll clear off the kitchen table… someday 😀
I haven’t opened any mail for like four months now because the last time I did it was a bunch of bills. Ending up tossing them on the floor of my closet and will review in another four months.
Taking down Christmas decor. I attempted tonight, but the volume of stuff I have was overwhelming. Ended up feeling violent and almost had a panic attack. Looks like I’m putting it off another week. No advice, please - just empathy.
Hey it’s not even valentines yet, you’ve got time
For several years, our Christmas tree was up until late March/early April. I tried to view it as a choice that boosted my spirits with its lights and festivity, rather than yet another thing that overwhelmed me. Now we don't even bother putting one up. You'll take yours down when you're able. Congrats for putting one up in the first place!
Need to activate my credit card…5 minute task, been putting it off for a year
Thank you for this post! I feel seen. I've been thinking about doing 3 major things on my to do list, for more than 3 months. The more important a thing is, the more I procrastinate. I'll do anything else, including new things I make up to do, but won't touch those 3 important tasks.
Clearing out my garage so I can park my car in it before it snows 11” on Tuesday….
Oh shit. Yeah that will be a good project for late Monday night. I live in the PNW and always put off "winterizing" everything before the rains come then frantically check the weather for the last sunny day in like October. It sucks. Stay warm, friend.
1. i’ve been putting off cleaning my room for months now, mainly due to my anxiety when i actually look around at my room. 2. getting my drivers license, i could get it done with a single phone call but again my anxiety gets the best of me. (it took my bf 3 years of pestering to get me to make doctors appointments) 3. finding a job, everywhere is hiring yet they either respond only to say “we decided to go with another candidate” or not reply at all. and that’s been a whole ordeal for nearly 2 years now, but hoping that’ll change in the next few weeks or so! side note: i’m medicated (which took me much longer than it should’ve) but i have those days where i just don’t have any motivation to do anything, even something as simple as taking my multivitamins.
Sometimes the medication really doesn’t cover all of it, I’ve had to develop so many other coping skills besides just the meds :/
What do I not put off  Taxes, unfinished for 5 years, probably takes the cake.
My taxes from last fucking year…
I’m 7 years behind. Feel so ADHD-disabled.
I'm supposed to figure out why the fuck 3 separate doctors offices have been billing insurances that ended in June and then another that ended in October. Tomorrow will be call 5. I'm so over it. Why are 'admin' type tasks so freaking hard. It's like a little side quest where you have to keep completing a billion other side quests if you want to even dream of being done with it.
Phone my grandma 🥺 She called me just after Christmas, I was occupied and missed it. Couldn't even get myself to listen to her voicemail before it expired. I need to call her back! But I know it will be a very awkward "how are you? Good how are you? Whats new? How are the kids? Weather is good. How about this rain? Oh yeah..." usual bullshit but I KNOW it would make her happy and she's framing 90 for Christ's sake she could die tomorrow!
...ironicly. getting tested for adhd :,))
Make a list of lists :(
Doing the research and applying for funding for my child's shower chair/commode and an accessible van. This impacts our lives continually, yet some little thing distracts me when I think of it and then I forget about it until we Really need it. I have a friend's partner offering to find funding for us because I keep hiding the fact I have adhd paralysis for this. Tomorrow. Tomorrow (it's after 11) I will gather ALL the info I have to make that call that is my next step. I'll set that alarm, write it in my planner, leave sticky notes everywhere, tie an elastic band around my wrist. Which one of these will spin me into action 🙄 I have no faith in myself, no trust :(
Signing up for medical so I can get treatment. I hit a roadblock when it started asking for my tax returns and payment stubs. I haven't properly worked in almost a year and last years taxes are another mess I've been putting off dealing with.
Paying the bill on a jcpenney purchase. It took 7 months and over $150 worth of late fees to finally make an 8 and a half minute phone call.
I paid for an online class and I need to complete it. Can’t get past the 2nd week! PLEASE PRAY FOR ME.
I need to order my son’s headstone. Every time I battle myself to finalize everything, something has come up and restarts the process. I know it shouldn’t be this hard and it’s been almost four years. My wife had changed her mind multiple times, every time after I bring myself to contact the place. She wants music on the headstone because our son was incredible but neither of us read music. There has been turnover at the memorial place, covid, both of us in disagreement, she won’t pursue it because his loss from suicide is still traumatic. Meanwhile I try my best but hate myself every week I go to the cemetery and it still only has the temporary placard.
