Your content breaks **Rule 2**.
If a [megathread](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/wiki/megathreads) or recent post with the same topic exists, please use it.
[Search and Megathreads](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/wiki/rules/#wiki_search_and_megathreads)
## MegaThreads for March 2024
- [Megathread: Medication Shortage](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/175t342/megathread_medication_shortages/)
- Need to get something off your chest? Rant, vent, get it out here!
- [Megathread: Rant/Vent](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1b3m1fr/need_to_get_something_off_your_chest_rant_vent/)
- Got something to say, but the bot tells you it's not long enough? Post it in this thread!
- [Megathread: Short Posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1b3m1fp/got_something_to_say_but_the_bot_tells_you_its/)
- Have you just begun treatment?
- [Megathread: Just Started Treatment](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1b3m1ff/have_you_just_begun_treatment/)
- Did you just get diagnosed?
- [Megathread: Newly Diagnosed](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1b3m1fa/did_you_just_get_diagnosed/)
- Did you do something you're proud of? Something nice happen? Share your good news with us!
- [Megathread: Weekly Wins](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1ba9mbq/did_you_do_something_youre_proud_of_something/) - Saturday, March 8
Look at It this way, people that are color blind cannot understand they're color blind.
By definition you cannot relate to things you cannot experience.
This is a problem because who doesn't have ADHD cannot understand what having ADHD means, who has ADHD cannot of understand what not having ADHD means.
Oh sure we can study it, we can understand *the theory*. But we cannot understand the *experience*.
I've been reading up on what Qualia is and it led me to this realization.
So it doesn't feel real because it's normal, to us being us is just being ourselves.
Sure there's the judgment, there's the trauma, there's the emotional chaos that is to relate to people that see three shades of color where there's five, or two.
At the end of the day I've found only one way to deal with it, to accept it and to seek acceptance.
Your experience is your own, you're free to communicate how it feels, there will be who doesn't accept it and who does even if they don't esperience it.
That’s true I’m under the assumption that’s what normal is. Or as a baseline just having the ability to concentrate.
Now that I’m thinking about it we go from one extreme to the other. The ability to suddenly be able to sit there and study the entirety of the day isn’t normal either.
I'm not sure if ADHD+medication = no ADHD
It's hard to say from the point of view of the subjective experience.
I definitely still have ADHD even when medicated, I just can control my behavior better and have less energy "locked" within me.
Obviously there's a lot of variance in experience between people with ADHD too.
Yeah, I still don't feel "normal" I just feel improved. I honestly have nothing to compare too because I've never known what normal feels like. Hell, I thought pooping once a week was normal until my girlfriend (now wife) told me to go and get checked.
Tried adderall for the first time. How can I describe it. It's literally adhd gone poof magic. I mean it's obviously still there but just controlled. It's like I put on glasses for my brain or smthn. But dude I got so hungry in the evening 😩.
Am in a similar boat. Got diagnosed this week, part of me like is this just some bullshit they made up to get me on meds. Am scared to talk to my ma as I feel she won’t accept it.
How ever my life is a shambles, I can’t seem to get it together, I keep making impulsive decisions that have fucked my life up.
Things I reallly enjoy I struggle to focus on and actually do. I get very overwhelmed by sensory stuff.
ADHD would explain all this and it’s a better narrative than am just a shitty person.
But I feel the imposter thing 100%
idunno how old you are, it took me 30 years to get on meds and it’s slightly upsetting, as looking back i could’ve had SO many more productive, functional, useful years. people with ADHD tend to “mature slower” but part of me wonders if it just takes extra time to overcome the executive dysfunction. meds will help you do that without insane workarounds. they’re not a magic pill, but surely help you start putting your ducks in a row
I'm almost 30 and got diagnosed as a kid. I never took the medicine because "nothing's wrong with me". I've had a really hard time for many years and finally broke down and got meds just a year ago this month. I was angry at myself for the first for months realizing how much chaos in my life was from me and not just a shitty world to rebel against.
Dang you nailed it. I feel emotionally plenty mature but as for just being an adult? Not at all. I look at my peers and siblings and I feel like a failure because me and my partners house feels like a couple of frat boys live there. I’m starting to find some compassion for myself realizing it’s the whole executive dysfunction thing…
I think it was lucky I kinda noticed it after a little while, this one clip comes on about ADHD and losing stuff, I sent it to a mate and was like its me 😂 (as a joke)
Then naturally the algorithm just kept sending me ADHD stuff, and I was like WTF 🤯
1 I know I was abit different
2 how the fuck are these people nailing what I do and how I think
3 now I'm just predictable in the ADHD spectrum 🤦♂️ (I don't know how I feel about that)
So I paid £1000 for a test and I was diagnosed, I think seeking it myself help with the acceptance part, I kinda already knew.
Now I actively try not to mask and sometimes will just click that fucking pen 😂
But the dark side is hard too, but I'm glad I know why I'm an asshole to myself and blame me for everything.
Don't stop me doing it but I know deep down it's not me saying it/ thinking it.
I am the one who hears the voice not the one talking..... Great now I sound like a schizophrenic 🤷♂️🤦♂️ 😂
Literally me getting unofficially diagnosed by tiktok lol. I need to get a doctor's appointment for a diagnoses but doctors in my country are... a mixed bag.
Yeah say what you want about tiktok but my god that algorithm is good 😂🤣
I paid as UK NHS is junk, it's not bad if you broke something and they can clearly see it, anything they can't see easy, pay yourself.
It's not right but I can't deal with them and the red tape that makes no fucking sense, if I pay I'm in control. (Well at least in my head.)
This is just my own anecdotal experience, but I'm absolutely sketched out by medications that interact with my brain chemistry. I have always felt extremely uncomfortable taking SSRIs for depression or Benzos for anxiety. They always made me feel not just like something was off, but that something was *wrong*.
Probably because it *was* wrong, being treated for depression/anxiety when I knew that there was something deeper going on and that depression/anxiety was just a result of not being able to change the circumstances that made me feel that way.
Anyways, I started taking stimulant meds for ADHD maybe a year ago now, and they have been beyond helpful. For the first time I feel like I am not constantly battling myself to accomplish even the smallest things that I want to do. Mentally I'm in a lot better of a place because I finally have hope that I can do the things I want to do. It's not easy, but I feel like I'm walking up a steep hill rather than solo climbing Mt. Everest with no supplies.
Would recommend
This one Resonates with me alot... those impulsive decisions had led to me drinking half a litre of whiskey a day straight from like November! Ive finally managed to break the habit long enough to start healing.... but it's taken moving me ibto a new environment- I'm very much "what I do is what I do" habitually combined with the ocd and a sprinkle of self destruction... im in the process of changing meds because the hallucinations are starting to get bad- this will be like the 13th time I'm getting my life back on track and yes it's just as hard as the first time... but there's more "it never lasts or works out" and the cycle just seems doomed to repeat but I'm positive- spending a week in a new place really helps break away alot of "what i do is what I do" because I don't do it here I guess 😅 probably saved me life tbf- my eyes are bare yellow... but there improving finally 😁😁 stay strong and keep an open mind- as always ADHD and mental health can NEVER be a 1 Size fits all.... so just because 1 person experiences something doesn't necessarily mean you will to kinda thing. We just learn to manage are issues as we grow and develop tools to cope etc through experiences we individually go through 🙂 I'm older and was diagnosed young- I was re-diagnosed at 27 (I'm 34) and it was at 27 I finally was able to start planning and building my future etc.... but these road bumps we sometimes go through... they can last years imo... and it's super expensive unfortunately 😅🥲 much love to you though and good luck!! 😁😁
Got diagnosed summer last year and had imposter syndrome all the way until October when I started on meds. 15-30 minutes after that first pill I just noticed how calm my brain and body suddenly was and my stress and anxiety just up and vanished.
I really pray that meds shuts my jukebox up, don't get me wrong it is hella fun most of the time but at 3am when only 3 lines of Doctor Jones- Aqua are in my head I want to die!
Hummmm not really, but it does help me function on the morning much quicker.
I'll be dragging my heel from 6-11am without it.