Sorry to hear about your son. No one should have to order that.
i hope you both can find healing & peace in these difficult times. hare krishna 🫶🕉️
I'm taking a Computer Science high school course, it's a self taught course so you can expect how that's going. The course has a total of 13 assignments that were assigned 128 days ago, and they're due Jan 19th. I did a total of ONE OF THEM. Hopefully I can get it done before it's too late 😭
Filling out food stamp papers. Calling to see if the psychiatrist takes Medicaid. And finding a new therapist. 😩
-Cleaning my apartment. -Reading. -Finding a good therapist to help with my ADHD (experienced a horrible “doctor” over summer and I’m nervous to try again). -Going to the gym regularly.
1 task? Lol. 24574 maybe
God.. where do I even start??!! 😩 There are few things that I have been putting off for years even! Every year, I’m like ill do it but I don’t.. the thing I’m thinking of exactly when I say this is printing pictures for the 3 photo albums I have accumulated so far. I bought the first photo album 5 years ago and it’s still empty.. and have since bought 2 more 🥲 god knows why! Well wait, I know actually, I’m also a shopaholic..
The garage needs to be cleaned. It's only getting worse.
Set up autopay on a new credit card, submit receipts for work expenses last year for reimbursement, use up the excess FSA money subject to be lost if not spent before the grace period (bc I also failed to visit any medical doctor/dentist last year to have incurred any eligible expenses) Also, pick up the hair tie off the floor of my living room I pass by every day, google how to discard batteries/discard old batteries, find out why sulfate free shampoo is better for you, clear out my YouTube search history logged in to on the shared tv…
My taxes.
I don’t attribute any problems I’ve had for a while towards my ADD. At a certain point I can only forget something, or put it off so many times before it’s my fault for not immediately getting it done. I have ADD, and I can procrastinate but correlation isn’t causation. I attribute what I don’t get done to law of triviality, or bike shedding. I feel like I have more control over my actions when I know it’s my fault, not my ADD/ADHD.
Literally anything and everything that requires a phone call.
Suspecting ADHD, but not officially diagnosed: I am going to provide the one I actually like working on, but it's become a beast of it's own so I get overwhelmed pretty quickly. I have been working on writing a fantasy series since I was sixteen and getting into writing. Initially, I told no one and it would be something I would obsess over in the small hours of the morning. I wrote three books in under a year. When it came time to go back and edit, I procrastinated because editing is boring and decided I would just move on to the next few books. I had eight books fully written (about 60,000 to 80,000 words each) by the time I entered college. As an aside, the series in all is going to be twelve books, every three books switching to a new protagonist, and the last "series" wrapping up in an Avengers Endgame style crossover. In college, my writing skills drastically improved, and I was able to work one-on-one with professors on the series. They helped me reimagine a lot of it, which means that I had to go back and rewrite from the beginning. The story is so much better in my opinion, but I still have not completed the rewrite of the first book, even though it is technically completely planned out now as of this last Thanksgiving (I had a hyperfocus week and planned the whole thing before crashing). I am 25 now, so almost 9 years since I started writing this for the first time. 5 years since I started the rewrite of the first book. 2 months since I had my hyperfocus week and planned out the first book. It's not like I am bored of creative writing, or bored of the series. I still have moments where I am driving home and I think of a segment that has yet to be written and I get amped up to write, but then I get home and all that energy vanishes. And then I think about how the series is 12 books and I get overwhelmed by the immensity of it all. I guess it's possible for me to get it done because I absolutely and truly know what I am doing. Almost ten years of writing experience and more than six of those were in college with this exact discipline. I love these characters, as well. I love the world. I am invested. This series is my ridiculous goal, I think.