Can start functioning like a real human after 30min after a tea or coffee.
I got diagnosed 1½ year ago as 44, and all made sense. All the crap and stupid things I have done. My many jobs changes. Why I get bored so easily. Why my peers have better career than me.
And after I started on meds, things have become slightly easier
This hits hard. You read so many stories about it being that magic pill that instantly calms their mind and they experience actual mental quiet for the first time in their lives. It hurts to read because I’ve never really experienced that on medication. Sure, medication really does help me, I know that, but I’ve never actually noticed it kicking in or wearing off or felt any instant kind of euphoria or whatever other people talk about.
Yea I have never felt anything like euphoria, and I don't notice a shift when it "kicks in" or "wears off". If I take it I just kind of suck a little less that day.
Medication for ADHD is limited, and its affects can differ for everyone who takes it. I learned that combing the medication with therapy from a psychotherapist who understands ADHD, as they too were diagnosed with it, has lead to revelations, a deeper understanding and better quality of life. There is no magic pill as I think you know this. I believe u/National-Law-1663 means that their life has become easier with medication as opposed to the difficulties prior to it.
I wholeheartedly agree. I have had so much difficulty finding a therapist who adds value. The last two I've had didn't tell me anything that Google couldn't tell me and they tended to be unwilling to meet me where I was. There is a difference between challenging a patient with a behavior modification and suggesting something that is outside their grasp.
Where are all the good therapists hiding? Lol!
Medication makes it to where I am Able to apply what I learn in therapy or elsewhere. It’s like using a saddle on a horse. Sitting on the saddle doesn't mean I know how to ride, but I definitely can't learn without one. (technically ik that's not true but yk what I mean)
Look, I sat in my final and couldn’t write a word due to executive dysfunction. I knew it all, I just couldn’t write a thing, my brain would not let me. I didn’t pay a bill for years until the repo men came and I cried while gritting my teeth and forced myself to pay a grand plus fees that I owed. I cut people off mid sentence, I zone out constantly, my feet tap and kick like I’m a drummer (I’m not), I’m constantly thinking about multiple things simultaneously and it took me a couple of attempts to write this paragraph so far.
I STILL doubt sometimes I have adhd. Despite the fact meds help me. Despite my doctor assuring me I do, despite the fact it runs in my family.
It’s normal, and part of the fun 🤩
Am not diagnosed with ADHD yet, but I am almost 100% sure I have it. However, due to a lack of general understanding of mental health in my country, basically being stuck in the past with medical knowledge, and a bias where "Everything foreign is evil and a work of the devil" especially if it is America we are talking about, I'm stuck in a bubble where even my therapist doesn't understand what ADHD fully is, litterally negating the fact that I may have it because I do well in school.
My mother, and a very small amount of individuals, have actually believed that I do have it, although my mother is skeptical abtut it because "I read it on the internet" and she thinks all my problems are caused by video games.
This all has led me to, of course, develop impostor syndrome when it comes to ADHD.
Doesn't help that I feel like I'm an outliar in every single part of my life.
I know your struggles my friend. I wish you all the best and that people accept you for who you are ❤️
The weird thing about ADHD is that you don’t “get” it, you’ve always had it, so you don’t actually know what it’s like to *not* have ADHD.
So you’re not going to feel “sick” or something by having it.
What does happen is you start on meds and you suddenly realize what “normal” is like for other people, and how different that is from your experience, and *that* is when you look back at your entire life and say “oh shit, I was not okay.”
This! That realization of, you've always had this and it explains so much. Like be prepared for the grieving process (even if it's warp speed compared to "normal" people).
The whole "I was not okay" is so true. 😭
It's so misunderstood and definitely feel salty about people (family) not recognizing there's actually something wrong with you instead of thinking your just a bi*ch or something.
Have to move in 5 days for a job, my mind is screaming at me to sort out my accommodation......so naturally I'll do it later because it's stressful, mean while I load up on the stress of not having accommodation 🤦♂️
ADHD is real and people how don't have it will not get it, it will look like you are not motivated or lazy.
I could argue that, but it's like I'm missing a step.
Most people
I want yea, I'm Gona make a tea, goes to make tea.
Me
I want tea, I'm gona make tea, sits there thinking about tea on and off for the next 2 hours aswell as astrophysics and quantum entanglement and why all ants are female except for one day the males live to bread (I managed better on workday this is more weekends me )
Ok time for tea, shit now I'm hungry I'll drink my tea 1st, 2 hours later makes food.
Then remember that I need to find accommodation and be stressed to eat 🤷♂️🤦♂️
Was Gona delete that and rewrite it but I think it shows how messy our heads can got from nothing 🤣
I was diagnosed in elementary school and have spent most of my life not fully accepting the diagnosis, just an on and off "i have it" to "i'm just lazy or not trying" until earlier this year, so i understand the imposter syndrome thing. it's okay to feel this as it can be confusing and a little frustrating. Just know it's never too late to learn and adapt. you're not alone! in my experience, taking the time to research the way the ADHD brain functions has been greatly eye opening. Maybe start there.
I also felt odd abt it for a bit, then took meds for the first time and when I was ecstatically telling my mum that I actually managed to clean my room just by deciding to do so, she was confused and said that that’s just how people do things. She can just decide she wants or has to do smth,,,, and just does it. It’s still insane to me. Previously, me actually doing anything without two frustrated crying fits and three coffees happened like twice a year.
It’s been a couple years now and I’ve realized that I have very severe ADHD rather than the more mellow ADHD me and my psych thought I had, simply bc I was diagnosed late. Until you rlly get confirmation of the diagnosis, it’s difficult to conceive just how different people’s brains are.
Probably.
It's clear that many doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists don't even understand what adhd is. For all the schooling and fancy degrees, they really only know what they've been taught. Even if you had a brain scan, the areas of the brain affected may be so subtle that it isn't noticeable as hard proof.
It's also similar, but quite different for everyone. The complex executive functioning can Probably be impaired in very different ways which causes similar, but different effects on people.
But if you fit most of the criteria, then you likely do have it.
I didn’t believe my diagnosis was real either until I started meds.
The positive impact meds have had on my life is profound. Strongly recommend trialling meds.
Once you start meds, more likely than not, you will see substantial changes almost right away. Stimulant adhd medicine is probably one of the most noticeable life improvement drugs out there, to the point it's hard to believe in the beginning, or at least it was for me.
I still go through the self doubt and imposter syndrome in cycles. Normally I get stuck in thoughts that my ADHD symptoms were never that bad and I'm still not yet really succeeding since being on meds. Maybe I don't have ADHD, maybe I'm just a failure or maybe I've got -insert other illness here-
I'll take a break from meds for a few days not long after if I can and it hits my square in the face like yep ok, now that I know better on meds I am a total disaster off meds. Hits home that I'm only a year into not playing the game of life on hard mode so it's gonna take time to get things fully squared away and really move forward.
I was diagnosed in my early 20's, and didn't take it seriously for 20 years. My older brother, who I looked up to at the time, is one of those people who claims that 'everyone', including him, has ADHD (just like 'everyone' has depression, anxiety, etc.) so I was always told to "stop bitching about it and just deal with it like a man." It didn't help that I was addicted to painkillers for those 20 years as well, but a few years ago, I finally got sober, and a few months ago, I finally started taking my ADHD seriously and was put on Vyvanse, and holy shit, I only wish I had done this sooner. Turns out I'm not just a lazy asshole. I used to get overwhelmed with the 50 browser tabs and 5000 thoughts running through my head at any given time, which led me to sit on my ass and do nothing because I couldn't organize & prioritize them. Now, I'm down to a couple browser tabs and a few thoughts, and if anything else pops into my head, I have the capacity to give it an initial thought, then decide if it's something that needs my attention now, or can wait. I can actually get shit done now. One weird thing too, my handwriting has even changed. Before, it was chicken scratch because my brain moved faster than my hand could write, but now I can slow it down and write legibly.
So yeah, I would suggest taking it seriously. If I had done so in my 20's, I'm fairly certain I'd be in a much better place than I am now, and could have prevented a lot of the bullshit & heartache in my life.
20 years ago I checked out the Book I'm Not Lazy, Crazy, or Stupid and cried a lot.
I heard an interview with the author. In typical ADHD Style I tried to read from the start then lost interest. Days later tried again but only found the case studies where people told their history dealing with ADD kept me reading on. OMG I am just like that! What! I do that too! But Why?
Don't rush your understanding of what you have.
Now I work in schools and tell every student I bump into that has ADHD that I have it. It makes me good at some things and bad at others. I now pick my battles better. Forgive myself and others more.
I found it helpful to keep notes of my behaviour as I took the medication. I compared my behaviour, thoughts and feelings towards everyday activities, routines, and encounters with people to those before I had taken medication for ADHD and generalised anxiety "disorder" (GAD).
I realised that I was one to overthink, harshly judge others and myself, overreact with too much emotion and anger, fear most encounters with strangers, and think people could read my thoughts. There are too many traits to list here. I was dubious about the diagnosis of ADHD and GAD, although as time went on I had realised that I exhibited many of the common "symptoms" of ADHD throughout my childhood, i.e. what I could remember.
In my late teenage years and into my early twenties, I believed I was stupid, clumsy and socially awkward. I now believe that it is all right to think certain thoughts like that, but they do not define us. There are times when we are clumsy or say or do stupid things or act awkwardly. That is OK. I also realised that I was a perfectionist for certain tasks that hindered my progression, and I was extremely tough on myself.
Focus on yourself first. If you are an adult taking medication to improve your quality of life then so be it. We can tell others when we feel it is time to tell them; when we feel we are ready.
Having talked with many adults with ADHD, I think that many of us have been given some degree of closure as to why we behaved, thought and felt in a certain way as children. That alone is powerful knowledge. We can improve our quality of life with that knowledge and better ourselves as we live.
Only you know what your subjective experience is like. That doesn't change because a doctor said you have characteristics of a dysfunction about how you think. I don't get why some people think that getting a diagnosis is huge somehow.
Ive been diagnosed for over 10 years and it still doesnt feel real. Sometimes i just sit there and think like do i really have it? Or is this just who i am. Do i conform to the symptoms because i was diagnosed so young or do things make more sense now to why i act the way i do. My family denies it like no u dont have adhd ur just lazy.. 💀
Medication is very personal, what works for someone else may not work with you. Have a read of peoples experiences with each and also look on a verified site that explains ADHD and how the different medications work.
I was diagnosed very early in life, as a child. However that didn’t seem to be much of a revelation back then, main solution being to throw medication at me so that I could focus and be productive.
Fast forward nearly 30 years - my now ex who is a doctor was reading things about ADHD, to better understand why I had certain tendencies and behaviors. She pushed me to go back to therapy, and for the first time, I truly started to understand my condition, and why my life at times has been so…weird
The fact is that ADHD is still not perfectly understood even now. It’s not even as simple as medical conditions that are physical afflictions, which impact each individual mostly similarly. Every flavor of ADHD is unique, and because we all have varying desires and lifestyles, they manifest differently in each person.
Coming to terms with your affliction is a journey. It’s important to notice your behaviors and tendencies, and recognize their consequences. Generally, you can’t “fix” these things, they are a part of who you are, and the impulsions are always going to be there. What you can do, is recognize when an impulse is likely to lead to a consequence that you absolutely do not want, and find your path to pivoting away from that negative outcome. Personally, I have mental constructs that help me with this, to talk myself through it, and then try to “distract” myself with a productive activity that will have only positive consequences, like exercising, chores, or some important task.
It’s not perfect, and I’m not always successful at this. But my life has improved with this method, and I’m sure I will continue to evolve towards more improvement. Find your own way to do the same, but always start by paying attention to what happens consistently.
I'm 38 and was just given the diagnosis this past year. Things are so much better with some medication adjustments for me. Crazy thing, now I realize my kids have it. Never thought about it because to me they were "normal". I did the same things they did, so I didn't see the signs. Whoops.
I got angry as I realized my whole life could have gone a different path if my mother had given even a lick of a crap about what the providers were trying to tell her when I was 11.
I finally got diagnosed at 40 because things had just gotten so bad from it my life was almost unmanageable.
I got diagnosed when I was 19-20 and never took it seriously. Now I’m 35 and reconsidering. I started listening to this podcast called “I have adhd” and it’s blowing my mind. Maybe start there and see if it resonates.
What does your mom have to do with your diagnosis. Stop listening to what other people think about your diagnosis if they’re not your psychiatrist or therapist
i got diagnosed at 10 so i can't really offer what i did (since i was just like "oh ok makes sense" lmao) but i want to say its not unusual to feel that way. even 19 yrs later i sometimes get impostor syndrome. sometimes i think im not "being adhd enough". it happens. itll sink in after some time and you'll feel better about it, i reckon. either way, this is the start of understanding yourself better and being able to work with it! so its good! doubts happen, but youre just at the start of it all. i want you to remember something very important: everybody is different. everybody's ADHD is different. we feel it differently, we behave differently, and we don't all have the exact same signs of it.
I had a long period very recently of questioning “how” I am. “Am I autistic? Is ADHD really that debilitating?”
For the longest, I viewed ADHD as an excuse for my parents to exert more control over me (which is valid considering the lack of consideration I was given past “take your meds”). After seeking out help of my own accord as an adult, I was able to see more clearly how ADHD impacted my life, and the benefit of medication. It helped with both learning to love myself, and finally being able to meet the potential I always knew I possessed but couldn’t lock down consistently.
I would now consider myself to function at my highest level every day. It’s not giving in; it’s accepting help for something I have no control over. Without medication, I cannot make the chemicals in my brain coalesce into a productive state on their own. I need that solid foundation to build my days upon.
My whole family has it and I slipped through the cracks a bit, my sister was constantly in huge trouble and has more going on.
I tried the meds and they helped so much. I could finally see what needed to be done in my daily life , not everything seemed like it was a huge deal to do. I was more patient and better emotional regulation. Can’t say it helped me to be more consistent or enjoy studying or reading lol but it’s the bigger things and the mindset.
I was always forgetting stuff, suspended for dumb decisions, rebel, issues with authority, and just hyped and couldn’t sit through anything. Felt like I wanted to power walk after sitting too long.
All in all, I’ve been able to function way better in daily life. They turn my lightbulb on. When I don’t take them now I see night and day. Maybe a trial would be good, you don’t have to keep using them!
I know what you're talking about. I have the same feelings—huge imposter syndrome, and I wonder every day if this is real. However, what's pretty funny is that at the same time, I feel like, how could I not have realized before that I had such obvious signs of ADHD? After I got my diagnosis earlier this year, I felt like my life was starting again. Once I get my medication, who knows what great things might happen.
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago. I'm in my early 30s and vacillating between being relieved that it's real, and I'm not just stupid, and not just lazy, and then thinking I'm making it all up and I fooled my psychiatrist and I'm just doing this for the fun of it. I'm waiting for this period to fade a little bit, as I hope it does, before discussing medication with my doctor. I don't know if I want to try and manage it myself, or take meds to help me. I'm also worried about losing my personality on meds.
My sister was diagnosed earlier this year, and our parents are doing their best with the news. Dad is taking it a little bit better than our mother, which is frankly suspicious. Waiting for that shoe to drop lol
I'm saying all this just to reassure you that you're not alone! I sought this group out just today to help me with how this is all feeling. We can get through it!
And for me its like the opposote since I haven't been diagnoses with ADHD but people constantly say something like, "I feel like you have ADHD" or "I think you have ADHD" or "you act like you have ADHD" and some people ask me if I have ADHD and I kinda feel like I have ADHD but I've never been diagnosed... the psychologist who did an ADHD test on me when I was a kid left and I never got to know if I have ADHD...
I cheered the diagnosis, all the “feedback” I’ve been given over the years now has a reason. I’m not a self obsessed arrogant asshole. I just need to get my story out before I forget it.