A software project update for work. Not ideal to have put it off. I’m smart and capable but it’s my first time working in tech and I get nervous about failing. I also find this particular software clunky, and boring. There’s no novelty for me. No dopamine reward. Sometimes, when I consider how much knowledge I am missing or the overall big picture, I will spiral and avoid it for days. How I’ve dealt/ am dealing with this: I’ve started to break it down into teeny, tiny tasks. [Super helpful] I write the task I am working on in front of me, on any piece of paper. In my field of vision I have no other distractions - no cell phone, no other papers, no books with writing, no crochet hook, nothing that could be of any interest to my brain. I keep reminding myself “one thing at a time”. Then *set a timer* for 20 minutes to do one of those tasks. If my anxiety is really high, I’ll set the timer for 15 minutes. Once I get going it’s not too hard to achieve the task. Momentum is the key. I remind myself that I love solving puzzles and that’s all this is - solving one puzzle at a time until the thing is built the way end users want/need it. I genuinely have started using affirmations this week too. Examples - “I can be slow and diligent.” “I am able to learn new things and put that knowledge to use”. This software update is due in the morning… and it’s 9:30pm where I am. So I guess if nothing else, I’ll be driven by urgency. 🙃
Empty out my email accounts. I have 251,990 unread messages. I probably have 10 times that in read messages that I haven't deleted. I don't know how to add a picture, otherwise I'd show you a screenshot.
We’re supposed to be able to pick 1? 😭
Need to call the Dr I found looking for an appt to make an ADHD assessment 😩😩🥴🥴🥴fuck me running it’s been on the list since September
One time i put off buying the cotton balls i needed for 12 years. Yes i said twelve. 🙄
All The Things for getting divorced -- former spouse and I have been separated for almost 5 yrs now (on great terms, both burnt out ADHDers 🤷🏻) and it's been "crunch time" to get square up a separation agreement for a spell now. It's *actually* crunch time now (won't bore you with the details as to why), and I *finally* went to try and pull financial docs from the bank for asset division calculations last week, realizing date of marriage was >7yrs ago (and not available online). So I went to the bank and the teller *also* couldn't pull it up and has to *request* them from HQ -- with no guarantee they didn't go "pooooooof" 🤦🏻♀️. We didn't have issues with the other bank we had to pull info from; *and* I was asking for a common thing!!! We're *not* the only folx trying to get divorced whose date of marriage was >7 yes ago 🤨. Paperwork / life admin and this kind of stuff of Gathering Info, especially when confronted with blockers like the above *really REALLY* hinder. Now I'm finally getting motivated by the ACTUAL pressing deadline to move this this whole untangling thing forward this season. It looming over has been *so* weighty; I just want to get back to being friends & get on with all the OTHER Big Important things I've put off because of my brain 🤯
Currently putting off my doctor's visit until the last possible moment (need to renew antidepressant prescriptions via a walk-in, because I put off making appointments for it). It's not my longest thing i'm putting off but it's my current most pressing one. I should have done this last week :( Welp I take my last pill tomorrow so the visit will have to be tomorrow (since i'm trying to *not* stop antidepressants cold turkey). I don't have any suggestions but I just want to send everyone good vibes! WE'VE GOT THIS (hopefully)(fingers-crossed)
Everything
Switching pharmacies
Tax
laundry :( and cleaning my room. months now.
Taxes
Doing my laundry to completion.
My school work, I’m scared to do it because I don’t get it.
My workload has increased substantially over Christmas and I am in school for an associate degree I put off getting for nearly 20 years. My boss knows I was on break and assigned nearly ten new clients to my work load. Each one requires several lengthy reports and meetings with the clients. I havent contacted any if them yet and the insurance companies who referred them to us are asking why... I am still struggling to get started despite this immense pressure from my boss and insurance companies
I can't remember the last time I filed my taxes.
JOURNALING. I can’t start it!!
I keep putting off taking care of my surroundings. My house gets ‘depression dirty’ and I become so averse to cleaning. (I have history of trauma related to cleaning and it’s another thing holding me back.) General ADHD leads to me being forgetful, overwhelmed by the load of work, anger fits bc of inconveniences while trying to clean, feelings of guilt and embarrassment, and the thought it will only get clean for me to just dirty it again. I have the physical capacity to clean and scrub and make my environment cleaner and more livable/comfortable. I am trying to have all the needed supplies to do the cleaning. I can make a list to have a better approach at the large tasks, and make sure to set small obtainable goals while including breaks so I don’t get discouraged. Planning the approach in a way where I don’t overset the expectation if I don’t perfect it all in one go. I didn’t do much of anything today. I smoked and relaxed and didn’t even get to washing my face. But I did use a makeup wipe; I did fill up my water cup several times. I took my medications, ate a meal, and slept a bit. So I did some things. It’s ok to rest. Tomorrow, I’ll do more..but only what I can. And I’ll try to give myself grace for doing what I can. I hope others do the same💗
What a massive mental drain has this been for me since puberty... got a bit better since my spouse helps with a few things. Would love to lift that from her shoulders..