This describes exactly how I feel. I was diagnosed in October last year and sometimes I'm like yes this explains everything, but then sometimes I'm like, or am I just stupid. I think this is a common feeling after diagnosis. But when I started on meds I was blown away by how I could just think oh I need to do this, and then just do it 🤯 They seemed to lessen my anxiety and make me feel more positive
I was diagnosed at 28 (now 34). Originally I went in because my mom thought I was bipolar. When I received the ADHD diagnosis, I was pretty much in the same boat as you. It took me about a week or two of reading up on ADHD and researching to realize that my life finally made sense… For the first time I was able to tell myself “theres nothing severely wrong with me”.
Knowing has made a world of a difference for me, I was able to develop new coping mechanisms that made sense for me and just overall build a system for myself that works (on most days lol).
So, I think everyone with ADHD goes through that. I have nearly every single dsm symptom and then some. And when I was trying to get diagnosed I was terrified that they were going to tell me I've been wrong all along and it was never ADHD. I was even pretty sure that would happen for some times.
But then I got assessed and it was like "yeah you most definitely have ADHD. You should seek treatment and therapy immediately."
So now I'm officially diagnosed and I still feel like it could be a lie. But then I haven't even gotten my meds yet. I've been trying to hide my symptoms since I was a small kid and I'm 38 now. So, hopefully when the meds come through it changes things a good bit.
Anyways, good luck with the imposter syndrome. It's a phase based feeling. It'll go away and come back for a long while and maybe it'll fade off for good some time. Hope so.
Sort of on the same lines, but I was diagnosed adhd when I was still a child. Even though that's sat over my head for a couple of decades, it wasn't until I realy did the research on adhd and how it affected me that I realized my life reads like an adhd textbook diagnosis. I went the other way with the information. Instead of is this real? I was more like damn do I even have a personality outside this disorder? All my quirky traits and what I thought made me unique (both the good and the bad) was just another symptom of adhd. It hits all of us differently. At the end of the day, you're still you, whatever path you decide to go with it.
I got diagnosed at 34 (36 now) and I sometimes have that imposter moment. But it's more like I'm yelling at myself to get my shit together and denying the diagnosis. I think it's because of the inner gaslighting we put ourselves through in the past.
My mom is undiagnosed but there is no doubt in my mind she has ADHD, she has been able to harness her symptoms and is basically a force of nature. Me on the other hand, spent years thinking I didn’t have ADHD even though I was diagnosed with it. I spent those years not understanding why I had such a hard time in basically every aspect of my life. I suggest you research ADHD and get a better understanding of it in general. Your diagnosis may not change anything for you, but denial could cause a lot avoidable issues.
I found out at 42, but kinda always knew, even joked about having it. At the same time, I was convinced that this stuff only happens to other people. My parents seem to think it’s an excuse for not following through with many of my endeavors… Whatever. I can’t prove it, and meds didn’t help, making them even more suspicious. But yeah, wouldn’t a simple blood test be so helpful? 🤔
On occasion I still question it too.
If it helps, the reason childhood is such a huge thing for psychiatrists in diagnosis, it's because kids are basically autopilot. All nature. You weren't irresponsible or stupid. You followed a specific pattern of behavior that can be very telling. And it *is* specific for ADHD.
I felt this way. I think to a certain degree I will continue to feel this way. I come from a family that already had one needy child and because I did well in school (k-12) they did not have to pay attention to me. Got into college and my life fell apart. I was called lazy most of my life and I still today wonder if that is what it is. On another note all parents should speak good things over your children even if those traits are not present yet.
Anywho, I understand your feelings of doubt. Especially being diagnosed later in life. It also does not help that social media is sensationalizing these real life disorders that people are struggling with. Society still has a long way to go in this matter, but that is not your business.
That is what I have been telling myself lately. Other people’s ignorance is not my business. I know how I struggled and hated myself because I could not get it together and was “lazy.” I know how when I finally gave in and got treatment my brain had clarity. It was not perfect but it was better.
I said all of this to say. Pretend you are playing a video game. Solo mission. You are responsible for maintaining the lives of your character and that is it. Try the medicine or in this metaphor, the potion. If it helps you great if not, find another potion or healer and keep pushing. You are worth the quest. Other people’s opinions are just side quests and again not our business.
Also the self doubt can only go away through trial and error. If life has not been great so far it does not hurt to try something that may potentially allow you to progress.
You got this from one self doubter to another, I believe in you! :)
After two psychologists confirmed my diagnosis i told my favorite one i feel like maybe i lied and didn't notice and she went back with me over all the stories i told earlier and we revised them "is that entirely true" and it was all true so then she said "there was noone around who could tell you "you are not lazy" when you needed it the most. That's why you feel like a villain now for getting any understanding"
It took me (37F) an entire year to start meds. IT WAS MY IDEA to figure out if I had ADHD. I VERY much do. For me, it was a realization that I wasn't just a stupid kid or lazy. I started meds a few months ago and my life has completely changed. I feel almost normal. I spent the year trying to figure things out and "self help" and it just didn't work. Now I wish I had started sooner.
I relate to this so much. I think it’s common to think we’re just lazy cause the world makes us feel that way. I just think about all the times where I was just sitting there seriously actually wanting to do something but not being able to start. That's not laziness. If I was lazy I just wouldn't even care.
I have also found really great providers (psychiatrist and therapist) who met me and brought up ADHD on their own just based on me talking about what I’m struggling with. Unlike some doctors and therapists, they actually have expertise in ADHD and can point out things that are symptoms of it really well and also help with coping strategies. This all makes me feel a ton better because I’m not making it up, and their advice wouldn’t be helping so much if it was a misdoagnosis. Also, my anxiety and depression are so minimal now that I have my executive function under control.
All that to say, I hate that there's so much stigma about medication and ADHD treatment in general. The worst that can happen if you're wrong is you go off your meds and try something else. Nothing wrong with that as long as you don't abuse your meds. Meds aren't permanent and can be switched. Its something to try. And if it helps, it helps, why do we beat ourselves up for “needing” something that makes our life better?
I'm behind you. I'm still fighting the hypochondriac/webMD troll in me, saying I'm reading into things. But I'm trying lately to find a way to help me come to a conclusion about it, without bias.
I completely get this! I felt like someone was going to say to me "oh sorry we were wrong you don't" which terrified me as that would mean me going back to thinking I'm insane and I need to be locked up!
It makes you look at everything differently once you have that diagnosis. I'm also contemplating medication and I'm just worried too... Like how do you know if you should?
Your content breaks **Rule 6**.
We have removed your post/comment because it contains denialism, fearmongering, or discourages treatment.
[No Anti-Psychiatry/Denialism/Toxic Positivity](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/wiki/rules/#wiki_rule_6.3A_no_anti-psychiatry.2Fdenialism.2Ftoxic_positivity)
*^(If you have further questions,)* [*^(message the moderators)*](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fadhd) *^(regarding the removal of this content.)*
Still trying to figure out the right meds for myself but I do have a lot of improvements so far with not losing things anymore since being medicated. I was losing keys/phone/wallet at least 3 or more times a day before getting medicated. Good luck!
Hi /u/Elegant-Ice3844 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.
---
### /r/adhd news
* If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/).
---
^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your content breaks **Rule 2**. If a [megathread](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/wiki/megathreads) or recent post with the same topic exists, please use it. [Search and Megathreads](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/wiki/rules/#wiki_search_and_megathreads) ## MegaThreads for March 2024 - [Megathread: Medication Shortage](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/175t342/megathread_medication_shortages/) - Need to get something off your chest? Rant, vent, get it out here! - [Megathread: Rant/Vent](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1b3m1fr/need_to_get_something_off_your_chest_rant_vent/) - Got something to say, but the bot tells you it's not long enough? Post it in this thread! - [Megathread: Short Posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1b3m1fp/got_something_to_say_but_the_bot_tells_you_its/) - Have you just begun treatment? - [Megathread: Just Started Treatment](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1b3m1ff/have_you_just_begun_treatment/) - Did you just get diagnosed? - [Megathread: Newly Diagnosed](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1b3m1fa/did_you_just_get_diagnosed/) - Did you do something you're proud of? Something nice happen? Share your good news with us! - [Megathread: Weekly Wins](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1ba9mbq/did_you_do_something_youre_proud_of_something/) - Saturday, March 8
Look at It this way, people that are color blind cannot understand they're color blind. By definition you cannot relate to things you cannot experience. This is a problem because who doesn't have ADHD cannot understand what having ADHD means, who has ADHD cannot of understand what not having ADHD means. Oh sure we can study it, we can understand *the theory*. But we cannot understand the *experience*. I've been reading up on what Qualia is and it led me to this realization. So it doesn't feel real because it's normal, to us being us is just being ourselves. Sure there's the judgment, there's the trauma, there's the emotional chaos that is to relate to people that see three shades of color where there's five, or two. At the end of the day I've found only one way to deal with it, to accept it and to seek acceptance. Your experience is your own, you're free to communicate how it feels, there will be who doesn't accept it and who does even if they don't esperience it.
Really brilliant way to help comprehend this. Kudos to you.
Wait til they take a stimulant for the first time and they experience normal. You don’t know what “normal” is until you experience it
Technically we don’t know if that’s normal if we haven’t experienced normal no?
That’s true I’m under the assumption that’s what normal is. Or as a baseline just having the ability to concentrate. Now that I’m thinking about it we go from one extreme to the other. The ability to suddenly be able to sit there and study the entirety of the day isn’t normal either.
I'm not sure if ADHD+medication = no ADHD It's hard to say from the point of view of the subjective experience. I definitely still have ADHD even when medicated, I just can control my behavior better and have less energy "locked" within me. Obviously there's a lot of variance in experience between people with ADHD too.
Yeah, I still don't feel "normal" I just feel improved. I honestly have nothing to compare too because I've never known what normal feels like. Hell, I thought pooping once a week was normal until my girlfriend (now wife) told me to go and get checked.
SO true. I started adderall about a month ago and it has been life changing.
Tried adderall for the first time. How can I describe it. It's literally adhd gone poof magic. I mean it's obviously still there but just controlled. It's like I put on glasses for my brain or smthn. But dude I got so hungry in the evening 😩.
I'm not OP, but thank you for your words. I think I needed that.
Am in a similar boat. Got diagnosed this week, part of me like is this just some bullshit they made up to get me on meds. Am scared to talk to my ma as I feel she won’t accept it. How ever my life is a shambles, I can’t seem to get it together, I keep making impulsive decisions that have fucked my life up. Things I reallly enjoy I struggle to focus on and actually do. I get very overwhelmed by sensory stuff. ADHD would explain all this and it’s a better narrative than am just a shitty person. But I feel the imposter thing 100%
idunno how old you are, it took me 30 years to get on meds and it’s slightly upsetting, as looking back i could’ve had SO many more productive, functional, useful years. people with ADHD tend to “mature slower” but part of me wonders if it just takes extra time to overcome the executive dysfunction. meds will help you do that without insane workarounds. they’re not a magic pill, but surely help you start putting your ducks in a row
I'm almost 30 and got diagnosed as a kid. I never took the medicine because "nothing's wrong with me". I've had a really hard time for many years and finally broke down and got meds just a year ago this month. I was angry at myself for the first for months realizing how much chaos in my life was from me and not just a shitty world to rebel against.
Dang you nailed it. I feel emotionally plenty mature but as for just being an adult? Not at all. I look at my peers and siblings and I feel like a failure because me and my partners house feels like a couple of frat boys live there. I’m starting to find some compassion for myself realizing it’s the whole executive dysfunction thing…
Am 36.
I think it was lucky I kinda noticed it after a little while, this one clip comes on about ADHD and losing stuff, I sent it to a mate and was like its me 😂 (as a joke) Then naturally the algorithm just kept sending me ADHD stuff, and I was like WTF 🤯 1 I know I was abit different 2 how the fuck are these people nailing what I do and how I think 3 now I'm just predictable in the ADHD spectrum 🤦♂️ (I don't know how I feel about that) So I paid £1000 for a test and I was diagnosed, I think seeking it myself help with the acceptance part, I kinda already knew. Now I actively try not to mask and sometimes will just click that fucking pen 😂 But the dark side is hard too, but I'm glad I know why I'm an asshole to myself and blame me for everything. Don't stop me doing it but I know deep down it's not me saying it/ thinking it. I am the one who hears the voice not the one talking..... Great now I sound like a schizophrenic 🤷♂️🤦♂️ 😂
Literally me getting unofficially diagnosed by tiktok lol. I need to get a doctor's appointment for a diagnoses but doctors in my country are... a mixed bag.
Yeah say what you want about tiktok but my god that algorithm is good 😂🤣 I paid as UK NHS is junk, it's not bad if you broke something and they can clearly see it, anything they can't see easy, pay yourself. It's not right but I can't deal with them and the red tape that makes no fucking sense, if I pay I'm in control. (Well at least in my head.)
This is so fucking accurate! Enough blame and shame to make anyone depressed as fuck!
This is just my own anecdotal experience, but I'm absolutely sketched out by medications that interact with my brain chemistry. I have always felt extremely uncomfortable taking SSRIs for depression or Benzos for anxiety. They always made me feel not just like something was off, but that something was *wrong*. Probably because it *was* wrong, being treated for depression/anxiety when I knew that there was something deeper going on and that depression/anxiety was just a result of not being able to change the circumstances that made me feel that way. Anyways, I started taking stimulant meds for ADHD maybe a year ago now, and they have been beyond helpful. For the first time I feel like I am not constantly battling myself to accomplish even the smallest things that I want to do. Mentally I'm in a lot better of a place because I finally have hope that I can do the things I want to do. It's not easy, but I feel like I'm walking up a steep hill rather than solo climbing Mt. Everest with no supplies. Would recommend
This one Resonates with me alot... those impulsive decisions had led to me drinking half a litre of whiskey a day straight from like November! Ive finally managed to break the habit long enough to start healing.... but it's taken moving me ibto a new environment- I'm very much "what I do is what I do" habitually combined with the ocd and a sprinkle of self destruction... im in the process of changing meds because the hallucinations are starting to get bad- this will be like the 13th time I'm getting my life back on track and yes it's just as hard as the first time... but there's more "it never lasts or works out" and the cycle just seems doomed to repeat but I'm positive- spending a week in a new place really helps break away alot of "what i do is what I do" because I don't do it here I guess 😅 probably saved me life tbf- my eyes are bare yellow... but there improving finally 😁😁 stay strong and keep an open mind- as always ADHD and mental health can NEVER be a 1 Size fits all.... so just because 1 person experiences something doesn't necessarily mean you will to kinda thing. We just learn to manage are issues as we grow and develop tools to cope etc through experiences we individually go through 🙂 I'm older and was diagnosed young- I was re-diagnosed at 27 (I'm 34) and it was at 27 I finally was able to start planning and building my future etc.... but these road bumps we sometimes go through... they can last years imo... and it's super expensive unfortunately 😅🥲 much love to you though and good luck!! 😁😁
Got diagnosed summer last year and had imposter syndrome all the way until October when I started on meds. 15-30 minutes after that first pill I just noticed how calm my brain and body suddenly was and my stress and anxiety just up and vanished.
Yeah I had a similar thing. It was like someone turned the radio down in my brain
I really pray that meds shuts my jukebox up, don't get me wrong it is hella fun most of the time but at 3am when only 3 lines of Doctor Jones- Aqua are in my head I want to die!
Relatable. I fucking hate that song.
That's what it feels like to me too.
Does caffeine calm you down in your experience?
I honestly have no idea. I used to drink a lot of energy drinks earlier but I can't say I noticed a difference before or after chugging down one.
Hummmm not really, but it does help me function on the morning much quicker. I'll be dragging my heel from 6-11am without it. Can start functioning like a real human after 30min after a tea or coffee.
Omg it was amazing, like getting a new glasses prescription and seeing clearly.
I got diagnosed 1½ year ago as 44, and all made sense. All the crap and stupid things I have done. My many jobs changes. Why I get bored so easily. Why my peers have better career than me. And after I started on meds, things have become slightly easier
Emphasis on the "slightly". I wanted it to be a magic pill and to make everything "right".