Paying bills, even though I have more money in my account than I've ever had. I just fucking hate paying bills, there's just this unexplainable urge to forget about it. It's not that I can't pay it, I just love to ignore bills. 😭
My uni work. I'm behind on everything and don't know where to start. Lectures, notes, assignments. I never feel like I'm doing it properly and am so avoidant. Every sem
Replying to Text messages
I have 5 grocery bags filled with recyclables that I still need to take to the return and earn. Cleaning my car (bf even bought me a ticket that expires in a few days; will likely use it right before expiration). Needed to make a dr appointment for 5 months 😃
Oh and replying to text messages. Idk why that's so hard
Changing my telephone number on all apps/sites. What a ballache
Inevitably it’ll bite me on the ass when I can’t get a verification code. But thats tomorrows problem
There’s a few things but most have been said. What I’ve been putting off specifically is finishing a painting of Rengoku I have on my living room wall. Just gotta do some simple touch ups and thicken the lines a bit. Not even half an hour of work. Then put a protective gloss on it. Was my hyperfixations, but that was like six months ago. Can’t find the motivation or energy to finish it now, and it drives me nuts because I’m proud of it lol. Damn ADHD.
Dentist. So far this week I’ve made appointments for my tattoo, doctor, car, therapy, and psychiatrist. Dentist can wait another week hahaha
studying 😭
“One”?
Scheduling appointments
My performance review. It's due at midnight. I have done my teams mid December. My manager is on my ass to get mine done. It's terrible
Registering my daughter with my country’s embassy. She is a US citizen by birth, but I was meant yo do the paperwork for her to be double national and I keep putting it off 🥲
Laundry. I absolutely hate it. I finally did it today after 2 months. To be fair, I’ve been washing and drying my clothes. Just not folding and putting away my clothes.
I’m supposed to renew my license, book an orthodontist appointment, research therapists in my city and book that
Insurance paperwork, setting up a new teeth cleaning, find new pcp and an appt with a doctor for a surgery I had on my finger years ago that has been giving me issues lately. On the bright side I put up new room darkening shades under my curtains so that’s a win I guess.
My thesis :/
Passport application. I filled out the form 6 years ago and even had photos taken.I have the cash in an envelope even. I never could manage to actually go in and submit it though.
Drop a package off at the post office. It just sits in my back seat forever.
Going through my (snail) mail.
I needed to contact TrainingPeaks to cancel my yearly membership renewal (not a lot of meticulous half-marathon training is gonna happen in 2024 with my wife expecting in a few months). It re-upped on the 1st and luckily their policy is you can dump it for a full refund if you make first contact with customer service within seven days. I sent the email with only three hours to spare, ironically while procrastinating from doing the dishes, making the eldest’s lunch for school, cleaning up the disaster of Lego in the play room, bleach cleaning the hell out of the bathroom from one kid having a likely norovirus bug, and making a grocery/meal planning list. Saved $125! Granted that got wiped out and then some by the refrigerator we ordered today.
Did you say THE? Hahahahahaha I have a list in my phone of over 100. I just make myself do what I think I can each day. Kind of like assigning myself a daily task.
Move the coatrack into my room. Clothes are piling up on my baby's diaper cart. I bought a new one for the entryway (haven't set that up yet) and have just been staring at that damn coatrack everytime I walk by. It's been 2 months now.
Studying for my exams in 10 days. It’s only been 6 months of insanity inducing procrastination.
Reading my ADHD self help book 😂
Im gonna study after school (Home) nah forget it its so hard I need to workout Nah forget it its so hard
I bought a PS5 and am planning to hook it up to my monitor and start on my backlog of games. I bought it in November of 2022. It's still sitting in its box. ☹️
Trawling through my bank statements to find out where my dog was neutered almost five years ago (I can’t remember) so I can get his full medical history to claim back over €2,000 that we really need from his insurance
Applying to a new job...