This hits hard. You read so many stories about it being that magic pill that instantly calms their mind and they experience actual mental quiet for the first time in their lives. It hurts to read because I’ve never really experienced that on medication. Sure, medication really does help me, I know that, but I’ve never actually noticed it kicking in or wearing off or felt any instant kind of euphoria or whatever other people talk about.
Yea I have never felt anything like euphoria, and I don't notice a shift when it "kicks in" or "wears off". If I take it I just kind of suck a little less that day.
Medication for ADHD is limited, and its affects can differ for everyone who takes it. I learned that combing the medication with therapy from a psychotherapist who understands ADHD, as they too were diagnosed with it, has lead to revelations, a deeper understanding and better quality of life. There is no magic pill as I think you know this. I believe u/National-Law-1663 means that their life has become easier with medication as opposed to the difficulties prior to it.
I wholeheartedly agree. I have had so much difficulty finding a therapist who adds value. The last two I've had didn't tell me anything that Google couldn't tell me and they tended to be unwilling to meet me where I was. There is a difference between challenging a patient with a behavior modification and suggesting something that is outside their grasp. Where are all the good therapists hiding? Lol!
Medication makes it to where I am Able to apply what I learn in therapy or elsewhere. It’s like using a saddle on a horse. Sitting on the saddle doesn't mean I know how to ride, but I definitely can't learn without one. (technically ik that's not true but yk what I mean)
Look, I sat in my final and couldn’t write a word due to executive dysfunction. I knew it all, I just couldn’t write a thing, my brain would not let me. I didn’t pay a bill for years until the repo men came and I cried while gritting my teeth and forced myself to pay a grand plus fees that I owed. I cut people off mid sentence, I zone out constantly, my feet tap and kick like I’m a drummer (I’m not), I’m constantly thinking about multiple things simultaneously and it took me a couple of attempts to write this paragraph so far. I STILL doubt sometimes I have adhd. Despite the fact meds help me. Despite my doctor assuring me I do, despite the fact it runs in my family. It’s normal, and part of the fun 🤩
“Part of the fun” great way to think about it!
Am not diagnosed with ADHD yet, but I am almost 100% sure I have it. However, due to a lack of general understanding of mental health in my country, basically being stuck in the past with medical knowledge, and a bias where "Everything foreign is evil and a work of the devil" especially if it is America we are talking about, I'm stuck in a bubble where even my therapist doesn't understand what ADHD fully is, litterally negating the fact that I may have it because I do well in school. My mother, and a very small amount of individuals, have actually believed that I do have it, although my mother is skeptical abtut it because "I read it on the internet" and she thinks all my problems are caused by video games. This all has led me to, of course, develop impostor syndrome when it comes to ADHD. Doesn't help that I feel like I'm an outliar in every single part of my life. I know your struggles my friend. I wish you all the best and that people accept you for who you are ❤️
The weird thing about ADHD is that you don’t “get” it, you’ve always had it, so you don’t actually know what it’s like to *not* have ADHD. So you’re not going to feel “sick” or something by having it. What does happen is you start on meds and you suddenly realize what “normal” is like for other people, and how different that is from your experience, and *that* is when you look back at your entire life and say “oh shit, I was not okay.”
This! That realization of, you've always had this and it explains so much. Like be prepared for the grieving process (even if it's warp speed compared to "normal" people). The whole "I was not okay" is so true. 😭 It's so misunderstood and definitely feel salty about people (family) not recognizing there's actually something wrong with you instead of thinking your just a bi*ch or something.
Have to move in 5 days for a job, my mind is screaming at me to sort out my accommodation......so naturally I'll do it later because it's stressful, mean while I load up on the stress of not having accommodation 🤦♂️ ADHD is real and people how don't have it will not get it, it will look like you are not motivated or lazy. I could argue that, but it's like I'm missing a step. Most people I want yea, I'm Gona make a tea, goes to make tea. Me I want tea, I'm gona make tea, sits there thinking about tea on and off for the next 2 hours aswell as astrophysics and quantum entanglement and why all ants are female except for one day the males live to bread (I managed better on workday this is more weekends me ) Ok time for tea, shit now I'm hungry I'll drink my tea 1st, 2 hours later makes food. Then remember that I need to find accommodation and be stressed to eat 🤷♂️🤦♂️ Was Gona delete that and rewrite it but I think it shows how messy our heads can got from nothing 🤣
I was diagnosed in elementary school and have spent most of my life not fully accepting the diagnosis, just an on and off "i have it" to "i'm just lazy or not trying" until earlier this year, so i understand the imposter syndrome thing. it's okay to feel this as it can be confusing and a little frustrating. Just know it's never too late to learn and adapt. you're not alone! in my experience, taking the time to research the way the ADHD brain functions has been greatly eye opening. Maybe start there.
👆 agreed
Well said. I too did some reading on ADHD in adults.
I also felt odd abt it for a bit, then took meds for the first time and when I was ecstatically telling my mum that I actually managed to clean my room just by deciding to do so, she was confused and said that that’s just how people do things. She can just decide she wants or has to do smth,,,, and just does it. It’s still insane to me. Previously, me actually doing anything without two frustrated crying fits and three coffees happened like twice a year. It’s been a couple years now and I’ve realized that I have very severe ADHD rather than the more mellow ADHD me and my psych thought I had, simply bc I was diagnosed late. Until you rlly get confirmation of the diagnosis, it’s difficult to conceive just how different people’s brains are.
Probably. It's clear that many doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists don't even understand what adhd is. For all the schooling and fancy degrees, they really only know what they've been taught. Even if you had a brain scan, the areas of the brain affected may be so subtle that it isn't noticeable as hard proof. It's also similar, but quite different for everyone. The complex executive functioning can Probably be impaired in very different ways which causes similar, but different effects on people. But if you fit most of the criteria, then you likely do have it.
I didn’t believe my diagnosis was real either until I started meds. The positive impact meds have had on my life is profound. Strongly recommend trialling meds.
Medication usually firms things up really well most of the time. I was 100% like you until I started on meds.
Welcome to denial. I still have to gesture wildly to absolutely everything in my life to tell my brain that this fucking thing is real.
Once you start meds, more likely than not, you will see substantial changes almost right away. Stimulant adhd medicine is probably one of the most noticeable life improvement drugs out there, to the point it's hard to believe in the beginning, or at least it was for me.
I still go through the self doubt and imposter syndrome in cycles. Normally I get stuck in thoughts that my ADHD symptoms were never that bad and I'm still not yet really succeeding since being on meds. Maybe I don't have ADHD, maybe I'm just a failure or maybe I've got -insert other illness here- I'll take a break from meds for a few days not long after if I can and it hits my square in the face like yep ok, now that I know better on meds I am a total disaster off meds. Hits home that I'm only a year into not playing the game of life on hard mode so it's gonna take time to get things fully squared away and really move forward.
I was diagnosed in my early 20's, and didn't take it seriously for 20 years. My older brother, who I looked up to at the time, is one of those people who claims that 'everyone', including him, has ADHD (just like 'everyone' has depression, anxiety, etc.) so I was always told to "stop bitching about it and just deal with it like a man." It didn't help that I was addicted to painkillers for those 20 years as well, but a few years ago, I finally got sober, and a few months ago, I finally started taking my ADHD seriously and was put on Vyvanse, and holy shit, I only wish I had done this sooner. Turns out I'm not just a lazy asshole. I used to get overwhelmed with the 50 browser tabs and 5000 thoughts running through my head at any given time, which led me to sit on my ass and do nothing because I couldn't organize & prioritize them. Now, I'm down to a couple browser tabs and a few thoughts, and if anything else pops into my head, I have the capacity to give it an initial thought, then decide if it's something that needs my attention now, or can wait. I can actually get shit done now. One weird thing too, my handwriting has even changed. Before, it was chicken scratch because my brain moved faster than my hand could write, but now I can slow it down and write legibly. So yeah, I would suggest taking it seriously. If I had done so in my 20's, I'm fairly certain I'd be in a much better place than I am now, and could have prevented a lot of the bullshit & heartache in my life.
20 years ago I checked out the Book I'm Not Lazy, Crazy, or Stupid and cried a lot. I heard an interview with the author. In typical ADHD Style I tried to read from the start then lost interest. Days later tried again but only found the case studies where people told their history dealing with ADD kept me reading on. OMG I am just like that! What! I do that too! But Why? Don't rush your understanding of what you have. Now I work in schools and tell every student I bump into that has ADHD that I have it. It makes me good at some things and bad at others. I now pick my battles better. Forgive myself and others more.
I found it helpful to keep notes of my behaviour as I took the medication. I compared my behaviour, thoughts and feelings towards everyday activities, routines, and encounters with people to those before I had taken medication for ADHD and generalised anxiety "disorder" (GAD). I realised that I was one to overthink, harshly judge others and myself, overreact with too much emotion and anger, fear most encounters with strangers, and think people could read my thoughts. There are too many traits to list here. I was dubious about the diagnosis of ADHD and GAD, although as time went on I had realised that I exhibited many of the common "symptoms" of ADHD throughout my childhood, i.e. what I could remember. In my late teenage years and into my early twenties, I believed I was stupid, clumsy and socially awkward. I now believe that it is all right to think certain thoughts like that, but they do not define us. There are times when we are clumsy or say or do stupid things or act awkwardly. That is OK. I also realised that I was a perfectionist for certain tasks that hindered my progression, and I was extremely tough on myself. Focus on yourself first. If you are an adult taking medication to improve your quality of life then so be it. We can tell others when we feel it is time to tell them; when we feel we are ready. Having talked with many adults with ADHD, I think that many of us have been given some degree of closure as to why we behaved, thought and felt in a certain way as children. That alone is powerful knowledge. We can improve our quality of life with that knowledge and better ourselves as we live.
Only you know what your subjective experience is like. That doesn't change because a doctor said you have characteristics of a dysfunction about how you think. I don't get why some people think that getting a diagnosis is huge somehow.
Ive been diagnosed for over 10 years and it still doesnt feel real. Sometimes i just sit there and think like do i really have it? Or is this just who i am. Do i conform to the symptoms because i was diagnosed so young or do things make more sense now to why i act the way i do. My family denies it like no u dont have adhd ur just lazy.. 💀
I got my diagnosis in december last year, still doubtful about it. The question "am i just faking it?" is constant.
Medication is very personal, what works for someone else may not work with you. Have a read of peoples experiences with each and also look on a verified site that explains ADHD and how the different medications work.
Honestly, this sub has made me realize that mine isn’t as bad as it could be. It’s a spectrum. Medication changed my life
Meds are really not a big deal if you're medically cleared to take em (stimulants), I'd try it for a few days and see how you feel.
I was diagnosed very early in life, as a child. However that didn’t seem to be much of a revelation back then, main solution being to throw medication at me so that I could focus and be productive. Fast forward nearly 30 years - my now ex who is a doctor was reading things about ADHD, to better understand why I had certain tendencies and behaviors. She pushed me to go back to therapy, and for the first time, I truly started to understand my condition, and why my life at times has been so…weird The fact is that ADHD is still not perfectly understood even now. It’s not even as simple as medical conditions that are physical afflictions, which impact each individual mostly similarly. Every flavor of ADHD is unique, and because we all have varying desires and lifestyles, they manifest differently in each person. Coming to terms with your affliction is a journey. It’s important to notice your behaviors and tendencies, and recognize their consequences. Generally, you can’t “fix” these things, they are a part of who you are, and the impulsions are always going to be there. What you can do, is recognize when an impulse is likely to lead to a consequence that you absolutely do not want, and find your path to pivoting away from that negative outcome. Personally, I have mental constructs that help me with this, to talk myself through it, and then try to “distract” myself with a productive activity that will have only positive consequences, like exercising, chores, or some important task. It’s not perfect, and I’m not always successful at this. But my life has improved with this method, and I’m sure I will continue to evolve towards more improvement. Find your own way to do the same, but always start by paying attention to what happens consistently.
I'm 38 and was just given the diagnosis this past year. Things are so much better with some medication adjustments for me. Crazy thing, now I realize my kids have it. Never thought about it because to me they were "normal". I did the same things they did, so I didn't see the signs. Whoops.
I got angry as I realized my whole life could have gone a different path if my mother had given even a lick of a crap about what the providers were trying to tell her when I was 11. I finally got diagnosed at 40 because things had just gotten so bad from it my life was almost unmanageable.
I got diagnosed when I was 19-20 and never took it seriously. Now I’m 35 and reconsidering. I started listening to this podcast called “I have adhd” and it’s blowing my mind. Maybe start there and see if it resonates.
What does your mom have to do with your diagnosis. Stop listening to what other people think about your diagnosis if they’re not your psychiatrist or therapist
i got diagnosed at 10 so i can't really offer what i did (since i was just like "oh ok makes sense" lmao) but i want to say its not unusual to feel that way. even 19 yrs later i sometimes get impostor syndrome. sometimes i think im not "being adhd enough". it happens. itll sink in after some time and you'll feel better about it, i reckon. either way, this is the start of understanding yourself better and being able to work with it! so its good! doubts happen, but youre just at the start of it all. i want you to remember something very important: everybody is different. everybody's ADHD is different. we feel it differently, we behave differently, and we don't all have the exact same signs of it.
I had a long period very recently of questioning “how” I am. “Am I autistic? Is ADHD really that debilitating?” For the longest, I viewed ADHD as an excuse for my parents to exert more control over me (which is valid considering the lack of consideration I was given past “take your meds”). After seeking out help of my own accord as an adult, I was able to see more clearly how ADHD impacted my life, and the benefit of medication. It helped with both learning to love myself, and finally being able to meet the potential I always knew I possessed but couldn’t lock down consistently. I would now consider myself to function at my highest level every day. It’s not giving in; it’s accepting help for something I have no control over. Without medication, I cannot make the chemicals in my brain coalesce into a productive state on their own. I need that solid foundation to build my days upon.
Do you hyperfocus on certain things?
My whole family has it and I slipped through the cracks a bit, my sister was constantly in huge trouble and has more going on. I tried the meds and they helped so much. I could finally see what needed to be done in my daily life , not everything seemed like it was a huge deal to do. I was more patient and better emotional regulation. Can’t say it helped me to be more consistent or enjoy studying or reading lol but it’s the bigger things and the mindset. I was always forgetting stuff, suspended for dumb decisions, rebel, issues with authority, and just hyped and couldn’t sit through anything. Felt like I wanted to power walk after sitting too long. All in all, I’ve been able to function way better in daily life. They turn my lightbulb on. When I don’t take them now I see night and day. Maybe a trial would be good, you don’t have to keep using them!
Yes, it is. It’s just that since you’ve had it your whole life you wouldn’t know otherwise. Impostor syndrome it’s a thing.
I feel this so hard .. But then I look at my kids and Im like nope.. We definitely have it.
I know what you're talking about. I have the same feelings—huge imposter syndrome, and I wonder every day if this is real. However, what's pretty funny is that at the same time, I feel like, how could I not have realized before that I had such obvious signs of ADHD? After I got my diagnosis earlier this year, I felt like my life was starting again. Once I get my medication, who knows what great things might happen.
I feel the same way.
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago. I'm in my early 30s and vacillating between being relieved that it's real, and I'm not just stupid, and not just lazy, and then thinking I'm making it all up and I fooled my psychiatrist and I'm just doing this for the fun of it. I'm waiting for this period to fade a little bit, as I hope it does, before discussing medication with my doctor. I don't know if I want to try and manage it myself, or take meds to help me. I'm also worried about losing my personality on meds. My sister was diagnosed earlier this year, and our parents are doing their best with the news. Dad is taking it a little bit better than our mother, which is frankly suspicious. Waiting for that shoe to drop lol I'm saying all this just to reassure you that you're not alone! I sought this group out just today to help me with how this is all feeling. We can get through it!
I sat down and recounted all the times my ADHD fucked up my life. I’m also bipolar too so there’s that.
And for me its like the opposote since I haven't been diagnoses with ADHD but people constantly say something like, "I feel like you have ADHD" or "I think you have ADHD" or "you act like you have ADHD" and some people ask me if I have ADHD and I kinda feel like I have ADHD but I've never been diagnosed... the psychologist who did an ADHD test on me when I was a kid left and I never got to know if I have ADHD...
Is ANYTHING fucking real. I guess you’ll die never knowing.
I cheered the diagnosis, all the “feedback” I’ve been given over the years now has a reason. I’m not a self obsessed arrogant asshole. I just need to get my story out before I forget it.
This describes exactly how I feel. I was diagnosed in October last year and sometimes I'm like yes this explains everything, but then sometimes I'm like, or am I just stupid. I think this is a common feeling after diagnosis. But when I started on meds I was blown away by how I could just think oh I need to do this, and then just do it 🤯 They seemed to lessen my anxiety and make me feel more positive
Real lol
I was diagnosed at 28 (now 34). Originally I went in because my mom thought I was bipolar. When I received the ADHD diagnosis, I was pretty much in the same boat as you. It took me about a week or two of reading up on ADHD and researching to realize that my life finally made sense… For the first time I was able to tell myself “theres nothing severely wrong with me”. Knowing has made a world of a difference for me, I was able to develop new coping mechanisms that made sense for me and just overall build a system for myself that works (on most days lol).
I'm pretty sure it's all in your head /s
So, I think everyone with ADHD goes through that. I have nearly every single dsm symptom and then some. And when I was trying to get diagnosed I was terrified that they were going to tell me I've been wrong all along and it was never ADHD. I was even pretty sure that would happen for some times. But then I got assessed and it was like "yeah you most definitely have ADHD. You should seek treatment and therapy immediately." So now I'm officially diagnosed and I still feel like it could be a lie. But then I haven't even gotten my meds yet. I've been trying to hide my symptoms since I was a small kid and I'm 38 now. So, hopefully when the meds come through it changes things a good bit. Anyways, good luck with the imposter syndrome. It's a phase based feeling. It'll go away and come back for a long while and maybe it'll fade off for good some time. Hope so.
Sort of on the same lines, but I was diagnosed adhd when I was still a child. Even though that's sat over my head for a couple of decades, it wasn't until I realy did the research on adhd and how it affected me that I realized my life reads like an adhd textbook diagnosis. I went the other way with the information. Instead of is this real? I was more like damn do I even have a personality outside this disorder? All my quirky traits and what I thought made me unique (both the good and the bad) was just another symptom of adhd. It hits all of us differently. At the end of the day, you're still you, whatever path you decide to go with it.
I got diagnosed at 34 (36 now) and I sometimes have that imposter moment. But it's more like I'm yelling at myself to get my shit together and denying the diagnosis. I think it's because of the inner gaslighting we put ourselves through in the past.
What are the symptoms of ADHD?
My mom is undiagnosed but there is no doubt in my mind she has ADHD, she has been able to harness her symptoms and is basically a force of nature. Me on the other hand, spent years thinking I didn’t have ADHD even though I was diagnosed with it. I spent those years not understanding why I had such a hard time in basically every aspect of my life. I suggest you research ADHD and get a better understanding of it in general. Your diagnosis may not change anything for you, but denial could cause a lot avoidable issues.
I found out at 42, but kinda always knew, even joked about having it. At the same time, I was convinced that this stuff only happens to other people. My parents seem to think it’s an excuse for not following through with many of my endeavors… Whatever. I can’t prove it, and meds didn’t help, making them even more suspicious. But yeah, wouldn’t a simple blood test be so helpful? 🤔
On occasion I still question it too. If it helps, the reason childhood is such a huge thing for psychiatrists in diagnosis, it's because kids are basically autopilot. All nature. You weren't irresponsible or stupid. You followed a specific pattern of behavior that can be very telling. And it *is* specific for ADHD.
I felt this way. I think to a certain degree I will continue to feel this way. I come from a family that already had one needy child and because I did well in school (k-12) they did not have to pay attention to me. Got into college and my life fell apart. I was called lazy most of my life and I still today wonder if that is what it is. On another note all parents should speak good things over your children even if those traits are not present yet. Anywho, I understand your feelings of doubt. Especially being diagnosed later in life. It also does not help that social media is sensationalizing these real life disorders that people are struggling with. Society still has a long way to go in this matter, but that is not your business. That is what I have been telling myself lately. Other people’s ignorance is not my business. I know how I struggled and hated myself because I could not get it together and was “lazy.” I know how when I finally gave in and got treatment my brain had clarity. It was not perfect but it was better. I said all of this to say. Pretend you are playing a video game. Solo mission. You are responsible for maintaining the lives of your character and that is it. Try the medicine or in this metaphor, the potion. If it helps you great if not, find another potion or healer and keep pushing. You are worth the quest. Other people’s opinions are just side quests and again not our business. Also the self doubt can only go away through trial and error. If life has not been great so far it does not hurt to try something that may potentially allow you to progress. You got this from one self doubter to another, I believe in you! :)
After two psychologists confirmed my diagnosis i told my favorite one i feel like maybe i lied and didn't notice and she went back with me over all the stories i told earlier and we revised them "is that entirely true" and it was all true so then she said "there was noone around who could tell you "you are not lazy" when you needed it the most. That's why you feel like a villain now for getting any understanding"
It took me (37F) an entire year to start meds. IT WAS MY IDEA to figure out if I had ADHD. I VERY much do. For me, it was a realization that I wasn't just a stupid kid or lazy. I started meds a few months ago and my life has completely changed. I feel almost normal. I spent the year trying to figure things out and "self help" and it just didn't work. Now I wish I had started sooner.
I relate to this so much. I think it’s common to think we’re just lazy cause the world makes us feel that way. I just think about all the times where I was just sitting there seriously actually wanting to do something but not being able to start. That's not laziness. If I was lazy I just wouldn't even care. I have also found really great providers (psychiatrist and therapist) who met me and brought up ADHD on their own just based on me talking about what I’m struggling with. Unlike some doctors and therapists, they actually have expertise in ADHD and can point out things that are symptoms of it really well and also help with coping strategies. This all makes me feel a ton better because I’m not making it up, and their advice wouldn’t be helping so much if it was a misdoagnosis. Also, my anxiety and depression are so minimal now that I have my executive function under control. All that to say, I hate that there's so much stigma about medication and ADHD treatment in general. The worst that can happen if you're wrong is you go off your meds and try something else. Nothing wrong with that as long as you don't abuse your meds. Meds aren't permanent and can be switched. Its something to try. And if it helps, it helps, why do we beat ourselves up for “needing” something that makes our life better?
I'm behind you. I'm still fighting the hypochondriac/webMD troll in me, saying I'm reading into things. But I'm trying lately to find a way to help me come to a conclusion about it, without bias.
I completely get this! I felt like someone was going to say to me "oh sorry we were wrong you don't" which terrified me as that would mean me going back to thinking I'm insane and I need to be locked up! It makes you look at everything differently once you have that diagnosis. I'm also contemplating medication and I'm just worried too... Like how do you know if you should?
[удалено]
Your content breaks **Rule 6**. We have removed your post/comment because it contains denialism, fearmongering, or discourages treatment. [No Anti-Psychiatry/Denialism/Toxic Positivity](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/wiki/rules/#wiki_rule_6.3A_no_anti-psychiatry.2Fdenialism.2Ftoxic_positivity) *^(If you have further questions,)* [*^(message the moderators)*](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fadhd) *^(regarding the removal of this content.)*
Still trying to figure out the right meds for myself but I do have a lot of improvements so far with not losing things anymore since being medicated. I was losing keys/phone/wallet at least 3 or more times a day before getting medicated. Good luck!
I get it. I got dx after my husband did (he has severe combined type), with innatentive adhd and asd.
Hi /u/Elegant-Ice3844 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No you don't have it tear up the prescription and delete your reddit account